information
sheet
Family Relationships
Family plays a crucial role in the wellbeing
of young people, having a significant influence
on the development of their identity, beliefs
and values. Because of this, families can be both
a major strength in a young person’s life and also
their greatest source of concern and distress.
Each year in Australia, around 11,000 young
people experience family separation as a result
of broken relationships.1
Children and young people’s
experiences with problems
in their family, involving
parents and siblings
(birth/foster/adoptive/step
/de facto or separated),
extended family members or
significant others (excluding
peers or partners).
For many young people, families act as a critical
source of pride, strength and guidance. Family
relationships have been found to be the most valued
aspect of a young person’s life.2 Supporting this, one
study3 found the majority (73%) of young people
nominated parents as their role models and the people
they most admire. A further 12% nominated an older
brother or sister and 9% nominated a grandparent.
Only 6% picked a sports star or pop culture identity
as their main role model.
Research has shown strong positive relationships
with parents and other family members help children
to feel heard, understood, loved, important and
valued.4 They also help foster a sense of belongingness,
security and self-worth, and assist in developing high
self-esteem, positive self-image, better concentration
and a sense of optimism. In addition, strong family
relationships assist the development of resilience
and social and emotional competency, improving
young people’s ability to deal with adversity.5
In contrast, family conflict has been found to be
the greatest cause of unhappiness for Australian
young people.2 Although conflict is recognised as
a normal and healthy part of all family relationships,
when not handled effectively it has significant and
long lasting effects. Children and young people
who have experienced more family transitions and
conflicts are more likely to be troubled by a wide
range of complex emotions including sadness, anger,
fear, jealousy, isolation and insecurity.6 Moreover,
the emotional stress young people can experience
when they lack a nurturing family environment
has been associated with higher levels of problem
behaviours such as substance use, delinquency, poor
school performance, unplanned teenage pregnancies,
risk-taking behaviour and suicide.6
Conflict can happen when family members have
different views or beliefs about things, issues and
events in their lives. It is particularly common during
periods of transition where additional challenges are
present, such as:
• separation or divorce
• forming step-families
• the addition of a family member
• relocating
• parental unemployment
• death of a loved one
• developmental progression
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The Kids Helpline Experience
Concerns relating to family relationships have always
been the number one reason children and young people
contact Kids Helpline.
Over the past five years, counsellors have responded
to an average of 25 contacts per day from children
and young people concerned about their family
relationships. This included a total of 10,129 contacts
in 2010, accounting for 16% of all counselling contacts
received throughout the year.
Many young people contact Kids Helpline after
attempts to speak to parents and family members
have failed, either through being ignored, minimised
or misunderstood. Some young people find it difficult
to raise problems with their family, others need help
to clarify their concerns before approaching family
members. A small number of young people contact
Kids Helpline because they have nowhere else to turn.
Cultural Background
Age and Gender
Counsellors were able to record cultural and
linguistic background for 49% of contacts regarding
family relationship concerns.* Of these, the majority
were from young people of Anglo-Australian
background (74%). The remainder were of Aboriginal
or Torres Strait Islander (2%) or non-English speaking
(24%) backgrounds.
In 2010, young people primarily concerned about
their family relationships were typically younger
than the average Kids Helpline client. Young people
aged 18 years and under represented 86% of family
relationship contacts, compared with 72% of contacts
regarding all problem types. Both males and females
aged between 5 to 9 years were twice as likely to make
contact regarding a family concern compared with
other issues. Consistent with general help-seeking
trends, the majority of contacts (82%) were female.
Family and Living Arrangements
Young people reporting family relationship concerns†
were more likely to be living in a single-parent
household, two-parent blended family or a shared
custody arrangement. Young people living with
two biological or adoptive parents accounted for
40% of contacts.
figure 1AGE & GENDER DISTRIBUTION
OF FAMILY RELATED CONTACTS COMPARED
TO ALL COUNSELLING CONTACTS
7.9%
3.7%
3.7%
1.7%
figure 2LIVING ARRANGEMENTS OF FAMILY RELATED
CONTACTS COMPARED TO ALL
COUNSELLING CONTACTS
39.6%
40.8%
10 to 14
TWO PARENTS
(biological/adopted)
23.7%
26.3%
LIVING ARRANGEMENT
AGE GROUPS
5 to 9
40.8%
40.3%
44.7%
15 to 18
43.4%
11.8%
15.2%
19 to 20
27.9%
28.6%
0%
10%
20%
30%
39.9%
42.1%
TWO PARENTS
(blended)
11.8%
7.2%
28.9%
20.1%
SINGLE PARENT
SHARED CUSTODY
4.7%
1.8%
14.7%
OTHER
40%
50%
0%
% COUNSELLING SESSIONS
FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS MALE
FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS FEMALE
ALL COUNSELLING MALE
ALL COUNSELLING FEMALE
28.8%
20%
40%
60%
80%
% COUNSELLING SESSIONS
FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS
* Due to the anonymous nature of Kids Helpline counselling, it is not always possible to record demographic data.
† Based on those 67% contacts for which living arrangements were recorded.
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ALL COUNSELLING
100%
In terms of family structure, 45% of young people
contacting Kids Helpline about family relationships∞
had parents who were together, whilst rates of shared
custody were two and a half times higher than for all
counselling contacts in general (5% vs 2%).
Mode of Contact
Consistent with the help-seeking behaviour of all
Kids Helpline counselling contacts, young people
with family relationship concerns were more likely
to make contact via telephone (67%). This preference
was consistent regardless of the nature of their family
relationship concern.
conflict or disruption and the remainder (12%) were
worried about family members. With the exception of
a 2% decrease in the proportion of contacts regarding
major family conflict or disruption, rates are very
similar to the past five years.
table 1
Nature of Family Related Contacts
Nature of Concern
Proportion
Caller worried about family member/s
11.9%
Occasional conflict/disruption
25.0%
Frequent conflict/disruption
30.7%
Nature and Severity of Concerns
Major family conflict/disruption
19.6%
Young people contacting Kids Helpline about family
relationship issues report problems covering a variety
of severities ranging from concern for the welfare of
a family member to experiencing family breakdown,
separation or divorce.
Family breakdown/separation/divorce
12.9%
Total100.00
In 2010, 13% of contacts were from children and
young people experiencing family breakdown,
separation or divorce.
A further 50% of family relationship contacts were
about major or frequent conflict or disruption.
Twenty-five percent were concerned about occasional
∞ In 2010, 57% of family relationship contacts and 44% of all
counselling contacts had a record of family structure.
Jason* (16 years) called Kids Helpline worried about his family.
He said his parents were separated but both were still living
in the same house with him. His Dad drank heavily every
night and Jason was calling in order to find out how to get
help for him. His Mum was pregnant to her new boyfriend
and Jason was concerned because the boyfriend was verbally
abusive towards her but she didn’t want anyone else to get
involved. He was also getting bullied at school, mainly about
his family issues. The counsellor normalised Jason’s feelings
and mapped out a strategy that he could put into action with
the counsellor’s assistance. The counsellor provided the
phone number for a support group for heavy drinkers that
Jason could offer to his Dad as well as a number for a support
service for his Mum. The counsellor and Jason rang his school
principal together on a conference line so that Jason could
feel supported in explaining the issues and getting some
school-based assistance. At the end of the call, Jason said he
was feeling more confident that he would be able to achieve
a positive outcome and agreed to stay in touch with the
counsellor to get ongoing support.
*name changed for privacy reasons
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Qualitative analysis of 1,385* contacts received in
2009 further highlighted the diverse nature of family
relationship concerns. These can be loosely grouped
into the following:
and partner relationships and study issues were also
frequently mentioned. Concerns regarding housing or
study were each two to three times more likely to be
associated with family relationship concerns than with
other primary concerns.
• fights and arguments between parents
(biological and/or step)
• sibling bullying and disputes over sharing resources
and responsibilities
• issues around discipline and teenagers seeking
greater independence
t
• he need for appreciation, time or affection
from parents
• unrealistic expectations and controlling attitudes
of parents
• consequences of committing various misdemeanours
• being told or forced to leave home and having
nowhere to stay
• family separation/breakdown
• other family conflicts
In addition, qualitative analysis† highlighted the
following common concerns:
Related Issues
†
• mental health problems
• physical health and/or disability
• drugs and/or alcohol misuse
• employment/financial problems
• blended family and living arrangements
• life transitions
• school bullying
• study issues
• developmental issues
• issues with peer and/or partner relationships
• body image
An analysis of 1,385 family-related contacts received in 2009
for whom case notes were recorded identified associative issues
similar to the above.
During counselling, it is not uncommon for clients
to discuss more than one issue. In 2010, issues
most commonly reported as a secondary concern
in conjunction with family relationships related to
emotional or behavioural management and mental
health concerns. Homelessness or leaving home, peer
* Randomly selected from a total of 4,619 family relationship contacts
received in 2009, for which case notes were recorded.
Jamila* (15 years) contacted Kids Helpline concerned about her
relationship with her parents. Her family had migrated to Australia
two years ago and her parents were fighting a lot because her father
lost his well-paying job. She said her mother couldn’t find work
because she was still learning English and Jamila felt that they
were blaming her for almost everything that was happening in her
family. She was upset and didn’t know how to talk to her parents
about her concerns. The counsellor worked with Jamila to develop
some coping strategies to help her overcome her fears about
talking to her parents. Jamila said she would call back to further
develop these ideas if she needed more assistance.
*name changed for privacy reasons
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Kids Helpline plays a vital role in assisting young
people to deal with the distress and trauma that
family relationship issues can cause. In 2010,
counsellors directly assisted 79% of children and
young people contacting Kids Helpline with concerns
about their family. A further 7% were referred to
another service for ongoing support and 10% were
referred to a school guidance counsellor, social worker
or other non-specific referral. Compared with other
counselling issues, children and young people seeking
assistance for family relationship issues were less
likely to require a referral.
PROTECTIVE FACTORS COMMONLY
REPORTED AS BEING USED BY SOME
YOUNG PEOPLE
• Support from a peer/relative
• Making another person aware of the
current family issue
• Being employed
• Having plans for the future
• Feeling responsible towards family
member(s)
figure 3OUTCOMES FOR FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS
CONTACTS COMPARED TO ALL
COUNSELLING CONTACTS
DIRECT ASSISTANCE
– NO REFERRAL REQUIRED
OUTCOMES
OUTCOMES
• School counselling
• Having at least one caring parent/sibling
• Police/legal support
• Medical/psychological/psychiatric support
Impacts of Family Conflict
Young people contacting with concerns regarding
family conflict commonly reported feelings of distress,
confusion and grief. At its most extreme, young
people reported engaging in self-harming or suicidal
behaviours. In 2010, almost 1,000 children and young
people with family concerns reported having engaged
in self harming behaviour and 428 reported having
thoughts of suicide during their contact session with
Kids Helpline.
BoysTown’s Response to Family Conflict Issues
BoysTown recognises that family relationship
concerns have a myriad of underlying issues and
causes. Because of the important role families play in
the development of young people, any problem within
this unit needs to be addressed immediately and
thoroughly. Prolonging any difficulties experienced due
to family relationship issues may cause young people
further problems.
69.1%
65.3%
INTERNAL REFERRAL OR WEB
COUNSELLING (EMAI L ONLY)
9.6%
8.6%
6.7%
7.4%
REFERRED AND ACCEPTED
9.8%
13.5%
NON-SPECIFIC REFERRAL
4.9%
5.2%
UNABLE TO REFER
0%
20%
40%
60%
80%
% COUNSELLING SESSIONS
FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS
ALL COUNSELLING
In addition to Kids Helpline, BoysTown provides
a number of services directly related to supporting
families. This includes:
• supported accommodation for families in New South
Wales experiencing homelessness
• a domestic violence refuge for mothers and children
in South East Queensland
p
• arenting programs for young parents and their
children (<5 years old)
• a telephone counselling service for parents in
Queensland and Northern Territory
Furthermore, BoysTown’s Strategy and Research team
actively work to fill the current gap in youth research
by providing Local, State and Federal governments with
evidence surrounding the range of issues concerning
Australian young people. This research, and the
research of others, is critical in helping inform social
policy regarding family wellbeing.
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Links to Kids Helpline Hot Topics:
References:
Respectful Relationships
http://www.kidshelp.com.au/grownups/newsresearch/hot-topics/respectful-relationships.php
1.Child Support Agency. (2009).
Facts and figures 08-09. Retrieved from
http://www.csa.gov.au/_documents/publications/
facts_and_figures_2009.pdf
Talking With Your Parents
http://dev.kidshelp.com.au/teens/get-info/hot-topics/
talking-with-your-parents.php
2.Mission Australia. (2006). National survey of young
Australians: 2006 key emerging issues. Sydney:
Mission Australia.
Family Separation
http://dev.kidshelp.com.au/kids/information/hottopics/family-separation_1.php
3.Tucci, J., Mitchell, J. & Goddard, C. (2006). Every child
needs a hero: A report tracking Australian children’s
concerns and attitudes about childhood. Melbourne:
Australian Childhood Foundation.
Family Fights
http://dev.kidshelp.com.au/kids/information/hottopics/family-fights_1.php
4.Burgo, J.T. (2006). Kids and self- esteem: Building
stronger families. Retrieved from Building Stronger
Families website: http://extension.missouri.edu/
bsf/selfesteem/index.htm. University of
Missouri-Kansas City.
Brothers and Sisters
http://dev.kidshelp.com.au/kids/information/hottopics/brothers-and-sisters_1.php
5.Mission Australia.(2005). Developing resilience
at every stage of a young person’s life.
Sydney: Mission Australia.
Suggested citation:
BoysTown (2010). Kids Helpline Information Sheet:
Family Relationships
6.Cavanagh, S.E. & Huston, A.C. (2008).
The Timing of Family Instability and
Children’s Social Development.
Journal of Marriage and Family,
70(5), 1258-1269.
Sourced at www.kidshelp.com.au
20.04.11
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