Peacemaking
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
Matthew 5:9
Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.
Ro 14:19
For God is not a God of disorder but of peace.
1Co 14:33
Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
Eph 4:3
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body
you were called to peace. Col 3:15
Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness. Jas 3:18
Review of Conflict Styles
Forcing – getting your way (KYRG)
Avoiding – pretend conflict does not exist
Compromising – reach agreement quickly
Accommodating – don’t upset adversaries
Collaboration – solve the problem together
When is each appropriate?
When is each inappropriate?
Peacemakers will…
• Challenge to openness
• Acknowledge but control emotional
• Promote mutual understanding
• Identify mutual interests - shared fate, super-ordinate goals
• Respect the parties
• Minimize power differentials
Not to blame
• Identify criteria for acceptable solution
But to resolve
• Seek creative solution(s)
• Gain commitment for implementation
No blood on the floor
Interpersonal Peacemaking 1Samuel 25
Background: David's men, having provided protection for Nabal's flocks and property,
seek portion as was traditional after the shearing. Nabal refuses to provide for David's
men.
Nabal:
• I don't know David. Contempt.
RUDE REJECTION
• Lots of servants are out from under authority these days.
• Why should I take the bread, water and meat of my servants and give it to strangers?
Not politically astute…talking to next king of Israel
David:
• We didn't mistreat your servants.
• We didn't steal.
• Feed us at this festive time.
• Felt unjustly treated for protection given.
Two Issues:
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Substantive – David’s men provided service which added value for Nabal for
which traditional compensation was expected – but denied by Nabal
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Emotional
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Rich Nabal would not respond to request of a country boy rebel
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David, powerful leader wanting to provide for his men, was shown contempt,
failed to provide for his followers, lost face
Clash of egos escalates a transactional incident to emotional level murderous conflict.
Lavish feast shows more contempt. Nabal had the means to reward David’s men.
David's WRONG response - Anger, Vengeance
“May God deal with David (me), be it ever so severely, if by morning I leave alive one
male of all who belong to him!"
Why is this so foolish?
Abigail’s Qualifications and Actions as a Peacemaker
• Intelligent - Recognized: danger (“…disaster is hanging over our master and his whole household.”),
contempt of Nabal, justice/fairness issue, God’s role for David, need to intervene, means of intervention,
risk, don’t tell a drunk important things, humility, vulnerability, reason, anticipated that God would
enthrone David, value of David’s reputation, impact on future of kingdom
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Beautiful (not relevant to this part of the story)
Wife of a rich man
Lived with a surly, mean husband, wicked man no one can talk to, Fool
Had open communications with her servants
Un-named servant spoke to Abigail about the incident
Understood men and their emotions (egos)
Recognized consequences of others’ behaviour (both Nabal and David)
Thought through the issue
Knew not to tell Nabal what she was doing
Made appropriate preparations
Took action quickly
Exercised what authority she had (assembling appeasement gift)
Put herself at risk
Respectful - let me speak, may you hear
Gained David’s trust
Brought “compensation” food for David’s men
Humbled herself – took the blame
Identified the issue
Acknowledged David’s case
Used reason to appeal to David
Introduced the intentions of God
Acknowledge God’s intentions for David
Showed concern for David’s conscience and reputation
“Let no wrongdoing be found in you”
Used by God who SENT her David’s words
Good judgment
Knew not to tell Nabal when he was drunk (cannot reason)
Requests - Please forgive the offence
Remember your servant when you're successful
Interpersonal Peacemaking 1Samuel 25
RESULTS
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Response
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David praises God*** “Lord, God of Israel’
recognizes that God sent Abigail
God’s messenger kept David from bloodshed
Spared Abigail, Nabal and household- and Nabal's whole household
Forgave offence
David backed off his oath of vengeance (hard for a leader to do)
God struck Nabal (David didn't need to!)
Abigail became David’s 3rd wife – not a very romantic proposal
LESSONS
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Acting emotionally in conflict will end badly
David did not consult God about this issue
Vengeance is the Lord’s but David was going to do it himself
God cared enough to intervene
God used someone who was available and willing – at some risk to herself
Situations like this need a wise person with a level head
Abigail appealed to reason
Identified David’s negative consequences
God dealt with Nabal David did not need to
What can we apply from these lessons?
Acts 15 – Council at Jerusalem
Background:
• Some men came to Antioch claiming that Gentiles could not be
saved unless they conformed to the custom taught by Moses by
being circumcised.
• “Troubled you with words, subverting your souls” (15:24 AV)
• Sharp dispute and debate from Paul and Barnabus.
• Leaders referred matter to apostles and elders in Jerusalem.
• Appointed Paul and Barnabus and some others to go.
• The issue, superficially the precipitating issue was circumcision as a
condition of salvation, substantively it was "Gentile inclusion" and
everyone keeping the Law of Moses.
Discussion
• What could have motivated the Judaisers?
• What could have motivated the leaders in Antioch?
• What was at stake?
The meeting was chaired by James, the leading elder of Jerusalem.
1. OPEN FORUM
2. INPUT FROM BOTH SIDES
3. CREDENTIALS OF DISPUTANTS VERIFIED reported God’s work among Gentiles
4. JAMES IDENTIFIES WITH THE PEOPLE (men, brethren, we)
5. ACKNOWLEDGES SOVEREIGNTY OF GOD (1st Cause)
6. DEFERS TO SCRIPTURE (Prophesy fulfilled in Gentiles)
7. CONFIRM WITH EVIDENCE FROM MINISTRY AMONG GENTILES
8. JAMES ASSUMES RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE DECISION
8. NO POSTPONING
9. NO EQUIVOCATING
10. NO CIRCUMCISION - Addresses precipitating issue
11. NO SIN (LAW OF MOSES)
12. NO PARTIALITY
13. NO MISINTERPRETATION - send witnesses
14. NO CONFUSION - document the decision in a letter
15. DISASSOCIATE FROM FALSE TEACHING
16. 1st CAUSE ------> PRINCIPLES ------> SPECIFIC ISSUE
God
Salvation through
circumcision
faith/grace
law keeping
not emotions Judaizers without authorisation
not personalities
not tradition
17. COMMUNICATION with CLARITY + VALIDATION - messengers + letter
18. VALIDATE MESSENGERS – risked lives for our Lord Jesus Christ
19. ACKNOWLEDGE ROLE OF HOLY SPIRIT makes it a God-thing
20. GATHERED THE CHURCH TOGETHER to hear the decision
21. EXHORT – 4 UNEQUIVOCAL PROHIBITIONS concession to Judaizers?
22. ENCOURAGED AND STRENGTHENED
Acts 15 – Council at Jerusalem
RESULTS
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CONFLICT RESOLVED
REJOICED for the CONSOLATION 15:31 AV
RELIEVED and PLEASED 15:31 NIV
CONFIRMED THEM 15:32 AV
STRENGTHENED words of courage and hope
TRUST
• for the process
• for James (James, the Just)
• UNITY - Antioch, Jerusalem and other regions
NOTE: James moved the dispute from a win-lose
conflict to a win-win situation.
Removes uncertainty
LESSONS
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Differences will occur
Change is challenging and will be resisted
Unresolved disputes will divide the church
Openness of the process appointment of trusted people
Hear both sides
Settle disputes decisively
Get closure
Communicate the outcome with clarity
Help it to “soak in” by reinforcing the message –
confirmed
What can we apply from this case?
Structured Approach
Separate Ask them each to create 2 lists
how they see themselves
how they see the other(s)
Together. Share the perceptions
Separate again.
what do you contribute to the difficulty?
what can you contribute to a solution?
Together. Craft solution and implementation
Biblical Principles
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God has a master plan
God has given us assignments that must have priority
Anything that interferes with God’s plan must be dealt with
For the Body of Christ, Love and Unity are essential (i.e., NOT optional)
Everyone is responsible and accountable for Peace
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you,
live at peace with everyone.” Ro 12:18
Good Resource
“The Peacemaker: A biblical Guide” by Ken Sande, Peacemaker Ministries
Next Time
• Dealing with dangerous people
• Forgiveness - its role in conflict
• Overview of Conflict Resolution