Singapore Hash House Harriets
News Letter
The Harriets Committee Members
Grand Mistress
Hareline
Hash Brew
On Sec
Asst On Sec
Hash Cash
Asst Hash Cash
Haberdash
Committee
Committee
Lorena Ferreira
Jennifer Dale
Melanie R Smith
Chris Newling
Clarice Chan
Amy Lin
Fiona Smith
Vish Reynolds
Michelle McNamara
Kristy Chissom
Run Report #2008
7/12/2011
The ‘Real St.Andrew’s Day’
Run?
Hares: Kan Not Kan
Where: Bukit Batok Heavy
Vehicle Car Park, Bukit Batok
Rd and Old Jurong Rd.
On On: The Greasy Spoon
Wet Brazilian
Posh Nash
Zipp
Wet & Wild
Deep Throat
Forced Entry
Stiffener
Mother’s Tongue
Open to the Floor
Big Head
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
Next Run
Run:2009 The ‘Shaggy Shoulder’ Run.
When:
Wednesday 14th December 2011. What
time does a 6 o’clock run start?
Where:
Blackmore Drive
Hares:
Shaggy Dick Too & Cock Radio
On On:
Possibly The Fortuna Seafood Restaurant
(Red Lantern!)
Map:
http://www.singaporeharriets.com
Reminder: If you are setting a run in the next 2 months, keep in mind that
it is getting dark very early – do not consider going into dense jungle after
6.30, unless you wish to spend the rest of your night searching for lost
Hashers. To play safe, set the jungle sections in the first part of your run.
Second Reminder: On Sec and Webmaster are away on vacation, so hares need to
be diligent in emailing run site details to [email protected] asap.
December is all up to date, thank you, hares for January please get us details now.
We also need hares for February 1 and 8 please – contact
[email protected] and [email protected].
The Run:
According to Cock Radio:
The Car Park was in good condition – firm, no shiggy and well marked.
Good run.
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Singapore Hash House Harriets: Address: Post Office Box #045 Farrer Road Post Office, Singapore 912802.
Web site: http://www.singaporeharriets.com
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News Letter
According to Sneaky Comer:
Kan Not Kan arrived back at the run site just before 6pm. A somewhat positive sign
given that last Friday’s run was apparently 1:40 for the FRB’s. Head out along Jurong
Road, he reported, trail starts near the bus stop. Somehow Posh Nash interpreted this as
check the bus stop down by the car park, but she was soon put right and off we headed.
Into track 10 12 14 16 18 20 22 not sure we headed, all was going well and we were on
trail, until (perhaps) the stream crossing. At this point it all went to custard when we
picked up trail, although possibly not tonight’s trail. Explaining what had happened
later to KNK, we were told no, that’s not where the trail went. Oh well. Anyway,
happily following trail we found our way to up near the soldier’s camp and trail
disappeared. We spent 10 minutes wandering around aimlessly, at which point the pack
broke up into 7 groups. Mr Potato Head checked for 3 miles in every direction and
finally declared he was doing his own run. Boo and much of the pack headed over
towards Bukit Batok Road. Posh Nash, Stiff, myself, a visitor or two headed back
towards Jurong Road and found trail about 500m later. Well marked trail. Using the
famous invisible red and white plastic tape favoured by KNK. So off we went. All
looked good. We followed and followed little loops, muddy patches under umbrella
leaf, through stream, over path. And this lead us nicely back past the original out trail.
Which sadly we didn’t notice until we had run well past it. So we retraced our steps,
headed in the out trail, and on home just on the hour. Nice run. Even if it was a
combination of Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday trail.
The Circle: ‘Hare in the Circle,’ was the request, but it was suggested that the word
‘Hare’ was a misnomer as there was no trail.
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? ‘What did we think of the run?’ The
reply was ‘What run?’ The Hare was told he could set that run again and no one would
know. I think it was decided that it could have been a good run.
Tell us about your On On: Paradise Seafood Restaurant aka The Greasy Spoon. $12.
Next week’s run: Blackmore Drive, Shaggy Dick Too.
Visitors / Returnees: Totally Unacceptable, Vibrator, Stiff, Two Arse,
WTF is Christine, Burning Sensation from New Jersey, Fawlty Towers,
Last Minute Dot Com. Welcome all.
Virgins: Nope
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Singapore Hash House Harriets: Address: Post Office Box #045 Farrer Road Post Office, Singapore 912802.
Web site: http://www.singaporeharriets.com
Singapore Hash House Harriets
News Letter
Tits: Cock Radio has lost misplaced them. Not often I can’t get my hands on a pair of
tits.
Dick: The Asia Blonde, Tiger Lily, still has it.
Lippy: No lippy, so a spanking is called for instead. Vibrator, who complains how can
he get caught in front if there was no trail? A good point, but he gets a spanking
anyway. Shaggy Dick Too tries to sneak in for a spanking too.
Awards – Open To The Floor – 50 runs. Now F#*k off.
AOB:
 Stiffy reminds us that the European Common Market is in trouble, but is the Spanish
Government going too far in budget cuts. Schools will only be given 25 metres of
toilet paper per student for the year. They have also taken curry off their canteen
menu. Will the Spanish Hash follow suit? Open To The Floor takes the charge in
place of the absent Spanish GM.
 Shaggy Dick Too, in breaking news, tells us that an Australian has been sentenced to
a whipping in Saudi Arabia for blasphemy. And how many lashes of the cane would
be appropriate? 10? No. 20? No. 50? No. Surely not 100? No. 500 lashes will do the
job. Cock Radio is charged as the Aussie blasphemer. But all I said was ‘this meal is
fit for Jehovah.’ See, he said it again says SD2! Jehovah, Jehovah!
 Cock Radio then informs us that the above mentioned person destined for 500 lashes
was not your usual everyday Aussie yobo, but was actually a shite sh’ite Muslim on
a pilgrimage to Mecca. So Kan The Kobra was charged for being a dumb Muslim
blonde for not knowing better.
 Wet N Wild reaffirms that there is a major world crisis taking place right now – The
Hash has no wine tonight. And the biggest whiner of all, Stiffy, is charged for
forgetting to bring the wine.
 Seletar Hash are holding a New Year D&D. They certainly won’t be without beer or
wine. See Virginia Slim for details.
 Wet N Wild calls in the Marathon Runners. Shaggy Dick Too, Maggot (look alike
Stiffy) Tiger Lily (look alike visitor, despite Not Tonight insisting she would be
Tiger) Comes Quietly (look alike Mr. Potato Head) and Wet Brazilian
(look alike Not Tonight). Well done all.
 At this stage, with such a small Circle, the charges dried up and Wet
N Wild was about to bring it to a close. But it was way too early, and
the emergency fund of charges was brought out to the rescue.
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Singapore Hash House Harriets: Address: Post Office Box #045 Farrer Road Post Office, Singapore 912802.
Web site: http://www.singaporeharriets.com
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News Letter
 Cock Radio was sound asleep on Monday night, only to be woken by a missed call
on my phone at 12.45am. Looking at the display, I saw it was from Shaggy Dick
Too. Fearing that he had fallen out of bed and dislocated his shoulder, or stumbled
into a drain on the way home from the Sunset Way Coffee Shop, again, I
immediately rang him back to check on his safety.
When he answered, he replied that he had received a missed call from me, and had
rung me to check on my health and safety! It did not matter to him that the missed
call from me was actually made at noon on Sunday. Here’s to the caring friends!
 Not Tonight gave Open To The Floor a farewell charge. A half –hearted attempt at
‘She’s Leaving on a Jet Plane,’ disintegrated, and was quickly transformed into an
enthusiastic version of ‘F#*k off you C@#t.’
 Sneaky Comer remembers one night when he was flying out of Singapore, Open To
The Floor made him drink. As Open To The Floor is flying out later tonight, he gets
revenge and brings her in for another drink.
 Kan Not Kan reckons it is a pretty stupid thing to do – coming to one of his runs
when you are flying out later on. Open To The Floor back in for another drink.
 And why didn’t Vibrator help KNK set the run as he had promised? He was too bust
helping Open To The Floor pack her knickers. Word is he even tried to pack the pair
she was wearing.
 Of course, former committee members need to be recognized when they leave
Singapore. Back in Open To The Floor, ex committee member. Thank you.
 Sneaky Comer is sick of his computer showing up a squiggly line under a certain
Hasher’s name every time he receives the run report from the scribe for mailing out.
Ok, I get confused. Is it Kan Not Can, Can Not Kan, Can Not Can, Kan Not Kan,
Kan Kan, Cannot Kan??? How about if I just call him ‘The tall Scottish git,’ to
make it easier.
 Stiffy says there has been a mistake – we were trying to get rid of Vibrator, not Open
To The Floor. Open To The Floor gets another drink as an apology!
 Cock Radio and others enjoyed a belated surprise 50th Birthday for Sneaky Comer
last Sunday. But Sneaky did not look to surprised when the guests turned up – did he
know we were coming to his surprise party?? Seems that several weeks ago he heard
his wife on the computer in the next room yelling out ‘F#*k,’ ‘F#*k,’ ‘F#*k,’
‘F#*k,’ ‘F#*k,’ before calling him for assistance. She had been trying to mail out
invitations to the party, but had trouble copying addresses from the Harriet’s mailing
list. Before she called in her IT expert husband, she thoughtfully minimized the
invitation so as he would not know what she was up to. However, the
minimized document at the bottom of the screen was titled ‘Tony’s
surprise birthday.’ If that was not enough of a clue, she also sent the
invitations on the Harriet’s On Sec address, which Sneaky also
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Singapore Hash House Harriets: Address: Post Office Box #045 Farrer Road Post Office, Singapore 912802.
Web site: http://www.singaporeharriets.com
Singapore Hash House Harriets
News Letter






accesses and to which we all replied we would be coming. So not only did Sneaky
Comer set up the mail out for his own surprise party, but he received the replies as
well. ‘SURPRISE!’ Don’t worry Wet N Wild, it’s the thought that counts!
Wet N Wild surprised her work colleagues by holding the ‘Surprise’ Party at the
same restaurant that her work were having their end of year bash. Selected
colleagues were allowed into our private room, while the majority were told to f#*k
off out the back with the riff raff.
Shaggy Dick Too tries to get Stiffener on a ‘no hash gear’ charge, but fails.
However, he has more success with a female visitor, Burning Sensation, and Open
To The Floor, who is in her ‘Flying out’ clothes and cops another drink.
Cock Radio has Open To The Floor back in. After losing her way in the car park at
last week’s run, how was she going to cope with such a large country as Ghana? Will
she get out of the airport? At this rate, will she make it to the airport?
Shaggy Dick Too has just had a breaking news newsflash 12 hours from now – ‘lady
thrown off plane drunk.’ Open To The Floor back in for another drink. Cock Radio
offers her a seat.
Kan Not Kan then asks Open to The Floor why she is going to Ghana – who gambles
there? At this stage, a taxi pulls up – is it Open to The Floor’s? No, it was a big
truck with green lights over cabin looking for a park.
The big truck was closely followed by Boxer, turning up with a farewell cake for
Open To The Floor. While the cake was cut, the charges continued fast and furious, I
could not keep up with scribing as I think I was involved in a few of them.
Anyway, things all got a bit emotional for Open To The Floor and we finally adjourned
to the Greasy Spoon.
And on that note, it’s on on on. See you mid January, off to OZ for 3 weeks. Merry
Christmas everyone and safe running.
Scribed by Cock Radio, with additional run report by Sneaky Comer.
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after
eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went
out to a new restaurant and it was really great... I would
recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the
name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
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Singapore Hash House Harriets: Address: Post Office Box #045 Farrer Road Post Office, Singapore 912802.
Web site: http://www.singaporeharriets.com
Singapore Hash House Harriets
News Letter
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man.
He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the
name of that restaurant we went to last night?'
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this, please email [email protected] when you have paid.
• Account: Singapore Hash House Harriets
• Bank: DBS
• Account Type: Current
• Account Number: 008-007442-9
2. Pay Assistant Hash Cash by Cash or Check at a run. Subs are $100 per
quarter for Ladies and $130 for Men.
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Singapore Hash House Harriets: Address: Post Office Box #045 Farrer Road Post Office, Singapore 912802.
Web site: http://www.singaporeharriets.com