Cross-cultural
Adaptation within Dutch
Latino couples
Thesis for the master’s programme: Migration and Ethnic Studies
International School of Social Science
By Stijn Geljon 0065552
Amsterdam June 3rd 2008
Supervisor: Flip Lindo
Second Supervisor: Jeroen Doomernik
1
Contents
Contents ............................................................................................................. 2
1.1 Research questions...................................................................................... 3
1.2 Concepts & theory........................................................................................ 5
Interethnic relations ................................................................................................... 5
Ethnicity ....................................................................................................................... 7
Cross-cultural adaptation.......................................................................................... 9
1.3 Methodology............................................................................................... 12
2.1 Migration: Latin America and the Netherlands............................................ 15
2.2 Survey findings........................................................................................... 17
General Data ............................................................................................................... 17
Where do they meet?.............................................................................................. 19
Education .................................................................................................................. 23
Language .................................................................................................................. 24
2.3 Environmental conditions & cross-cultural adaptation ............................... 28
Environmental conditions........................................................................................... 28
Culture: difference and a frame of reference? .................................................... 30
Cross-cultural adaptation........................................................................................ 32
Cross-cultural adaptation ascribed in power relations ....................................... 34
2.4 Couples, Communication, Romance and the limits of Cross-cultural
adaptation......................................................................................................... 36
Prejudices ................................................................................................................. 37
Where to live?........................................................................................................... 38
Limits of Adaptation ................................................................................................. 39
Exceptional cases.................................................................................................... 39
Family: affection and communication ................................................................... 41
Romance ................................................................................................................... 43
2.5 Relationship Symbols and Ethnicity ........................................................... 46
3.0 Conclusion.................................................................................................. 50
Bibliography...................................................................................................... 55
Appendix A ....................................................................................................... 58
6.1 Survey Question list in English ....................................................................... 58
6.1.2 Enquete in het Nederlands........................................................................... 59
6.1.3 Cuestionario Español .................................................................................... 60
Appendix B ....................................................................................................... 61
6.2.1 Question List memo for in depth interviews English ................................ 61
6.2.2 vragenlijst/memo voor kwalitatieve interviews nederlands .................... 63
6.2.3 Lista de preguntas/memo para los entrevistas Español.......................... 65
Cosas cotidianas .............................................................................................. 65
Romanticismo................................................................................................... 65
Appendix C....................................................................................................... 67
6.3.1 Uitleg online onderzoek voor benadering mensen in het Nederlands... 67
6.3.2 Expication y introducion del cuestionario en Español.............................. 68
2
1.1 Research questions
We live in a seemingly increasingly interethnic and globalised world. As individuals
move around the globe they connect with individuals of different cultures. As a result
Dutch and Latinos connect and sometimes they form lasting romantic relations. These
couples are formed by love and embark on an integration process in which they are
highly confronted and deal in their own way with defining concepts as ethnicity,
language and belonging.
In this research relationships were analysed with the help of love symbols. In the
process of forming a relationship by two persons of different cultural backgrounds
differences are highlighted; yet I will try to show that difficulties due to differences and
adaptation processes were found to be simultaneously binding mechanisms as they
fulfilled the function of symbolically tying people together.
I will show vacations are likely to be the most important physical ‘cause’ to create
opportunities for Dutch Latino couples to meet. Like many Dutch people who
participated in the research I have been on holidays to South America; like quite some
Dutch participants I learned to speak Spanish. Unlike many respondents I never
brought a partner with me; nevertheless it fascinated me that some people did.
Romantic relations between Dutch and Latinos are remarkable in the sense that Dutch
connections with Latin America usually do not go much further than holidays.
The act of ‘deciding’ to live together despite being from totally different backgrounds is
rather romantic. To maintain a relationship while both partners live in separate
countries even more romance might be needed. Romance and love are highly
subjective aspects of relationships yet they do matter a lot. Interethnic romantic
relationships are entities in which many core aspects of migration studies, like
globalization, ethnicity, interethnic communication and adaptation to a new
environment converge.
Migration from South America to the USA in all its aspects has been the subject of
many scientific studies; in the USA Latinos form the most numerous group of
immigrants and are a source of inspiration for migration scholars (Terrazas 2007).
Studies on Latin Americans in the Netherlands on the contrary are few. On interethnic
relations there is a qualitative study on intermarriage with regard to the Jewish
population in a Dutch context (Kalmijn 2006). International studies found on
intermarriage sometimes compared intermarried groups to immigrant groups and
native groups on socio-economic characteristics (Milan & Hamm 2004). Intermarriage
is often used as an important indicator of integration, implying that immigrant groups
with high rates of intermarriage with host society are more assimilated (Qian 2001;
Lloyd 2006; Moreira 2001). Many studies on Latin Americans in the USA try to
measure the degree of assimilation of immigrant groups (Jensen et al. 2006; Lee 2006;
Ropes & Landale 2004). Some US Studies on Latin American immigration focus on
demographics often in an attempt to estimate how fast this group is growing and will
grow in the future (Lee 2006).
Little information and data on Latin Americans in the Netherlands were available; a
study by Cristina Barajas on Latin Americans in the Netherlands could not be traced.
To compensate the availability of data I decided to use quantitative and qualitative
research methods. The emphasis is on the qualitative study but I decided a quantitative
part was needed to build a context in which to place the qualitative findings.
3
The thesis is centred on the following research questions:
What factors contribute to bringing Dutch and Latin Americans together in
romantic relationships?
What are the functions and meanings ascribed to love and romance in Dutch
Latin American romantic couples?
How do geographical distance, ethnicity, social environment and power
relations interfere in Dutch Latino romantic relations?
Functions and meanings of love are analysed with the help of relationship symbols; a
concept taken from Baxter (1987). Most words are spent on the interplay between the
social environment, power structures and individuals that are part of an interethnic
couple. These are the key sites that can tell us more on how differences are dealt with.
4
1.2 Concepts & theory
Interethnic relations
Dutch Latino interethnic romantic relationships is the subject of study, but what exactly
is an interethnic relationship? And what is a romantic relationship? An interethnic
relationship is a human relation between two persons with different cultural
backgrounds. The next paragraph will theoretically examine ethnicity and culture but
first I will look deeper into issues at play and choices made regarding romantic
relationships.
I decided to study couples with the only criterion that they perceive themselves as a
couple and present themselves as such in their social environment. Although this may
seem a loose definition, it nevertheless excludes one-night stands and other highly
volatile forms of relations that might be romantic as well. The term romantic relationship
encompasses everyone that considers themselves and their partner a couple and while
doing this research self-selection occurred automatically. Had they not considered
themselves a couple, they had never cooperated in the research. Exactly how couples
give meaning to their being ‘together’ was not a qualifying criterion. Thus it was
possible to be considered ‘together’ without living in the same house. In few cases one
partner lived in South America and the other in the Netherlands; nevertheless they
were according to themselves a couple and often ‘in love’. Romantic relationships just
as easily include couples that were married for over 20 years. In the research, couples
and romantic relationships are terms used as synonyms indicating a dyadic relation
known to the outside world as born out of ‘love’ and maintained by ‘romantic behaviour’.
One of the reasons to focus on love in interethnic romantic relations was that some
studies on interethnic couples stressed that persons marry because of ‘love’ (Luke &
Luke 1998: 747). It has been stated that this is more the case for interethnic romantic
couples than intra-ethnic couples, as exogamy in the majority of cultures is not
stimulated (Duan & Claborne: 2). Love characterizes romantic relationships across
social, cultural, and national boundaries; its meaning and function though, may vary
from one relationship to another and from one culture to another (Gao 2001: 329).
Since love appears to be important in bringing Dutch Latino couples together a deeper
understanding of its meaning is deemed important.
I conceptualised love as an idealized, non-material, non-rational sentiment that makes
individuals want to be together, share their lives and form a union. Despite being hard
to define, it is important as the literature indicates it is love that can break down ethnic
barriers. I believe love is also an idyllic notion associated with pureness and therefore
easily polluted. Romantic love or romantic behaviour involves the interplay of
attachment, care giving and sex (Fraley & Shaver 2000) thus being important in
maintaining a romantic relationship. Focusing on romance and irrationality induces one
to think about the opposite; the pragmatic calculating aspects that are present in every
relationship as well.
People form a couples for more than one reason. Financial, political and public security,
economic opportunities, education, raising children or status, are all examples of more
practical considerations that could provide incentives for a couple to be formed. When
individuals in Dutch Latino couples talk about their or other people’s relationships and
what brought them together they attach various meanings to concepts like love and
romance but also to the Netherlands; the home country, family and economic
opportunities. I expected to gain important insights in Dutch Latino couples by
analyzing how such concepts interplay.
5
Structural, economic, and cultural factors have been found to influence the incidence of
intercultural marriages within a particular society (Roer-Strier 2006: 42). For Dutch
citizens, globalization or the increased presence of opportunities permitting individuals
to meet potential partners from other cultures is an example how structural factors
seem to have increased the incidence of intercultural romantic relationships. Having
been an emigration country for about 160 years, the Netherlands transformed from an
emigration country into an immigration country during the 1960’s (Penninx et al 2005).
Migration of some Latin Americans to the Netherlands and the increasing frequency of
Dutch and Latin Americans alike that travel long distances in order to study, work or
just celebrate vacation have increased contacts between Dutch and Latin Americans.
We will see that the questionnaire indicated that vacation in Latin America created
most often the opportunity for Dutch Latino relationships to come into existence.
Relationships are sometimes claimed to be unique mini-cultures (Baxter 1987: 261).
The claim that a relationship is a culture signifies that it consists of a system of
meanings, which is created and maintained by its parties through communication (Kim
2001). Communication plays a central role in the theory of Kim which serves as the
backbone of this thesis and is presented later in this chapter. All representations;
stories, songs or physical objects that symbolically represent the romantic relation and
being together are in fact relationship symbols (Baxter 1987). The task of the
researcher is according to Geertz: sorting out the structures of signification; or
describing the artefacts, events and actions that constitute symbolic articulation of the
culture (Geertz in Baxter 1987: 262). My research focuses on a specific relationship
type, namely romantic couples. Respondents were asked questions that gave
information on their relationship symbols and these were analyzed. In other words,
Baxter’s symbol types (Baxter 1987: 261) were used to analyse the construction of
meaning with regard to love in the relationship.
For analytical purposes I discerned three different phases that characterize a
relationship: a formation, a continuation and eventually a termination phase; the
boundaries between the stages are not clearly cut. All the people interviewed were at
the moment of interviewing in the continuation phase. The termination phase was left
out of analysis and therefore no questions in respect to a possible ending of the
relation were asked (appendix A). I will go deeper into the formation stage as this
research is trying to find out what factors brought Dutch Latino couples together.
Besides we will see that events during the formation phase have its influence on
binding mechanisms and relationship symbols.
Parents or the extended family almost without exception mediate the dynamics of the
couples’ relationship (Luke and Luke 1998: 74). The interviews therefore always
contained questions regarding the social environment. Any marriage or serious
romantic relationship is a de facto union and has impact on the families of both
partners, especially mixed marriages as they experience adaptation processes which
influence both partners deeply and with them the social environment.
Interracial relationships are increasingly frequent (Troy 2006). Troy’s findings refer to a
US environment; nevertheless I believe it holds true for the Netherlands as well, as the
Netherlands have become increasingly interracial since the 1960’s due to the influx of
guest workers and immigrants from oversees territories (Penninx et al 2005). Race
brings a visible dimension to ethnicity into the Netherlands as many immigrants are
recognized as such due to their physical appearance or phenotypical features.
Interethnic relationships are not a new phenomenon in the Netherlands; they used to
occur between individuals from different religious backgrounds which are in many
aspects similar yet not always as visible as interracial couples. Nearly all Dutch Latino
6
couples I interviewed are visibly interethnic. Interethnic relationships are interesting
study subjects for migration scholars as they provide grounds for people to reinvent
and re-evaluate their own ethnicity (Luke & Luke 1998: 743). Intermarriage represents
for some authors the strongest indicator of the final outcome of assimilation (Hirschman
1983: 407). Entering a new country means starting an enculturation process all over
again. Strangers become thus more aware of the previously taken-for-granted mental
and behavioural habits to which they are accustomed (Kim 2001: 50). In other words
they bring identity issues into play (Reich et al. 2000: 154). Definitions of the self and
in-group definitions can not be understood separately from knowledge and definitions
of ‘other’ groups, since the ‘other’ and the ‘self’ are united in a couple. Individuals
involved in a romantic relationship experience that the borders of these definitions have
become less clear and sometimes contradictory.
Interethnic marriages have been associated with problems, risks, high rates of divorce
and family conflict (Roer-Strier 2006: 42). While discussing interethnic couples,
comparable associations were regularly made. Some of these associations were based
on past experiences while others were based on beliefs prior to any experience with
interethnic couples and hence were a reflection of existing social perceptions. The
notion that interracial relationships are generally lower in ‘quality’ is tackled by Troy et
al (2006). In a comparative study of interracial and intra-racial romantic relationships
Troy found that interracial relationships were not lower in ‘quality’ and in some aspects
more satisfying.
Ethnicity
Ethnicity is a complex concept that brings together the language, religion, culture, race
and nationality that people identify with. Consequently, I use the term ethnic identity as
a broad and inclusive concept. Interracial or interethnic relationships are key sites
where new forms of cultural, social class and gender identity are being reconstructed
(Luke and Luke 1998: 728). I consider race or phenotypical appearance as a physical
part of ethnicity; its meaning varies across different social contexts. Race can play an
important role in how people are perceived. Race continues to be a core cultural
category that structures and shapes everyday motivation and common sense, social
practices and perceptions (Omi & Winant 1994: 55 in Luke & Luke 1998: 732).
Identity does not precede representation, it is a social construct produced by
paradoxical, complementary and contradictory racializing, classing and gendering
discourse practices (Luke & Luke 1999). As individuals incorporate cultural patterns
into their psyches, they also develop a cultural or ethnic identity. The internalized
patterns become the world as their perception of the world is partly determined by the
internalized patterns. Individuals develop selfhood that is connected to their culture.
Cultural identity as such refers to a self-definition and definition of others and serves as
a frame of reference or a system of knowledge and meaning. A fully formed cultural
identity becomes a given or ascribed entity rather than an acquired one. (Kim 2001:49).
Latino as a definition of a group of people was chosen to distinguish a certain group of
immigrants in the Netherlands. In the USA the term Latino and Hispanics are in
common use and almost synonymous. Hispanics technically include all people that
speak Spanish as a first language and Latinos include all people from Latin America,
which are these parts of the Americas where a Latin or Roman language is spoken
(Vogel 1983), This includes some parts of the USA, Brazil, Central America and the
Caribbean. I chose to use the word Latino in my research, but restricted myself in this
respect to people from Spanish speaking countries in Latin America. Despite many
similarities in the relation to the Netherlands, I excluded Brazilians, as I do not speak
Portuguese. Besides, Brazil was colonized by Portugal, Spain’s rival in the conquest of
Latin America. Because of a comparable reason I excluded Surinamese and Dutch
7
Antilleans. They have a particular historical connection with the Netherlands which
make their migration history different compared to that of Latino’s. Along with J.J.E.
Gracia I firmly believe that there is neither an essence, a property, nor a set of
properties shared in common by all Latinos at all times and all places. Rather Latinos
‘constitute a family tied by changing historical relations, which in turn generate
particular properties, which can be used to distinguish [them] . . . from others in
particular contexts’ (J.J.E. Gracia in Robert Gooding-Williams 2001: 3). In the case of a
Latino identity in the Netherlands, it can be conceptualized as a diasporic identity;
diaspora adds another dynamic to the already broad concept of ethnic or cultural
identity.
A diasporic identity implies that in the diaspora the ‘original’ identity is influenced and
reinvented by migrants depending on various factors in the receiving society. Different
ethnic or national groups are often linked together by their shared Latino ethnicity and
in order to culturally express themselves they have to work together creating therefore
a ‘renewed’ unity among Latino immigrants under influence of the circumstance of
being outside Latin America. To give an example: ‘Latin’ parties are much more
frequent in the Netherlands than in Latin America.
Another point taken from Gracia (J.J.E. Gracia in Robert Gooding-Williams 2001: 3) is
that we (social beings) are tied by continually changing historic relations. The presence
of Latino immigrants in the Netherlands for example changes its relation to Latin
America. The Netherlands and Latin America may not have deeply intertwined histories;
they both have a colonial history, which had its impact on the mutual position within a
field of power relations in which Dutch Latino couples are situated. Migration histories
are dealt with in more detail in chapter 2.1. For the moment it suffices to say that partly
as result of a colonial past, current laws and economic restraints, Latinos are not as
free to move and settle all over the globe and in particular Europe and the Netherlands
as are Dutch. Complemented with the fact that due to language differences, other
inconsistencies in cultural capital and a lack of social capital, Latinos in the Netherlands
have less access to economic resources. As a consequence Dutch Latino couples deal
with internal and external unbalanced power structures and dependency.
Latino is in fact a racially plural concept, by which I am not trying to argue that race or
race relations play no role in internal differences within Latin America. The notion of
Latino carries inherently connotations of mixing or mestizaje. In Latin America people
with a wide variety of phenotypical appearances are found ranging from white to black
and everything that is in between. Your racial appearance makes you neither more nor
less Latino, in fact most national identities in Latin American countries are imagined
around racial and cultural ambiguities (Skurski: 2008). Nevertheless, Latin America has
experienced a period of whitening, in which white elites sought to ‘whiten’ the
population by trying to attract European immigrants between 1880 and 1930 (Andrews
2004: 117,118). This was based on the belief of white racial superiority rather than
national belonging. In the Netherlands, reference to race is much less explicit, be it in
terms of a continuum of identified ‘shades’ or in terms of the black-white dichotomy.
The term race is preferably evaded in Dutch discourse. Still I believe Dutchness has
white connotations; non-white people as a rule are perceived not to be Dutch and at
best considered nearly Dutch (Essed et all. 2008:58, 59).
Differences in close relationships across cultures are sometimes explained by the
degree of individualism or collectivism as a cultural dimension (Gao 2001: 331). Latin
American cultures are usually placed on the collectivistic end of the scale and Northern
European cultures thus including the Dutch culture are perceived as individualistic
(Hayes and Allinson 2000: 164).
8
Of specific importance in the research and one of the most identifying aspects of
(national) culture and identity is language. Assuming that intensive intercultural
exchange occurs within romantic couples this is mediated by language and it varies
between couples which languages are used. As a result of a shared colonial history the
majority of the Latinos speak Spanish as a first language. The shared language
provides a strong basis for a shared identity of Latinos. Carlos Fuentes, a Mexican
writer identifies the Spanish language as the strongest link between Latin Americans of
European, Indigenous or African descent (Fuentes 1992: 112). Some groups of
1
indigenous peoples, mainly to be found in South Mexico, Guatemala, Peru and Bolivia
speak other languages as a first language; usually they speak Spanish too. Latin
Americans that participated in the research all spoke without exception Spanish as
their first language.
Dutch language is probably just as important in a sense of a shared identity in the
Netherlands. The difference would be that the Dutch language crosses far less borders
compared to the Spanish. Language is one of the most identifying aspects of (national)
culture but is also the most important medium for communication; therefore Kim goes
as far as stating that communication is inseparable from culture: In each culture people
are connected with each other through a common system of encoding and decoding.
Culture conditions individuals to certain patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving in
varying social transactions. Culture and communication are inseparably related, since
the culture is maintained by individuals of the group, who carry out the interactions
among them (Kim 2001: 47, 48). This way of thinking is in line with ideas of authors like
Baxter (1987); because in his view relationships of any kind form unique mini-cultures
in which continuous and patterned interactions between two persons arise.
Communication can be divided in host mass communication and interpersonal
communication (Kim 2001: 75) of which the personal communication is the most
central to strangers’ adaptation (Kim 2001: 85). Host mass communication refers to
news (papers), television and even school (for children); mass communications are
influential in shaping cultural patterns of the host society and provide a common frame
of reference that can be important in interpersonal relations by providing a common
experience.
After having determined the importance of language and communication in the
formation of a new union and in the creation of meaning, I decided to gain data on
language proficiency, on in which language Dutch Latino couples communicated, and
on communication problems in general.
Cross-cultural adaptation
It has been mentioned that relationships form mini-cultures and create meaning, but
how that indeed happens has not been specified. Kim developed a major theory on
cross-cultural adaptation, which deals with assimilation or integration processes. Kim’s
theory gives us insights at the processes at the root of adaptation. The main points of
her theory are presented. Kim’s theory is applied and tested with regard to the findings
of the research in chapters 2.3 and 2.4.
Young Yun Kim made an effort to device an all-encompassing theory that deals with
the adaptation processes of strangers who cross-societal boundaries as do immigrants
and sojourners, but also people who experience adaptive pressures from subcultures.
Kim delineates three boundary conditions that have to be met in order to be able to
speak of cross-cultural adaptation (Kim 2001: 33-4):
1
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indigenous_peoples
9
1. The strangers have had a primary socialization in one culture (or subculture)
and have moved into a different and unfamiliar culture (or subculture)
2. The strangers are at least minimally dependent on the host environment for
meeting their personal and social needs.
3. The strangers are at least minimally engaged in firsthand communication
experiences with that environment.
The respondents all make part of a Dutch-Latino couple and thus form a dyadic relation
of a specific kind. They both deal with cross-cultural adaptation, but in different ways as
they are differently exposed and differently related to each other’s environments. When
analyzing couples, as with analyzing cultures or cultural expressions, it is important not
to assume that all parts are in a relation of equality to one another. In every case the
parts are differently inscribed by relations of power (Hall 1999: 8).
Communication is the driving force behind cross-cultural adaptation, but it takes place
in certain environments. The environment is the cultural and socio-political context for
communication activities and includes co-ethnics as well. Consequently the nature of
new environments in which strangers find themselves nowadays is mixed (Kim 2001:
78). Kim (2001: 79-80) separates three environmental conditions: host receptivity, host
conformity pressures and ethnic group strength.
Host receptivity (Kim 2001: 79) is the degree to which a given environment is open to,
welcomes, and accepts strangers into its society. This depends on the type of
strangers. Host conformity pressure (Kim 2001: 80) is the extent to which the
environment challenges the stranger to adopt normative patterns of the host society.
Ethnic group strength determines how strong members of a certain ethnicity stick
together in a foreign environment. An indicator of ethnic group strength is its ethnolinguistic vitality which is defined by three variables: the status of a language in a
community, the absolute and relative numbers of the language’s users, and institutional
support (Kim 2001: 80-1). Ethnic group development takes place in different stages:
the first stage is: economic adjustment the second: community building, the third:
aggressive self assertion (Clark & Obler in Kim 2001: 80-1).
Together the three environmental conditions define the relative degree of push and pull
factors that a society offers to strangers.
Interethnic couples deal with integration on a micro level and that has many tangent
lines with cross-cultural adaptation. In the attempt to understand Latino-Dutch romantic
couples I thought it to be fruitful and justified to treat them as a specific case of crosscultural adaptation.
Kim’s model of cross-cultural adaptation is based in the open systems theory which
does not see a person as a static package of more or less stable internal structures,
but as a dynamic and self-reflexive system that observes itself and renews itself as it
continuously interacts with the environment (Kim 2001: 35). Specific for interethnic
couples is that much of the communication of the stranger with the host society is
mediated through a partner.
The individual and the environment mutually influence each other through
communication in the broadest sense of the word (Kim 2001: 37). The host
environment for example changes its behaviour towards the stranger as he or she
becomes more culturally adapted. Kim stresses the perpetuity of the model, because it
should be viewed as an ongoing process of learning and growth. The continuity makes
the theory suitable for my research in which people were interviewed in different stages
10
of a relationship. From the moment interethnic couples are formed, ties are created by
connecting two groups originating in different meaning systems.
11
1.3 Methodology
The following section describes how I executed the research, namely how I found
respondents and the reasons why I made specific choices with regard to the practical
issues that arose while doing research.
I aimed to gain insights in broad topics ranging from what factors brought Dutch Latino
couples together to how ethnicity, social environment and power relations influence
Dutch Latino romantic relationships. I decided I needed both quantitative and
qualitative methods to produce enough data that could help me answer these
questions. I planned to make a questionnaire and to do in depth interviews. The
questionnaire could give me some indication on matters pertaining to the first research
question, like: where do Dutch Latino couples meet? In what language do they
communicate and what kinds of jobs have individuals in a Dutch Latino couple
(Appendix A)?
Mostly practical matters that would give me insights I could hold on to when trying to
analyze and make general statements with regard to the Data gathered by in the depth
interviews.
I made a questionnaire available online at www.thesistools.com and approached and
encouraged people to fill out the questionnaire by e-mail (Appendix C); they only had to
click on a link after which they could fill out the questionnaire. I thought the online
dimension would extent the amount of people I could reach because they could send
the e-mail to friends. This was rarely the case and after 30 people filled out the
questionnaire the response rate dropped and hardly anybody responded. I decided to
make a printed versions and I started to physically explore the Netherlands to find
people willing and qualified to fill out the questionnaire on the spot.
The advantage of an online questionnaire is that the results are automatically stored in
an excel file. The data in the filled out paper version of the questionnaire I had to enter
myself. These data were converted into an SPSS file. This program was used to run
some basic statistics. In the end I used excel to produce the graphs as I wanted to
make the graphs easily accessible for the readers and I could not alter the visual
representation produced by SPSS. The quantitative data provided me with knowledge
and insights that served as a background for more personal and specific information
gathered by the interviews.
Eventually most respondents were found in the following places: Casa Peru, a
Peruvian restaurant in Amsterdam where I used to work for a while. Casa Migrante an
open house for Spanish speaking immigrants in Amsterdam which provides free Dutch
classes in Spanish, mostly attended by Latinos. Many couples were approached via my
own network of friends, family and colleagues. In addition I went to the VU where they
taught a Dutch language course for foreigners. The Latin American Film Festival in
Utrecht was visited by quite some Dutch Latino couples. I assisted twice the service in
the Sint Nicolaas Church near Amsterdam CS where a Spanish service attracts many
Latinos. I visited Eindhoven several times to participate in practicing session for
Peruvian folkloric dance in exchange for interviews. Around seven Peruvian women
and some of their partners would practice every week at one of the members’ homes.
The rehearsals were taken seriously so I could not always do complete interviews, and
hence often these practicing sessions resembled mostly participant observation. The
practicing sessions resulted in a performance at a feria (open market) in Eindhoven
where immigrants of nearly all Latin American countries represented their country with
folklore and food. At the feria I had many respondents fill out my questionnaire and
12
after the feria I ended the data gathering part of my study. At two occasions I had a
small group of Latinos that filled out the survey together and with who a lively
discussion would emerge because stimulated by the questions they started informing
and explaining their situation and views to each other. The meetings had almost the
characteristics of a focus group and I took note of the remarks that were made.
I planned to do 16 in depth interview but eventually I did 17. I did an ‘extra’ interview
with a couple of which the Latina member was born in the Netherlands. I wanted to do
at least 16 because the aim was to have a sample as varied as possible considering
sex, nationality, socio economic background, residence place and age. A varied
sample was most likely to give perspectives from different angles. Besides my personal
preferences I depended on the willingness of the participants to cooperate; for example
Latino men were often unwilling to cooperate. I could not always afford to be too
selective in who to interview and who not. Although I did not succeeded in attaining the
most varied sample, nevertheless at the end I was content with the sample because
the 17 interviews were very heterogeneous just as I had intended them. Eventually I
interviewed old and young couples, in small villages and larger cities, ranging from
Venhorst and Bussum, to Eindhoven and Amsterdam. All data were gathered between
March and June of 2007.
Originally the plan was to interview only one person at a time; at first I thought that
independent of the partner respondents would be more open and freer to say what was
on their mind. But when I went to Venhorst, Brabant for an interview they were together
waiting for me and it would have been awkward to have asked one of the two to leave
the room. After that incident the initial guideline was dropped and some more
interviews were done with couples; sometimes the partner was nearby and sporadically
joined the conversation. Without denying the major influence it had on how people
responded, I believe it was not necessarily harmful. I noticed these interviews were
different, usually more dynamic; sometimes a negotiation of the answer would take
place in front of me. On the more sensitive debatable issues it was often clear that a
negotiated answer was produced, but for the recollection of memories for example it
was rather fruitful as they could stimulate each other. What a respondent would tell
during an interview depends anyway on various aspects like mood, situation, and
timing; in the end it is a snapshot that would be very different when taken at another
day, place or situation.
13
In the scheme below is depicted who was interviewed and of which combinations of
nationalities consisted the couple.
Both
simultaneously
1 F: Venezuela
M: Netherlands
4 F: Venezuela
M: Netherlands
10 F: Ecuador
M: Netherlands
14 F: Colombia
M: Netherlands
16 F: Neth/Chile
M: Netherlands
Dutch Male
Dutch Female
Latin Male
Latin Female
8 F:Colombia
M:Netherlands
12 F:Mexico
M:Netherlands
15 F: Peru
M: Netherlands
6 F:Netherlands
M:Chile
11F:Netherlands
M:Bolivia
7 F:Netherlands
M:Venezuela
9 F:Netherlands
M: Nicaragua
13F:Netherlands
M: Cuba
2 F:Peru
M:Netherlands
3 F:Peru
M:Netherlands
5 F:Venezuela
M:Netherlands
17 F:Bolivia
M:Netherlands
(F=Female, M=Male)
The researcher or interviewer also influences the interviews, among many other things,
by his or her appearance, voice, choice of words and mood of the day. Interviews are a
good example to show that the researcher is part of the society he or she studies and
therefore his findings are by definition subjective and influenced by the researcher him
or herself.
For the in-depth-interviews a question list was put together (Appendix B), to help me
remember vital questions and to keep the conversation going in case I would run out of
questions, but they did not follow a strict scheme; they were semi structured interviews.
The interviews were taken either in a bar or I visited the respondents at home. An
interview lasted at least one hour; after completing the interview I worked out the notes
I took during the interviews. A pilot interview was taped, but the first official interview
was very poor in respect to the responsiveness of the person interviewed. The third
person I interviewed did not want me to tape the conversation at all; from then on I
decided to stop recording the interviews and I only took notes during interviews.
The qualitative analysis consists of my interpretation of the data; I strived to be clear
about how I came to my interpretations. I tried to keep my questions clear and simple in
order to invoke descriptive answers, because some respondents had the tendency to
start doing analysis themselves by explaining in stead of describing certain issues.
Although some explanation could be interesting, in general I tried to prevent it.
The interviews were conducted in Spanish, Dutch or both. I translated all the quotes
into English. I felt that including all the original quotes too, would distract the reader
from the main points I am trying to put forward.
14
2.1 Migration: Latin America and the Netherlands
Latin America has been a major migration destiny for Europeans in the past century
until the 1950s and 1960s. Since the 1980s however these flows are reversed. The
main European destination countries for Latin American emigrants are Italy and Spain;
also other European countries have seen significant increases. In Spain over 30 % of
its immigrants originate in Latin America, especially since the late 1990s the amount of
Latin American immigrants in Spain rose exponentially (Pellegrino 2004: 5).
The Netherlands on the contrary has been mainly an emigration country from around
1800 until the 1960s, when the Netherlands became a de facto immigration country.
Yet it took many years after the 1960s before the Netherlands started to consider itself
as an immigration country (Penninx et al 2005: 4)
Currently almost 70 000 Latin Americans live in the Netherlands, without taking into
account Surinamese and Antillean immigrants. Brazilians which have an in many ways
comparable connection to the Netherlands as Spanish speaking Latin American
countries form with 14 000 people the largest Latin American immigrant group in the
Netherlands. The second largest group is formed by Colombians who comprise almost
11 000 people followed by Dominicans who make up around 10 000 people.
Furthermore Venezuelans, Peruvians and Chileans amount to 4 000 persons each
group respectively (CBS 2007). Even when put together in one group Latin Americans
comprise a relative small group of immigrants: only 4% of the total non-western
immigrants in the Netherlands. Nevertheless, this group is growing in relative terms; in
the last decade the amount of Latin Americans in the Netherlands increased with 80%.
The CBS (Central Bureau Statistics) estimated that in 2050 the number of Latinos in
the Netherlands will have increased to 250 000 (Noticias 2006). These numbers are
based on official statistics and due to illegal immigration may be underestimated. Note
that these figures include first and second generation immigrants.
Countries of Origin
Quantity of
persons NL
Countries of Origin
Quantity of
persons NL
Colombia
Dominican Republic
Chilli
Venezuela
Argentina
Peru
Mexico
Ecuador
Cuba
Uruguay
Bolivia
Costa Rica
El Salvador
Nicaragua
10 631
10 303
4 838
4 316
4 190
4 162
3 232
2 128
1 539
1 027
810
664
484
455
Honduras
Panama
Paraguay
Puerto Rico
Belize
Total
443
393
268
150
22
50 055
Other immigrant groups:
Suriname
Brazil
Turkey
Dutch Antilles & Aruba
Total non-western
immigrants
333 504
13 964
368 600
129 965
1 738 452
Data from CBS 2007
From these figures we can conclude that Spanish speaking Latinos only form 3% of the
total non western immigrant population in the Netherlands.
15
Immigrants from Latin America are a heterogeneous group; they include people from
different countries and backgrounds. The first who came to the Netherlands were
political refugees in the seventies and eighties, mainly from Chile and Argentina. The
first Chileans and Argentineans were in general highly educated and their integration is
usually regarded to be rather successful (Droommuseum 2007). Currently Latin
Americans are often considered as a silent immigration group, not only because they
are small in numbers but also because there are few institution that effectively
represent them as a group in the Netherlands (Boshuijer 2005). Over the last decade a
feminization of Latin American immigration in general has taken place (Pellegrino:
2004). In the Netherlands especially among Colombians, Brazilians, Peruvians and
Dominicans it is remarkable that more women migrate than men (Noticias 2006, CBS).
16
2.2 Survey findings
In this chapter on the results of the survey I discuss gender, where couples meet,
educational level and language proficiency. These were issues that after analysing the
data appeared to provide quantitative evidence that certain aspects and mechanisms
of Dutch Latino couple are important.
In advance I deemed language and where couples meet to be subjects the survey
could give me insights in. As I did not know on beforehand what the responses would
be not all questions produced data that I could meaningfully interpret. Thus a selection
is presented here; meaning that not all questions asked in the questionnaire (Appendix
A) are discussed in this chapter. During the in depth interviews I learned that a situation
can be a lot more complicated than the data of the survey sometimes suggest. Some
qualitative findings are discussed in the comments on the graphics and tables in order
to help explain the findings of the questionnaire. Firstly I will give a general overview of
some of the most basic data that describe the population.
General Data 93 persons have filled out the questionnaire; both partners of 23 couples filled out the
questionnaire thus the sample represents 93 - 23 = 70 couples
Latinos responded more than the Dutch did, respectively 55 and 38. The
overrepresentation of Latinos can be explained by the strategy used to find most
respondents. In order to find Dutch Latino couples I was actively looking for Latinos.
After having located some Latinos the next step was to find out whether they had a
Dutch partner. This strategy was deemed to be more successful than the reversed:
locating Dutch persons and find out if they have a Latino partner.
The nationality and distribution by sex of the respondents are shown in table 1.1 en 1.2:
Table 1.1 first nationality
nationality:
Dutch
Latino
Table 1.2 Birth countries by sex
Total
No response
-
1
1
Bolivian
0
1
1
Chilean
0
1
1
Colombian
0
9
9
Cuban
0
6
6
Dutch
38
5
43
Ecuadorian
0
3
3
Mexican
0
3
3
Panamanian
0
1
1
Peruvian
0
14
14
Salvadorian
0
1
1
0
10
10
38
55
93
Venezuelan
Total
Country of
birth
Unknown
Bolivia
Chile
Colombia
Cuba
Ecuador
El Salvador
Mexico
Nederland
Nicaragua
Panama
Peru
Venezuela
Total
Male
respondents
0
0
0
1
4
0
0
1
29
1
0
0
1
37
Female
respondents
1
1
1
9
2
3
1
2
10
0
1
15
10
56
total
1
1
1
10
6
3
1
3
39
1
1
15
11
93
1.3 Respondents by culture and sex
Male
Female
total
Dutch
29
8
37
Latino
9
47
56
Total
38
55
17
More women than men responded, respectively 56 and 37. There are a few possible
explanations: women seemed more eager to respond; since a couple of individuals
who did not wish to cooperate with the survey after I had asked them in person were all
men. Besides, we have seen that Latin American immigration has feminized in the last
decades and Latinos and Peruvians are overrepresented in the sample of the
population. Maybe the most important reason could be that relationships between
Dutch males and Latina female happen more often. Perceptions of respondents at
least indicated the latter, in addition the perception that couples consisting of a Dutch
male and Latina female lasted longer than the reversed were also wide spread.
It proved difficult to find Latino males that were willing to participate. Some potential
respondents; many of them Latino men did not want to cooperate. Just nine out of the
37 male respondents was Latino; out of those the ones that did respond were found
and approached physically as opposed to some women and Dutch men who at times
took the trouble to fill out the questionnaire on line without being encouraged by me.
Looking closer at table 1.2 in which the Latin American respondents are listed by birth
country; an overrepresentation of Peruvian and Venezuelan women is noticed;
whereas respondents from the Dominican Republic, after all one of the main Latin
American immigrant groups, are not represented at all. At the time of performing the
research I happened to work at a Peruvian restaurant, hence the high number of
Peruvian respondents. Nevertheless I do not think their overrepresentation influences
the data in a problematic way as they do not have a radically different position
compared to other Latinos with regard to the discussed issues of language, meeting
place and education. It has to be noted that all 15 Peruvian respondents were female. I
do not have an explanation for the overrepresentation of Venezuelans. No respondents
of the Dominican Republic were found; immigrants from the Dominican republic seem
to have a bit of an exceptional position compared to other Latinos; for example at the
Feria they were not represented either. Since I did not interview any Dominicans any
explanatory comment would be mere speculation.
The respondents were all between 19 and 63 years of age and on average 36 years
old. A large part, 43 % of the respondents were in between 28 and 34 years old.
Derived from question 3 and 6 of the questionnaire (Appendix A) I calculated that the
Latinos that came to reside in the Netherlands were on average 28.8 years old upon
arrival. The research represents 70 couples of mixed Dutch-Latino backgrounds. 15 out
of these 70 couples or 21 % were Dutch women with a Latino partner, 55 out of 70 or
79 % were Dutch men with Latina partner; which is a remarkable difference even when
the possible under representation of Latino men is taken into consideration. Two
mutually inclusive explanations are possible; Dutch male and Latina female
combination occur more frequently, or they last longer. Both explanations increase the
chance of finding couples consisting of Dutch men and Latino women.
In Table 3.1 the birth country of Latino part of the couples are listed.
Table 3.1 Birth country Latino part of couple
Birth country Latino
Unknown
Bolivia
Chile
Colombia
Cuba
Dominican Republic
Ecuador
Frequency
1
2
3
14
8
1
3
18
Mexico
Dutch (Chilean Parents)
Nicaragua
Panama
Peru
Venezuela
Total
5
1
2
1
18
11
70
Birth country was used as an indicator of the (national) culture in which country one received
his or her primary socialization, given that nationality nowadays is usually not an accurate
indicator.
75 % of my respondents had only one nationality; 25% had a double passport.
These were all Latinos, 17 Latinos, or 32% of the total Latino respondents had two
nationalities and 5 of those 17 had a non- Dutch second nationality, for example Italian
or German
It was not a surprise that only one out of the 54 Latino respondents was born in the
Netherlands given the relative short history of Latin American immigration in the
Netherlands.
Three out of all the 53 persons that were born in Latin America had renounced their
previous nationality in exchange for a single Dutch nationality. With regard to
nationality I heard while doing the surveys several Latinos comment that they were
about to get their Dutch nationality. Although there was usually no hastiness involved;
the decision was already taken. Several Latinas that had children with a Dutch
nationality considered having Dutch children a strong incentive for giving up the original
nationality.
Where do they meet?
I wanted to find out if there was anything specific that brought these couples together,
three questions in the questionnaire addressed the issue how, where and under which
circumstances future partners met? (Appendix A)
The results concerning in which country they met are shown in table 4 and for
analytical purposes they are subdivided in three categories in graph 4.
40
35
30
Frequency
Meeting
place
Frequency
Bolivia
1
Chilli
1
Ecuador
1
Panama
1
Germany
1
France
1
Switzerland
1
Mexico
2
Nicaragua
2
Airplane
2
USA
2
Colombia
4
Spain
4
25
20
15
10
5
0
Latin America
Netherlands
Third countries
Meeting country
19
Cuba
Venezuela
Peru
Netherlands
5
8
10
24
The table shows that by far the most of these relationships are formed outside of the
Netherlands. The visual representation renders more apparent the aforementioned
phenomenon; the meeting countries are regrouped into three categories: the
Netherlands, Latin America and third countries, countries neither in Latin America nor
the Netherlands. Not surprisingly the USA and Spain, countries with large Latin
American minorities, make up most of this category. The airplane was by the way also
placed in category 3. It is important to keep in mind that some of the Latinos that met
their current partner in the Netherlands had had a previous relationship with a Dutch
person or another partner with a European citizenship, which they had often met in
Latin America; after the relationship ended they remained in the Netherlands and found
another Dutch partner.
This is an important finding about Dutch Latin American couples. This observation
plays a key role in my thesis, given that it shows that for most Dutch Latin American
couples marriage or cohabiting is not the result of integration but a starting point. The
idea that minorities marry outside their community when integrated is reversed for the
majority of my respondents; an integration process started after they formed a couple.
One might wonder why the majority of the Dutch Latino romantic relations are formed
abroad. On what occasion do they meet? And why were they abroad in the first place?
For analytical reasons I separated the findings for Dutch and Latinos with regard to the
question on what occasion do they meet?
Abroad for
1Study
2Work
3Vacation
4Family visit
5Previous love
6Political situation
Dutch
Frequency percentage
5
11%
10
21%
30
64%
2
4%
0
0%
0
0%
Latino
Frequency Percentage
8
29%
10
36%
1
4%
2
7%
5
18%
2
7%
20
Abroad for
70%
Dutch
60%
Latino
Frequency
50%
40%
30%
20%
10%
0%
Study
Work
Vacation
Family visit
Previous love
Political
situation
For Dutch people tourism is the most important reason to be in a foreign country when
your about to meet your future Latino partner, whereas for Latinos this is not quite the
case. Tourism has globalised rapidly; before 1997 intercontinental tourism was of
minor importance (Pellenbarg and Van Steen 1999). From 1997 to 2004
intercontinental flights to South and Central America increased by almost 40 percent
(Coninx 2005). This supports the idea that Dutch Latino Couples are in many ways a
product of globalization of which the increased global movement of people is one of the
most important features. For the Dutch, work is the second most important reason to
be abroad, although not even half as often as vacation. It is difficult to interpret these
findings but it is clear that Latinos go abroad (in most of our cases that was the
Netherlands) for quite different reasons; Work is the most important reason followed by
studying and some already lived abroad as they previously were involved in an
interethnic romantic relationships. Thereby indicating that having a relation with a
Dutch partner functions for Latinos; whether it is the main goal or not, as an entry into
Europe.
In which kind of locations do they meet? As the event of getting together is important in
the collective memory of a couple I wanted to look at that moment from different angles.
It is a story that is repeatedly told to acquaintances and therefore it can have symbolic
importance as well. It is interesting also since it appears that many current couples
seem to have lived in social worlds that appear at first glance completely unrelated.
The kind of places that connect these different worlds could be revealing.
Meeting place
Friends
Club/bar
Internet
On the streets
Work/school
Church
Hotel/airplane
Total
Missing
Total
Frequency
18
17
4
7
16
1
5
68
2
70
percentage
26%
25%
6%
10%
24%
1%
7%
21
30%
Meeting place
25%
Frequency
20%
15%
10%
5%
0%
Friends
Club/bar
Internet
On the streets Work/school
church
Hotel/airplane
Jobs do not only take people out of their country; the working place itself also functions
as a spot where people from different cultures meet and get to know each other. About
half of the relationships arise via connections in someone’s ‘regular’ social life: via
friends, work, church and the other half is more coincidental like meeting online, on the
streets or in a bar or hotel. The internet as a medium is not so prominent. But it
happens that people meet online and the Dutch men (as was the case in all four cases)
goes on holidays and combines his vacation with a visit of the person he met online
and serious relationships may or maybe not arise. Several interviewees mentioned the
internet as an important medium to maintain contact either with their partner or after
migration with family and friends
A Dutch young man whose partner was currently in Mexico said: “We might not live
together but we do skype 2 hours per day, then you also really get to know
someone well”
A Latina:
‘We met each other on the beach at Isla Margarita we merely exchanged emails. We actually got to know each other by chatting’
In the sample the most important way to come into contact is via friends. Sometimes
even micro chain migration can arise, as a Peruvian woman explained that she was the
first to have a Dutch partner. Later his brother met her sister and a niece of her
connected with a close friend of the family at the wedding in Peru.
22
Education
In graphs 9.1 and 9.2 Dutch and Latinos are compared with regard to educational level
and profession.
Graph 9.1
Educational Level
Educational level
Respondents
25
1
20
2
15
3
10
4
5
5
0
Dutch
1 = University
degree
2 = Bachelor
degree
3 = Secondary
vocational
education
4 = Secondary
school
5 = No data
Latino
Culture
These charts show us that the educational level of Latinos and Dutch people
encountered was rather high and is important that the educational level of the Latinos
in the sample is comparable to that of the Dutch in the sample. The only notable
difference is found in category 4 you see that fewer Dutch received lower education.
This observations can help to explain why in the interviews Latinos made comment that
in the Netherlands they were expected to have low education; expectations which
apparently does not match their education. I heard many complaints that it was not
recognized that they gave up a good position as well. Another point is that probably
due to language differences and recognition of diplomas many Latinos as do other
immigrants work below their educational level (SCP/WODC/CBS 2005) SCP and
Stichting van de arbeid (Jitbahadoer 2004)
23
Graph 9.2
Profesional level
Respondents
20
1
15
2
3
10
4
5
5
0
Dutch
Professional level:
1 = Academic work;
higher management,
highly skilled
professionals
2 = Entrepreneurs,
schooled
professionals,
management
3= Unskilled work
4= Jobless
5= No data
Latino
Culture
In graph 9.2, presenting the level of the jobs respondents hold, the aforementioned is
confirmed, Latinos had relatively more low level jobs or no job at all compared to their
educational level and compared to their Dutch counterparts. It has to be taken into
account that some women do not work because they take care of the kids and women,
especially Latinas were overrepresented in the sample.
Language
Language is an essential aspect in Latino Dutch couples. In the theory I have argued
that language is among the most defining means of communication which causes
cross-cultural adaptation and besides I consider it the most defining aspect of ethnicity.
The results of the question in what language do Dutch Latino couples communicate?
And at what level are shown in a graph and a table.
Table 10.1
Level of competence in partner's
language
Before meeting
Current
Frequency Percent Frequency Percent
Not a word
55
61%
4
4%
A little
15
17%
16
18%
Reasonable
10
11%
28
31%
Good
8
9%
35
39%
Near native speaker
2
2%
6
7%
Total
90
89
No data
3
4
Total
93
93
24
Graph 10.2
respondents as
percentage of total
Partner's Language Competence
Before meeting
Current
70%
60%
50%
40%
30%
20%
10%
0%
Not a word
A little
Reasonable
Good
Near native
speaker
Level
Not surprisingly after forming a relationship partners learn each other’s languages; a
phenomenon which is clearly depicted if you compare the current language skills to the
ones before they met. In the graphics 11.1 and 11.2 the data of Dutch and Latinos are
again separated; we can see clearly that the large majority of the Latinos did not have
any Dutch Language Skills when they met their partner. About 2/3 of the Dutch had
some Spanish language skills and 1/3 even spoke reasonably to well Spanish.
Graph 11.1
number respondents
Current skills in partner's language
1= not a word
25
2= A little
20
3= Reasonable
15
Dutch
10
Latino
4= Good
5= Near native
speaker
5
0
1
2
3
4
5
level
25
Graph 11.2
number respondents
Partner's language skill before meeting partner
1= not a word
50
2= A little
40
3= Reasonable
30
Dutch
20
Latino
4= Good
5= Near native
speaker
10
0
1
2
3
4
5
level
If we look at the graphs 11.1 and 11.2 bearing in mind that these are absolute figures…,
we see that the aforementioned is confirmed (although we should keep in mind that
there are more Latino than Dutch respondents; 55 compared to 38)
We can see that most Latinos in the long run caught up with the Dutch in the skills of
their partner’s language. This is not surprising since nearly all respondents live
currently in the Netherlands. Nevertheless also Dutch people’s Spanish language skills
improved considerably.
Kim’s cross-cultural adaptation theory, to be introduced in the next chapter, is about
communication; one of the questions asked was: In which language do you
communicate with your partner? This was an open question (appendix A)
The results of all 70 couples are depicted in graphic 12.1
Graph 12.1
1= Dutch (D)
2= Spanish (S)
3= English (E)
4= D + E + S
5= D + E
6= D + S
7= German (G) + D
8= D + S + French (F)
10= No Data
Graph12.1
26
These data indicate that Spanish might be the most used communication language
within Dutch-Latino romantic couples.
Again we need to be aware that the language in which couples communicate with each
other is a dynamic aspect within the relation and many cases changed over time.
English is often important in the formation phase; as soon as they settle migrants
develop host language competence regularly resulting in a shift to using another
language. Also typical for Dutch Latino interethnic relationships is that nearly one third
mentioned the use of multiple languages among each other. Interviewees mentioned
trying to speak Dutch to each other in order to stimulate the learning of Dutch, regularly
adding the complaint that it was difficult to actually put that idea into practice.
27
2.3 Environmental conditions & cross-cultural
adaptation
Environmental conditions In this chapter the observation I made, while conducting quantitative and qualitative
research are put to the test with the help of Kim’s (2001) theory on cross-cultural
adaptation. I establish the theory’s applicability and continue with a description of the
environment and the way it relates to Dutch Latino Couples. I will end with a discussion
on adaptation processes and assimilation.
The majority of the respondents, Dutch as well as Latinos, easily meet the boundary
conditions as delineated by Kim (Kim 2001:33). Cross-cultural adaptation cannot occur
if these conditions are not met. There was one Latino respondent, a Latina born in the
Netherlands, of which I am not sure whether she met all the boundary conditions.
Although she did cross societal boundaries, still she grew up in both Dutch (school &
friends) and Latino culture (home & family) and therefore she internalized both cultural
patterns simultaneously. Some Dutch respondents had a partner who had already
acquired extensive host (Dutch) social competence and therefore they communicated
with each other in Dutch; some of these Dutch had few contacts with Latinos apart from
his or her partner. Consequently meeting all boundary condition was disputable
because cross-cultural adaptation was low.
In appearance the Latinos I interviewed covered the whole spectrum of ethnicities you
can find in Latin America. There were only few respondents who felt they were looked
upon strangely or treated as alien by Dutch society; neither as a member of couple nor
as a stranger. This concurs with the notion that the Netherlands is a heterogeneous
and ‘open environment’. Host receptivity for Latin Americans seemed therefore
favourable. Notable exceptions were a Dutch Venezuelan couple that lived in a very
small village in Brabant, they remarked that they were a source of curiosity for the
villagers; they met a lot of incomprehension since everyone from outside the village
was rapidly considered exotic. Another respondent mentioned that as a black man in ‘t
Gooi (an elitist predominantly white area in the Netherlands) he was sometimes treated
in a rather pretentiously philanthropic manner which according to him was typical for
the area and the mentality of many people in ‘t Gooi.
The environmental conditions are clearly explained by Kim nevertheless they are all
influenced by various factors and difficult to measure. On a macro scale host
conformity (Kim 2001: 80) appears to have increased; for example a couple of
respondents were found at a Dutch Language course at the VU (Free University) which
is obligatory for newcomers since 2005. I researched couples and I found it important
to know to which degree Dutch and Latino alike in general expect their partners to
adopt certain patterns. Expectation with regard to a degree of adaptation varies
tremendously between individuals and even then it is impossible to measure.
Regarding adaptation patterns in practical sense it became clear food at least was
easily accepted:
‘We always eat Venezuelan food, since I cook most of the time. He likes
everything except black beans, He eats much better than before I came to live
28
here, I absolutely don’t like ‘frikandel’ or ‘Saté’. We once ate ‘Goulash’, I did like
that.’
Latinos seemed to have more pride in food as Dutch did. Many Latinos and not only
women mentioned ‘their’ food as important to them also in a social way.
A Dutch woman:
‘When we have an argument or a fight it has often to do with food. He likes to
cook and if I do not like it, or when he thinks I do not like it he is very
disappointed. He truly gives love by preparing food; unfortunately for him I am
vegetarian and he is a carnivore’.
Or a Colombian woman:
‘If I am around other Latinas I feel happy because we can share and enjoy our
food’
Ethno linguistic vitality indicates ethnic group strength, for Latinos Spanish language is
the most important binding factor of the community (Fuentes 1992: 112). I considered it
best to conceptualize the Latin American community in the Netherlands as a
community that by language loosely unites stronger related groups formed along
national ties and family ties. All the couples with children tried to raise them bilingually;
all children were said to understand Spanish though they did not always actively speak
it outside their home, because they did not have age peers to speak Spanish to. This is
the result of the absolute and relative small number of Spanish speakers in the
Netherlands.
As children grow older they have more opportunities to find subcultures in which they
can speak Spanish. A mother with adult children mentioned having a Chilean father
had influenced her children in many ways; her currently adult children were both active
within a Latin American music scene. The latter is an important detail, possibly
indicating the diasporic aspects of a Latino identity given that they were active in a
Latin American music scene and not in a Chilean one. Spanish is arguably the second
2
or third most spoken language in the world and thus the incentive for parents to teach
Spanish to the children goes beyond the ability to communicate with family members;
on the contrary it is a valuable asset.
Community building would come closest to describe the stage that characterizes a
Latin American community in the Netherlands according to the different stages Obler &
Clarked discerned. An interesting organization in that respect which actually would
merit deeper investigation was the C.L.O. (Centro Latino Americano de Orientacion) in
Eindhoven which was an organization that helped Latin American immigrants to find
their way in Dutch society. They had a Community building is the most descriptive term
for the stage that characterizes a Latin American community in the Netherlands
according to the different stages Obler & Clarked discerned (Kim 2001: 80, 81). An
interesting organization in that respect, and which actually would merit deeper
investigation, is the C.L.O. (Centro Latino Americano de Orientacion) in Eindhoven
which is an organization that helps Latin American immigrants to find their way in Dutch
society. They have a community centre but most Latin American countries have loosely
2
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_languages_by_number_of_native_speakers visited on June 28th
2007
29
formed their own groups and they meet in a decentralized way. Every year a feria
(open market) is organized. At the feria different groups represent their country and
had a stand where food and information was sold and provided; on a stage folkloric
dances were performed. It is Interesting that the organization is mainly run by women
and also it provided services aimed mostly at women. A course in Dutch cuisine and
3
how to start a business for foreigners were among the things they would offer . In
Amsterdam the Casa Migrante originally set up for Spanish migrants helps immigrants
to find their way in Dutch society; they provide for example daily Dutch courses for
Spanish speaking immigrants for free; all the students were Latin Americans when I
visited them. Characteristic for the type of community building was that Dutch
participation was high especially at the feria, which could be both interpreted either as
community strength or weakness. Weak on the one hand because the group is so
small, and consequently they need outsiders to fill in gaps. Strong on the other hand
because they can incorporate outsiders and thus expand. Self assertion was by no
means asserted aggressively; again ‘the’ Latin American community is far too small
and too loosely connected to have any incentive to do so.
Culture: difference and a frame of reference?
The data from the survey provided indications on language skills and in which
language couples communicated. We have to keep in mind that language is typically
evolving and therefore it fits in a cross-cultural adaptation model as emphasis is placed
on the dynamics of both the strangers and the environment. The Dynamics of language
influenced the environment and the stranger alike and therefore the adaptation process.
Couples started communicating in Spanish or English and over time it often changed
into communicating in Dutch as the immigrant gained host language proficiency.
Simultaneously with the evolution in language proficiency, communication with the host
society is less mediated through the partner. A person becomes more independent and
his position in the environment or field changes.
Respondents often talked about cultural differences; not necessarily actively stimulated
on my behalf. During my research it became clear that the concepts Latino and Dutch
contained a lot of meaning; the meanings ascribed to those entities were patterned
though accounts could also contradict each other. They fulfilled the function of a frame
of reference as persons and their characteristics were often described as either typical
or a-typical Latino.
For example a Cuban male remarked:
‘I truly like the way she manages the household and how she is always
occupied with the family; she is not Dutch in that respect; she is a-typical’.
A Peruvian Woman commented on her Dutch mother in law:
‘Over time she has become the most Latino of all: She talks to strangers on the
bus, is the first to dance at parties and drops by without making an appointment’
A Venezuelan guy commented:
‘Latinos enjoy life more, they worry less when they have to work the next day
and so on; they continue partying and they are freer in their way of thinking’.
Many respondents defined themselves as Latinos and sometimes, in order to be more
specific or to add subtle variations they mentioned their nationality or another subgroup.
3
http://www.cloeindhoven.nl/ visited on June 6th 2007
30
The same Peruvian woman (who had lived in Venezuela for a couple of years by the
way) expressed:
‘Latino culture is simply more fun than the Dutch culture’.
She had two different groups of friends, one exclusively Peruvian and a
Mexican/Venezuelan group and she explained:
‘The Peruvians are quite different they do not go out that much, they prefer to
stay at home, with the Venezuelans I go out they like to dance and drink and so
do I’
Or:
‘We are Cubans…well educated Latinos’
The dynamics of cross-cultural adaptation in couples
Before we discuss more material derived from the interviews I schematically depict
cross-cultural communication for the specific cases of individuals that are part of a
Dutch Latino interethnic romantic relationship.
The two squares represent Dutch and Latino individuals that form a couple. The couple
is tied together on the upper extreme by Love and on the lower end by practical
matters; their relationship is maintained by forms communication like among others
romantic behaviour.
They encounter themselves in a social environment depicted by a circle: I have drawn
two circles; one representing a Latino environment and the other a Dutch social
environment. The lines stand for forms of communication and practical consideration
that connect the individuals forming a couple but also connect the individuals to the
31
social environments and vice versa. Forms of communication and practical
considerations are mediated by all aspects related to ethnicity; like language and
internalized patterns of behaviour and thinking. We see depicted that communication
can be either aimed to both social environments directly but also via the partner. Crosscultural adaptation occurs in the shaded area where Dutch and Latino worlds meet; the
interethnic couple functions as a nodal point in the connection between social
environments.
Cross-cultural adaptation
Consciously and unconsciously behavioural habits change, the enculturation process
confronts individuals with taken for granted habits. Practically everywhere in Latin
4
America almuerzo (lunch) is the main and biggest meal A Venezuelan woman
mentioned that though she would like to have almuerzo, there was simply no
opportunity to have such a meal where she worked. Now she is accustomed to having
just a sandwich or something small for lunch.
There are even more dimensions too it nicely exemplifying the perpetuity of the model
that it sometimes takes a return to the home country to become aware of a
deculturation process. A Venezuelan man explained that the last time he went to
Venezuela some family members told him he had become a bit distant; cold in his
manners with family and old friends. He realized that they were probably right and
commented that you adapt to habits in the Netherlands without even consciously
noticing yourself.
The same Peruvian woman (who had lived in Venezuela for a couple of years)
expressed:
‘Latino culture is simply more fun than Dutch culture’.
She had two different groups of friends, one exclusively Peruvian and a
Mexican/Venezuelan group and as she explained:
‘The Peruvians are quite different they do not go out that much, they prefer to
stay at home, with the Venezuelans I go out they like to dance and drink and so
do I’
Or:
‘We are Cubans…well educated Latinos’
The enculturation process confronts individuals with taken for granted habits, both
consciously and unconsciously behavioural habits change (Kim 2001: 50). An example
is the almuerzo (lunch) which is the most important and biggest meal practically all
5
over Latin America. A Venezuelan woman mentioned that though she would like to
have almuerzo, there was simply no opportunity to have such a meal where she
worked. Now she is accustomed to having just a sandwich or something small for lunch.
There are even more dimensions to it that exemplify nicely the perpetuity of the model
like for example that it sometimes takes a return to the home country to become aware
of a deculturation process. A Venezuelan man explained that the last time he went to
Venezuela some family members told him he had become a bit distant; cold in his
manners with family and old friends. He realized that they were probably right and
4
5
http://www.dosmanosperu.com/dosmanos/english/latin-culture/food_and_drink.php October 10th 2007
http://www.dosmanosperu.com/dosmanos/english/latin-culture/food_and_drink.php October 10th 2007
32
commented that you adapt to habits in the Netherlands without even consciously
noticing yourself.
In my opinion Kim focuses too much on assimilation because she nearly always
discusses the stranger’s point of view, whereas the adaptation of the stranger towards
the dominant culture in the host society receives little attention though she does not
deny the existence of it altogether. In Kim’s reasoning the power structures in a country
force immigrants to adapt much more to the host societies than natives are influenced
by the influx of immigrants(Kim 2001: 152). Nevertheless during my research I found it
surprising to what extend some Dutch, after all part of the dominant culture in society,
adapted towards Latino culture, with regard to language and food consumption for
example. The Netherlands as an environment offers few pull factors that stimulate
Dutch to adapt. The intense communication within the relation and in few occasions
with friends and family could therefore be stimulating cross-cultural adaptation,
individuals’ personalities are important as well; Kim names for example preparedness
for change, adaptive personality and ethnic proximity as factors that influence
individuals’ adaptability. It must be noted that some Dutch had spent time in Latin
America where environmental conditions pressuring for adaptation are much stronger.
The experience with Latin America could have provided these individuals with some
skills; most importantly language skills that could have helped them to keep on learning
when they were eventually in the Netherlands. The quantitatave data in any case did
not suggest this was the case for many respondents. Therefore the argument that
cross-cultural adaptation in romantic relationships is in general more reciprocal than
cross-cultural adaptation driven by other relations appears more prominent. It is no
coincidence that some authors regard couples as mini cultures provided that they
maintain an intense and repetitive relation and therefore influence each other
tremendously.
According to Kim’s theory this seemingly one-sided change can, among other factors,
be explained because of the differences between the sizes of the population sharing a
given stranger’s culture and that of the native population. The dominance of the host
culture is a result of the fact that the daily survival and functioning of strangers depends
on their adaptation towards the host society. The relation to the host culture is
mediated by the partner and thus dependency on co ethnics is in general low, at least
in practical and financial sense. Nevertheless, to the surprise of some Dutch, contacts
with co ethnics were sometimes quickly established upon arrival.
Dutch male:
‘It all went a kind of fast, she came over and we moved together to Eindhoven.
She met a fellow Peruvian at the market, who knew more Peruvians and a
couple of weeks later I am practicing a folkloric dance every Tuesday evening.’
The coercive power exercised by the host society upon individuals differs enormously
between couples and individuals. We will see later on that many Latinos had little
opportunity to meeting other Latinos due to the remoteness of their residence; in
another case the partner was in fact an obstacle to meeting other Latinos. At the same
time the following example serves to show how the dynamics of language mediate
connections with the host society.
A Colombian woman:
‘If I am around other Latinas I feel happy because we can share and enjoy our
food and music, only he [her boyfriend] does not trust Latinos quickly; that’s why
I do not have many friends yet. Lately I have met more Dutch people since I
speak a little Dutch by now.’
33
Her Dutch boyfriend on the same matter:
‘Sometimes you do not know what they want from you that’s why I prefer to
keep some distance at first with some of the Colombians she meets outside’.
The example of the feria organised by CLO had many dimensions viewed from an
integration perspective. On the one hand it is a platform for Latinos to enjoy a Latino
lifestyle and to connect with other Latinos. At the same time as there was an obvious
shortage of men, the Latinos needed their husbands or other male Dutch friends to
participate in the dances or other activities. Therefore it indeed functioned as a platform
for Dutch to integrate into Latino culture. At the feria I saw many Dutch that had
assimilated thoroughly in a Latino environment with regard to language, food
consumption and other expressions of Latino culture. These observations stood at the
basis of my focus on the two directions in which cross-cultural adaptation moves.
Another point I want to stress because of the findings of my research is that crosscultural adaptation processes have extremely diverse outcomes. The interplay between
the characteristics of an individual and the environment are highly unpredictable.
Places where language courses were offered, at the VU and Casa Migrante, function
also two dimensional from an integration perspective. Because fresh immigrants that
participated in a language course various times mentioned they met other Latinos at
these places which often became friends or at least good acquaintances. At the two
places I visited the VU and Casa Migrante, little Dutch was spoken. One of the main
steps towards successful integration, the language course, functioned at the same time
as a meeting point for Latin Americans, and as an opportunity to speak Spanish and
therefore to evade pressures of host conformity for a while.
Cross-cultural adaptation ascribed in power relations
In the eyes of a migration student it is such a beautiful thing to see two people meet,
start a romantic relationship or even a family and by mutual learning, create a new
mini-culture influenced by both partners’ cultural backgrounds. In practice this process
it not always easy to cope with. This was in concurrence with the experiences of most
of the persons interviewed:
A Bolivian woman who had lived 10 years in the USA before she moved to the
Netherlands said:
‘But the first months were very difficult; I depended on him in terms of money
and I did not know the Netherlands well, neither did I speak Dutch. I used to be
very independent back in the States and he was not well prepared to assist me
with many things, he sort of left me to myself.’
A Cuban man mentioned a comparable experience:
Living in another country meant a big change for me: the climate, the language,
‘the culture it was a complete physical and spiritual transformation. She (his
partner at that time) was indifferent about that.’
In these examples the negative experience of a culture shock is linked to the partner.
Due to the connection made between a culture shock and the partner one can imagine
that culture shock experiences can put a relationship under severe pressure.
Taking into account Hall’s advice on power relations, it was observed that the Latinos
who move to the Netherlands to live together with a partner are initially socially
dependent on him or her. Until strangers have acquired communication competence
that matches with those of the natives they are socially handicapped (Kim 2001: 73).
34
The interviews taught that recent immigrants, because of the language or for other
reasons lead lives less busy and less independent than they did in their home countries.
A woman who has lived less than two years in the Netherlands in a small village:
‘I have few friends, I know some Latinas from the naturalisation course but they
live far away, my driver’s license is not valid here and public transport takes
ages. In Venezuela this was different. I was always working, studying and on
my way doing something. Here I mainly sit at home, I only go out to the
naturalisation course, maybe this will change in the future’.
Besides the social handicap many Latinos are at least initially also by law dependent
on their partner; their residence and working permit hinges on their being together.
Many persons depend also financially on their partner. We can all imagine that this has
major repercussions for a relationship and such a situation seems especially difficult for
male Latinos to cope with. Without aiming to determine a success rate of Dutch Latino
couples, it is still important that several respondents expressed the perception that in
general Dutch males with Latina females were far more likely to stay together than
Latino men with Dutch women.
Another Venezuelan woman, after three months in the Netherlands:
‘I do not miss Venezuela but I do miss my independent life over there I had
always lots of stuff to do. There is not much really I can do. I was happy when I
could be a volunteer at the LAFF [Latin American Film Festival]; they do not
allow me to make money’.
‘I am a foreigner, but I do not feel like one……………. Although the laws do
make me feel rejected’
A Cuban man:
‘Due to unfair legislation the Dutch partner has a lot of power during the first five
years of a relation, which causes unbalanced situations. Besides, Dutch women
like to abuse that power. In my experience relationships between Dutch men
and Latina women are much more stable, and I know a lot of them’
In the interviews I tried to focus on concrete examples (Appendix B) and after difficult
times in which a lack of support is might be experienced, one adapts and becomes
practically and mentally increasingly fit to live in the new environment. The increased
functionality or host cultural competence was noticed by a partner and made him feel
proud:
‘Everyone in the neighbourhood knows her. When she once forgot her wallet at
the grocery shop the cash girl told her to take the groceries and pay later. That
never happened nor would happen to me!
I have tried to show the flexibility and dynamics of cross-cultural adaptation for Dutch
Latino couples. Although vast differences among couples are apparent all couples deal
with the way they are related to existing power structures. In the next chapter I discuss
in more detail some of the specific issues Dutch Latino couples deal with.
35
2.4 Couples, Communication, Romance and the limits
of Cross-cultural adaptation
This chapter contains a selection of the findings that appeared vital for the interplay
between romantic and practical communication mediated by ethnicity and distance in
Dutch Latino romantic relations. I begin with some reflexive considerations which came
up while performing the interviews, I proceed with an attempt to analyze and describe
what were considered to be the essential mediating issues: Prejudice, deciding where
to live, family, romance and the limits of cross-cultural adaptation.
Given that the relationships were still intact must have influenced substantially the
answers provided by the interviewees. For instance, several negative comments were
expressed when there were references to past relationships; either of the respondent
or past relationships of friends. If I had interviewed people who used to have an
interethnic romantic relationship in the past a totally different image would have been
projected.
Many of the people interviewed had already thoroughly considered their relationship
and sometimes had generated elaborate explanations for certain differences. Therefore
it is reflected that being involved in an interethnic romantic union confronts persons
with cultural differences internally but also externally, provided that the social
environment is interested and actively stimulates the individuals to comment on their
experiences. Cultural differences are a highly discussed topic, also in the absence of
migration scholars. Consequently it occurred that the interviewed persons already had
done some thinking themselves in terms of cultural difference and were already
attempting to explain the phenomenon before being asked for it. It appeared as if
university trained persons were much more prone to have profound explanations for
certain events and the things that occurred between them and their; sometimes they
talked in very abstract terms about their relationship. Others had some difficulties to
come up with examples.
One of the couples had huge difficulties communicating among each other since her
Dutch was less than basic and he did not speak Spanish; both spoke little English.
Nevertheless when he was asked if he could give an example that might have shown
Cultural differences between him and his wife he responded:
‘Cultural differences?... I have not really noticed … Maybe If I would live in
Venezuela I would be more confronted with it’.
As you can see in the question list (Appendix B) the interviews consisted roughly of
four parts: Day to day business, romance, family & social environment and culture. The
type and stage of a relationship influences to a large extent how people talk about
these four categories. Persons whose relationship did not seem to thrive as it once
may have done, were less elaborate on romantic subjects. For couples who did not
share a household and did not have the experiences of adapting to each others
lifestyles in a very practical way yet, day to day business and household annoyances
were not inspiring topics yet.
When persons that already lived together for many years had become so used to their
differences they needed some encouragement to realize certain initial differences.
Either they had grown together to such an extent that early experiences of surprise or
36
difference needed to be recalled before events were remembered at the intensity of
earlier days.
Many circumstances influenced the respondents and therefore the kind of answers
they gave. If one thing became apparent doing the interviews it would be that every
couple and every relationship was unique. Even when similarities were found different
causes could be at the root of the similarity. In the end several points came to the fore
as being specific for Dutch Latino romantic couples in general.
Prejudices
Within Dutch Latino relationships prejudices with regard to each other’s background,
family and country members play an important role internally as well as externally.
Latin America is by Dutch people often perceived as consisting of third world countries,
which not always matched the perception of those Latin Americans I interviewed; just a
few of them grew up in poor families. Some gave up good job positions in order to
move to the Netherlands. Important for the research is that the sacrifice of a good
position in Latin America in order to move to the Netherlands is often not recognized as
such by the partner or Dutch society. Observations and comments collected for this
research indicated that Dutch society seems to assume that someone moves to the
Netherlands in order to gain in wealth or at least will gain in wealth as a consequence
of the migration. This idea in Dutch society is expressed by suspicion or concern with
regard to the motives of the migrating partner by family, friends or colleagues.
Sometimes people openly doubt the motives of the partner or warn for the probability
that a Latino partner might take advantage of one’s citizenship of a first world country
or one’s riches.
A Dutch Man:
‘Before I went to Isla Margarita several people had told me to be careful with the
women, since they were only after your money and they could not be trusted’.
A Dutch Woman:
‘I think my partner loves me. But you can never really know if it is true, you will
only know for sure when he receives his citizenship and stays with you’.
Or a typical remark reflecting existing social ideas made when people inquired about
the thesis I was working on:
I: ‘It’s about mixed couples, Dutch and Latinos living together in the
Netherlands.’
Man: ‘Ah! You mean economic traffic from Latin America to the Netherlands
hahaha’
The people I interviewed, without exception mentioned the perception of the social
environment like colleagues and family altered radically as soon as they got to know
them better. Do not forget I spoke mainly to persons still together; if they had broken up
that could be reason for parts of the social environment to see their reservations
towards the migration motives of South-Americans confirmed.
With respect to the opposite perspective, namely friends and family still in Latin
America, I heard several stories on worried parents in Latin America who initially
opposed a migration to the Netherlands.
37
‘My mother was scared to death when I decided to go live in Europe with my
boyfriend, and even worse we were not even married yet’.
The essential difference I believe is that such fears stemmed from a general distrust of
something unknown whereas Dutch warnings pointed specifically at the danger that
someone is after economic gain and with that in mind connects with a Dutch national.
Where to live?
We have seen in chapter 2.2 that most individuals in the sample meet and form a
couple either on vacation or when they study or work abroad for a while. These are
usually irregular times or a break out of the normal or stable life they have. The
decision where to live permanently has a high and lasting impact on both partners
therefore it is an interesting topic to discuss, while discussing the issues at play it
uncovered a lot of consideration and thoughts on either countries or the world. It could
reveal whether one was prepared to sacrifice ‘home’ for a partner and often showed in
what country mentally someone’s home is.
Variation in the kind of answers received was high and so did the experiences with the
imagined residence places. Some Dutch already had lived in Latin America, others had
tried to find a job there but it seemed impossible to make a living at comparable level
as they could in the Netherlands. Many Dutch mentioned they could easily live in Latin
America but did not seem to seriously attempt it. More internationally oriented couples
usually added ‘or anywhere else in the world’ after having confirmed that one day
they just as well might live in Latin America. Economic opportunities, security and a
future for the children were by far the most important consideration to live in the
Netherlands and consequently not in Latin America.
‘I could be able to make a living over there, but saving enough money for a
ticket to the Netherlands? Pfff… it would probably cost me all my savings after
two years of hard work. Now she can visit her family once a year and we still
have enough to live comfortably.’
‘She does not need to go back to Colombia in particular. It could very well be
that one day we will live in another country in the future; but not necessarily
Colombia. As long as we are comfortable in the place we live’.
‘I would like to go back but the children are not used to live there; it is also not
easy to find a good school.’
An interesting and logical alternative resident place a few times mentioned was Spain.
Spain served as an intermediary solution. It was motivated by three reasons, of which
the most important argument for Latin Americans was language. The second reason is
that in some cases family lives in Spain, which is a major migration destination for Latin
Americans since the 1980s; in 2005 over 1 million Latinos lived in Spain (CBS 2007).
The desire to live close(r) to at least part of the family is often expressed. The third
reason involved economic opportunities which are in general considered to be better in
Spain in combination with the first two. Spain is usually talked about as a pragmatic
solution and not similar to idyllic accounts of Latin America.
‘My sister lives in Spain sometimes I would like to go there too. There is more
racism over there, but at least you would know when you are being
38
discriminated. I do not feel discriminated here but I just do not understand them
very well.’
For most Latinos I noticed that the home country is more than a country of origin; it is
also a fantasy of homeliness? It is intriguing that like a loved one who is overseas or at
least far away the mother land tends to be idealized. Latin America was mostly
associated, with happy family, many friends, lots of activities, parties, good music and
good food but also liberty, joy and happiness. Living in outside Latin America does not
seem to evoke critical thoughts on the home country. In fact It is an experience shared
by sojourner’s as idealization is a way to deal with adaptation stress (Lijtmaer 2001:
428) When talking about Latin America Latinos did not emphasize much on negative
aspects, and often critical remarks on behalf of the Dutch partner concerning Latin
America where not appreciated.
‘He sometimes says he is not surprised these [Peruvian] people are poor if you
would only see how they organize things. This is not good, that is stupid….. If
he talks like that I become angry. He just does not understand what it is like’.
Limits of Adaptation
As a result of experiencing many adaptation problems some Latinos are more likely to
not feel at home. For many it was difficult to become Dutch in more than a formal way.
The experience of living abroad and learning another language, combined with an
awareness that someone will probably never be able to speak and express oneself as
one does in one’s own language is a difficulty many Latinos experience. We have seen
that in my sample people migrated on average at an age of nearly 28 and we should
expect that many will never learn to speak Dutch fluently. And though Kim’s book (2001)
and my research show that people over time are very flexible and able to adapt,
language is essential and if one will never master the language at a high level one has
increased chances of feeling alienated.
‘I know I do not speak perfectly Dutch, I am well aware of that. I am a
perfectionist and my Dutch will never reach a level that is acceptable to me to
be able to communicate at high level; that is why I am not fond of speaking
Dutch. A friend of mine also Cuban uses difficult and typical Dutch words just to
impress others and to appear more Dutch. It’s ridiculous; he is a black Cuban
and will never be Dutch’.
Cross-cultural adaptation does not mean one eventually completely assimilates into the
host society; though assimilation processes help one adapt. It means one can
practically and emotionally cope with the difficulties one encounters in the host society.
Exceptional cases
Of the interviewed people three cases were quite opposite to the others as they
invoked different, far less determining discourses with regard to ethnicity. I deem
important to elaborate on them given that I generalize in this chapter with regard to
ethnicity I felt these exception need explanation.
One girl admitted a prior interest and desire to live in the Netherlands or Europe; she
had met her boyfriend when she was in the Netherlands during one year as an
exchange student. At the moment of the interview she had been staying for three
months in the Netherlands trying to stay longer but she was aware she probably could
not. The last four years they had travelled to visit each other whenever they could.
39
The way she talked about the Netherlands was unmatched in her positive judgement of
the Netherlands compared to others who usually preferred to make some critical
remarks.
‘The Netherlands is like a dream to me, it represents happiness. In Venezuela
the very sight of a beer or a bicycle makes me think about the Netherlands and
my boyfriend. I am a foreigner but I do not feel like one.’
Whereas other Latinos complained about the individuality of Dutch society or lack of
family spirit she admired and appreciated that, as well as the directness of
communication by Dutch people.
‘The Venezuelans I know complain a lot about Dutch culture, food and weather.
Dutch are too honest and direct they say; which is like saying Dutch are rude.
But I honestly prefer it like that’
Her case was different in the following ways. She admitted having a prior wish to go to
Europe or the Netherlands and she was not afraid to express that, whereas other
Latinos were emphasizing on the coincidence which brought them to the Netherlands.
Contrary to most Latin Americans, she did not complain about Dutch society, she even
admired it in many ways. It seems that her case can be better compared with various
Dutch people who expressed having some prior interest in Latin America or Spain.
The other a-typical case was a Peruvian woman that unlike other respondents would
only hesitantly touch upon the issue of cultural difference when I finally asked her
directly:
I: ‘Do you show each other affection in a special manner
She: Like the rest of the world I suppose’
I: ‘Do you notice that sometimes certain like for example showing affection are
different because you have different backgrounds?’
She: [silence] …’Latinos are maybe more open? But I am not much like that
either.’
She met her partner when she had already lived considerable time in the Netherlands,
she did not came to the Netherlands to live with a partner but to study.
She had an international perspective in general:
I: ‘Have you ever thought about living in Latin America?’
She:’ Yes, or wherever in the world.’
I: ‘So you discussed it together?’
She:’ Yes, when an opportunity presents itself, whether in Peru or somewhere
else we would like to go live there.’
These examples represent three interviews of individuals less than 30 years old,
who met their partner in the Netherlands, and who communicated with each
other in English; all persons concerned had received academic education and
moved easily in international circles.
40
Family: affection and communication
As predicted by the cross-cultural adaptation model most Latino immigrants, settlers in
a new environment, experienced some sort of a culture shock which could last from a
couple of months to even two years for the unlucky ones. Since this study deals
specifically with couples it was remarkable and important that some expressed a lack
of support by their partner in their first steps in a new society.
As expressed by a Cuban man:
‘She speaks 7 languages but never bothered to teach me Dutch, she was
always too tired or too busy to help me’
Being a teacher for almost all his live could have influenced this expectation as well.
A Bolivian Girl recalled the following experience:
‘The first months were very difficult; he worked and I did not. When he came
back he was tired, on Saturdays he wanted to have a lie-in and on Sundays he
had to go play hockey; so I spent most of the time alone at home; even in the
weekends’.
Such findings could be interpreted as a sign of different expectations regarding the role
a partner has to fulfil, regardless of gender.
In fact the role of the family is quite different in Latin American societies; in this
research much more weight was attached to the family by Latino respondents than by
Dutch respondents. Latin American societies are collectively oriented compared to
individualistic Northern European societies (Hayes and Allinson 2000: 164) and we can
trace this back in the meaning of family for Latinos. Without exception all Latin
Americans mentioned the family as the thing missed most and had difficulties dealing
with being far away from relatives.
Expressed by a young Colombian woman:
‘The worst part is being so far away from family; without skype I don’t know if I
could have managed living here’.
A Venezuelan woman: ‘I would like to live in Venezuela because I miss my family.
Only for my family, I do not like the political situation, or the economic
opportunities and security is even worse’.
Many Dutch shared the experience of being welcomed and received in an enthusiastic
and hospitable way when they went to Latin America for a visit of the parents or other
family members of their partner.
A Dutch man recalled his experience in Peru:
‘They lived in a hut of clay; but what they did have, they gave it to us. The best
room the biggest piece of meat it was all for us, just incredible’.
And a young Dutch man:
‘Despite the language barrier I was received in Mexico with a lot of warmth and
they made me feel more than welcome, being a Christian, like them was an
important factor that made them more comfortable with me’.
41
On the opposite Latin Americans often cautiously expressed some displeasure in the
way they had been received; they did not mentioned being received badly but they
seemed to miss the warmth a family is supposed to provide.
A Latino commented:
My family in law was a bit complicated by nature. They did not treat me badly
but they were just a cold family. If I had to choose between drinking coffee with
a random person in the street or someone of her family, I would probably prefer
the first.
I interpreted the repeatedly made observation of a lack of warmth partly as a sign that
the family in Dutch society fulfils less functions. The family is probably not the most
important institution to give emotional and practical support.
Closely related to the lack of warmth experienced by Latinos when dealing with Dutch
people is the repeatedly made observation that Dutch people do not express
themselves emotionally and are often referred to as “cold”. The following remarks show
that Latinos seemingly are much more elaborate in showing affection. For some it was
hard to grasp this difference in expressing feelings.
As exemplified by this conversation I had with a Venezuelan woman:
She: ‘People do not show their emotions. Do you [me and all other Dutch] really
have the same feelings as we have?’
I: ‘We feel the same thing I guess, but maybe we do not show it that much’
She: ‘uhmmmm I do not know……I still think it is strange that you act so cold.
Well I give my mother in law a big hug if I see her! No matter if she likes it or not.
`
A young Dutch man:
‘Her emotions are kind of strong and for me it is sometimes difficult to deal with,
when I do something wrong I am always reproached that Europeans are cold
and rude’.
Or:
´Those people [her family in law] are very good, but cold. You have to know
them to understand them´
If Dutch are in general perceived to be cold it should be felt in the relationship between
two lovers as well. The comment of a Cuban man was striking. He explained to me that
the interplay between two lovers in Cuba is more sophisticated and emphasis is placed
on subtle details. He made a comparison with a former Cuban lover: he would give her
personal gifts like clothes or earrings and later when she wore his gifts she could show
her appreciation of the gift. She would give him presents too, so he could do the same.
They would discuss or ask opinions on what kind of clothes to wear when they go out
together; things like that which according to him are very different with a Dutch partner.
He came up with this example to explain his point:
‘Once, to surprise my girlfriend I gave her a dress as a present; instead of being
glad with the present she was in shock; how could I know her size? And how
could I know whether she would like it or not? She almost never buys him
presents either’.
A different style in communicating was also noticed by a Venezuelan man:
42
‘We have a lot of communication problems, because things are interpreted
wrongly. She can be very direct or she blames me for things that seem
unreasonable to me. Like: you never do anything! After having spent a whole
day at work’.
‘I was well received and they let me know they appreciated me which was nice,
I also think that they would not have let me know if they did not like me. The
indirectness, let’s say the fear to upset someone is a negative side of Latin
American culture to me.’
Romance
A key part of the interview and the research were the questions with regard to
how the couples met, how they showed their love and how romance was
exercised or experienced.
Just introducing the subject of romance stimulated stereotypes of romantic Latin Lovers
compared to “clumsy” Dutch with a lack of charm. The image of the Latinos as a far
more romantic person than Dutch was most of times mentioned, yet not always
reinforced by the respondents.
A typical response was:
‘A Latino takes more care of his wife he will give her compliments, he will offer
his jacket when she’s cold, whereas Dutch guys do not even notice your cold’.
It was remarkable that some Dutch men said that they had to get used to the high
amount of romantic behaviour they were expected to exercise. Some tried to explain
their partner that they just weren’t like that; others worked hard to meet those high
standards:
Like a young guy who had a Mexican girlfriend said:
‘I do everything but really everything now to be a gentleman’
What kind of things?
‘Let’s say all the things I would usually only do for my grandmother. Like
opening the car door for her, offering my jacket in case of the slightest chilly
breeze. These things are very important to her’.
The interviews taught me that romantic behaviour is sometimes distinctive from being a
sensitive caring persons and sometimes not. Because on the other hand many female
Latin Americans expressed that what they liked in their boyfriends or husbands was
that they were caring, honest, sensitive persons that took care of the children very well
if they had any.
A Peruvian woman:
‘Here you can see a man walking with a buggy or bringing the kids to school by
bike which is rarely seen in Latin America.’
This description also fits the image often depicted of ‘the Dutch male’; nevertheless
these caring husbands were often not considered to be really romantic.
The Latino man, on the contrary was differently depicted.
43
A teacher commented:
My boyfriend combines western and non western elements, he possesses the
nice aspects of ‘machismo’, he makes me feel female en he has passion for the
things he does. He is spontaneous, when he and his friends gather they truly
enjoy live en they know how to party.
Some Latinos regarded themselves as quite romantic too and were quick to
respond:
‘I guess I am, I give her flowers, I explain romantic lyrics to her’
Though not always of course:
I like to call her doll because she is very blond and has a beautiful face, really
just like a doll. I haven’t been really romantic yet though, that still has to come.
One of the few Latina women that did not take the issue of romantic behaviour as an
opportunity to complain (playfully) about their husband countered my question directly
and thereby illustrated the blurry distinction between romantic and caring behaviour:
‘But what is romantic? For it is far more important that someone is loving, cares
for his environment and family than that he would buy me flowers and stuff’.
This statement was happily confirmed by her husband:
‘Flowers make her sneeze anyway, so why would I buy them for her’
Other Dutch men tried, less successfully, to disagree with their female partners when
they were accused of not being romantic:
A car mechanic tried to defend him:
‘I just need a bit of a push start and then I can be perfectly romantic’.
The question “what is the most romantic thing your partner has done for you” also
made clear that romantic behaviour has many variations and different connotations:
‘That one time when I got home late in the evening, candles were lit everywhere
in the house, I just had to follow the rose leafs where she waited for me in a
sexy dress’.
I consider this as romantic with some erotic connotations.
Quite different:
‘The most romantic moment we shared was when she gave birth to our
daughter; I stood next to her bed for 24 hours never leaving her. This was a
decisive moment which created a great deal of trust between us’.
Somewhere in between:
‘He is not romantic at all though the surprise vacation by car in the countryside
of California was the closest to it’.
On the other hand Latinas had a different image; they care a lot for their appearance;
they are fond of make-up, beauty salons etc.
44
He considers Latinas as baby dolls that spent hours before the mirror you have
to pick them up at their home, bring them back and open doors for them. When
he complains I am not flexible or to cold I tell him to exchange me for a Latina
puppet, it makes him laugh.
During a discussion among three Latinos they agreed that you have to be careful not to
overdress or use too much make up since their Dutch partner would not appreciate it.
‘They [Dutch men] don’t like those plastic types’
One of them worked in a beauty salon and mentioned:
‘I use as little make up as I possibly can and still he considers it too much’
Another important observation was the strong presence of an image of Latin Americans
as rather romantic opposed to Dutch. Dutch had caring qualities but it was considered
to be something else than romantic. The discussions on romance were in many ways
similar to any “man versus woman” discussion. In such a discussion partners are
compared to stereotypes of male or female behaviour. In the discussions I had an
ethnic dimension was added to the discussion and in many ways able to push the
gender discussion to the background.
At a certain point I realised that for some reason we usually discussed romantic
behaviour of men or the expectations women had of men with regard to romance. What
women would do to be considered romantic, was not perceived to be of such major
importance by either sexes, as if women were not expected to be romantic.
Romance forms the bridge to the next chapter which deals with one of the central
points in the thesis on relationship symbols and its specific function in interethnic
relationships.
45
2.5 Relationship Symbols and Ethnicity
An article by Baxter (1987) on relationship symbols gave me the idea to apply
relationship symbols to Dutch Latino romantic relationships, in the hope to gain a
deeper understanding in such relationships. An explanation, examples and
interpretations of relationship symbols in Dutch Latino couples are given in this chapter.
A romantic relation is constructed by its parties through communication, by different
forms of communication is in a variety of ways a meaning system is created (Baxter
1987). Accounts or objects that signify the relationship symbolically are ways to create
meaning. In Baxter’s research a team of trained interviewers did 108 interviews among
a university population and asked them about relationship symbols; apparently a whole
variety of symbols would come up. Baxter found on average 7.3 symbols per
respondent, which seemed to me a rich response; furthermore he noted vivid
descriptions of the symbols’ history. In my interviews I also asked about relationship
symbols (see app. B) but when asked directly it was most of the times difficult for my
respondents to come up with examples as it is a rather abstract question. We have
seen that for some respondents the term cultural difference was almost too abstract to
deal with; Given that I did not deal with a university population and unlike cultural
differences, relationship symbols are not a daily subject of conversation. I am not trying
to argue that love symbols and symbolic accounts are exclusively for academics; I did
find many symbolic accounts usually they appeared indirectly when discussing other
aspects of the relationship.
Baxter distributed the symbols among five basic symbol types: Physical Objects (e.g.
gifts), Cultural Artefacts (e.g. songs), Special Places, Special Events or Times in the
relationship and Behavioural Actions (Baxter 1987: 266). These symbol types could
have different functions of which Baxter distinguished 10; the most frequent were:
recollection prompt and intimacy indicator (Baxter 1987: 261).
The character of the in depth interviews was not fit for a quantitative analysis. I did not
count the relationship symbols; clearly the response was not nearly as abundant as in
Baxter’s research. After analysis of the interviews on relationship symbols, three
important tendencies were selected of which I will give examples. Firstly, many
relationship symbols were connected to Latin America. Secondly, assimilation
processes or what Kim calls Cross-cultural adaptation process was often charged with
symbolic meaning for the relationship. The third tendency did not quite fit the
categories Baxter had discerned, that’s why I named this category ‘destiny indicator’.
Destiny indicator are symbolic accounts that serve to make it appear as if two persons
despite different backgrounds are especially well equipped to be together, ‘made for
each other’, or destined to be together. Symbols in a romantic relation that are
recognized as such by both partners have more value and are more powerful binding
mechanisms.
Relationship symbols were often connected to Latin America and almost never related
to the Netherlands or Dutch artefacts or culture. Examples were often souvenirs or gifts
from the country of origin of the Latin partner usually collected while travelling together
or when visiting family. For a Dutch woman music records of Chilean indigenous music
they had bought on their first joint trip to Chile were important.
‘We bought many Music records of local groups we would listen to when we
were together in Chile; I have many fond memories of these moments. I kept
them, I do not listen to them that often though. Wait let me show you....’
46
Souvenirs of joint trips are anyway a recurring relationship symbol.
‘All the things we buy on holidays are important to us. We spend so few time together
that when we travel together it is very intense.’
‘In Colombia on a family visit I bought a little wooden statue representing an
indigenous woman for her, I told her the statue resembled her; which was not
true but it was funny. Then she bought me a very ugly little statue of a man. We
have placed them together in the window still’.
For a Peruvian woman it was important that they had a marital ceremony in Peru.
‘We married in the Netherlands but to me it did not feel complete because
everything was taken care for by others. In Peru we organized everything
ourselves and my family was there. My husband also built a house there we all
helped and that meant a lot to me’
Many Latin American objects are symbolic because they symbolize the past and the
life of the person that left his or her home country. This sacrifice or loss that a partner
experiences, since ‘Latin America’ is not there anymore, is an absence compensated
for with symbols. If a partner recognizes the absence experienced by his or her partner
such objects can be valuable to him or her as well and at the same he or she
communicates their bond. Visits in the home country of the Latino partner were in a
similar way important.
‘You want to get to know the country of your partner and when I was there it
was special, I felt connected’
‘My dream is that he comes to the Netherlands first. Then we have a long, long
vacation in Bolivia and after that we will have kids, first a girl.’
Not everything from Latin America is a relationship symbol of course. In a couple of
households I saw a typical kind of rather bright coloured kitsch religious statues and
paintings of Jesus Christ or other patron saints that one can find all over Latin America.
Most of these persons were not that religious; when asked they mentioned that these
religious kitsch objects gave them a sense of familiarity and made them feel at home.
Such attributes do bring some Latin American character into the household, yet I did
not consider these relationship symbols. I would have if they had told me it meant
something for their relationship but these were symbols that represent just Latin
America.
Other important types of relationship symbols in Dutch Latin American relationships
were: shared experiences, difficult situations, like distance or communication problems
despite which the relationship endured. When people were able to overcome these
problems the romantic aspects of inconvenient moments remained and were
considered defining for their relationship.
‘We spend all day together but hardly said a word to each other because we did
not speak each others languages. Still we had a great time, we would just smile
and stare at each other and feel uncomfortable for not being able to
communicate’
Or:
47
‘I used to call to a phone in her village and than a niece of hers would translate
my English into Spanish that’s how we communicated. I had taken Spanish
lessons in the mean time. After work I studied three to four hours which cost me
great effort. In four weeks I felt comfortable enough to speak Spanish. So I told
her niece that my girlfriend could talk with me directly. When I started speaking
Spanish she screamed out loud to everyone in the village: ‘whaaa he speaks
Spanish!!’
Ha! That was a beautiful.’
Many couples mentioned that at first they could hardly communicate and were forced
‘to speak with their hands’. It was a repeatedly invoked example but it did not prevent
them from spending hours together meanwhile being unable to communicate, which
resulted only partly in feelings of frustration. With hindsight it is talked about as
something that reinforced their bond. Again difficult moments turn into valuable
moments in memory.
Due to various kinds of circumstance some of the couples lived separately or were
often separated in the past. For couples that experienced such distance objects and
events that symbolized their love were usually more important, more abundantly
present and accordingly described with passion. Especially when they lived most of the
time separated by the Atlantic Ocean, the experience of the distance and separation
while trying to maintain a romantic relation appeared a source of inspiration for
romantic symbolism.
‘Every time when we said goodbye and had to be separate again for a while, I
saw how much he was going to miss me. Those moments were very romantic
to me’.
The question whether there were any objects that might have any symbolic meaning
for their relationship was for many a difficult question to answer or at least it was hard
to come up with examples. This was not the case for a Venezuelan girl that had a
relationship for over 5 years with a Dutch student; although they were only able to
spend maximum 3 months a year together, she answered:
‘Oooff, there are sooo many things…there is a sculpture of his head that his
mother made and gave me as a birthday present. We have many souvenirs
from Venezuela, but also from other countries; most of the time we are
separated by the distance but when we are together we like to travel and we
have many memories and objects that symbolize the valuable time we have
together.’
In a relationship you share many personal developments that you experience
together; from the questionnaire we learned that most Latin Americans quickly
improved their Dutch language skills. A couple of times improvements in
language skills were mentioned as a source of pride.
‘It was amazing I was upstairs and suddenly I heard her talking to the
neighbours’
‘She speaks very well Dutch and she learned it very fast, but thank god she still
has an accent, it sounds so cute hahaha.’
48
The function of relationship symbols not mentioned by Baxter, named destiny indicator,
might need some more explanation. In an intercultural relationship people tend to
emphasize differences and one becomes aware of various kinds of differences and
opposition. Yet there are sometimes little things that are interpreted by respondents as
characteristics or qualities that despite their differences in background indicate that
they fit very well together or are almost destined to be together. Such characteristics
are connected to ethnicity that makes them special for each other.
A woman mentioned:
‘I was the only one who could understand his horrible Spanish which sounded
very funny; my friends hardly bothered to listen to him since they did not
understand him. But I was the only one who could understand him, because
besides a terrible pronunciation he spoke Spanish upside down. Without me he
was rather lost in Peru but I helped him around.’
So he shuffled with the word order which is rather different in Spanish compared to
Dutch (and English by the way). For example an old car, un caro viejo would be
literally a car old.
A man told:
We always say that she is rather European for a Colombian end I am rather
Latino for a Dutchman.
In other words they both have the characteristics compared to fellow nationals that
could make their international relationship work.
I always asked questions on why they chose to live in the Netherlands? And whether
they might live abroad or in Latin America one day; and also if they had discussed or
considered this, how would they felt about it? Etcetera (see appendix B). This question
triggered some symbolic meanings in the sense that the willingness of a partner to be
prepared to live in Latin America meant a lot for some Latino respondents. Most of the
Latino respondents mentioned that they at least have the desire to return one day; the
most important aspect that prevents that from happening is that the chances of having
as much economic opportunities as in the Netherlands are rare and usually not
considered realistic. Whether the partner would be interested in moving to Latin
America was usually not of a main importance since it was more of an idea/fantasy for
the future but being prepared to do so was extremely valued:
I went to the Netherlands for two months to visit him and to see if I could live
here, it was winter and I really did not like it than he really tried to find a job and
he came to Colombia again, he could only find jobs which paid at least three
times less than he earned here. After a while I decided to give it a new try and
this time a visited in summer than I decided to come live with him. If he had not
really tried to come to Colombia I do not know if I had come again.
In the end it is important that one is willing to sacrifice something for one’s partner and
in the previous chapter we saw that by moving to the Netherlands to live with someone,
Latin Americans make a ‘sacrifice’ not always recognized as such.
49
3.0 Conclusion
For a long time, until the 1960s, Latin America received many European immigrants.
Since the 1980’s these flows have changed and Latin Americans migrate to Europe.
Since the early 20th century the USA is the main migration destination for Latin
Americans; however in the last decades migration destinations altered and Latinos also
migrate to Europe, mainly Spain and Italy. At the end of the 1970s the first group of
Latin Americans that came to live in the Netherlands consisted of political refugees
from Chile and Argentina. Often, the development of a romantic relationship with a
Dutch woman or man lies at the basis of their being in the Netherlands.
Latinos and Dutch that were part of a romantic interethnic couple were interviewed,
observed, and subjected to a questionnaire in order to be able to answer the research
questions: What factors bring Dutch and Latinos together? How do they deal with love?
And how do geographical distance, ethnicity, social environment and relations interfere
in these kinds of relationships?
Where and how Dutch and Latinos meet was an important element in understanding
these interethnic couples since relevant historic ties between the Netherlands and Latin
America are absent. Data extracted from the questionnaire showed that the large
majority of the persons in the couples had met each other in Latin America. Moreover
in the cases they met in the Netherlands, the Latino partner had in several instances a
history with another Dutch or European partner. Such characteristics generate two
conclusions: Firstly, the migration towards the Netherlands and the relationship itself
are often interdependent and secondly, integration processes or cultural adaptation in
Latino Dutch couples start predominantly at the moment two persons meet and not
before. Because of this assimilation processes within Dutch Latino interethnic romantic
relationships should be set apart from studies on intermarriage and assimilation given
that these last studies suggest that immigrant groups assimilate first and start to marry
outside ethnic boundaries afterwards. The phenomenon generated in my study could
be related to the fact that Dutch and Latinos are both part of western civilizations and
can therefore easily connect. This exemplified by some couples that were highly
educated and had a general international orientation, and consequently communicated
with each other in English.
Migration because of a partner is a specific form of migration and a modern one. Two
global migration trends of the last decades appeared to be reflected in the data
provided by the questionnaire: feminization of migration flows and diversification of
migration. Over three times as much couples consisting of a Dutch Male and a Latin
American female responded to the questionnaire, compared to Dutch females coupled
with a Latino boyfriend or husband.
This could indicate that couples of Dutch males and Latina females are more viable
and last longer. In the perspective of many respondents the latter was like likely to last
longer and less problematic. Latin Americans going to the Netherlands are themselves
examples of diversification of migration flows given that most migrants in the
Netherlands are traditionally guest workers from Turkey and Morocco or migrants from
(former) Dutch colonies. As a group Latino immigrants in the Netherlands are
heterogeneous with regard to nationality, race, occupation and education.
Dutch Latino couples meet for the most part in Latin America but what could possibly
cause them to form a union and move to the Netherlands? The decision in which
country to settle is, contrary to falling in love, a rational decision. The factors that were
50
mentioned to be decisive for one to choose the Netherlands as a place to live instead
of Latin America included economic factors, security and education.
Altogether I have mentioned three aspects that left their mark on Dutch Latino romantic
relationships: the colonial history of both cultures, the interconnectedness of the
migration and the relationship, and economic opportunities. In multiple directions these
three aspects shape the power structures in which a couple is situated and the power
structures in turn influence the environment in a manner comparable to the way Kim’s
environmental conditions shape cross-cultural adaptation (Kim 2001: 79,80).
Latino Dutch couples all deal in their own way with unequal power relations. When
residing in the Netherlands the Latino member of the couple is initially legally
dependent on his or her partner because without the partner he or she has no right to
stay for more than 3 months. The immigrant may initially depend on the partner and his
or her social environment; moreover initial language skills further reinforce dependency.
Besides the Latino partner is in many cases at first financially dependent on the partner.
In practice it can take a while before one is allowed to work after having arrived in the
Netherlands; even when allowed to work, despite an almost comparable educational
level, the job positions Latinos occupy are on average lower wage jobs compared to
the Dutch, an observation in accordance with research on immigrants in general.
Latinos in the Netherlands sometimes lead lives less independent and busy than they
had done in Latin America, which could be a result of dependency.
The fact that a partner comes over from Latin America places a relatively high pressure
on a relationship due to the major consequences a break-up can have; it could in fact
imply return migration. Even if not explicitly mentioned, the unequal power balance is
experienced, especially during complicated times which every relationship goes
through. We have seen that forming a couple functions often in practice as a means to
enter the Netherlands and as a result the Latino is often critically judged by the social
environment on his or her motives for coming to the Netherlands. In that way Dutch
Latino couples have to prove themselves to the outer world more than other couples do.
Partly due to the aforementioned mechanisms the coincidence of getting together is
often emphasized; in so doing the romantic aspects of the relationship are underlined.
Unequal power structures and the social environment’s perception of the couple are
issues at stake in the beginning of a relationship or shortly after having moved to
another country. As cross-cultural adaptation advances gradually, the power structures
change and by its durability the relationship has proven itself to most of the outside
world. Power structures become less and less determining and move to the
background until they are hardly an issue. Such transformations, and how they were
perceived by the social environment, were recalled in many accounts. These accounts
underline Kim’s (2001) theory that stresses the mutual influence of the environment
and the stranger.
My findings on the role of ethnicity and cultural traits of the members in the relationship
are based on experiences and observations, images and stereotypes alike. Dutch and
Latino are ethnic identities at stake in this research and statements followed patterns
that converged but at times statements also contradicted each other.
The role of the family was discovered to be considered very important among Latinos;
in fact it appears more important or at least very different than the role of the family
among Dutch. Many Latino respondents found it difficult to deal with the fact that large
parts of the family lived far away. A reported lack of support expressed by the partner
or family in difficult times is also closely related to the role of the family, something
which usually concurs with the most difficult part of the adaptation process as
described by Kim (2001: 63,64) .
51
In general people have a model of a Latino or Dutch person in mind; while discussing
their partners, respondents often compared him or her on several aspects with the
model. With regard to love and romance on which the research tried to focus, ethnicity
often interfered and mediated discourses on these topics. While discussing romantic
behaviour women often accused their partner of a lack of romance. These kinds of
discussions which in general would centre on gender differences where surprisingly full
of ethnicity related discourses.
In terms of communication and expressing emotions there seemed to be major
differences between Latin Americans and Dutch as they were frequently commented
on. Important remarks with regard to relationships consisted of observations by Latinos
that considered Dutch to be cold, namely that Dutch do not show emotions as
abundantly as do Latinos, especially with regard to showing care for family and loved
ones; they sometimes even implied that Dutch had no emotions at all.
Romantic behaviour is also in a certain way communicating emotions; I collected many
stories which seemed to indicate that Dutch men were in general not considered to be
romantic. To put it more specific; Dutch were considered not to be good or elaborate in
communicating emotions to their partner.
Nevertheless, Dutch were often considered caring persons; in particular with regard to
taking good care of the children especially by men. Although at first sight this
observation may seem contradictory during the research it became clear that what
individuals considered romantic complicated the term romantic because it revealed
highly divers connotations. The only clear distinction I could draw was that ‘caring’ and
‘romantic’ was experienced differently; respectively fitting the stereotypes of Dutch men
and Latinos. In the reasoning of Dutch men many Latin American women had high
expectation patterns regarding romantic behaviour primarily because they were Latinas
and not because they were women. Latino men were on the whole considered by
Latina women to be more romantic though a few Latin men denied that they were
romantic at all. Another recurrent aspect was that Latinos were considered by Dutch
and themselves alike ‘to enjoy life more and worry less’ and ‘to be free and flexible’.
Several Dutch tried hard to acquire some of those traits
In relationships people give meaning to their bond in a variety of ways, including ritual
enactments, stories and symbols. These are important mechanisms to maintain the
relationship (Baxter 1983). A story, symbol or ritual becomes a relationship symbol
when people attach value to it and connect it to their relationship. Symbols can enforce
and communicate ties; I interpreted romantic symbolism in various cases to function as
compensation. For example when romantic relationships had to be maintained from a
distance, that seemed to inspire symbolism substantially. It can be seen as a
compensation for the distance and lack of time spent together.
Special for interethnic relationship was that many relationship symbols had an ethnic
connotation. The ethnic connotation was more often related to something Latin
American than to something Dutch and could range from indigenous LP’s to a joint trip
or a marital ceremony in Peru.
In this way the absence of many Latin American cultural aspects is symbolically
captured in combination with the appreciation of a partners cultural background;
together these made up strong relationship symbols.
52
Some of the symbols I discerned did not fit Baxter’s categories. Interviewees
emphasized that they were ‘made for each other’ by symbolic accounts such as: ‘she is
rather European for a Colombian and I am kind of Latino for a Dutchmen’
In fact they ascribed ethnic traits to themselves or their partner’s personality or even
physical appearance to indicate closeness. Like we have seen in discussions on
romantic behaviour ethnic discourses are invoked; either to stress closeness or
difference.
Two persons with different cultural backgrounds decide to live together and
consequently they undergo a process of cross-cultural adaptation. I found that the most
powerful relationship symbols were in fact steps forward or better said ‘victories’ in a
cultural adaptation process. People, who at first were almost not able to communicate
due to a (sometimes complete) lack of language skills, cherished with hindsight those
moments of total miscommunication as very special ones, especially since they
managed to overcome this difficult situation. Related is the often expressed pride of
respondents as his or her partner acquired host communication competence, which
enables them to communicate at a higher level with each other. This is also very
important for communication with and within the social environment.
Many relationship symbols are related to language. Language is an aspect of ethnicity
and for many the most important form of communication, being for example the
principal driving force behind cross-cultural adaptation as theorized by Kim (2001). The
examples of ethnic relationship symbols, the importance of language and
communication within Dutch Latino couples make a strong case for the applicability of
the theory of cross-cultural adaptation in studying interethnic relations. The type of
relationship symbols and the development of skills in each other’s language showed
clearly that integration is a two-sided process.
Taking into account the small size of the Latino population in the Netherlands the
extent to which integration processes were found to be multi directional is rather
surprising. Even taking into account the shortcomings of the questionnaire it is still
remarkable that Dutch and Latinos alike improved their skills in the language of the
partner considerably. Other aspects as food consumption habits could within a short
time span shift 180 degrees after starting a romantic relationship.
The latter phenomena (developments in language competence and shifts in food habits)
are surprising if one considers integration as a calculation of environmental conditions
like group strength and host receptivity. Indications were found that interethnic
relationships stimulate multi directional integration processes. The research treated
interethnic romantic relationships as a specific setting in which cross-cultural
adaptation occurs; it might very well be among the most fertile settings in which crosscultural adaptation flourishes. Nevertheless some limits to acquiring foreign cultural
competence remain, because learning abilities are not infinite and neither is crosscultural adaptation. Especially adults’ abilities in acquiring language skills are limited.
This is a relevant issue for Dutch Latino couples as the Latinos in the research came to
the Netherlands when they were on average nearly 29 years old.
In the attempt to explain and make visible some of the mechanisms at work in Dutch
Latino romantic relationships, the extremes were highlighted because they serve as the
clearest examples. This conclusion started with an elaboration on power structures,
economic inequalities, dependency and cultural handicaps. I want to stress that the
before mentioned issues elaborated on are for a great deal temporary and not
continuously prominent. I would like to point out the duality of the beauty and struggle
contained in the act of moving from one continent to another to spend your life with a
loved one; an act which is in itself so romantic that it simultaneously raises suspicion
53
on the underlying motives of the migration. An analogous mechanism of bipartition was
found in symbolic love symbols. That shows that difficulties like communication and
integration problems became strong binding mechanisms.
54
Bibliography
Andrews, G. R. (2004). Afro-Latin America. New York, Oxford University Press.
Baxter, L. A. (1987). "Symbols of relationship identity in relationship cultures." Journal
of Social and Personal Relationships 4: 261-280.
Boshuijer, M. (2005). "Optimisme tijdens Mi Casa Tu Casa." Retrieved May 29th 2007,
from http://www.noticias.nl/achtergrond_artikel.php?id=1014.
CBS. (2007). Retrieved October 11th 2007, from
http://statline.cbs.nl/StatWeb/publication/?VW=T&DM=SLNL&PA=37325&D1=a&D2=04,136,151,214,231&D3=0&D5=0&D6=a,!0-8&HD=080603-1311&HDR=T&STB=G1,G5.
Coninx, H. (2005). "Forse groei vliegverkeer ", june 3th 2008, from http://www.cbs.nl/nlNL/menu/themas/verkeer-vervoer/publicaties/artikelen/archief/2005/2005-1685-wm.htm.
Cools, C. A. (2006). "Relational communication in Intercultural Couples." Language
and Intercultural communication 6(3 & 4): 262-274.
Droommuseum. (2007). Retrieved June 7th 2007, from
http://www.droommuseum.nl/?Vijf%26nbsp%3BEeuwen_Immigratie:Vluchtelingen_uit_
de_Koude_Oorlog.
Duan, N. and G. Claborne. "Marital Interaction in Intercultural Marriage:
An Application of Expectancy Violation Theory." Retrieved June 6th 2007, from
http://softtester.org/arabissmo/projects/grad/610.pdf.
Essed, P. and S. Trienekens (2008). "‘Who wants to feel white?’ Race, Dutch culture
and contested identities
" Ethnic and Racial Studies 31(1): 52-72.
Fraley, R. C. and P. R. Shaver (2000). "Adult Romantic Attachment: Theoretical
Developments,
Emerging Controversies, and Unanswered Questions." Review of General Psychology
4(2): 132-154.
Fuentes, C. (1992). De Spaanse Erfenis: Vijf eeuwen Spaanse overheersing, Uitgeverij
de haan.
Gao, G. (2001). "Intimacy, passion, and commitment in Chinese and US American
romantic relationships." International journal of intercultural relations 25(1): 329-342.
Gooding-Williams, R. (2001). "Comment on J.J.E. Gracia's Hispanic/Latino Identity."
Philosophy Social Criticism 27(3): 3-10.
Hall, S. (1999). "Thinking the Diaspora: home thoughts from abroad." Small Axe 6: 118.
Hirschman (1983). "America's melting pot reconsidered." Annual Review Sociology 9:
397-423.
55
Hirschman, C. (1983). "America's melting pot reconsidered." Annual Review Sociology
9: 397-423.
Jensen, L., J. H. Cohen, et al. (2006). "Ethnic Identities, Language, and
Economic Outcomes Among Dominicans
in a New Destination." Social Science Quarterly 87(5): 1087-1099.
Jitbahadoer, R. S. (2004). "Minder baat bij een hoge opleiding?
- een onderzoek naar de arbeidsparticipatie
van hogeropgeleide allochtonen -." Retrieved June 3th 2008, from
https://ep.eur.nl/scripties/bitstream/2105/3539/1/SOCscriptie019.pdf.
Kalmijn, M., A. C. Liefbroer, et al. (2006). "The Family Factor in Jewish-Gentile
Intermarriage:
A Sibling Analysis of The Netherlands." Social Forces, 84(3): 1347-1358.
Kim, Y. Y. (2001). Becoming intercultural: An integrative theory of communication and
cross-cultural adaptation. Thousand Oaks, CA, Sage.
Kim, Y. Y. (2006). "From ethnic to interethnic; the case for identity adaptation and
transformation." Journal of Language and Social Psychology 25(3): 283-300.
Laetmaer (2001). "Splitting and nostalgia in recent immigrants: psychodynamic
considerations." The Journal of the American Academy of Psychoanalysis 29(3): 427438.
Lee, S. M. and B. Edmonston (2006). "Hispanic Intermarriage, Identification,
and U.S. Latino Population Change." Social Science Quarterly 86(5): 1263-1279.
LLoyd, K. M. (2006). "Latinas’ Transition to First Marriage:
An Examination of Four Theoretical Perspectives." Journal of Marriage and Family 68:
993-1014.
Luke, C. and A. Luke (1998). "Interracial families difference within difference." Ethnic
and Racial Studies 21(4): 728-754.
Luke, C. and A. Luke (1999). "Theorizing Interracial Families and Hybrid Identity: An
Australian Perspective." Educational Theory 49(2): 223-249.
Matthews, S. H. (2005). "Crafting Qualitative Research Articles on Marriages and
Families." Journal of Marriage and Family 67: 799-808.
Milan, A. and B. Hamm (2004). "Mixed Unions." Canadian Social Trends 11(008): 2-6.
Moreira, C. F. (2001). Marital Satisfaction and Conflict in Latin-North American
Interethnic Couples in Canada. Graduate counselling Psychology Program. Langley,
Trinity Western University. Masters of Arts: 77.
Noticias. (2006). "Latino’s vinden hun weg naar Nederland." Retrieved June 1th 2008,
from http://www.noticias.nl/achtergrond_artikel.php?id=1365.
Oropesa, R. S. and N. S. Landale (2004). "The Future of Marriage and Hispanics."
Journal of Marriage and Family 66: 901-920.
56
Pellegrino, A. (2004). Migration from Latin America to Europe: Trends and Policy
Challanges, International Organisation for Migration 76.
Pellenbarg, P. H. and P. J. M. Steen Van (1999). "The Dynamics of the International
Economic and Demographic Exchange Relationships of The Netherlands " Tijdschrift
voor Economische en Sociale Geografie 90(4): 441-448.
Penninx, R. and B. Garcés-Mascareñas (2005). Policymaking related to immigration
and integration: a review of the literature of the Dutch case. Amsterdam, IMISCOE.
Qian, Z. and D. T. Lichter (2001). "Measuring Marital Assimilation: Intermarriage
among
Natives and Immigrants." Social Science Research 30: 289-312.
Reich, W. A. (2000). "Ethnic identity and interethnic dating in Portuguese young
adultus." Asian Journal of Social Psychology 3: 153-161.
Roer-Strier, D. and D. Ben Ezra (2006). "Internarriages Between Western Woman and
Palestinian men." Journal of Marriage and Family 68: 41-55.
Schaetti, B. F. (2002). "Book review: Becoming Intercultural: An integrative theory or
communication and cross-cultural adaptation." International journal of intercultural
relations 26(1): 113-117.
SCP/WODC/CBS. (2005). "jaarrapport integratie 2005." Retrieved June 3th 2008,
from http://www.cbs.nl/NR/rdonlyres/F019B5DE-15B7-4F87-9B1C878117066EE8/0/2005jaarrapportintegratiepub.pdf.
Shibazaki, K. and K. A. Brannan (1998). "When birds of different feathers flock together:
a preliminary comparison of intra-ethnic and inter-ethnic dating relationships." Journal
of Social and Personal Relationships 15(2): 248-256.
Skursky, J. (1994). "The Ambiguities of Authenticity in Latin America: Dona Barbara
and the Construction of
National Identity." Poetics Today 15(4): 605-642.
Steinbugler, A. C. (2005). "Visivility as Privilege and Danger: Heterosexual and SameSex Interracial Intimacy in the 21 st Century." Sexualities 8(4): 425-443.
Terrazas, A., J. Batalova, et al. (2007). "Frequently Requested Statistics on Immigrants
in the United States " Retrieved December 11th 2007, from
http://www.migrationinformation.org/USfocus/display.cfm?id=649#2.
Troy, B., J. Lewis-Smith, et al. (2006). "Interracial and intraracial romantic relationships:
The search for differences in satisfaction, conflict, and attachment style." Journal of
Social and Personal Relationships 23(1): 65-80.
Vogel, H. (1983). Geschiedenis van Latijns-Amerika, Het Spectrum.
57
Appendix A
6.1 Survey Question list in English
1 Surname (family name not needed)?
2 Place of Birth? (Place and Country)
3 How old are you?
4 What is your nationality (ies)?
5 Gender?
6 What’s your place of residence?
7 Since when do you live in the Netherlands?
8 What diploma’s do you have?
9 What is your profesion?
10 How many children do you have?
And how old are they?
11 From which country is your partner?
12 Are you married?
13 Do you live together?
14 How long have you been together?
15 In which country did you meet
16 ¿For what reason was you or your partner (or both) in a foreign country?
For.. work, study, holidays, other namely
17 How did you meet?
Via friends, in a bar or club, in the streets, on the internet, other namely
18 Have you had an love relation with someone with a different nationality before? If so
what nationality(ies)
19 ¿Do you have many friends from the same country as your partner?
None, Only those I know via my partner, some, many.
20 In what language do you communicate with your partner?
21 At what level do you speak the native language of your partner?
Low/medium/medium-high/high
22 At what level did you speak the native language of your partner before you met
her/him?
Low/medium/medium-high/high
23 What activities, hobbies or interests do you share?
24 What activities, hobbies or interests you never do together?
25 What do you like most about your partner?
26 Describe briefly something your partner did for you that you consider very romantic?
27 Describer briefly an incident, song, habit, nickname, film or something else that has
symbolic value for your relationship?
58
6.1.2 Enquete in het Nederlands
1 Naam (alleen voornaam)
2 Waar bent u geboren?
Plaats:
land:
3 hoe oud bent u?
4 Wat is u nationaliteit?
5 Wat is uw geslacht?
6 Wat is uw woonplaats?
7 Vanaf welke datum woont u in Nederland?
8 Wat voor opleiding(en) heeft u gevolgd?
9 Wat is uw beroep?
10 hoeveel kinderen heeft u?
hoe oud zijn ze?
11 Uit welk land komt u Partner?
12 Bent u getrouwd?
13 Woont u samen met uw partner? Zo ja, Sinds wanneer?
14 Hoe lang bent u samen?
15 In welk land heeft u uw partner ontmoet?
16 Waarom was u, of u partner, (of beiden) in het buitenland toen u elkaar ontmoette?
Omcirkel wat van toepassing is
Werk, studie, vakantie, anders namelijk?
17 Hoe heeft u elkaar ontmoet?
Via kennisen, in een disco/bar club, op straat, via internet, anders?
18 Heeft u eerder een liefdesrelatie(s) gehad met iemand van een andere nationaliteit?
Zo ja, welke nationaliteit(en)?
19 Heeft u veel vrienden en of kennisen uit hetzelfde land als uw partner?
20 Welke taal spreekt u met uw partner?
21 Hoe spreekt u de taal van uw partner?
Nauwelijks/een beetje/redelijk/goed/vloeiend.
22 Hoe Sprak u de taal van uw partner voordat u die ontmoette?
Nauwelijks/een beetje/redelijk/goed/vloeiend
23 Wat vind je het leukste aan je partner?
24 Beschrijf kort iets wat je partner voor gedaan heeft dat je erg romantisch vond?
25 Wat zijn gemeenschappelijke activiteiten en/of interesses die jullie samen doen?
26 Wat zijn activiteiten/interesses die jullie nooit samen doen?
27 Beschrijf kort een gebeurtenis, liedje, gewoonte, bijnaam, film of iets anders dat
symbolische waarde heeft voor jullie relatie?
59
6.1.3 Cuestionario Español
1 ¿Nombre (no necesito appellido)
2 ¿Lugar de nacimiento? localidad:
País:
3 ¿Cuantos años tiene usted?
4 ¿Cual es su nacionalidad?
5 ¿Sexo?
6 ¿Lugar de residencia?
7 ¿Desde cuando vive usted en Holanda?
8 ¿Que diplomas tiene usted?
9 ¿Cual es su profesion?
10 ¿Cuantos Niños tiene usted?
Cuantos años tienen?
11 ¿De que país es tu pareja?
12 ¿Estan casado?
13 ¿Viven juntos? Desde Cuando viven juntos?
14 ¿Desde cuando se conocen?
15 ¿En que país y ciudad se conocieron
16 ¿Por que razón estabas tu o tu pareja ( o ambos) en el estranjero cuando conocieron?
Por.. el trabajo, estudios, vacaciones, otro
17 Como se conocieron?
A traves de amigos, en una discoteca, en la calle, por internet, otro
18 Ha tenido anteriormente pareja de otra nacionalidad?
Que nacionalidades?
19 Tiene amigos del país de origen de su pareja?
20 En que idioma comunica usted con su pareja?
21 Cual es su dominio del idioma de su pareja
nada/poquito/medio/medio-alto/alto
22 Cual era su dominio del idioma de pareja antes de conocerla
nada/poquito/medio/medio-alto/alto
23 Qúe te gusta más de su pareja?
24 Describe Brevemente algo que su pareja haya hecho por usted que considera
romantico
25 Que actividades comunes o hobbies comparten?
26 Que actividades o hobbies no realizan nunca juntos
27 Describe brevemente una ancedota, canción, costumbre, apodo, pelicula o cualquier
otra cosa que tenga valor simbólico en la relación de ustedes.
60
Appendix B
6.2.1 Question List memo for in depth interviews English
Day to Day business
What kind of things you regularly eat?
Has your eating pattern changed over the years?, how come? How do you feel about
that?
Are there any hobbies or sports you practice, has that always been your hobby? Do you
share this with your partner?
What kind of music do you listen to?
Does music mean anything to you?
Which household task do you do? How are these tasks divided? Has this changed over
time?
is there an object or something that is important for both of you? Why?
If you fight or have arguments, what is the fight usually about?
Romance
How did you meet? Where was that? What was it like? What did you like about your
partner at first sight? What makes you proud about your partner? Did you fell in love
inmediately or did it took a while?
Is there an event of special history that meant a lot to you together? Explain to me
please?
What moments do you recall often?
What is a special song that you share together, could you explain why that would be?
Do you ever use nicknames for each other? Which?
What do you consider to be romantic? Could you name some romantic things you have
done for your partner? Are there differences in what you guys consider romantic?
What does your partner consider to be romantic? How does your partner perceive
himself considering romance?
How do you show your partner you care about him/her? Could you give a concrete
example?
Which characteristics about your patner do you dislike?
What does love means to you?
When people start living together they form a new union; in a way you also give up
some part of yourself. How do/did you feel about that? What did you lose??
Family and social environment
What were the first responses of your family and friends with regard to your foreign
partner?
Did your social surroundings produce any negative attitudes towards your relationship?
How did your family responded when you decided to go live together (and abroad in
some cases)
Have you been to the birthcountry or –(town of your partner)
Have you visited family of your partner’s, what was that visit like? How was it?
What made you go live in the Netherlands and not In Latin America or somewhere else?
Have you discussed where you will live the rest of your lives? Is this been a point
discussion? How and where do you imagine your live in 10 years?
61
What kind of nationalitie does your circle of friends consist? Is there a reason for this
particular set of nationlaliteis?
The friends of your partner, what are they like?
Do you have kids?
Do they visit Grandma and Gradpa? What is that like?
How is contact with the familiy in law
Culture
Do you sometimes have misunderstandings due to cultural differences, coud you give
examples
Did you became (more) aware of your ethnicity after having a romantic affair with a
foreigner
If you (would) have kids what would their culture be like?
In which language(s) do you communicate with your partner? and with your kids? with
the rest of society?
Do you ever have miscommunications?
Why would that be?
Are you religious? And your partner? Are your religions comparable? Do you ever go to
church? Why (not)?
Do you share interests, hobbys or activitivies?
Did you change by living with your partner? In what aspects?
Do you see yourself differently than in the past?
Which habits did you take over from your partner? When did you realize that? Which
habits do you try to avoid to copy?
Would it be very different when your partner would be from the same culture as you?
Would it be easier to live with a partner from certain cultures than others, which ones?
Do You believe Latin Americans and Dutch get along easily?
What particular things make je remind your homecountry(partners country)?
What makes you think about the Netherlands
What do you like about Dutch?
What do you not like about Dutch?
What do you like about Latinos?
What do you not like about Latinos?
62
6.2.2 vragenlijst/memo voor kwalitatieve interviews nederlands
Alledaagse dingen
Wat eten jullie vaak?
Wat zijn dingen die je graag eet, hoe komt dat, is dat veranderd in de loop der jaren?
Wat voor hobbies of sport beoefent u? heeft u dat altijd gedaan?
Wat voor muziek luister je? Heb je altijd van die muziek gehouden? Wat betekent
muziek voor jouw? Deel je dit met je partner, (kan dat)
Welke taken in het huishouden doe je meestal? Hoe is de taakverdeling in het
huishouden? Ben je dat gewend, of is dit in de loop van de relatie veranderd
Is er iets in huis dat veel betekenis heeft voor jullie allebei?
Als jullie ruzie hebben; waar gaat het dan over?
Romantiek
Hoe hebben jullie elkaar ontmoet? Waar hebben jullie elkaar ontmoet? Hoe was dat, de
eerste keer dat jullie elkaar ontmoette, Wat vond je leuk aan je partner? Welke
eigenschappen ben je trots op?
Was je meteen verliefd, of duurde het even?
Is er een (of meerdere) gebeurtenis die een speciale betekenis heeft voor jullie?Welke?
Aan welke momenten denk je vaak terug?
Is er een muziekje, liedje die een speciale betekenis heeft voor jullie relatie? Zo ja, Kan
je dat uitleggen? Of iets anders (een foto,schilderij, film)
Gebruik je weleens bijnamen (koosnaam) voor je partner?
Wat vind jij romantisch? Wat voor romantische dingen heb jij voor je partner voor je
gedaan?
Zijn er verschillen in wat jullie romantisch vinden?
Vind jij je partner romantisch? Wat denk je dat je partner van zichzelf vind op
romantisch gebied?
Hoe laat jij aan je partner zien dat je hem leuk vind? Kan je een concreet voorbeeld
noemen?
Welke eigenschappen van uw partner vind u minder leuk?
Wat betekent de liefde voor jouw?
In een relatie vorm je een nieuw geheel dat is aan de ene kant mooi, maar aan de andere
kant verlies je ook iets van jezelf soms, hoe voel jij dat?
Familie en sociale omgeving
Wat waren in het begin de reacties vanuit familie en vriendenkring en schoonfamilie op
je huidige vriend? Hoe is dat nu
Krijgt u wel eens negatieve/positieve reacties van uw omgeving op het feit dat jullie
samen zijn?
Hoe reageerde uw familie toen u samen ging wonen, (in een ander land) met iemand
met een andere nationaliteit/Cultuur
Zijn jullie samen in geboorteland (partner) geweest? Zijn jullie toen ook bij familie op
bezoek geweest? Hoe was dat?
Waarom zijn jullie in Nederland gaan wonen? en niet in Latijns Amerika?
63
Waar zijn jullie van plan de rest van je leven te wonen? Is dit een punt van discussie?
Hoe ziet je leven er over 10 jaar uit?
Uit wat voor nationaliteiten/soort mensen bestaat je vriendenkring? Hoe komt dit denk
je?
Y los amigos de tu pareja como son?
Heeft u kinderen?
Gaan jullie wel eens naar opa en oma, hoe gaat dat dan?
Hoe is het contact met de schoonfamilie?
Cultuur
Ontstaan er wel eens misverstanden door culturele verschillen?
Werd je je bewust van je eigen ethniciteit juist doordat je een relatie had met een
buitenlander?
Als u kinderen heeft, wat zal hun cultuur zijn??
In welke taal communiceren jullie met elkaar (met de kinderen)?
Zijn er wel eens communicatie problemen?
Hoe komt dat?
Heeft u partner een vergelijkbaar geloof,
Doen jullie samen activiteiten om geloof te belijden? Gaat u wel eens naar de kerk?
Hebben jullie gemeenschappelijke hobbies/interesse/activiteiten?
Hoe heeft het jouw veranderd om samen te leven met je partner?
Op welk gebied? Zie je jezelf op een andere manier als vroeger?
Welke gewoontes heb je overgenomen van je partner? Wanneer besefte je dat?
Welke gewoontes zou je (niet) willen overnemen
Zou het heel anders zijn om een partner uit uw ‘eigen cultuur’ te hebben
Zouden andere culturen makkelijker samen gaan, of juist niet?
Denk je dat latijns amerikanen en nederlanders makkelijk met elkaar omgaan?
Wat voor dingen doen je denken aan land van herkomst/land van partner?
Welke dingen doen je denken aan Nederland?
Wat vind je leuk aan Nederlanders/ de Nederlandse Cultuur?
Wat vind je minder leuk aan Nederlanders/ de Nederlandse Cultuur?
Wat vind je leuk aan Latinos/ Latijns Amerikaanse Cultuur?
Wat vind je minder leuk aan Latinos/ Latijns Amerikaanse Cultuur?
64
6.2.3 Lista de preguntas/memo para los entrevistas Español
Cosas cotidianas
¿Que tipo de comida comen?
¿Que es lo que les gusta comer a usted y a su pareja?, por qué? Han cambiado sus
gustos por la comida en los últimos años?
¿Que deportes o hobbys practica?
Siempre los ha practicado?
¿Que tipo de música le gusta? siempre le ha gustado ese tipo de música? que significa
la música para usted? Comparte eso (puede) con su pareja?
¿Que tipo de tareas domésticas realiza habitualmente? ¿Como dividen las tareas
domesticas? Esta usted acustumbrado hacerlo así?
Hay algo en la casa que tiene mucha significación para tu y tu pareja?
Romanticismo
Como se conocieron? En donde?
Como fue la primera vez cuando se encontraron, que pensaste de el/ella?
Que le gustó de su pareja?, Que cualidades de su pareja le hacen sentir orgullo?
Estabas enamorado enseguida?
Hay alguna (o varias) situaciones que tengan un significado especial vara ustedes?
Cuales?
Hay ciertos momentos o eventos compartidos a los que piensa a menudo?
Hay una canción o un momento especial que tenga un significado especial en su
relación? En caso afirmativo, lo puede explicar o nombrar (foto, pintura, película)
Utiliza de vez en cuando apodos cariñosos con su pareja?
Que considera romántico?. Que cosas románticas ha hecho por su pareja?. Hay
diferencias en lo que usted y su pareja consideran “romántico”?
Que considera que su pareja como romántico? Como cree que se ve su pareja en lo que
concierne al romanticismo?
Como le demuestra a su pareja que le gusta? Puede nombrar un ejemplo concreto?
Que cualidades de su pareja le gustan menos?
Que significa el amor para ti/usted?
En una relación se forma una nueva unión en mucho aspectos eso puede ser muy
romántico por otra parte uno pierde tambien algo, como ha sido para ti?
familia y contactos sociales
Que opinaba su familia y sus amigos y la familia de su pareja en principio de su pareja
actual? y como es ahora?
Recibe reacciones positivas/ negativas de su entorno sobre el hecho de que vivan juntos?
Cual fue la reacción de su familia cuando se fue a vivir (a otro país) con alguien de otra
nacionalidad/ cultura?
Han ido juntos a Latino America? Visitaron familia tambien? Come fue?
Como le recibieron la familia?
Porque viven en Holanda y no en Suramérica
65
Donde creen que van a vivir el resto de su vida? Es este un punto de discusión? Como
imaginas/piesas que es tu vida en 10 años?
De Que nacionalidades consiste tus círculo de amigos? Por que es asi piensas?
Y los amigos de su pareja? Como son?
Tiene hijos?
Visitan los abuelos, come es?
Como es el contact con de schoonfamilie?
Cultura
Han tenido alguna vez problemas para entenderse debidos a diferencias culturales?
Por tener pareja de otra etnicidad le hacia estar mas conciente de tu propia etnicidad?
Puedes dar ejemplos.
Si tienen niños que cultura les enseñan / enseñaran?, en que idioma se
comunican/comunicaran con ellos?
Han tenido alguna vez problemas de comunicación?. Por qué?
Tiene su pareja una religión parecida a la suya?
Hacen juntos actividades para practicar la religión? Va a la iglesia?
Tienen, hobbys u otras actividades comunes?
Cree que el vivir con una persona le ha cambiado?. Si es así de que forma?
Ves a ti mismo diferente que antes?
Que costumbres has adquirido a través de su pareja? Cuales (no) le gustaría adquirir?
Cuando diste cuenta?
Cree que seria diferente si su pareja fuera de su cultura?En que sentido cree que seria
diferente?
Cree que culturas diferentes funcionan mejor, o cree que precisamente no funcionan
mejor? Piensas que Los holandeses y los Latinos conviven facilmente juntos?
Que cosas le recuerdan al país de origen de su pareja?
Que cosas le recuerdan a Holanda?
Que le gusta de los holandeses y/o de la cultura holandesa?
Que le gusta menos de los holandeses y/o de la cultura holandesa?
Que le gusta de los latinoamericanos y/ o de la cultura latinoamericana?
Que le gusta menos de los latinos o de la cultura latinoamericana?
Cuales son las asociaciones positivas y cuales las negativas que tienen con sus
respectivas culturas/ tradiciones?
66
Appendix C
6.3.1 Uitleg online onderzoek voor benadering mensen in het
Nederlands
Beste Meneer/Mevrouw,
Via een vriend of kennis ben ik bij u terecht gekomen, wellicht kunt u mij helpen met
mijn onderzoek naar gemengde koppels.
Mijn naam is Stijn Geljon,
Ik ben 26 jaar oud en doe een Master
Migration and Ethnic Studies, aan de
UvA.
Voor mijn scriptie doe ik onderzoek naar
gemengde liefdesrelaties bestaande uit
Nederlanders en Latijns-Amerikanen in
Nederland.
Ik heb een enquête samengesteld, waarmee ik meer te weten kan komen over
interetnische relaties. U zou mij ontzettend helpen met mijn onderzoek als u de enquête
invult. Invullen duurt ca 10 min.
Als u op de onderstaande link klikt verschijnt de enquête.
http://www.thesistools.com/?qid=28300&ln=ned
Alle informatie wordt vertrouwelijk behandeld en zal niet aan derden verstrekt worden.
Mocht u nog een (of meer) samenwonende Latijns Amerkaans-Nederlandse koppels
kennen dan zou ik het zeer op prijs stellen als u deze e-mail doorstuurt naar deze
personen, of me zou willen vertellen hoe ik in contact kan komen met deze personen.
Als u vragen heeft kunt u me altijd mailen,
Alvast ontzettend bedankt.
Vriendelijke Groeten,
Stijn Geljon
Universiteit van Amsterdam
[email protected]
67
6.3.2 Expication y introducion del cuestionario en Español
Estimado señor/señora,
Un amigo/a de usted me proporcionó su dirección pensando que quizás usted podría
ayudarme con mi investigación para la tesis de final de carrera
Soy Stijn Geljon,
Tengo 26 años y estoy haciendo un
master que se llama Migration and
Ethnic Studies (estudios migratorios
y étnicos) en la Universidad de
Amsterdam (UvA).
Para la tesis de final de carrera, estoy
realizando una investigación sobre las
parejas latino-holandeses viviendo en
Holanda.
He realizado un cuestionario que me ayuda a obtener información sobre las parejas
latino-holandeses. Usted me ayudaría muchísimo si quisiera rellenar este cuestionario.
No le llevará más de diez minutos.
Si hace clic en el siguiente link, aparecerá el cuestionario.
http://www.thesistools.com/?qid=30107&ln=esp
La información será tratada de forma totalmente confidencial y bajo ninguna
circunstancia se proporcionará a terceros.
Si conoce otras parejas de latino-holandeses, le agradecería muchísimo si les pudiera
enviar este correo electrónico o explicarme como puedo contactar con ellos.
Si tienen cualquier pregunta o duda, por favor, no dude en enviarme un mensaje
Muchísimas gracias por su cooperación
Saludos cordiales
Stijn Geljon
Universiteit van Amsterdam
[email protected]
68