Self-Control: A Spiritual
Reinforcement
“But also for this very reason… to knowledge selfcontrol, to self-control perseverance, to
perseverance godliness…”
II Peter 1:5-7
Before you begin leading your child through this study on self-control, spend time alone
with God interceding for His help.
Parents’ Prayer
Jesus, You, are the Lord of self-control. Satan tempted You to flaunt Your power, to show
off and to indulge Your appetite. But You were “full of the Holy Spirit” and used Scripture
to rebuff Satan (Luke 4:1-13). Thank you for choosing to experience life in a human body.
You really do know how challenging it can be to exercise self-control (Hebrews 4:15).
Self-control doesn’t come easily to me. Please forgive me for the times I have said and
done things rashly. Please remind me to consider self-control as “God-control” – not trying
to control myself with human effort, but rather depending on You to fill me with the Holy
Spirit so I can be self-controlled. I ask that You would make that supernatural change in
me so I can keep in step with the Spirit. My desire is to have the fruit of Your Spirit
evident in my life, especially self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Please remind me to go to
You when I am tempted, as I know Your promise to “provide a way out so that I can stand
up under it” (1 Corinthians 10:13). Thank you for promising Your Holy Spirit to all who
ask (Luke 11:13)! As I wake each morning, please remind me to ask for a fresh filling of
Your Spirit.
If, as an adult, I sometimes struggle with impulsiveness, I wonder what it must be like to
be a kid trying to exercise self-control. My child struggles with maintaining self-control
when ________. Wonderful Counselor, please pour out Your heavenly wisdom on
________ so he/she is able to recognize temptation when the devil comes prowling around
to tempt him/her to lose self-control in this area. Do not give Satan the joy of seeing
him/her “like a city whose walls are broken down” (Proverbs 25:28). Instead, please
prompt ________ to go to You for help when he/she is tempted, so the walls of his/her
heart remain intact. Please give ________ the wisdom to ask to be filled with Your Spirit
so he/she can be self-controlled.
As a family, I ask that we would be strong in You, Lord, and in Your mighty power.
Remind us of our need to put on the full armor of God so we can take a stand against the
devil’s schemes. I ask that in addition to the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness,
the shield of faith, and the helmet of salvation, that we would hold firmly to the sword of
the Spirit, the Word of God, and that we would be a praying family! Please fit our feet
with readiness that comes from the gospel of peace (Ephesians 6:10-18).
As parents, we should set aside time to teach our children character traits that will make
them outstanding, admired citizens. Every day is filled with opportunities for helping them
learn about the character traits we value and want to encourage.
Children who demonstrate self-­control show:
...discipline
...willpower
...restraint
...strength of mind
Self-control is the quality of having self-will and self-discipline. The opposite of selfcontrol is self-indulgence.
How to Demonstrate Self-control
at Home
• Refuse to allow other family members to provoke you to anger.
• Never discipline in anger.
• Look for ways to serve other family members rather than yourself.
• Purpose never to raise your voice in anger in the home.
at Work/School
• Purpose ahead of time that you will stand alone for what is right and refuse to
compromise.
• Refuse to participate in harmful habits.
• Choose to walk away from questionable activities.
• Don’t allow anger to destroy the effectiveness of your witness.
at Church
• Reject gossip about church leaders and other church members.
• Never react in anger to those who disagree with you.
• Follow the principles in Matthew 18:15-20 to restore someone who has a fault.
Bible Stories Related to Self-control
• David’s refusal to harm Saul (I Samuel 24:1-14)
• Daniel who purposed ahead of time not to eat the King’s food (Daniel 1)
• Jesus when He was tempted by Satan in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-11)
The “I Wills” of Self-Control
• I will not act impulsively.
• I will not equate desires with rights.
• I will set my own limits.
• I will see my anger as a sign that something is wrong in me.
• I will walk away from things that aren’t right.
Character Definitions of Self-control
• Learning to quickly identify and obey the initial promptings of the Holy Spirit.
Bringing my thoughts, words, and actions under the control of the Holy Spirit.
• Rejecting wrong desires and doing what is right.
• Rejecting my own desires and doing what is right.
• Self-control n. control of oneself, one’s desires, reactions, etc.
Desires Are Not Rights
In teaching self-control it is important to understand the difference between desires and
rights. Our children may desire an extra helping of dessert, but it is not a right. A young
man may desire to drive at 70 mph in a 30 mph area, but it is certainly not a right. To be
law-abiding citizens, children must recognize that just because they desire something, it is
not their right to have it.
“It's important to memorize Scripture in order to stand strong during life's difficult
circumstances. When you have Bible verses inscribed in your mind, you're carrying a
concealed weapon. You're wielding the sword of the Spirit.” (Dr. David Jeremiah) With
your family, meditate on these passages during the month of May, and begin laying up His
words in your heart.
Acts 24:25
Now as he reasoned about righteousness, self-control, and the judgment to come, Felix
was afraid and answered, “Go away for now; when I have a convenient time I will call for
you.”
Galatians 5:23
Gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.
2 Timothy 3:3
Unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good,
Titus 1:8
But hospitable, a lover of what is good, sober-minded, just, holy, self-controlled,
Other References Related to Self-control
Proverbs 16:32 He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his
spirit than he that taketh a city.
Proverbs 14:29 He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of
spirit exalteth folly.
Proverbs 15:18 A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth
strife.
James 1:19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak,
slow to wrath:
James 1:26 If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but
deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain.
1 Peter 3:10 For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from
evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: