Using Analysis by Division
ACCEPTABLE DIVISION OF TOPIC USING ANALYSIS BY DIVISION
Topic: A Small-Scale Manufacturing Industry in a named Caribbean Country.
Narrowed Topic- J&L a Successful nutmeg Cottage industry in Grenada.
Thesis statement
J and L is a successful nutmeg cottage industry in Grenada
combines quality raw materials, a trained and dedicated
labour force and the innovative use of the nutmeg fruit.
Topic
Topic Sentence
Quality raw materials
Quality raw materials are an important factor of any
Comment [KC1]: Here the thesis
statement clearly indicates the subject and
the parts that will be discussed. Note
however that the full name of the company
should be spelt out.
successful manufacturing industry, be they large or small and
J &L is no exception.
Labour force
Another integral facet of this manufacturing company is its
trained and dedicated labour force.
Innovative use of the nutmeg The innovative use of the nutmeg fruit is also another aspect
fruit
of the successful operation of the J & L industry in Grenada.
Comment [KC2]: This sentence
develops the main topic mentioned in the
thesis by specifying what about the topic
will be developed
Comment [KC3]: Note the use of the
language of analysis by division – Another
integral facet – phrases such as these help to
keep the writer and reader focussed on the
topic
Comment [KC4]: Some variation in
where the link to analysis by division is
placed but again a clear reference to the
topic
DISJUNCTURE BETWEEN THESIS AND OUTLINE AND APPROACH AND
QUESTION ASKED.
Topic: The role of the manufacturing industry in either national or regional development.
Thesis statement
The procedure for manufacturing sugar in the sugarcane industry first
requires cultivation, harvesting, extraction and then processing.
Topic
Topic Sentence
Cultivation
Cultivation involves the process of planting seeds or planting the cane
stem for growth.
Harvesting
This second step requires the cane to be burnt or cut, collected and then
transported to the milling site for further processing.
Extraction
After the cane has been brought to the milling site it is cut, cleaned and
crushed to obtain the juice from the cane.
Processing
This last step involves the actual mixing of the cane juice with lime to
obtain the right ph that would allow the production of sugar.
Comment [KC5]: The question clearly
calls for an analysis by division approach.
The approach used by the student does not
answer the question because it changes the
focus from role to procedure.
Comment [KC6]: The student is
attempting to use a process approach but
again this does not address the issue of role
UNACCEPTABLE THESIS AND DIVISION OF TOPIC 2
Topic: A small-scale manufacturing industry in a named Caribbean country.
Thesis statement
The manufacture of processed seasoning is a
small but growing industry in Trinidad
Topic Sentence
Trained personnel are important to the success
of the industry.
Comment [KC7]: The thesis does not
clearly indicate what aspects of the topic
will be developed in the body of the essay.
Comment [KC8]: Explicit reference
needed so reader can relate this to the
question asked.
The location of the manufacturing plant in
relation to the supply of raw material is
important.
Efficient distribution of the finish product is
important.
Comment [KC9]: No relation to the
topic evident here. The writer must make
connections explicit rather than leave the
reader to work them out.
Comment [KC10]: Aside from the
grammatical error here ( can you spot it?)
the connection again is not clear.