King Malcolm’s Horoscope
R.I.P Lady Macbeth?
By Katie B
By Emily M
The late queen, Lady Macbeth (aged 35) born 20th June
1001 and died at 1:23pm yesterday. She was sleeping as
usual, her afternoon nap, and sadly slept walked off the
castle wall. But do we weep for our dead monarchy?
Her ladies-in-waiting report that not only our king saw
ghosts at banquets, but our queen used to sleep talk,
and when the doctor called to see what is wrong with
her, he heard her muttering "yet who would have
thought the old man to have had so much blood in him."
and (probably to her husband) "I tell you yet again,
Banquo's buried; he cannot come out on's grave." Does
this mean that she and her treacherous husband
plotted and killed both Duncan and Banquo???
Malcolm's horoscope
Aries March 21 – April 19
Your friends and family are supporting
you the whole way as you start your
new job. You will be extremely
successful and your heirs will carry on
the job after you for many
generations. Your loved ones are very
excited for you but expect too much
of you. Do not overwork yourself but
still try your best.
Now that Jupiter and Venus are
aligned, you shall have a special
occasion coming up, bigger than a
birthday but, something like a
wedding or a coronation. This is a
good omen and you should be
rejoicing. Make the most of this before
the battle of your life comes into play.
Watch out for when a close friend
becomes too powerful over your life
and company. This should be put to a
halt immediately.
Macbeth: Terminated
By Katie B
What happened yesterday is, for the public, still a slight muddle. But
now we know, as we got a personal interview with Macduff, our new
Earl of Fife. He explained that Malcolm's army covered themselves in
branches, to make it look like the forest was moving and they couldn't
be seen. Then they attacked and Macduff had a private dual with
Macbeth. It lasted for exactly half an hour with Macduff winning in the
end. A blood splattered Macbeth was left, dead and that was the last
anyone saw of him, Macduff told us.
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