October 30, 2015 ⋄ Issue #34
Today is the ProAm fundraiser at The Bridge Club. This fundraiser
marks the start of a new capital campaign. Bridge attendance has
exploded and in response the Board has decided to finish the second
floor. The second floor will increase Bridge Club capacity by 75
tables. The new Who Lived In A Shoe jazz club also will be on the
second floor.
A ProAm duplicate bridge game is where the field is divided in two, with the higher master point
players (the Pros) separated from the lower point players (the Ams). Pairs are formed with one Pro
and one Am. In a fundraising ProAm, the Pros are ranked by cumulative master points and their
names are projected on screens throughout The Bridge Club. The Ams in order pick their partner
based on who has donated the most money for the event.
Our Pro favorites, the Damsel In Distress and Her Knight In Shining Armor, are each paired to an
Am with heaping gobs of potential, both bridge and otherwise. Professor Heracles, the university's
new expert on Greek and Latin classical literature, selected the Damsel In Distress. Through one
hand of the duplicate, he has done nothing to diminish the potential of his tall athletic frame. Lydia,
the beautiful female bridge student who selected the Knight, has been able to draw attention to her
brain by way of a flamboyant unblock where she jettisoned an ace from dummy so she could run a
long suit in her hand.
Damsel is jealous of Lydia. Lydia is beautiful, but Damsel is famously beautiful. Lydia is a very
fine bridge player, but Damsel is a great player. Lydia is bridge partnering tonight with hunky,
heroic Knight In Shining Armor, but Damsel is married to him and shares their bed. Lydia has a one
board lead in tonight's duplicate standings, and Damsel does not yet have an answer for it. See? Her
jealousy makes perfect sense.
The four combatants pick up and sort their cards. Damsel has a bland 10 HCP hand with no
biddable suit. She says, "Pass."
The Knight has nothing. He says, "Pass." Then
Heracles opens a strong, "One no trump." Lydia
interferes at, "Two spades." Damsel puts an end
to the auction with, "Three no trump."
Lydia leads the K♠, the only lead that threatens
the contract. Damsel lays down her cards in
dummy, and verbally wishes her partner well.
Silently she is worried. The contract probably
makes only if Heracles can run clubs.
Professor Hetacles looks over the combined cards
and can count one spade, two hearts, one diamond, and five clubs. But there is one problem both
small and large. Dummy's spot cards in clubs are very low but his spot cards in clubs are all higher.
Why is this a problem? A 2-2 split in clubs has a 41% probability on this deal. If clubs are so
divided, Heracles can play K♣ (1), then the Q♣ (2), then the 9♣ (3) from his hand, winners all,
before leading the 8♣ to dummy's A♣ (4) and 7♣ (5). But if clubs break 3-1, a 50% probability, then
his 9♣ won't be good at trick 3. He'll have to win with the ace, then his 8♣ in hand will block him
from returning to the fifth club in dummy. If only Lydia wasn't leading the K♠ to knock out his only
other entry to dummy. But then she has already shown herself to be a fine player.
What can he do? He needs to solve this so as to please his Pro partner and to answer Lydia's
impressive play on the previous hand.
Seeing nothing better, he ducks Lydia's opening lead both on dummy and in his hand. Lydia now
leads the Q♠, smothering his J♠. Then the solution comes to him. He also ducks this lead both on
dummy and in his hand. Now he has the A♠ on which to pitch his 8♣. The club suit is no longer
blocked and he can overcome a 3-1 break in clubs.
Lydia is first, "Well done, Heracles. Your jettison play was not at all obvious, and was a bit slow to
develop. Very impressive." Damsel and Knight both murmur their assent. And Damsel thinks to
herself, Game on. Heracles has bridge talent.
Unfortunately these four are destined to finish tied for second place place in this fund raising ProAm
duplicate. Bob the Showoff and his partner roll to a 70+% game mostly because his partner, the rich
and beautiful Julianna, shows her bridge talent repeatedly throughout the contest.
Because Damsel and Knight finish in a tie, neither can claim the wager of two months of foot rubs.
They no doubt will work something out.
Many thanks to Omar Sharif for inspiring this deal.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Questions or comments? Email me at [email protected], or text me at 419-575-4513.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------In total there are 53,644,737,765,488,792,839,237,440,000 (or 53.6 octillion) different bridge deals
possible, which is equal to 52!/(13!)^4. The deal presented in this issue of The Rueful Rabbit is but
one of them. Bridge deals are not subject to copyright protection, but what is written about any
bridge deal can be copyrighted.
Stuff
This column/blog is titled The Rueful Rabbit. It is my way of paying homage to Victor Mollo for his
humorous bridge stories. In The Rueful Rabbit I offer my own humorous bridge stories.
Many characters from classical literature and folklore are bridge addicts, and their stories appear in
The Rueful Rabbit. The Knight In Shining Armor, Damsel In Distress, Black Knight, Big Bad Wolf
and pack wolves, Little Red Riding Hood, 3 house building pigs, 3 blind mice and the Farmer's
Wife, Little Bo Peep and her sheep, and Chicken Little, are characters from long ago folklore. Papa
Pig the Hand Hog is a fictional character, as are the Terminator, Bob the Showoff and Rude Ruthie.
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David Albrecht plays bridge in Franklin, TN, USA.
The stories told in this issue of The Rueful Rabbit are copyrighted © 2015, by David Albrecht.
David Albrecht, Ph.D.
Author, blogger, bridge player, professor
Bio: https://www.linkedin.com/in/profalbrecht
945 Hwy 438; Centerville, TN, 37033
[email protected]
419-575-4513