Student: Aleta Walker
Body Paragraphs: Writing Body Paragraphs
Your score: 83.0/100.0 Print
Your results are stored in your gradebook. You can try to improve your score by returning to the topic and
taking a new set if there is one.
Below is a summary of your answers. Click any number to jump to that item.
1
Answer Details
Imagine an essay with no paragraphs. Readers would face an impenetrable wall of words; they would have
no guidance in how to cluster the information, no sense of which ideas were important. Good body
paragraphs prevent this problem in two ways: 1) they encourage writers to bring similar ideas together, and
2) they give a focus and structure to those ideas. As a result, writers can communicate their ideas much
more effectively.
You can learn in other activities how to discover and organize your main points, those insights that support
the truth of your thesis. With a general sense of your main points and organization, you can begin fleshing
out those points into paragraphs. As you do, remember that you are still in the drafting stage. Write easily
and quickly. You need to get all of your information down before you worry about whether it flows well or
expresses an appropriate tone. Here are three suggestions to help you write body paragraphs:
1.
2.
3.
1.
Advertise your main point. In most academic writing, readers expect you to tell them the main
point of your body paragraph in the first or second sentence, which we can call your paragraph's
topic sentence. The topic sentence lets readers know up front what you will be trying to teach
them in that paragraph.
Envision a structure. Even though you should draft quickly, you can still keep a sense of structure
in mind. Body paragraphs are usually organized around some variation of topic sentence—evidence
or examples—explanation. The explanation clarifies how the evidence or examples demonstrate
the truth of the topic sentence.
Provide your evidence. Work in all the specific examples and evidence you've collected that is
relevant to supporting the topic sentence. Don't worry if your paragraph gets really long; you can
go back in the revising stage to further divide paragraphs.
Activity: Definitely Playable
In the space below, write down the musician you would most like to be listening to right now.
Then, write down two reasons why this musician is so playable. Using these reasons as your topic
sentences, develop two paragraphs using the advice above. If you would prefer to use this space
to work on an existing project, copy and paste that project below.
Your Answer:
Musician I would be listening to: Pink
Reasons why: 1) Her songs are relatable to my life and some of the issues I
have or go through 2) She makes me have a nonchalant attitude about some
things in life... which is the attitude I would rather have towards some
things.
Essay:
Pink is an amazing artist. Her songs get through to people who are living
within the same problems as her. Whether the tone of the music is hardcore rock or has a soft melody to it, she makes her music worth listening to.
When an artist can get through to so many different types of people, you
know that person truly has a gift. For her to create music that can even
reach out to children who feel like the weight of the world is on their
shoulders is something I can't say too many artists are capable of; in a
positive way that is.
Another reason Pink is an awesome artist to listen to is because while she
can relate to the problems that others have, she also helps one to realize
that some things in life are just best to be left alone or face the problem
head on. When listening to her, I think people begin to feel a sense of.
When she gives you that option to have a nonchalant attitude towards
something, it helps me to live life to the fullest. I say the things I have to
say, do the things I want to do, and take risks on major possibilities in life.
And the best thing is she does it in such a positive way. This artist is
definitely one no one should pass up listening to.
Musician I would be listening to: Pink
Reasons why: 1) Her songs are relatable to my life and some of the issues I
have or go through 2) She makes me have a nonchalant attitude about some
things in life... which is the attitude I would rather have towards some
things.
Essay:
Pink is an amazing artist. Her songs get through to people who are living
within the same problems as her. Whether the tone of the music is hardcore rock or has a soft melody to it, she makes her music worth listening to.
When an artist can get through to so many different types of people, you
know that person truly has a gift. For her to create music that can even
reach out to children who feel like the weight of the world is on their
shoulders is something I can't say too many artists are capable of; in a
positive way that is.
Another reason Pink is an awesome artist to listen to is because while she
can relate to the problems that others have, she also helps one to realize
that some things in life are just best to be left alone or face the problem
head on. When listening to her, I think people begin to feel a sense of.
When she gives you that option to have a nonchalant attitude towards
something, it helps me to live life to the fullest. I say the things I have to
say, do the things I want to do, and take risks on major possibilities in life.
And the best thing is she does it in such a positive way. This artist is
definitely one no one should pass up listening to.
Score: 83
Feedback:
Thanks for your submission, Ms. Walker. You've done a good job of focusing on Pink as
your artist of choice.
This exercise falters a bit, though, in the paragraphs. Remember, the purpose of this
exercise is to advertise (your topic), envision (project what your paragraphs will state),
and provide (evidence).
Based on your 2 reasons, your paragraphs should announce those reasons as topic
sentences separately. Perhaps your topic sentences could've been better conveyed,
overall. Remember, the more specific you are with them, the better you can convey
them. You must provide specific illustrations for your ideas. Remember, TRI is
appropriate for academic writing when developing body paragraphs. The majority of this
exercise is a bit vague, I'm afraid. You must show rather than tell.
Please see the following:
2) She makes me have a nonchalant attitude about some things in life...
which is the attitude I would rather have towards some things. This is
very vague. . .
Whether the tone of the music is hard- core rock or has a soft melody to
it, she makes her music worth listening to. Relevance to your topic?
For her to create music that can even reach out to children who feel like
the weight of the world is on their shoulders is something I can't say too
many artists are capable of; in a positive way that is. This is structurally
awkward. Revisit semicolons.
Another reason Pink is an awesome artist to listen to is because while
she can relate to the problems that others have, she also helps one to
realize that some things in life are just best to be left alone or face the
problem head on.
Close
Copyright © Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved. Legal Notice - Privacy Policy - Permissions - Get Technical Support
. Course ID: peterson59514