worlds my oyster
ideas to begin Self Awareness
for 13 - 15 yr olds
why?
The ideas behind these thoughts, is that from a very young age we
begin the imprinting of who we are.
We develop our beliefs and our network systems. Mostly, thru
what we are given, from our parents and our surroundings. Those
of us who realise this, and are not afraid of allowing our children to
‘become’, who open the door to each of them individually
understand that the challenges ahead, are great.
I say this, as the road to expanding our children, giving them their
own free will, comes at a cost to the parent’s ego.
We are, developing the future with these great souls.
Although young, they are not incapable of recognising their own
self , whilst also developing ego and the art of mimicking your
actions and words.
Let us choose carefully the minds of the children we set forth from
our houses, as they are all that there is to the future, and they are
what will build tomorrow.
Although I give some thoughts to the following headings, they are
brief, as by no means are they the only thought to be had on the
subject. It is not a hierarchy. Not a dictator ship but merely a
thought that will hopefully inspire in you, greater thoughts, and
action. For ultimately YOU begin their creation.
Use these lessons as you will, to gain some deeper thought to other
areas of your children’s life.
Add and create as you know will develop specific attributes needed
for your children.
Look at behaviours to see what may be occurring around them,
within home, within school, within their minds. For as they see
and process, maybe things have just not settled into place quite in
the right context.
There is no time too early to begin thinking and allowing their
minds to understand their greatness.
There is no time too soon for them to start to enjoy being the
miracle that they are.
And all this.. this greatness, the miracle, their everything, is right
within their reach within their own minds.
Keep returning
The key to this learning.. is the repetition. It is after all life- and they are
going to be doing this for a long time.
So - every now and then - once you have finished - go back over pieces of
the course that might hold a relevant lesson for what is being
experienced at school - or with friends.
Every now and then throughout the age bracket - repeat the course so
the children can see that they change - their thoughts change - that the
things they like and don't like change.
Encourage them to make note of these changes so they can see
themselves growing.
Encourage them to keep their scrapbook up to date with who they are!
How it works
My intention is that each Lesson will begin with a note to you the
parents.
This way - I can get you to understand where my head is at .. what I am
wanting this lesson to bring to the table of discussion - and what I am
hoping to achieve in this lesson ...
It would be pertinent to point out now - that there IS an adult version of
these children's courses.
It would be fabulous- that if you are asking deep and intimate questions
of your child - that you would be prepared to do the same of yourself.
CLEARLY - your involvement and time is essential at this age. Please
give both to this great life of your child! Be the one who opens the door
for them to find pieces of themselves. Open their imagination - let them
carve their creation. Please - let this journey be ABOUT them. Don't
push their answers or debate if it is the right answer - it is their answer.
It is right for them - now.
PLEASE encourage their scrapbook or journal as this will be the start of
them creating a book about them - their truth - step by step - and trust
me - if we can gift them this at this early age - some knowing of who
they are - they will be less likely to fall into a lack of understanding of
their dreams and wishes - having self esteem and courage and
confidence.
I truly trust that you will begin a great journey with your child and open
them to a most spectacular life and future - but be warned - it isn't easy
raising aware and conscious children! But therein lies our lesson...
me and you
the same but different!
Parents notes
In Me and You - there is a deep need for children to recognise
that within we are all OF the same.
A failing to understand thus, can be the starting point for
racism and other negative and belittling emotions as we age.
Recognising that we have the same core, the same abilities but that it is all housed in different bodies and developed
through different means allows children to truly understand
that they are not alone, that they are part of a unit - in
humanity - and that they belong to quite a large family that
needs the same love and respect as their own.
Where do you sit with this?
How do you value those around you?
How do you currently handle situations that have racism?
activity
For this age group it is very obvious that there is similarities and
differences in people. There point to make now, is about ego. It is
trying to allow them to see that ego drives much of their thoughts
and world and that this ego is not in fact them. A good way of doing
this is in a role play situation. Create different characters that you
have to be and ask them to make conversation with each different
person. May be grand parent, then mate etc, so they can see how
they react differently around different people and that this is in fact
the masks they put on to ‘be’ different, but none are who they are at
home when they are themselves. A realisation of this means they
can begin to see that they do behave different around people and that
this hides who they really
my space
parents notes
It is important for children to recognise space, and their space
around them. It is also important for them to find their
personal space.
What is their need when people are around them?
What can they handle?
It is also a good time to begin seeing that space creates. Space
creates from nothing to something.
activity
A couple of things can be done here to understand space in
various forms.
Firstly is their space. In general get them to place their arms out
to the side. This amount of space is a ‘general’ rule as to
‘personal’ space. The bubble that is around them. Their space honour it! At this age it is about making sure they do not invade
another persons space while being free with their own. Secondly
is understanding what space can be taken from them. In pairs
they can start at the end of personal space distance, and work
their way in. Taking it in turns they can say when is ‘close’
enough for them to feel comfortable. As they feel uncomfortable
they have found their limit as to space.
At this age get them to begin to connect more to their feelings as
they close the space between them and others - and to take note
of their feelings telling them when to stop
The last is to show how space creates.
Get a box, a balloon, a plastic cup. Allow them to see what they
see with all items complete. As in balloon blown up, and the box
built etc. Then pull the balloon down and the box to being flat.
Now ask them to describe what they see. Eg a balloon cannot
fly it is just rubber and the box just cardboard. Show them how
creating space within them is what actually makes them! We
are the same. We all need space to grow. Space is also another
way to encourage them to use and have an imagination. When
our minds are cluttered, we do not have the ability to put things
in, like creative thoughts. But having room/space in our minds
allows us to have an imagination. Allow them to lay and think
up some imaginative thoughts that they can write down to
create later.
my body
parents notes
There is never an early enough time to become aware - at various age
appropriate levels - of our body. At this point the most they need to
really know is that it is theirs! I like to explain to them some of the
simple voluntary and involuntary actions that happen in the body. So
they become aware that the body is working all the time. It never rests,
but you need to rest to let it perform duties it cannot do while we are
awake. Separate on a basic level body mind and soul. Talk about body
boundaries and what is safe for them. Having a strong body and a
strong mind. Being healthy. Also it is a great time to begin to establish
what they love about them. Actually getting them to realise what they
do and don’t like about themselves.
Activity
Allow them to appreciate that their bodies are going to change all the
time, and that these changes from this point on will be noticeable to
them and others.
That these changes are absolutely normal and that the body develops in
its own unique way.
Understanding body boundaries is important at this age as curiosity sets
in. It is great for them to appreciate that what we have is our own and no
one else touches that, and that we each must respect that about each
other.
Get them talking about boundaries and what is appropriate and not
appropriate, and demonstrate ways to be safe with their bodies, that
meet with your own circumstances.
hormones and relationships
parents notes
Like surges of energy the hormones are now up and fully raging! Little
electric shocks run through them changing their thoughts and feelings
from one minute to another. Patience is tested time and time again now,
and you will do well to remember that your darling one is still in there
alive and well, just a little preoccupied at the moment.
Activity
Firstly get them to understand that this is about hormones and that they
are very controlling little fields of energy. Whilst they will argue this
point, they need to acknowledge that this is what is happening to them
right now. It is wise for them to not only have a talk about what is
happening but for them to get an idea about what is happening to the
opposite sex as well. If they don’t want to do the talking with you, then
you will need for them to find someone they feel they can talk with, and at
the same time, sort out why you are not the one! Amongst the hormones
are the relationships.
Understanding relationships at this age is difficult when they are still
working out who they are. We can all recall this time when everything
sends us crazy. The most important message they need now - is to take
notice of themselves and how they are feeling and seeing things. Because
the moment they connect to this - it opens space for them to allow others
to do the same. It means they also will be respectful of the feelings and
thoughts of others as they know how much is goingon within them.
I have a lot of work sheets that can accompany this - so please reach out if
you would like any more support.
NO! to bullies
parents notes
It is made very clear from this point on, that bullies are not
tolerated in our world.
Not the kindergarten, not the home, not at the shopping centre or
their activities they go to, it is unacceptable at all within this
world.
That bullying is unkind and unfair play.
That just as they do not like to be bullied, others do not want to be
bullied.
Traits of bullying can be visible early on - and it is wise of us as
parents to see these and work immediately to look to find why
bullying is happening.
Looking at the 'hurt' that is residing within the person who is
bullying is a huge place to start.
activity
At this age - everyone is well aware of bullying and th eimpact of
being a bully -as well as being bullied. In the 'kid' world this is
everything they deal with on a daily basis.
Now there is alot of awareness and work done on bullying.
There is also the extra connection of the internet and the ability to
bully into peoples private lives as opposed to just amongst friends at
school.
I think the most relevant connection here - is to understnad what
they know. What they feel about it. Get them to recognise the effects
on those who have been bullied to increase impact.
Sadly the spectrum can be as vast as mental health issues - right
through to suicide.
The next thing I always do is use this time to speak to them about
speaking up. That if they know someone who is bullied that they are
enduring alot of pressure and confusion and intense emotional pain and that in supporting them by helping them speak out - or stand up
is everything right now.
Lastly - making sure that there is a form of understanding in all the
forms of bullying for them to really connect and make sure they arent
coming across as a bully to anyone.
My big key note end - is that one never truly gains power by making
someone else look weak!
dreams
parents notes
If only we all had been given the permission to dream.
If we were told that dreaming is a good thing.
If we were actually encouraged to dream, so we started on our road
towards truly striving for what we would love to make of our lives.
Teaching and giving permission to dreams allows children to not
only think big, but allows them to think fun!
It gives them the opportunity to imagine, and to create with their
minds and therefore their lives. At this age dreaming is so
important for them to begin to create their life ahead
activity
Encourage the kids to talk about their dreams.
Ask them if they remember their dreams, and invite them to close their
eyes and create a dream. Giving them actual permission to dream will
start them on a never ending creative climb to seeing so much possibility
of all they can become and what their lives may be.
Encourage them to think of a dream that they think will be their future,
and allow them to talk about it.
TALK about dreams - and what they mean - get them understanding the
power and importance of dreams.
Teach them that within dreams they can see what is important to them
and allow those pieces to be created greater in their dreams.
Assure them that by taking small steps they can make their dreams
reality. That dreams are the first step to creating.
Right now - we are more and more empowered by our dreams and by what
we can achieve - actively encouraging our kids to dream opens them to
realising infinite possibilities are available to them.
They are old enough to start googling their drema meanings and even
making a journal of their dreams so they can see when they play out in
their life1
invincible and immortal
parents notes
With the hormones comes this invincible feeling. That nothing can
destroy them and that they will in fact live forever. It is not until
they actually experience something bad that they understand that
things bad do happen to everyday people. It is hard to actually
teach someone at this age to really understand their immortality as
they seem to believe what they see in the movies. But it is
important so that they realise that life is precious.
activity
First see what level of respect they have for life. Do they think it is all a
game or is it respected as an opportunity to live. Have they had someone
close to them go through an experience that has shown them that life is
not forever? Have they lost anyone? Have they buried a pet and felt what
it is like to lose someone they love? What do they think of risk? How much
do they risk in life and what do they risk in life? Do they risk their own
life? Assessing how risky they are at this point is a good start to seeing
what work needs to be done to gain respect for living!
reality bites
parents notes
Now is a good time for teaching children that what they think of the
world is not necessarily what the world is. That this world is not
always going to seem fair and just to them, but it is what it is. That
the real world and how things play out do not always match.
activity
Get the children to make a list of how things ARE for them right now.
What they do, what they pay for, what they have. Next get a list together
with them of what life is really like. Eg no one gets 12 weeks holiday a
year, only when you are at school. Rent to pay, food etc etc And you don’t
have to stay in at recess any more when you do something wrong.. you get
a whole cell all of your own!!! Reality is a good place to speak also of
responsibility of actions. Get a list going of things that are done and what
consequences should be applied to those actions so that a realisation can
come as to the reality that what you do will have a cause and effect.
roots for life
parents notes
We always need to know we have a stable ground to walk back to.
These are the roots for life that we need to identify so we can have
peace of mind that they actually exist. Roots for life are the strong
ground holdings that help us no matter what.
activity
To identify the roots for life, the children need to draw a tree, and
draw the roots at the bottom. You can then explain the workings of
this tree, that it can survive because of many things, but how
important the roots are for both nourishment and support, which are
given not just as food and water and a strong hold, but by love and
support.
Now they can go back to their tree and actually write in who their
roots for life are so they can hold onto the fact that always there is
someone there for them.
A great way to show them this is by showing them the difference
between trees and flowers. How flowers may be pretty, but they do
not last long, their roots are shallow and they cannot withstand
great changes in weather. Whereas the tree has more depth to it. It
is tall and strong and still has beautiful flowers and fruits, but it has
strength in where it holds so it lasts a lot longer.
Our roots - are what hold us.
awesome attitude
positive power
parents notes
Teaching children how to drop the attitude is fun! They all have
an attitude and it starts now and doesn’t stop for a few years. The
attitude is really just their way of marking their territory. They
are trying to express their own power and their own control in their
lives. It is important to remind them that whilst they are gaining
responsibility for their lives they are not at the stage to take it all
on yet. That there are things they can be responsible for and
things that you are responsible for as a parent. It is also important
to show them that having a ‘whatever’ attitude means no care or
responsibility and that until they lose that, they won’t be given any
chances to BE responsible for their life. Positive Power, is about
showing them the power of both positive thinking and positive
words.
activity
Explain to them that their attitude is about their want to be in
control and not be hassled.Their desire to be seen and heard without
authority over-ruling them. They are growing up! Allow this. But
this comes with more repsonsibility. Get them to write a list of what
they believe they can be responsible for and work thru this list with
them to select some of the things that are age relevant that they can
take over. This then leaves room to grow with things still on the list,
and room for you to allow them to become more responsible. Make
sure you keep to your side of the bargain! With the positive thinking,
get them to write ways in which they can then change with positive
thinking, so they can become more responsible and take on more
control. In a manner that does not hold attitude. A part of this is
using words that have greater effect on them and those around them.
Get them to make a list of words that you can then work with them
on showing a new positive word to use so that their new
responsibility is matched with maturity. Lastly - TONE - is
everything. Mostly it is not whats said but how. Getting them to hear
themselves. record them - play it back so they can hear the tone of
their voice.
giving and recieving
parents notes
Teaching children how to give and receive at this age allows them
to understand from this point that we do not do things just for the
reward of them. That doing things just to receive is no reason for
doing it at all. Certainly we can be rewarded for our ‘work’ by
money, but gifts that we help others with, is not for reward. The
importance here is to begin to gain an understanding of helping
others. That giving is actually the receiving.
activity
Get your child to make a list of the things they do, that they believe should
be for money ie. Pocket money.
Then ask them to make a list of the things they should do for no reward.
The things that are for the act of giving without wanting anything in
return. These shouldbe evening out now - so that whilst they are getting
more jobs and more moeny they are also do more for others.
Giving examples that are relevant to age and gender will help. Things that
are kind and of a service to others, are the ones that are for no reward
other than the act of giving in the first place.
It is also important to allow them the ability to see how to give. That the
act of giving, is to serve, assist or help another person in a way that is of no
benefit to them, but that it helps the other person greatly.
That more often than not the real gift that we can give each other is time.
Time that is theirs to help them in any way. The more they begin to learn
this now- the greater their capacity to expand as they grow.
The more time you give them - the greater they will understand this.
strong body strong mind
parents notes
We all come to realise that there is a need to balance out life.
The need to work on differentiating between body mind and even
soul (which can be spirit or heart).
It is in teaching that within a day, all areas of the ‘being’ needs to be
catered for, and activities given for each.
As they get older it is also important for them to begin to make
responsible eating choices so they can have a healthy body, exercise
choices for their wellness - but also to begin to appreciate that the
mind and soul need food as well.
That all must be given time and attention for true wellness.
activity
There is a huge need right at this age - to be able to gain some vital
information that we all wish we had.
That is - that we must balance our bodies fully in order to have wellness.
The beginningis actually connecting to all these parts of themselves and
understanding that all things must be given time to enjoy and play a little.
Usually exercise or getting fresh air isnt an issue - getting them to eat well
can be a different matter - until it comes to their skin!
Explaining that their skin is delicate right now to all the hormones and that
eating well is going ot help this process along and enable them to not just be
well - but look well. Their mind can be over worked through these ages at
school- so giving them free time to read what they like - to explore the
internet - and connect to things they are interested in allows their minds to
open.
Finally it is the soulful side and this - depending on your beliefs may be a
different or new part of themselves to explore. I dont believe that at this age
they need to be diving into taking on w=anyones beliefs - but their own. And
for the most part given all they are encountering allowing them to find
happiness is a good start. What makes them happy? Getting them to connect
to happiness that is within the law - within not harming anyone else - within
the boundaries of life - is essential. Finding a beginning of their soul food is
also a great start. Music - places - people - food - creative things - what really
kicks into their zone of i love that!!
relax to the max
parents notes
So life can become stressful, even at this age.
They have a lot to absorb with growing up.
In addition their bodies get tired from growing, they do a lot of
exercise - their minds are overworked with study.
They can get stressed out. Very easily!
Teaching them to breathe and learn how to recognise stress or
anxiety is a great way to show them what they hold onto when they
feel this way.
activity
A great couple of games or examples you can use to highlight stress and
what it does to you are these. 1. Get them to hold their hand out and make a
fist, squeeze it tight and make it as tight as they possibly can. REALLY
tight. Now ask them if they noticed how when they held tight they did not
breathe?.. This is what we all do with stress, when we feel stressed out we do
not breathe, which is what causes then the tension as no oxygen is flowing
thru the body. In huge stress people can even pass out! 2. The other one, is
to hold their arms out to the side of their body. After 10 secs ask how it is?..
they’ll say easy.. after 30 secs ask how it is.. they’ll say not bad.. after 1 min
ask how it is and they will say getting tired.. leave it for 2 mins (if possible)
and they will see that they can’t hold it that long. The point is to show that
when we hold something for a short time we can cope, but if we hold it for a
long time, even though the weight does not change, it gets heavier and
harder to hold. This is also stress on the body. The longer we hold onto it
the heavier it will become! After showing them stress, show them relax.
This is where you teach them a good breathing pattern to do whenever they
feel they are stressed. They can repeat the fist holding, and show when
they feel it getting tight to breathe, and watch how the tension goes away.
Then get them to lay down and slowly get them to focus on their breathing
so they can see the tension fold away.
This stuff may seem strange to them- but the sooner they acknowledge
their breath and its role in helping them to find and stay alm - the better!
They are in for a few years of stress ahead - and the quicker they learn to
first SEE stress or anxiety within them - find the triggers - find the cues the better - because they can avert it.
The quicker they recognise that stress and anxiety will only lead to bigger
health issues if they dont learn to understand its affects on the body the
better. Once they can recognise it within themselves - they can then learn
how to either remove themselves from stressful scenarios - or how to deal
with it and find focus on other things.
fun v's money
parents notes
Money is important. They begin to have a need for money to buy
what they think is important to them. And whether we believe the
things are important or not, it is a path they must take to understand
value of money and how to budget for the rest of their lives.
The lesson of appreciating money and what it can do in both good and
bad should never be underestimated.
activity
Getting them to begin to think about money and writing down their
aspirations is truly the best way for them to see their thoughts and then to
measure their actions against it.
Regardless of what they think of money it is necessary - but wont just fall in
their lap. It will only come with work.
So to begini with get them making lists.
Lists are important here for them to actually write down:
what it is they are wanting.
Why are they working?
What goals do they have for their money?
What importance would they rate money as in their life?
Where too from here with their money?
THEN - get them to look :
do they have a job yet to match these money goals?
are they willing to work?
are they going to match the work effort for the goals they have with money?
that is - can they have the work ethic needed?
do they understand what their dreams are asking of them financially?
Use these as lead questions. I can only say from 3 children experience that
money can be one of the biggest arguments. BUT the moment I made it clear
with their goals versus their work ethic - that the only way they get what
they want is to work towards it - they became responsible.
The more I made it visible to them - that here are your goals and thie is what
you have now to attain them - the more they began to realise what was
involved!
bumps in the road
parents notes
It is important to allow children to understand that we get bumps in
our road of happy days.
That this is a part of life.
More so important is teaching them how to cope with those bumps.
To shake them off and keep walking!
In recognising the bumps, we can show what happens to us when we
come across them, we get sad, angry etc.
MOSTLY that we recognise feelings - and that we have hit a bump and that we can overcome them.
Teaching that it is essential to always get back up .
activity
This activity is based a lot on the parents, and how the children see them
repsond to what is happening in life.
It is also about our parenting allowing our children to have the road bumps
that life will bring them - allowing children to respond to disappointment,
letting them have feelings about being disappointed or hurt or sad, but then
showing them how we can get right back up and keep going.
It is in not over doing the ‘let’s be sad’ but saying, let’s move on and find a
new happy day.
It is allowing them to show disappointment in not getting what they want
(not a tantrum! but if it is a tantrum that there are other ways to express
these feelings) but in saying, we can move on from this and still have a
happy day.
Ultimately bumps are best dealt with by the way the adults around them
respond.
Also this age group can understand the saying of ‘Water off a ducks back’.
It is a great topic they can research as a quote, and also as to why they use
a duck in the quote and then come up with why this saying is good for
talking about bumps in the road.
Talking about the times bumps have occurred - even when things they have
loved have broken -or they didnt get what they wanted - or when things
didnt go the way they wanted - talking over how they respond to this - and
why - and ways to look for new opportunities. Talking about HOW to get up
- what skills what attributes.. talking over things like Michael Jordans
quote of you miss one hundred percent of the shots you never take.. talking
over quotes and inspiration from their favourite athletes song writers etc
and showing how they have had to overcome and get back up in order to
make it!
creative visualisation
parents notes
Teaching creative visualisation at a young age will be a great benefit
throughout their lives. This powerful tool allows us to stop and see
things a lot clearer than we may have before. The technique of
visualistion is used by all top athletes and all successful people in order
to bring to their life their dreams!
It also allows us to find a safe and gentle space that we can go to, when
we are needing time to think about important issues.
From this amazing beginning we are encouraging space for their mind for their soul for thei calmness - a safe space that they can think leave things behind and make huge decisions.
activity
At this age you are wanting them to tak etim eto stop - slow down - lay
down - listen to their breath and just allow themselves to dream and think
big.
You then want to encourage them to find their space - theplace they are
most comfortable and that they feel most at home and safe. Create as
much definition as they can create in this space- whats the weather whats the day - whats around you - what colour - what smell??
As they see this ask them to find a special tree. This will become their
'Worry Tree'. This is still essential at this age - the place they can release
their burdens and thoughts before just being free to create!
Ask them to sit with the ‘worry’ tree so they can release any thoughts they
have that are bothering them. We will stop and sit here for a minute to
breathe our worries away.
From here, whatever the journey they have chosen, be descriptive, be
creative - SEE what there is to see. This allows them to relax, have fun, be
happy, smile, think good thoughts, be positive and starts them on the path
of finding quiet within them.
This is a beginning. There are so many audios now that you can find many
to choose from - make sure you allow them to feel safe in this space.