Extraordinary Case Appears at Wabash

BACHELOR
the
the student voice of Wabash since 1908
February 9, 2006 • Volume 119 • Issue 4 • 765-361-6213 • bachelor.wabash.edu • [email protected]
Extraordinary Case
Appears at Wabash
HOWARD HEWITT
Judges Patricia Riley, James Kirsch, and Margaret Robb come out frombehind the panel to talk
with students, faculty, and guests.
Royce V. Gregerson
stuff editor
Big personalities, arrogant
judges, self-serving lawyers,
and greedy clients – all of
these form the American legal
system as portrayed in popular
media. About 25 Wabash students experienced a very different legal system, however,
when the Indiana Court of
Appeals heard oral arguments
on campus. Those in attendance even witnessed what
Chief Judge James S. Kirsch
described as “rather extraordi-
nary.”
The oral arguments, held in
the Goodrich Room of the
Lilly Library last Thursday,
involved the application of
Indiana’s Habitual Offender
Law in Puckett vs. State. The
defendant is currently in
prison serving a sentence
enhanced by the law. However, the defense argued that the
defendant should not have
been eligible for the habitual
offender sentence enhancement. Surprisingly, the state
agreed.
“The oral arguments bring
cases to life,” said Kirsch,
whose son Adam is a member
of the class of 2007. “They
give us an opportunity to
resolve the questions we may
have that aren’t answered in
the briefs and other research.”
Is his opening remarks, the
Attorney General’s lawyer
stated that his office is
“responsible for seeing justice
is done.” This framed the rest
of the hearing in terms of correctly applying Indiana law.
Judges Kirsch, Patricia Riley,
See Court, Page 2
Webmail Suggestions
Jeremy Sexton
[email protected]
Have you been noticing
problems with the performance
of your email in the past few
weeks? If so, here are some
potential issues that maybe the
root of the problem, and some
suggestions to enhance your email’s performance.
The number-one hindrance
of optimal email performance
is the number of messages of
your inbox. If you have more
than a hundred messages in
your inbox chances are that not
only are you impairing your
personal email performance
but also the performance of
other’s email across campus.
Cleaning out your inbox is
one of the best ways to
enhance your email’s performance. However, merely deleting the amount of messages in
your inbox will not get the job
done. It is extremely important that you purge your trash
folder after deleting any messages. Otherwise, according to
Director of Information Technology Brad Weaver, the message will remain in your email
account and hinder the College’s server performance.
You can help improve the
overall system efficiency by
using the mass mailing lists
(!everyone, !students, !staff, etc.)
sparingly. Here
are some suggestions: Send only
one
or
two
announcements
about a campus
event. Ask someone to proofread
your messages
before sending to
make sure all
important information is disclosed in your
message. Use the
smallest list possible to reach
your
intended
audience. Use the classified
ad
system
(www.wabash.edu/classifieds)
for lost and found or “for sale”
announcements.
E-mail use is typically most
frequent during 8:00 a.m.8:30 a.m. Monday through Fridays (particularly Mondays),
9:50a.m.- 10:20a.m. Monday,
Wednesday, and Friday, and
1:00 p.m.-1: 30 p.m. Monday
and Friday. So expect slower
operating speeds during those
times.
“Providing excellent email
service to the Wabash community is a priority for our department.” Weaver said. “We are
spending substantial time and
energy to improve the system.
Aside from working with oncampus experts, we are also
working with two outside consulting firms on the issue.
“The most significant problem we face at the moment is
that by dramatically increasing
the student, faculty, and staff
mailbox quota last summer,
campus users have been able to
allow their mail boxes to grow
unchecked.”
Just remember the status of
your mailbox not only affects
your own personal e-mail
account but also the reliability
and speed of every e-mail
account on campus.
The number-one hindrance
of optimal email performance is the number of messages of your inbox. If you
have more than a hundred
messages in your inbox
chances are that not only
are you impairing your personal email performance
but also the performance of
other’s email across campus.
NEWS
PAGE 2 • THE BACHELOR
the student voice of Wabash
since 1908
The purpose of The Bachelor is to serve the
school audience, including but not limited to
administrators, faculty and staff, parents, alumni, community members and most importantly,
the students. Because this is a school paper, the
content and character within will cater to the student body’s interests, ideas and issues. Further,
this publication will serve as a medium and
forum for student opinions and ideas.
Although an individual newspaper, the
Board of Publications publishes The Bachelor.
The Bachelor and BOP receive funding from the
Wabash College Student Senate, which derives
its funds from the Wabash College student body.
Letters (e-mails) to the editor are welcomed
and encouraged. They will only be published if
they include name, phone, or e-mail, and are not
longer than 350 words. The Bachelor reserves
the right to edit letters for content, typographical
errors, and length. All letters received become
property of this publication for the purposes of
reprinting and/or redistribution.
Profanity may appear in the publication, but
only in cases of direct quote or if profanity is
necessary to the content of the story. Please do
not confuse profanity with obscenity. No article
or picture of an obscene nature will appear in
this publication.
The Bachelor is printed every Thursday at
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at half the listed rate.
The Bachelor is a member of the Hoosier
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(HSPA and ICPA).
editor in chief
Nelson Barre
[email protected]
managing editor
Timothy Flowers
[email protected]
news editor
Ashley Stephen
[email protected]
opinion editor
Adam Hawkins
[email protected]
White to Make First Appearance
Royce V. Gregerson
stuff editor
Today marks the first time
that Dr. Pat White will set foot
on the Wabash College campus
as President-elect. White, who
the Board of Trustees selected
as the 15th President of Wabash
College on January 28, will
succeed Andy Ford on July 1.
White’s visit to campus comes
on the eve of the beginning of
the search for a new Dean of
the College.
Court
From Page 1
and Margaret Robb asked
many questions of both
lawyers, attempting to ascertain the best action to correct
the misapplication of the
habitual offender law.
Following the hearing, the
judges fielded questions from
students and faculty members
present, but could not answer
questions on the hearing. The
judges also described their
Nick Leon
stuff editor
Royce Gregerson
[email protected]
“Read between the lines”.
This was the phrase that Judge
Daniel Pratt Baldwin told the
first contestants of the Baldwin
Oratorical on April 24, 1873.
“By this he meant that life is
not merely a process of acquiring and storing knowledge, but
that it is also an interpretive
and creative endeavor,” Professor Timmerman said.
It is time once again to
allow students to “read
between the lines” in the 132nd
Baldwin Oratorical Contest.
Students will be given the
opportunity to display their
skills as orators.
Judge Baldwin, who was a
long-time trustee of the college, endowed an award to be
given each year to three stu-
layout
Nelson Barre, Aaron Parrish,
Steve Crockett
copy editor
Ashley Stephen, Royce Gregerson
BOP advisors
Howard Hewitt, Jim Amidon &
Steve Charles
The Bachelor
301 W. Wabash Ave.
Crawfordsville, IN 47933
© Wabash College 2003 - 2004
“Students will get to see Dr.
White, but this is an informal
stop for him on his way to the
Dean of the College interviews
in Indianapolis,” said Jim Amidon, Director of Public Affairs
and Marketing. White will likely attend Chapel, but since the
visit is purely informal, no
meetings, lunches, or similar
venues are set for students to
meet White.
“I am really looking forward
to meeting students of
Wabash,” White said last week.
“However, I am not totally sure
when such opportunities will
be available, but it is something
I very much look forward to.”
White is also set to meet
with members of the Crawfordsville and Montgomery
County press, along with
reporters from Wabash student
publications. The visit will
likely mark the anticipation and
excitement the campus that can
be felt on campus regarding the
College’s immediate future.
own experiences with the legal
system and explained how
they came to the Indiana Court
of Appeals. Kirsch described
the importance of holding the
hearings at Wabash. “We really see it as an outreach and an
education, as an opportunity
for people who otherwise
wouldn’t get to see the process
to see it up close and personal,” he said.
“This was my first experience seeing a court hearing,”
said Jay Horrey ’09. “It was a
great first-hand learning experience.”
A legal debate class taught
by Professor Allwyn Tellis
attended the hearing. The
class had originally planned to
argue the case in class, but the
state’s admission of wrongdoing called the activity into
question.
Justin Liedel ’09, a member
of the class, said, “It was great
to see it done by professionals.
It was rather different than I
expected it to be.”
Kirsch also commented on
the reaction students typically
have to the hearings, which the
court holds across the state.
“Typically it depends on the
teachers and the amount of
ST. MARY’S COLLEGE
Dr. Patrick White
work they have done in preparing the students,” he said.
Those in attendance were well
prepared, concerned, and
observant, based on their questions and reactions to the hearing.
The Court of Appeals has
held hearings at Wabash several times before. The Court
planned a hearing last year, but
a cancellation forced the Court
to simply hold a question and
answer session.
Howard Hewitt, Director of
New Media, contributed to this
story.
Speak Between the Lines
sports editor
Aaron Parrish
[email protected]
photo editor
Steve Crockett
[email protected]
FEBRUARY 9, 2006
[email protected]
dents who best exemplify the
qualities of a good orator. Professor Timmerman described
this as “students who compose
and pronounce the best oration”.
The contest this year has an
important significance different from past years. The topic
is “Dear Mr. President…”
which gives the contestants the
opportunity to give advice to
our incoming president, Dr.
Patrick White.
“This is a special year for us
as a college and we are happy
to have the Baldwin Oratorical
play a role,” Professor Timmerman said. The contest
could turn out to be a great
introduction to the college for
White. However, it will be the
job of the contestant to present
his views in the best way possible.
The contest this year
has an important significance different
from past years. The
topic is “Dear Mr.
President…” which
gives the contestants
the opportunity to
give advice to our
incoming president,
Dr. Patrick White.
The contest will began
Monday February 13th with
preliminary rounds that will
be judged by the Rhetoric
Faculty, these will continue
on Tuesday. The finals will
we held on Thursday of that
week at 8:00PM and will be
judged by a select panel of
judges. All of the finalists
are going to receive a bound
copy of the complete works
of Shakespeare and cash
prizes.
The Baldwin Oratorical
Contest is the longest continuous running speaking
contest west of the Alleghenies. This contest has been
an important part of Wabash
since 1873. It is a great
contest of speech creating a
beautiful setting for any student to voice his opinions and
ideas. The contest should be
very entertaining and bring to
light some important issues
between students and the president of Wabash.
FEBRUARY 9, 2006
NEWS
THE BACHELOR • PAGE 3
This Week in Wabash History
Greer Speaks Out on Feminism
January 23, 1976
Germaine Greer, feminism’s revolutionary standard-bearer and tart-tongued author of “The
Female Eunuch,” will speak Tuesday (Jan. 27) at 8 p.m. in the Humanities Center Auditorium. Her
lecture, “Feminism and Fertility,” is free and open to the public.
She fills a vacancy in the Wabash College Lecture Series created by Shana Alexander’s cancellation to cover the Patty Heart trial for CBS television.
The controversial Ms. Greer is not the first feminist to speak at the all-male liberal arts college,
but she may enjoy better response than the “rowdy reaction” Gloria Steinem evoked in an earlier
appearance. Ms. Greer’s “Female Eunuch” was acclaimed by men as well as women, because she
attacked what she considered non-productive tactics embraced by some segments of the women’s
liberation movement.
“Sick of peering at the world through false eyelashes,” the Australia-born professor and British
television personality rose to fame in the feminist movement with the 1970 publication of “The
Female Eunuch.” Ms. Greer argues that society foists on women a passive, insipid and “feminine”
role that they must renounce to regain their sexuality. She advocates a revolutionary change of
spirit for women, instead of rebellion.
Solidarity of “COMPS”
Hailed by Newsweek as “women’s lib’s most realistic – and least anti-male – manifesto, Ms.
Greer’s ‘Female Eunuch’ topped best-seller lists in Great Britain and hovered near the top of lists
in the United States before being translated into 12 other languages.”
Montgomery County Red
Cross
http://chapters.redcross.org/
in/montgomery
Information on Health & Safety
Classes
OPINION
PAGE 4 • THE BACHELOR
FEBRUARY 9, 2006
THE BACHELOR’S OPINION
the voice of Wabash since 1908
Nelson Barre
editor in chief
Royce Gregerson
stuff editor
Tim Flowers
managing editor
EDITORIALS
Ashley Stephen
news editor
Adam Hawkins
opinion editor
Aaron Parrish
sports editor
Too Important for Words
With the celebration of student research completed, Andreas Klein
happily flying far away from Indiana, and the lull of middle semester
approaching, we here at the Bachelor have found a dearth of campusrelated topics to discuss. We could dive back into the co-ed debate, the
pseudo independent-fraternity battling ensuing in our opinion section, or
even the classical liberal vs. conservative tango. Instead, we’ve decided
to stop deafening your ears and blinding your eyes with bureaucratic
white noise.
Instead, we’ve decided to cover one really tough question that’s been
plaguing our late night layouts, where our combined intellects force us
to tackle those issues meaningful to society, in particular one issue that
might dictate the future trajectory of our generation.
The quintessential question is: whom would you rather have by your
side, Lando Calrissian or Han Solo?
On the basis of their past, it seems Han Solo is the obvious choice.
Aside from shooting a bounty hunter underneath a bar-table in the Mos
Eisley spaceport, it is widely known that Solo completed the Kessel Run
in under 12 parsecs and he enabled the Death Star’s destruction twice,
essentially saving the entire universe. Lando Calrissian, on the other
hand, sold out his friend and his people (Cloud City) based on threats
from the Empire, is a greedy capitalistic pig, and is a minor character in
the movie and therefore expendable. Han Solo, as a major character in a
film about the ultimate triumph of good over evil, cannot be killed.
With such strong evidence against Calrissian, on a closer analysis we
found that he does redeem himself somewhat after helping the Empire
encase Han Solo in frozen carbonite. At the end of The Empire Strikes
Back, Lando is the one who carries Leia and Luke to safety within Solo’s
Millennium Falcon. Aside from providing the rebels with valuable information against the Empire, Calrissian was the one who flew into the
“incomplete” Death Star to destroy its core (only after Han Solo had
heroically taken the shields down, of course).
However, the score in saving the universe still remains Calrissian – 1,
Solo – 2. In addition, by drawing Solo and Leia into Vader’s emotional
trap, Calrissian inadvertently drew Luke Skywalker to Cloud City and
thus almost caused the death of the free universe by allowing the Sith to
finally triumph.
When it comes down to the basics, however, it’s impossible to deny
that Calrissian is a “red-shirt,” a minor character. Thus, back to the original question, if one were to enter into a science fiction fight with both
Lando and Han, the rogue space-pirate and best-friend to Chewie would
walk away unharmed, while the self-interested and greedy bureaucrat
may be done away with for plot purposes, or to stir emotion in the audience without breaking their hearts.
On this fact alone rests Han Solo’s superiority, his prominent place in
the original screenplay. Perhaps their pasts are arguable, and we certainly haven’t considered the superfluous wealth of secondary (outside of the
movies) sources on the subject. Nevertheless, perhaps this could provide
a beginning to the debate in your own living units.
As you can see, we here at the Bachelor are concerned with the things
that matter, the issues that hold the global community on the edge of their
seats awaiting more. With our Wabash education we revel in probing
these tough issues with all the jolly abandon of an alcoholic in a brewery. So, enjoy this week’s editorial. With all the exciting things happening on campus this week, more debates like these are in the making.
Change or Perish
Tanner Kinkead
[email protected]
In
reading
Harrison
Harbin’s article, “Ineffective
Student Senate Strikes Again,”
which appeared in last week’s
edition of the Bachelor, I felt a
response was needed.
I do not criticize Mr. Harbin
for defending the IFC. I am,
admittedly, an independent,
and therefore have very little
to do with the IFC. But I do
have my own club that I also
believe was slighted in budget
distribution, and can sympathize.
I do, however, disagree on a
few matters.
Firstly, Mr.
Harbin mentions that the IFC
“represents the largest club on
campus, collecting dues from
approximately 60% of Wabash
students.” I will not quibble
with Mr. Harbin on his use of
the world ‘club’ to describe all
fraternity members, but I imagine he means something more
like ‘group’ or ‘constituency’.
Mr. Harbin undermines his
own argument here. The IFC
is perhaps one of the only
clubs on campus that, in his
words, ‘collect[s] dues.’ The
IMA, with which Mr. Harbin
compares the IFC, does not.
Both the IFC and the individ-
ual fraternities have some
money to spend, which the
IMA does not.
But this is not my real point.
What I really want to argue
with is Mr. Harbin’s characterization of the Greek/independent ratio as “frighteningly
nearing the 50/50 mark.”
Frankly, I fail to see what is so
frightening about this. Are we
to be frightened? The only
thing here that scares me is the
possibility of an independent
housing crunch like we had
three years ago. However, I
am not frightened that some of
our students are making different lifestyle choices than they
used to.
What is Mr. Harbin’s solution to this state of affairs?
Banners, of course! Banners
will improve rush turnout. I
tell you, Mr. Harbin, if you
attract more men to your fraternity simply because your
Greek letters are written larger
than they otherwise would
have been, you ought to worry
about the quality of men you
are bringing in.
The real solution to the
decline in fraternities is that
fraternities must change to survive. The Greek/independent
ratio is leveling out because
Greek life is no longer as
attractive as it once was.
If my experience tells me
anything, it is that rush goes
reasonably well. It is pledgeship where everything goes
wrong. I remember one night
last year when two-thirds of
the Theta Delt pledge class
moved into my floor on Martindale. Fraternities do get
Wabash freshmen, but many of
them turn away from you
because they find that the benefits do not outweigh the costs.
Fraternities cannot simply
be. They must offer their residents something, something
that most Wabash students will
think worth the disadvantages
of fraternity life. Fraternities
should counter the need for
pledge activities with activities
that are enjoyable and worthwhile, like attending concerts
and art exhibits.
Fraternities should counter
their rigid social structures by
encouraging their members to
take an active part in campus
life while still keeping their
own uniqueness. Fraternities
must do something to convince
students that they are worthwhile and relevant, and not
merely dwindling legacies.
Fraternities mush change or
perish. Banners will not help a
whit.
OPINION
FEBRUARY 9, 2006
THE BACHELOR • PAGE 5
Not Second “Independent Rush”?
Class Citizens
Aaron Parrish
sports editor
I’m not one who gets riled up
easily. In fact, this is my first
foray into the opinion pages.
There are times when one just
cannot stand idly by. According
to Harrison Harbin, I write to
you today as a second-class citizen here at Wabash. I am an
independent. I hope that this
“fact” doesn’t turn you away
from reading what I have to say.
Harbin wrote complaining
about the Student Senate and the
budgeting process. My intention
is not to address that facet of the
article. I don’t have the budget
right in front of me, and to be
honest, I’m not even sure how I
would get a copy of it if I wanted. It doesn’t matter. The budget is not what I’m complaining
about.
What I want to raise awareness of is this view of independents as second-class citizens. It
seems that many students view
independents as stupid, if
endearing, uncles or cousins at a
family function. The ones who,
no matter what they say, get the
response, “Well, isn’t that cute.”
Harbin seems to have taken this
ideology and swallowed it hook,
line, and sinker.
The first thing Harbin tells us
is that “Living in a fraternity on
this campus bring with it certain
‘perks,’ and I firmly believe that
is not the Greek students’
responsibility to compensate for
the forfeiture of these perks in
exchange for ‘independence.’”
Let me apologize, Mr. Harbin.
I was not aware that simply
living in a fraternity gave one
carte blanche over the money in
the student senate. Seeing as
how you used the plural form,
you apparently believe there are
more “perks” than simply control of the money. I didn’t realize that I forfeited many of my
rights as a Wabash student by
deciding to become an independent. Maybe they should
print that somewhere in the
brochures.
Secondly, Harbin claimed
that the IFC’s budget was drastically cut over the issue of ban-
“Maybe a little
more introspection
into the fraternity
system might
do some good.”
ners. Again, I wasn’t at the
meeting, nor do I have the budget or any other such pertinent
information. That is not my
qualm. My problem is how
Harbin blames the lack of banners for a bad rush. “Does anyone else remember how poorly
rush went last year, or noticed
how the fraternity/independent
ratio has been frighteningly
nearing the 50/50 mark?”
First of all, it would be
extremely shallow of you to
assume that your fellow schoolmates’ sole reason for choosing
not to join a fraternity was
because of the lack of banners.
Maybe a little more introspection into the fraternity system
might do some good. What
might change? I couldn’t tell
you. Besides, I’m an independent. You wouldn’t listen anyway.
Another thing about this last
quotation.
“Frighteningly”
close? What is so frightening
about this, Mr. Harbin? That
maybe you wouldn’t be able to
claim such “perks” and dominance over the student government? Maybe it is this air of
exclusivity and conceitedness
that turns so many away from
your organizations.
Fraternities are important to
the Wabash community. I’m not
going to deny this. The system
gives this place a certain character, a certain flavor. This does
not, however, mean that fraternity members are entitled to more
than independent students, especially when talking about the
student body government. The
Student Senate should be looking out for the interests of the
student body as a whole, representing what is best for Wabash
men instead of individual
groups.
First, let it
be
known
that
my
intent is not
to insult the
personal
character of
Harrison Harbin any
[email protected]
pendents, as
they are, just
as Greeks, a vital part of this
campus. My intention is
instead to question the purpose
of the Independent Men’s
Association and the ideologies
by which it operates. The IMA
has taken the idea of “independent living” and turned it
into an oxymoron, slowly but
surely familiarizing itself with
the customs and methods of
operation commonly found
among fraternities.
According to Webster, the
term “independent” is defined
as “not affiliated with a larger
controlling unit.” Some may
argue that the term independent has evolved from this
meaning on Wabash’s campus.
I argue that this apparent evolution is nothing more than a
collection of independent students seeing potential power in
the 40% foothold that their
“independent brothers” hold
on this campus.
Thus, the IMA of late has
taken it upon itself to fulfill
the void from lack of fraternal
organization and brotherhood.
Perhaps the empowerment of
the IMA is due to the reluctance by most fraternities on
campus to rush sophomores.
Perhaps it is simply a substitution in some students’ minds
for a fraternity that would
require pledging. Regardless
of the motives, the IMA has
overstepped its bounds on this
campus. Yes, that comes
across as pompous. Yes, that
comes across as shallow. No, I
don’t care.
Due to excess funds found
by the AFC, Tuesday night’s
Student Senate meeting once
again brought forward the
issue of rush banners for the
fraternity houses. This issue
again caused a stir among senators. As I argued last week,
the banners are an excellent
idea and are necessary to
improve rush this spring. Senator Jeremy Burton, however,
disagreed.
Upon his motion to strike
the banners, discussion arose
about necessity and “fairness”
to independents. Someone presented the idea that the independent dorms should receive
banners as well. Why? If a
recruit goes on a tour of the
college, the dorms are pointed
out to them (fraternity houses
are not).
If they visit or are placed in
a dorm during Honor Scholar
Weekend, they surely know its
location. Why else would
someone need to know where
the independent living units
were located?
Surely the independents on
this campus are not planning
on holding rush events during
Honor Scholar. Surely the
independents are not planning
on discouraging prospectives
from joining a fraternity. Surely, they do not think that being
independent
is
anything
besides the “other option”
when one chooses against
going Greek.
Unfortunately all of these
are, in fact, true. During a
rush-related class project last
semester, a number of independents in my class informed
me that independents have
been participating in what fraternities would refer to as
“dirty rush,” discouraging certain houses, or any house at
all, for students.
Granted, fraternities are not
for everyone. There needs to
be an alternate form of student
life on this campus where one
can find the independence that
he seeks. The IMA refutes this
entire idea, one that is held
true at other colleges with
Greek systems.
The result of their efforts? A
huge decrease in fraternity
numbers and a large number of
“wish I would have” students,
seeking to form a fraternitylike organization to compensate for their lapse in judgment.
Last spring, the IMA held
an event for prospectives during the fraternity rush over
Honor Scholar. Are independents rushing now? Instead of
serving as an alternate housing
option, are they becoming an
11th fraternal organization?
This movement has to stop.
I am not opposed to the
IMA providing entertainment
for independent students.
However, I do object when,
because they are not a duescollecting organization like the
fraternities or IFC, they seek
help from the Student Senate
for rush-related events and
faculty dinners.
The IMA does not need
“rush” banners. We know
where you are on campus.
Greeks, Honor Scholar weekend is coming soon, and I
would hate to see this turn into
a battle for numbers between
the IMA and IFC, but I fear it
to be inevitable.
Fraternity men of Wabash:
stand up and take action. Most
houses need better numbers,
but we need better fraternity
numbers as a whole too. Keep
our customs, identity, pride,
and loyalty as Greeks on this
campus sacred, and most
importantly, remind Wabash
why we all entered into the
bonds of real brotherhood.
“During a rush-related class
project last semester, a number
of independents in my class
informed me that
independents have been
participating in what
fraternities would refer to
as ‘dirty rush,’ discouraging
certain houses, or any
“house at all, for students.”
STUFF
PAGE 6 • THE BACHELOR
FEBRUARY 9, 2006
Andreas Klein Plays Wabash
Above: Internationally acclaimed pianist Andreas
Klein arrived on campus the day before his concert
to rehearse on the College’s new Steinway B piano.
“"It’s important to find a good instrument because
the best acoustics in a hall don’t really help you if
the piano is not very good," Klein said. "You have to
make friends with the instrument in a quick time,
adapt to the situation."
Left: Wabash alumnus John Failey ’72, his wife,
Jill, and Wabash College President Andy Ford joined
internationally acclaimed pianist Andreas Klein on
the Salter Hall stage after the performance.
STUFF
FEBRUARY 9, 2006
THE BACHELOR • PAGE 7
Piano Acquisition
Adds to Victory
Steve Zusack
[email protected]
Above: Klein performed in Salter Hall Sunday afternoon works
by Mozart, Schubert, and Beethoven.
Below: Kyle Prifogle ’09 and David Herr ’09 talk with internationally acclaimed pianist Andreas Klein.
The Wabash music department emphasizes three broad
aspects of music: theory, history and performance. After the concert on the new Steinway concert grand piano on the 4th, it
became very clear what the music department was shouting:
“Victory.”
Musical events on this campus have gone from zero to hero
over the past few years. Average audience sizes over the last
three years seem to have gone from fifteen to full house. More
students, more faculty, and more community members are coming for every event.
The concert with Andreas Klein needed tickets sold for it in
order to control just how packed the audience became. The family day concert three years ago entertained about 30 audience
members. Last semester it was “standing-room-only.” First
semester my freshman year, the headlines read “Wamaduhwhat?” Spring semester last year they read, “Wamadan concert
sold out!”
The musical events on campus are becoming favorites of
music fans and music experts alike. By offering a wide variety
of musical genres in an increasing number of musical events, it
is clear that the music department is accelerating off the map.
With the purchase of the new 7’ Steinway B piano, every
piano artist that comes to or through Wabash has access to a
world-class instrument. The piano would retail for about
$60,000. The Steinway offers artists a chance to have a light,
responsive, and full sound for performances.
In contrast, the music department also has a 9’ Boesendorfer
concert grand. This piano is currently being restrung and having
hammers replaced to improve its amazing sound. The Boesendorfer offers a booming powerhouse of sound combined with
fast and articulate responsiveness to play. Both the new Steinway piano and the repair being done to the Boesendorfer are
possible through an extremely generous donation made by John
(’72) and Jill Failey.
The two instruments will give artists a choice and ability to fit
the instrument with each individual performance. In addition to
these grand instruments, the music department has obtained several practice pianos over the years through other donations.
As was seen in the concert on the Sunday, the music department has risen above and beyond. With the performance of a
world class pianist on a new world class piano, with the increase
of audience members over the years, and with the overall diverse
field of expertise the music faculty offer, it is clear that the
music department has good reason to shout, “Victory.”
Photos By Steve Charles
STUFF
PAGE 8 • THE BACHELOR
FEBRUARY 9, 2006
When A Stranger Calls and Just Annoys the Hell out of You
Robert Fenoglio
[email protected]
When A Stranger Calls is a
remake of the 1978 original cultclassic that featured one of the
most famous horror movie lines,
“Have you checked the children?” This remake is one of the
worst movies I have seen in a
long time and should be avoided
at all costs.
Jill Johnson, a 16 year-old
track runner, has gone over her
parents’ cell phone plan by 800
minutes and, as punishment,
must baby-sit for a rich family in
order to pay her parents back.
(If Jill’s parents are lucky, the
maniac will kill her so they do
not have to worry about going
over their minutes next month.)
Baby-sitting as punishment is
one of two only interesting
things in this film.
The exquisitely designed
house is the other interesting tidbit. It recalls an Asian day-spa
and not a place where a family
would live yearlong. The house
even has a miniature ecosystem
in the living room, complete
with a massive koi pond and
some yellow birds.
This movie is so atrocious I
do not even know where to start.
First off, kudos to Camilla Belle
who plays Jill Johnson because
she pretty much keeps the viewer interested in the film (which is
saying a lot).
When A Stranger Calls lacks
the depth of some popular slasher flicks such as Scream and
Saw, in that it offers no background on the killer and his
motivations.
I, personally,
would like to know why he is
killing teen girls and the children
they baby-sit. Did he have a bad
experience with a baby-sitter
growing up? Did his baby-sitter
rape him or make fun of him
because he wets the bed? I want
answers.
Such information adds inter-
est and texture to the film. The
characters are so one-dimensional that when two of them are
killed, nobody really cares.
Speaking of killing, this film
shows absolutely none. Where
is the fun in that? I want to see
blood get splattered or see a head
get chopped off. In a day where
films like Saw and Hostel are
taking the number one spot at the
box office and raising the bar for
horror flicks and blood, why
couldn’t this film at least show a
little? The film tries too hard to
have the viewer think of what
could have happened to the victims, which in the end creates
boredom, not fear.
The biggest problem with
Stranger is that it’s not actually
scary. I did jump a few times,
but it was because of the family
cat. The actual killer is seen in
the film for maybe ten minutes
and produces absolutely no
scares. The “action” scenes with
Jill and the anonymous killer are
“Did he have a bad experience with a
baby-sitter growing up? Did his
baby-sitter rape him or make
fun of him because he
wets the bed? I want answers.”
not intense, but laughable. Jill
tends to trip a lot on things in the
house and even stumbles over
the killer a few times. If she
runs hurdles in track, she has
such a good opportunity to practice and completely blows it.
Jill also makes really stupid
weapon decisions. At one point,
she has to run out to the guesthouse and investigate, and
instead of grabbing a knife while
in the kitchen, she grabs a candlestick. Who are you? This
isn’t Clue, sweetheart, wrong
movie.
In the end, the movie tends to
annoy the viewer and drag on
like a relentless telemarketer.
You want it to end, but it just
will not quit. Even the ending
cannot save the film. I have no
comment on the ending because
there wasn’t one. I do not even
know how to explain it because I
am still confused. Either it was
the infamous episode of “Dallas” where everything is not
what it seemed, or it just set
itself up for a sequel. I honestly
could not tell you. Regardless,
this movie needs to be a stranger
to the public and stay on the donot-call list.
STUFF
FEBRUARY 9, 2006
PAGE 8 • THE BACHELOR
The Golden Girls: A Postmodernist Critique
Patrick J. Smith
[email protected]
In their seminal study of
Franz Kafka, Deleuze and Guattari deal with what they call “a
minor literature.” This is, as best
as I understand it, a literature
that – through subtext – subverts
its own genre. In other words, it
is a literature of deterritorialized
signs. Everything is the same,
but nothing is the same.
This seems to be an apt
metaphor for life in the 1980s.
The resurgence of the upperclass aesthetic of the 1950s,
albeit with a decidedly hedonistic subtext, presented a familiar
world with an unfamiliar grammar. One such bastard-child of
this deeply confused milieu was
the television program The
Golden Girls.
The best way to explain the
show is Sex and the City with
sexagenarians. However, that
misses the point. First of all,
Estelle Getty’s character was
supposed to be in her eighties,
but that is being a bit pedantic
about things. The heart of the
matter is the fact that a collection of aging dowagers and
divorcees lived relatively independent lives. Clearly, the elderly are not as helpless as Wilford
Brimley would have one
believe.
The feminist implications of
the show are clear, and – as such
– trivial. While I am writing a
postmodernist critique of The
Golden Girls, I do not want to
delve into such meta-trivialities.
If my word count needs a quick
boost, I might. However, the
feminist and age angles are necessary for my thesis (if I ever
state one), so I cannot dismiss
them entirely. If you want to do
so, you might as well go read
the cartoons. They will be funnier and more interesting than
women, things fall apart –
apologies to Yeats. The familiar
and friendly sign of the photoplay on the idiot-box becomes
new and different. However,
any small child can see that
nothing has changed.
The sign is deterritorialized.
The Golden Girls is not the formulaic, slightly trite thirty minutes of zingers and feelings that
it wants the audience to see. It is
minor literature, translated on to
the rest of this article.
A television show about four
relatively independent people,
beating the odds, is just a variation on one of the most tired formulae in television. However,
when those people are aging
the television. The show subverts the traditional sitcom by
transgressing one key barrier:
gender. No one looked askance
at The Odd Couple, despite an
undercurrent of repressed rage
and self-destructive hygiene
The best way to explain the show is Sex
and the City with sexagenarians.
problems. Men are allowed to
live together by themselves. It is
pure auto-affection, as outlined
in Derrida’s De la grammatologie, the affection that each man
derives from being able to do as
he pleases. It is the same affection that the viewers derive from
seeing people just like them act
out without a super-ego.
Of course, this brings us to
one of the problems Deleuze
and Guattari created and dealt
with in A Thousand Plateaus.
What happens to a sign disconnected from its regime? To
make an end-run, the women are
becoming-minor. In their universe, they are an absolute
majority. In reality, they are a
minority. They belong to their
stereotypes: the wisecracking
cynic, the vain fashionista, the
daft nice-person, and the acerbic
matriarch. They are becomingminor unto themselves.
However, most people are
not sixty-year-old dowagers and
divorcees. There is something
new and unfamiliar about a
minor variation on a major
theme. The presence of the
unknown (what do women do
when there is nothing to do?)
subverts this tried-and-true formula. The idiot-box, a trusted
friend, becomes a confusing
herald of signs that have no real
connection. The minor literature
on the television is a problem.
The menacing and seductive
allure of television forces the
viewer to make intertextual references to other, similar shows.
However, there is never a similar show. This minor literature
has subverted television. This
subversive element has reduced
the fascism of vision to a deep
confusion. Everyone is becoming-minor now. Here comes
everybody.
This is our last dance. We are
forced into a realm where nothing is what it seems, but it is
precisely the same thing we
have seen everyday. The television belongs to the sign it transmits. It becomes-minor. The
Golden Girls is the most subversive television show in the history of the medium. It takes the
terra firma of the photoplay and
moves it on to a thin tissue of
surreality. We all become-minor
when we watch The Golden
Girls. Even the mighty sign of
television is deterritorialized
with witty banter and drecky
emotion.
Bea Arthur is pretty cool, too.
This cartoon was originally intended to run in last week’s issue.
STUFF
PAGE 10 • THE BACHELOR
FEBRUARY 9, 2006
Brokeback Mountain Perfect for Valentine’s Day
Tony Lewis
[email protected]
We’ve all gone to a hyped-up
movie and been disappointed,
expecting a well-written, welldirected, and well-acted film but
ended up going home eight dollars poorer and rather upset.
Luckily, Brokeback Mountain,
with all that has been said, actually lived up to the hype. If anything, I would have to say that
the movie was not given its due.
Many of the lines in the movie,
“Why can’t I quiet you?” for
example has been taken out of
context and made to sound
corny.
However, within the
context of the movie, it is a very
powerful line that doesn’t hit
your ears like nails on a chalkboard.
With everything that the press
has said about the movie, we all
know the story. Two ranch
hands, Ennis Del Mar (Heath
Ledger) and Jack Twist (Jake
Gyllenhaal), spend the summer
herding sheep in the Brokeback
Mountains. During the course of
the summer they begin a rela-
tionship that is abruptly put on
hold once the summer ends.
They don’t see each other for the
next four or five years, during
which time they get married and
have children. However, after
this long hiatus, they resume a
clandestine, twenty-year relationship with one another.
At the beginning of their relationship, Jack suggests that they
leave their families and live
together, but Ennis is afraid of
the wrath of society and his own
family’s well-being. In the end,
the inability to be with one
another on a permanent basis
strains their relationship and
their lives.
In many ways, it is one of the
best gay-interest movies ever
made. Many gay-interest films
tend to deal with hustlers, drugs,
or are so badly written that they
are painful to watch.
This
movie, beyond its status as
ground-breaking film, is also
well written. The writers were
able to take a ten-page story and
turn it into a film with so many
layers; it requires multiple viewings to catch even half of them.
One of the other films, in this
genre, to achieve this level of
sophistication, is the 1987 Merchant-Ivory film Maurice starring Hugh Grant and James
Wilby. It is based upon the E.M.
Forster novel of the same name,
that was one of the first gayinterest novels to have a happy
ending. Written in 1914, it was
posthumously published in 1970
because of the stigma attached to
homosexuality at that time. This
was achieved, partly due to Merchant and Ivory’s ability to create quality films, and E.M.
Forster’s tight prose.
Maurice is about two men,
Maurice Hall (James Wilby) and
Clive Durham (Hugh Grant),
who begin a romantic relationship while attending Oxford
University. However, due to
societal pressures, Clive breaks
it off and marries a woman he
meets while on vacation. Eventually Maurice falls in love with
another man named Alec Scudder (Rupert Graves) and gives
up his position in society to be
with him.
Like Brokeback Mountain,
this movie has many different
layers and raises multiple issues
that may not be apparent upon
initial viewings. It questions the
English class system of that
time, champions the validity of
homosexual love, and examines
the nature of true love-among
other things.
Brokeback Mountain tackles
many of the same issues, specifically in the way that it attempts
to validate homosexual love and
examines the nature of love. Are
these two men in love with each
other or is it simply sexual?
One of the biggest issues raised
in the film is whether Jack and
Ennis are actually homosexuals.
After they sleep with one another for the first time, they both
contend that they are straight,
yet continue their relationship.
Later, they marry women, have
children, and initially seem
happy, except for their longing
for one another. Are they simply doing what society expects
them to do by getting married, or
were they actually in love with
their wives?
I think one of the main
motives for creating this film
was to argue for making one’s
sexuality inconsequential. I
believe Brokeback Mountain
was meant to show audiences
that a person’s sexuality is not
black and white, that there are
many shades of grey.
Beyond its function as a brilliant marketing ploy, Ang Lee’s
desire to call this a love story,
not a gay love story, was a way
of making homosexual love
commonplace in society, a way
of legitimizing the love between
Ennis and Jack. This might be
the reason why this movie is
such a big date movie for heterosexual and homosexual couples
alike.
Perhaps heterosexual couples
see the same love they have for
one another in the homosexual
relationship between Ennis and
Jack. Perhaps the love between
two men isn’t as far removed
from that between a man and a
woman. All-in-all, it is a first
rate movie that deserves all of
the accolades it is receiving.
Check it out with the one you
love for Valentine’s Day!
Caveman to Gentleman
Steve Egan
[email protected]
Ever since the first caveman
smashed a bunch of grapes, let it
sit for a couple of days, and then
took a sip, men having been battling the ancient curse of hangovers. When that caveman woke
up with the Stone Age equivalent
of a lampshade on his head, he
felt much the same way that we
do today after a long night of
decadence.
Some see the hangover as the
penalty you must pay for your
overindulgence, while others
bear it proudly as the badge of
debauchery well done. Whatever
way we look at hangovers, we
need a way to feel good enough
to drink again.
The French call it wooden
throat and the Swedes copper
hammering. There are all sorts of
strange names and cures for the
hangover, some that make a bit
more sense than others. Haitians
use voodoo. By sticking thirteen
black pins into the cork of their
bottle they scare away the evil
spirits sure to haunt them in the
morning.
Those in Birmingham will tell
you eating a fried canary or two
will help to ease the symptoms.
Some even say that eating dried
jackrabbit droppings is the way to
go. These solutions are well and
good, but Wallies need some real
answers.
Hangovers are caused by the
impurities in the spirits we sometimes imbibe a bit excessively.
These impurities include substances like methanol and acetone. Prohibition alcohol was
almost all methanol, which is
why it was notorious for causing
blindness.
To reduce the amount of these
chemicals going into your system, throw a few extra bucks into
the hat and splurge on a little
more expensive bottle of granddad’s old cough medicine.
Cheaper liquor usually has a
higher percentage of these harmful chemicals. Maybe you don’t
have the few extra bones to throw
down. Clear alcoholic beverages
like gin and vodka usually have a
lower percentage of impurities.
The same goes for white wine
over red. So if you haven’t got
the cash buy your hooch like you
hope to have your head in the
morning, go clear.
The headache you get from the
blinding light and piercing noise
is caused by the cells in your
brain going through withdrawal
from the alcohol. The dilating of
your blood vessels, also caused
by alcohol, only intensifies the
suffering.
Your body can burn about half
an ounce of pure alcohol in an
hour. Enzymes in your stomach
convert the alcohol, which later
gets into the bloodstream.
Women have less of this enzyme
as do Japanese and Native American men, causing them all to get
drunk quicker.
To slow the absorption of
alcohol the best suggestion is to
nurse your drink slowly. If, due
to peer pressure, this is not a possibility, try to drink on a full
stomach. Diluting your drinks is
another option that will slow your
absorption. This option will
probably make you look like a
sissy-man though so instead try
to chug a glass of water between
drinks.
Alcohol is a diuretic, which is
another reason to drink more
water. At the very least have
glass before you go out and leave
a glass on your nightstand for
when you get back. Along with
the glass of water, leave a Hershey’s bar for yourself. Not only
will you be stoked that someone
left you a candy bar, but sugar
also seems to help. This doesn’t
work so well if your uncivilized
activity tends toward the chaotic
and you never know where
you’re going to end up sleeping
at the end of you night.
Once into your bed if the room
is still spinning put one foot on
the ground, at the very least it will
slow the room down. Alcohol
disrupts, among other body
rhythms, your sleep patterns.
This will give you the feeling of
jet lag when you wake up.
So don’t feel bad about staying in bed a few extra hours. If
you should triumph over adversity and get out of bed in the post
meridian hours of the day, make
yourself a light breakfast high in
carbohydrates and fructose.
Toast and honey is an easy standby. Steer clear of the coffee and
tea as they will only further dehydrate you.
So as these next few weekends
find you I hope that so too does
this article. Party on.
SPORTS
FEBRUARY 9, 2006
THE BACHELOR • PAGE 11
Track Excels Against
NAIA Competition
Ashley Stephen
news editor
This past Saturday, the Little Giant track team traveled to
Illinois Wesleyan University in
Bloomington, Illinois to compete in the Titan Open.
Freshman Wade Heiny,
competing in his first collegiate meet, finished 5th in the
55-meter hurdles.
In the 200-meter dash, several Wabash athletes competed.
Sophomores Mike Russell and
Bart Banach had the top performances for the Little Giants,
finishing 10th and 12th,
respectively.
Junior Nathan Bates won his
section with a time of 50.76
seconds on the way to 3rd
place overall in the 400-meter
dash. His performance earned
him the NCAC Sprinter of the
Week.
In the 800-meter run, sophomore Tim Rickard was the lone
Little Giant participant. Running the race for the first time
ever, Rickard won his section
and earned 19th place overall.
“It was awesome,” Rickard
said of his victorious experience in the 800. “I’d do it
again.”
In the mile run, sophomore
Geoff Lambert, running the
race for the first time this season, earned an 8th-place overall finish while freshman Hugh
Jackson posted a 13th-place
overall finish for the Little
Giants.
Sophomore Ben Bly and
senior Ethan Paul had outstanding performances in the
5000-meter run. Bly pulled
away from the field to take 1stplace in a time of 15:45.59,
while Paul crossed the finish
line in 4th-place. In honor of
his winning performance, Bly
earned NCAC Distance Runner
of the Week.
In the 4x400-meter relay,
the team of Bart Banach, Mike
Russell, Nathan Bates, and
Geoff Lambert found themselves in a very competitive
race. Finishing 2.62 seconds
behind first, the Little Giants
finished 4th, a mere 0.02 seconds ahead of the 5th-place
team.
The field events were very
successful for the Little Giants.
Mike Russell finished 4th in
the long jump and tied with
freshman Andrew Rode for 5th
in the high jump.
Sophomore Nelson Barre
took 8th place in the pole vault.
While in the final event of the
day, junior Ben Tritle and
sophomore John Tsintis finished 4th and 9th, respectively.
This weekend the Wabash
track team travels to DePauw
to compete in the Tiger Invitational. The following weekend
the Little Giants return home to
compete in the Wabash Indoor
Open.
As the team looks ahead to
the North Coast Athletic Conference Championships in
three weeks, the Little Giants
currently have some of the
conference’s top performances.
In the 55-meter dash, Bart
Banach is tied for the top time,
while freshman Ja’Michael
Hill is tied for the 5th-best
time. While in the 200-meter
dash, Mike Russell and Banach
have the 2nd- and 3rd-best
times, respectively.
In the 400-meter dash,
Nathan Bates, the defending
conference champion, has the
top time, while Tim Rickard
has the 4th-best time.
In the 800-meter run, Geoff
Lambert, the defending conference champion, has the top
time. Lambert also has the top
time in the mile run.
In the 5000-meter run, junior Dennis Frazee has the 7thbest time. Wade Heiny has the
2nd-best time in the 55-meter
hurdles, while teammate and
fellow freshman Arthur Banks
has the 8th-best time.
In the high jump, Andrew
Rode is tied for the 3rd-best
height, while Mike Russell is
tied for the 7th-best. In the
long jump, Russell has the 6thbest distance. In the shot put,
Ben Tritle has 7th-best distance.
Wabash has the top times in
all three relays – the 4x200, the
4x400, and the distance medley
– run at the conference meet.
With such good performances at this point in the season,
the Little Giants are well-situated to challenge defending
champion Allegheny at the
NCAC Championships on
March 3rd and 4th.
PHOTO BY JEFF SOSTAK
The football team recieved their NCAC championship rings last Saturday during halftime of a 92-80
Wabash win over Denison. The class of ‘06 is the winningest football class in Wabash history. Russ
Harbaugh also recieved his NCAC Offensive Player of the Year award at this time.
The Indianapolis Association of Wabash Men
Says
Good luck to swimming at NCAC
Championships
W
Good luck to track at DePauw
Good luck to wrestling at Midstates
Good luck to basketball at Wooster
Good luck to tennis this weekend
WABASH ALWAYS FIGHTS!
SPORTS
THE BACHELOR • PAGE 12 • FEBRUARY 9, 2006
Wabash Wins Thriller
Over Earlham in Overtime
Aaron Parrish
sports editor
Photo by Steve Abbott
Kyle Medeiros drives around Earlham’s Neil Collins. Medeiros had 7 points, 2 assists, and 4 rebounds.
Caleb Lyttle and Gary Simkus led the team with 15 points each.
To start the week, the Little
Giants had two things written
up on their whiteboard. One
was a message saying “To host
[opening round of the NCAC
tournament] for the fifth
straight year, Wednesday is a
must win!” The other simply
listed the records for both
Wabash and Earlham: 7-5
each.
Before last night’s game,
Wabash and Earlham were tied
for fourth in the NCAC,
behind national number 1
Wooster team, a national number 6 Wittenberg team, and 9-3
NCAC Ohio Wesleyan team.
The top four teams would host
an opening round game in the
NCAC tournament.
The two teams came out
and played up to the importance of the game. In the first
half, Earlham’s LaRon Henry
had 14 points, but his team
trailed 32-30 after a balanced
Wabash effort. The second
half was a different story,
though. Through the first ten
minutes of the second half,
Wabash scored only 6 points
compared to Earlham’s 18.
Wabash would get down by as
much as ten points.
At roughly the ten minute
mark, Wabash sent in fresh
players in Kyle Coffey, Jimmy
Owens, Earl Rooks, and Ryan
Stephens. This was the group
that jump-started the comeback. It took some time, but
Earl Rooks hit a three with
about two minutes to go to
finally tie the game. The
Quakers would build a small
lead after this, only to have it
cut to one with 18.5 seconds to
go. This is when the fun
started.
Wabash has only
three games left in
the regular season.
Earlham had two free
throws coming, of which it
missed the first. After a time
out, the Quakers put in the second free throw, giving them a
two-point lead.
Wabash
turned the ball over on their
next possession and was
forced to foul right away, giving the Quakers another two
free throws, this time with 9
seconds.
The first three throw was
good this time, giving Earlham
a three-point lead. The second
free throw rolled out, and Coffey pulled down the rebound.
He kicked the ball to Owens,
who dribbled to the top of the
key and swished a fade-away
three to tie the game up at 61
as the buzzer sounded.
Coffey won the opening tip
of overtime and it started off a
back and forth battle. With 2
minutes to go in overtime,
Rooks hit a trey to put the Little Giants up by 2, and the
team never looked back. Earlham shot numerous free
throws, but couldn’t connect.
Coffey had three of his five
rebounds in overtime. When
the final buzzer sounded, the
Little Giants came out on top,
72-66. Earlham managed only
five points in the overtime.
Wabash has only three
games left in the regular season. The Little Giants’ next
game is next Saturday at
Wooster. Next Wednesday
Wabash will face Wittenberg
here at Chadwick, followed by
a game at Kenyon on February
18.