Week 4 – Building Respect
OVERVIEW OF WEEK
WORD OF THE WEEK
Respect
ROLE MODEL WEDNESDAY
Quiz and discussion on Chapter 4 – Dwight D.
Eisenhower. Be sure to emphasize the importance
of respect during the discussion.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Selfrespect leads to self-discipline. When you have
both firmly under your belt, that’s real power.
~ Clint Eastwood
LEADERSHIP THURSDAY
WEEK 4 SKILL – Note-taking
WEEK 4 SPEAKER
– ____________________________
WEEK 4 LEADERSHIP PRINCIPLE
POINTS OF EMPHASIS
• Establish a high standard for respecting parents,
authority figures and significant others.
• Help students understand that respect has different meanings to different people. Reinforce
the importance of understanding what the term
means to themselves and to others.
• Use personal examples to role model respect
for significant others.
• Create a class agreement on using respectful
language in the classroom.
ETHICAL MONDAY
• Present an overview of the week by showing
the Week 4 Power Point presentation.
• Direct students to fill out quote exercise and
follow with a discussion.
• The ethical dilemma is geared around helping
students develop guidelines for treating the
opposite sex appropriately in relationships.
• Consider serving as a role model to the class
and discuss personal examples of your past and
present relationships with significant others.
CHARACTER MOVIE TUESDAY
Coach Carter
Street Traffic Circle
– Respect is a Two-Way
This lecture is located at characterandleadership.
com. Click on the Leadership Principles Button.
ASSIGNMENT FRIDAY
1) Write your personal philosophy about how
females and males should treat each other.
How do you live up to this philosophy?
2) List three things that could happen in a relationship that would let you know you were being
disrespected.
3) Self-respect is just as important as respecting
others. If you were in a relationship and your
partner was treating you in ways that were
disrespectful (your answer to question 2),
how would you handle the situation? Explain
your answer.
ATTENTION
Be sure to check www.characterandleadership.com and
click on the blog button to view the weekly post. Dr. Hoedel
puts links to current events, provides commentary and
asks discussion questions. To receive notifications about
blog posts, instruct students to “follow” us on Twitter @
CDandLeadership and use #CDandL or “like” our page
on Facebook at Character Development & Leadership.
Students are encouraged to provide respectful comments
in and outside of class. © 2014 Character Development & Leadership: Skills That Last A Lifetime
Week 4 – Building Respect
QUOTE EXERCISE
RESPECT
How would you define this trait?_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
Definition provided by teacher:______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
“Respect your efforts, respect
yourself. Self-respect leads
to self-discipline.When you have
both firmly under your belt,
that’s real power.”
~ Clint Eastwood
What does this quote mean to you?___________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
© 2014 Character Development & Leadership: Skills That Last A Lifetime
Week 4 – Building Respect
ETHICAL DILEMMA – PAGE 1
Showing Respect
1. Adults often complain that kids today don’t show as much respect to their parents and other adults as
kids from past generations. Do you agree or disagree? Why?
2. Respect is very important to Americans. The problem is that our individual definitions of respect
differ. What is respectful to one might be disrespectful to another. If somebody was showing you
respect, what would she/he be doing?
3. What specifically do you do to show respect to authority figures in your life?
© 2014 Character Development & Leadership: Skills That Last A Lifetime
Week 4 – Building Respect
ETHICAL DILEMMA – PAGE 2
4. How much do you respect various people in your life?
Parent Figure
_________________________________________________________________________________
1
2
3
4
5
very disrespectful
disrespectful
depends
respectful
very respectful
Teachers
_________________________________________________________________________________
1
2
3
4
5
very disrespectful
disrespectful
depends
respectful
very respectful
The Opposite Gender
_________________________________________________________________________________
1
2
3
4
5
very disrespectful
disrespectful
depends
respectful
very respectful
5. As you analyze your responses:
A. Is there a difference in the way you show respect to these groups of people? How do you explain
these differences or similarities?
B. How can you improve the way you respect these groups of people?
© 2014 Character Development & Leadership: Skills That Last A Lifetime
Week 4 – Building Respect
LECTURE
Respect In Relationships
The instructor is encouraged to create her/his own lecture
to express how men and women should respect each
other in relationships. Because respect is such an individualized term, the single best way to bring meaning to the
lecture is to personalize it. No statistics or exercises can
substitute for good old-fashion personal stories. When
I taught this course, students seemed to remember this
one above all the others.
If you are married or in a relationship you can talk about
the intricacies of your relationship and the various ways
you respect each other. This is your chance to be a role
model and give your students something to strive for
in their future relationships. If you are not in a serious
relationship, you might want to discuss past relationships,
relationships you respect or your relationship with your
parents.
The following is a list of topics you may want to
incorporate into this lecture:
•The story of how you met and the feelings
associated with that moment
•The thoughtful and/or crazy things you did
when you first began dating
•What you had to overcome or sacrifice to
be with this person
•Interesting dating stories
•The story of how you proposed
•The story of your wedding day
•Describe your relationship and the process of
setting up a solid relationship
• Dividing household chores
• Developing a financial plan and monetary rules
• Learning to fight fairly and settle arguments
• Learning lessons or creating mottoes about
marriage
• Traits you think are essential to marriage
• Handling parenting responsibilities
•Lessons you have learned about marriage and
advice you might offer
•Specific ways you respect your partner now
and in the past
•Mistakes you’ve made and what you learned
Discuss differences between the way this generation
shows respect for authority vs. previous generations:
• Specific ways you showed respect for your
parents
• Specific things your parents did if you failed
to show respect
• Specific ways your parents made sure you
learned about character
• Ask students to go home and ask their parents/
guardians how well they feel they respected
their parents when they were teenagers. Have
a discussion about what has/has not changed
and factors that play a role.
© 2014 Character Development & Leadership: Skills That Last A Lifetime
Week 4 – Building Respect
LECTURE – PAGE 2
Of all the stories I tell, this one is best remembered
and really challenges students to rethink how they
act in dating relationships.
My wife, Sally, is an attractive, outgoing woman.
When we began dating, we were both in college
and often went out to bars to listen to live music.
She would periodically get hit on by men at these
bars. One night at a bar, I was returning from the
bathroom and found a guy talking with Sally.
Instead of confronting this man, I decided to wait
and watch this interaction from the other side of
the bar. Sally was polite and friendly, but a few
minutes later the man walked away. I went back
to my seat and nonchalantly asked her if I missed
anything exciting. She said, “Yes, a guy bought
me a beer, sat down and eventually asked for my
phone number.” A little shell-shocked, I asked,
“What did you do?” She calmly responded, “I
told him that I was here with my boyfriend and I
wasn’t interested, but thanks for the beer.”
This was quite a relief and a refreshing revelation.
I didn’t need to intervene. Sally could take care of
herself. Furthermore, I couldn’t keep guys from
hitting on her and I didn’t need to try.
That night, we made a pact. If any man ever hit
on her, I would not intervene unless she gave me
a sign or asked me to intervene on her behalf.
This rule stuck and in the past six years of dating
and marriage, only one time had she asked me to
intervene.
The moral of the story is my wife can take care
of herself and she doesn’t need me to barge in
and protect her. This pact is my way of showing
respect for Sally and she appreciates it because
she knows how much she is trusted. Furthermore,
because I have seen her take care of herself, I have
no worries when she goes out with her girlfriends.
Many comments and questions usually ensue –
usually about the level of disrespect these guys
have for me. Many of the students even view me
as weak. However, by the end of the conversation,
most see the positives in this strategy. Frequently,
the older students discuss this pact with their
significant other and consider using this approach.
And another seed is planted!
Make this lecture your own and inspire your students to treat each other with respect and dignity.
© 2014 Character Development & Leadership: Skills That Last A Lifetime
Week 4 – Building Respect
CHARACTER MOVIE – COACH CARTER
OVERVIEW
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
This movie is based on the real life events of
Coach Ken Carter and his experiences as a basketball coach in California. He is a tough-minded
coach who makes a big impression on his players.
To be on his team, players had to sign contracts
relating to their academics. When the students
fail to keep their end of the bargain, Coach Carter
cancels all games and practices. In the process he
teaches his players to respect him, their academics, the game of basketball, different cultures and
ultimately themselves.
1) Scene 3 depicts Coach Carter encountering
disrespectful players. In response, he must first
establish discipline, respect and clear expectations.
Most adults love to see scenes like this because
they know how important it is to teach these
lessons. Why does it seem that the next generation
of kids have to learn these lessons the hard way?
MORAL OF THE STORY
3) Coach Carter helped his students learn respect
for the game of basketball and academics. He
taught them to respect their own culture and
themselves. Specifically, what did he do to teach
these things?
Respect is a two way street. In order to receive it,
we must give it and earn it in return.
SELECTED SCENES
Scene 3 (8:45 – 15:16)
Scene 5 (20:00 – 24:32)
Scene 9 up to 53:16 (46:04 – 53:16)
Scenes 15 & 16 (1:25:00 – 1:34:44)
Scenes 18 & 19 (1:39:15 – 1:50: 27)
Scene 23 (2:07:36 - 2:11: 28)
(be sure to watch credits)
Total 7 minutes
4 minutes
7 minutes
10 minutes
11 minutes
4 minutes
43 minutes
2) Coach Carter initially gave his players immediate respect. Some of the players did not return that
respect. For you, is respect given or does it have to
be earned?
4) Respect was finally given back to Coach Carter
when his players decided not to play, even though
the school board voted to reopen the gym (scene
16). They finally understood that he was doing all
of this for their benefit. Are you able to understand
that when adults are being strict, they are doing it
for your best interest?
5) Most sports movies have scenes consistent with
those in Coach Carter – a tough-nosed disciplinarian coach must teach his arrogant players respect,
discipline, hard work. This seems to be accepted
by most athletes. Do you feel that it is okay for
teachers and parents to be just as strict and
demanding?
6) In the process of trying to hold his players
accountable, Coach Carter encountered resistance
from parents, teachers and administrators. How
do you think your community would respond if
a coach cancelled the games of an undefeated
athletic team at your school due to academic
reasons?
© 2014 Character Development & Leadership: Skills That Last A Lifetime
Week 4 – Building Respect
DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER QUIZ
1. General Eisenhower was in charge of the following military operation:
A. D-Day in Normandy C. K-Day in Germany B. H-Day in Korea
D. M-Day in Afghanistan
2. Eisenhower went to which university?
A. West Point C. Kansas State B. The Citadel
D. University of Texas
3. After the military, Eisenhower went on to have a successful career in politics. He went on to be vice
president of the United States.
True
False
4. As a child Eisenhower had a character flaw he had to overcome. What was this flaw and how did he
overcome it?
5. Give one example of how Dwight D. Eisenhower earned respect, and give one example of how he
showed respect.
6. Eisenhower demonstrated that in order to earn respect, you must first give it. What do you do to show
respect to adults in your life?
© 2014 Character Development & Leadership: Skills That Last A Lifetime
Week 4 – Building Respect
BASIC SKILL
BASIC SKILL
Cell Phone Etiquette
INTRODUCTION
According to a 2013 Pew Research Study, 91% of
adults have a cell phone as do 78% of teenagers
(12-17). At the same time, 79% of American
Citizens feel that disrespectful cell phone usage
is on the rise. Conversely, only 8% feel their cell
phone usage is disrespectful or annoying to others.
Clearly, cell phones are here to stay. They are
a part of our society. They represent amazing
technological advancements in communication,
information and safety. It is arguably as big an advancement as the auto- mobile. However, with the
automobile came a set of laws, norms and expectations. This is not the case with cell phones. Why?
There are many reasons, but generally speaking,
what is considered rude to one person is not rude
to another. Thus, there is no set standard for cell
phone usage. With that being said, here are some
general guidelines that will serve you well.
Before listing specific guidelines, it should be noted that common sense and respect should govern
our cell phone usage. For instance, talk quietly in
a small room or value face-to-face friendship more
than a phone call, text or social media comment.
CELL PHONE COURTESY (PUBLIC PLACES)
(1) People have a tendency to speak twice as loud
into a cell phone than they normally do, despite
cell phones having sensitive sound technology.
When in public places:
• Deliberately lower your voice when speaking
on the phone.
• Keep a reasonable distance (most say 10 feet)
when having a conversation in public.
• If possible, text when in public places (airports,
restaurants and stores).
• Tell person on the phone where you are and that
you need to keep your conversations short.
• Turn down/silence your ringer and refrain from
using annoying ring tones.
• Filter your language and keep personal conversations personal.
• Don’t air your dirty laundry or carry on arguments on a cell phone in public.
(2) Remember that your phone has voicemail. Let
voicemail do it’s job. Just because someone calls
you, it doesn’t mean you have to answer it. Likewise, just because someone texts you, you don’t
have to instantly read it or respond within a certain
time-frame.
UNDERSTANDING CONTEXT
(3) Be respectful enough to understand that there
are certain places and circumstance where you
need to turn your phone on vibrate (waiting rooms,
airports, museums, bathrooms, elevators, restaurants).
(4) Be respectful enough to understand that there
are certain places and circumstances where turn
your cell phone off or don’t take your phone (library, job interviews, church, class, weddings, live
performances).
(5) Have enough common sense to understand that
your friends might have a different set of norms
when out on a Friday night than when you go visit
a relative.
(6) End phone calls when an employee is waiting
on you (bank, restaurant, store...).
© 2014 Character Development & Leadership: Skills That Last A Lifetime
Week 4 – Building Respect
BASIC SKILL CONTINUED
PROPER ETIQUETTE WITH OTHERS
(7) Generally speaking, it is up to you to gauge
what other people find rude or offensive, rather
than it being up to others to deal with your cell
phone usage.
(8) Don’t interrupt a face-to-face conversation
to answer a phone call or a text. Very few people
want to sit in a restaurant on a date while you have
a conversation with someone who is not there.
(12) Take the time to ask your employer and/
or your teacher what is allowed and what isn’t
allowed. Every job and every class has rules and
norms. Know them and follow them.
(13) Use the vibrate option to avoid the noisy
alerts that accompany each text. (14) This should
go without saying, but don’t text and drive.
CLASSROOM FEEDBACK
(9) If you should or must take a phone call when
out with someone else, follow these rules:
• Let your date know in advance that you will
need to take the phone call in advance.
• Turn the ringer to vibrate.
• Apologize and remove yourself from the
situation (table, theater, waiting room...).
• Keep your phone conversation short and to
the point.
Please ask the students to provide their feedback
about these guidelines. Ask them if they have
examples to go with any of these points. Ask them
if they have other points that should be added to
the list.
TEXTING GUIDELINES
www.characterandleadership.com/blog/impact-technology.html http://abcnews.go.com/WhatWouldYou
Do/video/cell-phone-etiquette-6953391
(6 minutes)
(10) Just because you are not talking on the phone,
please remember that many people find it rude
or disrespectful when someone is texting, surfing
the internet or checking social media. It is
distracting and can interfere with the face-to-face
communication.
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES
Below you will find a blog I wrote about texting
and another video about cell phone usage that are
fun and entertaining. If time permits...
(11) Avoid texting when you are doing something
that requires your attention. For example, walking
down the sidewalk, shopping, banking, ordering
food.
© 2014 Character Development & Leadership: Skills That Last A Lifetime
Week 4 – Building Respect
WEEKLY ASSIGNMENT
Respecting The Opposite Sex
1. Write your personal philosophy about how females and males should treat each other. How do you live
up to this philosophy?
2. List three things that could happen in a relationship that would let you know you were being
disrespected.
3. Self-respect is just as important as respecting others. If you were in a relationship and your partner was
treating you in ways that were disrespectful (your answer to question 2), how would you handle that
situation? Explain your answer.
© 2014 Character Development & Leadership: Skills That Last A Lifetime