Objectives
1. Reasons for conflict
2. Personality Preferences
3. Behaviours that irritate people
4. Ways conflicts are triggered or can be avoided
5. Understanding the 3 F’s
6. The Thinking Path when dealing with conflict
7. The Power of T.E.D
8. Techniques to resolve conflict
Reasons for Conflict
‡ Disagreement on!
Facts
Goals
Methods
Values
Personality Type Comparison
Analytical
Amiable
Driver
Expressive
Personality Styles
Consider the four basic personality styles (check off personality traits that you possess):
Analytical
Driver
Detail oriented
Fact oriented
Action oriented
Pragmatic/Practical
Stabilizer
Sequential/Consecutive
Impatient
Decisive
Rational
Effective Communicator
Assertive
Big Ego
Unemotional
Prudent
High Energy Level
Objective
Overcautious
Rigid
Technical
Intimidating
Controlled
Logical
Independent
Strong-willed
Amiable
Expressive
Deals with Future
Original
People Oriented
Spontaneous
Ideological
Innovative
Impulsive
Sensitive
Charismatic
Unrealistic
Persuasive
Manipulating
Creative
Imaginative
Empathetic
Probing
Scattered
Impractical
Sentimental
Introspective
Dependable
Agreeable
Procrastinator
Subjective
Loyal
Enthusiastic
Ambitious
Analytical
‡ Is cautious, conservative and
diplomatic
‡ Likes to proceed in an orderly
manner
‡ Is precise and detail oriented
‡ Prefers to see things in writing
‡ Makes decisions logically not
emotionally
‡ Loves charts and graphs
Driver
‡ Likes to control other people &
situations
‡ Likes to be center stage
‡ Is a high achiever
‡ Likes productivity
‡ Expresses opinions quickly and
vocally
‡ Is demanding of themselves
and others
‡ Is goal oriented
Amiable
‡
‡
‡
‡
‡
‡
‡
‡
Loves to be loved
Needs security
Is seen as soft hearted
Seldom ever argues
Conceals his/her feelings
Can be disorganized
Slow in decision making
Needs a lot of reassurance
Expressive
‡ Needs approval and
compliments
‡ Loves an audience and
being in a group
‡ Is outgoing and persuasive
‡ Friendly, enthusiastic and
spontaneous
‡ Thinks quickly and makes
decisions quickly
Personality Type Comparison
Focus on Results
Analytical
Ask
Driver
Slow
Fast
Amiable
Tell
Expressive
Focus on People
The 9 Behaviours That
Irritate People
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Unreliable
Overly analytical
Unappreciative
Unapproachable
Micro-managing
6.
7.
8.
9.
Self-centered
Abrasive
Untrustworthy
Hostile
Trigger
Repetition
Perception of
threat
(cognition)
Acting
(behaviour)
Anger
(emotions)
Understanding the Three F’s
‡ Fight
‡ Flight
‡ Freeze
Precipitating Event and/or Hot Buttons
Initiate Conflict
Constructive Responses
Behaviours that keep conflict to a
minimum
Task-Focus Conflict
(Cognitive)
‡ Focus on problem solving
‡ Tension decreases
Conflict Diminishes
Destructive Responses
Behaviours that escalate or prolong
conflict
Person-Focus Conflict
(Emotional)
‡ Focus on negative emotions (anger)
‡ Tension increases
Conflict Escalates
The Thinking Path
The Drama Triangle
Persecutor/
Villain
Rescuer/
Hero
Anxiety-Based
Problem-Based
Victim
Questions to Ask Yourself…
‡
‡
‡
‡
‡
Is there any history between the
parties involved?
What is my role in this situation?
Have the conflicting parties had
access to the same information?
How do they understand the
information?
Are the parties influenced by
their status/positions?
Tips to make dealing conflict
resolution a little easier
‡ Know what your hot buttons are
‡ Use a curiosity approach vs. a judgmental approach,
i.e. say to yourself:
± I wonder what I can learn about this situation that I didn’t
know before
± I wonder what this person knows about the situation that
will assist us in finding a resolution to it
Tips to make dealing conflict
resolution a little easier
‡ Use open questions to invite the other party to an
engaging discussion:
± Tell me from your perspective what is going on
± What don’t I know about this situation that I need to
know?
± Who else do you think will assist me in getting insights into
this situation?
± What don’t I want to hear but should hear to ensure I have
the entire picture?
6 Strategies to Diffuse Potential Conflict
1. Manage your emotions: be aware of your emotions and the
emotions of the other party.
2. Let the other person do the talking: the other party may just
want to be heard, feel important. Some people just express
themselves in ways that are counterproductive.
3. Genuinely consider the other person’s point of view:
imagine yourself in his/her shoes. Never say “you’re wrong.”
In fact, try hard to look for areas of agreement and build on
them.
6 Strategies to Diffuse Potential Conflict
4. There is power in the words “I see what you’re saying. You
mean…….”: this shows the other person you hear him/her. That’s
all they may want - to be validated. It doesn’t necessary mean you
agree with them, however it means that you heard their position
from their point of you.
5. Share your position about the situation: in a respectful manner,
state your position on the situation, remain calm, neutral and use
logic based facts.
6. Work on an agreement/next steps together: look for a
win/win solution.