GHOST MAN ON THIRD
FLORIDA ACTION DIVISION
WINTER 2017 — ISSUE 7
THERE’S NO RULES!... WAIT YES THERE IS!
SERIOUS
Presented by Kyle Bateman
Our playing fields are run by the City of Jacksonville, so we need to pay close attention to
their rules to ensure we will have fields to play on for the season.
Pets:
Pets are not allowed at the park. Please make plans to keep your pets at home or we will have to ask
you and your pet to leave.
GMOT STAFF
Beverages:
Alcoholic beverage containers are not allowed at the park at any time,
this includes the fields & parking lots. No glass containers or bottles of
any kind are allowed on the fields. Coolers, Funnels, Kegs and Party Balls
or anything that seems fun are not allowed on the fields. You are required
to keep all beverages in bubba kegs, thermos bottles, solo cups, or anything that cannot be seen through. Clear colored or see through cups are
not allowed, please purchase solid colored solo cups. Anyone in violation
of the beverage policy will be asked to leave the premises and may be
suspended for the remainder of the season. Please do not be the guy/gal
walking in with a case of beer wrapped in a plastic bag or something. That
is NOT ok.
WAKA Action Division
Customer Service Rep:
Kyle Bateman
Other Activities:
Due to general safety and liability reasons; no other sports may be played
at a WAKA permitted field just prior to or during the games. That means
no tossing a football around or kicking a soccer ball etc.
CONTENTS
SERIOUS
PAGE
You are here
FIELD LAYOUT
3
WEEK 1 SCHEDULE
4
POWER RANKINGS
5
THEMES AND CONTESTS
6
PRESEASON HIGHLIGHTS
7
AFTER PARTY INFO
8
Fireworks:
Absolutely no fireworks of any kind are allowed on or near our fields. That
includes Sparklers, Flame throwers, Molotov Cocktails and anything else
you can think of.
Trash:
All trash must be picked up before you leave the field. Trash cans are
available throughout the park. Your CSR will also have trash bags available as well.
Restrooms:
We have a Port-A-Potty for our use at Gonzalez Park. Use it. Do not use
the caveman method and do your business in bushes or even worse in the
open. You may get a ticket and we may lose the permit to use the park!
Parking:
Park only in marked spaces or areas designated by the park. Parking on roads, on the curb, or on the
sidewalk in unmarked spots may result in a parking ticket.
Field
2
Potty
Field
1
P
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WEEK 6 RESULTS
WEEK 7 SCHEDULE
POWER RANKINGS
1. Body By Kickball – In a week of high scoring offense, BBK kept it close, but
they still got the job done against a Money Shots team that’s been firing blanks
as of late. BBK on the other hand has kept the winning consistent and looks
poised to clinch the #1 seed this week barring a slip up against the Jumbo
Shrimp. I know there are some fans of the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp on this
squad. Can they keep focused on the sport that truly matters or will they fall
victim to the conflicts of the heart?
2. Kickin and Waffles – These syrup-drenched soldiers came out on top, putting
away Little Flicks to the Kick 5-1. This week they face off against a group of Big
Booty Pitches who are salty after a blowout loss to DGAF.
Can they finish out the season strong to get one step
closer to fulfilling their dreams of being Kickball Kings
and Diner Dynamos? Barring K&W melting down like a
slab of hot butter, they should be clenching one of the
top 2 seeds.
3. Frequency – Wow! Not sure if Frequency wanted to send
off one of their comrades with a massive victory, or if
Jumbo Shrimp said some unsavory things about
Frequency’s mothers. Let’s hope it was the latter, but
either way they are powering into the last week with a
hefty 16-4 win and a 4-game win streak. They face off
with Can’t Come on my Base in the regular season finale.
Are they poised to make a playoff run? They’re hoping
their finale goes a little more Breaking Bad and a little
less How I Met Your Mother.
4. Basic Pitches – The Rookies of the Recess Sport have
put in an impressive 6 weeks with only 1 defeat. Last
week they laid a licking against a Chug Norris squad that
has been a little down on their luck. These Pitches don’t
take pity and blasted 10 runs in on the Delta Farce
(yeah, you thought the Chuck Norris references were
gone, but they aren’t!). Basic Pitches is looking to finish
their season by finishing off Money Shots. Can they come
out of Week 7 clean?
5. Money Shots – Not only did they hang in there with the top squad, but Money
Shots also put some twerk in on the dugout fences. If staring is rude, there
were a lot of folks who had no intention of being polite. Unfortunately, Money
Shots’ have lost that winning feeling and come up dry lately. They have one
last week to get their mojo back before playoffs. Do they have what it takes to
make it rain on BP’s parade?
6. Don’t Give a Flock – Look who finally decided to take flight. After a rough four
weeks against the Top 4 squads, Don’t Give a Flock has finally lived up to their
potential and put together back-to-back wins after putting away Big Booty
Pitches in dramatic fashion. Will their winning ways carry into week 7 against
Little Flicks or will they stumble just short of the finish line?
7. JB Boozter Club – Who ARE you? The only thing consistent about JB Boozter Club is
their inconsistency. No other team is more difficult to get a good gauge on then this
squad, but maybe that’s because their roster is larger than most World Cup teams. If
we were playing slots, they would be cleaning up after compiling a record of 2-2-2,
but we’re playing Kickball so let the question marks continue as they square off
against Chug Norris.
8. Big Booty Pitches – Ouch! While we agree that getting run-ruled is awful and
frustrating, it was good to see BBP and DGAF put aside some in-game differences and
have a friendly scrimmage afterwards. To be fair, this was a week DGAF actually had
captains there. Shore up that defense, because you’ve got
K&W coming to town. Maybe that extra practice helped BBP
figure out how to topple to Brunch-time bruisers from their
perch.
9. Can’t Come On My Base – CCOMB makes us wish we
had outsourced the Power Rankings to the old BCS folks,
because it would take an impressive algorithm to figure out
where this team should actually stand. After last week’s loss
to JB Boozter Club, they have a less than favorable matchup
with a red-hot Frequency squad who has their eyes on that
Golden Kickball Prize. Can they get one last Up before the
curtain falls on this season?
10. Chug Norris – They’ve been looking more like Lee Norris
than Chuck Norris lately. Go ahead and Google who Lee
Norris is, we’ll wait. Got it? Ok. Basic Pitches gave them a 102 lashing last week. This squad never surrenders though and
they are looking to either outplay, out party, or out-all of the
above the Boozter Club this week. On the upside, if they
need help shaping up, they should have an ample amount of
Total Gyms to help tightening up on.
11. Jumbo Shrimp – On the upside, if one team had to get
battered, Jumbo Shrimp was the best team for the job.
Sorry, but not really. Fried Jumbo Shrimp is delicious and the
key is a good battering. Choose your team name appropriately next time. No one is
out here saying Frequency is delicious! Can the Kickball Crustaceans generate some
late season magic to take down BBK or are they about to become double-battered
shrimp. Is anyone else hungry all of a sudden?
12. Little Flicks to the Kick – These Flicking Kickers have had a rough season since
their Week 1 victory, but they’ve always found a way to have fun. After a 5-1 loss to
K&W, they have an opportunity to add a bookend victory to the season by taking
down DGAF. It might be a tough task, but anything is possible in the eleventh* hour
of kickball seasons (*Twenty-third for you Euro-snobs and Military folk). Flickers vs.
Flockers…two teams with nicknames very close to profanity enter, both also leave
because this is Kickball, not Thunderdome.
SPOTLIGHTS
VETERAN of the week
Billy McCoy - Body By Kickball
How did you hear about WAKA? Bumble
What do you think of your WAKA experience thus far? Sucks...JUST KIDDING!
Love it!
How many seasons have you played? Any Championships? Like 12 seasons.
Maybe...I can’t remember.
What is your occupation? Was that on purpose? I manage people. Yeah, I
know, that’s scary.
Relationship goals? Not to be in one.
What makes you smile? My friends
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? I already live there.
It’s Jacksonville.
If you won the Lotto this week, what would you do with all the money? Spend
it.
What is your Twitter handle/Facebook Profile Thingy/and Instagram stuff? We
all want to be your friend. Facebook and Snapchat are both Billy McCcoy
What superpower would you want if you had the choice? X-ray vision. Think
about it.
SPOTLIGHTS
VETERAN of the week
Jonathan Johnson - Big Booty Pitches
How did you hear about WAKA? Through my friend, Elizabeth
How many seasons have you played? What teams? Championships?
This is my fourth season with the same team...and we’re still looking for a championship.
What do you think about your WAKA experience thus far? It’s been phenomenal.
Who are some of the most interesting people to you (past or present, famous or
not)? Donny “Dad” Kehrt takes the crown here.
What is your occupation? Was that on purpose? Banking and that was an
accident.
Relationship goals? You single (asking the reader)??
What makes you smile? The previous question
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? Seattle, Washington or
Barcelona, Spain
If you won the Lotto this week, what would you do with all the money? Buy
everyone in the league a round...maybe!
What is your Twitter handle/Facebook Profile Thingy/and Instagram stuff? We all
want to be your friend. @POTUS (not really)
What superpower would you want if you had a choice? I’d love to be able to time
travel
“Like” CLUB WAKA Jacksonville on Facebook to see all the pictures from each
week!