The Struggle against Silence:
Helpful Tips for Writing
Compiled by
Heidi R. Lewis, Ph.D.1
August 16, 2014
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This handbook contains material Professor Lewis developed when she was a Graduate Teaching Associate in the English
Department at Ohio University in 2003 and throughout her term as a Writing Tutor for SMARTHINKING, Inc. in 2009. While
the material in this handbook has been recently revised, you should also consult with credible sources, such as the experts in the
Colket Center, for additional support.
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Table of Contents
Topics and Titles ............................................................................................................................. 3
Research .......................................................................................................................................... 3
Primary and Secondary Sources ................................................................................................. 4
When to Cite Sources.................................................................................................................. 4
Locating Sources ......................................................................................................................... 4
Thesis Statements/Argumentation .................................................................................................. 4
Sweeping Generalizations ........................................................................................................... 5
Introductions ................................................................................................................................... 5
Conclusions ..................................................................................................................................... 6
Sentence Construction .................................................................................................................... 6
Sentence Openings ...................................................................................................................... 6
Sentence Variety ......................................................................................................................... 6
Voice ........................................................................................................................................... 7
Mood ........................................................................................................................................... 7
Sentence Fragments .................................................................................................................... 7
Phrases and Clauses .................................................................................................................... 8
Mixed Constructions ................................................................................................................... 8
Faulty Predication ....................................................................................................................... 8
Parallelism................................................................................................................................... 8
Paragraph Construction ................................................................................................................... 9
Topic Sentences .......................................................................................................................... 9
Development ............................................................................................................................... 9
Organization .............................................................................................................................. 10
Transitions................................................................................................................................. 10
Paragraph Unity ........................................................................................................................ 10
Tone .......................................................................................................................................... 11
Word Choice ................................................................................................................................. 12
Diction....................................................................................................................................... 12
Point of View ............................................................................................................................ 12
Denotation and Connotation ..................................................................................................... 12
Subject-Verb Agreement .......................................................................................................... 12
Verb Tense ................................................................................................................................ 12
Pronouns ................................................................................................................................... 13
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Pronoun Case ........................................................................................................................ 13
Pronoun Reference ................................................................................................................ 13
Pronoun-Antecedent Agreement ........................................................................................... 13
Modifiers ................................................................................................................................... 14
Dangling Modifiers ............................................................................................................... 14
Adjectives and Adverbs ........................................................................................................ 14
Subordinating Conjunctions...................................................................................................... 15
Language ................................................................................................................................... 15
Figures of Speech ...................................................................................................................... 15
Wordiness ................................................................................................................................. 16
Redundancy............................................................................................................................... 16
Who and Whom ........................................................................................................................ 16
Gender Bias ............................................................................................................................... 17
Punctuation ................................................................................................................................... 17
Commas .................................................................................................................................... 17
Comma Splices and Run-On (Fused) Sentences .................................................................. 17
Appositive Phrases ................................................................................................................ 18
Introductory Elements ........................................................................................................... 18
Restrictive and Nonrestrictive Clauses ................................................................................. 18
Transitional Expressions and Conjunctive Adverbs ............................................................. 18
Additional Comma Usage ..................................................................................................... 19
Dialogue ................................................................................................................................ 19
Colons and Semi-Colons........................................................................................................... 20
Dashes ....................................................................................................................................... 20
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Topics and Titles
Choosing a topic and title are two of the most important parts of developing your essay. They
also may be two of the most difficult parts. Your title should suggest your topic and spark your
audience’s interest. Depending on the purpose, intended audience, and tone of your project, your
title may be direct and informative, witty, or intriguing.
You might choose to write straightforward, descriptive titles:
The Economic Disadvantages of Single Parenthood
Hunger in Cleveland: A Practical Solution
You might choose to ask a question that your essay answers:
What Are Your Rights?: An Examination of Tenants’ Rights in Colorado
You might use alliteration—repeating initial sounds, which often produces a catchy title:
Dreaming about Dollars: A Socioeconomic Analysis of Lottery Participants
You might consider using a play on words or a humorous expression:
The Rub against Ribs: Health Problems with Barbecue Culture in Memphis, TN
(Rub is both a seasoning for barbecue ribs and a word that suggests problems or
disadvantages.)
Avoid broad, vague titles that sound like labels. Titles such as “Baseball Fans” or “Gun Control”
provide your reader with too little information.
Research
When you write an essay, many of the claims you make will be drawn from common knowledge,
which you share with your audience. However, if your entire essay consists of common
knowledge, it won't be very interesting. You'll just be telling your audience what they most likely
already know, stating the obvious. Your thesis would be neither controversial nor
informative. Sometimes, you will make claims your audience will accept on your authority—for
example, a personal experience that illustrates your point. But unless your essay is entirely about
your own experience (and it shouldn’t be in this case), your audience probably won't accept your
word for everything. Evidence is information that answers the question, “How do you know?”
regarding a claim you’ve made. Please take that question very literally. At first, it is often hard to
tell the difference between telling your audience what you know and telling them how you know
it. But to be effective in almost any context, you need to be able to ask this question repeatedly
and test the answers you give for effectiveness. On the other hand, be sure not to rely too heavily
on secondary sources. Use them to support your thesis rather than adapting your thesis to suit
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your sources. Avoid the trap of simply collecting the opinions of others and rearranging them—
otherwise, your audience might as well engage those sources rather than your project.
Primary and Secondary Sources
Primary sources contain original material and raw information, grounding your work in firsthand
knowledge and verifiable facts. Primary sources include, but are not limited to, historical
documents (letters, diaries, speeches), literary works, autobiographies, original research reports,
eyewitness accounts, and your own interviews, observations, or correspondence. Secondary
sources report on, describe, interpret, or analyze someone else’s work, supplying the context for
your discussion and providing support for your own interpretation or argument. For example, a
journal article that reviews several previously published research reports on heart disease is a
secondary source.
When to Cite Sources
The following suggestions will help you use sources to support your claims or arguments.
1. Make general comments more specific. If you claim that “the crime rate in New York
City has decreased over the past few years,” you might offer statistics from a credible
source that indicates what percentage the rate has decreased.
2. Give specific examples that illustrate your main points. If you are writing about why
some companies refuse to accept orders over the Internet, you might locate a business
that refuses to conduct business electronically and give firsthand accounts from
management or owners.
3. Supply technical information. If you are writing about a medication used to treat high
blood pressure, you might gather information from credible sources about its
manufacture, ingredients, effectiveness, cost, and side effects.
4. Support opinions with evidence. If you argue that more federal assistance is needed for
public education, locate and provide statistics, facts, expert opinion, and other evidence.
5. Provide historical information. If you are writing about space stations, you might find
out when the first one was established, what country launched it, and other pertinent
information to add necessary background information.
6. Locate information about similar events. If you are writing about an incident in which
a president intervened in a labor strike, you might find out if other presidents have
intervened similarly in the past. You can then use this information to make comparisons
and point out unique actions.
Locating Sources
Use a variety of sources when conducting research, consulting with your professor to determine
what kinds of sources you should use and with a librarian to find out how you can locate them.
Thesis Statements/Argumentation
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Your thesis needs to be interesting because it needs to capture a reader’s attention. If your
audience reads your thesis and asks, "So what?” your thesis has failed to do its job, and chances
are your essay has as well. Thus, make your thesis provocative and open to reasonable
disagreement, but then make your case persuasively enough to sway those who might disagree.
A good thesis goes beyond the obvious and incontestable, merely describing something. A better
thesis tells your audience what you think, offering a reading or interpretation. Two useful ways
of thinking about this are to consider the impetus for and/or implications of a particular
phenomenon. Additionally a thesis can also be constructed as roadmap or blueprint for your
project. In summation, a good thesis: expresses one main idea; tackles a subject with which a
reasonable audience could disagree (i.e. justifies discussion); addresses the impetuses for and/or
implications of the study; and asserts your conclusion about (i.e. takes a position regarding) the
subject.
Unrevised: Dorothy Parker’s “Résumé” uses images of suicide to make her point about
living.
Revised: In “Résumé,” Dorothy Parker subverts the idea of what a résumé is—
accomplishments and experiences—with an ironic tone, silly images of suicide,
and witty rhymes to point out the banality of life for those who remain too
disengaged from it.
The first thesis is bland because it’s obvious and incontestable. A reader looks at it and says, “So
what?” It merely describes something about the poem. The second tells the reader what the
writer thinks the poem is about, offering a reading or interpretation.
A thesis should also be roadmap or blueprint for your project. The revised example above refers
to particular poetic devices in a way that gets beyond merely saying there are poetic devices in
the poem and describing them. It makes a claim as to how and why the poet uses tone, imagery
and rhyme.
Sweeping Generalizations
Faulty logic can make readers mistrust you as a writer. For instance, if you make sweeping
generalizations, your audience would be right to wonder what evidence led you to those
conclusions. Without any explanation or evidence, your claims will simply be dismissed, risking
your integrity and the integrity of your work. Beware, then, of the trap of words like “all,”
“every,” “only,” “never,” and “always.”
Introductions
By providing an introduction that helps your readers make a transition between their own world
and the issues you will be addressing, you give them the tools they need to get into and care
about your topic. A vague, disorganized, error-filled, off-the-wall, or boring introduction will
probably create a negative impression. On the other hand, a concise, engaging, and well-done
introduction will start your readers off thinking highly of you, your analytical skills, and your
essay. Your introduction is also an important road map for the rest of your essay. You can let
your readers know what your topic is, why it is important, and how you plan to proceed with
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your discussion. Finally, your introduction should capture your readers’ interest, making them
want to read the rest of your essay. Opening with a compelling story, a fascinating quotation, an
interesting question, or a stirring example can help your readers understand why this topic
matters, and can serve as an invitation for them to join you for an interesting intellectual
conversation after reading your essay.
Conclusions
Your conclusion provides a bridge to help your readers make the transition back to their daily
lives. Such a conclusion will help them see why your analysis should matter to them after they
finish reading your essay. More than just a mere summary, your conclusion allows you to have
the final say on the issues you have raised in your essay, to demonstrate the importance of your
ideas, and to propel your reader to a new view of the subject. It is also your opportunity to make
a good final impression, allowing you to consider broader issues, make new connections, and
elaborate on the significance of your findings. Your conclusion should make your read glad they
read your essay, because it gives them something to take away that will help them see things
differently or appreciate your topic in personally relevant ways. In summation, a good
conclusion: communicates the significance of the essay; goes beyond mere summary, and
creatively reiterates your thesis; propels your audience toward a new view on the subject; and
considers and makes connections to broader issues/implications.
Sentence Construction
Sentence Openings
Eliminate unnecessary sentence openings.
Unrevised: It is my opinion that fast-food restaurants should post nutritional information for
each menu item.
Revised: Fast-food restaurants should post nutritional information for each menu item.
Sentence Variety
There are four basic types of sentences: simple, compound, complex, and compound-complex.
Each type consists of one or more clauses. Simple sentences contain one independent clause;
compound sentences contain two or more independent clauses; complex sentences contain one or
more dependent clauses joined to one independent clause; and compound-complex sentences
contain one or more dependent clauses and two or more independent clauses.
Use simple sentences for emphasis and clarity. A simple sentence contains only one independent
clause, but it is not necessarily short. However, if you use too many simple sentences, your
writing will be choppy and disjointed.
Simple:
Credit card fraud is increasing in the United States.
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Use compound sentences to clarify relationships and to join ideas of equal importance. You can
also use compound sentences to explain how ideas are related.
Compound:
Credit card fraud is increasing in the United States; it is a violation
of financial privacy.
Use complex sentences to show subordinate relationships.
Complex:
Because credit card fraud is increasing in America, consumers must
become more cautious.
Use compound-complex sentences to express complicated relationships. However, when
overused, they tend to make your writing sound wordy and labored.
Compound-Complex: Because credit card fraud is increasing in America, consumers must
be cautious, and retailers must take steps to protect consumers.
Voice
Needless shifts between active voice and passive voice can disorient readers and create wordy
sentences.
Unrevised: One group of volunteers was given a placebo, and the researchers treated another
group with the new drug.
Revised: The researchers gave one group of volunteers a placebo, and they treated another
group with the new drug.
Mood
Mood indicates whether the sentence states a fact or asks a question (indicative mood), gives a
command or direction (imperative mood), or expresses a condition contrary to the fact, a wish, or
a suggestion (subjunctive mood). The subjunctive mood is also used for hypothetical situations
or impossible or unlikely events.
Unrevised:
Revised:
You shouldn’t expect to learn ballroom dancing immediately, and remember
that even Fred Astaire had to start somewhere. First, find a qualified instructor.
Then, you should not be embarrassed even if everyone else seems more graceful
than you are. Finally, keep your goal in mind, and you need to practice,
practice, practice.
Don’t expect to learn ballroom dancing immediately, and remember that even
Fred Astaire had to start somewhere. First, find a qualified instructor. Then,
don’t be embarrassed if everyone else seems more graceful than you are.
Finally, keep your goal in mind, and practice, practice, practice.
Sentence Fragments
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A sentence fragment is a group of words that cannot stand alone as a complete sentence. A
sentence fragment can be revised by attaching it to a nearby sentence or by rewriting the
fragment as a complete sentence.
Unrevised: You look nice. Especially your hair.
Revised: You look nice. Your hair is especially pretty.
Phrases and Clauses
Eliminate unnecessary phrases and clauses.
Unrevised: The complaints of students in the college encouraged the dean to create
additional parking spaces for cars.
Revised: The students’ encouraged the dean to create additional parking.
Mixed Constructions
A mixed construction is a sentence containing parts that do not sensibly fit together. In order to
avoid this error, make subjects and predicates consistent. For example, avoid “is when,” “is
where,” “the reason is because.”
Unrevised: Indigestion is when you cannot digest food.
Revised: Indigestion is the inability to digest food.
Faulty Predication
Faulty predication occurs when a subject does not work grammatically with its predicate.
Unrevised: The most valued trait in an employee is a person who is loyal.
Revised: The most valued trait in an employee is loyalty.
Parallelism
Parallelism means that similar ideas in a sentence are expressed in similar grammatical form. It
means balancing words with words, phrases with phrases, and clauses with clauses. Use
parallelism to make your sentences flow smoothly and your thoughts easy to follow.
Unrevised: The horse was large, had a bony frame, and it was friendly.
Revised: The horse was large, bony, and friendly.
Unrevised: Maria enjoys swimming and drag races cars.
Revised: Maria enjoys swimming and drag racing.
In each pair, the revised sentences sound better because they are balanced grammatically.
“Large,” “bony,” and “friendly” are all adjectives. “Swimming” and “drag racing” are nouns
ending in –ing.
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Paragraph Construction
Topic Sentences
Topic sentences should tell the reader precisely what to expect in the paragraph. They should be
focused, stating exactly what the paragraph will explain. Avoid vague and general statements.
Unrevised: Some members of minority groups do not approve of affirmative action.
Revised: Some members of minority groups disapprove of affirmative action because it
implies that they are not capable of obtaining employment based on their own
accomplishments.
Development
In any carefully constructed essay, paragraphs are not just careless groups of sentences about a
common topic; a thoughtfully constructed paragraph builds upon the foundation laid by the
thesis and works in harmony with the other paragraphs. Each paragraph should serve a specific
purpose related to the thesis—to explain a relevant idea, provide background information, argue
a supporting point, or offer a counterargument. A paragraph that does not serve any of these
purposes may be unnecessary. Avoid rambling that distracts your audience from the focus or
purpose of the essay and weakens the logical flow of the argument. To avoid unnecessary fillers,
include only relevant information that meaningfully supports the thesis. Also, examine the theme
in each paragraph to ensure that you do not repeat a point that has already been discussed. If
redundancy is an issue, include only paragraphs that make the point with clarity and concision.
The most relevant material from two similar paragraphs may also be combined to reduce
redundancy. In addition, while the connection between a paragraph and the thesis may be clear to
you, your audience may not be able to find the link. The point of each paragraph and its
relationship to the thesis should be clearly implied or directly stated. If the paragraph is
addressing a sub-point or an idea that is more subtly related to the thesis, make the relationship
clear. In summation, a well-developed essay: only contains ideas that are essential to the
understanding of the argument/thesis; makes clear—implicitly or explicitly—the intended point
of each paragraph; and contains ideas that are clearly connected—implicitly or explicitly—to the
other ideas in the essay.
Underdeveloped Paragraph
Capital punishment is wrong for several reasons. It’s not right to kill another person. If
someone kills another person, he or she should be given life in prison without parole. This
sentence is probably worse than capital punishment. It may be more costly for society, but it’s
the right thing to do.
This paragraph offers several statements of opinion, but it does not provide evidence in support
of those opinions. Why should a murderer be given life imprisonment? Why is a life sentence
worse than capital punishment? Why is imprisonment for life more costly and the right thing to
do? As is often true of underdeveloped paragraphs, this paragraph contains several broad topics,
each of which should be expanded into several paragraphs. Work on developing your paragraphs
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so that they support your thesis with well-focused topic sentences that are supported by specific
details, examples, definitions, explanations, or other evidence.
Organization
When ideas are developed in some sort of order, your audience can understand them more easily.
The information in your essay will be easier to understand, discuss, and remember. In addition, if
you choose a clear, recognizable pattern for each paragraph and your essay overall, you will find
it easier to select details and choose transitions, and you will also help your audience to discover
relationships that connect things and make things seem more coherent. In summation, a wellorganized essay: illustrates a clear and recognizable pattern for the overall project; illustrates a
clear and recognizable pattern for each paragraph; contains effective transitions between all ideas
within each paragraph; and contains effective transitions in the overall essay.
Transitions
All of the details in a paragraph must fit together and function as a connected unit of information.
When a paragraph has coherence, its ideas flow smoothly, allowing readers to follow their
progression with ease. Transitions are words or phrases that lead your reader from one idea to
another. In the two examples that follow, notice that the first paragraph is disjointed and choppy
because it lacks transitions, whereas the revised version with transitions is easier to follow.
Without Transitions
Most films are structured much like a short story. The film begins with an opening scene
that captures the audience’s attention. The writers build up tension, preparing for the climax of
the story. They complicate the situation by revealing other elements of the plot, perhaps by
introducing a surprise or additional characters. They introduce a problem. It will be solved
either for the betterment or to the detriment of the characters and the situation. A resolution
brings the film to a close.
With Transitions
Most films are structured much like a short story. The film begins with an opening scene
that captures the audience’s attention. Gradually, the writers build up tension, preparing for the
climax of the story. Soon after the first scene, they complicate the situation by revealing other
elements of the plot, perhaps by introducing a surprise or additional characters. Next, they
introduce a problem. Eventually, the problem will be solved either for the betterment or to the
detriment of the characters and the situation. Finally, a resolution brings the film to a close.
Paragraph Unity
In a unified paragraph, all of the sentences in the paragraph directly support the topic sentence.
Together they provide adequate and convincing evidence for the assertion in the topic sentence.
The following sample paragraph lacks unity. As you read it, try to pick out the sentences that do
not support the topic sentence, which is underlined.
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Paragraph Lacking Unity
Much of the violence we see in the world today may be caused by the emphasis on
violence in the media. (2) More often than not, the front page of the local newspaper contains
stories involving violence. (3) In fact, one recent issue of my local newspaper contained seven
references to violent acts. (4) There is also violence in public school systems. (5) Television
reporters frequently hasten to crime and accident scenes and film every grim, violent detail. (6)
The other day, there was a drive-by shooting downtown. (7) If the media were a little more
careful about the ways in which they glamorize violence, there might be less violence in the
world today and children would be less influenced by it.
Although sentences 4 and 6 deal with the broad topic of violence, neither is directly related to the
main point about the media promoting violence that is stated in the topic sentence. Both should
be deleted.
Tone
Tone refers to how you sound to your readers and how you feel about your topic. Your word
choice should be consistent with your tone. There are three common levels of diction: formal,
popular, and informal. The formal level of diction is serious and dignified. Think of it as the kind
of language that public officials use. Formal diction is often written in the third person, tends to
include long sentences and multisyllabic words, and contains no slang or contractions.
It is of great importance in a republic, not only to guard the society against the oppression of
its rulers, but to guard one part of the society against the injustice of the other part. Different
interests necessarily exist in different classes of citizens. If a majority be united by a
common interest, the rights of the minority will be insecure.
—James Madison, The Federalist, No. 51
Popular or casual diction is common in magazines and newspapers. It sounds more
conversational and personal than formal diction. Contractions may be used, and sentences tend to
be shorter and less varied than in formal diction. The first person or second person may be used.
Add Joe Camel to the list of extinct species. After a 10-year run in which he has been
everything from marketing tool extraordinaire to anti-smoking-lobby lightning rod, tobacco
giant R. J. Reynolds has already decided to end the ad campaign featuring the cartoon
dromedary.
—Jason Vest, “Joe Camel Walks His Last Mile”
Informal diction, also known as colloquial language, is the language of everyday speech and
conversation. It is friendly and casual. Contractions, sentence fragments, and first person and
second person pronouns are all common in informal diction.
This guy in my history class is a candidate for the Hall of Fame of Annoying People. He
drives us crazy. He doesn’t allow anybody to have a real conversation. I mean, this guy
interrupts constantly. He’s brutal!
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Word Choice
Diction
Use a consistent level of diction, which can range from formal to informal. Which diction you
use should depend on the audience engaging your work. If your audience is a group of young
adults, informal diction may very well be appropriate. However, if your audience is a group of
college professors, you may want to adopt a more formal diction.
Unrevised: She said the dumbest stuff I’ve ever heard.
Revised: Her comment was illogical and uninformed
Point of View
Revise shifts in point of view by referring to yourself, your audience, and the people you are
writing about in a consistent way.
Unrevised: I discovered that you could touch some of the museum exhibits.
Revised: I discovered that I could touch some of the museum exhibits.
Denotation and Connotation
Many words have two levels of meaning—a denotative meaning and a connotative meaning. A
word’s denotation is its precise dictionary definition. A word’s connotation is the collection of
feelings and attitudes the word evokes, its emotional colorings or shades of meaning. For
example, the denotative meaning of “mother is “woman parent.” One common connotation of
“mother” is “a warm, caring person.” Since the connotations of words can elicit a wide range of
responses, be sure the words you choose convey only the meanings you intend. In each pair of
words that follows, notice that the two words have a similar denotation but different
connotations:
artificial/fake
firm/stubborn
lasting/endless
Subject-Verb Agreement
Person refers to “I” or “we” (first person), “you” (second person), or “he,” “she,” “it,” and “they”
(third person). Number shows whether a word refers to one thing (singular) or more than one
thing (plural). Subjects and verbs need to be consistent in person and number: I drive, you drive,
and she drives.
Unrevised: There’s several people who can attest to my attendance in class.
Revised: There are several people who can attest to my attendance in class.
Verb Tense
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Maintain consistency in verb tense, unless the meaning requires you to change tenses. Only
change verb tense when you want to indicate an actual time change.
Unrevised: The virus mutated so quickly that it develops a resistance to most vaccines.
Revised: The virus mutated so quickly that it developed a resistance to most vaccines.
Pronouns
Pronoun Case
Pronouns have three cases: subjective, objective, or possessive. A pronoun’s case indicates its
function in a sentence. When a pronoun functions as a subject, the subjective case (“I”) is used.
When a pronoun functions as a direct object, an indirect object, or an object of a preposition, the
objective case (“me”) is used. When a pronoun indicates ownership, the possessive case
(“mine”) is used.
Unrevised: Yolanda and me graduated from high school last year.
Revised: Yolanda and I graduated from high school last year.
Regarding the “Unrevised” sentence, if you mentally delete “Yolanda and,” the sentence is: Me
graduated from high school last year. Regarding the “Revised” sentence, if you mentally delete
“Yolanda and,” the sentence is: I graduated from high school last year.
Unrevised: The leader is him.
Revised: The leader is he.
Regarding the “Unrevised” sentence, if you substitute “him” for “the leader,” the sentence is:
Him is the leader. Regarding the “Revised” sentence, if you substitute “he” for “the leader,” the
sentence is: He is the leader.
Pronoun Reference
A pronoun should refer clearly to its antecedent, the noun or pronoun it substitutes. If an
antecedent is missing or unclear, the meaning of the sentence is also unclear.
Unrevised: The oldies radio station battled the pop rock station for the highest ratings.
Eventually, it won.
Revised: Eventually, the pop rock station won.
Pronoun-Antecedent Agreement
Pronouns and antecedents must agree in person, number, and gender. The most common
agreement error occurs when pronouns and antecedents do not agree in number.
Unrevised: Each of the experiments produced their desired result.
Revised: Each of the experiments produced its desired result.
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When revising pronoun-antecedent agreement errors, be sure to use singular pronouns to refer to
indefinite pronouns that are singular in meaning (everybody, another, anywhere, nothing, other,
etc.).
Use a singular or plural pronouns to refer to a collective noun, depending on the meaning:
The wolf pack surrounds its quarry.
After the false alarm, the bomb squad returned to their homes.
Use a plural pronoun to refer to a compound antecedent joined by “and.” However, when the
singular antecedents joined by “and” refer to the same person, place, or thing, use a singular
pronoun:
The walrus and the carpenter ate their oysters greedily.
As a father and a husband, he is a success.
Modifiers
A modifier is a word or group of words that describes, changes, qualifies, or limits the meaning
of another word or group of words in a sentence. Modifiers that are carefully placed give your
readers a clear picture of the details you want to convey. However, when a sentence contains a
misplaced modifier, it is hard for the reader to tell which word or group of words the modifier is
supposed to be describing. Hence, you should place modifiers close to the words they describe.
Unrevised: The mayor chided the pedestrians for jaywalking angrily.
Revised: The mayor angrily chided the pedestrians for jaywalking.
Dangling Modifiers
A dangling modifier is a word or phrase that does not modify or refer to anything in a sentence.
Instead, it seems to modify something that has been left out of the sentence. A dangling modifier
can make the meaning of the sentence unclear, inaccurate, or even comical. Most dangling
modifiers appear at the beginning or end of sentences.
Unrevised: After singing a thrilling aria, the crowd surged toward the stage.
Revised: After Pavarotti sang a thrilling aria, the crowd surged toward the stage.
Adjectives and Adverbs
Adjectives modify nouns or pronouns and indicate which one, what kind, or how many. Adverbs
modify verbs, adjectives, other verbs, clauses, or entire sentences, and indicate how, when,
where, how often, or to what extent. The two most common errors involving adjectives and
adverbs occur when writers use an adjective instead of an adverb (or vice versa) and the wrong
form of an adjective or adverb in a comparison. Be sure to eliminate unnecessary adverbs.
Unrevised: The journalist was very elated when he learned that he had won a Pulitzer Prize.
Revised: The journalist was elated when he learned that he had won a Pulitzer Prize.
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Subordinating Conjunctions
When you use “whereas,” “while,” “although,” “though,” or “even though” in a dependent
clause, do not use “but” before the independent clause.
Unrevised: Although a smile shows happiness in most culture, but in some it may be a sign
of embarrassment.
Revised: Although a smile shows happiness in most culture, in some it may be a sign of
embarrassment.
When you use “because” or “since” in a dependent clause, do not use so in the independent
clause.
Unrevised: Because Rudolf Nureyev defected from Russia, so for many years he could not
return to dance in his native country.
Revised: Because Rudolf Nureyev defected from Russia, for many years he could not
return to dance in his native country.
Revised: Rudolf Nureyev defected from Russia, so for many years he could not return to
dance in his native country.
“Because” and “because of” are not interchangeable. “Because” is a conjunction. “Because of” is
a two-word preposition followed by a noun or a pronoun.
Because snow peas die in hot weather, you should plant them early in the spring.
Because of the hot weather, the peas did not grow well.
Language
Specific words convey much more information than general words. Concrete words add life and
meaning to your writing. In each of the following sentence pairs, notice how the underlined
words in the first sentence provide little information, whereas the underlined words in the second
sentence provide interesting details and add meaning.
Unrevised: Our vacation was great fun.
Revised: Our rafting trip was filled with adventure.
Unrevised: The red flowers were blooming in our yard.
Revised: Crimson and white petunias were blooming in our yard.
Figures of Speech
A figure of speech is a comparison that makes sense imaginatively or creatively, but not literally.
Fresh and imaginative figures of speech can help you create vivid images for your readers.
However, overused figures of speech can detract from your essay. Be sure to avoid common
clichés (trite or overused expressions) such as “blind as a bat” or “sick as a dog.” Although there
are many kinds of figures of speech, the most useful types are simile, metaphor, and
personification.
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In a simile, the word “like” or “as” is used to make a direct comparison of two unlike things:
The child acts like a tiger.
A metaphor also makes a comparison of unlike things, but a metaphor does not use “like” or
“as.” Instead, the comparison is implied.
That child is a tiger.
Personification describes an idea or object by giving it human qualities or characteristics.
A sailboat, or any other pleasure vehicle, devours money.
Wordiness
Avoid wordy expressions.
Unrevised: In the near future, another revolution in computer technology is most certainly
bound to occur. [15 words]
Revised: Another revolution in computer technology is bound to occur. [9 words]
Unrevised: I wrote a draft of my essay in just three hours last night.
Revised: I drafted my essay in just three hours.
This is especially important when you have space constraints for your work. However, this is
also important to remember, because wordiness distracts readers from your most important ideas.
Redundancy
Eliminate redundancy.
Unrevised: My decision to choose the field of accounting as my major will lead to steady,
rewarding employment.
Revised: Choosing accounting as my major will lead to steady, rewarding employment.
Who and Whom
“Who” and “whoever” are subjective pronouns. Use “who” or “whoever” when the pronoun
functions as the subject of a sentence. “Whom” and “whomever” are in the objective case. Use
whom or whomever when the pronoun functions as the object of a verb or preposition. To decide
whether to use who or whom in a question, answer the question yourself by using the words he or
him or she or her. If you use he or she in the answer, you should use who in the question. If you
use him or her in the answer, use whom in the question.
Unrevised: Mrs. Dimwit consulted an astrologer who she met in Seattle.
Revised: Mrs. Dimwit consulted an astrologer whom she met in Seattle.
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Check:
She met him in Seattle.
Unrevised: Who can we turn to in a time of crisis?
Revised: Whom can we turn to in a time of crisis?
Check:
Can we turn to her?
Gender Bias
Be sure to avoid gender bias, heavily relying on either “he” or “she” to refer to a general person
whose gender is not specified.
Unrevised: When a person loses his car keys, he usually gets more angry than necessary.
Revised: When people lose their car keys, they usually get more angry than necessary.
Punctuation
Commas
Comma Splices and Run-On (Fused) Sentences
A comma splice occurs when two or more independent clauses are joined with a comma but
without a coordinating conjunction (and, or, but, etc.):
A television addict is dependent on television, I have suffered this for years.
A run-on (or fused) sentence occurs when two or more independent clauses are joined without
punctuation or a coordinating conjunction:
A television addict is dependent on television I have suffered this for years.
There are a number of ways you can revise comma splices and run-on sentences. You may
combine them with a comma and a coordinating conjunction:
A television addict is dependent on television, and I have been one for years.
You may separate them by adding a period and starting a new sentence:
A television addict is dependent on television. I have been one for years.
You may also combine them by adding a semicolon:
A television addict is dependent on television; I have been one for years.
Comma splices can also be revised by making one clause dependent or turning one clause into a
phrase:
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I have been a television addict for years, dependent on television.
Appositive Phrases
Use commas to clarify an appositive phrase (a phrase that renames or gives additional
information about a prior noun or pronoun). If the phrase were omitted, readers might lose some
interesting details but would still be able to understand the message.
Unrevised: She loves her car a red Toyota.
Revised: She loves her car, a red Toyota.
Introductory Elements
An introductory element is a dependent clause (a phrase that cannot stand alone as a complete
sentence), phrase, or word that precedes and introduces an independent clause (a phrase that can
stand alone as a complete sentence). In most cases, a comma should separate the introductory
element from the independent clause:
In every taste test, the subjects chose the new flavor over the old.
To do the job properly, they need more time.
After one word or a short phrase, the comma is sometimes omitted:
Immediately the fun began.
Restrictive and Nonrestrictive Clauses
When a phrase or clause provides extra information that could be omitted without changing the
meaning of the independent clause, the phrase or clause is said to be nonrestrictive. Use commas
to clarify a nonrestrictive element. Doing so signals that the extra information it presents does
not limit the meaning of the independent clause:
We’ll attend, even though we’d rather not.
The point of the sentence is that “we” will definitely attend. The “even though” does not restrict
the meaning.
A phrase or clause that limits or restricts the meaning of the independent clause is said to be
restrictive. Do not use commas with restrictive clauses:
We’ll attend if we have time.
The point of the sentence is that “we” will attend only if circumstances permit. The “if” clause
restricts the meaning.
Transitional Expressions and Conjunctive Adverbs
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Transitional expressions and conjunctive adverbs (however, therefore, nonetheless, above all, of
course, or in fact, etc.) connect ideas in your writing and act as signposts for readers. Use
commas to clarify a transitional expression from the rest of the sentence:
Most Labrador retrievers, however, are courageous.
When you use a transitional expression at the beginning of an independent clause, end the
previous clause with a period or semicolon. Then place a comma after the transitional
expression:
Unrevised: The party was a success, in fact it was still going on at 2 am.
Revised: The party was a success. In fact, it was still going on at 2 am.
Revised: The party was a success; in fact, it was still going on at 2 am.
Additional Comma Usage
You may sometimes choose to insert a phrase or a clause to make a comment, offer an
explanation, substantiate a point, or to identify a contrast. Insertions used for these purposes are
clarified by commas:
Unrevised: The consequences will be dire I think.
Revised: The consequences will be dire, I think.
Unrevised: The best if not the only solution is to apologize and start over.
Revised: The best, if not the only, solution is to apologize and start over.
Dialogue
Use a comma between the dialogue and the tag line (the words used to identify the speaker: “he
said/she said”):
“I would like to go to the beach this weekend,” she told him as they left the apartment.
Periods and commas should be placed inside the quotation marks.
“I don’t want any stupid cake,” says the guy who goes to Europe and the Middle East.
“Where’s the champagne?” he says, and laughs.
Other punctuation—semicolons, question marks, dashes, and exclamation points—are placed
outside of quotation marks, unless they directly pertain to the material within the quotes:
Did he say, “We should all go to the movies”?
Also note that the sentence ends with only one mark of punctuation, the question mark. In
general, don’t use double punctuation marks—choose the stronger punctuation. For example,
question marks and exclamation points are stronger than commas and periods. Think of it as a
game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, if that helps.
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When a tag line interrupts a sentence, it should be set off by commas. Note that the first letter of
the second half of the sentence is in lower case.
“That is,” Wesley said, “that neither you nor me is her boyfriend.”
To signal a quotation within a quotation, use single quotes:
“Have you read ‘Hills Like White Elephants’ yet?” he asked her.
Colons and Semi-Colons
When the second clause of two independent clauses (clauses that can stand alone as complete
sentences) explains, elaborates, or illustrates the first, you can use a colon to join the clauses.
Unrevised: This year’s team is surprisingly inexperienced, seven of the players are juniors,
and six are sophomores.
Revised: This year’s team is surprisingly inexperienced: seven of the players are juniors,
and six are sophomores.
When the second independent clause conveys the main point of the sentence, some writers
capitalize the first word after the semicolon:
My mother gave me one important piece of advice: Never wear plaids with stripes.
Such capitalization is optional; a lowercase letter after the colon is always correct.
Use semicolons to join two closely related independent clauses
Unrevised: A television addict is dependent on television I have suffered this for years.
Revised: A television addict is dependent on television; I have been one for years.
Semicolons may also be used with commas and subordinating conjunctions (however, therefore,
subsequently, etc.) to join two closely related independent clauses.
Unrevised: Sometimes I like to wash the dishes however I prefer to use a dishwasher.
Revised: Sometimes I like to wash the dishes; however, I prefer to use a dishwasher.
Dashes
When you are introducing an explanation, an example, or a list of ideas, you may choose the
dash in order to avoid overuse of the comma.
Unrevised: The snake was lying uncoiled on the ground, not prepared to strike, not out to
kill the man.
Revised: The snake was lying uncoiled on the ground—not prepared to strike, not out to
kill the man.