November 19, 2015 ⋄ Issue #36
Elements of style
It is cold outside, autumn has fled the onset of
frigid blustery blasts. Two of our favorite
couples have been joined by another in
Bucksnort's Beverage and Chocolate Cafe to
warm up before the start of today's stylish
duplicate.
They are consuming chocolate drinks. The Damsel In Distress (not in true danger but urgently needs
to use ladies room), Red Riding Hood (not a little girl any longer) and Julianna (Bob's beautiful
female student) are sipping trendily on heated dark chocolate cashew milk. The Knight In Shining
Armor and Bob The Showoff rely on chocolate in coffee. Bricks, who built his house to withstand
wolf factor tempests, is never without his staple of hot chocolate and marshmallow. And they all
enjoy chocolate in freshly baked cookies.
Bricks is puzzled, "What is this 'Stylish Day at The Bridge Club?'"
Damsel, the club's queen of style, "It is a day to celebrate style in its many forms in our world of
bridge."
Bricks presses on, "Perhaps the many forms thing is confusing me."
Damsel, "Style is a noun, and means a distinctive manner of doing things. On one end of the
spectrum it usually is modified by adjectives such as horrendous or stupefying. On the other end of
the spectrum no adjectives are used. But if they were, they would be elegant, fluid, and graceful.
Style is often used to describe how people dress, comport themselves in public, and play bridge.
Don't you agree, Showoff Bob?"
Bricks, "I see a lot of bridge players are dressed up today." Damsel is wearing a floor length evening
gown, Knight is wearing a military uniform accessorized by row upon row of medals and a side
saber. "Does that show style in bridge?"
Red, Bricks's stunning maîtresse, responds, "I don't know if you are born with it, but style is
something you either have or haven't. What I'm not so sure about is style at the bridge table. Is such
a thing the type that needs a descriptive adjective?"
The Knight In Shining Armor responds, "Such as plodding or unimaginative or losing? I think it
depends on the bridge player. But I can't name a bridge player around here who has no-adjective
style."
With that said, the three couples rise and head out toward the bridge playing area.
Bricks dallies to grab a handful of cookies. He looks up to catch a glimpse of
Red leaving the cafe, "Wow. You have style. And you got me, Babe."
Mid way through the evening, the movement brings Damsel and her Knight to
the same table as Bricks and Red.
The auction is straight forward. Bricks opens his best minor with 14 HCP, Red shows enough points
for game with her bid of two clubs, Bricks supports
clubs with three, and Red jumps to 6 NT with her 19
HCP.
Damsel leads a low heart, then Bricks tables his
cards as dummy. Red quickly sees that both major
suit kings are missing. There are potentially two or
three tricks in spades, three or four tricks in hearts,
four tricks in diamonds, and three or four tricks in
clubs. But there are potential losers–one each in
spades, hearts and clubs
Because the heart suit offers the promise of more
tricks, she takes the heart finesse at trick one. It
loses (0-1). Back comes a low club. Bricks's eyes
shoot up to hers as if to ask, another finesse? Red
answers with a subtle sideways movement, no more
finesses. In tempo, she wins with the A♣ (1-1). She
leads the K♣ (2-1) to check the possibility of an
even split in clubs. When Damsel show out, Red
thinks, Crap! Should have taken the club finesse.
Knight started out with five clubs. I won't be setting
up my deuce unless he discards two clubs, and that
isn't likely.
Her options limited, she starts on diamonds without hesitation. The K♦ and Q♦ from her hand (4-1),
and then A♦ and the J♦ on the board (6-1). She notices that Knight discards first a heart and then a
low club on the board's two diamond tricks. She pitches the 10♠ on the J♦. Was he teasing her with
that club discard? Will he discard another?
Then she plays the hearts. Knight has a spare spade for the A♥ (7-1) and another for the Q♥ (8-1).
With four cards left, he has K-x of spades and J-9 of clubs. When Red leads the J♥ (9-1) he has no
spare cards left. If he pitches his small spade, he hands her the K♠ on a silver platter. Or if he
pitches the 9♣ she can cash two clubs. He decides to discard the guardian spade. When she leads
the Q♠ he is forced to follow suit with his now bare King. Her final three tricks are the A♠, the J♠,
and the Q♣. Six no trump bid and made.
As they put the cards back in the rack, the Knight offers heady praise, "I like your style. At bridge."
And so do we.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Questions or comments? Email me at [email protected], or text me at 419-575-4513.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------In total there are 53,644,737,765,488,792,839,237,440,000 (or 53.6 octillion) different bridge deals
possible, which is equal to 52!/(13!)^4. The deal presented in this issue of The Rueful Rabbit is but
one of them. Bridge deals are not subject to copyright protection, but what is written about any
bridge deal can be copyrighted.
Stuff
This column/blog is titled The Rueful Rabbit. It is my way of paying homage to Victor Mollo for his
humorous bridge stories. In The Rueful Rabbit I offer my own humorous bridge stories.
Many characters from classical literature and folklore are bridge addicts, and their stories appear in
The Rueful Rabbit. The Knight In Shining Armor, Damsel In Distress, Black Knight, Big Bad Wolf,
Little Red Riding Hood, 3 house building pigs, 3 blind mice and the Farmer's Wife, Little Bo Peep,
and Chicken Little, are characters from long ago folklore. Papa Pig the Hand Hog is a fictional
character, as are the Terminator, Bob the Showoff and his beautiful female students.
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David Albrecht plays bridge in Franklin, TN, USA.
The stories told in this issue of The Rueful Rabbit are copyrighted © 2015 by David Albrecht.
David Albrecht, Ph.D.
Author, blogger, bridge player, professor
Bio: https://www.linkedin.com/in/profalbrecht
945 Hwy 438; Centerville, TN, 37033
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