What does it mean to
live a life of gratitude?
First Unitarian Fellowship of Nanaimo
Theme Based Ministry
October 2014
Table of Contents
To go immediately to a section, simply hover over the heading with your curser and press Ctrl+Click at
the same time.
A Note from the Minister ................................................................................................................... Page 1
Reading – “The Heart of our Faith” by Galen Guengerich .................................................................. Page 2
Reading – “A Practice of Gratitude” by Rev. Samaya Oakley ............................................................. Page 2
Films About Gratitude ........................................................................................................................ Page 5
TV Shows About Gratitude ................................................................................................................. Page 5
Poems About Gratitude ..................................................................................................................... Page 6
Books on Gratitude (fiction and non-fiction) ..................................................................................... Page 6
Fiction: ....................................................................................................................................... Page 6
Non-Fiction: ............................................................................................................................... Page 7
Quotes About Gratitude .................................................................................................................... Page 7
Challenges for the Month .................................................................................................................. Page 7
Spiritual Practices .............................................................................................................................. Page 8
Upcoming Themes ............................................................................................................................. Page 8
A Note from the Minister
This is a month where we as Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving. Our origins of Thanksgiving are slightly
different than those of our US cousins south of the border. Europeans typically celebrate with a festival
of thanks and celebrations of harvest took place during the month of October. It was Martin Frobisher,
an explorer, from England that brought the tradition over to the New World as a way of giving thanks for
his safe arrival. This one small event is an example of how colonialism is ever present in the practices of
every day Canadians today.
As we become more aware of how our culture has dominated in the creation of a “New World”,
considerable thought is now being given to how colonial attitudes and practices have contributed to the
elimination of cultures that existed at that time. In May, 2009, the Permanent Forum on Indigenous
Issues appointed Special Rapporteur, Ms. Tonya Gonnella Frichner, to conduct a preliminary study on
the impact on indigenous peoples of the Doctrine of Discovery. This Doctrine has served as the
foundation of the violation of indigenous peoples’ violation of human rights. This preliminary study
establishes that the Doctrine of Discovery has been institutionalized in law and policy, on national and
international levels, and lies at the root of the violations of indigenous peoples’ human rights, both
individual and collective. It is argued Christian states of Europe used this document to promote on a
global scale a “framework of dominance and the theft of indigenous peoples’ lands, territories, and
resources, under the disguise of activities that are deemed “just” and “lawful.”1
As we take time this month to consider what it means to live a life of gratitude, let us remember to
consider the many ways our lives have been affected by the Doctrine. The land we all live on was a part
of a nation, a tribe, a community that was deemed to be not worthy to hold the land, to look after it, to
be careful stewards of the land. Yes, let us be grateful for the bounty of the earth, for the sun, the sky,
the wind, and rain that all contribute to the bounty available to us. The Truth and Reconciliation
Commission continues to do its work hosting dialogues about the effects of the residential school
system on those who experienced it. I am grateful that there are strong people willing to tell their story.
I am grateful for opportunities to hear the stories. I am grateful that I have choice over how much I am
able to take in at any given point in time. I am grateful that we have begun the work towards healing.
1
www.un.org/esa/socdev/unpfii/.../E%20C.19%202010%2013.DOC
FUFON Thematic Ministry Packet - October
Page 1
Reading – “The Heart of our Faith” by Galen Guengerich
Gratitude should be the center of Unitarian Universalist theology.
“My twelve-year-old was on the playground recently with her Jewish and Catholic friends. The topic of
religion came up, and they asked her what Unitarians believe. She found it hard to respond. Is there a
playground-ready answer to this question?” To read more of this article, follow this link:
http://www.uuworld.org/ideas/articles/11144.shtml
Reading – “A Practice of Gratitude” by Rev. Samaya Oakley
I grew up in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. I can remember summers so hot that I spent all my time
in the basement attempting to remain cool. I remember winters where it snowed so much I would
literally have to climb up snow banks the snow-blowers made in the field behind my parents’ place.
Honestly….for some reason I was the trail blazer on the block. When it snowed quite a bit the snow
plows came along and plowed several rows as a wind breaker for the houses. I was the one that blazed
the trail that would eventually be beaten down into a path that the rest of the people on the block
would take to get to and from the Catholic elementary school, or the bus stop that would take you to
and from high school or work.
It was on one of those bitterly cold afternoons when I was trudging home through the snow and
the wind that I decided there had to be a better place to live. Somewhere on this incredibly large planet
there had to be a better place to live! And I found it when I moved to the west coast. I can feel it deep in
my bones that I belong in this place. It’s hard to believe that I would then deliberately choose to move
back to this climate to accomplish my internship. I can tell you the story of how all of that happened
another time, but suffice it to say that yes, I deliberately chose Calgary to complete my internship and
for very good reason. I figured I could manage to suck it up for one year.
The months of September and up until October were fine. The weather was good – dry, but
decent temperatures. In mid-October I went to Colonial Williamsburg, Virginia for a conference. It was
on my flight back that the pilot told us we would be arriving in the midst of a snow storm. My Facebook
posts began to contain posts like…I had to scrape the car off in the morning…did I mention how much I
don’t like snow….and I’d complain about the temperature. One morning I awoke to find a private
message from a friend of mine with only these words – “bloom where you are planted.” Well, you could
have knocked me over with a brick. I mean I knew that I found the bleak, harsh surroundings of a prairie
winter discouraging, but I had no idea that my pathetic attempts at humour were not masking my
negativity. In that moment I realized that if I did not change my attitude and find something else to
focus on, I would be in trouble. I realized that I was going to have to do something different if I was
going to make it through my internship year sane and in good spirits. It was around that time that a 30Day Gratitude Challenge began on Facebook. I thought that this might be a good challenge for me to
take up – and so began a journey into gratitude that deepens and enriches my life.
FUFON Thematic Ministry Packet - October
Page 2
I find this pretty exciting stuff and the more I engage in the practice of gratitude, I find it
becomes a choice. By engaging in the practice of gratitude, I find that I want to choose gratitude in each
and every moment. And in a society that forces you to look at just how much one doesn’t measure up in
so many ways, this can be difficult to do – I’m not tall enough, short enough, slim enough, pretty
enough, or sun-tanned enough just to mention a few. I think Riley had it right in so many ways! And
then just think of the distractions and pressures that get put on so many of us – our health suffers, our
worries about our children, there isn’t enough money to do what needs to be done, …you get the
picture. And this doesn’t even take into account how busy we are all supposed to be – if you’re not busy,
you’re not successful, and so the distractions of life along with the accelerated pace have made it easy
to forget the importance of gratitude in our lives.
I began to reclaim a sense of power that Viktor Frankl talks about when I began to practice
gratitude. Viktor Frankl, a survivor of Auschwitz, a death camp in Nazi Germany, said, “The one thing you
can't take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one's
freedoms is to choose ones attitude in any given circumstance.” 2 Each one of us has that power within
us to choose our attitude and to choose gratitude. I wonder though how many times we lose sight of
this choice, choosing instead to choose the path of least resistance – moving toward what is easiest or
the most face-saving in the moment.
Each conversation, each touch, each glance with another person becomes a gift. Gratitude has
been described as ‘a habit of the heart,’ or ‘the inner gesture of giving meaning to our life by receiving
life as a gift.’ It takes work and effort to look at all that comes our way as a gift. I found that central to
the practice of gratitude lies the ability to change my perception beginning by living in the moment. And
something remarkable happened in all of that – I began to notice so many changes to the way that I
responded to life - changes that science backs up and confirms. Scientific research confirms that people
who practice gratitude experience more positive emotions such as optimism, joy, pleasure and
enthusiasm; have healthier bodies in that the immune system is strengthened, blood pressure is
lowered, symptoms of illness are reduced, become motivated to exercise and take better care of the
self; sleep better by sleeping more , spending less time awake before falling asleep, and feeling more
refreshed on waking; and it strengthens relationships in that we feel closer and more committed to
friends and romantic partners.
I also find that I wanted to spend more time outside noticing the grandeur of nature and the
cycles of the seasons of life around me. I begin to awaken to the magic and glory of nature all around
me. Not only do I become grateful for the vibrant colours that shine so brilliantly in the wet sunshine
here on the west coast, the written word awakens feelings of gratitude when I focus on the words. I
invite you to join me in a little experiment. As Joyce leads us in our responsive reading, be fully present
to the picture the words are painting and see if you can invoke the feeling of gratitude as you say the
words, We give thanks this day.
2
Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
FUFON Thematic Ministry Packet - October
Page 3
I also found over time that I did not want my practice of gratitude to focus on how my life was
being blessed, but I wanted to focus on how others were working in the world. I believe that if I am to
give thanks for the joy of human life, its wonders and surprises, its hopes and achievements, I need to
actively be working for peace and justice, to live so that others might live in dignity and freedom. I began
noticing the helpers behind the scenes – those that plow the roads in the middle of a storm, to those
that help out in the midst of a crisis silently, unspoken, to those who take my money at the cash register,
to those that get stopped because of the colour of their skin, to those who are working behind the
kitchen door.
Over time I began to notice more and more that gratitude, like compassion, is something that is
present and practiced in so many different religions. The term perennial wisdom is used to look at the
shared values and the inherent positive beliefs of humanity over the ages. It looks at what continues to
surface time and time again “among diverse peoples, unconnected by geography and language, yet
inextricably linked to what is inherently important in our shared experience of what it means to be
human.”3 “Gratitude is the cornerstone of all the world’s religions, including Christianity, Judaism, Islam,
Buddhism, Shintoism and Jainism. Whether it be praise and honour to a monotheistic God, to multiple
spirits of nature, to each other or the universe, a sense of appreciation is the foundation of all acts of
piety and, ultimately, saintliness. Indigenous cultures of many continents also draw heavily on this
concept, using it as a launching pad for their daily acts and their very existence. Native American tribes
lived their existence on this country’s plains, woodlands and prairies for centuries before the age of
exploration. Central to their beliefs is gratitude and respect for everything around them – the seen and
unseen. … According to Zen writings, the mark of a useless person is a lack of appreciation. “The
unworthy man is ungrateful, forgetful of the benefits [done to him]. This ingratitude, this forgetfulness is
congenial to mean people … But the worthy person is grateful and mindful of benefits done to him. This
gratitude, this mindfulness, is congenial to the best people.” 4
What I find fascinating though, particularly as I begin to engage in creating Beloved Community,
is that “of all of the universal themes that have been transmitted through perennial wisdom, the
expression of gratitude continues to be the glue that consistently holds society and relationships
together.”5 I find that the daily practice of gratitude helped to keep my heart open. Not only do I notice
the stranger, the other, in my daily life, my own interpersonal relationships with people change. Now
the decisions are not so important, but the discussion on the way to the decision becomes the
important factor. I find that when I’m engaged in a practice of gratitude, I am called to the creation of an
authentic discussion – not one where the mere niceties and the “nice” conversation happens, but the
one where dissenting views are presented, tough truths are aired because this brings us closer together.
“Through conscious and sustained practice over a period of time, we can discover again how
gratitude and all its related qualities – thankfulness, appreciation, compassion, generosity, grace, and so
many other positive states – can become integrated and embodied in our lives. And when people in
3
Angeles Aarrien, Living in Gratitude: Mastering the Art of Giving Thanks Every Day, p. 1
Lenore Skomal, Gratitude: Words of Wisdom to Guide, Influence and Inspire, pp. 9-11
5
Angeles Aarrien, Living in Gratitude: Mastering the Art of Giving Thanks Every Day, p. 1
4
FUFON Thematic Ministry Packet - October
Page 4
great numbers choose to practice, integrate, and embody gratitude, the cumulative forced that is
generated can help create the kind of world we all hope for and desire for ourselves and our future
generations.”6 We in fact build a new way to make meaning of our lives as human beings, and in the
world.
On your way home from the fellowship this morning Take a moment now and consider did
someone deliver your paper to your house this morning? Did someone make you coffee this morning?
Did someone open a door for you? Smile at you? Try to bring as much of your gratitude to bear on each
moment as you go through this week.
By giving thanks for another day, for all those in our lives who have brought us warmth and love,
for the gift of life, we actively engage in the process of becoming more whole – of living more fully, of
giving and forgiving more freely, of understanding more completely the meaning of our lives here on
this earth.
Films About Gratitude
To find out more about the film, simply click on the title and the link will take you to a website about the
film.
I Am Breathing
Emma Davie, Morag McKinnon
A moving portrait of a courageous young man with Lou Gehrig's Disease who seeks to make his death
fruitful to others.
Go Go Tales
Abel Ferrara
A comedy about the manager and host of a New York strip club whose gratitude and optimism are
something to behold.
Our Daily Bread
Nikolaus Geyrhalter
A thought-provoking documentary that gives us a new appreciation of the time, energy, and hard labor
that lies behind the creation, packaging and delivery of the food we eat.
TV Shows About Gratitude
7th Heaven – “This weekly television series follows the Camden family as the minister father and stayat-home mother deal with the drama of having seven children, ranging from toddlers to adults with
6
Angeles Aarrien, Living in Gratitude: Mastering the Art of Giving Thanks Every Day, p.2
FUFON Thematic Ministry Packet - October
Page 5
families of their own. The friends, neighbors, and love interests of the various members of the family
weigh heavily on the plot of the series, which seeks to address a real-life issue with each episode.”7
"Parenthood" is the critically acclaimed one-hour drama inspired by the box office hit of the same
name. This reimagined and updated Universal Television/Imagine Entertainment production follows the
trials and tribulations of the very large, colorful and imperfect Braverman family.” 8
Poems About Gratitude
Thanks
by W. S. Merwin
Listen...
Around Us
by Marvin Bell
We need some pines to assuage the darkness...
Dusting
by Marilyn Nelson
Thank you for these tiny...
What Was Told
by Rumi
translated by Coleman Barks
What was said to the rose that made it open was said...
Rabbi Ben Ezra
by Robert Browning
Grow old along with me...
Books on Gratitude (fiction and non-fiction)
Fiction:
Gratitude by Joseph Kertes – Set in March 1944, this is an exploration with deep humanity of the
complexities of the human psyche in its darkest hour.
Hug Machine by Scott Campbell – an endearing story that encourages a warm, caring, and affectionate
approach to life.
7
8
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0115083/
http://www.nbc.com/parenthood/about
FUFON Thematic Ministry Packet - October
Page 6
Non-Fiction:
365 Thank-Yous: The Year a Simple Act of Daily Gratitude Changed My Life by John Kralik. This book is a
memoir that sets a believable, doable example of how to live a life of gratitude.
Seasons of Grace: The Life-Griving Practice of Gratitude by Alan W. Jones and John O’Neil. A book that is
both a comfort and challenge to change your life for the better.
Quotes About Gratitude
“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words
but to live by them.” John E. Kennedy
“I truly believe we can either see the connections, celebrate them, and express gratitude for our
blessings, or we can see life as a string of coincidences that have no meaning or connection. For me, I’m
going to believe in miracles, celebrate life, rejoice in the views of eternity, and hope my choices will
create a positive ripple effect in the lives of others. This is my choice.” Mike Eriksen
“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of
Gratitude.” A.A. Milne
“At times, our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has a
cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” Albert Schweitzer.
Challenges for the Month
Try one of the three gratitude challenges and post your findings on our Facebook page:
1. For the month of October, you are invited to write down three things you are grateful for every day.
It can be as simple as the beautiful sunrise or sunset you saw, or as detailed as a conversation you
had with a loved one or co-worker.
2. Join the Acts of Kindness challenge on KindSpring. You can choose to take a kindness, gratitude,
mindfulness or an eco-footprint challenge. You can sign up for your challenge here:
http://www.kindspring.org/challenge/
3. Choose three people you have a difficult time interacting with. Over the month of October, find an
opportunity to drop a each person a note that expresses your gratitude and appreciation for who
they are.
FUFON Thematic Ministry Packet - October
Page 7
Spiritual Practices
Choose one of the three practices offered here and engage with it over the month.
1. Keep a gratitude journal. Rabbi Baruch Spinoza, a seventeenth century Dutch philosopher,
suggested that each day we ask ourselves three questions:
a. Who or what inspired me today?
b. What brought me happiness?
c. What brought me comfort and deep peace today?
2. Make a list of five people that have had a profound impact on your life. Now choose one person on
the list and write them a letter expressing gratitude for the effects this person has had on your life.
Be as specific as possible in your letter. Mail the letter to the person if they are still alive. If they
have died,
3. Once a week during the month of October go on a gratitude walk of at least 20 minutes or longer.
Consider the many things for which you are grateful – relationships, material comforts, a healthy
body, a mind that is active, etc. Breathe in and release your gratitude to the world.
Upcoming Themes
Next month our theme focuses on what it means to live a life of peace. Contributions to the packet are
more than welcome! Please forward them to [email protected] prior to October 20th. This includes art,
poems, movies, reflections, etc. Unleash your creativity!
FUFON Thematic Ministry Packet - October
Page 8