VERTICAL MARRIAGE | WK 3 | VERTICAL WIFE
INTRO
We all know the storybook ending – “And, the prince and the princess lived happily ever after.” What little
girl hasn’t dreamed for her prince charming to come along? Yet, when the magic spell is broken and reality
sets in, our relationships are anything but a fairytale. This battle between men and women has been going on
since Adam and Eve ate that forbidden fruit. This week we take a closer look at God’s intent for the selfless
relationship between a husband and a wife and the importance of a woman living in a vertical relationship with
her true Prince. It changes everything!
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
• Many women are looking for a fictional prince charming only to be disillusioned when reality hits. Why do
you think that is? What happens to the relationship when she realizes that he’s not a prince after all?
• Let’s Go Back to the Beginning…
When God made Adam, he said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
(Genesis 2:18). What does this really mean? The Hebrew words are ezer kenegdo. Ezer means power, strength –
lifesaver. The only other time ezer is used in the Bible is referring to God himself – our Lifesaver. Kenegdo can
be translated as “similar” or “corresponding to” Adam. So, man and woman are similar but uniquely different.
God’s intent was to make a “power and strength” (lifesaver) for man who would in every way “correspond to”
him. Then, God performs the first marriage and unites the man and woman into “one flesh.”
• How does the definition of “ezer kenegdo” change your thoughts on what “helper suitable for him” means? Describe the difference, if any.
• “One flesh.” For what relationship does God reserve for a woman to be the “ezer kenegdo” to a man?
• Read Genesis 3…The Fall.
Many Biblical scholars believe that what God is describing here is the consequence of eating that forbidden fruit
and turning away from God -- husbands and wives would be in conflict with one another. The husband would try
to rule over the wife while the wife fights to gain control of her husband.
• How accurately is this description of many relationships today? Why?
• How is this different from God’s original intent for marriage?
• Who is missing in a marriage where each fights for control?
VERTICAL MARRIAGE | WK 3 | VERTICAL WIFE
• Growing Your Vertical Relationship with Jesus – The real Prince!
There’s no such thing as a human prince charming but there is One who is your true Prince. When he dwells in
and flows through you, everything changes!
• Psalm 27 – the Lord is your light, salvation and stronghold. How does this Psalm describe a real Prince?
• Galatians 2:20, John 15:5 – When Christ is in us, what happens?
• Philippians 4:12-13. Paul is in prison and tells us how and why he can be content in the most dire of situations. Who is his power and strength?
• Vertical Marriage – Taking everything we’ve looked at so far (and it’s a lot!), now read all of Ephesians
5:21-33. This is Paul’s plea for marriages to return back to God’s original intent where both husbands and wives
submit to one another just as Christ Jesus did for us.
• Looking back on what we’ve studied, what does this mutual submission look like in a marriage?
• If Jesus is living in you, how does that change the way you look at and are willing to submit to your spouse?
• This role of submission of a man and a woman to one another, it’s reserved for only one relationship – marriage. How does our culture misinterpret that today? What are the consequences?
• Understanding God’s intent for her role in a marriage, how might a wife’s vertical relationship with Jesus influence her behavior towards her husband? How might that influence her family?
MOVING FORWARD
Women – Read Proverbs 31:10-31. This is how God sees you! Reflect on who God made you to be and what
your identity is in Christ. Pray about who you are in Him and how you can remain in Him. He is your only true
Prince and rescuer of your soul! Reflect on what a difference it would make in your relationships with others if
you allowed Jesus’ love to flow through you. If you are married, pray for God to lead you to be the ezer enegdo to
your husband.
Men – Read Proverbs 31:10-31. Is this how you see the women in your life? This is how God sees and cherishes
his creation! Pray for God to lead you into understanding your role in honoring all women. Pray for your vertical
relationship with Jesus to help you to do just that. If you are married, think of your wife as your ezer kenegdo.
She might not see herself as that now but pray that she someday will. That’s powerful!
Husbands and Wives – Pray together for your marriage, your family and for your vertical relationship with
Jesus!
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RESOURCES
Need help with your marriage?
Go to kensingtonchurch.org/marriage for resources or to find out how we can help.
Struggling with habits, hang-ups or hurts?
Celebrate Recovery meets at Kensington Troy on Monday nights from 7 to 9 pm and at Kensington Orion on
Tuesday nights from 7 to 9 pm. To find out more, go to kensingtonchurch.org/cr.
If you are living in an abusive or unsafe environment, please know that is not God’s desire for you. He wants
you to be safe. The following are some resources that might help:
Macomb County: Turning Point – 24 Hour Crisis Line – 586-463-6990
Oakland County: Haven – 24 Hour Crisis Line – 248-334-1274
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