s a e l p n o d e e t u b i r t W at er m ar kP DF s i d t o n e t o u d b i e r t s s a i e d t pl o n e t o u d b i e r t s s a i e d l t p o n e t o u d b i e r t s s a i e d t pl o n n o o d d e e s s a a e e pl pl 1 n o d e e t u b i r t s a e l p o d e b i tr s i ZINESTER d s i t e d l o t p n o o n e d t b o i e u r d t s b i s a e r i t e s d l s a i t p F e d l o t p n D o o n P e d t o k e e u d r s s b i a a e r a t e e s l l s a i p p e m d l r t p o e n e e t t t o u u u a d b b b i i i e r r r W t t t s s s s a i i i e d d d t t t pl o o o n n n o o o o d d d d e e e e s s s s a a a a e e e e pl pl pl pl as REVOLUTION #9 THE IRREGULAR JOURNAL OF POST-REALITY SOCIAL COMMENTARY, SPECULATIVE FICTION, ART, POETRY, ANARCHISM & ELDRICH FANZINE MADNESS Featuring the Writing and Art of: Isaac Asimov Christopher Barnes Ray Cathode Dave Dugan Blair Davis Gauntt Leigha George John Gill Tona Hamishige W. Joe Hoppe Susie Kahlich Klipschutz Ricardo Obsolete Ursula Pflug Qojak Andrea Shriver Steven Taylor Craig Volesky Dedicated To: Steve Marsden 1947-2015 This zine is a production of the OBSOLETE! PUBLISHING EMPIRE PO Box 72, Victor, IA, 52347 obsolete-press.com [email protected] 2 CONFESSIONS OF A We’ve learned a lot about publishing since we put out “Abstract Youth” in 1982… Maybe. A.Y. was our attempt at hardcorepunkart, but in fact, it was just a collage of clippings from Thrasher, Hustler, the Weekly World News and photos taken at local punk shows, along with some drunken gobbledygook manifesto plagiarized from Marcel Duchamp and Jello Biafra. Luckily, only one copy of A.Y. remains…dogeared, beer-stained, at the bottom of a battered, army-green filing cabinet... where it will stay. During the hiatus since OBSOLETE! #8, I’ve given a lot of thought to the motivations behind putting out a zine in the era of digital media. For some zinesters, it is a rejection of digital culture. The handmade object is what it is about. For me, making a zine is still about being a fan. It’s like making a paper mixtape and sharing it–by hand–with members of my tribe. There is a direct line from the science fiction fanzines of the 30’s to the punk fanzines of the 80’s, to the personal zines of today. Most of them, regardless of “quality” are lost to time. That’s okay! Pop culture, music, teen angst… it’s not good for every bit of it to be digitally archived. Facebook is selling your family photos to advertisers. Your greatest moment goes viral and becomes yesterday’s news. Memories are cheapened. Myths are smothered in their cribs. revolutions are slaughtered like veal. Ideas, stories, styles, stripped of context and imagination, are forced to march into eternity as zombies, awaiting their turn to be rebooted– strung up like a marionette, reanimated and resold as the latest thing. To make and share a zine is to say that no… we didn’t make this for everybody in the world. There is no comments section. Dialog is hard work. If you hate it, you must physically dispose of it. If you like it, you can share it with one other person. Or toss it in the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet... 3 o e d t b i e u r t s b i s a r i POST-REALITY t e s d l s We Are There. a i t p e d l o t p n o o n e d t b o i e u r d t s b i s a e r i t e s d l s a i t p F e d l o t p n D o o n P e d t o k e e u d r s s b i a a e r a t e e s l l s a i p p e m d l r t p o e n e e t t t o u u u a d b b b i i i e r r r W t t t s s s s a i i i e d d d t t t pl o o o n n n o o o o d d d d e e e e s s s s a a a a e e e e pl pl pl pl n o d e “Post-Reality… capitalism that murdered their dreams, not Joe Chill. This past winter, an unholy alliance of mormons and meth victims, high on Jesus, the constitution and the smell gunpowder, occupied a lonely Oregon bird-watching sanctuary, acting out their own brand of cosplay, this time LARPing a redneck reboot of King Leonidas and his 300 Spartans. But, there are no six pack abs there. Beer guts and bad hips, Walmart Realtree® camo and “Molon Labe” meshback caps. Unlike their Comicon cosplaying cousins, these ammosexuals favorite fetish is not realized without real firepower, in the form of cheap AR15 Bushmasters or Chinese Norinco Mac 90s, purchased at county fairground gun shows for a small roll of wrinkled twenties. They too seek vengeance. Their super-villian is also a straw man, a black/mexican/jewish/transgender golem, so sexy and confusing that they must kill it before they succumb to its powers. what the fuck does that MEAN?” The world has gotten so…meta. In 2006, Oxford Professor Alan Kirby described the post-postmodern world like this: “This pseudomodern world, so frightening and seemingly uncontrollable, inevitably feeds a desire to return to the infantile playing with toys which also characterises the pseudomodern cultural world. Here, the typical emotional state, radically superseding the hyper-consciousness of irony, is the trance – the state of being swallowed up by your activity. In place of the neurosis of modernism and the narcissism of postmodernism, pseudo-modernism takes the world away, by creating a new weightless nowhere of silent autism. You click, you punch the keys, you are ‘involved’, engulfed, deciding. You are the text, there is no-one else, no ‘author’; there is nowhere else, no other time or place. You are free: you are the text: the text is superseded.” For some, the present looks sweet, like a chocolate/vanilla soft-serve ice cream cone. The past and the future swirl together into an even mixture of delicious chocolate optimism and comforting vanilla nostalgia. For others, the present is just a turd between two slices of Wonder Bread. As William Gibson wrote, “The future is already here — it’s just not very evenly distributed.” For many, work is no longer taking place in reality. People are not pipe-fitters or nurses or short order cooks. They are “foodies” or “gamers” or “Lakers fans” who have their chosen reality interrupted by soulless hours of editing code or slinging lattes for Uber drivers. Call center workers break away from their digital doldrums and cosplay at Comicons, becoming their favorite CGI super hero, donning foam rubber six-pack abs and wielding absurdly outsized war hammers and blasters. Who are these people? Many aren’t even comic book nerds. In years past, they would have been hockey fans, but now, that brand of spectacle simply isn’t potent enough anymore. Big budget streaming hi-def media labs have cooked our beloved superheroes down, distilling away the impurities of pathos, benevolence and justice, and creating a high-octane crank of pure vengeance. But what are they seeking vengeance for? It was Magick(sic) is “…the science and art of causing change to occur in conformity with will.” By Crowley’s definition, language is Magick (or a virus, according to William Burroughs.) Hacking is Magick. Virtual reality is Magick, 3D printing is Magick. Bitcoin is Magick. Social media is Magick. Genetic engineering is Magick. Financial instruments are Magick. Capitalism is Magick. Pop music is Magick. Advertising is Magick. We few, we unhappy few, we band of post-postmodern Terran humanoids, have left reality for the Magick Zone. We are entering post-reality… the age of sigils. Our lives are ruled by conceptual semantics and calculus. We no longer live in the territory, but in the map of the territory. The singularity already came and went. It was not a mighty wind blowing techno-utopia into the lives of all humans, but rather a giant, collective Red Bull fart, blown silently into the cushions of a million cheap Staples office chairs by an army of Halo players. Although information technology has lead to a democratization of access to information and the ability to express ideas, it has also created a class of screen serfs, living, working, shopping and socializing within the digital environment. The expression “meatspace” illustrates the contempt that techno-utopian post-realists have for the realm where real fighting and real fucking happens…where real tragedy and triumph happens. Where real people become real heroes, not by killing zombies or overthrowing the federal government, but by putting the well-being of someone else’s “meatsack” above that of your own. Fuck Transhumanism (h+)… Let’s shoot for Transhumanitarianism (H++). Where in the hell has reality gone? There was a time when cons and cosplay were the realm of misfits and nerds who sought solace from the daily abuse they suffered at the hands of “Norms.” Conspiracy Theorist koo-koo land was an equally exclusive confederacy of dunces. Schizophrenics, acid heads and smart-ass activist college kids got together for an occasional game of intellectual chicken. Now both brands of fantasy are popular, mainstream, commodified and a whole lot less fun. These people aren’t in it for laughsthey think it’s all REAL. Being a cosplayer or conspiracy nut is now a viable career path– no more or less valid than being a “financial analyst,” peddling debt-backed securities. The term “post-modernism” came into popular use after the first World War, as an attempt to reject the cold totalitarian regimentation of modern society, industrialization and the social structures of the “Greatest Generation”. However, the post-modernists succumbed to their own irony and narcissism. Despite the effort to open up western culture, the opposite was the ultimate result. Hippies became yuppies, and America dove farther into Reaganist social stratification. Now, we have passed through photorealism and hyperreality is the norm. VR is here and abstraction is a thing of the past. Everything is now black and white, brought to you in Ultra HD 4K. According to the great occultist Aleister Crowley, 4 5 Qojak n o d e e t u b i r t s a e l p o d e b i tr s i d s i t e d l o t p n o o n e d t b o i e u r d t s b i s a e r i t e s d l s a i t p F e d l o t p n D o o n P e d t o k e e u d r s s b i a a e r a t e e s l l s a i p p e m d l r t p o e n e e t t t o u u u a d b b b i i i e r r r W t t t s s s s a i i i e d d d t t t pl o o o n n n o o o o d d d d e e e e s s s s a a a a e e e e pl pl pl pl as MillerMatic 130’s Inferno w/ thanks to Diana Dalberg by w. Joe Hoppe It’s best when you’re on your back vulnerable, except for your big gloves, welding mask, and a welding blanket wrapped around so as you lie there in the sparks and occasional red hot metal drip your body goes somewhere else as you pull yourself along with the weld across a molten metal hellscape where you have the torch the wand the complete power and you feel like the brightest of angels heat and light within your hands— Lucifer, bringing light Prometheus, bringing fire Steven Taylor 6 7 o n e d t b o i e u r d MODNAF REPORT t s b i s a e r i t e s d l s a i t p e d l o t p n o o n e d t b o i e u r d t s b i s a e r i t e s d l s a i t p F e d l o t p n D o o n P e d t o k e e u d r s s b i a a e r a t e e s l l s a i p p e m d l r t p o e n e e t t t o u u u a d b b b i i i e r r r W t t t s s s s a i i i e d d d t t t pl o o o n n n o o o o d d d d e e e e s s s s a a a a e e e e pl pl pl pl Reviews from an over-the-hill fanboy. Three paragraphs. No more, no less. I’m 53, for fuck-sake. I’m even too old to qualify as a man-child. I’m a pentagenarateen. I still write “top ten” lists, watch German SF serials from the 60’s, read indie comics, go to small-town SF Cons and VFW hall professional wrestling shows… and read books. I recently responded to a Craigslist ad to buy some vintage SF pulps, only to find myself meeting a pale, white-bearded man named “Marcel” on a bench at a mall skating rink because, he said, “that is where I meet customers.” It was so very worth it- I scored a first edition paperback of A Clockwork Orange along with some early Ballard, Burroughs (William AND Edgar Rice) and more. He agreed to meet at a coffee shop next time. Why do reviews in a zine? It’s all out there, in the endless, uniform blandness of the web. I know you can read reviews of any of this stuff on 100 different websites. But “zines” began as “fanzines”. Although fandom has reached the mainstream, fen have not. The desire to transcend the mundane lives on. If you are reading this zine now, in the era of the Trumpazoidz and the Zika virus, to you I say…”Gabba gabba, we accept you, we accept you, one of us.” Flickering Lights The Netflix Marvelverse While Joss Whedon Inc. churns out the majority of the Disneyfied Marvel superhero pablum, Netflix has apparently been given the task of managing the “cultural diversity” requirements for the franchise. Netflix has, so far, released seasons of shows based on Daredevil and Jessica Jones (with Luke Cage) and Iron Fist is on the way. Strong female lead with substance abuse and co-dependence issues? Check. Hot interracial super-couple? Check. Handy-capable hero? Check. Is it just me, or is it weird that they decided to relegate all of these non-blonde heroes into the dark, gritty world of subscription TV noir? Why can’t Luke Cage crack wise like Tony Stark? Why does Jessica’s tolerance for alcohol seem to be her dominant super power? Why is Rosario Dawson a kind-hearted nurse and not Electra? 8 Despite Marvsney’s ghettoizing of the misfit heroes, Netflix has come through. Episodic TV is far superior to movies for comic book adaptation, allowing for the true soap-operatic story-telling that just can’t happen in a 2 hour blockbuster. The stories are very personal- no major world-saving. World-saving is just too exhausting. Dealing with guilt, resentment and anger is heroic enough, thank you. The Final Programme AKA The Last Days of Man on Earth This 1973 movie adaptation of a novel by Michael Moorcock was not what you would call a box office hit. At all. Even Michael Moorcock hates to talk about it. I read in a review somewhere that this movie is “what people who hate Ken Russell movies hate about Ken Russell movies.” I think that’s a pretty good description- except I LOVE Ken Russell movies. Moorcock’s Jerry Cornelius was sort of a psychedelic Sci-Fi James Bond, the hero of the four novels that make up the “Cornelius Quartet.” Great books (if a little dated) but sadly, the failure of The Final Programme as a film prevented any more Jerry Cornelius movies from being made. Or, any more Moorcock books from being made into movies, despite perennial discussions about an Elric movie. Anyhoo, here are just a few reasons to watch The Final Programme. 1. Sterling Hayden is in it. Watch any movie Sterling Hayden is in…you won’t regret it. 2. If you grew up on Doctors 1-7, you will like it. 3. If you love “The Prisoner” you will like it. 4. If you smoke loads of weed, you will like it. 5. Hawkwind is playing in the background in one scene. 6. Sterling Hayden is in it….. Readin’ Paper All the Birds in the Sky Charlie Jane Anders Ms. Anders delivers one of those “Y.A. fiction” books that needs to be read by a lot of NOT-Y “A”s as well. Unfortunately, most “A”s gave up reading anything but facebook posts and self-help books long time ago. Charlie Jane Anders is a wonderfully post-gender post-genre post-nerd, who keeps the wonderfully wonderful website i09 alive despite the machinations of its Gawker over- Leigha George continued on page 11 9 n o d e e t u b i r t s a e l p MODNAF continued from page 8 o d e b i tr bies grew out of the “Bikes in Space” anthologies, which started with “Bikes in Space 1”, which was issue #10 of the zine “Taking the Lane.” Quod erat demonstrandum. The editor, Elly Blue, is a prolific publisher and master of the very small Kickstarter campaign. She puts out really nice small, bicycle -related niche books, and her recent foray into feminist bicycling science fiction anthologies shows how deeply she groks new publishing. Pedal Zombies proves that zombies are in fact, not dead. At least not yet. Zombies are the cultural symbol of our times, and this book/zine proves that the creative contagion hasn’t completely run its course. The 13 stories contained in the anthology are all fun, often clever, sometimes thought provoking. Among the stand-outs are “The Breeders” by Emily June Street and “Dead Rock Seven” by Cat Caperello. Elly Blue and her contributors have laid out some great SF stories here, outside of the SF establishment. The “Bikes in Space” series have a kind of outsider energy that fandom has been lacking for a good while. In an era of sad puppies, rabid puppies and endless navel-gazing zines, Elly Blue is putting out some strong paper. s i d s i t e d l o t p n o o n e d t b o i e u r d t s b i s a e r i t e s d l s a i t p F e d l o t p n D o o n P e d t o k e e u d r s s b i a a e r a t e e s l l s a i p p e m d l r t p o e n e e t t t o u u u a d b b b i i i e r r r W t t t s s s s a i i i e d d d t t t pl o o o n n n o o o o d d d d e e e e s s s s a a a a e e e e pl pl pl pl as lords. It comes as no surprise then, that Ms. Anders delivers an equally raw and personal story in her new book, “All the Birds in the Sky.” All the Birds in the Sky is pretty typical Y.A. fare in many ways. You know, teenage witch meets time-traveling computer whiz, teenage witch loses time-traveling computer whiz, etc etc… misunderstood uber-nerd youth being punished for their awesomeness… but somewhere along the way, it transcends Harry Potter and enters the realm of Jane Eyre, albeit set in a climatechanging dystopia that is a bit as if J.G. Ballard and Terry Pratchett co-wrote a novel. Can’t imagine that? Read the book. Throwing Rocks at the Google Bus: How Growth Became the Enemy of Prosperity by Douglas Rushkoff I guess it says something when a book like this gets a 5 star review on Amazon…from 6 people. Rushkoff rules. Rushkoff gets it. But his message is one that is tough for some people to take. The “growth economy”, or what most of us call “capitalism,” SUCKS. No, I mean it literally SUCKS. With the assistance of digital technology, it sucks every bit of wealth, every bit of value, every bit of creative energy, OUT of it’s human host. Or, as Rushkoff puts it; “What digital giveth, digital taketh away.” Rushkoff looks at the evolution of the economy from the “Peer to Peer” artisanal preindustrial era, through industrialization, to the new, distributed “gig” economy. He recognizes that the new “artisanal” era lacks the human at the center… instead, digital technology allows the baseline survival of the indie worker, while it assures the super-efficient extraction of wealth via the same digital technology. Like other early digital trailblazers like Jaron Lanier, Rushkoff recognizes the great, unfulfilled potential of digital technology to be a force for individual freedom, and the sad truth of what it has become. Fortunately though, Rushkoff does see solutions to the digital dilemma, other than blowing up the servers and pitching a yurt in the mountains. Pedal Zombies Edited by Elly Blue Craig Volesky 10 More of a book than a zine, Pedal Zom- 11 Out of ConteXt Files This little zine is SUCH a great object. Everyone I show it to covets it. A tiny, hand-made manila envelope, complete with a log in sheet inside the cover. The interior is made up of seemingly random quotes matched with seemingly (not so) random images, liberated from popular media. Like a meme-generator, Out of ConteXt Files is meant to provoke cognitive dissonance and humor, but unlike a meme-generator, it isn’t the instantly-forgettable product of a lazy douche-bag. It is clever. It required skill to make. See? You can find Out of ConteXt files on Etsy by searching for it by name. You will find it in the store of Sparklebutch, who creates “little queer crafts you never need but always want.” Truth in advertising. It’s a rare thing. Continued on page 22 n o d e e t u b i r t s a e l p o d e HAMILTON BEACH b i tr Beside the bed on the floor there's rumpled clothes. A soft old cherry-coloured corduroy shirt. Black jeans. Pointed shoes. Expensive once but beat-up looking now. No underwear and good cotton socks. Are those the kinds of thing Martin wears? What's he look like? What do I look like? What's my name? I look at the work benches, the stacks of doll-faces, glazed eyes staring ceiling-wards. As dumb as them, but a little more mobile, I get up out of bed. s i d s i t e d l o t p n o o n e d t b o i e u r d t s b i s a e r i t e s d l s a i t p F e d l o t p n D o o n P e d t o k e e u d r s s b i a a e r a t e e s l l s a i p p e m d l r t p o e n e e t t t o u u u a d b b b i i i e r r r W t t t s s s s a i i i e d d d t t t pl o o o n n n o o o o d d d d e e e e s s s s a a a a e e e e pl pl pl pl as by Ursula Pflug Outside the door water continues to run. Wraparound workbenches, on every wall but this one, stacked to the ceiling with piles of doll faces. Piled one on top of the other, faces look out of faces like layers of masks. They still have their eyes; blue eyes with flecks of light in them. Staring up. The hall is empty, so empty, and the building is filled with silence. The water is still running; I open the door. A young woman is standing at the sink, painting her eyelids. Her blonde red curls are tied back in a pony tail; the red is dyed. Her mouth sticks out under jagged lipstick, soft like a little kid's. She jumps, ever so slightly, then keeps applying purple on purple as if I wasn't there. At last her eyes meet mine in the mirror. Mine are brown; my hair's brown too, short. I'm wearing black jeans and a grey hooded sweat-shirt, look about twenty-three. Am cute in a dishevelled gamine-like way. But I knew all that, I just forgot. She gives me a dark look, as though I'm not playing by the rules. I don't know what the rules are, yet. Someone has to start talking, and she isn't, so it looks like it'll have to be me. "D'you have any Tylenol?" I've never been here before. There's no one else in the room. I stay in bed, looking at the doll's eyes. Sacrilege, those fake flecks of light. Like faking orgasm, only worse. Faking Life. Who'd I come with? Why don't I remember? Like other wickedly hungover mornings I know it'll return to me. Machine-heads. Virtual sex junkies. They've discovered it's pheromones that keep your memory sharpened. Kids get it from hugs and kisses. Why there's so much more ADD now; people don't get laid any more, and kids cuddle with virtual pets, not their parents or puppies. But I only did it once. Water runs. My head hurts. Not only do I not remember how I got here, or where here is, I also don't remember where I live, or what I do with myself from day to day. What do I remember? She doesn't even look at me, intent on her work. Her eyelids are getting very thick. Martin, my boyfriend. He's not here with me now, although it comes to me that's not unusual, for him. I told Martin about the machine-heads, and he said he'd run with them too. Once or twice, he said. Of course, he's lied before. "What are you going to be for Carnival?" I ask, leaning back on the paper towel dispenser, watching her in the mirror. Funny I didn't forget Carnival. "Sleeping Beauty," my girl says. "You?" I'm wearing my clothes, which gets rid of at least one uncomfortable possibility. Andrea Shriver 12 "I was thinking of being Darth Vader's girlfriend. Kind of a spin-off, like Bride of Frankenstein." Saying it, I know it's true. Maybe if I talk enough, I'll remember more. Seems to me it's happened before. The sound of running water. Maybe Martin's having a shower--a nice thought. If he was trying to duck out on me again he wouldn't be spending so long in the bathroom. 13 n o d e "Han Solo had a girlfriend, not Darth Vader. Don't you remember?" e t u b i r t She opens her eyes, the bluest blue, very wide as if she can't believe how stupid I am. Truth is, neither can I. "Martin with the big purple eyes, the sharp nose, so handsome?" s a e l p o d e Inn. I'm starving so I go in. The prices are ridiculously low: thirty-five cents for a cup of coffee, eighty-five for a fried egg sandwich; that's what I order. b i tr comes back with a can of Tab. Her yellow polyester uniform hisses on the shiny flecked vinyl. s i d s i t e d l o t p n o o n e d t b o i e u r d t s b i s a e r i t e s d l s a i t p F e d l o t p n D o o n P e d t o k e e u d r s s b i a a e r a t e e s l l s a i p p e m d l r t p o e n e e t t t o u u u a d b b b i i i e r r r W t t t s s s s a i i i e d d d t t t pl o o o n n n o o o o d d d d e e e e s s s s a a a a e e e e pl pl pl pl as "I thought Darth Vader had a girlfriend too, only they just left that part out." "That's my man," I say, glad she jogged my memory. "Left it out of what?" "Star Wars was a story before it was a movie, too. You see, I have this theory that all the movies were stories first. And before that, just pictures written on an invisible wall somewhere, waiting for someone to take them down. Kind of a Plato's cave thing. And now they're pictures on a screen again, just like they were in the beginning. But a screen on this side, not the other side." "He's your boyfriend? Really? What kind?" "How many kinds are there?" "I mean on this side or the other side?" "All sides," I say, my head splitting, figuring it's a trick question. She nods, accepting my answer, although it seems to worry her. "Where is he?" I ask. "We said we'd do Carnival together like we do every year, and here it is not even started and I've already lost him and myself. They should call Carnival the Season of Memory Loss." She turns around at last. It's always different seeing someone outside the mirror and not in it. Like seeing a different part of their personality. "You seem to know a lot more about stories than you do about television. That's very unusual. I'm Louise," she says. "What's your name?" Louise rolls her eyes, says curtly, "He was in here just before you. But he left." I want to fill in some more gaps, ask questions, but she's gone, her chunky heels clattering. They're too big for her, like a little girl playing dress-up in her mother's shoes. "It's Louise too," I say glibly, because I don't remember that part yet. "I'm looking for my boyfriend but I've lost him. Again." "Hey, Louise, wait up," I yell. "You seem pretty mixed up," she says, measuring me with her eyes. "You better watch out: Carnival isn't a game; it's dangerous. That's sort of like Sleeping Beauty though, that show about losing your prince." She runs down the hall, turns a corner and vanishes. I hear a steel door slam, hear her feet clattering on stairs that lead downwards. Slinging my day-pack over my shoulder I follow her, slowly, down long shadowy tiers of stair wells, to the street door. Look both ways, no sign of L. "Kind of a gender reversed Orpheus. Kind of like Isis and Osiris. Is your prince going to come and wake you up?" I walk, don't recognize any street names. The few other people out walking too are so poor they seem invisible even to themselves. I pass old dry goods stores with locked doors and yellow plastic in the windows. There's not a sign of Carnival, as if the city's biggest party doesn't exist. I buy Tylenol at a drug store, swallow several. Finally I come to a coffee shop called the Dew Drop "Maybe. Maybe when we've finished making our show. I'm the star." Louise makes a face, not entirely pleased about it. Some star; her foundation clumsily covers zits around her mouth. "I think maybe it's Martin's place across the hall. D'you know him? D'you live in this building?" 14 "What is it about me?" I ask, too blunt by half, as always. "People are always asking me if I'm lost." The place is empty, huge and dim. The booths are upholstered in shiny red stuff with flecks of gold in it, just like the flecks in the doll's eyes, the rips held together with wrinkled silver duct tape; they wouldn't call it gaffer's tape here. A taupe formica counter with red swivel stools and green Hamilton Beach milk shake machines behind it. God, how I always loved that name. It's always been like a picture to me, of a perfect place, where you could leave all your troubles behind, where everything would be okay and you'd be happy. She reaches out, pats my hand. "The truth is, I think we're all lost. It's just some people try to hide it more than others." She blows smoke rings. "I think the trick is to stay amused, don't you?" A woman after my own heart. And she can't be a machine-head. They never touch living flesh. *** Three years ago during Carnival I went to this warehouse party alone. Martin was gone again. Thing is, I was really drunk, soooo, on my way out I got off the elevator on the wrong floor and walked into this big eerie room full of machine-heads and their gear. I started to turn to run, but this one guy asked me if I didn't want to try. The waitress is in her fifties with bleached blonde hair and pencil thin plucked eyebrows. She sighs, bringing me my coffee. It's terrible, from last week's pot reheated eleven times. I stir in a whole bunch of sugar to mask the taste. I bite into Miracle Whip, not Hellman's, stare a little. I said I'd do anything once. Goggled and gloved, I entered the room they were sharing, thinking I'd get to do a handsome stranger. But the people in there, our sex partners, had arms and legs made of machines, genital organs that didn't look human at all, but were still sexy in this creepy way: valves expanding and contracting, each black rubber exhalation a sigh. I heard the rasping cries of grinding gears, saw furtive graspings of skeletal robotic hands, all the bones showing. Beneath dirty flesh coloured vinyl I saw chrome tendons, frayed wiring. Sucking and popping and moaning, the sounds of machines in orgasm. Then as I stayed in, it started to happen to me too; I got replaced, starting with my sex where I was the most connected. Genius embedded in this craftsman's hand. A sad, wicked, broken-faced genius, but all the same: the sound, the texture were so detailed, so "Are you lost, dear?" she calls from across the room, where she's busy polishing spotless tables, filling full sugar containers, sighing. "I'm looking for my friend. I thought he might've come in here." Little does she know the half of it. She carries my sandwich from the kitchen, walking painfully, wrapped in support bandages that go halfway to her knees. "You must be ready for your break, Denise," I say, now that she's close enough I can read her name tag. Denise or Vera, I'd figured. A fifties name to match the place, her look. "Well, yes," she says, laughing a little. "It's these damn legs, you know?" "Sit down?" "Okay, but I'll get my drink first." She 15 n o d e rich. The furniture was clipped, the detail in shadows, in excrescences of old pink vinyl, raised and knobby like a keloid scar, in palest conflagrations of mauve in the velvet bodysuit I wore. Sighing, sighing: only velvet sighs like this. Someone was a genius, for sure. e t u b i r t smiled up at him, his shaved head. s a e l p o d e Broken mirrors. We are all holding pieces of a broken mirror, trying stubbornly to glue them back together. Maybe we should leave it shattered. b i tr to make the streetcar come. He wouldn't have kept doing it if it hadn't worked so often. That's what we were like together: two lost lambs making up our own mythology, taking solace in an urban sympathetic magic, at once invented and uncovered. s i d s i t e d l o t p n o o n e d t b o i e u r d t s b i s a e r i t e s d l s a i t p F e d l o t p n D o o n P e d t o k e e u d r s s b i a a e r a t e e s l l s a i p p e m d l r t p o e n e e t t t o u u u a d b b b i i i e r r r W t t t s s s s a i i i e d d d t t t pl o o o n n n o o o o d d d d e e e e s s s s a a a a e e e e pl pl pl pl as He said, as if he was quoting: "And all because real people seemed too frightening and the machines promised to take the pain away." "I did," he said, and turned to go. "I know you won't come back. You don't want to come that far in with us again. And I can't come back out any more to be with you, even if I wanted." It's too bad I couldn't tell him that, he would've liked it. That's the thing, he seemed so nice, much nicer than Martin really, in spite of his preferences. I think about him a lot, of how our hands froze on the railing, looking down on the river. Your tongue would get stuck there forever if you let it. Something so stupid only an ignorant kid would do it. "Touch my hand," I said, "take your mitt off, touch my hand." *** "That's exactly right," I said, amazed, sober. "Who said that?" It could've been funny, I suppose, and in some twisted way it even was but it scared the hell out of me. I signed off and jacked out, left to walk city streets, shards of broken ice glinting like starlight. I knew it wasn't real, so what was the matter? The technology's still so new; maybe it's like early horror movies. "The Thing" used to terrify people and now we just laugh. "In the virtual worlds people think they can do anything, darken as much as they want, and it doesn't matter, doesn't have any effect in the real world. Strikes me they might be wrong. A shadow cast from that side to this, staining us," he said, still sounding so lost and poetic and smart. Handsome too, in a rough-hewn way. I walked, turning over in my mind sensations that had more to do with pain than pleasure; the missing parts of myself, the parts I'd allowed to be replaced by robotics had all been screaming faintly, phantom limbs. But it's still a visual medium--how can you remember sensations in VR? I had to have supplied the sensations myself, a shadow of a shadow. "I thought that was just propaganda really, hype, that whole no-touch thing," I said, half meaning it. An outlaw culture's romance, I'd always figured. For it to be true would be too frightening by half. Footsteps running behind me, male footsteps. I turned. One of the machine heads, Matt, the one who'd invited me. I wasn't afraid. Machine heads are terrified of raping real women. They'd have to touch. He waved his wet woolly mitten at me, walked away. His footsteps sounded cold and lonely. He reached for my hand, like something long forgotten, then pulled it back, his mouth twitching. It was the first sign he might yet know what he'd lost. "And where is the one old story now that will tell us the way out of this?" I called after him, but then, I'm always saying that; it's my thing. He stopped, turned towards me, took his mitten off. And touched the icy metal bridge rail instead. It stuck. He pulled it away, leaving behind tiny bits of skin. "You don't like it?" he asked sadly. We walked side by side in the frozen night, the Don River snaking below us, full of moonlight. The east end has always been this sad. "I'm sorry," I whispered, "so sorry," the snot freezing in my nose. "It was okay," I lied. "Then you'll come back? Not many women come. Give me your number." "I guess they lied," I thought I heard him say, walking away again. We were already too far apart, couldn't hear each other any more. "I know where to find you," I lied again, "I'll drop in some time, 'kay?" I 16 "Say, Denise?" "Yes, dear?" She's staring out the window at the dead buildings, the grey afternoon light. "Do you know where anybody celebrates Carnival around here? Maybe if I could find Carnival I could find my friend." Denise's cigarette package is red. Du Maurier King Size. She lights her smoke with a real lighter, a fake gold one and not a Bic click flick dick or whatever. She inhales as if nicotine were prana itself. "Carnival? They started it up here a few years ago, right? Kind of like down in New Orleans. I've never paid much attention; it's not something for us old folks. But there's a dance at a place called The Aquarium, Tuesday week. Somebody left me a poster for it, but I haven't put it up yet." She gets up and walks ever so slowly to the counter, retrieves the poster lying there. Watching her is like watching time itself. A bad time. "Maybe I went to another city last night and just don't remember," I say, thinking what harm can utter frankness do after everything's already gone so wrong? She looks at me levelly. She's been around the block a few times, this one. Knows the score. "But," she says, blowing smoke rings, "you'd have to do an awful beer and pills cocktail to forget that much, down it with even more tequila." Denise speaks so slowly, as though she has more time than the rest of us, only it isn't very pleasant time. "Maybe if you go to this dance..." She shows me the little map at the bottom of the poster. The Aquarium is a club just four blocks away from where we are. My life is like a CD-Rom gothic mystery this morning. If I follow the clues I'll find Martin, remember where I am, how I got to be here. "Problem is I don't remember if I did that or not. Mind if I have one of your smokes?" I ask. "Well, I guess I better get going. It was really nice to meet you, Denise. You've helped me out a lot." "Oh, please do. Please do. But finish your breakfast first. It'll help." "Okay, dear. Hope you feel better. Do drop in again." But I push my half-eaten egg away, light my butt, don't inhale. I don't really smoke but it seems like the right thing to do; keep my molecules moving so I don't get petrified in the fifties like Denise. And I entertain a thin hope it might make Martin show up, like he used to do *** I walk till night falls. I've slept in parks before and would do it again if I had to, but still; the street door is open: relief. The stairs as I walk up are still, so still. I don't hear anything except my own feet, 17 n o d e e t u b i r t so far back? one at a time, although once I hear footsteps running along on an upper floor, but maybe it's just a trick of memory, of desire, like knowing he'll be there. But he isn't, and neither is the red shirt. A stack of boxes is gone, but everything else is the same. I lock the heavy steel door and go to sleep. *** s a e l p o d e don't I just get on the streetcar, go back to the west side, our old apartment, our friends, our bars, our jobs? b i tr "Where's Martin?" I demand. "I still can't find him. You know him, have you seen him? And how come he never mentioned you? What's going on?" s i d s i t e d l o t p n o o n e d t b o i e u r d t s b i s a e r i t e s d l s a i t p F e d l o t p n D o o n P e d t o k e e u d r s s b i a a e r a t e e s l l s a i p p e m d l r t p o e n e e t t t o u u u a d b b b i i i e r r r W t t t s s s s a i i i e d d d t t t pl o o o n n n o o o o d d d d e e e e s s s s a a a a e e e e pl pl pl pl as I'm the only person there again, and Denise joins me, can of Tab and red cigarettes in hand. I tell everything I know, there's bits that come back just in the telling. "Once Martin and I had this dream we'd get a studio together. In the east end where rent was cheap; we'd work our butts off; he'd be an artist and I'd do the production and management, and then after we got rich we could move somewhere else, like to Hamilton Beach maybe," I explain. I make myself at home (haha) and wait for more clues. I look in the mirror, hold a mask to my face. Still, I can't see: eyes in the way. I cut them out with an X-Acto blade but leave the eyelids, so they open and shut, eerily mechanical, over mine. For hours then, I sit at the workbench, cutting the eyes out of a few stacks of dolls. I don't know why, but it makes me feel good. Cut out all those fake eyes, all that sacrilege. "It didn't work, did it?" She asks, and I have to nod. I ask her where we are and she laughs. I guess she thought I was kidding and I couldn't bring myself to tell her the truth. *** The next morning I take an old motorcycle helmet out of a cardboard box full of junk and trade it for my mask. I look in the mirror. Darth Vader. Could be. Just a little modification on the shape. Dig under all the workbenches, find a box of stuff for working with plexiglass resin. I learned how to use it in art school, a million years ago, before I met Martin, back when I still had dreams of being an artist myself. What a fool. Someone phones while I'm working, orders masks. I have to find x number of a certain type, box them, courier them to her Carnival store. "Make sure all the eye holes are cut out," she says sharply, "They weren't last time." I tell her I'm strapped, ask if she could pick them up herself, bring cash. She agrees, somewhat surly. If I'm going to be staying here, I'm going to have to have money to eat. *** Memory returns very slowly. I haven't had such bad amnesia since I first learned to abuse alcohol when I was thirteen. Where am I? Only the east end could be this sad. It's just a part I never really knew; east of the Don River there are still full of these pockets of where the fities and sixties and seventies live on, bordered now, so locked in misery they'll never be able to catch up to the rest of time. In the store windows there's aspidistras with leaves that need wiping, and the ubiquitous layers of yellow plastic. I don't know what all that yellow plastic is for, unless it's to protect the plants from UV, not that they need much protecting, what with the dank grey skies. Why Wherever this is. She shows two hours later, just as I'm finishing up. Harried and businesslike, she takes the box I've packed for her and gives me fifty bucks. Doesn't bat an eye at my masked face, like she sees weirder every day. I go to the Dew Drop for dinner, remembering at the last moment to go maskless, order a hot beef sandwich. Thick powdered gravy poured on white bread, a slab of beef and pale peas floating on the surface tension of melted marg. The fifties isn't even my mother's childhood; how come this place got stuck 18 I can't. We gave all that up, late summer. Came here. It's the inbetween part I've forgotten, and I still don't know where Martin is. I go to the Dew Drop for dinner again, order ham with canned pineapple rings. As always, the place is empty except for me, as though only I know the way in. Denise waves distantly, sighing, but doesn't join me this time. "Maybe he doesn't like you any more," she spits. "Maybe you're too messed up for him. Maybe he's got someone new." "Messed up? That's a joke. He's a way worse abuser than me." "You don't really have the same name as me." "'Course not. I'm Petra. That was a joke." When I get back I see someone's been there while I've been gone, made the bed, worked on the masks. It's happened before. Who? *** "I thought you were her. Where's your lost five months, Petra? Where? I take a westbound "red rocket," what they call the streetcars here. I'm full of trepidation, and when the route passes through my old Spadina neighbourhood I don't even get off, my limbs suddenly leaden. Who would I visit? Who even knows me any more? I feel out of place again, only in a different way. Where do I really belong, or when? It seems like when people or neighbourhoods get stuck, they create little pockets of frozen time around themselves. Denise got stuck in the fifties, even though she's too young for it. At the Dew Drop Inn, I guess the fifties never stopped. I wonder when I'm stuck in? A bad time with Martin, most likely. She's wearing a white satin party dress over her jeans. She doesn't make any sense. Her frizzy ponytail, her strapless dress over her dirty t-shirt and satin old lady pumps. Maybe if I'm nice to her she'll tell me what she knows. "Look," I say kindly, "you can't even get the zipper done up. How is your prince going to recognize you looking like that?" "You stay away from me," she hisses, "you're always said you didn't even want to be on this side. And you can't come without your mask." "What is with your crazy outfit, then?" Some Carnival thing going on this year that I don't understand. I get off the streetcar and stand on the other side of the road, a faint feeling of panic rising in me. The west side looks wrong, gives me a vertiginous feeling as though I've stepped through a mirror and the world's reversed; everything has different meanings. I can barely wait for the streetcar to take me back to the other side, to run upstairs, coat tails flying, sit at my bench and cut doll eyes out. But she snaps her silver purse shut and runs. She's run again. What's she so afraid of? *** Can there be such a thing as a wrong neighbourhood of the soul?--a time in life (for all feeling displaces time--although often in unusual and unprecedented On the way back from the streetcar stop I see Louise. "Hey, Louise," I say, grabbing her arm. She shakes me off, glares. continued on page 38 19 o n e d t b o i e u r d t s b LeslieePerri: i s a r i t e s d l The Queen of Zine s a i t p e d l o t p n o o n e d t b o i e u r d t s b i s a e r i t e s d l s a i t p F e d l o t p n D o o n P e d t o k e e u d r s s b i a a e r a t e e s l l s a i p p e m d l r t p o e n e e t t t o u u u a d b b b i i i e r r r W t t t s s s s a i i i e d d d t t t pl o o o n n n o o o o d d d d e e e e s s s s a a a a e e e e pl pl pl pl cosplay, her work is now relegated to rare anthologies of early women Sci Fi writers. According to fancyclodedia.org: She first married Pohl (1940), whom she had met through a high school friend. Pohl persuaded her to join the Futurians. After their divorce, she married painter/ writer, Thomas Owens, “the handsomest man you ever saw in your life,” according to her friend Rosalind Cohen Wylie. Doris left him to marry Richard Wilson, another Futurian, but they broke up in 1965. While married to Wilson, she worked as a reporter and journalist. She had two children, one with Owens (Margot Owens), and one with Wilson (Richard David Wilson). by Ricardo Obsolete Doris Marie Clair Baumgardt is a name that you may not recognize, but if you are a science fiction fan, you owe a small debt of gratitude to her. Doris may not be held in the same high esteem as other historical figures in fandom, but she should. In 1938, 18 year old Doris was the first woman to join the now legendary “Futurians.” A group of New York city SciFi fans, The Futurians included Donald A. Wollheim, John B. Michel, Isaac Asimov, James Blish, Virginia Kidd (Blish), Robert A.W. Lowndes, Damon Knight, Cyril Kornbluth, Judith Merril, Frederik Pohl and Larry Shaw. Doris Baumgardt would later gain recognition under the pen name Leslie Perri. The Futurians were as controversial as they were famous. Michel and others were active in the Young Communist League, and their political affiliations sometimes brought them into conflict with other factions in fandom. They were also famous for their wild parties and other escapades. Despite their reputation, the Futurians produced some of the most significant figures in mid-20th century science fiction, including writers, artists and editors. Known to her friends as”Doë.” Doris wrote prolifically and provided cover art for fanzines under the name Leslie Perri. She was a founding member of the Fantasy Amateur Press Association (FAPA), created by fellow Futurian Donald Wollheim. In 1939 when Sam Mosovitz banned most of the Futurians from the first WorldCon, Doris was one of only five Futurians allowed inside the hall. Doris was the Futurian’s fem-fatale, 20 and many of the young, nerdy cohort held a torch for her. According to Damon Knight’s wonderful book “The Futurians,” “She was a tall, cool brunette who looked a little like the Dragon Lady in Terry and the Pirates.” Frederik Pohl, to whom Doris was married for a short time, described her as “strikingly beautiful, and strikingly intelligent, too, in a sulky, humorous, deprecatory way that matched well with most of the other people I admired.” Baumgardt was famous for creating costumes and could be thought of as the great grandmother of cosplay as well. According to Damon Knight’s book: “On Valentine’s day, 1939, Doris Baumgardt gave a costume ball. I take account from Futurian News, edited by Michel: “Present were John B. Michel appearing aas a 21st centuryRomeo in beige tunic and scarlet velvet cloak, Leslie Perri as Pirouette in black patent leather panties, tulle skirt and a bodice and hat to match, Fredrick Pohl as an artist in smock and windsor tie, Cyril Kornbluth... Despite Leslie Perri’s vivaciousness, dedication to fandom, writing, art and In the early 1940s she edited a magazine, Movie Love Stories, which (according to Wollheim), she practically wrote herself. She died in 1970 of cancer. *** Blair Davis Gauntt Wollheim And Perri at Riis Park Beach, 1938 21 Modnaf n o d e continued from page ll Fun with Noise e t u b i r t Shop Class as Soulcraft Meta Book Review and s a e l p o d e title I would recommend highly to any reader of HomeFixated. As someone who is lucky enough to actually teach a shop class, I can’t say enough about how important it is to a young person’s outlook and self esteem to have at least a minimal understanding of how to use tools and repair things. I think we lose a lot of our humanity when we deny the importance of working with our hands. Crawford point out: This book is concerned less with economics than it is with the experience of making things and fixing things. I also want to consider what is at stake when such experiences recede from our common life. How does this affect the prospects for full human flourishing? Does the use of tools answer to some permanent requirement of our nature? Arguing for a renewed cultivation of manual competence puts me at odds with certain nostrums surrounding work and consumption, so this book is in part a cultural polemic. I mean to clarify the origins of, and thereby interrogate, those assumptions that lull us into accepting as inevitable, or even desirable, our increasing manual disengagement. b i tr s i d s i t e d l o t p n o o n e d t b o i e u r d t s b i s a e r i t e s d l s a i t p F e d l o t p n D o o n P e d t o k e e u d r s s b i a a e r a t e e s l l s a i p p e m d l r t p o e n e e t t t o u u u a d b b b i i i e r r r W t t t s s s s a i i i e d d d t t t pl o o o n n n o o o o d d d d e e e e s s s s a a a a e e e e pl pl pl pl Slow Forever Cobalt as A double album…and not just a “digital double album,” but rather a burnt orange and black vinyl, 2 record set with an 8-page book and a thick, gatefold cover. If that’s not enough, the music ain’t bad, either. In fact, the music on this 84 minute epic is top-notch. As many ho-hum American metal bands grow up and move beyond the goofy (but really fun) nordic black metal thing, So does Cobalt, making its own new, homegrown sludgy goodness. Honestly, I admit, I’m an old guy and late to the party on this band. I think I’m glad about that though- as I go back and listen to their older stuff, I’m struck by how hung up on the manly-man bullshit the previous singer/lyricist/founder of Cobalt was. I think I could have judged them harshly if I had heard what they were before. Self-proclaimed “War Metal,” whatever that is. This record, on the other hand, is very diverse, and very rock and roll. It goes all over the place stylistically, without sounding mixed up or reverential. It goes to where the MC5 went, where the Stooges went, where Voivod or Slayer went, but they aren’t imitating anyone. The record has a lot of ambience, but doesn’t get lost in it’s own coolness. Don’t think you like Black Metal? Check out Slow Forever. You probably still won’t like Black Metal, but… that’s really not my problem. G.L.O.S.S. EP Girls Living Outside of Society’s Shit No,not G.L.O.W. you idiot! G.L.O.S.S.!! One has nothing whatsoever to do with the other. Or… doesn’t it? Olympia Washington’s G.L.O.S.S. is making hardcore songs that are as good and as fresh as anything that came out of DC in the mid 80’s. With no song over 2 minutes long, their 5 song demo is epic in it’s fury, if not length.The lyrics are brutal and honest- “Outcast Stomp” gets right to the point. “This is for the outcasts,rejects,losers and queers!” Vocalist Sadie makes every word with a rare talent in hardcore punk… annunciation! Look on bandcamp under the tag “transbitcheswithproblems” to check out G.L.O.S.S. And I thought punk was finally really, truly, dead. Silly me. 22 *** Book Repair How-To I recently picked up a great book from a used bookstore. Shop Class as Soulcraft: An Inquiry Into the Value of Work by Matthew B. Crawford is a fabulous book about what it means to be a person who works with their hands. Ironically, before I was finished, the hardcover edition from Penguin Books began to fall apart. So much for quality construction! A large section came loose in the middle, and then became completely detached from the spine. I’m faced with one of the modern dilemmas that Crawford points out in his book. Do I keep reading the book, letting it slowly fall completely apart? Do I simply throw it away and buy another copy? Or, maybe download an electronic version to my smart phone, perhaps? No, Dammit! I will fix it! A decline in tool use would seem to betoken a shift in our mode of inhabiting the world: more passive and more dependent. And indeed, there are fewer occasions for the kind of spiritedness that is called forth when we take things in hand for ourselves, whether to fix them or to make them. What ordinary people once made, they buy; and what they once fixed for themselves, they replace entirely or hire an expert to repair, whose expert fix often involves installing a pre-made replacement part. Well Mr. Crawford… I, for one, am not willing to be passive and dependent. I’m all about the tool use, even when it comes to my reading habits! Luckily, my mother was a public school librarian, and I watched her repair plenty of books back in “the olden days.” There are just a few simple tricks to it, so if you have a favorite book at home that has seen better days, you can try this at home! First, let me talk just a bit more about the book I’m repairing. It’s definitely a glue. This means that it has neutral pH. Elmer’s Glue-All is okay, but if it is a book you really care about, you might want to drop eight bucks on some bookbinding glue. Elmer’s has a pH of about 5, and over time the acid in it might discolor. The same holds true for most PVA glues. The pH scale ranges from 1 to 14, with 7 considered to be neutral. A pH less than 7 is said to be acidic and solutions with a pH greater than 7 are base or alkaline. The process for repairing the book is very simple. After applying the glue along the detached section of the spine, wipe away any squeeze-out to prevent it from making the pages hard to turn. Make sure all of the loose sections are perfectly aligned. You can use big rubber bands, clamps, or just lay the book flat and stack some bigger, heavier books on top of it. Done carefully, the book should be as good (or better) than new! After reading (and repairing) Shop Class As Soulcraft, I can’t recommend it highly enough. It’s a fantastically inspiring book. And properly repaired, I can loan it out to friends for years to come without worrying about the book losing its pages. Bravo! Now, let’s get back to the project at hand, how to repair a book. The single most important thing to consider is the glue that you choose. To really do it right, you need some archival quality *** 23 n o d e e t u b i r t s a e l p o d e b i tr s i d s i t e d l o t p n o o n e d t b o i e u r d t s b i s a e r i t e s d l s a i t p F e d l o t p n D o o n P e d t o k e e u d r s s b i a a e r a t e e s l l s a i p p e m d l r t p o e n e e t t t o u u u a d b b b i i i e r r r W t t t s s s s a i i i e d d d t t t pl o o o n n n o o o o d d d d e e e e s s s s a a a a e e e e pl pl pl pl as 24 25
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