BACHELOR the the student voice of Wabash since 1908 February 9, 2006 • Volume 119 • Issue 4 • 765-361-6213 • bachelor.wabash.edu • [email protected] Extraordinary Case Appears at Wabash HOWARD HEWITT Judges Patricia Riley, James Kirsch, and Margaret Robb come out frombehind the panel to talk with students, faculty, and guests. Royce V. Gregerson stuff editor Big personalities, arrogant judges, self-serving lawyers, and greedy clients – all of these form the American legal system as portrayed in popular media. About 25 Wabash students experienced a very different legal system, however, when the Indiana Court of Appeals heard oral arguments on campus. Those in attendance even witnessed what Chief Judge James S. Kirsch described as “rather extraordi- nary.” The oral arguments, held in the Goodrich Room of the Lilly Library last Thursday, involved the application of Indiana’s Habitual Offender Law in Puckett vs. State. The defendant is currently in prison serving a sentence enhanced by the law. However, the defense argued that the defendant should not have been eligible for the habitual offender sentence enhancement. Surprisingly, the state agreed. “The oral arguments bring cases to life,” said Kirsch, whose son Adam is a member of the class of 2007. “They give us an opportunity to resolve the questions we may have that aren’t answered in the briefs and other research.” Is his opening remarks, the Attorney General’s lawyer stated that his office is “responsible for seeing justice is done.” This framed the rest of the hearing in terms of correctly applying Indiana law. Judges Kirsch, Patricia Riley, See Court, Page 2 Webmail Suggestions Jeremy Sexton [email protected] Have you been noticing problems with the performance of your email in the past few weeks? If so, here are some potential issues that maybe the root of the problem, and some suggestions to enhance your email’s performance. The number-one hindrance of optimal email performance is the number of messages of your inbox. If you have more than a hundred messages in your inbox chances are that not only are you impairing your personal email performance but also the performance of other’s email across campus. Cleaning out your inbox is one of the best ways to enhance your email’s performance. However, merely deleting the amount of messages in your inbox will not get the job done. It is extremely important that you purge your trash folder after deleting any messages. Otherwise, according to Director of Information Technology Brad Weaver, the message will remain in your email account and hinder the College’s server performance. You can help improve the overall system efficiency by using the mass mailing lists (!everyone, !students, !staff, etc.) sparingly. Here are some suggestions: Send only one or two announcements about a campus event. Ask someone to proofread your messages before sending to make sure all important information is disclosed in your message. Use the smallest list possible to reach your intended audience. Use the classified ad system (www.wabash.edu/classifieds) for lost and found or “for sale” announcements. E-mail use is typically most frequent during 8:00 a.m.8:30 a.m. Monday through Fridays (particularly Mondays), 9:50a.m.- 10:20a.m. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and 1:00 p.m.-1: 30 p.m. Monday and Friday. So expect slower operating speeds during those times. “Providing excellent email service to the Wabash community is a priority for our department.” Weaver said. “We are spending substantial time and energy to improve the system. Aside from working with oncampus experts, we are also working with two outside consulting firms on the issue. “The most significant problem we face at the moment is that by dramatically increasing the student, faculty, and staff mailbox quota last summer, campus users have been able to allow their mail boxes to grow unchecked.” Just remember the status of your mailbox not only affects your own personal e-mail account but also the reliability and speed of every e-mail account on campus. The number-one hindrance of optimal email performance is the number of messages of your inbox. If you have more than a hundred messages in your inbox chances are that not only are you impairing your personal email performance but also the performance of other’s email across campus. NEWS PAGE 2 • THE BACHELOR the student voice of Wabash since 1908 The purpose of The Bachelor is to serve the school audience, including but not limited to administrators, faculty and staff, parents, alumni, community members and most importantly, the students. Because this is a school paper, the content and character within will cater to the student body’s interests, ideas and issues. Further, this publication will serve as a medium and forum for student opinions and ideas. Although an individual newspaper, the Board of Publications publishes The Bachelor. The Bachelor and BOP receive funding from the Wabash College Student Senate, which derives its funds from the Wabash College student body. Letters (e-mails) to the editor are welcomed and encouraged. They will only be published if they include name, phone, or e-mail, and are not longer than 350 words. The Bachelor reserves the right to edit letters for content, typographical errors, and length. All letters received become property of this publication for the purposes of reprinting and/or redistribution. Profanity may appear in the publication, but only in cases of direct quote or if profanity is necessary to the content of the story. Please do not confuse profanity with obscenity. No article or picture of an obscene nature will appear in this publication. The Bachelor is printed every Thursday at the Journal Review in Crawfordsville. It is delivered freely to all students, faculty, and staff at Wabash College. To receive a year’s subscription, send a $30 check (mail) or $10 (e-mail) to The Bachelor. All advertising published in The Bachelor is subject to the applicable rate card. The Bachelor reserves the right to deny requests for publication of advertisements. Student organizations of Wabash College may purchase advertisements at half the listed rate. The Bachelor is a member of the Hoosier State and Indiana Collegiate Press Associations (HSPA and ICPA). editor in chief Nelson Barre [email protected] managing editor Timothy Flowers [email protected] news editor Ashley Stephen [email protected] opinion editor Adam Hawkins [email protected] White to Make First Appearance Royce V. Gregerson stuff editor Today marks the first time that Dr. Pat White will set foot on the Wabash College campus as President-elect. White, who the Board of Trustees selected as the 15th President of Wabash College on January 28, will succeed Andy Ford on July 1. White’s visit to campus comes on the eve of the beginning of the search for a new Dean of the College. Court From Page 1 and Margaret Robb asked many questions of both lawyers, attempting to ascertain the best action to correct the misapplication of the habitual offender law. Following the hearing, the judges fielded questions from students and faculty members present, but could not answer questions on the hearing. The judges also described their Nick Leon stuff editor Royce Gregerson [email protected] “Read between the lines”. This was the phrase that Judge Daniel Pratt Baldwin told the first contestants of the Baldwin Oratorical on April 24, 1873. “By this he meant that life is not merely a process of acquiring and storing knowledge, but that it is also an interpretive and creative endeavor,” Professor Timmerman said. It is time once again to allow students to “read between the lines” in the 132nd Baldwin Oratorical Contest. Students will be given the opportunity to display their skills as orators. Judge Baldwin, who was a long-time trustee of the college, endowed an award to be given each year to three stu- layout Nelson Barre, Aaron Parrish, Steve Crockett copy editor Ashley Stephen, Royce Gregerson BOP advisors Howard Hewitt, Jim Amidon & Steve Charles The Bachelor 301 W. Wabash Ave. Crawfordsville, IN 47933 © Wabash College 2003 - 2004 “Students will get to see Dr. White, but this is an informal stop for him on his way to the Dean of the College interviews in Indianapolis,” said Jim Amidon, Director of Public Affairs and Marketing. White will likely attend Chapel, but since the visit is purely informal, no meetings, lunches, or similar venues are set for students to meet White. “I am really looking forward to meeting students of Wabash,” White said last week. “However, I am not totally sure when such opportunities will be available, but it is something I very much look forward to.” White is also set to meet with members of the Crawfordsville and Montgomery County press, along with reporters from Wabash student publications. The visit will likely mark the anticipation and excitement the campus that can be felt on campus regarding the College’s immediate future. own experiences with the legal system and explained how they came to the Indiana Court of Appeals. Kirsch described the importance of holding the hearings at Wabash. “We really see it as an outreach and an education, as an opportunity for people who otherwise wouldn’t get to see the process to see it up close and personal,” he said. “This was my first experience seeing a court hearing,” said Jay Horrey ’09. “It was a great first-hand learning experience.” A legal debate class taught by Professor Allwyn Tellis attended the hearing. The class had originally planned to argue the case in class, but the state’s admission of wrongdoing called the activity into question. Justin Liedel ’09, a member of the class, said, “It was great to see it done by professionals. It was rather different than I expected it to be.” Kirsch also commented on the reaction students typically have to the hearings, which the court holds across the state. “Typically it depends on the teachers and the amount of ST. MARY’S COLLEGE Dr. Patrick White work they have done in preparing the students,” he said. Those in attendance were well prepared, concerned, and observant, based on their questions and reactions to the hearing. The Court of Appeals has held hearings at Wabash several times before. The Court planned a hearing last year, but a cancellation forced the Court to simply hold a question and answer session. Howard Hewitt, Director of New Media, contributed to this story. Speak Between the Lines sports editor Aaron Parrish [email protected] photo editor Steve Crockett [email protected] FEBRUARY 9, 2006 [email protected] dents who best exemplify the qualities of a good orator. Professor Timmerman described this as “students who compose and pronounce the best oration”. The contest this year has an important significance different from past years. The topic is “Dear Mr. President…” which gives the contestants the opportunity to give advice to our incoming president, Dr. Patrick White. “This is a special year for us as a college and we are happy to have the Baldwin Oratorical play a role,” Professor Timmerman said. The contest could turn out to be a great introduction to the college for White. However, it will be the job of the contestant to present his views in the best way possible. The contest this year has an important significance different from past years. The topic is “Dear Mr. President…” which gives the contestants the opportunity to give advice to our incoming president, Dr. Patrick White. The contest will began Monday February 13th with preliminary rounds that will be judged by the Rhetoric Faculty, these will continue on Tuesday. The finals will we held on Thursday of that week at 8:00PM and will be judged by a select panel of judges. All of the finalists are going to receive a bound copy of the complete works of Shakespeare and cash prizes. The Baldwin Oratorical Contest is the longest continuous running speaking contest west of the Alleghenies. This contest has been an important part of Wabash since 1873. It is a great contest of speech creating a beautiful setting for any student to voice his opinions and ideas. The contest should be very entertaining and bring to light some important issues between students and the president of Wabash. FEBRUARY 9, 2006 NEWS THE BACHELOR • PAGE 3 This Week in Wabash History Greer Speaks Out on Feminism January 23, 1976 Germaine Greer, feminism’s revolutionary standard-bearer and tart-tongued author of “The Female Eunuch,” will speak Tuesday (Jan. 27) at 8 p.m. in the Humanities Center Auditorium. Her lecture, “Feminism and Fertility,” is free and open to the public. She fills a vacancy in the Wabash College Lecture Series created by Shana Alexander’s cancellation to cover the Patty Heart trial for CBS television. The controversial Ms. Greer is not the first feminist to speak at the all-male liberal arts college, but she may enjoy better response than the “rowdy reaction” Gloria Steinem evoked in an earlier appearance. Ms. Greer’s “Female Eunuch” was acclaimed by men as well as women, because she attacked what she considered non-productive tactics embraced by some segments of the women’s liberation movement. “Sick of peering at the world through false eyelashes,” the Australia-born professor and British television personality rose to fame in the feminist movement with the 1970 publication of “The Female Eunuch.” Ms. Greer argues that society foists on women a passive, insipid and “feminine” role that they must renounce to regain their sexuality. She advocates a revolutionary change of spirit for women, instead of rebellion. Solidarity of “COMPS” Hailed by Newsweek as “women’s lib’s most realistic – and least anti-male – manifesto, Ms. Greer’s ‘Female Eunuch’ topped best-seller lists in Great Britain and hovered near the top of lists in the United States before being translated into 12 other languages.” Montgomery County Red Cross http://chapters.redcross.org/ in/montgomery Information on Health & Safety Classes OPINION PAGE 4 • THE BACHELOR FEBRUARY 9, 2006 THE BACHELOR’S OPINION the voice of Wabash since 1908 Nelson Barre editor in chief Royce Gregerson stuff editor Tim Flowers managing editor EDITORIALS Ashley Stephen news editor Adam Hawkins opinion editor Aaron Parrish sports editor Too Important for Words With the celebration of student research completed, Andreas Klein happily flying far away from Indiana, and the lull of middle semester approaching, we here at the Bachelor have found a dearth of campusrelated topics to discuss. We could dive back into the co-ed debate, the pseudo independent-fraternity battling ensuing in our opinion section, or even the classical liberal vs. conservative tango. Instead, we’ve decided to stop deafening your ears and blinding your eyes with bureaucratic white noise. Instead, we’ve decided to cover one really tough question that’s been plaguing our late night layouts, where our combined intellects force us to tackle those issues meaningful to society, in particular one issue that might dictate the future trajectory of our generation. The quintessential question is: whom would you rather have by your side, Lando Calrissian or Han Solo? On the basis of their past, it seems Han Solo is the obvious choice. Aside from shooting a bounty hunter underneath a bar-table in the Mos Eisley spaceport, it is widely known that Solo completed the Kessel Run in under 12 parsecs and he enabled the Death Star’s destruction twice, essentially saving the entire universe. Lando Calrissian, on the other hand, sold out his friend and his people (Cloud City) based on threats from the Empire, is a greedy capitalistic pig, and is a minor character in the movie and therefore expendable. Han Solo, as a major character in a film about the ultimate triumph of good over evil, cannot be killed. With such strong evidence against Calrissian, on a closer analysis we found that he does redeem himself somewhat after helping the Empire encase Han Solo in frozen carbonite. At the end of The Empire Strikes Back, Lando is the one who carries Leia and Luke to safety within Solo’s Millennium Falcon. Aside from providing the rebels with valuable information against the Empire, Calrissian was the one who flew into the “incomplete” Death Star to destroy its core (only after Han Solo had heroically taken the shields down, of course). However, the score in saving the universe still remains Calrissian – 1, Solo – 2. In addition, by drawing Solo and Leia into Vader’s emotional trap, Calrissian inadvertently drew Luke Skywalker to Cloud City and thus almost caused the death of the free universe by allowing the Sith to finally triumph. When it comes down to the basics, however, it’s impossible to deny that Calrissian is a “red-shirt,” a minor character. Thus, back to the original question, if one were to enter into a science fiction fight with both Lando and Han, the rogue space-pirate and best-friend to Chewie would walk away unharmed, while the self-interested and greedy bureaucrat may be done away with for plot purposes, or to stir emotion in the audience without breaking their hearts. On this fact alone rests Han Solo’s superiority, his prominent place in the original screenplay. Perhaps their pasts are arguable, and we certainly haven’t considered the superfluous wealth of secondary (outside of the movies) sources on the subject. Nevertheless, perhaps this could provide a beginning to the debate in your own living units. As you can see, we here at the Bachelor are concerned with the things that matter, the issues that hold the global community on the edge of their seats awaiting more. With our Wabash education we revel in probing these tough issues with all the jolly abandon of an alcoholic in a brewery. So, enjoy this week’s editorial. With all the exciting things happening on campus this week, more debates like these are in the making. Change or Perish Tanner Kinkead [email protected] In reading Harrison Harbin’s article, “Ineffective Student Senate Strikes Again,” which appeared in last week’s edition of the Bachelor, I felt a response was needed. I do not criticize Mr. Harbin for defending the IFC. I am, admittedly, an independent, and therefore have very little to do with the IFC. But I do have my own club that I also believe was slighted in budget distribution, and can sympathize. I do, however, disagree on a few matters. Firstly, Mr. Harbin mentions that the IFC “represents the largest club on campus, collecting dues from approximately 60% of Wabash students.” I will not quibble with Mr. Harbin on his use of the world ‘club’ to describe all fraternity members, but I imagine he means something more like ‘group’ or ‘constituency’. Mr. Harbin undermines his own argument here. The IFC is perhaps one of the only clubs on campus that, in his words, ‘collect[s] dues.’ The IMA, with which Mr. Harbin compares the IFC, does not. Both the IFC and the individ- ual fraternities have some money to spend, which the IMA does not. But this is not my real point. What I really want to argue with is Mr. Harbin’s characterization of the Greek/independent ratio as “frighteningly nearing the 50/50 mark.” Frankly, I fail to see what is so frightening about this. Are we to be frightened? The only thing here that scares me is the possibility of an independent housing crunch like we had three years ago. However, I am not frightened that some of our students are making different lifestyle choices than they used to. What is Mr. Harbin’s solution to this state of affairs? Banners, of course! Banners will improve rush turnout. I tell you, Mr. Harbin, if you attract more men to your fraternity simply because your Greek letters are written larger than they otherwise would have been, you ought to worry about the quality of men you are bringing in. The real solution to the decline in fraternities is that fraternities must change to survive. The Greek/independent ratio is leveling out because Greek life is no longer as attractive as it once was. If my experience tells me anything, it is that rush goes reasonably well. It is pledgeship where everything goes wrong. I remember one night last year when two-thirds of the Theta Delt pledge class moved into my floor on Martindale. Fraternities do get Wabash freshmen, but many of them turn away from you because they find that the benefits do not outweigh the costs. Fraternities cannot simply be. They must offer their residents something, something that most Wabash students will think worth the disadvantages of fraternity life. Fraternities should counter the need for pledge activities with activities that are enjoyable and worthwhile, like attending concerts and art exhibits. Fraternities should counter their rigid social structures by encouraging their members to take an active part in campus life while still keeping their own uniqueness. Fraternities must do something to convince students that they are worthwhile and relevant, and not merely dwindling legacies. Fraternities mush change or perish. Banners will not help a whit. OPINION FEBRUARY 9, 2006 THE BACHELOR • PAGE 5 Not Second “Independent Rush”? Class Citizens Aaron Parrish sports editor I’m not one who gets riled up easily. In fact, this is my first foray into the opinion pages. There are times when one just cannot stand idly by. According to Harrison Harbin, I write to you today as a second-class citizen here at Wabash. I am an independent. I hope that this “fact” doesn’t turn you away from reading what I have to say. Harbin wrote complaining about the Student Senate and the budgeting process. My intention is not to address that facet of the article. I don’t have the budget right in front of me, and to be honest, I’m not even sure how I would get a copy of it if I wanted. It doesn’t matter. The budget is not what I’m complaining about. What I want to raise awareness of is this view of independents as second-class citizens. It seems that many students view independents as stupid, if endearing, uncles or cousins at a family function. The ones who, no matter what they say, get the response, “Well, isn’t that cute.” Harbin seems to have taken this ideology and swallowed it hook, line, and sinker. The first thing Harbin tells us is that “Living in a fraternity on this campus bring with it certain ‘perks,’ and I firmly believe that is not the Greek students’ responsibility to compensate for the forfeiture of these perks in exchange for ‘independence.’” Let me apologize, Mr. Harbin. I was not aware that simply living in a fraternity gave one carte blanche over the money in the student senate. Seeing as how you used the plural form, you apparently believe there are more “perks” than simply control of the money. I didn’t realize that I forfeited many of my rights as a Wabash student by deciding to become an independent. Maybe they should print that somewhere in the brochures. Secondly, Harbin claimed that the IFC’s budget was drastically cut over the issue of ban- “Maybe a little more introspection into the fraternity system might do some good.” ners. Again, I wasn’t at the meeting, nor do I have the budget or any other such pertinent information. That is not my qualm. My problem is how Harbin blames the lack of banners for a bad rush. “Does anyone else remember how poorly rush went last year, or noticed how the fraternity/independent ratio has been frighteningly nearing the 50/50 mark?” First of all, it would be extremely shallow of you to assume that your fellow schoolmates’ sole reason for choosing not to join a fraternity was because of the lack of banners. Maybe a little more introspection into the fraternity system might do some good. What might change? I couldn’t tell you. Besides, I’m an independent. You wouldn’t listen anyway. Another thing about this last quotation. “Frighteningly” close? What is so frightening about this, Mr. Harbin? That maybe you wouldn’t be able to claim such “perks” and dominance over the student government? Maybe it is this air of exclusivity and conceitedness that turns so many away from your organizations. Fraternities are important to the Wabash community. I’m not going to deny this. The system gives this place a certain character, a certain flavor. This does not, however, mean that fraternity members are entitled to more than independent students, especially when talking about the student body government. The Student Senate should be looking out for the interests of the student body as a whole, representing what is best for Wabash men instead of individual groups. First, let it be known that my intent is not to insult the personal character of Harrison Harbin any [email protected] pendents, as they are, just as Greeks, a vital part of this campus. My intention is instead to question the purpose of the Independent Men’s Association and the ideologies by which it operates. The IMA has taken the idea of “independent living” and turned it into an oxymoron, slowly but surely familiarizing itself with the customs and methods of operation commonly found among fraternities. According to Webster, the term “independent” is defined as “not affiliated with a larger controlling unit.” Some may argue that the term independent has evolved from this meaning on Wabash’s campus. I argue that this apparent evolution is nothing more than a collection of independent students seeing potential power in the 40% foothold that their “independent brothers” hold on this campus. Thus, the IMA of late has taken it upon itself to fulfill the void from lack of fraternal organization and brotherhood. Perhaps the empowerment of the IMA is due to the reluctance by most fraternities on campus to rush sophomores. Perhaps it is simply a substitution in some students’ minds for a fraternity that would require pledging. Regardless of the motives, the IMA has overstepped its bounds on this campus. Yes, that comes across as pompous. Yes, that comes across as shallow. No, I don’t care. Due to excess funds found by the AFC, Tuesday night’s Student Senate meeting once again brought forward the issue of rush banners for the fraternity houses. This issue again caused a stir among senators. As I argued last week, the banners are an excellent idea and are necessary to improve rush this spring. Senator Jeremy Burton, however, disagreed. Upon his motion to strike the banners, discussion arose about necessity and “fairness” to independents. Someone presented the idea that the independent dorms should receive banners as well. Why? If a recruit goes on a tour of the college, the dorms are pointed out to them (fraternity houses are not). If they visit or are placed in a dorm during Honor Scholar Weekend, they surely know its location. Why else would someone need to know where the independent living units were located? Surely the independents on this campus are not planning on holding rush events during Honor Scholar. Surely the independents are not planning on discouraging prospectives from joining a fraternity. Surely, they do not think that being independent is anything besides the “other option” when one chooses against going Greek. Unfortunately all of these are, in fact, true. During a rush-related class project last semester, a number of independents in my class informed me that independents have been participating in what fraternities would refer to as “dirty rush,” discouraging certain houses, or any house at all, for students. Granted, fraternities are not for everyone. There needs to be an alternate form of student life on this campus where one can find the independence that he seeks. The IMA refutes this entire idea, one that is held true at other colleges with Greek systems. The result of their efforts? A huge decrease in fraternity numbers and a large number of “wish I would have” students, seeking to form a fraternitylike organization to compensate for their lapse in judgment. Last spring, the IMA held an event for prospectives during the fraternity rush over Honor Scholar. Are independents rushing now? Instead of serving as an alternate housing option, are they becoming an 11th fraternal organization? This movement has to stop. I am not opposed to the IMA providing entertainment for independent students. However, I do object when, because they are not a duescollecting organization like the fraternities or IFC, they seek help from the Student Senate for rush-related events and faculty dinners. The IMA does not need “rush” banners. We know where you are on campus. Greeks, Honor Scholar weekend is coming soon, and I would hate to see this turn into a battle for numbers between the IMA and IFC, but I fear it to be inevitable. Fraternity men of Wabash: stand up and take action. Most houses need better numbers, but we need better fraternity numbers as a whole too. Keep our customs, identity, pride, and loyalty as Greeks on this campus sacred, and most importantly, remind Wabash why we all entered into the bonds of real brotherhood. “During a rush-related class project last semester, a number of independents in my class informed me that independents have been participating in what fraternities would refer to as ‘dirty rush,’ discouraging certain houses, or any “house at all, for students.” STUFF PAGE 6 • THE BACHELOR FEBRUARY 9, 2006 Andreas Klein Plays Wabash Above: Internationally acclaimed pianist Andreas Klein arrived on campus the day before his concert to rehearse on the College’s new Steinway B piano. “"It’s important to find a good instrument because the best acoustics in a hall don’t really help you if the piano is not very good," Klein said. "You have to make friends with the instrument in a quick time, adapt to the situation." Left: Wabash alumnus John Failey ’72, his wife, Jill, and Wabash College President Andy Ford joined internationally acclaimed pianist Andreas Klein on the Salter Hall stage after the performance. STUFF FEBRUARY 9, 2006 THE BACHELOR • PAGE 7 Piano Acquisition Adds to Victory Steve Zusack [email protected] Above: Klein performed in Salter Hall Sunday afternoon works by Mozart, Schubert, and Beethoven. Below: Kyle Prifogle ’09 and David Herr ’09 talk with internationally acclaimed pianist Andreas Klein. The Wabash music department emphasizes three broad aspects of music: theory, history and performance. After the concert on the new Steinway concert grand piano on the 4th, it became very clear what the music department was shouting: “Victory.” Musical events on this campus have gone from zero to hero over the past few years. Average audience sizes over the last three years seem to have gone from fifteen to full house. More students, more faculty, and more community members are coming for every event. The concert with Andreas Klein needed tickets sold for it in order to control just how packed the audience became. The family day concert three years ago entertained about 30 audience members. Last semester it was “standing-room-only.” First semester my freshman year, the headlines read “Wamaduhwhat?” Spring semester last year they read, “Wamadan concert sold out!” The musical events on campus are becoming favorites of music fans and music experts alike. By offering a wide variety of musical genres in an increasing number of musical events, it is clear that the music department is accelerating off the map. With the purchase of the new 7’ Steinway B piano, every piano artist that comes to or through Wabash has access to a world-class instrument. The piano would retail for about $60,000. The Steinway offers artists a chance to have a light, responsive, and full sound for performances. In contrast, the music department also has a 9’ Boesendorfer concert grand. This piano is currently being restrung and having hammers replaced to improve its amazing sound. The Boesendorfer offers a booming powerhouse of sound combined with fast and articulate responsiveness to play. Both the new Steinway piano and the repair being done to the Boesendorfer are possible through an extremely generous donation made by John (’72) and Jill Failey. The two instruments will give artists a choice and ability to fit the instrument with each individual performance. In addition to these grand instruments, the music department has obtained several practice pianos over the years through other donations. As was seen in the concert on the Sunday, the music department has risen above and beyond. With the performance of a world class pianist on a new world class piano, with the increase of audience members over the years, and with the overall diverse field of expertise the music faculty offer, it is clear that the music department has good reason to shout, “Victory.” Photos By Steve Charles STUFF PAGE 8 • THE BACHELOR FEBRUARY 9, 2006 When A Stranger Calls and Just Annoys the Hell out of You Robert Fenoglio [email protected] When A Stranger Calls is a remake of the 1978 original cultclassic that featured one of the most famous horror movie lines, “Have you checked the children?” This remake is one of the worst movies I have seen in a long time and should be avoided at all costs. Jill Johnson, a 16 year-old track runner, has gone over her parents’ cell phone plan by 800 minutes and, as punishment, must baby-sit for a rich family in order to pay her parents back. (If Jill’s parents are lucky, the maniac will kill her so they do not have to worry about going over their minutes next month.) Baby-sitting as punishment is one of two only interesting things in this film. The exquisitely designed house is the other interesting tidbit. It recalls an Asian day-spa and not a place where a family would live yearlong. The house even has a miniature ecosystem in the living room, complete with a massive koi pond and some yellow birds. This movie is so atrocious I do not even know where to start. First off, kudos to Camilla Belle who plays Jill Johnson because she pretty much keeps the viewer interested in the film (which is saying a lot). When A Stranger Calls lacks the depth of some popular slasher flicks such as Scream and Saw, in that it offers no background on the killer and his motivations. I, personally, would like to know why he is killing teen girls and the children they baby-sit. Did he have a bad experience with a baby-sitter growing up? Did his baby-sitter rape him or make fun of him because he wets the bed? I want answers. Such information adds inter- est and texture to the film. The characters are so one-dimensional that when two of them are killed, nobody really cares. Speaking of killing, this film shows absolutely none. Where is the fun in that? I want to see blood get splattered or see a head get chopped off. In a day where films like Saw and Hostel are taking the number one spot at the box office and raising the bar for horror flicks and blood, why couldn’t this film at least show a little? The film tries too hard to have the viewer think of what could have happened to the victims, which in the end creates boredom, not fear. The biggest problem with Stranger is that it’s not actually scary. I did jump a few times, but it was because of the family cat. The actual killer is seen in the film for maybe ten minutes and produces absolutely no scares. The “action” scenes with Jill and the anonymous killer are “Did he have a bad experience with a baby-sitter growing up? Did his baby-sitter rape him or make fun of him because he wets the bed? I want answers.” not intense, but laughable. Jill tends to trip a lot on things in the house and even stumbles over the killer a few times. If she runs hurdles in track, she has such a good opportunity to practice and completely blows it. Jill also makes really stupid weapon decisions. At one point, she has to run out to the guesthouse and investigate, and instead of grabbing a knife while in the kitchen, she grabs a candlestick. Who are you? This isn’t Clue, sweetheart, wrong movie. In the end, the movie tends to annoy the viewer and drag on like a relentless telemarketer. You want it to end, but it just will not quit. Even the ending cannot save the film. I have no comment on the ending because there wasn’t one. I do not even know how to explain it because I am still confused. Either it was the infamous episode of “Dallas” where everything is not what it seemed, or it just set itself up for a sequel. I honestly could not tell you. Regardless, this movie needs to be a stranger to the public and stay on the donot-call list. STUFF FEBRUARY 9, 2006 PAGE 8 • THE BACHELOR The Golden Girls: A Postmodernist Critique Patrick J. Smith [email protected] In their seminal study of Franz Kafka, Deleuze and Guattari deal with what they call “a minor literature.” This is, as best as I understand it, a literature that – through subtext – subverts its own genre. In other words, it is a literature of deterritorialized signs. Everything is the same, but nothing is the same. This seems to be an apt metaphor for life in the 1980s. The resurgence of the upperclass aesthetic of the 1950s, albeit with a decidedly hedonistic subtext, presented a familiar world with an unfamiliar grammar. One such bastard-child of this deeply confused milieu was the television program The Golden Girls. The best way to explain the show is Sex and the City with sexagenarians. However, that misses the point. First of all, Estelle Getty’s character was supposed to be in her eighties, but that is being a bit pedantic about things. The heart of the matter is the fact that a collection of aging dowagers and divorcees lived relatively independent lives. Clearly, the elderly are not as helpless as Wilford Brimley would have one believe. The feminist implications of the show are clear, and – as such – trivial. While I am writing a postmodernist critique of The Golden Girls, I do not want to delve into such meta-trivialities. If my word count needs a quick boost, I might. However, the feminist and age angles are necessary for my thesis (if I ever state one), so I cannot dismiss them entirely. If you want to do so, you might as well go read the cartoons. They will be funnier and more interesting than women, things fall apart – apologies to Yeats. The familiar and friendly sign of the photoplay on the idiot-box becomes new and different. However, any small child can see that nothing has changed. The sign is deterritorialized. The Golden Girls is not the formulaic, slightly trite thirty minutes of zingers and feelings that it wants the audience to see. It is minor literature, translated on to the rest of this article. A television show about four relatively independent people, beating the odds, is just a variation on one of the most tired formulae in television. However, when those people are aging the television. The show subverts the traditional sitcom by transgressing one key barrier: gender. No one looked askance at The Odd Couple, despite an undercurrent of repressed rage and self-destructive hygiene The best way to explain the show is Sex and the City with sexagenarians. problems. Men are allowed to live together by themselves. It is pure auto-affection, as outlined in Derrida’s De la grammatologie, the affection that each man derives from being able to do as he pleases. It is the same affection that the viewers derive from seeing people just like them act out without a super-ego. Of course, this brings us to one of the problems Deleuze and Guattari created and dealt with in A Thousand Plateaus. What happens to a sign disconnected from its regime? To make an end-run, the women are becoming-minor. In their universe, they are an absolute majority. In reality, they are a minority. They belong to their stereotypes: the wisecracking cynic, the vain fashionista, the daft nice-person, and the acerbic matriarch. They are becomingminor unto themselves. However, most people are not sixty-year-old dowagers and divorcees. There is something new and unfamiliar about a minor variation on a major theme. The presence of the unknown (what do women do when there is nothing to do?) subverts this tried-and-true formula. The idiot-box, a trusted friend, becomes a confusing herald of signs that have no real connection. The minor literature on the television is a problem. The menacing and seductive allure of television forces the viewer to make intertextual references to other, similar shows. However, there is never a similar show. This minor literature has subverted television. This subversive element has reduced the fascism of vision to a deep confusion. Everyone is becoming-minor now. Here comes everybody. This is our last dance. We are forced into a realm where nothing is what it seems, but it is precisely the same thing we have seen everyday. The television belongs to the sign it transmits. It becomes-minor. The Golden Girls is the most subversive television show in the history of the medium. It takes the terra firma of the photoplay and moves it on to a thin tissue of surreality. We all become-minor when we watch The Golden Girls. Even the mighty sign of television is deterritorialized with witty banter and drecky emotion. Bea Arthur is pretty cool, too. This cartoon was originally intended to run in last week’s issue. STUFF PAGE 10 • THE BACHELOR FEBRUARY 9, 2006 Brokeback Mountain Perfect for Valentine’s Day Tony Lewis [email protected] We’ve all gone to a hyped-up movie and been disappointed, expecting a well-written, welldirected, and well-acted film but ended up going home eight dollars poorer and rather upset. Luckily, Brokeback Mountain, with all that has been said, actually lived up to the hype. If anything, I would have to say that the movie was not given its due. Many of the lines in the movie, “Why can’t I quiet you?” for example has been taken out of context and made to sound corny. However, within the context of the movie, it is a very powerful line that doesn’t hit your ears like nails on a chalkboard. With everything that the press has said about the movie, we all know the story. Two ranch hands, Ennis Del Mar (Heath Ledger) and Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal), spend the summer herding sheep in the Brokeback Mountains. During the course of the summer they begin a rela- tionship that is abruptly put on hold once the summer ends. They don’t see each other for the next four or five years, during which time they get married and have children. However, after this long hiatus, they resume a clandestine, twenty-year relationship with one another. At the beginning of their relationship, Jack suggests that they leave their families and live together, but Ennis is afraid of the wrath of society and his own family’s well-being. In the end, the inability to be with one another on a permanent basis strains their relationship and their lives. In many ways, it is one of the best gay-interest movies ever made. Many gay-interest films tend to deal with hustlers, drugs, or are so badly written that they are painful to watch. This movie, beyond its status as ground-breaking film, is also well written. The writers were able to take a ten-page story and turn it into a film with so many layers; it requires multiple viewings to catch even half of them. One of the other films, in this genre, to achieve this level of sophistication, is the 1987 Merchant-Ivory film Maurice starring Hugh Grant and James Wilby. It is based upon the E.M. Forster novel of the same name, that was one of the first gayinterest novels to have a happy ending. Written in 1914, it was posthumously published in 1970 because of the stigma attached to homosexuality at that time. This was achieved, partly due to Merchant and Ivory’s ability to create quality films, and E.M. Forster’s tight prose. Maurice is about two men, Maurice Hall (James Wilby) and Clive Durham (Hugh Grant), who begin a romantic relationship while attending Oxford University. However, due to societal pressures, Clive breaks it off and marries a woman he meets while on vacation. Eventually Maurice falls in love with another man named Alec Scudder (Rupert Graves) and gives up his position in society to be with him. Like Brokeback Mountain, this movie has many different layers and raises multiple issues that may not be apparent upon initial viewings. It questions the English class system of that time, champions the validity of homosexual love, and examines the nature of true love-among other things. Brokeback Mountain tackles many of the same issues, specifically in the way that it attempts to validate homosexual love and examines the nature of love. Are these two men in love with each other or is it simply sexual? One of the biggest issues raised in the film is whether Jack and Ennis are actually homosexuals. After they sleep with one another for the first time, they both contend that they are straight, yet continue their relationship. Later, they marry women, have children, and initially seem happy, except for their longing for one another. Are they simply doing what society expects them to do by getting married, or were they actually in love with their wives? I think one of the main motives for creating this film was to argue for making one’s sexuality inconsequential. I believe Brokeback Mountain was meant to show audiences that a person’s sexuality is not black and white, that there are many shades of grey. Beyond its function as a brilliant marketing ploy, Ang Lee’s desire to call this a love story, not a gay love story, was a way of making homosexual love commonplace in society, a way of legitimizing the love between Ennis and Jack. This might be the reason why this movie is such a big date movie for heterosexual and homosexual couples alike. Perhaps heterosexual couples see the same love they have for one another in the homosexual relationship between Ennis and Jack. Perhaps the love between two men isn’t as far removed from that between a man and a woman. All-in-all, it is a first rate movie that deserves all of the accolades it is receiving. Check it out with the one you love for Valentine’s Day! Caveman to Gentleman Steve Egan [email protected] Ever since the first caveman smashed a bunch of grapes, let it sit for a couple of days, and then took a sip, men having been battling the ancient curse of hangovers. When that caveman woke up with the Stone Age equivalent of a lampshade on his head, he felt much the same way that we do today after a long night of decadence. Some see the hangover as the penalty you must pay for your overindulgence, while others bear it proudly as the badge of debauchery well done. Whatever way we look at hangovers, we need a way to feel good enough to drink again. The French call it wooden throat and the Swedes copper hammering. There are all sorts of strange names and cures for the hangover, some that make a bit more sense than others. Haitians use voodoo. By sticking thirteen black pins into the cork of their bottle they scare away the evil spirits sure to haunt them in the morning. Those in Birmingham will tell you eating a fried canary or two will help to ease the symptoms. Some even say that eating dried jackrabbit droppings is the way to go. These solutions are well and good, but Wallies need some real answers. Hangovers are caused by the impurities in the spirits we sometimes imbibe a bit excessively. These impurities include substances like methanol and acetone. Prohibition alcohol was almost all methanol, which is why it was notorious for causing blindness. To reduce the amount of these chemicals going into your system, throw a few extra bucks into the hat and splurge on a little more expensive bottle of granddad’s old cough medicine. Cheaper liquor usually has a higher percentage of these harmful chemicals. Maybe you don’t have the few extra bones to throw down. Clear alcoholic beverages like gin and vodka usually have a lower percentage of impurities. The same goes for white wine over red. So if you haven’t got the cash buy your hooch like you hope to have your head in the morning, go clear. The headache you get from the blinding light and piercing noise is caused by the cells in your brain going through withdrawal from the alcohol. The dilating of your blood vessels, also caused by alcohol, only intensifies the suffering. Your body can burn about half an ounce of pure alcohol in an hour. Enzymes in your stomach convert the alcohol, which later gets into the bloodstream. Women have less of this enzyme as do Japanese and Native American men, causing them all to get drunk quicker. To slow the absorption of alcohol the best suggestion is to nurse your drink slowly. If, due to peer pressure, this is not a possibility, try to drink on a full stomach. Diluting your drinks is another option that will slow your absorption. This option will probably make you look like a sissy-man though so instead try to chug a glass of water between drinks. Alcohol is a diuretic, which is another reason to drink more water. At the very least have glass before you go out and leave a glass on your nightstand for when you get back. Along with the glass of water, leave a Hershey’s bar for yourself. Not only will you be stoked that someone left you a candy bar, but sugar also seems to help. This doesn’t work so well if your uncivilized activity tends toward the chaotic and you never know where you’re going to end up sleeping at the end of you night. Once into your bed if the room is still spinning put one foot on the ground, at the very least it will slow the room down. Alcohol disrupts, among other body rhythms, your sleep patterns. This will give you the feeling of jet lag when you wake up. So don’t feel bad about staying in bed a few extra hours. If you should triumph over adversity and get out of bed in the post meridian hours of the day, make yourself a light breakfast high in carbohydrates and fructose. Toast and honey is an easy standby. Steer clear of the coffee and tea as they will only further dehydrate you. So as these next few weekends find you I hope that so too does this article. Party on. SPORTS FEBRUARY 9, 2006 THE BACHELOR • PAGE 11 Track Excels Against NAIA Competition Ashley Stephen news editor This past Saturday, the Little Giant track team traveled to Illinois Wesleyan University in Bloomington, Illinois to compete in the Titan Open. Freshman Wade Heiny, competing in his first collegiate meet, finished 5th in the 55-meter hurdles. In the 200-meter dash, several Wabash athletes competed. Sophomores Mike Russell and Bart Banach had the top performances for the Little Giants, finishing 10th and 12th, respectively. Junior Nathan Bates won his section with a time of 50.76 seconds on the way to 3rd place overall in the 400-meter dash. His performance earned him the NCAC Sprinter of the Week. In the 800-meter run, sophomore Tim Rickard was the lone Little Giant participant. Running the race for the first time ever, Rickard won his section and earned 19th place overall. “It was awesome,” Rickard said of his victorious experience in the 800. “I’d do it again.” In the mile run, sophomore Geoff Lambert, running the race for the first time this season, earned an 8th-place overall finish while freshman Hugh Jackson posted a 13th-place overall finish for the Little Giants. Sophomore Ben Bly and senior Ethan Paul had outstanding performances in the 5000-meter run. Bly pulled away from the field to take 1stplace in a time of 15:45.59, while Paul crossed the finish line in 4th-place. In honor of his winning performance, Bly earned NCAC Distance Runner of the Week. In the 4x400-meter relay, the team of Bart Banach, Mike Russell, Nathan Bates, and Geoff Lambert found themselves in a very competitive race. Finishing 2.62 seconds behind first, the Little Giants finished 4th, a mere 0.02 seconds ahead of the 5th-place team. The field events were very successful for the Little Giants. Mike Russell finished 4th in the long jump and tied with freshman Andrew Rode for 5th in the high jump. Sophomore Nelson Barre took 8th place in the pole vault. While in the final event of the day, junior Ben Tritle and sophomore John Tsintis finished 4th and 9th, respectively. This weekend the Wabash track team travels to DePauw to compete in the Tiger Invitational. The following weekend the Little Giants return home to compete in the Wabash Indoor Open. As the team looks ahead to the North Coast Athletic Conference Championships in three weeks, the Little Giants currently have some of the conference’s top performances. In the 55-meter dash, Bart Banach is tied for the top time, while freshman Ja’Michael Hill is tied for the 5th-best time. While in the 200-meter dash, Mike Russell and Banach have the 2nd- and 3rd-best times, respectively. In the 400-meter dash, Nathan Bates, the defending conference champion, has the top time, while Tim Rickard has the 4th-best time. In the 800-meter run, Geoff Lambert, the defending conference champion, has the top time. Lambert also has the top time in the mile run. In the 5000-meter run, junior Dennis Frazee has the 7thbest time. Wade Heiny has the 2nd-best time in the 55-meter hurdles, while teammate and fellow freshman Arthur Banks has the 8th-best time. In the high jump, Andrew Rode is tied for the 3rd-best height, while Mike Russell is tied for the 7th-best. In the long jump, Russell has the 6thbest distance. In the shot put, Ben Tritle has 7th-best distance. Wabash has the top times in all three relays – the 4x200, the 4x400, and the distance medley – run at the conference meet. With such good performances at this point in the season, the Little Giants are well-situated to challenge defending champion Allegheny at the NCAC Championships on March 3rd and 4th. PHOTO BY JEFF SOSTAK The football team recieved their NCAC championship rings last Saturday during halftime of a 92-80 Wabash win over Denison. The class of ‘06 is the winningest football class in Wabash history. Russ Harbaugh also recieved his NCAC Offensive Player of the Year award at this time. The Indianapolis Association of Wabash Men Says Good luck to swimming at NCAC Championships W Good luck to track at DePauw Good luck to wrestling at Midstates Good luck to basketball at Wooster Good luck to tennis this weekend WABASH ALWAYS FIGHTS! SPORTS THE BACHELOR • PAGE 12 • FEBRUARY 9, 2006 Wabash Wins Thriller Over Earlham in Overtime Aaron Parrish sports editor Photo by Steve Abbott Kyle Medeiros drives around Earlham’s Neil Collins. Medeiros had 7 points, 2 assists, and 4 rebounds. Caleb Lyttle and Gary Simkus led the team with 15 points each. To start the week, the Little Giants had two things written up on their whiteboard. One was a message saying “To host [opening round of the NCAC tournament] for the fifth straight year, Wednesday is a must win!” The other simply listed the records for both Wabash and Earlham: 7-5 each. Before last night’s game, Wabash and Earlham were tied for fourth in the NCAC, behind national number 1 Wooster team, a national number 6 Wittenberg team, and 9-3 NCAC Ohio Wesleyan team. The top four teams would host an opening round game in the NCAC tournament. The two teams came out and played up to the importance of the game. In the first half, Earlham’s LaRon Henry had 14 points, but his team trailed 32-30 after a balanced Wabash effort. The second half was a different story, though. Through the first ten minutes of the second half, Wabash scored only 6 points compared to Earlham’s 18. Wabash would get down by as much as ten points. At roughly the ten minute mark, Wabash sent in fresh players in Kyle Coffey, Jimmy Owens, Earl Rooks, and Ryan Stephens. This was the group that jump-started the comeback. It took some time, but Earl Rooks hit a three with about two minutes to go to finally tie the game. The Quakers would build a small lead after this, only to have it cut to one with 18.5 seconds to go. This is when the fun started. Wabash has only three games left in the regular season. Earlham had two free throws coming, of which it missed the first. After a time out, the Quakers put in the second free throw, giving them a two-point lead. Wabash turned the ball over on their next possession and was forced to foul right away, giving the Quakers another two free throws, this time with 9 seconds. The first three throw was good this time, giving Earlham a three-point lead. The second free throw rolled out, and Coffey pulled down the rebound. He kicked the ball to Owens, who dribbled to the top of the key and swished a fade-away three to tie the game up at 61 as the buzzer sounded. Coffey won the opening tip of overtime and it started off a back and forth battle. With 2 minutes to go in overtime, Rooks hit a trey to put the Little Giants up by 2, and the team never looked back. Earlham shot numerous free throws, but couldn’t connect. Coffey had three of his five rebounds in overtime. When the final buzzer sounded, the Little Giants came out on top, 72-66. Earlham managed only five points in the overtime. Wabash has only three games left in the regular season. The Little Giants’ next game is next Saturday at Wooster. Next Wednesday Wabash will face Wittenberg here at Chadwick, followed by a game at Kenyon on February 18.
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