October 2-9, 2014
34st.com
october 2
LOL
3 HIGHBROW
WISHESFROMTHEEDITOR
2014
Today, over a lazy lunch, a
friend of mine was telling me
how badly she just needs Fall
Break. "Don't you just need a
break right now?" she asked,
"I just need a break." I said I
knew what she meant, but I realized quickly afterwards that I
don't feel the same way.
I definitely know what it
feels like to just need a break.
In fact, I don't think there's
been a single break in all of
my college years that I haven't
needed. Exams seem to somehow always creep up all at once
right before breaks. Your sleep
deprivation seems to always
reach a shocking apex right
before breaks. Life seems to always just beat up on you right
before breaks.
roundup, in and out,
overheards, word on the
street
4 EGO
quidditch for muggles,
ego of the week
LOL
LOL
LOL
6 MUSIC
album review, elevator
songs, meet the penn
musician
8 FILM
fall break film guide,
skeleton twins, gone girl
10 FEATURE
sober at penn
13 FOOD & DRINK
lots of liquids
LOL
LOL
1 ARTS
my room at penn, king
lear, selfie game
But, for me, not this time.
This time, I can't wait to see
my boyfriend and to try some
new restaurants while I'm back
in Chicago, but I don't need
any breaks. What I need right
now is a genie who will let me
go back to freshman year in
the quad. I need time to slow
down. I need college to stop
slipping away so quickly. And I
need to listen to my boyfriend's
advice to never wish away time.
I'll enjoy every slow minute that ticks away until I get
to board a plane and leave my
stress behind for a while. Time
is too precious to wish away.
Our managing editor bumped his head and now he has
to sit in a dark room and avoid screens. Sorry if the
black boxes aren't as funny this week. It's not the same
without you, Dad.
18 LOWBROW
Do you miss Dad? Do you hope he feels better?
Send him a note at [email protected]
20 BACKPAGE
Writers' Meeting | 6:30p.m. | 4015 'Nut
off-campus housing
rankings
34TH STREET MAGAZINE
Chloe Bower, Draco Malfoy
Patrick Ford-Matz, Gilderoy Lockhart
Abigail Koffler, Minerva McGonagall
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Sarah Tse, Basilisk
Byrne Fahey, Mrs. Norris
Ling Zhou, Pansy Parkinson
Conor Cook, Colin Creevey
Emily Johns, Lee Jordan
Ciara Stein, Tonks
Nicole Malick, Luna Lovegood
Alyssa Berlin, Mrs. Figg
Ryan Zahalka, Barty Crouch Jr. under Polyjuice
Clare Lombardo, Hedwig
2
3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E O C T O B E R 2 , 2 01 4
Katie Hartman, Dobby
Alexandra Sternlicht, Severus Snape
Julia Liebergall, Dolores Umbridge
Marley Coyne, A butterbeer
Lucy Hovanisyan, Cho Chang
Mark Paraskevas, Seamus Finnegan
Justin Sheen, Norbert
Molly Collett, Fleur Delacour
Rosa Escandon, Madam Rosmerta
Adam Hersh, Remus Lupin
Ariela Osuna, Charlie Weasley
Patrick del Valle, Tom Riddle, Jr.
Sara Thalheimer, Filius Flitwick
Orly Greenberg, Lavender Brown
Giulia Imholte, Ginny Weasley
Diane Bayeux, Victor Krum
Rachel Rubin, Angelina Johnson
Cassandra Kyriazis, Sybil Trelawney
Casey Quackenbush, Moaning Myrtle
COVER DESIGN: Margot Halpern
BACKPAGE DESIGN: Ariela Osuna
Contributors: Amanda Silberling, Alli Greenstein, Ariel
Smith, Ben Lerner, Peishan Huang, Rebecca Gever, Hallie
Brookman, Danny Siegel, Alison Elliot, Lauren Chin, Mikaela Gilbert-Lurie, Harley Geffner, Manola Gonzalez,
Sarah Fox
Contacting 34th Street Magazine:
If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters
to the editor, email Chloe Bower, Editor–in–Chief, at
[email protected]. You can also call us at (215) 8986585. To place an ad, call (215) 898-6581.
VISIT OUR WEB SITE: www.34st.com
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No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without
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Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Thursday.
HIGHBROW
wordonthestreet
HIGHBROW'S OVERSIMPLIFIED
GUIDE TO RELEVANCE
IN
YOU'RE A WIZARD, HARRY
BY ABIGAIL KOFFLER
OUT
Pumpkin spice lattes
Pumpkin spice lattes
Postmates
GrubHub
Huntsman Late Nights
Zete Late Nights
Sushi burritos
Chipotle burritos
Actual jewelry
Flash tattoos
SAJ-ing
SABS-ing
Smoking with Shwayze
Smoking with Chance
the Rapper
THEROUNDUP
Listen up, little ones. Midterms may suck, but fall break is right
around the corner. In the mean time, put down your coffee because
Highbrow has the best stimulant on campus—gossip.
This fall, make sure to get a flu shot before you come down with
Alpha Phiver. At the sorority’s date night, one drunk attendee was
bored of Dave & Buster’s arcade games—and probably his date as
well. To entertain himself, the boy stole a security guard’s radio and
ran around the venue yelling into it: “where my bitches at?” When
the guard finally pinned the drunkard down, the boy vomited—all
over his uniform. Next time, Alpha Phi–males, keep your dates in
line.
Get ready for a curve ball. During an Owls late night, one brother
was drinking on the balcony when he looked up into his bedroom
window—only to see a burglar sifting through his closet. Sources
tell us the boy immediately grabbed his baseball bat, tackled the intruder to the ground and called the police. In two cigarettes’ time,
the cops arrived and subsequently arrested the robber. Highbrow applauds the brother’s courage—we will always feel safe under his wing.
Were you shwasted at Shwayze? Us, too. After his Skimmerfest
performance, our rapper friend hopped all around campus. Sources
tell us he hung out at HamCo, partied at SAE, and smoked in a
Radian apartment (ed. note: he’s almost 30). One Zeta caught his
eye, and the two have been texting all week—he even offered to fly
her out to California. It appears that Shwayze has learned to “bow
down to the crown”.
Apparently porta–potty head is passe. Highbrow hears that things
got rowdy at a Toby Keith concert. Turned on by southern charm,
one junior girl gave head to a fellow country music fan—until the
police intervened. Our friend was arrested for public indecency,
handcuffed and put in the back of a cop car. Looks like it really does
suck to suck.
over
heard
PENN
at
Zete boy: Yeah, we basically invented downtowns.
SDT senior: I can’t
wait to fast for Yom
Kippur so I can get
ready for Vegas.
Beta boy: I would
suck his dick to get a
job at Bain Capital.
Dumb girl in Houston: I need to take
an Adderall to get
through an episode of
“Scandal.”
Guy who needs a
room change: He’s a
really nice guy, he just
tends to beat the shit
out of me.
For the majority of my generation, the Harry
Potter series conjures up memories of magical childhood nights lined up outside of Barnes and Noble
and heated debates about which Hogwarts house
you would be in. But, until last week, those stories
meant nothing to me. I had never read any Harry
Potter books. I didn’t know what house I would be
in (although everyone who suggested Hufflepuff
can suck it). I never camped out for a book release
and I never thought about getting points for Gryffindor when I answered a question in class.
So why did I board the Hogwarts Express during
the fall of my senior year? Well, some of the thanks
goes to my roommate. She barraged me with just
enough Harry Potter references to make me feel out
of the loop and poked holes in my stalling strategy,
which entailed reading Harry Potter for the first
time with my (very theoretical) children.
But it was more than that.
It’s my senior year and I want to try new things.
So I cracked open the first Harry Potter book and
was transported into a magical world. I’ve heard the
characters and places referenced countless times,
but now I’m obsessed. I love discovering the stories
for myself, but the best part is discussing big moments of the series with friends and watching them
remember when they first read the same words.
Harry Potter somehow resonates with us all and the
world of Hogwarts feels relevant in so many ways.
As I get to know the characters, I want Professor
McGonagall to give me job advice, I want Hagrid
to be a bartender at Smoke’s and I want Harry to
worry less. I want to put the Dursley boy on a diet
and maybe in therapy.
It’s easy to get bummed about things that don’t
live up to your expectations—Barbuzzo’s salted caramel budino, I’m looking at you. That being said,
it’s equally as important to celebrate the things that
do. There are little things to appreciate, like taking
Penn Transit home from a bar or finding a new café
with great smoothies. I couldn’t think of a better
way to approach the rest of the year. The series will
end with Harry’s emergence into adulthood, much
like my upcoming graduation from Penn.
I’m in the middle of book four, but I want to
savor this. It’s a simultaneous distraction from the
ever–impending real world and a journey into a new
one, full of moral choices, secret threats and important relationships. When something big comes up,
I remember what Dumbledore once said: “It’s our
choices that define us, Harry, much more so than
our abilities.” It's time to make some big ones and
I'm glad to use a series of children's books as my
guides. See you at Platform 9 ¾.
O C T O B E R 2 , 2 01 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E
3
EGO
EGOOF THE WEEK: JORDAN HOLMES
This Sig Nu brother is all about Penn pride. Whether working it as the mascot or cheering with Red and Blue Crew, he never misses a game. Off the field/
court, he’s chief of Carriage (the LGBT senior society), a Pennacle leader, and an architect-in-training. And BTW—he’s technically a varsity cheerleader.
Street: When did you start being the
mascot?
Jordan Holmes: Freshman year! I was
walking down the activities
fair and I went to the
cheerleading table, and
they said “Come be
our cheerleader!”
and I’m like,
“Ha! no.” But
they were like,
“Then come
be the mascot!” So I “tried
out” for the mascot, and I got it.
Street: What does
being the Quaker involve?
JH: You have to go to all the
basketball and football games...
And then we do promotional
events...People request us for
birthday parties and bat mitzvahs. So if you’re looking for
a Quaker for your sister’s
bat mitzvah, call us.
We got you.
Street: What’s your best Quaker
memory?
JH:The most fun I’ve had is interacting with other mascots. I did a charity dinner and there were a bunch of
other mascots there from the Big 5 and
Drexel and it was hilarious (Ed. note:
Philly Big 5 = Penn, La Salle, St. Joe’s,
Temple and Villanova). We had a dance
competition, we were playing practical
jokes on each other—mascot to mascot
interaction is like watching little kids
interact.
Street: Tell us more about
Red and Blue Crew!
JH: We’re the student spirit
organization on campus—we
paint up, we’re loud and rowdy, we organize the roll outs at
basketball games. We organize
away game trips, so...we organize buses through Penn Athletics and give you discounted
tickets. Or free tickets sometimes!
Street: And how’s architecture going?
JH: It’s going. We’re making
an ice-fishing hut now, don’t
ask me why. It’s our first actual
piece of architecture that we’re
Street: Are you on the field when they building, so it’s exciting, but it’s
throw the toast?
very tedious as well.
JH: I don’t even try to avoid it. I know
that they’re going to try to hit me Street: Do you want to be an
anyway...I pretend to eat it, but because architect?
the mouth is over my eyes, I sometimes JH: That’s actually a good quesget toast in my eyes.
tion—my dream job would be
an Olympic consultant, where
Street: Do you have signature moves? you go around to different citJH: I dance... I shimey all the time.
ies that want to host the Olympics and tell them, “No you
can’t do that there!” Build this!”
Street: Have you ever fought the
Princeton Tiger?
JH: Yo. Of course. Shit gets bad when
the Princeton Tiger comes around.
Street: If you could live anywhere in the world where
would it be?
JH: Good wine, good views,
good people...I don’t know,
Greece?
Street: What’s on your Penn
bucket list?
JH: Go to a class in the Quaker
suit and act like it’s completely
normal. By the end of senior
year, it’s going to happen.
Street: So you’re strutting
down locust—which song
are you listening to?
JH: Shake it Off, Taylor Swift.
(Ed. note: he didn’t miss a beat)
Street: Give us a cheesy pick
up line.
JH: Are you from Tennessee?
Because you’re the only 10 I
see...
Street: Fill in the blank: There
are two types of people at
Penn...
JH: Those who love Penn and
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3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E O C T O B E R 2 , 2 01 4
those who wish they went to
Princeton—BYE.
Street: If you had a superpower, what would it be?
JH: Teleportation because fuck
walking.
Street: What is your spirit
animal?
JH: A husky because I absolutely love huskies. They are
adorable.
Street: If you could have a
drink with anyone in history
who would it be and what
would you drink?
JH: I would probably say
Nelson Mandela. We’d have a
Memphis Mule from the Fat
Ham.
Street: What’s the most disappointing present you’ve ever
gotten?
JH: A Burger King gift card! It
was $25...like woooo, go crazy?
Street: What’s the last thing
you bought?
JH: Muddy Buddies Chex Mix
at Wawa last night. It’s Chex
with peanut butter and chocolate covered in powdered sugar.
Street: Who’s your current celebrity crush?
JH: Chris Pine. Now and forever Chris Pine.
Street: What’s your favorite
place on campus?
JH: I think it would have to
be sitting on the stone benches
outside of the Palestra on Shoemaker Green.
Street: What was the first
concert you ever went to?
JH: It was Smashmouth,
Pussycat Dolls and Black Eyed
Peas. It was in middle school, it
was great.
Street: What will you be doing on this day in 10 years?
JH: How old will I be? 31.
Christ. I’ll probably be in
Greece with good wine, good
people, good views.
EGO
A team has seven players, each with a broom held tightly between their legs:
3 x Chaser: Plays offensive and defensive; passes the quaffle amongst teammates
and scores points by shooting it through the opposing teams hoops
1 x Keeper: Defends goal hoops, but may also enter gameplay to pass, defend and
score
Adding a little magic to campus, Quidditch has made its way
to High Rise Field. While at first it was difficult to find their
playing grounds, a few laps around the high rises finally revealed
a bevy of blue and red players. With the tri-part goalie rings and
intrigued onlookers, I knew I’d found the Quidditch team.
As I Rita Skeeter-ed around the action, taking pictures of the
frenzy of vibrant pines, hula hoops and brooms, I received many
invitations to join the game play. “Brooms are by the quaffles,”
chimed a friendly face from the field, “We could use an extra
player!” Knowing the rules from my Harry Potter marathons, I
gave it a shot. Grabbing my “broom”—really a glorified piece of
PVC pipe that required more than a little bit of imagination—I
stepped onto the grass ready to “fly.”
I joined the blue team and awkwardly galloped about while
the players around me seamlessly passed balls and shot them towards the goals (and at each other). Meanwhile, I was still trying
not to trip over my own broom.
After just a few minutes in the hot sun, I was sweating bullets.
But when I wasn’t panting or laughing at my own clumsiness, I
was incredibly into the match. Everyone was genuinely having
fun; the effect was contagious.
I, for one, am not a Harry Potter fanatic. But if you are—or
if you’re like me and love mixing the whimsical with the physical—pick up a broom and join the action. Work hard, fly hard,
as they say.
SARAH FOX
2 x Beater: Attempts to knock out other players and interrupt game play by chucking bludgers
1 x Seeker: Chases snitch and aims to catch the tennis ball in order to end the game
They play with:
6 x Goalposts
Muggle translation: hula hoops
on sticks
3 per team
14 x Broomsticks
Muggle translation: brooms
7 per team
1 x Quaffle
Muggle translation: a volleyball
3 x Bludgers
Muggle translation: dodgeballs
1 x Snitch
Muggle translation: a dedicated player who…
• Has a tennis ball, enclosed
in a sock, attached to his/
her waist
• Runs around the field
dressed in yellow, skillfully
eluding broom-wielding
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O C T O B E R 2 , 2 01 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E
5
MUSIC
ALBUM REVIEW
MEET THE
PENN
MUSICIAN:
ADAM REID
“ENCYCLOPEDIA”
THE DRUMS
Like so many other people, Adam Reid spends his time talking to people on the Internet and playing around on his computer. However, Reid is no Facebook stalker or Photo
Booth diva (although nothing is certain). Actually, Reid is a successful producer. Using his
keyboard, programs on his computer and sometimes samples from known tracks, he creates
the beats for hip-hop, R&B, EDM and pop tracks. He uses his SoundCloud, his website
(aboveavrageprod.com) and his YouTube channel to sell his music to people who then write
lyrics for it.
“So many people do music that you don’t really know,” Reid says. Through his music, he
has met many people online and at Penn who are aspiring artists. His music not only grants
him a side job and a community, but also a way to unwind. Reid uses producing to help
him relax when stressed.
Reid was introducted to music at a young age. He chose to conquer the saxophone in 4th
grade music class. He played in school concerts and participated in jazz band. With this,
he was following in his father’s footsteps. According to Reid, his dad “plays music all over
the house.” In 6th grade, Reid began messing around with GarageBand. However, he didn’t
start producing until his sophomore year of high school. Besides his father, Kanye West is
Reid’s biggest inspiration, because “he makes all his own music as well as writing his lyrics.”
Despite music playing such a big role in his life, Reid doesn’t see himself being a fulltime
music producer. Instead, he’s planning on going for a degree in psychology and fine arts. He
is excited to “keep music on the side of everything he does in life”, and continue producing
for creative and social reasons, but most importantly, for fun.
ALI GREENSTEIN
After three albums, The Drums have finally surpassed
one–hit–wonder indie stardom. Before their new album, the
NYC–based duo was best known for upbeat, alt–pop songs
like “Money” and “Let’s Go Surfing,” but with their new album “Encyclopedia,” The Drums have finally recorded an
album that can be easily listened to in one sitting without
getting bored. “Magic Mountain” is an eerie, slightly discordant opener, but the following song, “I Can’t Pretend” has the
catchiest of catchy beats. Though there are some dull spots,
“Encyclopedia” is a solid album. Next time you need some
fast–paced, happy sounds to motivate you to write that dreaded essay, check these guys out.
AMANDA SILBERLING
Grade: B
Download: “There Is Nothing Left”
Sounds best when: Pretending your life is a trailer
for an inspirational, coming–of–age blockbuster
instead of studying.
Hey you,
have you
heard of the
internet?
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MUSIC
We’ve all been there. Trapped by social convention, you stare desperately at the floor or the walls. If you speak up, the conversation will
quickly fall dead and leave you with at least four more floors of mind–numbing discomfort. The elevator is nothing less than the physical
epitome of a misanthropic, socially awkward culture. So, what songs describe your various Penn elevator experiences?
ARIEL SMITH
“THE END”
PEARL JAM
(Williams elevators)
“SAY SOMETHING”
A GREAT BIG WORLD &
CHRISTINA AGUILERA
(Van Pelt elevators)
“SAY MY NAME”
DESTINY'S CHILD
(Quad elevators)
You’ve spent the outrageously slow Williams elevator ride pretending to text,
even though you and all of your bilingual
elevator companions know that there is
no service to be found aboard this metal
box of doom. But finally, sweet release
approaches! You near the ground floor!
As you exit the elevator, the world is
suddenly a brighter place. You have escaped...at least until the next time.
You near the ground floor of Van Pelt after
a particularly grueling study session on the
6th floor, yet the one other person in the
elevator hasn’t said a word. The tension of
the silence is so palpable that it could be
cut with a knife. You’re both tired from
working, but still, they should make an effort right? Who is this person? What are
their hopes, their dreams? You see they are
wearing a One Direction shirt. “But why?”
you wonder to yourself. You will never
know and your nameless quasi-friend will
always remain an enigma.
“THIRST”
CITY AND COLOUR
(High rise elevators)
“SMELLS LIKE TEEN
SPIRIT”
NIRVANA
(College Hall elevators)
If you’re a freshman taking the elevators in the Quad, you
are no stranger to this predicament. At first, you are lulled
into a sense of false security after realizing that you know
the other person on the elevator. You begin to smile and
prepare yourself for the adventure of social interaction.
You’re going to have so many new friends this year! Alas,
the person looks at you with confusion and consternation—you are not recognized. You sadly retreat into the
corner and pretend you were smiling at the suspicious
smudge on the wall behind them. If only this person had
remembered your name. If only conversing with other
humans wasn’t so difficult. If only...
34st.com
like pornhub.com, but different
They’re like bamboo lemurs (rare), but
once in a blue moon you will encounter
the mysterious and fascinatingly beautiful
elevator companion—this person probably even smells good. The encounter
will undoubtedly happen in a high rise
elevator, which gives you plenty of time
to go through the five stages of grief after
you determine that they either are unattainable or taken. Whatever you’re eating
becomes embarrassingly messy and you
forget how humans stand normally. The
thirst, as they say, is real.
You encounter this situation at 9 a.m.
as you take the elevator in College Hall
out of sheer laziness. The trip alone is
the punishment for your sloth.The single
floor is one too many. You aren’t going
to make it. Your head begins spinning.
Have you ever held your breath for this
long before? “Please,” you think, pleading silently with your fellow elevator
adventurer, “Please learn the art of the
shower.” It isn’t teen spirit you’re smelling, but rather massive amounts of B.O.
that (you swear) isn’t your own.
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O C T O B E R 2 , 2 01 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E
7
FILM AND TV
REVIEW: "THE SKELETON TWINS"
From SNL to FML: Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader bring laughs and tears as clinically depressed twins in this winning dramedy.
Any “SNL” fan knows they have chemistry. They’ve shared the screen in
sketches like “The Californians” and “Secret Word.” And we know they have
the comedic chops: she’s Penelope and Dooneese and he’s, of course, Stefon.
But as twins in a dramedy with a decently serious premise? Yeah, they kill
that too.
The brilliant Kristen Wiig teams up with her former cast mate Bill Hader
to headline “The Skeleton Twins,” a laugh-out-loud funny, tenderly bittersweet, often heartbreaking family drama. Hader plays Milo, who attempts
suicide and subsequently repairs a long–estranged relationship with his
equally depressed twin sister, Maggie (Wiig). Milo moves in with Maggie and
her husband Lance (Luke Wilson, here nothing like his Emmett of “Legally
Blonde”), who is incredibly earnest but has little in common with his wife’s
gay brother. Sadness, sex and betrayal follow, but so does lip–syncing and a
scene with characters high on dental laughing gas.
You may have last seen Wiig on the big screen warning passengers about
a colonial woman churning butter on the wing of the plane, but this is not
“Bridesmaids” 2.0. Wiig has made onscreen strides into the dramatic since
her Oscar–nominated hit, including her performances in “Friends With
Kids,” “The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty” and “Girl Most Likely” (where
Street's taking a fall
break too.
We'll see you back here
on October 16th.
Stay on campus for all of your
salon needs
STOP IN FOR OUR FANTASTIC SERVICES!
Enjoy a manicure or pedicure, or try one of our waxing services
NEW, LONGER HOURS
Mon, 9am-6pm
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Near the 37th and Spruce St. Trolley Stop
215.222.9351
penncampushairsalon.com
8
3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E O C T O B E R 2 , 2 01 4
Wiig is also a suicide–attempt survivor), but this latest offering is probably
the most worth your time since her beloved tryst as Maya Rudolph’s maid of
(dis)honor. She didn’t co–write, and there’s no wedding–dress–store–food–
poisoning humor, but her charming onscreen interactions with Hader provide both laughs and tears.
“The Skeleton Twins” is not revolutionary—family dramas with heart and
wit come around every once in a while—but the film is done right with the
perfect balance of hilarity and heartache, which isn’t easy to master. In 93
minutes, you’ll grow to believe and feel for Maggie and Milo, largely thanks
to the leads’ supremely silly and deeply grounded performances.
And for those of you who never knew you wanted to see Phil Dunphy go
gay, you’re in for a treat: Ty Burrell of “Modern Family” is perfectly complicated as Milo’s much older ex–boyfriend.
Grade: A–
Rating and Runtime: R, 93 minutes
See if you liked: “Girl Most Likely,” “Away We Go”
BEN LERNER
REVIEW: “GONE GIRL”
This buzzworthy adaptation doesn’t disappoint.
“Gone Girl,” David Fincher’s powerful adaption of Gillian Flynn’s bestselling book, opens
with a voiceover that poses a few unsettling
questions: What are you thinking? How are you
feeling? Who are you? What have we done to
each other? What will we do? These questions
reverberate over the course of the movie, as Ben
Affleck and Rosamund Pike play husband and
wife in a domestic horror film that is consistently thrilling, enigmatic and dark.
Their story is set in North Carthage, a fictional Missouri town. We first meet Nick Dunne,
whose relationship with his wife Amy is on the
brink of collapse. It’s their fifth anniversary, and
what started out as a perfect fairy tale has slowly
disintegrated since the couple both lost their
jobs and moved from New York to Missouri to
take care of Nick’s dying mother. The story of
their marriage, which takes a quick turn for the
worse, is told through flashbacks woven into the
plot.
Soon after the movie begins, Amy goes missing. Nick returns home to a smashed coffee
table and calls the police, who find blood in the
kitchen. As the police, the town and the media enter crisis mode, the audience knows only
what Nick knows, which, as it turns out, isn’t
really much. The first half of “Gone Girl” is
structured as a mystery; the big reveal occurs in
the second half, when Amy finally begins to narrate her side of the story. The narrative is fairly
balanced, with Nick taking us through events as
they happen in first person, while Amy’s story
is partially told through detailed diary entries.
The two of them make an interesting pair:
Amy is neurotic and brilliant, the inspiration
for a beloved book series called “Amazing Amy”
created by her parents; Nick plays second fiddle
as an ordinary, flawed man with his share of issues. It is decidedly easier to sympathize with
Nick, especially as the movie progresses, but the
alternately dazzling and terrifying Amy is the
star of the show.
Though it has its share of shocking moments—the climax is horrifically violent—
“Gone Girl” never seems to strike a deep emotional chord. In spite of this, it is an enormously
clever, beautifully composed film that will not
fail to shock and thrill.
Grade: A–
Rating and Runtime: R, 145 minutes
See if you liked: “Zodiac”
PEISHAN HUANG
FILM AND TV
STREET'S GUIDE TO GETTING YOUR FALL BREAK FILM FIX
Staying at Penn?
Hosting friends
Hitting the road?
Cuddling up with your bff, your laptop
Watch “Sleepless in
Seattle” on Netflix
Throughout October, Netflix
will begin streaming a whole
host of new TV shows and
movies. If you’re staying at Penn
and you want to save “Gilmore Girls” for future bonding
with your mom, you should
definitely check out “Sleepless
in Seattle.” It’s a smart, funny
romantic comedy with Tom
Hanks and Meg Ryan doing
what they do best: making you
forget your singledom for a glorious 106 minutes. Plus, the
‘80s shoulder pads throughout
the movie are on point.
Available on Netflix
Binge watch
“Scandal”
Season four just premiered and
it’s finally time for mourning–
after discussions of last night’s
episode. That also means it’s
high time to sit down and look
back at the first three seasons.
Binge watching will only make
the fourth season that much
better, knowing all about Olivia and President Fitz’s history.
That way, when someone asks
you if you’re Team Fitz, you’ll
proudly be able to justify your
position.
Available on Netflix
REBECCA GEVER
HALLIE BROOKMAN
Visiting family
Visiting friends
See “Jimi: All is By My
Side” with your parents
“Jimi: All is By My Side” has a
little something for everyone.
Written and directed by John
Ridley, Oscar–winner for “12
Years a Slave,” “All is By My
Side” stars André Benjamin
(better known as André 3000
from Outkast) as Jimi Hendrix
and follows his ascent to fame
in London during 1966 and
1967. Producers couldn’t get
the rights to Hendrix’s estate,
so the film doesn’t have any of
his original songs. However, the
soundtrack makes up for it with
André 3000 covers of Hendrix
contemporaries like The Beatles
and the Rolling Stones.
In theatres nationwide
DANNY SIEGEL
CLARE LOMBARDO
Binge watch
“Transparent”
“Transparent,” the newest dark
comedy series from Amazon
Studios, stars Jeffrey Tambor as
Maura Pfefferman. Maura, formerly known as Mort, begins
her transition into a woman
and must reveal the truth to
her three adult children. When
they learn of their father’s sex
change, Maura’s children all
take a hard look at their own
lives. This heartwarming show
is unlike anything else on television and with only 10 half–
hour episodes, it’s a relatively
short binge.
Available on Amazon Prime
See "Whiplash"
This dark and intense drama
tells the story of the tense relationship between a young,
aspiring drummer and his challenging music instructor, and
it's the perfect way to spend an
evening with old friends. With
gripping performances from
rising star Miles Teller of “The
Spectacular Now” and the talented J.K. Simmons of “Juno,”
the film is certain to capture
your attention and thoughts for
days. It’s already received praise
from countless critics and film
festivals, so see it now and get
ready to act like a total hipster
when it comes up in conversation during awards season.
In theatres nationwide
ALISON ELLIOT
KeswicK cYcle
now sTocKinG:
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AND SWRVE APPAREL
& ACCESSORIES
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And has the largest
selection of new and used
bicycles in Philly
EVERYTHING YOU
NEED TO RIDE ALL
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#JAWNBETIGHT
save while in school!
Students get 10% OFF
non-sale bicycles and
accessories with valid
student I.D.
O C T O B E R 2 , 2 01 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E
9
F E AT U R E
W
e aren’t afraid to drink the spiked Kool-Aid.
We love our Kweder Tuesdays, our slap–the–
bag BYOs, our handle pulls in dark basements. We use phrases like “I’m trying to
blackout tonight” or “I’m too sober for this.”
Drinking is an enormous part of our culture—even Playboy knows
it. But despite the boozy aura surrounding our social life, not everyone is willing to take a shot.
Roughly 40% of Penn’s student body doesn’t spend Fling, St. Patrick’s Day or Homecoming as a member of the Banker’s Club. According to Penn’s Alcohol & Other Drug Program Initiatives, 4,000
of Penn’s 10,319 undergraduate students drink twice or less a semester. There’s Drug and Alcohol Peer Advisors (DAPA), a SubstanceFree Living Residential Program, but for most people who are sober
at Penn, living above the influence is just life.
Jamie* is a recovering alcoholic. A junior in Wharton, Jamie found
herself in rehab for the second time this past summer— the first
being her junior year in high school. She started drinking at age 12,
though she says she wouldn’t call herself “an early drinker.” Coming
from a family of heavy drinkers, alcohol didn’t seem like a big deal.
By age 16, Jamie was emancipated from her family and had added
cocaine to her routine.
After her first stint in rehab, Jamie arrived at Penn sober but immediately felt the “incredible pressure to make friends.” If she wasn’t
partying, she felt as though she would miss out. Jamie began going
out five to six times a week, drinking an average of 10-15 drinks a
night. “For a long time I was a highly functional alcoholic,” she says.
“I did feel pretty good about my life.”
The moral hangover was inevitable. Jamie knew she couldn’t continue like this much longer. “I realized that I valued blacking out
more than [I did] my friends and family,” she admits. “And that just
seemed really fucked up.”
Last summer, Jamie worked on recovery. She refers to her three
months in rehab as “tough love.” She suffered withdrawals and dealt
with the underlying issues of her alcohol abuse. During two weeks
of reflection and forgiveness, Jamie reached out to everyone she had
ever hurt due to her drinking problems. She learned that two–thirds
of everything you say when you’re drunk is a lie.
Jamie’s body also paid the toll for her drinking habits. Her enzyme
levels had suffered greatly, making her liver function like that of a
55-year-old man. Jamie will need to get her liver checked after college and speculates that she’ll never be able to drink again.
Although she says waking up sober is “one of the best feelings in
the world,” she’s still fighting temptation and facing withdrawals.
However, things are easier when she thinks about her future. “I think
about where I want to be in 5 years. I don’t want alcohol to deter
from that.”
Unlike Jamie, College sophomore Hope Mackenzie never found
alcohol appealing. She doesn’t want to rely on any sort of stimulus to
have fun. “I have a conscious mantra in my head: ‘you’re gonna have
a good time,’” she says. “And it’s normally pretty awesome.”
Hope has found a lot of support through Chi Omega. Although
she worried joining a sorority would be awkward, more often than
not her sisters’ comments range from “That’s really respectable,” to
F E AT U R E
“Here are my keys, remind me later.” None of them pass any judgment on her choice to be sober, which often gets a raised eyebrow
from strangers at parties. “You have to have a lot of confidence [to go
to] a frat party [sober],” she admits.
Despite her decision to be sober now, Hope doesn’t necessarily
believe she won’t always drink. It’s a choice she’ll make when she
turns 21, or perhaps if she studies abroad. Even so, she doesn’t think
she’ll ever drink to get drunk. Hope jokes, “I’ll just have to be very
confident in myself and order a seltzer and call it a day.”
Rocky Diegmiller ended his sobriety on the night of his 21st birthday, but not for legal reasons.The first time the Engineering senior
got drunk was on the stroke of midnight—Rocky remembers having
a group of 80–90 people around him ready with shots.
“I just thought to myself, this was really surreal that this many
people would come out to watch my first drink,” Rocky remembers.
“But that really just meant that without drinking, [I’d] made...this
many real friendships.”
Rocky doesn’t regret waiting until his 21st birthday to drink, but
it wasn’t always easy. He left parties by himself and wasn’t ready for
crowds of belligerent drunk people. Rocky ultimately rushed a preprofessional fraternity for fear of feeling alienated by Greek pledge
events involving alcohol.
Now, Rocky is a frequent patron of Smoke’s. “I see it as, I was just
late to the party and I guess that just makes me fashionable,” he jokes.
“We’re the top party school after I started to drink.”
For some, it’s not about what alcohol could be, but what it has
been.
College sophomore Kat McKay has a history of alcoholism in her
extended family. For her, the decision to be sober was not a hard one
to make. “It’s different to come home drunk to a family with a history of alcoholism,” she shares.
But Kat’s family history doesn’t define her, or her social life. “It’s
not like I hang out with sober people and we sit and tie-dye t–shirts
on a Friday night,” she jokes. Through Sigma Kappa and PennQuest,
she’s found a community of people who enjoy her company any
night of the week. Looking forward, she knows that drinking is not
just a part of Penn’s culture. “It is representative of the socialization
I’ll be in for the rest of my life,” she admits.
Drinking was a part of Mike’s* life until his sophomore year. The
Engineering senior found that alcohol aggravated his anxiety. “Being
drunk would make me nervous,” Mike says. “Because I was drunk, I
wouldn’t be able to control my anxiety. One of my reactions [was] to
throw up, and then throwing up [made] me [more] anxious.”
Without alcohol, Mike doesn’t have to be anxious about what he
did last night. “The result of not drinking is I don’t do anything horribly embarrassing,” he laughs. He may want to leave Smoke’s earlier
than others as the night gets rowdier, but he still has fun, especially
with his pre–professional fraternity, Theta Tau. Mike would like to
go back to drinking at some point, but for now he enjoys his sober
lifestyle.
At parties, Amber* doesn’t need liquid courage to be the first one
on the dance floor. “When Beyoncé comes on, I’m gonna be all over
this one!” she announces.
Amber believes people lean on alcohol to make themselves feel
more accepted, or socially relevant. But she thinks they’re forgetting
something. “We were all kind of weird in high school, let’s be real,”
Amber laughs. “People try to pretend they weren’t, and I’m like, I
know who you were in high school!”
A member of both a pre-professional fraternity and student government, Amber has found Penn to be very accepting of her sobriety.
Although she’s faced uncomfortable situations, she now laughs at her
original reactions. “The first couple of BYOs I went to, I ended up
paying for the alcohol because I didn’t feel like explaining to people I
didn’t drink,” she says. Amber also remembers the time she lied about
having too much work to go to a semi-formal; really, she didn’t want
to tell her prospective date she wouldn't be drinking.
For Sarah*, an Engineering sophomore, alcohol has been limited
to church wine. “Being raised Catholic made me know that I should
treat my body well,” she says. “I always think about how it’s said that
Jesus turned water into wine. Wine is a drink, and drinks are made
for us to enjoy, but not abuse.”
But abusing alcohol, or binge drinking, is perceived by many to
be the norm at Penn. Still, Sarah doesn’t regret signing up to live in a
“culture of excess.” And she doesn’t judge those who partake in it. She
has met many drinkers and nondrinkers alike in her dance troupe
and pre–professional fraternity. “No one should judge people who
drink,” Sarah points out, “because behind stumbling bodies, more
often than not, live hardworking, passionate and caring students.”
Like many of the people interviewed, Sarah references Penn’s
“work hard, play hard” mantra. But she doesn’t believe it means the
same for everyone; “we all work and play in different ways.”
Manola Gonzalez is a senior studying English, French and political
science from San Diego, California.
*Names have been changed to protect the anonymity of students.
1 0 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E O C T O B E R 2 , 2 01 4
O C T O B E R 2 , 2 01 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 1
FOOD & DRINK
AMAZIN’GREENS
GREENS
AMAZIN’
AMA
SA
SALADS!
SALADS!
AMAZIN’ GREENS
SALADS!
Classic Hot Buffalo
ClassicHot
HotBuffalo
Buffalo
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Sweet
BBQ
Bacon
Sweet
BBQ
Bacon
Classic Hot Buffalo
Sweet BBQ Bacon
Spicy
SpicyJalapeno
JalapenoPineapple
Pineapple
Spicy Jalapeno Pineapple
Spicy Jalapeno Pineapple
Crispy
Bacon
& Tomato
Crispy
Bacon
& Tomato
Crispy Bacon & Tomato
ORDER. TRACK.
TRACK. REVIEW.
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®®
OH
DID.
OH YES
YESOHWE
WE
DID.
YES WE DID.®
OH YES WE DID.®
e is not a tip paid to your driver. Our drivers carry less than $20. You must ask for this limited time offer. Minimum purchase required for delivery. Prices, participation, delivery area and charges may
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©2013Any
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vary. Returned checks, along with the state’s maximum allowable returned check fee, may be electronically presented to your bank. ©2013 Dominos IP Holder LLC. Domino’s®, Domino’s Pizza® and the modular logo
are trademarks of Domino’s IP Holder LLC. ©2013 The Coca-Cola Company, all rights reserved. “Coca-Cola” is a registered trademark of The Coca-Cola Company. “Coca-Cola” “Coke”, the contour bottle design and the
dynamic ribbon design are trademarks of the Coca-Cola company. All rights reserved. ©2013 The Coca Cola company, all rights reserved. “Coca-Cola” is a registered trademark of the Coca-Cola company.
215-557-0940
401 N. 21st St. • Philadelphia, PA
215-662-1400
4438 Chestnut St. • Philadelphia, PA
OPEN: SUN - THURS 10AM - 1AM FRI & SAT 10AM - 3AM
1 2 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E O C T O B E R 2 , 2 01 4
FOOD & DRINK
SO YOU'RE THINKING
OF TRYING
A short FAQ
Q: What is soylent?
A: A nutritionally complete food substitute that contains:
Macro–Nutrients:
Carbs: Mostly from oat flour
and maltodextrin (a derivative of
corn)
Protein: From brown rice
Fat: From canola oil and fish oil
(gotta get them Omega 3’s)
Micro­–Nutrients:
The complete set (read: a shit–
ton) of vitamins and minerals
your body needs, ranging from
the no–brainers (vitamin C, calcium, potassium) to the unfamiliar (…molybdenum?)
Q: What is soylent not?
A:
Organic
Non-GMO
Vegan
Gluten-free
Soy-free
Artificial sweetner-free
People
Day 2
Day 1
It’s 1:47 a.m. on a Wednesday morning and I’m standing in my dorm, staring at a boring
white bag with the word “Soylent” across the top. It’s odd to think that this bag, roughly the
size of an iPad mini, contains all the carbs, protein and nutrients I’ll need for the next 48 hours.
I take a whiff at the powder inside. At first, it smells like cookie dough. Then oatmeal.
Then…Playdough? After following the instructions (water+ powder + fish oil?), I end up with
a thick liquid that reminds me of chocolate milk. This is to be my breakfast…and lunch…
and dinner.
This is Soylent. Not like soylent green, a cannibalistic wafer from an old ‘70s. It’s the liquid
meal replacement invented to “take food out of the daily equation” and could potentially cure
world hunger. This is the blend that someone claimed to have exclusively consumed for seven
months without ever eating a single piece of food.
It tastes like watered down oatmeal protein powder. It’s not bad, and it’s certainly time–efficient since I now have nine minutes to speedwalk over to DRL. Two hours later I drink some
more and resume my day. Once I finish class at 3:00 p.m. I try and calculate how many calories
I’ve “eaten” so far. I’m running on about 320 calories since the morning. I know I normally
consume more by this point, so I drink 200 calories more.
Around 5:00 p.m. I get a mild headache. After reading the instructions manual, I learn that
this is what happens if you don’t slowly build your consumption to allow for your body’s adjustment to the new nutrient/fiber delivery system. I don’t want to experience any of the other
possible side–effects of quitting food cold turkey so I head to Kings Court and grab a bowl
of soup and some grapes. I’m feeling really healthy at this point, I feel optimistic that it is in
fact possible to avoid the Freshman 15. I go to sleep content and full on my Soylent and soup.
I wake up and drink about 200 calories. I’m craving an omelet.
Once classes end, I come back to the quad and drink 200 more
calories before I head off to the city. I come back, drink a little
more and go to a meeting. Not needing to spend time to sit down
and eat is extremely efficient. I like efficiency. But I also like food.
I miss it and it doesn’t help that my mom sent a care package of
dried mangoes and delicious asian ramen crackers.
On my way back, I make a grilled cheese with tomatoes and
have another bowl of soup. I definitely miss food. I feel a little
strange as I eat, almost as if I’m high from eating. Is it possible to
get high off of food?
I cheat again with an entire bag of popcorn, and then later a
bowl of instant ramen.
Day 3
Soylent goes bad after 48 hours once it’s in liquid form, so I’m
forced to make up a new batch this morning.
I cheat with a salad, and then later with pasta, rice and ice cream.
Throughout the night I feel very normal. I’m not more lethargic,
nor am I more energetic than usual. Probably because I ate so much
normal food.
Serving
Day 4
I wake up and realize I have to take my Soylent on the go. I leave the quad trying to drink
lukewarm Soylent from a bright red solo cup at 1:00 p.m. I look like an idiot.
Fast forward to the evening and I’m at a date night. I drink some pretty sugary drinks, but
they don’t count as “food” so that’s not breaking my vow of “no more food” for the day. While
my alcohol tolerance was definitely lowered by my lack of food, it’s not a drastic change and
I’m able to consume about two–thirds of what I normally would before I’m in a good place.
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Day 5
Waking up and hopping out of bed, I’m ready to start a whole day of no food and only
Soylent. I’m pumped for the day, excited to be healthy...and then I slip and bash my head on
the corner of my desk.
After a few hours of only Soylent and intense studying, I realize I slipped because I was clumsy,
not because I was light–headed or anything. My concentration is fine as long as I’m still getting my nutrients. I feel energetic as ever, colors seem brighter and I’ve saved so much time by
sitting and studying instead of leaving to get actual food. I can see why engineers everywhere
are jumping on this train.
But then again, this is only the fifth day. Check back with me when I’ve drank a whole month.
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FOOD & DRINK
#STREEEATS
Ingredients:
1 1/2 pounds lean ground
beef
A burger
for your
soylent
cheat day:
Kosher Salt
Pepper
Canola Oil
Directions:
Divide meat into 4 portions and form into patties. Season
both sides generously with salt and pepper. Head oil in a
grill pan (or preferably a cast iron skillet) until it begins
to sizzle and then add the meat. Cook on each side until
the outside turn golden brown, for about three minutes.
Remove from grill and begin the fun part…
Potential toppings:
Lettuce and tomato
Cheese (tip: if adding cheese,
do it while the burgers are
still in the pan and tent them
with aluminum foil while
the cheese melts)
Onion rings
Potato chips
Jalapeño slices and pickles
Caramelized onions (tip:
make your own by slicing onions and cooking them with
olive oil over a low heat until
they turn brown and sweet)
Fried egg
Bacon
Hamburger bun options:
pretzel bun, waffle, brioche,
texas toast, ramen
LIQUID LUNCH
Soylent three times a day definitely isn’t for everyone. If you’re still
looking to drink your meals though, try these alternatives:
ALYSSA BERLIN
1. The Groothie: A HipCityVeg drink and a sorority girl staple,
this meal replacement smoothie gets all your servings of fruits and veggies into one drink. Ignore the green color and drink up.
2. Pangea Earth Foods: Based out of Philadelphia, this juice
joint makes cleanses to order and allows for pickup across the state
(including from a location on South 17th street). These juices are
completely natural and unpasteurized, leaving all the goodness of the
nutrients in the drinks.
3. The Juice: These juices are aimed at athletes and therefore
contain more plant–based protein, along with more plant fibers.
Currently, the owner is working from home on custom orders but is
starting to connect with fitness joints around Philadelphia. Hopefully,
the juices will be available via food truck by spring.
4. Yellow Juice Bar: Missing the Juice Generation you lived
off of this summer in NYC? This juice bar, just minutes away from
campus, is your favorite juice stop’s first cousin. Yellow Juice Bar is
filled with fruit and vegetable options, leaving you with a juice for
every meal.
FAQ courtesy of
www.soylent.me:
"Do You Poop On
Soylent?
Mon & Tues- CLOSED
Wed & Thurs- 5pm-9pm
Fri- 11-2pm + 5-10pm
Sat- 9am-2pm + 5-10pm
Sun- 9am-2pm
Soylent contains
plenty of insoluble
fiber so bowel
movements are
more or less unchanged."
We're not
convinced.
1 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E O C T O B E R 2 , 2 01 4
ARTS
STEPHEN MASSO
On the afternoon I visit, I walk into Stephen Masso’s room
eating pizza rolls which his friends/lovers have cooked in
the kitchen on the floor below. The hospitality and social
environment is appropriate for a space created as much for
Stephen’s friends as for himself. “My room’s for beers and
bitches,” he laughs. The space has a relaxed feel, the kind of
room you want to stay up with your friends and smoke in
til 4am. There’s a low table with space for people to lounge
around, and a laid-back atmosphere created by artfully mismatched furnishings and artefacts.
Stephen is an Engineering senior, and if OCR doesn’t pan
out you’ll be seeing him on next season’s “Extreme Hoarders." He is a collector. The biggest wall space is occupied by a
collage of things he’s accumulated: prizes (“MOST LIKELY
TO LACTATE”); photos; a drawing of a bunny found in
the Charles Plaza bathroom, drawn by Charles himself.
The mural snowballed from a single artefact, a letter from
Stephen’s dad, and has become something of a home-improvement tiling project. Grow your own wall-paper: just add
life experience. “What’s your favorite thing?” Stephen points
out two open, interlocked scissors, taped in a hilarious and
sexual engagement. Scissors scissoring. Exploring his room,
sub-collections of the collection emerge, like a row of beanies
pinned onto corkboards, or copies of Playboy displayed like
coffee-table books.
The chill vibe comes as much from outside the room as
from within it. Located on the 2½ floor of a corner house on
Pine Street, Stephen’s room is in the trees: two large windows
face right into the branches and leaves of the trees outside.
The room looks like a Normcore-Lisa Frank mash-up in a
tree house. What could be more beautiful.
The Philadelphia Orchestra
UNLIMITED
CONCERTS
$25 Membership
eZseatU
College Ticket Program
Presented by
Join now and learn more at
Photo: Pete Checchia
www.philorch.org/ezseatu
O C T O B E R 2 , 2 01 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 5
ARTS
A SELF(IE) PORTRAIT
My Facebook cover photo is a
picture of me standing in front of a
large, colorful art piece at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I didn’t
know who the artist was and I didn’t
know what the piece was called. But
damn, did I look artsy.
I realize that I’m part of the problem. When I saw “Spectrum V” by
Ellsworth Kelly at the Met, my first
thought wasn’t, “Wow, what an interesting artwork!” It was, “Wow,
what an interesting mupload!”
To be fair, my Met visit this summer was the first time I ever went
to a famous art museum, so I was a
bit overly excited. Even though my
Facebook profile still shows blatant
evidence of my art ignorance, my
vastly more mature, three–months–
later–self can’t help but feel annoyed
while I walk through the Philadelphia Museum of Art and see teenagers take selfies with Van Gogh’s
“Sunflowers.”
Art doesn’t begin and end with the
piece itself—part of art is the way
that its viewers interact with it. Is
taking selfies with art a positive reaction? Should curators care if some
teens just want to make their Insta-
gram look interesting?
Selfies stir up controversy in the
art world more than what one might
expect. Sir Peter Bazalgette, Chair
of the Arts Council England, thinks
that when people have something
digital to take away from a gallery it
facilitates the spread of art. He also
suggested, however, that galleries
should allow one hour a day when
selfies are banned—sparking mass
controversy and discussion.
Not all art aficionados are anti–
selfie. Cindy Sherman is essentially
famous for selfies, and the Moving
Art Image Fair in London curated
the “National #Selfie Portrait Gallery” in 2013. This summer, leading
up to the demolition of Brooklyn’s
historic Domino Sugar Factory, Kara
Walker promoted her exhibit—a
sphinx made of 80 tons of sugar—
through the hashtag “#KaraWalkerDomino.” Walker wanted to use the
uploaded photos to create an interactive, 3D model of the sculpture so
that the art could live on after the
Domino Sugar Factory was demolished.
The selfie problem is also rooted in
our desire to portray ourselves on so-
Yom Kippur at Penn
2014-5775
Service Times
Candle lighting 6:23 pm
CONSERVATIVE
ORTHODOX
REFORM
Friday, Oct. 3
Friday, Oct. 3
Friday, Oct. 3
Kol Nidre Services 6:10pm
Student led at Steinhardt Hall
Community Service at Irvine
Auditorium
Saturday Oct. 4
Morning Serices 9:00 am
Yiskor after 11:30 am
Student led at Steinhardt Hall
Community Service at Irvine
Auditorium
Afternoon & Evening
Services 5:00 pm
Student led at Steinhardt Hall
Community Service at Irvine
Auditorium
Fast Ends 7:20 pm
Kol Nidre Services 6:10pm
Bodek Lounge, Houston Hall
Saturday Oct. 4
Morning Serices 8:30 am
Yiskor after Shacharit
Bodek Lounge, Houston Hall
Afternoon & Evening
Services 4:15 pm
Bodek Lounge, Houston Hall
Fast Ends 7:20 pm
Kol Nidre Services 6:10 pm
Student led at Steinhardt Hall
Community Service at Harrison
Auditorium
Saturday Oct. 4
Morning Serices 10:00am
Student led at Steinhardt Hall
Community Service at Harrison
Auditorium
Afternoon & Evening
Services 5:00 pm
Yiskor at 5:00 pm
Community/Student Services at
Harrison Auditorium
Fast Ends 7:20 pm
For more information about Break the Fast with Penn Hillel
go to www.pennhillel.org
Holiday meals will be served following services
Falk Dining Commons, Steinhardt Hall.
1 6 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E O C T O B E R 2 , 2 01 4
cial media in the best light possible.
We want our friends to see us hanging out around a Rembrant self–
portrait. We want to make it seem
like we go to concerts, museums and
art galleries every weekend, where
we hang out with our cool, artsy
friends. We want to appear more
cultured than we really are.
There’s no use in resisting the
force of the social media generation,
but we also need to appreciate and
respect the history of art. I’m still
going to feel annoyed when I see
people pose beside Picassos, but I’m
excited to see how the next generation of artists incorporate social media into their work. Take your selfie,
post that Insta, and update your
cover photo—but first, just think
about what your Art History professor would say.
AMANDA SILBERLING
Are you hungry? Maybe in the
mood for a little snack?
Well, in only 13 short days
you can get inspired by
Street's fall dining guide.
We'll be fasting until then.
ARTS
GLOBE THEATRE ON TOUR
PRESENTS KING LEAR
King Lear: fresh
prince was only
preliminary
Last week, The Shakespeare Globe came to
the Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts
to perform King Lear.
The production is touring on a small scale, Elizabethan–
style stage, choosing to keep the house lights on for the entire
performance in order to mimic the outdoor stage experience
the audience would have at the real Globe. Everything going
on in the show happened on the stage. Many of the costume
and set changes were on stage, and the actors made all of
their own sound effects. There was no special lighting or
background music that was not produced on the stage itself.
King Lear is arguably the most challenging of Shakespeare’s plays to perform. The titular king is supposed to be
in his eighties and many other characters have to be evil but
not totally one–dimensional. Having seen multiple other
productions of the play, I left this one feeling confused and
disappointed, after having such high hopes for the company
that carries the name of Shakespeare’s original theater.
This rendition of the play assumed a lot of previous
knowledge from the audience. Granted, it is probably fair to
assume that their audience is full of Shakespeare fans, who
have studied, or at least read, the play’s text before. Even
though this was true for me, it was not for many of the
Penn students I was surrounded by. On a university campus
where student tickets were being sold for ten dollars, the
seats weren’t only filled with Shakespeare freaks or Theater
Arts majors. It is particularly bothersome that prior knowledge was assumed when considering that no one in Shakespeare’s time would have been able to read the text before
going to the theater.
What made the show the most challenging for a non–familiar viewer was the fact that six of the nine actors had to
portray more than one character. Usually slight additions
or subtractions to costumes helped to clarify, but it still required extra attention from the audience. However, Bethan
Cullinane did a particularly good job as both Cordelia and
the Fool, while Alex Mugnaioni stole the show when he was
portraying Poor Tom. The costumes belonged more in a Jan
Steen painting than in pre–Christian Britain. Throughout
the show, the actors randomly burst into a sea shanty or two,
despite the fact that no one in the play travels anywhere by
sea.
While it was definitely entertaining at points and picked
up significantly after intermission, the play ended up feeling
longer than the three–hour run time. The Globe Theatre
On Tour’s performance did not stick to the original enough
to feel like a real loyal tribute, but it did not deviate enough
to be a fresh or modern take on the text. I stopped thinking
about the play about five minutes after I had left, which is
not the way anyone should feel after encountering one of
Shakespeare’s most thought–provoking pieces.
KATHERINE HARTMAN
Still need housing for
next school year?
Call us today.
We’d love to help you find a great place.
www.apartmentsatpenn.com
215.222.0222
At Penn, At Home.
Join over 30 Art and Culture
organizations from Philly and
Penn for information, prizes,
and performances.
DON’T MISS OUT ON THE FUN!
OCTOBER6
5:00 - 6:30pm
Tuttleman Auditorium
ICA
118 South 36th Street
Philadelphia, PA
CONTACT:
[email protected]
O C T O B E R 2 , 2 01 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 17
LOWBROW
MOVING ON OFF: A GUIDE TO OFF CAMPUS LIVING
People who have parties on
Tuesdays and the people
who go to these parties. You
are not invited.
Penn owns this, maybe it’s classrooms or something. I think a Cinema Studies professor has an office
there, or maybe it’s his house?
You can just tell that they are rich,
but still living in this shitty neighborhood. They have made some
weird life choices.
House full of centaurs. Every block has
one.
Old woman. Why does she live in this
neighborhood? Doesn’t she hate all of
us? Has she always lived here? So many
unanswered questions.
Guy who definitely has a dog.
Maybe more dogs. That can’t
be allowed in the lease.
They definitely play a sport,
maybe rowing or, like, fencing? Is
fencing a thing here?
Literally the worst. Everyone hates her. She’s that
guy. Need we say more.
My Roommate is a Serial Killer
So, your roommate keeps leaving you grocery lists written in ransom-note format, insists that
you "stay the fuck away" from the "collection" under her bed and refuses to return the Dexter
DVDs she rented from Netflix. She might be a serial killer. Here's how to deal.
1
Use “I” statements rather than
“you” statements. For example,
“It makes me uncomfortable
when I find a severed human
head in the vegetable crisper,”
as opposed to, “You’re a serial
killer, can you stop?”
1 8 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E O C T O B E R 2 , 2 01 4
2
Set up a chore wheel.
She doesn’t want to take
out your gross trash and
you don’t want to clean
the blood off of her
chainsaws all the time.
3
Cult compound.
TRUE
LIFE
Set boundaries. If you’re the kind of
person who doesn’t want to hear the
muffled screams of an innocent person
as the life is slowly drained out of them,
ask your roommate to politely put a
sock on the door so you know when
something is going on.
LOWBROW
Dear College Apartments,
Dear College Apartments,
I just wanted to send you a super quick
email with a few maintenance requests
for our house on 4666 Spruce. First of
all, some of the paint is peeling in the
living room, so I’m hoping you could
send someone over to repaint it. The
window on the second floor is also
stuck and it would be great if you could
help with that. One other thing is that
in the dead of night there’s an uncanny wailing, as if from the very depths
of hell itself and my roommate on the
third floor hears eerie whispers that the
dead will rise to exact revenge.
Sorry to bother you again. All week
long, the lights have been suddenly going out as a booming voice proclaims
the coming of the end of time and my
roommate has begun gibbering meaninglessly. I would really appreciate if
someone could come over to sort this
out.
Dear College Apartments,
Thanks so much! I was just wondering
if you’ve had any time to think about
dealing with the last problem I mentioned? When I woke up this morning
my walls were covered in unintelligible
runes that appeared to be written in
blood, so it would be very helpful if we
could try and come up with a solution.
Thanks,
Alison
Dear 4666 Spruce,
Thanks,
Alison
Dear 4666 Spruce,
Issues with power should be taken up
with PECO.
Best,
College Apartments
Thanks,
Alison
Unfortunately, we won’t be able to
come repaint the walls until the end
of the semester. Someone from our
office will stop by to unstick that window tomorrow between 8 a.m. and
10 a.m.
Dear 4666 Spruce,
Attention Mortal,
Please remember that any decorations
on the walls have to be painted over
before the end of your lease.
Best,
College Apartments
Best,
College Apartments
Alison is no longer your tenant. There
is no Allison. She resides among the
spirits now, and this house belongs to
Ba’al, God of Darkness.
Also, the window on the second floor is
stuck again.
Lowbrow has never actually lived off campus, they
never let us leave the 34th Street offices.
My Roommate is a Serial Killer
4
If you are having a party, feel free
to ask your roommate to clean
up first. Clutter gets in the way
of the fun—no one wants to turn
up in a basement filled with dismembered bodies.
5
TRUE
LIFE
If you finish the orange juice,
just buy more orange juice,
don’t turn it into some whole
passive–aggressive thing.
CREATIVE • BALANCED • SIMPLE
1608 SOUTH STREET • PHILADELPHIA, PA
215-790-0330 • ENTREEBYOB.COM
O C T O B E R 2 , 2 01 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 9
B AC K PAG E
2 0 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E O C T O B E R 2 , 2 01 4