OUT THE OTHER SIDE S TO R I E S O F BREAST CANCER S U R V I VA L OUT THE OTHER SIDE STORIES OF BREAST CANCER SURVIVAL ‘Out the Other Side: Stories of Breast Cancer Survival’ is a collection of individual real–life stories of women who have survived breast cancer. It is designed to offer hope and support to other survivors or women living with the disease in Ireland. All of the women featured are living proof that it is possible not only to come out the other side of a breast cancer diagnosis, but to thrive and grow after it. Each story comprises three elements: a shared personal experience of surviving breast cancer; a photograph of each survivor as they are today; and a photograph shared by these women that they feel represents their ‘survivorship milestone’, essentially, what surviving breast cancer has meant for each of these women. You will read stories of elation and anti-climax, which are happy and sad, funny and irreverent, and filled with confusion, guilt and gratitude. But they are all real. Because just like breast cancer, we know that no survivor’s journey is the same. Our hope is that this campaign and the stories shared will be a source of comfort and hope to women at various stages of their cancer journey. We hope they will encourage others to seek help and support to understand how cancer may have affected them and give them the tools to rebuild and enjoy their lives. ASHLEY COFFEY, 42 BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR SINCE 2005 Ashley was diagnosed in 2005. She had a lumpectomy 10 days before Christmas and a repeat surgery in January 2006. She started chemotherapy in March 2006, followed by radiation treatment and brachytherapy. Nine years later, she was diagnosed with a second primary breast cancer tumour. She underwent a mastectomy and chemotherapy. My life was kick-started when my breast It was fantastic. I landed in Dublin from Dubai cancer came back nine years after my first the night before my last chemo session. diagnosis. I wasn’t going to sit around and I got cancer but I definitely got the travel let cancer consume me. If it wanted me, it bug as well. could chase me. My children were and still are my driving I started a countdown to chemo force. When my treatment was over, my challenge and tried to fit in as many things youngest son and I went on a celebration as possible before chemo trip to the US because he “THESE DAYS, INSTEAD started. I never travelled had gone through this as much as I would have journey with me. We had OF PUTTING BARRIERS liked to so, with my family a special sleepover at the IN MY WAY, I KNOCK and friends, I just started Natural History Museum in throwing darts at a map and New York, with nothing but THEM DOWN. I AM off we’d go. Ryanair became a torch and sleeping bags CREATING LOADS OF our best friend. We went and about 30 other people. MEMORIES FOR MYSELF to Barcelona, Amsterdam, We got to run through the Marrakesh and Portugal. AND FOR MY CHILDREN.” halls in the middle of the And, because I wasn’t night looking for Dum Dum physically unwell during the and we got to sleep under treatment, the countdown to that famous big blue whale chemo challenge continued in the lobby. It was a once right through chemotherapy. in a lifetime experience. I’d get a heparin flush every I’ve learned that life is three weeks and then I was a memory box. Nobody off. Immersing myself in knows what’s around the foreign cultures kept me corner. focused and upbeat. My advice to others I went to the see The would be, find something Cure in London, which was a that floats your boat. big treat for a former CureDon’t put things off. We are head. I went to Rome with my son. responsible for our own happiness. It took As the chemotherapy was coming to an me a long time to see that. I always thought end, I asked my consultant if I could go to you needed to be part of a double act but Dubai before my last session. He took some I learned that other people are not going persuading, but I promised I’d stop off in to make you happy. Istanbul for a few days to break up the trip. I’m standing strong and I’m happy. BERNIE WALSH, 55 BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR SINCE 2012 Bernie was diagnosed in November 2012. She underwent two lumpectomy surgeries and eight weeks of chemotherapy, followed by 12 weeks of a second chemotherapy regimen. A severe reaction to this saw her spend over a week in ICU. The chemotherapy was cancelled and she moved to hormone therapy and seven weeks of radiotherapy. She finished her treatment in September 2013. Standing on the stage on the opening A few weeks before that, just as my night of Jesus Christ Superstar, that was radiotherapy was ending, I did a flash when I knew I had made it mob performance in “IT TOOK CANCER through breast cancer. Leopardstown racecourse When I first felt the with 100 other people. TO GIVE ME A KICK UP lump, I knew in my heart It was my first time out in THE BACKSIDE, what it was, but when they public without my hat or TO SAY ‘GET UP AND told me that it actually my wig. was breast cancer, my first I’m not going to be afraid LIVE YOUR LIFE’.” reaction was terror. My mind to do things anymore. I’m went into overdrive. I didn’t just going to do them. know what to think or what My advice to anyone to feel. would be to grab life I’ve been involved with with both hands and run the Coolmine Music Society with it. Don’t be afraid of for more than 16 years. I was challenges. If you don’t chairperson of the society take on new challenges, when I got my diagnosis you’ll never know if you can and I was determined to succeed. keep up my involvement. A year that started Unfortunately, a bad reacout awful, ended up being tion to chemotherapy amazing for me. Cancer meant I had to resign half changed me but it changed way through my treatment. me for the better. I wanted But almost a year to to live because I have two the day after my diagnosis, great kids and I want to I was standing on that be around them for a long stage in Jesus Christ Superstar – one of my time. I cherish every day now. I wake up favourite musicals. There was such a sense every morning and I am genuinely thankful of achievement and a real buzz. that I am still here. DEIRDRE FEATHERSTONE, 50 BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR SINCE 2012 Deirdre was sent to hospital by her GP in September 2012 for a tummy problem. Before the end of that week she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. She had eight months of chemotherapy, followed by a mastectomy and six weeks of radiotherapy. Deirdre opted for reconstructive surgery and had what she hopes is her last surgery last month. Her blog is www.kickingtheshiteout ofcancer.com I was determined that I was going to there – people who had had cancer or kick the shite out of cancer, so it was the were just starting out on that road, people perfect title for my blog. I started www. who had lost someone to cancer, people kickingtheshiteoutofcancer.com when I was who had been touched by cancer in some diagnosed in September 2012. It has been way. It was liberating and empowering and really therapeutic for me. And it has over a magical. And we raised €24,000 to boot. quarter of a million views, It has now become an “TAKE CHANCES IN LIFE. which is pretty amazing. annual event. It’s always When they told me that I an amazing feeling. It’s a TAKE RISKS. DO A NIKE had breast cancer and that celebration and a rememON IT – JUST DO IT. I would need chemotherapy, brance, and lots of fun. radiotherapy and surgery, To date we have raised DO IT BECAUSE YOU I thought ‘OK, I’m going to over €70,000 for children’s MIGHT NOT GET be sick for the next year. cancer. For me, that’s a It can either be crap or I great achievement in my life ANOTHER CHANCE.” can make something of it.’ and I wouldn’t have been So I started writing the blog. able to do it without my I’ve made some amazing wonderfully cool ‘Dipper’ friends through it. We’ve friends. supported each other and I came through cancer we’ve been able to support with a different attitude. people who are starting off The lesson I learned is: on the journey. Some nights Get rid of all the negative we’re all still gabbing away people in your life and at 4am, unable to sleep for surround yourself with the the medication. positives. In June 2013 we had Having cancer turned our first ‘Strip and Dip’. out to be a very special To raise money for two little time in my life. When you’re girls with cancer, about 80 sick you’re stripped back women got together, stripped naked and to who you really are. There’s a real honesty ran into the Irish Sea at Magheramore about people, and everyone is in the same Beach in Wicklow. I had one boob and no boat. It’s amazing the friendships you make. hair but I wasn’t the only boobless one Having those friendships made cancer less there. There were all kinds of body shapes scary and made the journey less lonely. DEIRDRE MORRISSEY, 40 BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR SINCE 2011 Deirdre was diagnosed in December 2011 at the age of 36. At the time her daughters were aged 5 and 2. She had a mastectomy on December 23rd and was discharged from hospital on Christmas Eve. She started chemotherapy in January and went on to have six weeks of radiotherapy. Once I started chemotherapy, I became with people again my outlook started to very depressed and withdrawn. I cut myself change. off from everybody with the exception of A few weeks after finishing treatment, my husband and children. I wouldn’t even I went to see Leonard Cohen in Kilmainham drop my kids to school with my husband and a “IT’S ALL ABOUT THE because I didn’t want anygroup of friends. I’d bought one asking me how I was new clothes, and there we KIDS. AS LONG AS I’M doing. I couldn’t find the were, sitting on the grass in HERE TO SEE THEM good in anything. Nothing Kilmainham on a beautiful GROW UP, THAT’S gave me joy. I would go to summer’s evening. It was bed at 8pm with the kids fantastic. I even had three ENOUGH FOR ME.” so that I could say another glasses of wine which I day was over and I could hadn’t been able to do in mark it off the calendar. about 10 months. I woke up People were trying to make with my first hangover in me laugh but I had nothing a long, long time and it to laugh about, so I just cut felt great. family and friends out of We have a great life my life. now. Now I feel like a It took a good six months survivor. I never thought before I started to think that I’d be able to say that. maybe I would come out the It’s a long road and there other end of this. I started are buckets of tears along to feel that this horrible the way but I can’t believe nightmare would finish the my life now compared to day I finished radiotherapy. three years ago. I never And it did. thought I’d be happy again. That day I sent out a flood I have no ambition to of texts to all the people who climb Mount Everest or run had been trying to support me through a marathon or anything like that. I’m at my it all but who I had blocked out. I wanted happiest on a Friday night, sitting on the to meet each of them as soon as possible. couch watching the Late Late Show with a Once I started going out and meeting up glass of vino. JACKIE CONLAN, 51 BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR SINCE 1989 Jackie was originally diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 24. She was diagnosed with a second tumour 11 years later. Genetic testing revealed that she carried the BRCA gene mutation which confers an increased risk of breast and ovarian cancer. Jackie has had her breasts, ovaries and womb removed. One of my favourite quotes is from the Maynooth University. I’ll never forget that movie The Shawshank Redemption, “get first day walking across the footbridge. busy living or get busy dying”. I’m definitely I just stood there in the middle of the the get busy living kind. bridge, looking down at the traffic for about When I was diagnosed with breast 10 minutes. cancer in 1989 I was 24 and my daughter At graduation in 2010, my name was was just 7 months old. I had called out as the highest “AFTER BREAST CANCER, chemotherapy followed by achieving student of my PEOPLE LIVE radiotherapy and despite the year. I remember accepting odds, I went on to have two the award and I genuinely A DIFFERENT WAY more wonderful children. appreciated it and what BUT A FREER WAY. During a routine check-up in it represented. I was off2000, they found a second ered the John Hume ScholI GIVE MYSELF THE tumour in the other breast. arship to pursue a PhD FREEDOM TO LIVE. On genetic testing it turned and I was so thrilled and out that I carry the BRCA honoured to be offered this I’M OPEN TO ANYTHING. gene. Three of my six sisters prestigious prize. IF I CAN FIT IT IN MY have also had breast cancer. In August, I did the DIARY, I’M GAME.” I have had my breasts and Camino de Santiago in ovaries removed, as well as a Northern Spain with my full hysterectomy – the same two daughters and one of as Angelina Jolie, so I’m in my best friends. We walked the cool gang now. 25Km every day carrying For many years, on my a backpack so you had way to work, I would drive to consider very carefully under the footbridge that what to bring. When I was connected the north campus packing to go, the question of Maynooth College to the was, ‘do I bring the boobs? south campus. I’d watch the Do I value them enough to students crossing and be so put them in the backpack envious. I always wanted to go to college and lug them around for 25Km every day’? but being the youngest of 11 children, it just The answer was no. wasn’t an option when I left school. Breast cancer is something that After my second diagnosis, I took some happened to me but that’s all. It doesn’t time off work and at 44 years of age, define me. I choose to get busy living and I started studying sociology and history at I can’t wait for the next adventure. LESLEY BERNEY, 41 BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR SINCE 2002 Lesley found a lump in her breast while taking a shower in August 2002. Following a lumpectomy, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was one of only three women in the country under 30 diagnosed with breast cancer that year. Two weeks after the lumpectomy, she had a partial mastectomy. The surgery coincided with her 3rd wedding anniversary. She received six months of chemotherapy followed by radiotherapy. Lesley is currently in the second year of a psychology degree at DCU and hopes to eventually work in the field of child psychology. I believe everything happens for a reason understatement. It was a lightbulb moment. and I believe cancer gave me my life back. I’m a foster mum now. It’s been an In 2002, when I was 28, incredibly rewarding journey, “BEING A FOSTER MUM I went to my GP because we’ve had 12 kids through IS MY JOB NOW AND we were having difficulty this house in the last four getting pregnant. As I was years. I have two full-time IT’S THE BEST JOB IN leaving, as sort of an aftergirls at the moment and a THE WORLD. MY JOB thought, I asked him to little lady with autism who IS TO ADVOCATE FOR check a lump I’d found in comes to stay with us my breast. A few weeks later every second weekend and THESE KIDS AND DO I was seen at the breast clinic has done for the past four WHAT’S IN THEIR BEST and I was told it was nothing years. Our home is their INTEREST. I BELIEVE to worry about. I literally home and I’ve loved every cried with relief. But a few second of it. THAT IF I HADN’T days later I got a call to say I always knew I wasn’t GOTTEN CANCER, the consultant had reviewed going to die. Even if the THAT WOULDN’T my file and wanted me back universe wanted me to die, in. I had a lumpectomy on I wasn’t going to. I don’t HAVE HAPPENED.” September 5th and on do anything I don’t want September 10th, I was told to. But I still had to see that the lump was cancer. my consultant regularly for I was a typical Celtic Tiger check-ups. For the last five cub - very career-driven, lots years it’s been once a year. of business travel. You get Last year he signed me caught up in the rat race. off. He said: “Lesley, we’re I lost sight of what was breaking up. It’s not you important. Cancer made me it’s me.” stand still and just breathe. To say I thank cancer for showing me what’s cancer completely changed my life is an important. LORRAINE REDMOND, 47 BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR SINCE 2014 Lorraine was diagnosed in May 2014 as part of a programme provided by her employers Marks & Spencer which invites all female employees over 40 to have a mammogram every two years. She underwent a lumpectomy, three months of chemotherapy and two months of radiotherapy. She finished treatment on December 15th – the day before her 47th birthday. Cancer isn’t fun. It was a horrible year. might be the sensible thing to do, but it’s not But it did change me and make me a better really much fun. We don’t need to put person I believe. €1,000s into a house that’s going to be left I was diagnosed through a behind us. Having a nice “CANCER HAS TAUGHT routine mammogram. There car or a nice house isn’t ME THAT LIFE IS FOR was no lump to feel, so I was half as much fun as rolling completely shell-shocked. down the hill in the park LIVING. IT WOKE ME UP The doctors told me the with your grandkids. I’m the TO THE FACT THAT LIFE outlook was good, but all I fun nanny. IS NOT A REHEARSAL. could think about was that I’ve made some amazing I had cancer and this could friends – other women who THIS IS THE REAL THING. be it. Every time I saw my have been through the same THESE DAYS I LIVE beautiful grandchildren, I thing. This year at the Relay wondered if I would get to for Life in Ballyfermot, four IN THE NOW.” see them making their of us got a tattoo on our communion. There were waves wrists that says ‘Believe’, of fear and sadness. with the pink breast cancer I attended a Survive and ribbon running through it. Thrive workshop with the I love my job, and I do Marie Keating Foundation the best I can at it, but now which gave me the kick I when I clock out I clock out. needed to say to myself ‘You I live every single day. I try survived! Go live your life, to do something fun and enjoy yourself, and be grateful.’ enjoyable instead of sitting I used to think my job was around watching TV and so important, and I would getting ready for work. clean the house every day. My partner and I might drive We waste so many years to Howth, buy a bag of planning to do things or chips and just sit watchputting things off, saying ing the sea. I don’t say I can’t do that because I need to buy a I’m too tired to go to the park or it’s new car. I had gotten into a rut of being too cold to walk on the beach. Life is a sensible grown-up. Buying a new car a celebration. NICOLA CAHILL, 35 BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR SINCE 2013 Nicola was diagnosed last year, a week after her 34th birthday. Playing pitch and putt one morning, she felt pain in her right breast. Over the next three weeks the pain got progressively worse. Her GP referred her to St James’s Hospital for assessment and she was given her diagnosis a week later. Because her cancer was oestrogenpositive, her doctors used medication to induce early menopause. She received chemotherapy for four months, radiotherapy for more than six weeks and has now had a double mastectomy. I lost a lot to cancer, but I gained a lot too. cancer in your 20s or 30s. Because the doctors had to induce People said not to make friends in the menopause, I know I’ll never chemo ward and I can “THERE HAS BEEN A physically carry a child of my understand that, but the own. The risk of my breast best thing to come out of LOT OF LOSS, BUT ON cancer recurring would be this horrific situation are THE OTHER SIDE, I HAVE too much. I come from a big the friends I’ve made. family and I always hoped MADE FRIENDSHIPS THAT There’s a group of seven that someday I would meet of us who were diagnosed WILL LAST A LIFETIME.” somebody and have kids of with cancer in our 20s or my own. That was difficult 30s - some are a little older to accept. than me, some are a little I used to be very active younger - and we are now and play a lot of sport, friends for life. We’re there and I’ll never be able to go for each other in the tough back to being as active as times and we go out and I was. For the reconstruction have fun together too. surgery they had to take a I don’t think I would have large graft from my back managed all this so well and that has limited me without them. a lot. That has been hard Cancer opened my eyes for me. to the world and to people. Everyone told me it was These days I focus on the very unusual to be diagnosed now and the people who with cancer at 34 so that first have been with me on this day walking into the chemo journey. Nobody knows ward, I wasn’t expecting to what’s around the corner. see any other women my age. But I was I stay positive, but a lot of that is down to wrong. I saw that it’s not rare to get breast the people around me. ROISIN DUNNE, 49 BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR SINCE 2012 Roisin was 46 when she was diagnosed. She had fallen and hurt her ribs, and it was then that she noticed a large lump in her left breast. On mammogram she was found to have an 8cm tumour in her left breast and a smaller tumour in the other breast. She underwent eight rounds of chemotherapy, followed by a bilateral mastectomy. When they told me I had breast world and then placing all this sadness on her. cancer all I could think about was my But on 17th of May this year, Darcy made daughter. As a single mother with a four- her communion in a brand new communion year-old girl, I couldn’t bear dress that we picked out “ONE WET DAY DARCY the thought of her going together. I was standing through her life alone. AND I MADE IT FROM THE there right beside her, I didn’t want Darcy to grow cancer free. TOP OF GRAFTON ST TO up to be a sad person with These days I live for the THE BOTTOM DANCING a sad story, but I couldn’t day. I’m in. I don’t worry AND JUMPING IN help thinking about all the about saving for that rainy big occasions in her life that day anymore. Life is too short. PUDDLES AND SINGING I would miss. I value the people in my CHRISTMAS CAROLS AT Even though her comlife so much more. Family, munion was three years away, THE TOP OF OUR LUNGS.” friends, neighbours – they I went out one day and were all so good to me. bought her a communion My neighbours arranged a dress. I put it in the back rota between them so that of the wardrobe and told I had a hot, healthy, homenobody about it except my cooked meal served to me mother. If I didn’t make it every evening in bed. to that day, I wanted her to Things like that meant the know that she was wearing world to me. a dress that her mum picked And I don’t worry about out for her. what people think of me To protect her from what anymore. I’m not afraid to was going on we never be silly. talked about cancer around People must have thought her. We created a code I was crazy but once you’ve name for cancer. We called had to walk around with it Kevin. My mum was say no hair and no eyebrows ‘How is Kevin today?’ and I’d and bloated from steroids, say “He’s a bit tired today’ or ‘He’s not doing looking silly doesn’t really matter. I was too bad’. giving my child happy memories and that’s I felt so guilty for bringing Darcy into this more important than fitting in. YVONNE JOYE, 47 BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR SINCE 2009 Yvonne was diagnosed in November 2009. Having felt an abnormality in her breast and hearing all the messages about breast checks, she went to her GP who referred her to a specialist. Five days later, she was given her diagnosis. She had a double lumpectomy, followed by four sessions of chemotherapy and 25 sessions of radiotherapy. She is now the author of two books – Ten Fingers and Ten Toes, and An Inconvenient Year, which details her breast cancer journey. That day in December 2009 when I got and then she got it again. That undid me. the call to say that I was cancer-free, I was A number of mothers with kids at my son’s alone in my kitchen. Hearing school got cancer and “THE BIGGEST CHANGE those words, left me sliding not all of those lovely girls to the floor in relief. Tears CANCER HAS BROUGHT survived. That scares me. rolled down my face and But I can’t let it overtake TO MY LIFE IS THAT I NO repeating “thank you” over me. I have been gifted with LONGER WASTE TIME. I and over was all I could say. a second chance at life and CHERISH TIME, USE TIME Long after the call ended, it’s up to me to live it; I owe I remained on the floor, still it to myself and I owe to AND SPEND TIME ONLY thanking but instead of those who love me. So I WITH THOSE WHO DO crying I was now smiling. take my medication, I go for NOT WASTE MINE.” That call changed everymy check-ups and I walk thing. Whatever treatment every-day. prescribed, I would do; I get to share more of life chemotherapy, radiotherapy with my husband and my medication. How could I children. I get to be there complain about hair loss, for them, through the big when I had been worried stuff and the small stuff; about my life? their first Wes, leaving cert, I went through chemo university, picnics on the and I started radiotherapy beach. Surviving cancer at the end of April 2010. means I get to have all that. Radiotherapy didn’t impact I now chase what makes on me too much. This was a me happy, capture it and time of hope; it was spring make it part of my life. and I was coming out the And I urge the same for other side. my children; to seek, find Naturally, cancer coming and work at what makes back frightens me. On my them happy and contented. second chemo session I met a woman It’s all I want for them and good health too, who had been cancer-free for three years please God. This campaign could not have happened without the contributions of several people. Thanks to Gerry Andrews for taking the beautiful portrait photographs, which help to portray the return to normality after a hugely emotional and physically difficult experience. Thanks to Dawn O’Shea for conducting the interviews so sensitively, and helping these brave women to articulate their very moving stories of survival. Sharing your cancer story is a deeply personal and sometimes difficult thing to do. We would like to express deep and sincere gratitude to all ten women who so graciously shared their stories and their very personal ‘survivorship milestone’ photographs. Dealing with a cancer diagnosis can be overwhelming. If you or a member of your family has been diagnosed with breast cancer, there is help and support available. Contact the Marie Keating Foundation on 01 6283726 or visit www.mariekeating.ie for more information. This campaign was produced by Roche in partnership with the Marie Keating Foundation.
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