Flexibility
Discretion

• onsider•
C
Reactions

Choose•Words•
Carefully

Check•My•Attitude

Mind•My•Manners

Learn•From•My•
Critics
No Matter
2
Quotes
2
How You Say
It
2
Quotes
3
Curriculum
Connection
33
Model
4
TeamBuilding
Activity
44
Crosky’s
Robin’s
Corner
Reading List
8
5
Character
in the
in the
Classroom
Classroom
Continuously
Continuously
2 0 1 1
4
3
that could bring undesirable consequences
•••••At•
first•
glance,•
discretion•may•seem•like•a•
difficult•topic•to•teach•but•if•
you•spend•some•time•with•
the• “I• •Wills”• you• will•wish•
you• had• more• than• a•
month• to• teach• it.• • The•
following•
topics•
are•
natural• extensions• of•
discretion:• • Forethought• -•
think• before• you• act;•
gossip;• critical• thinking,•
decision-making,•
manners,• courtesy• and•
etiquette;• importance• of•
attitude;• criticism• -• how• to•
give• and• receive;• looking•
at•the•bigger•picture;•reap•
what•you•sow...
and• famous• or• those• in•
•••••We•each•have•attained•
wisdom• from• our• parents,•• positions• of• power• or•
leadership.• How• many•
teachers,• mentors,• elders,•
times• has• a• single•
peers• as• well• as• from• our•
careless• comment• in•
experience.• • In• any• given•
public•ended•a•career?•
situation,•we•usually•know•
how• to• act• or• how• to•
respond•appropriately.••It’s•
#!&4*(@@
when• we• get• ahead• of•
ourselves• and• respond• or•
act•before•checking•in•with•
our•gathered•wisdom,•that•
•••••This•
month,•
let’s•
we• get• ourselves• into•
practice• the• art• of• slowing•
undesirable•
our•response•so•that•there•
consequences.
Go
to the
Root
is• time•
to• consider•
the•
•••••One• only• has• to• read•
consequences• of• our•
the• newspaper• to• see•
words,•
actions•
and•
many•
examples•
of•
attitudes.
indiscretions• by• the• rich•
This monthly Character Bulletin is a FREE resource from
the Character Council of Greater Cincinnati and N.
Kentucky.
During this month of
can you help us bloom
4
with a donation?
Visit our website
www.charactercincinnat.org
9
6
IN THIS ISSUE
Corner
Character
A U GM
U A
S T
Y
Recognizing and avoiding words, actions, and attitudes
FEATURES
CEO
MONTHLY EDUCATOR BULLETIN
Vs. Simplemindedness
I WILL
Family
Crosky’s
Activity
Character… It starts with me!
10
7
11
Just Say No
5
The Doughnut of Discretion; Discretionary Spending; eDiscretion; The
Age of Discretion
6
Discretion and Peer Pressure; From Problems to Positives; Washington’s
Rules
7
No Matter How You Say It
Discreción
vs. Simpleza
Reconocer y evitar palabras,
acciones y actitudes
que pudieran traer
consecuencias indeseables
Go to the Root
Discretion• comes• from• the• Latin• word,•
discretionem,•which•means•“the•power•to•
distinguish,• to• separate”.• Can• you• see•
how• we• each• have• the• power• to• be•
discreet?
Idioms
Be the soul of discretion to be good at not talking about things that
other people want to keep secret
At one’s discretion refers to the discretion that each of us owns and
controls
Throw discretion to the wind to disregard the rules of discretion
and do something anyway
See www.thefreedictionary.com
P AGE
“People will accept your idea
much more readily if you tell
them Benjamin Franklin said
it first.” -David H. Comins
“The better part of valor is
discretion, in the which better part I
have saved my life.”
William Shakespeare
“Whoever gossips to you will
gossip about you.”
Spanish Proverb
“Do not repeat anything you will
not sign your name to.”
Unknown
“Nothing is more dangerous than a
friend without discretion; even a
prudent enemy is preferable.”
Jean de La Fontaine
“Never wrestle with a strong man
nor bring a rich man to court.”
Latvian Proverb
“Definition of Mentor: Someone
whose hindsight can become your
foresight”
Unknown
“Remember the divine saying, He
that keepeth his mouth, keepeth his
life.”
Sir Walter Raleigh
“Trying to squash a rumor is like
trying to unring a bell.”
Shana Alexander
“A sound discretion is not so much
indicated by never making a
mistake as by never repeating it.”
Christian Nestell Bovee
Character Quotables
“In today's complex and
fast-moving world, what
we need even more than
foresight or hindsight is
insight”
Unknown
“A closed mouth catches no flies.”
French Proverb
“Manners are a sensitive awareness
of the feelings of others. If you
have that awareness, you have good
manners, no matter which fork you
use.”
Emily Post
“None I find it's as hard to live
down an early triumph as an early
indiscretion.”
Edna St. Vincent Millay
“Vengeance has no foresight”
Napoleon Bonaparte
“What you don't see with your eyes,
don't witness with your mouth.”
Jewish Proverb
"I have never been hurt by anything
I didn't say."
President Calvin Coolidge
“Hindsight explains the injury that
foresight would have prevented”
Unknown
“Attitudes are contagious.
Are
yours worth catching?”
Dennis and Wendy Mannering
“Great is our admiration of the
orator who speaks with fluency and
discretion”
Marcus Tullius Cicero
“Judgment is not upon all occasions
required, but discretion always is.”
Philip Stanhope
“What is told in the ear of a man is
often heard 100 miles away.”
Chinese Proverb
“Look before you leap.”
Curriculum Connection
What•better•scientist•to•teach•predicting•the•
consequences• of• actions• than• Sir• Isaac•
Newton• and• his• conclusion:• • “For• every•
action,• there• is• an• equal• and• opposite•
reaction”.•••When•applying•this•theory•to•our•
actions,• discretion• requires• us• to• consider•
the• full• force• of• our• actions,• not• just• the•
initial•reaction.
Idiom
Science
3
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Thomas Jefferson - Model of Discretion
Thomas•
Jefferson•
practiced• great• foresight• in•
his• many• accomplishments•
during•the•birth•of•our•nation.••
His•
carefully•
worded•
Declaration•of•Independence•
demonstrated•great• ability• to•
look• ahead• to• how• the•
colonies• could• become• a•
great•nation.••
In• 1786,• he• was•
proud• when• the• Virginia•
House• of• Representatives•
passed•
his•
Bill•
for•
Establishing•
Religious•
Freedom.••He•helped•to•plan•
the• city• of• Washington• and•
was• the• first• President• to• be•
inaugurated• there.• • While• in•
office• as• the• third• President•
of• the• United• States,• he•
determined• that• purchasing•
the•port•at•New•Orleans•from•
France•
would•
be•
advantageous•
to•
the•
fledgling• nation• and• so• the•
Louisiana• Purchase• was•
negotiated.•It•was•his•idea•to•
send• Lewis• and• Clark• to•
explore• the• new• territory.•
After• leaving• office,•
he• devoted• himself• to•
building• a• public• university.•
He• was• 82• when• the•
University•of•Virginia•opened•
its• doors• in• 1825.• • When•
Jefferson• died• in• 1826,• he•
had• written• this• for• his•
tombstone:• • “Author• of• the•
Declaration•of•Independence•
and•of•the•Statute•of•Virginia•
for• Religious• Freedom,• and•
Father• of• the• University• of•
Virginia.”• to• Jefferson’s• use•
of• discretion• in• his• political•
career,• we• have• a• firm•
foundation•for•our•country.
Team-Building Activity
Building a culture of good character requires building the class
into a community. Here is this month’s teambuilding activity:
With a Song in Your Heart
Ask• the• group• to• name• some• songs• that• were• written• about•
places.• • After• they• have• named• several,• explain• that• people•
write•songs•about•places•that•mean•something•to•them.••It•may•
be• where• they• met• someone• special• or• did• something• totally•
new.• • Have• each• student• think• about• places• they• have• been•
that•were•special.••If•your•group•is•not•well-traveled,•encourage•
them• to• pick• a• local• place.• • Have• each• one• of• them• make• up•
with•a•song-title•that•uses•the•name•of•the•place.••On•a•sheet•of•
paper,•they•should•write•the•title•and•decorate•it•as•if•it•were•a•
CD• case.• • Arrange• the• students• in• small• groups• and• let• them•
share• their• song-title• and• the• story• behind• it.• • Make• sure• the•
students• know• they• are• sharing• their• title• before• they• choose• it.• • When• they• are• done•
sharing•they•will•know•something•special•about•their•classmates.
4
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Just Say No!
Anticipating sticky situations and practicing how to say no gives children
confidence that they can exercise discretion. Start out by identifying all of the
situations that students in their age group must make decisions.
From
choosing their clothes in the morning, lunch choices in the cafeteria line, or
who to play with, children make decisions all day long. Have them role play to
practice refusing bad choices. You can also turn it into a contest : Divide the
class into groups and pose situations. See which group can come up with the
most ways to say No. Be sure to include age appropriate situations of
participating in bully behavior, using foul language, cheating, vandalism,
smoking, drugs, alcohol or sex.
Nein
No
Ne
Non
No
いい
Nincs
え
Nr
No
Нет
For some more examples of how to teach refusal skills visit:
http://www.kellybear.com/TeacherArticles/TeacherTip21.html
http://at-risk-youth-support.suite101.com/article.cfm/
top_ten_refusal_skills_for_teens
http://studentservices.brevard.k12.fl.us/Refusal%20Skills%20for%
20Students.htm
5
P AGE
Philosophers•view•discretion•as•the•hole•in•the•
middle•of•the•doughnut.••The•doughnut•itself•is•
a•ring•that•represents•the•black•and•white•rules•
for• any• given• situation.• • The• doughnut• hole•
represents•the•gaps•not•specifically•covered•by•
these• rules.• • Discretion• is• where• we• exercise•
judgment• within• the• ring• of• the• rules• and•
choose•the•best•words•or•actions.••
The Age of Discretion
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Discretionary•Spending
is• items• you• purchase• with•
money• left• over• after• the•
required•purchases•(food,•rent,•
utilities,• etc)• have• been•
covered.••One•look•at•the•state•
of• our• economy• tells• you• that•
this•is•a•lesson•that•many•need•
to• learn.• • Create• an• age•
appropriate•exercise•that•gives•
the•students•the•ability•to•set•a•
budget• based• on• a• limited•
number• of• funds.• • For• older•
students,• you• may• want• them•
to•research•actual•costs.•
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
is used in
both civil and religious law to designate when
an individual is capable of making sound
decisions. For some states it is a given age
and other states it can be determined by a
judge’s discretion.
eDiscretion•
You’ve• heard• stories• of• young• professionals• • ruining• careers•
by•indiscriminate•posting•on•the•social•networking•sites•or•high•
schoolers• blogging• weekend• adventures• for• their• friends’•
benefit• only• to• get• arrested• for• the• activity.• • Now• more• than•
ever• discretion• on• the• internet• including• emails• and• texting•
needs• attention.•• Posts• or• texts• can• be•forwarded• and• shared•
quickly.• • One• must• look• ahead• to• the• consequences• of•
spreading• a• rumor• or• sharing• an• inappropriate• comment• or•
photo• even• if• it• is• with• just• one•
person.• Lead• the• class• in• a•
discussion•
on•
electronic•
communication• discretion• and•
what• to• do• if• they• receive•
something•that•is•inappropriate.
6
P AGE
Discretion
and Peer Pressure
“Don
’t get
suck
ed in
!”
Use•this•activity•to•illustrate•the•consequences•of•"getting•sucked•into•doing•wrong."•Choose•a•large•
glass•bottle•with•a•mouth•just•slightly•smaller•than•a•smoothly•peeled•hard•boiled•egg.•Wad•up•some•
newspaper.••Light•the•paper•at•a•corner•and•drop•it•into•the•bottle.•Quickly•place•the•egg•on•the•neck•
of•the•bottle. The•egg•may•bounce•as•the•air••rushes•out•of•the•bottle.•Once•the•fire•goes•out•the•egg•
will•be•sucked•into•the•bottle•with•a•“pop”.
In• this• demonstration• we• are• the• egg.• The• fire• represents• the•
invitation•to•do•wrong.•Placing•the•egg•in•the•neck•of•the•bottle•
represents•accepting•an•invitation•to•do•wrong.•And,•becoming•
trapped• in• the• bottle• illustrates• the• consequences• of• doing•
wrong.
For•an•explanation•of•the•chemistry•principle•behind•this•lesson••(and•
instructions•on•how•to•get•the•egg•back•out…)•visit••the•following•website:
http://chemistry.about.com/od/chemistrydemonstrations/a/egginabottle.htm
From Problems to Positives
This exercise will demonstrate that your attitude determines how you
look at your life. You can focus on the problems or you can focus on
the positives. Start with a blank piece of paper. Stand in front of the
class and begin to list problems that are age appropriate for your
classroom. For each problem that you list, tear off a piece of the
paper. You want to tear them into pieces no larger than a quarter.
Once you have reduced the paper to a pile of torn pieces, pick up the
pieces and drop them into a small pile saying my life is in shreds.
Then begin to pick up the pieces and hold them in your hand. With
each piece that you pick up, list something that can be positive about
the life of a typical student. Be sure that you do not pick contradictory
things such as losing a parent and having both parents. Once you have
picked up all of the pieces, throw
them up in the air like confetti and
declare life is good! Be sure the
list of things that you name in both
cases can apply to the same child
so that you can demonstrate
focusing on problems or positives.
If we focus on negative, we tend to
attract more of the same.
George
Washington's "
Rules of
Civility and Decent
Behaviour in Company
and Conversation"
When•George•Washington•was•
just•15•years•old•he•wrote•a•list•
of• 110• rules.• • The• manuscript•
has• been• damaged• so• not• all•
of• the• rules• are• complete.••
Here• are• a• few• that• are•
noteworthy:
1• Every• action• done• in• company•
ought• to• be• with• some• sign• of•
respect•to•those•that•are•present.•
56• Associate• yourself• with• men• of•
good•quality•if•you•esteem•your•own•
reputation;• for• 'tis•better•to• be•alone•
than•in•bad•company.•
83• When• you• deliver• a• matter• do• it•
without• passion• and• with• discretion,•
however•mean•the•person•be•you•do•
it•to.•
The•full•list•can•be•found•at:
http://www.history.org/Almanack/life/
manners/rules2.cfm
Select•several•from•the•list•have•the•
students• rewrite• them• in• today’s•
vernacular.
7
P AGE
8
My Xavier class and I regularly have a discussion about research which
indicates that the moral reasoning level of college athletes is lower than for
other people of their age group - and dropping. In one of these discussions,
some of my students felt that this result might be due to the fact that these
people ARE athletes. The thought was that athletes are easy targets for
criticism of their morality because they are in the media spotlight. There was sympathy among my students for
the athletes and other celebrities who are caught on cell phones in public places. The discreetly recorded quotes
and actions can end up on YouTube videos and on the covers of tabloids. Indeed you may at this point be
reminded of recent celebrity comments pleading with the paparazzi not to photograph celebrity children. That
argument says that while celebrities may NEED public interest and popularity in them, their children are
innocent victims. Students even said that it went further; athletes and celebrities were not only targets, but were
actually TARGETED by groupies and wannabes who saw them as a way to make a quick buck or as a path to
fame. Fame seekers? Targets? Targeted? It's hard to judge.
So, is there more indiscreet behavior - or more social media to catch it? In any case you would probably agree that there is
more of what I would call indiscreet behavior showing up in the news lately. Oh sure, Babe Ruth was known for his wild ways. A
later generation Yankee star, Mickey Mantle, had a similar reputation. Robert Mitchum was jailed for possession of marijuana in
the Forties. In times when euphemisms were substituted for frank descriptions, an indiscretion was code for immoral behavior. A
family lawyer might be employed by those with wealth and be assigned the task of handling the consequences of such behavior
discreetly and "keeping the events out of the paper." Well, in 2014, neither public behavior nor the media's handling of it could be
considered discreet. The tabloid shows and publications, websites, and other social media allow indiscreet behavior to become, as
they say, viral. Watch a network sitcom at 8 PM; I never thought I would hear some of those topics on commercial TV.
Indiscreet? Or indecent?
This brings to mind the May Character Quality of the Month - Discretion. Discretion is a word with far-reaching meanings. It
is defined as "Recognizing and avoiding words, actions and attitudes that could bring undesirable consequences." The "I will"
statements are:
"Choose my words carefully;
Practice good manners;
Listen to criticism;
Not make fun of others;
Turn down any invitation to do wrong."
Discretion means to behave in a discreet manner. Popular culture might advise the young to do what you want but keep it
secret. Don't end up on YouTube. But for Character First! Discretion is not a synonym for “secret.” Instead, Discreet means
showing good judgment in actions and speech, but it also can mean knowing when to remain silent. There is also a similar word,
discrete. It means separate from others, distinct. The 2 words share a common Latin root. It might be worthwhile to consider how
we can show our good character by being, at times, silent, and at other times, separate. I am of a mind which says that human
nature has not changed much over the centuries. The strengths and weakness of people in Shakespeare's plays, or even in Greek
tragedies, resonate with us today because we see ourselves in them. The human appetites and passions which could get people
into trouble 2500 years ago are still plaguing us today.
Up until very recently, then, people got themselves into and out of trouble, but they did it discreetly - more or less in private.
That led to a fair amount of lying and hypocrisy. When celebrities did it, they hid their actions from their fans because it was felt
that their success depended upon a clean image. Today, celebrities probably get into about the same amount of trouble as those
who went before them. But, if anything has changed, maybe it's the public's Tolerance (The Character Quality for March) of
Indiscretion. Is the public more accepting, less judgmental? Or, are fans so hungry for fame and the famous that we can put up
with lower character, as long as we get our "fix?"
Learning to judge how to behave used to be easier because exposure was less certain. As privacy is chipped away (or
bulldozed into oblivion?) we are left with learning Discretion in order to avoid behavior which would shame us if exposed. Bu t
manners, the rule book for Discretion, are teachable guidelines to avoid “gotcha” public embarrassment. All this suggests tha t
what parents and teachers are doing to promote manners at home and in school is essential. TV and the Internet in no way
encourage people to be polite. Some families teach manners; others seem not to do so. But manners have their important place: so
much of being polite is being patient. "Sure, I will let you go ahead of me." "Of course, you may serve yourself before me."
"Thank you, but I will wait my turn." "No, I do not believe I am entitled to a larger portion. I want there to be enough for
everyone." Robert Heinlein, the science fiction author, believed that there could be no civilization without politeness. These
polite behaviors and mannerly actions can slow us down and keep us from indiscreet acts.
We worship fame and the famous. It appears that we will continue to do so, no matter how indiscreet their behavior is. But do
we value manners, as a way to becoming more civilized? Perhaps, if we double our efforts to encourage our
Bill Croskey is a school children – and us!- to separate themselves by their good manners, their respect for others, and their civilized
psychologist from the approach, we will encourage them to be discrete, distinct. That behavior will be admired, and they will not
Loveland City Schools have to be discreet.
Corner
Croskey’s
P AGE
For the Family
We are studying the character quality of Discretion: Recognizing and avoiding words, actions, and attitudes
that could bring undesirable consequences.
To practice Discretion I will:





Consider Reactions
Choose Words Carefully
Check My Attitude
Mind My Manners
Learn From My Critics
Family Activity:
Positive Potatoes
For this exercise, each person gets a half of a raw potato. Each family member is to draw a shape into the
center of their potato half. Shapes can be simple hearts, circles, squares or whatever they want. Instruct them
to carve away everything outside of the shape they have carved down to about a 1/2 or so. Each person now
has a potato stamp. Explain that the potato represents their brain. Whatever they expose themselves to will
begin to shape your brain. If you look at things positively, your brain will be trained to look for positive
things. If you focus on negative things, you will begin to see more negative things. Using paints or stamp
pads, use the potatoes to stamp the image on paper. You can trade potatoes and put someone else’s stamp on
your page. When they are done stamping, explain that each potato could only stamp how it had been
formed. That’s why it is important to be careful in what you expose your self to so that your brain gets
formed correctly.
Other ways to teach character in the home:
 Display the character quality and definition in a prominent place such as on the refrigerator or let each
child decorate it for their bedroom door.
 At the dinner table ask if anyone noticed anyone (not just family members) demonstrating the character
quality (or not demonstrating it).
 Point out news stories where character was or was not involved.
 Review the “I wills” and see if there are specific actions you can add to this list.
 During car trips, challenge the kids by describing scenarios and having them identify if it describes being
the quality or being the opposite.
 Praise with character by recognizing the character quality involved rather than the achievement.
 For more ideas visit www.charactercincinnati.org/education.php
9
P AGE
Character
Education
Opportunities
In May
WYTUG•-•May•31
What You Think Upon Grows Day is all about harnessing your thoughts to keep you thinking in the
positive. When you find yourself thinking about negative things or stressing over details that are
meaningless, focus your thoughts on the positive. The more positive your thoughts, the more positive
things you attract or at least notice and appreciate. Athletes take advantage of this by envisioning
success in their sport. To demonstrate this, ask the class to find all things that are a particular shape or
color in the classroom. You will be surprised how many round things or red things there are when you
concentrate on them. Challenge them to look for the positive all day. The next day ask if anyone
noticed something that they wouldn’t have ordinarily noticed if they weren’t looking out for them.
Below is a YouTube link for an explanation of this concept.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2caBYIIYV0
Other Days You Can Use To Teach Character This Month
•1•May•Day
•1•National•Day•of•Reason
•1•Loyalty•Day
•1•School•Principal’s•Day
•2•Brothers•and•Sisters•Day
•3•National•Two•Different•Colored•Shoes•Day•
•5•Cinco•de•Mayo
•6•National•Teachers•Day
•7•Great•American•Grump•Out
•7•School•Nurses•Day
•8•V-E•Day
10•Clean•Up•Your•Room•Day
11•Mother’s•Day
17•Do-Dah•Day
26•Memorial•Day
31•What•You•Think•Upon•Grows•Day
Week•1•(6-12)•PTA•Teacher•Appreciation•Week
Week•2••Reading•is•Fun•Week,•National•Etiquette•Week
Week•3•National•Backyard•Games•Week
The•Month•of•May•is•International•Civility•Awareness•Month,•National•Smile•Month,•Teen•
CEO•Month,•and•Young•Achievers•of•Tomorrow•Month.
For•more•information•on•these•and•other•holidays•visit:•http://holidayinsights.com/moreholidays/may.htm•
or•http://www.brownielocks.com/may.html
10
www.charactercincinnati.org
Written by Jill Tomey,
Character Education Consultant
The Character Council of Greater Cincinnati and
Northern Kentucky
P.O. Box 33144
Cincinnati, Ohio 45233
© 2014 Character Council of Greater Cincinnati &
Northern Kentucky
The 49 Character Qualities are adapted from Character First!
materials and are used with permission.
Mary Andres Russell, Executive Director
Phone: 513.467.0170
E-mail: [email protected]
Use of external website links in our articles does not imply
endorsement of the site, its content or the views and
opinions of the external Web site's sponsoring organization.
Please use your own discretion when using material from
these links.
Character...It Starts With Me!
Character in the Classroom Continuously
There are many ways that you can teach the Character
Quality of Month. Here are just a few suggestions:
 Ask students to make posters to hang in the
classroom or around the school.
 Challenge students to find quotes, news stories,
current (or classic) songs or movies that portray the
character quality of the month. Be sure to share
these with the class and “archive” these to use in
future years.
 Add the character trait of the month to the spelling
word list. (Even if it is posted in the classroom to
copy!)
 Offer for students to make a video or write a rap
that demonstrates the Character Quality of the
Month.
 If you teach younger students, see if you can
“borrow” some older students to lead your
students in an activity or switch the roles and have
the younger students “teach” a rhyme to the older
students.
 If you teach older students, you can be the
initiator in the previous activities.
 Invite local business leaders or small business
owners to talk about the importance of a
character trait. If you teach older students, aim to
get a representative from a business that typically
hires teens so that they can relate the importance
of good character when applying for and keeping a
job.
 Men and women in uniform usually make
impressive guest speakers. Police departments,
fire departments and military recruiting offices are
usually willing to come into a classroom. Do not
be afraid to give them specific requests or
guidelines for speaking so that it is pertinent to
the lessons of the month.
 Always have a generic character activity planned
and ready to go that you can use as filler when
you have time to kill or that a substitute teacher
can use in your absence.