November 2015
Vol. 31 No. 11
Playthings
Save those boxes!
Games & Activities
If the supply of boxes is generous and constant, most children will
be delighted to show parents how
inventive they can be.
Made-up riddles
For example: babies crawl into
boxes, sit, and grin. Sometimes they
get stuck and cry. Then they learn
how to back out.
Riddles that kids make up themselves are more fun than any other kind
because they’re personal and unique.
To encourage made-up riddles,
start by announcing you’re thinking
of something and you have three clues
to help guess what it is. Your clues
could be size, color, texture, taste,
smell, use, or form.
For example, you might say, “I’m
thinking of something that is red,
round and it bounces. What is it?”
The child who correctly guesses the
answer—a red ball—takes the next
turn and makes up a new riddle.
Big brothers and sisters occasionally think of putting a string through a
hole punched into a box. Then babies
pull the boxes.
Toddlers think boxes are cars,
boats, and trains. They think very big
boxes are houses.
Ask at an appliance store for a big
box that used to contain a refrigerator.
This big box will make a dandy
puppet theater where the main character is a fierce shoebox crocodile. (The
box top is the lower jaw. Cut jagged
edges on the top for teeth.)
Are the riddles too hard? Too
easy? Too much alike? That’s the nice
part about made-up riddles—they
can be tailored to fit the audience by
adding or subtracting clues to make
them easier or harder.
Some little boxes fit over hand
for hand puppets. Some tiny boxes
fit over fingers for finger puppets.
Best of all, everyone can take a
turn—and you can make up riddles
almost any time or in any place you
find yourselves. o
Other boxes can make a whole
suit of armor where the body pieces
are attached by string at the joints.
There’s also a visor hinged with string
to go up and down.
Middle-sized boxes fit over heads,
with holes for eyes.
Of course, there’s a whole world
that can be made of miniature
boxes—houses, farms for midget
animals, outer space cities that on
closer inspection bulge with exotic
cosmetic boxes, cheese boxes, and
toilet paper tubes. Elmer’s glue holds
it all together.
Oatmeal boxes make rockets. A
paper plate with a wedge-shaped section cut out can be bent into a nose
cone (with some tape to hold it).
Remember cigar boxes? They still
make them. And they still can hold
wonderful, secret treasures that can
be looked at again and again.
Eggs come in boxes (get the
molded kind instead of the folded
kind). And egg box caterpillars are
easy—kids can tear one strip of
bumps from the molded box, draw
some eyes, and there it is!
Why not start a really fun project
everybody can work on: a dollhouse.
First, pile up boxes, one for each room.
Glue them together; cut doors and
windows; fold a piece of corrugated
cardboard into a V for the roof; bend
cardboard into a zigzag for the stairs,
wallpaper with … no, the rest of the
fun is up to you!
Remember: Safety first. No long
strings or cords around infants; monitor use of scissors and other tools. o
Grandma Says
Between the generations
To repeat the well-known quote:
“Why can’t we all just get along?”
A grandmother recently wrote
to ask advice about “interfering” in
the parenting practices of sons and
daughters-in-law.
It is always easy for onlookers to see what would improve any
situation, theoretically, but the active
participants are the ones who must
be comfortable with what they do.
Unasked for advice is almost always
resented and rejected.
She offered two concerns: (1)
Parents who seem to be treating their
children unfairly, and (2) a mother
who was evidently feeling displaced
by the babysitting grandma.
A second idea is that this is truly a
different world in which these young
people are parenting today than that
in which we grandparents raised our
children.
Whew! These are touchy topics, to be sure. And they are fraught
with all the dimensions of complex
relationships, individual and parental
self-esteem—-and generational differences in philosophy. This is to say
nothing of individual past histories
and habits of communication and
interaction.
The complexity of the social
and work environments for today’s
families means that some of our
conventional wisdom does not necessarily apply.
While I certainly do not claim any
expertise in these areas, far removed
from my professional background
of child development, maybe some
general principles would help inform
these considerations.
A third principle is that, though
grandparents can add supportive
relationships and dimensions to family life, the essential characters in the
drama are the nuclear family—the
parents and their own children.
First, everyone has a right to make
individual decisions about how a family will shape and carry out its life.
It is always dangerous for anyone
to get in the mindset that they could
do a better job, or help others do a
better job, if they would only follow
our example or guidance.
We grandparents made our decisions years ago about how we would
parent, and most of us recognize there
were differences as well as similarities
between the ways we did it, and the
ways our siblings and/or friends did it.
Notice I said differences—-not
necessarily mistakes. In just this same
way, our children have a right to make
their decisions, because ultimately
they are the ones who will have to
live with them.
We grandparents must recognize
that our own children have grown, and
must be accorded full adult privileges.
Therefore, contrasting what we
did or think they should do is not
inevitably helpful.
Supporting parents with confidence that they want to do the best
possible job with their children is an
essential grandparent role.
Lastly, nonjudgmental communication is probably the tool that helps
families most.
Opening discussion with parents about how they perceive their
children, how they frame their goals
for parenting, and how they feel
about the role of parenting may give
grandparents both new insights and
new opportunities for strengthening
relationships with their adult children.
Show your love for your grandchildren by allowing their parents to
develop their own potential to grow
and learn. o
Parenting
Get rid of
that grudge!
When you can’t forgive someone,
there can be a ripple effect that negatively infects your family and friends.
A woman writing to advice columnist Dear Abby said: “I have something to say to the millions of families
whose lives are affected by divorce.
An unforgiving person who has not
let go of animosities can poison an
entire family and ruin holidays and
family get-togethers for everyone. I
know. I was that person.”
The writer explained she could not
forgive her former husband and his
new wife, and her children suffered
for her continuing bitterness.
“One day after a particularly harsh
outburst, I suddenly understood the
pained reaction on my children’s faces.
I prayed for strength to change my
ways so I could stop hurting those I
love most in the world.”
Although it was difficult for her
to extend forgiveness, she did so, and
says: “I have peace in my heart and
my children are happy. They are free
to enjoy both homes.”
Forgiveness is a priceless gift that
you can give to yourself and your
family. o
Infants & Toddlers
Learning is watching, tasting, throwing
Once a baby is sitting up by
himself and looking around, usually
by six or seven months, he becomes
a “watcher.”
At first, he lets go simply by relaxing the hand completely when his
attention is distracted from the object
he’s holding.
This is something new and different for him. He now has a different
view of the world which he enjoys
and which makes him feel important.
Voluntary release—letting go
when he wants to—is a more difficult
skill and is learned in several stages:
casting (throwing), exaggerated letting
go after putting the object down, and
controlled letting go.
He’s probably pulling himself up
in his bed and playing with his toes,
rolling around on the floor, and reaching for his toys, making new noises,
and trying to “talk” to you.
He is now using his hands, mouth,
and tongue to touch and explore
things.
If you give him a plastic cup, he
will probably look at it, feel it, mouth
it, and end up banging it against
something.
This is how he learns about the
size, texture, taste, and weight of the
objects within his reach.
You can encourage his natural
curiosity by exposing him to a variety
of carefully selected objects.
Allow him to reach for and feel
such natural things as snow, leaves,
rocks (only with supervision). Talk to
him about the shape, feel, and textures
of the objects.
At mealtime give him a small
unbreakable juice glass and a spoon.
Continue to feed him but let him try
to feed himself.
At this age, a baby has learned
to grasp quite well, although precise
thumb/forefinger pick-up is not yet
fully developed.
He is also beginning to learn how
to “let go.”
As Baby begins to develop voluntary release, he finds it necessary
to straighten his whole arm in order
to straighten his fingers and open
his hand.
In other words, he throws the
object in order to release his grasp
on it. This usually begins at about
seven months.
At first Baby throws just to let go
of whatever he is holding.
Soon he begins watching to see
where the object goes and listening
to the sound it makes when it strikes
something.
Eventually he begins to throw
things just to see what happens.
These are all learning behaviors.
They may be hard on Baby’s caregivers for a time, but throwing is an
important part of learning.
Baby is not just doing it to be
“bad” or get attention.
He is learning how to let go of objects when he wants to and is learning
a lot about cause and effect and about
gravity which makes every object go
down and out of reach.
But what can you do to let your
child learn these essential lessons
without being completely at his beck
and call to retrieve things thrown on
the floor?
Some objects or toys can be fastened to the high chair with a short
cord or piece of elastic. Now Baby
has a new experience to learn about.
Some things he throws fall to the
floor—but others don’t!
He will learn that the ones on cord
or elastic can be pulled back up, and he
will begin to retrieve them himself. o
Something New!
“Grandma Says” is a twice-monthly
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parenting tips, words of encouragement, and children's book reviews.
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www.growingchild.com
1
Sunday
3
Monday
4
5
6
TuesdayWednesdayThursday
November, 2015
2
Make up a rhyme with
your name in it.
"One and two,
My name is Sue."
Friday
7
Saturday
Take a trip to a local art
museum.
Name something that is
red, white and blue.
Answer yes or no:
• The sun is shining.
• I love apples.
• My name is Oscar.
• I can roller skate.
• Today is Saturday.
Where is the Amazon
River? Look it up.
13
Attend a high-school
sporting event.
Swap chores with
someone.
12
What is an encyclopedia?
Where can you find one?
21
Blow bubbles outside.
11
Learn to say "hello" in
another language.
20
Read one of the "George
and Martha" books by
James Marshall.
If you had a pet cheetah,
what would you name it?
Veterans Day
Who are our
veterans?
19
What color are your shoes
today?
25
Thanksgiving Day.
26
Learn to sing a round.
27
Eat an orange.
28
Do you have a bad habit?
How can you begin to
overcome it?
14
Which words rhyme with
"sunny?"
1. sugar
2. money
3. funny
4. something
5. bunny
18
Name one of your family
"traditions."
10
What does it mean to
"hold your tongue"?
17
How many noses are there
in your house? Are you
sure?
23
9
16
Tell a story or read to
someone older than you.
8
15
Draw a picture of a tree
beside a house.
22
A good rule: Give other
people the benefit of the
doubt.
31
Count again.
Make faces on cupcakes
with sprinkles and
gumdrops.
Today is Sunday.
What's tomorrow?
30
24
29
Help dust a room in the
house.
Can you sing a song
all by yourself?
Go on a loose change
search.
Practice bouncing a ball.
Practice singing a song.
Can you sing and bounce
at the same time?
WOW!
Growing Child and Growing Parent are published by Growing Child, Inc. P. O. Box 2505 W. Lafayette, IN 47996 ©2015 Growing Child, Inc. All rights reserved. ISSN: 0193-8037.