December 3, 2015 ⋄ Issue #38
The ruffing guillotine
"Have you heard that dark chocolate is good for
you? Some are touting it as the new health
food." Red, the stunning beauty with auburn
hair who looks so fine in riding hood and boots,
likes to stir things up. "I like it in cold cashew
milk."
Responds Bricks, her stout lover, "Chocolate
doesn't appeal to me unless it's laced with sugar
and milk, as in milk chocolate. But I've heard
this mix isn't good for you."
Knight In Shining Armor, "Bridge and a perfect-fit partner to play with are always good for you.
And you don't need chocolate." "But chocolate doesn't hurt," they all agree.
Damsel In Distress, "It's almost time for the afternoon duplicate. Knight, do you have any words of
bridge wisdom to share before we head over to our table?"
Knight offers up, "There is nothing genteel about a ruffing finesse. In sports there are power plays
and finesse plays. But a ruffing finesse has all the subtlety of a French Guillotine. Declarer advances
a second best card and top of a sequence through an exposed opponent. If the opponent covers, then
a trump lops off that best card. Other cards in that sequence are now winners."
Red agrees, "The only thing worse than being the victim of one ruffing finesse is being the victim of
two ruffing finesses. Yech." "I'll double that."
Damsel muses, "I feel pretty much the same way whether I'm the victim of a trump coup or a ruffing
finesse."
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Bricks responds, "Think so? I hope you don't have to experience either any time soon. I hope none
of us do." Little did any of them know that they were going to experience both during the first round
of the duplicate.
The director's seeding calls for Knight and Damsel to face Red and Bricks at center table for the first
round of the duplicate.
Although a dozen video cameras are capturing center table from every possible angle1, and the feed
is piped directly to the wall sized flat screen in Bucksnort's Beverage and Chocolate Café, kibitzers
are rushing to claim a prime chair in the tiered seating surrounding center table. When everyone is
seated, the four contestants reach toward the rack to pull out their cards for the first board.
Damsel (South) picks up a weak two suiter and
passes. Red (West) opens one spade with 11
cards in the majors. Knight (North) has 16 HCP
with a singleton in spades. He doubles. Bricks
(East) passes.
Damsel doesn't have enough strength to jump,
and is content to bid two diamonds. When
Knight invites to the diamond game, Damsel is
eager to bid it.
Red leads the ♠A (0-1) to start the play. What is
Damsel's line of play? She intends to draw
trumps and then set up spades via the ruffing
finesse. How rich! Red would twice be
subjected to the ruffing guillotine.
At trick two, Red switches to the ♣J. It wins
(0-2) when low cards are played around. A club
continuation is ruffed (1-2) by Damsel in the
closed hand. Two rounds of trump are won on
dummy, a third round is won by Damsel's hand
(now 4-2).
Expecting Red to have both the ♠K and ♠10 for her bid, Damsel leads the ♠72. When Red ducks,
Damsel pitches a club. Bricks follows low (5-2). Damsel leads the ♠8. Red covers with the ♠10 and
Damsel ruffs on dummy (6-2). The first of the two better cards has been lopped off. The ♥A is won
1
A camera is positioned in under the table to catch kicks to partner's shins.
Leading the ♠J would have been a sounder lead in case East had the ♠10 remaining, but it would not have
produced the same emotion inside Red.
2
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on dummy (7-2), then the ♥K in Damsel's hand (8-2). Red covers with the ♠A when Damsel leads
the ♠9, and dummy ruffs (9-2). It is the second lopping. Damsel then ruffs dummy's last club (10-2)
to get back to her hand and the good ♠J (11-2).
"Sorry I did that to you, Red," apologized Damsel.
"No problem, at least it was only spade honors getting lopped off. I'll return the favor as soon as I
can."
[This deal was part of ACBL District 9's December, 2015 Common Game.]
Taking coup
The players take their cards for the next board, the deal having rotated from Damsel In Distress to
Red with the Riding Hood. With a very strong seven card diamond suit and three of the top four
clubs, Red (West) is thinking slam. Her opening bid
is, "One diamond." Bricks responds, "One heart."
Red shows her length and strength with a jump to,
"Three diamonds." Bricks, a disciple of the principle
of fast arrival, jumps to, "Six no trump," unmakeable
with a heart lead. Bypassing an easier to play seven
clubs contract, Red saves Bricks's bacon by bidding,
"Seven diamonds."
Knight's lead of ♥K is ducked around to Red's ♦5
(1-0). Leading two top trumps (3-0) reveals
Damsel's original trump holding of four to the Jack.
Thinks Red, She has a natural trump trick. Wouldn't
it be poetic or cosmic or tit-for-tat justice if I could
take it away with a trump coup? Of course it would.
She leads a spade to dummy's ♠A (4-0), and returns a
small heart to ruff with her ♦7 (5-0). She notices
Knight dropping the ♥10. She follows with another
low spade to dummy's ♠K (6-0). When she ruffs
dummy's final low heart (7-0), she is pleased to see
Knight drop the ♥Q. She now knows that Damsel
started with four diamonds, five hearts, two spades,
and two other black cards. If she can get back to the board, then she has discards coming on
Dummy's two good hearts. She can get back to the board as long as Damsel has at least one club.
She leads the ♣Q to dummy's ♣K (8-0), and is thrilled to see Damsel follow. She leads the ♥A (9-0)
and discards a high club. She leads the ♥J (10-0) discarding another high club. She now leads the
good ♠Q and lets it ride without ruffing when Damsel follows.(11-0). At trick 12, she leads the good
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♣10 from the board, and takes the last two tricks because her ♦Q-10 sits over Damsel's ♦J-9. She has
executed a trump coup at the seven level, and paid back Damsel for the ruffing guillotine..
"Sorry I did that to you, Damsel," apologized Red.
"Not very, I'm sure. But I know I had it coming."
"Payback is sweet, but not as good as chocolate." With that they laugh and get up for the next round.
Many thanks
I appreciate that 18 bridge clubs around the world have subscribed to The Rueful Rabbit so it can be
forwarded to all their members. The largest of these clubs has over 1,000 members, the smallest has
29.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Questions or comments? Email me at [email protected], or text me at 419-575-4513.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------In total there are 53,644,737,765,488,792,839,237,440,000 (or 53.6 octillion) different bridge deals
possible, which is equal to 52!/(13!)^4. The deals presented in this issue of The Rueful Rabbit are
but two of them. Bridge deals are not subject to copyright protection, but what is written about any
bridge deal can be copyrighted.
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Stuff
This column/blog is titled The Rueful Rabbit. It is my way of paying homage to Victor Mollo for his
humorous bridge stories. In The Rueful Rabbit I offer my own humorous bridge stories.
Many characters from nursery rhymes and folklore are bridge addicts, and their stories appear in The
Rueful Rabbit. The Knight In Shining Armor, Damsel In Distress, Black Knight, Big Bad Wolf,
Little Red Riding Hood, 3 house building pigs, Farmer's Wife, Little Bo Peep, and Chicken Little,
are characters from long ago. The Terminator is a fictional character, as are Bob the Showoff and his
female students from <http://beautifulwomenwhowantbridgelessons.com>.
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David Albrecht plays bridge in Franklin, TN, USA.
The stories told in this issue of The Rueful Rabbit are copyrighted © 2015 by David Albrecht.
David Albrecht, Ph.D.
Author, blogger, bridge player, professor
Bio: https://www.linkedin.com/in/profalbrecht
945 Hwy 438; Centerville, TN, 37033
[email protected]
1-419-575-4513
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