Models of grief
Below is a diagram showing the Models of Grief that have been developed by a
range of theorists since the 1940’s.
Models of grief
Theorist
Stage or Phase
Shock &
Lindemann
Acute Mourning
Resolution
Disbelief
(1944)
Engel (1961,
Shock &
Developing
1964, 1972)
Disbelief
Awareness
Pollock (1961)
Restitution
Resolving the
Loss
(Acute Stage)
Shock
Grief
The
Idealisation
Outcome
(Chronic Stage)
Separation
Reparation
Averill(1968)
Shock
Despair
Kubler-Ross
Denial &
(1969)
Isolation
Parkes (1971)
Numbness
Searching & Pining
Depression
Recovery
Parkes (1974,
Numbness
Yearning & Searching
Disorganisation
Reorganisation
Anger
Bargaining
1986)
Bowlby (1980)
Recovery
Depression
Acceptance
& Despair
Numbness
Yearning & Searching
Disorganisation
Reorganisation
& Despair
Rando (1984)
Avoidance
Sanders (1989)
Shock
Confrontation
Awareness of Loss
Reestablishment
Conservation-
Healing
Renewal
Withdrawal
From “The paradox of loss: Toward a relational theory of grief,” by M. McCabe, 2003, Westport, CT: Praeger
Publishers, p. 24.
Stroebe and Schut (1999) argue that grief can best be described as, ‘A cognitive
process of confronting a loss, of going over the events before and at the time of
death, of focusing on memories and, working toward detachment. Fundamental to
current conceptions is the view that one needs to bring the reality of loss into one’s
awareness as much as possible and that suppression is a pathological
phenomenon.’
There are many models that represent established research in the psychology of
loss and bereavement. Lindermann (1944) discusses the concept of the bereaved
person moving through phases of shock and belief, acute mourning and resolution.
Parkes (1971) presents the argument for stages of numbness, searching and pining,
depression, and recovery. Similarly Bowlby (1980) promulgates the idea of the
bereft moving through phases of numbness, yearning and searching, disorganisation
and despair, and then finally reorganisation.
The problem with staged models of bereavement is that they assume a linear
progression through some distinct time line of grieving. For many people, especially
children, loss and grief is interpreted and reinterpreted differently the further the time
away from the initial loss and the more the child revisits their experiences at different
stages of maturation and development.
The established research of Bowlby and Ainsworth (1977) form some of the
understandings about how infant and individual personal attachment is affected by
loss, grief and bereavement and does not assume a linear progression. The model
states that there are four interchangeable stages and does not overly specify distinct
periods of time to be spent at each stage.
Bowlby's four stages are:
Phase of numbing that usually lasts from a few hours to a week and may be
interrupted by outbursts of extremely intense distress and/or anger.
2. Phase of yearning and searching for the lost figure lasting some months or
sometimes for years.
3. Phase of disorganization and despair.
4. Phase of greater or less degree of organization.
1.
The strength of Bowlby’s model lies in the idea that the bereft young person can
move between lesser or greater degrees of despair, depending on varying factors
contributing to their coping with their grief. This is similar to one of the most highly
recognised models of coping with loss and grief developed by Stroebe and Schut
(1999). The Dual Process Model of Coping and Bereavement (DPM) states that
there is an ‘oscillation’ between loss orientated behaviours, such as ruminating or
negative event interpretation, and restoration orientated behaviours such as revising
constructive goals and assigning new meaning to life experiences post lost. The
model also allows for a moratorium from grief, or a holiday period from experiencing
the feelings associated with loss and grief. The idea that a bereft child or young
person can be assisted in developing the skills to attend to daily life functioning
whilst simultaneously holding in mind the pain of their grief and loss, and that they
can allow themselves breaks from grieving in order to further maximise their coping
strategies, easily fits within the ethos of YMCA Children’s Bereavement Service.
In its application to the area of loss and grief in children and young people the DPM
could be applied in the following ways:
1. It explains how individuals can take time off from thinking about or having to
deal with feelings and emotions associated with the experience of death,
dying, grief and loss. This is a useful tool in talking to children about any guilt
that might be expressed in relation to not thinking as much about the person
who has died.
2. Children and young people can be educated about the idea of loss orientation
and restoration orientation behaviours. This may encourage some individuals
to feel as though they have some control over the overwhelming feelings often
associated with bereavement.
3. Anyone involved in supporting a child through the process of loss and grief,
such as teachers, youth workers or family members and friends can also be
educated about the importance of the need to be able to oscillate between
daily functioning, grieving and taking breaks from bereavement.
4. The Dual Process Model promotes meaning construction and reconstruction
at varying points, which is particularly important in situations of childhood loss
and grief, as it supports the individual in moving on and being able to express
emotions such as joy and happiness, again without feeling guilty about the
person who has died.
5. The model does not presume a linear progression and allows individuals to
grieve at their own pace, and if needed to return to aspects of the loss at
different points in the process of grieving.
YMCA Children’s Bereavement Service endeavours to allow children and young
people to experience their grief from an individual perspective and does not assume
that all children will grieve in a uniform way. However the service is focused on
offering best practice at all times and therefore a thorough understanding of the
psychology of grief and bereavement is important when working in a therapeutic
setting.
Track I
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Functioning
Anxiety
Depressive Affect and Cognition
Somatic Concerns
Psychiatric Concerns
Familial Relationships
General Relations
Self Esteem & Self Worth
Meaning Structure
Work
Investment in Life Tasks
Track II
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Relationship to the
Deceased
Imagery & Memory
Emotional Distance
Positive Affect vis-à-vis Deceased
Negative Affect vis-à-vis Deceased
Preoccupation with Loss & the Lost
Idealisation
Conflict
Features of Loss Process (Shock, Searching),
Disorganisation & Reorganisation
Impact upon Self Perception
Memorialisation & Transformation of the Loss and
the Deceased
Rubin’s Two Track Model of Bereavement
From “The Two Track of Bereavement: Overview, Retrospect and Prospect.” By S.S.
Rubin, 1999, Death Studies, 23, p.685.
Figure 2.1
Model of Meaning Reconstruction Pathways in Response to the Loss of a Loved One
From “Loss, Grief and the Search for Significance: Toward a Model of Meaning Reconstruction in
Bereavement.” By J. Gillies, and R.A. Neimeyer, 2006, p.55.