CONVERSATIONS WITH
TEENAGE CHILDREN:
A MOTHER’S GUIDE
Salome Ratnarajah & Madeline Storey 2015
Sa
PREFACE
Both mothers and fathers have an important role in
shaping the future of their children. As girls and boys
enter into adolescence, they should receive the same
information so that they know what is happening to their
bodies and what is happening to others so that they do
not feel alone. Adolescence is a key stage of life, when
a lot of changes occur and important decisions need to
be made which impact both one’s present and future.
As your children grow up beyond the stage of
adolescence and have families of their own, they will
have to teach their children too.
Talking to your daughter about changes happening to
her body from personal experiences is a good way to
engage her attention. Fathers should also share their
personal experiences with their sons for a better
understanding of body changes and feelings while they
happen. Your role in the health and wellbeing of your
children at this stage will play a vital part in guiding your
children to leading fulfilling and healthy lives of their
own.
1
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
We would like to whole heartedly thank our partners for their support.
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
PART 1: HAVING THE CONVERSATION WITH MY CHILDREN ABOUT SRH
What is Sexual and Reproductive Health (SRH)? …………………………………. 4
A child who receives SRH education and one who does not …………………….. 6
Is it appropriate for me to talk to my children about SRH? ……………………….. 7
Getting additional support in the community ……………………………………..... 8
Whose responsibility is SRH education? …………………………………………… 9
What is the importance of talking to my daughter about SRH? ………………… 10
Some common myths ……………………………………………………................ 11
Having the conversation with my children about SRH ……………………………14
PART 2: WHAT IS MY CHILD GOING THROUGH?
Menstruation ..................................................................................................... 15
Menstruation Myths ………………………………………………………………….. 23
Wet Dreams ...................................................................................................... 25
Puberty .............................................................................................................. 28
Sexual Intercourse ............................................................................................ 30
Pregnancy ......................................................................................................... 31
Contraception .................................................................................................... 37
Family Planning ................................................................................................. 39
Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) .............................................................. 41
Reproductive Tract Infections (RTIs) ................................................................. 43
Sexuality............................................................................................................ 45
Substance Abuse .............................................................................................. 47
Stories ............................................................................................................... 50
3
PART 1: COMMUNICATING
WITH MY CHILD
WHAT IS SEXUAL AND REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH?
Sexual Reproductive Health (SRH) is the health relating to sexuality and
reproduction. It covers a range of areas, all in relation to adolescence and the
transition into adulthood.
What does SRH cover?
In SRH, children learn about the anatomy of their own bodies as well as of the
bodies of the opposite gender, including the locations and functions of different
parts. Menstruation for females and wet dreams for males are also taught.
SRH covers sexuality and relationships with the opposite gender, including what
is and is not appropriate. Regarding relationships, sexual intercourse and
pregnancy are also elements that are covered, as well as contraception and
sexually transmitted infections (STIs). This manual will discuss all of the
mentioned topics in detail.
4
What is the importance of SRH education for my children?
SRH education is extremely important for your children, as it will give them
understanding and awareness of the changes that their body goes through as
they enter into adulthood, as well as equipping them with the knowledge to make
wise decisions as they grow up. These decisions will enable your children to
protect and look after their own bodies as well as others’, and as a result,
improving their wellbeing as well as the wellbeing of others’.
HIV & AIDS, teenage pregnancy and substance abuse are all prevalent amongst
young people who do not get the proper education. 15 to 29 year olds make up
31% of AIDS sufferers. Therefore, education on SRH is vital in avoiding these
problems in the generation of your children, as well as in generations to come.
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A CHILD WHO RECEIVES SRH EDUCATION VS.
A CHILD WHO DOES NOT
What would be the difference between a child who receives SRH education and one who does
not?
A child who does
 Is confident in who they are
 Is confident in their body and the
changes they go through
 Knows how to take care of
themselves and their peers
 Knows how to maintain their
health
 Is able to help others during
puberty
 Knows how to plan for the future
 Knows how to have appropriate
and healthy relationships with
others
 Knows how to make effective
use of helpful products and
services and where to find them
 Knows where to get reliable
advice
 Is able to build a good trust and
support network
A child who does not
 Unsure of themselves and their
identity
 Worried or scared as their body
goes through changes
 Does not know how to help and
support others in terms of SRH
 Makes poor decisions regarding
their health and the health of
others
 Does not know how to plan a
healthy lifestyle for the future
 Is unable to tell the difference
between appropriate and
inappropriate relationships
 Grows up without having
complete knowledge of the
elements of puberty and
adulthood
 Seeks help from unreliable
sources
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IS IT APPROPRIATE FOR ME TO TALK TO MY
CHILDREN ABOUT SRH?
Yes, you will be one of the best sources of information for your children, as you
are someone that they can trust and rely on. Though it may be awkward at first, it
will be a way of strengthening your relationship. Your children may find other
sources of information which may be incorrect or misleading if they do not hear it
from you. Especially with your daughter, you have also been through the same
things as her, and therefore it is most appropriate to talk to her about it.
When is the right time for me to talk to my children about SRH?
The time you decide to discuss certain topics with your children will vary.
Children may have questions from a young age and it is best to answer them
appropriately so they are well informed. Girls and boys go through puberty at
different times, so you may want to start earlier for girls, as they begin puberty
earlier, to prepare them.
Appropriate information should be given to children at all times depending on
their age. Younger children need to know little compared to older children.
Adolescents will also need varying amounts of information depending on their
age. For example, younger adolescents beginning to go through puberty will
need to know about the changes happening to their bodies as puberty can be a
confusing time for them. Older adolescents will need to be aware of a wider
range of topics such as STIs.
What will my child think of me?
Though there might be discomfort when conversing on SRH at first on both
sides, your children will appreciate your initiative. They will be able to look to you
for support and answers, knowing that they can trust you and that you are
interested in their wellbeing and development.
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GETTING ADDITIONAL SUPPORT IN THE
COMMUNITY
As a mother, where can I go for support in the community?
In the community, there is the Integrated Child Development Program (ICDP),
the Angawadi and the Auxiliary Nurse Midwife (ANM). These all can support you
in your role in the SRH education of your children.
Where shouldn’t I go for SRH advice for my children?
Places like shops, Jadibutis, RMPs, dais and witchdoctors or those who do black
magic, are not reliable sources of information or advice. They may have opinions
or information for you, but it will not necessarily be correct or trustworthy.
What are the consequences if I do not go to a registered doctor for SRH
information and advice?
Not getting your information from doctors, but from unreliable sources may result
in many negative consequences. These include RTIs, STIs and infertility.
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WHOSE RESPONSIBILITY IS SRH EDUCATION?
Is it enough for schools and youth centres to teach SRH to my children?
Do I need to add to that?
What is taught on SRH at schools and youth centres may not be enough for your
children. Some schools may even skip these topics. It is better for you to add to
what your children already know as you are someone they can always come to
for support, and you have an intimate relationship with them. You will be able to
give them reliable advice, even based on your own experiences.
Is it my responsibility to educate my son on SRH?
You can educate your children, irrespective of gender, on SRH. However, for
specific gender-related details, if you are more comfortable for your husband to
teach your son, then that is advisable. Your husband would have first-hand
experience and knowledge on SRH for males and therefore will be a better
source of information for your son.
Where can I send my children for SRH education?
As a mother, you are one of the best people who can educate your children on
SRH, however, there are other sources of information as well. Restless
Development is a youth-led agency, with one of its main focuses being on young
people and health. They conduct sessions in school, as well as street plays, etc.,
to create awareness of SRH, as well as providing a means to answer some
doubts your children may have regarding SRH and general health and wellbeing.
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WHAT IS THE IMPORTANCE OF TALKING TO MY
DAUGHTER ABOUT SRH?
What are the advantages of talking to my daughter about SRH?
 Better relationship between mother and daughter. You can trust each other
more and be open with each other
 Increased self-respect for your daughter, and respect for you
 Increased knowledge and awareness
 Increased confidence
 Increased health for future generations
 Avoiding diseases and unwanted pregnancies
Is there any point in me telling my daughter about puberty and
menstruation before she begins adolescence or attains menarche?
Yes, as she may be one who begins puberty at an earlier age than others. It will
be good for her to know what will happen to her before it happens. She will be
prepared for what is to come, and as a result, have self-confidence as she enters
adolescence. Your daughter will also know that she can trust you and come to
you if she has any questions or issues in the future.
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SOME COMMON MYTHS
I will be perceived badly if I speak to my children about SRH. – MYTH
Talking about SRH with your children can improve your relationship and the trust between
you and your children. They will see you as someone that they can look up to and come to
for support and advice. It is also good to encourage them to ask you questions so you can
fill in the gaps for them and correct any misconceptions they may have.
I do not need to encourage conversation about SRH with my children, especially if
they are shy to talk about it. – MYTH
Shyness it something to expect from your children on this topic. It is good to encourage
them to talk to you and ask you questions. With your daughter, let her know that you have
been through the same phase and that it is a natural part of growing up. In terms of
menstruation, make it clear to her that it is a sign of a healthy body and that she should
not be shy or ashamed to ask you questions.
Teaching my children about SRH will lead them down the wrong path. – MYTH
SRH education will prepare them for the future and allow them to take care of themselves.
Educating on SRH will give your children knowledge and awareness of their bodies and
the world around them, as well as the consequences of the decisions they make on their
bodies. As a result, it will improve their decision making and confidence in themselves,
equipping them to do what is right, safe and healthy for them and others.
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I’m the only one who needs to speak when discussing SRH with my children. My
children do not need to contribute to the conversation. – MYTH
Allowing your children to ask questions will reveal some thoughts and mindsets of theirs
that may not have been known to you. This will enable them to have a full understanding
of SRH, without any unclarified doubts. Therefore, encouraging a two-way conversation is
advisable. Intimacy and trust will also be created, as a result.
My children will eventually learn on their own. – MYTH
Though children will somewhat learn about the topics of SRH without input from parents or
teachers, their sources of information cannot be trusted and they will most probably not
cover every area in depth. Allowing your children to figure out these things on their own,
puts them at risk, as they will not be learning the right information, or may not even be
learning at all. Speaking to your children about SRH is the safest way for them to learn, as
they can trust you, you have knowledge and experience, and most of all, you are there to
look out for them and lead them in the right way.
I cannot teach my children about SRH because I am not an expert. – MYTH
Even though you may not be an expert, you still do have better knowledge on SRH than
your children do. Your own experience is enough to help them understand SRH, through
sharing your stories with them. You are also the first source of information for them.
My children only need to know about sex, pregnancy and family planning after
marriage. – MYTH
It is important for your children to be educated on these topics before marriage, to give
them the ability to make wise choices before marriage. As a result, after marriage, they will
understand what they are getting into and be a little more prepared for their married life
and the decisions they will be making within it.
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There is no such thing as a wrong question. – TRUE
Your children are curious about many things, especially SRH, as it will be something new
to them as they enter puberty and become adults. They will be filled with questions, most
of which may be uncomfortable for you to answer. This does not mean that they are
‘wrong’ questions; it just means that they must be answered sensitively.
Parents are one of the main role models for their children. – TRUE
As your children live with you, you are their main adult influences in their lives.
Therefore, they look up to you for behavioural clues and advice. Even if you do
not say anything, your children will see the way you act and respond to things as
an individual, and within a relationship. You must be mindful of this, as your
children will often become a reflection of you.
It is better to be honest and truthful about everything to your children,
especially in the long run for their future. – TRUE
Giving your children factual and honest information will allow them to trust you
and see you as someone they can always come to. They will be knowledgeable
and able to make appropriate decisions on their own as they have been told the
truth. In the future, with their own families, they can also carry out the same
practice.
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HAVING THE CONVERSATION WITH MY CHILDREN
ABOUT SRH
What are some challenges I may face?
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Feeling discomfort when sharing information on SRH
Feeling scared about what your children may think of you
Framing your words correctly and appropriately
Your children may be too shy to ask questions
Your children may remain closed up as you have this conversation
Your children may not want to have this conversation with you
What are some ways of overcoming these challenges?
 Being honest with your children about your feelings about having this
conversation with them
 Giving and receiving support to and from your husband
 Sharing your own personal experience on the different areas of growing up
– what your own parents told you and any challenges you faced
 Encouraging your children to ask questions and speak freely to you
 Explaining the importance of the topic of SRH and describing it as a natural
part of life
 Making it clear to your children that you want to help them and be there for
them as they journey through life and enter into adulthood
 Explain to your children that you have been through the same life stage as
them and that you are now there for their support and guidance
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PART 2: WHAT IS MY
CHILD GOING THROUGH?
DAUGHTERS
MENSTRUATION
What is it?
Menstruation (also known as ‘periods’) is a process in which a female bleeds
through the vagina. This is a natural process and a part of growing up for a
female. This blood is the lining of a female’s uterus (or womb) which is shed. The
blood flows from the uterus through an opening in the cervix, and out through the
vagina.
Why does it occur?
Females have the ability to carry new life inside them. Inside a female’s ovary,
there are thousands of eggs. Every month, one egg is released. It travels down a
tube called the fallopian tube, to the uterus. At the uterus, a thick lining of blood
and tissue builds, in preparation for a baby to grow inside. If a male’s sperm cell
fertilises the female’s egg, the egg will attach to the lining, and will develop into a
baby. However, most of the time, a sperm cell does not fertilise the egg, so the
unfertilised egg leaves the uterus lining and then leaves the body through the
vagina, in the form of blood.
Is menstruation abnormal or something to be worried about?
No, menstruation is completely normal and is a sign of a healthy body.
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Around what age does it occur?
Menstruation normally begins between the ages of 10 and 15 years.
How often does it occur?
Periods occur once in every 26-40 days.
How long does a period last for?
Approximately 3-6 days. In the first few years of having your periods, it may be
common to have longer periods.
When will one stop having my periods?
Periods will usually stop at ‘menopause’, which is a stage occurring around the
age of 45-50 years.
What is a menstrual cycle?
A menstrual cycle is a monthly cycle counted from the first day of one period, to
the first day of the next period. Females who get their periods regularly will have
regular menstrual cycles. This will allow someone to predict when their next
period will be due. An average menstrual cycle is 28 days long, however, some
cycles can be irregular, and can range between 21 to 35 days long.
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How can I prepare my daughter for menstruation?
Your daughter will begin menstruating between the ages of 10 and 15, and it is
essential for you to prepare her for it. Before it begins, you can let her know what
menstruation is and that it may start soon for her. Let her know that it is a normal
process for girls and that she should not be worried when it initially begins. The
fine details of menstruation do not all need to be given in one go, but gradually,
over time. Informing your daughter about menstruation before it starts will allow
her to know what to expect and have confidence. Once menstruation begins,
provide her with pads and show her how they are to be used. Explain the
duration of periods and how often they will occur. Also explain any side effects
that she may face during this time and let her know that she can come to you if
she has any questions or worries. It is also good to check up on her to see how
she is coping, especially for the first several months of her having her periods.
What types of napkins are available and how are they used?
Clean cloths, pads and tampons are the recommended materials during
menstruation. Pads are worn and attached on top of underwear to contain the
blood. Tampons are inserted into the vagina. It is good to start off with using
pads, and then your daughter can decide what she is comfortable with.
How can a pad be made with cloth or cotton?
Cotton can be placed on top of a cloth, and then wrapped up by the cloth in a flat
strip. This can then be placed on top of underwear.
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What if my daughter’s periods are irregular?
Your daughter’s periods are likely to be irregular during the first few years. Encouraging
her to keep track of her periods on a calendar is a good idea to see how regular her
periods are. As the years go by, her periods should become more regular. You may take
her to see a doctor if you are concerned about the length of her periods or irregular
menstrual cycles. However, slightly irregular periods are nothing to be worried about.
Why might one have irregular periods?
Slightly irregular periods are common for every female. They are caused by hormonal
imbalances and can be treated easily. Some common causes are:
 Stress
 Significant weight loss or weight gain
 Significant changes in diet
 Certain medications
 Illness
 Smoking
 Excessive alcohol use
How heavy can the blood flow be?
The blood flow varies from person to person. It can be light, moderate, or heavy. In a
normal period, around 4 to 12 tablespoons of blood will be lost. Initially, once a period
starts, the blood flow will be quite light, but will quickly increase. After the first three or four
days, the flow will decrease and will be light again, until it finishes.
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How often does one need to change their pad or cloth?
A pad or cloth must be changed before it becomes soaked with blood. This is
approximately every 4 to 8 hours, but this depends on how heavy the blood flow is. Even if
the pad or cloth does not become wet, it should be changed every 4 to 5 hours.
How can the cloth used for menstruation be cleaned and dried?
The cloth should be cleaned by hand, separate to other clothes. A separate soap should
also be used for this purpose. It should be dried in the sunlight, not in a dark place. This
will ensure that the cloth will not come into contact with unhygienic things, and will avoid
the possibility of infections as a result. Cloths can be washed, but must also be changed
periodically.
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What can improper hygiene lead to?
Proper hygiene is essential, especially during menstruation. Lack of hygiene can
also result in many diseases caused by germs and parasites.
 Unclean sanitary pads: bacteria can travel up the vagina and into the
uterine cavity, causing infections
 Infrequent pad changing: soaked pads can cause irritation to the skin and
infections if the skin becomes broken
 Wiping from back to front: bacteria can move from the bowel to the vagina
and cause infections
 No hand washing after changing a sanitary pad: can spread germs and
infections
Is white discharge normal? How can one tell when it is normal?
White discharge can sometimes be seen when wiping the vagina, or on
underwear. It is normal and occurs as a way of ridding dead cells and bacteria in
the vagina, to keep it clean. However, when the discharge appears to be a yellow
colour and/or is quite sticky, that is when it is abnormal, and will need doctor’s
attention. This may be because of reasons such as a reproductive tract infection,
sexually transmitted infection, yeast infection or vaginitis.
What problems might one face during menstruation?
Side effects during menstruation are normal. Common side effects include:
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Stomach cramps
Back pain
Feeling emotional
Weakness
Cravings for certain food
Fear
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What are some ways of overcoming the problems faced during
menstruation?
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
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Washing regularly
Wearing cotton underwear
Wearing loose clothing
Eating healthy foods
Drinking lots of water
Light exercising
Taking lots of rest
Using hot water packs on areas which there is pain
Talking out problems with close ones
Sharing and/or expressing feelings in a desired way, e.g. writing in a
journal
 Treating oneself
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What shouldn’t my daughter do during this time?
If using napkins or pads during your periods, she should not go swimming or be
in water. With tampons, it will be alright. Tampons may also be better to use
when doing vigorous activities. It is also better to avoid wearing white or light
coloured clothing during this time, due to the possible appearance of stains
through your clothes.
Does my daughter need to stay at home for the whole duration of her
periods?
In terms of going out, your daughter can do everything as normal when on her
periods, such as going to school or the mall. She does not need to stay at home
the whole time. You may want to share some cultural or religious practices during
this time with your daughter, such as temple attendance.
When should I take my daughter to see a doctor?
You should take your daughter to see a doctor when one or more of the following
happens:
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



her periods last longer than a week
she goes longer than 3 months between periods
she has an unusual amount of pain
she bleeds in between your periods
her periods started off regular but became irregular
she has to change your pad too often (it gets soaked up within 1 or 2
hours)
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MENSTRUATION MYTHS
If a girl is not menstruating by the age of 10, she is not normal. – MYTH
Many girls begin menstruating after the age of 10. If she gets her periods a few
years after this, it is completely normal. If a girl does not get her periods by the
age of 16, however, you should take her to see a doctor.
If a girl is very thin, she will not begin menstruating. – MYTH
The size of a girl will not affect whether or not she will begin menstruating.
Menstruation is a process that females go through, regardless of their weight.
A girl cannot play while menstruating. – MYTH
Girls can play as normal and go outside while menstruating. She may just feel
tired more easily or uncomfortable, but other than that, there is nothing wrong
with her playing while having her periods.
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A girl cannot touch pickles while menstruating. – MYTH
There is no relation between the two. Nothing will happen if a girl touches pickles
while menstruating.
A girl cannot go to school while menstruating. – MYTH
It is fine for a girl to go to school while menstruating, just as it is fine for her to go
outside and go about her usual business during this time. There is no need for
her to avoid learning or being in a school environment while having her periods. It
is only necessary that she remembers to take extra pads with her when she goes
to school.
The blood that leaving the body during menstruation is impure. – MYTH
There is nothing wrong or impure about the blood leaving the body during
menstruation. The blood is only the shedding of an unfertilized egg in the female
body, as a way of leaving the body. It is a natural and healthy process.
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SONS
WET DREAMS
What are wet dreams?
Wet dreams, also known as “nocturnal emissions”, are when males ejaculate
while asleep. Ejaculate means to release semen from the penis. Usually a wet
dream happens while having a dream about sex and can happen without
touching the penis.
Do girls have wet dreams?
No. Females have different reproductive organs, so they do not experience wet
dreams. Wet dreams only happen to males, like how menstruation only happens
to females.
Why do they occur?
When your son goes through puberty, his body starts producing the male
hormone testosterone that is released in sperm. During puberty, boys start
having erections at all different times of the day (at school, while watching TV, in
the shower, during sleep). Semen can build up inside the body and gets released
with a wet dream.
Are wet dreams abnormal or something to be worried about?
Wet dreams are a normal part of puberty. There's nothing you can do to stop wet
dreams. Even if your son has a lot of wet dreams, it does not mean there is
anything wrong with him.
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Around what age do they occur?
Wet dreams start at puberty and can happen until adulthood.
How often do they occur?
Wet dreams occur differently for each male. Some may only have a couple of wet
dreams during their entire life and others will find they have a few every week.
What should my son do if he has a wet dream?
If your son wakes up to find that he has had a wet dream, he should clean his
penis and testicles with soap and water. If he feels guilty or uncomfortable about
having wet dreams he should talk to someone. Encourage him to talk to you and
your spouse, a doctor, a counsellor, or another adult they trust.
When will my son stop having wet dreams?
Wet dreams usually decrease after puberty because hormone levels become
stable in the body. They may still happen in adulthood, but less regularly.
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How can I prepare my son for wet dreams?
Talk to your son about the physical and hormonal changes happening to his body
during puberty. When you notice him starting to go through puberty, you may
want to ask him if he has noticed any changes in his body or feelings. You can
also mention wet dreams to him if you feel ready, or encourage him to talk to you
about changes in his body so that you can help him.
What are the side effects my son may feel during this time?
Boys can feel self-conscious and worried when they first experience wet dreams.
Re-assure him that they are normal and recount a personal experience for him if
you feel comfortable.
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GENERAL
PUBERTY
What is puberty?
Puberty is the time when your body begins to change and develop, as you move from
being a child, into becoming an adult. It is a time of very fast growth, and is normal for
every person to go through.
When will puberty occur?
Puberty occurs between the ages of 10 and 14 years. It usually begins slightly later for
males.
What are reproductive organs?
Reproductive organs are what men and women have that allows them to create
new life. For men they are the testes, scrotum and penis. For women they are
breasts, vagina, uterus and ovaries.
What will happen to my daughter during puberty?
During puberty, hormones (chemicals) are released from the brain, which go and work in
different parts of the body. For females, the hormones cause the production of eggs in the
ovary and prepare her for menstruation. Other physical changes include:
 Breast development
 Growth of pubic hair and underarm hair
 Growth of darker hair on arms, legs and upper lip
 Widening of the hips
 Increase in height and weight
 Increase in muscle size and strength
 Increase in perspiration
 Vaginal discharge
 Appearance of spots and acne
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What will happen to my son during puberty?
For males, hormones travel through their blood to the testes in the scrotum, causing the
production of testosterone and sperm. Testosterone makes most of the changes in the
male body at this stage. Sperm is what is needed for a male to be able to reproduce.
Other physical changes include:
 Increase in the size of the penis and testicles
 Growth of pubic hair and underarm hair
 Growth of darker hair on arms, legs and chest
 Increase in height and weight
 Increase in perspiration
 Broadening of the body
 Body becomes more muscular
 Voice deepens
 Appearance of spots and acne
Are all the changes during puberty physical changes?
Additional to physical changes, there are also emotional changes that are common during
puberty. There is increased self-awareness during this time, where one discovers and
develops their identity, goals, ambitions and what kind of person they are. Sexual feelings
also develop during this time, viewing members of the opposite gender in a different way.
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SEXUAL INTERCOURSE
What is sexual intercourse?
Sexual intercourse is what a female and a male do to show their love for each
other and to create a baby. It involves the interaction between a male and
female’s reproductive organs. Sexual intercourse should only be practiced in a
respectful relationship when both people are ready.
What are the outcomes of intercourse?
Pregnancy does not happen every time you have intercourse, but there is always
a chance. Intercourse can also lead to HIV/AIDS or STIs if not practiced safely.
Besides this, it is a time of bringing a couple together, to show their love for each
other.
When is it okay to have intercourse?
Different people feel ready to have intercourse at different times in their life. Having
intercourse should always be thought about maturely as there are consequences. The
timing must be discussed and most importantly, agreed upon, by both people in the
relationship. It is never alright to have intercourse forced upon someone.
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PREGNANCY
How does it happen?
A female becomes pregnant when an egg that is released from her ovary
becomes fertilised by a male sperm cell, and then attaches itself to the uterine
wall to begin developing into a baby. This is a likely result of sexual intercourse.
Does sexual intercourse always lead to pregnancy?
No. Contraceptive methods can be used to decrease the chances of pregnancy.
Becoming pregnant also depends on which stage of the menstrual cycle a
woman is in when having sexual intercourse. Usually, having unprotected
intercourse during the time a woman is ovulating will be the highest chance of
her getting pregnant (approximately 14 days after her period ends, depending on
the length of her cycle). Some women also may not have the ability to become
pregnant for different reasons, such as illness.
How long does pregnancy take?
It takes 9 months for a fertilised egg develop into a baby, ready to be born.
Regular visits to the doctor should be made throughout this period of 9 months,
to ensure the health of both the mother and the baby.
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Who determines the sex of the baby?
The sex of a baby is determined by the father. Human beings all have a pair of sex
chromosomes that determine their sex. Females have XX chromosomes and males have
XY chromosomes. An unfertilized female egg will carry an X chromosome, while the
sperm that fertilizes it will carry either an X or Y chromosome. When a child is conceived,
the mother’s X chromosome will join onto either another X or a Y chromosome, which will
depend on the male sperm. If two X chromosomes pair up, the child will be female. If an X
pairs with a Y chromosome, the child will be male.
What are some symptoms of pregnancy?
Every woman is different, and therefore the symptoms in her body will also be
different. Some may get most of the symptoms, while some may only get a few.
Not every symptom is specific to pregnancy, so it may be a cause of anything.
The following are some of the most common signs of pregnancy.
 Missing as period
 Fatigue
 Food aversions or cravings
 Nausea
 Vomiting
 Swollen or tender breasts
 Widening or darkening of the nipples
 Headaches
 Mood swings
 Dizziness
 Cramps
 Frequent urination
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How can one know for sure if they are pregnant or not?
Though a female may have the above symptoms, a pregnancy test can be used to confirm
whether they are pregnant. This is in the shape of a stick and can be bought at a local
pharmacy or medical shop. These tests can be taken at home, just by urinating on the
stick. The stick will detect whether a hormone called “human chorionic gonadotropin”
(hCG) is present in the urine. HCG is produced as soon as a fertilised egg attaches to the
wall of a female uterus. Blood tests can also be taken at a local doctor’s for further testing
and confirmation.
When should one take a pregnancy test and will it always be accurate?
It is best to take a pregnancy test about a week after a missed period was due. Urine
pregnancy tests are approximately 97% accurate. Very rarely, a false-positive may be
shown on the test. This means that the user is actually not pregnant, while the test says
that they are. It is good to take another pregnancy test or see a doctor if any doubts or
concerns exist.
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How does one take care during pregnancy?
PRE-NATAL CARE (before birth)
Taking care of yourself before and during pregnancy is vital for your own health as well as
your baby’s. It will also increase your chances of a safe delivery. Some ways to ensure
prenatal care are:
 Regular visits to your doctor
 Avoiding all alcohol, smoking and drug use
 Moderate exercising (however, talk to your doctor about exercise options and do
not exert yourself)
 Eating frequent, small meals
 Eating foods which are rich in iron and protein
 Avoid eating greasy and spicy food
 Avoid traveling for periods longer than 6 hours
 Getting enough rest
What should doctor’s visits involve?
 Ultrasounds
 Blood tests
 Monitoring your weight and blood pressure
 Monitoring your baby’s growth
 Discussing exercising and diet
 Clearing any doubts or confusions you may have with your doctor
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What is an example of how often I should schedule doctor’s visits?
 Every month in the first 6 months of pregnancy
 Every fortnight in the 7th and 8th months of pregnancy
 Every week in the 9th and final month of pregnancy
What are some warning signs that I should visit my doctor during pregnancy?
 Vaginal bleeding
 Severe swelling of your face or fingers
 Dizziness
 Severe nausea or vomiting
 Change in your baby’s movements
 Illnesses or infections
 Dim or blurry vision
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How does one take care after pregnancy?
POST-NATAL CARE (after birth)
After the baby is born, a mother’s post-natal period lasts from about 6 to 8 weeks. Many
steps need to be taken to ensure the health of the mother and the newborn, both
physically and emotionally. These involve:
 Resting well
 Eating the right foods
- low-fat food
- fruits and vegetables
- food with the appropriate balance of protein, fats and carbohydrates
 Abstaining from sexual intercourse for about 4 weeks after delivery
 Making appointments with your doctor to check up and maintain your overall health,
as well as your baby’s
 Begin walking or light exercising
What is the importance of breastfeeding over milk substitutes?
Breastfeeding is strongly recommended for your baby. No preparation needs to be done,
as your breasts will have automatically begun producing milk. Breast milk contains all of
the right nutrition that a newborn needs, in the right proportions. Some of its properties
include protein, carbohydrates, minerals, vitamins, antibodies and growth elements for
your baby. There are also many more advantages of breastfeeding, such as:
 Promoting the baby’s natural and normal development
 Increasing the baby’s speech and jaw development
 Increasing the baby’s visual clarity
 Leads to healthier blood cholesterol levels for the baby
 Promotes a bond between the mother and baby
 Protects mothers against breast cancer, ovarian cancer and type 2 diabetes
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CONTRACEPTION
What are contraceptive methods and how can one use them?
Contraceptive methods or devices are used to prevent pregnancy and/or sexually
transmitted infections (STIs). These are used before, after or during sexual
intercourse. These include condoms, birth control pills, the morning-after pill and
IUDs (intrauterine device).
Condoms: a rubber skin worn over the penis.




Used by men.
Helps prevent pregnancy and some STIs including HIV/AIDS.
Easy to use
Can be used along with other contraception
The Pill: a daily oral tablet taken by women to prevent pregnancy.




Does not protect against STIs
Unexpected spotting of blood may occur at first but it is not harmful
Monthly bleeding becomes lighter after a few months
Some side effects include: headaches, weight gain and nausea. They often
go away over time
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Contraceptive Implants: a small rod that is placed under the skin of a woman’s
upper arm.





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Protects against pregnancy
Does not protect against STIs
Effective from 3 to 7 years, depending on which implant is chosen
A woman should have a trained provider to take out the implant
Unexpected light spotting may occur, or monthly bleeding may stop
This is not harmful
Abstinence: not participating in sexual intercourse.
 Prevents against pregnancy and STIs
 Can be practiced at any age by men and women
Do contraceptive methods always work?
Most are more than 95% effective. Their effectiveness depends on whether they
were used correctly and at the right time.
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FAMILY PLANNING
What is family planning?
Family planning is the method used by couples to plan and control the number of
children they have, the timing of pregnancies and the intervals between children.
This is done through techniques such as contraception.
What methods of family planning are available?
Two main methods are available:
Permanent: These methods permanently prevent the ability to bear children,
through male and female sterilisation. These include:
 Tubectomy (for females)
 Vasectomy (for males)
Temporary: These methods will prevent pregnancies while they are in use. They
can be stopped. These include:
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



Condoms
Oral contraceptive pills
Spermicide
Inter-uterine devices
Diaphragm
Copper-T
Gel
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Who should opt for family planning?
Couples with the desire to have children should opt for family planning. It allows
them to have the number of children they want, while ensuring the health and
wellbeing of both parents, in particular, mothers. In this way, pregnancy-related
risks to health are reduced, as well as unwanted pregnancies, abortions, infant
mortality and HIV/AIDS.
Those who opt for family planning are empowered as it helps them to have more
knowledge on the consequences of their choices, enabling them to make
informed decisions, as a result. Additionally, in countries such as India, those
who opt for family planning help to slow population growth.
Where can I go for family planning?
Centres are available for advice on family planning and your local doctor can also
refer you to some. It is important to discuss permanent family planning methods
with your doctor before choosing to get them done. Temporary methods of family
planning such as condoms and contraceptive pills can be purchased from a
pharmacy. Other methods should be discussed with your doctor also.
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SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTIONS (STIS)
What is an STI?
An STI is an infection that is passed from person to person as a result of sexual
contact, such as vaginal, anal or oral sex.
How can I prevent myself from receiving an STI?
Using contraception reduces the risk of receiving an STI. They do not always
prevent STIs, but decrease the risk significantly. Every sexually active person
should go to a doctor to get tested for STIs regularly.
What are some common STIs and what are their cures?
 Gonorrhoea and Chlamydia: infect the sexual and reproductive organs.
They can lead to infertility but both can be treated with antibiotics from a
doctor.
 Hepatitis B and Syphilis: cause general body infections. As well as through
intercourse, Hepatitis B is also spread by contact with infected blood (an
open wound touching an open wound of an infected person). Hepatitis B
can be treated with antiviral medications from a doctor. Syphilis can be
treated with a penicillin injection or oral antibiotic.
 HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus): a virus that weakens the body’s
ability to fight diseases and causes AIDS. Once it enters the blood, there is
no way of getting rid of it. However, it can be destroyed by good hygiene
including household bleach, heat and soap and water. The virus is not
passed on by shaking hands with or hugging a person infected with HIV. It
is also not passed on from coming in contact with objects such as toilet
seats, doorknobs, or dishes used by a person infected with HIV. The only
ways HIV can be passed from person to person is through sexual
intercourse and coming in contact with infected blood.
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 AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome): attacks the body’s immune
system, destroying the ability to fight off infections. There is no known cure.
What are some symptoms of STIs?




Unusual discharge from genital areas
Rashes, warts or blisters in the genital area
Irritation in the genital area
Abnormal bleeding from the vagina
What are the stages of HIV?
 Acute infection stage: large amounts of the virus are developing in the
body. Flu-like symptoms occur.
 Clinical latency stage: smaller amounts of the virus are still being produced
and symptoms don’t always show. If treated, patients can live for decades.
 AIDs: the infection damages the body so much that the patient is
vulnerable to infection-related cancers.
Are there any signs that someone has HIV/AIDS?
The only way to know for sure if one is infected is to be tested by a doctor. Many
people who are infected with HIV do not have any symptoms at all for many
years. However, some common signs of an infected person include:
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Rapid weight loss
Recurring fever and heavy night sweats
Swollen lymph glands in the armpits, groin or neck
White spots or unusual blemishes on the tongue or in the mouth.
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REPRODUCTIVE TRACT INFECTIONS (RTIS)
What are they?
RTIs are infections which affect the reproductive tract. There are three types:
 Endogenous: result from too much growth of organisms in the vagina
 Iatrogenic: caused by a medical procedure in which the instruments used
were not sterilised properly. These procedures include induced abortion,
menstrual regulation and the insertion of an intrauterine device
 Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs): transmitted through sexual activity
with a partner infected with viruses, bacteria or parasitic microorganisms
What are some consequences of RTIs?
 Miscarriages
 Increased risk of transmitting HIV
 Infertility
 Chronic pelvic pain
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What are some symptoms of RTIs?
Each type of RTI has its own set of symptoms. The following are some common
symptoms of RTIs:




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Itching and pain in the vagina
Unusual vaginal discharge
Painful or uncomfortable intercourse
Pain in the pelvic region
Painful urination
How can they be prevented?
For females, endogenous RTIs can be prevented through good hygiene, in
particular, through taking care of the vagina. This can be done in ways such as:
 Avoiding washing the vagina with harsh soaps. Rinsing with warm water is
enough for the vagina, as it is a self-cleaning organ. Soaps can alter the
natural pH level needed in the vagina.
 Eating a healthy, balanced diet, with lots of fluids
 Practicing safe sex
 Wearing cotton underwear which is not tight-fitting
Iatrogenic RTIs can be prevented by the proper sterilisation of medical
instruments before use.
Sexually transmitted infections can be prevented by:
 Practicing safe sex
 Using contraception correctly
 Communicating with your partner on any infections either of you may have
 Abstaining from sex
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SEXUALITY
What is Sexuality?
Sexuality is the way we feel about our bodies, gender roles and relationships with
others. It is also some of the attitudes and feelings which direct our sexual
behaviour.
Do ‘Sexuality’ and ‘Gender’ mean the same thing?
No. The sex of a person is biological, you are born with it and it cannot be
changed. The gender of a person is cultural, you are not born with it and it can be
changed. People choose what gender they are, either a man or a woman,
because they can choose what clothes they like to wear, what job they do and
how they behave. People can also choose the relationships they are in. The sex
of a person cannot determine their job or status in life. They have a choice.
What is LGBT?
LGBT stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender, which are all terms to
explain someone’s sexuality and/or gender. A lesbian female is one who is
attracted to females, and a gay man is one who is attracted to males. This
attraction may be sexual and/or emotional. A bisexual individual is one who is
attracted to both females and males, sexually and/or emotionally. A transgender
person is one whose gender identity and expression of their gender does not
match with the sex that they were born with.
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What makes a good relationship?
People have a right to choose who to be in a relationship with, and can have
many of them including friends, family and sexual relationships. A good
relationship is about listening to the other person and sharing ideas so their
needs can be met as well as your own. Respect, honesty and faithfulness are
also very important parts of good relationships. In addition, giving and receiving
must be two-way in good relationships.
Why does attraction to the opposite sex exist? What can be done about it?
Attraction towards the opposite sex is a normal feeling and very much a part of
inbuilt human nature. It is not always sexual, as it can often be in the form of
liking or admiring a member of the opposite sex. Attraction does not always need
to be acted upon, though. There can be interaction between males and females,
but as a parent, you will need to inform your children on your expectations for
them with the opposite sex, as well as informing them of appropriate behaviour
for their age and their surroundings.
What is sexual abuse and violence and what can be done about it?
Sexual abuse and violence involves any incident of unwanted sexual contact or
activity that is inflicted on someone. This includes rape, unwanted touching or
kissing, sexual insults, refusing to use contraception and threatening or
pressuring someone into sexual activities. It is important to inform your children
on their rights if they find themselves in situations such as these. They must
especially be educated on their right to say “no” to inappropriate sexual
behaviour and where they can go to for help and support if they ever experience
such things or are on the verge of experiencing them.
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SUBSTANCE ABUSE
What is it?
Substance abuse is the pattern of harmful or injurious use of psychoactive substances
such as alcohol and drugs. This use of psychoactive substances leads to a heavy
dependence on them, and repeated substance use as a result.
What are some of the consequences of substance abuse?
 Not being able to fulfill one’s responsibilities
 Legal problems related to substance abuse
 Using substances in situations which will cause harm to the individual
What are some causes of substance abuse?
 Biological factors: such as family history and genetic predisposition
 Psychological factors: such as curiosity, imitation, rebelliousness, poor control and
stress management
 Social factors: peer pressure, social imitation, lack of support for the individual and
the high availability of alcohol and drugs
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What are some symptoms of substance abuse?
 Neglecting responsibilities
 Using substances in dangerous situations or taking risks while using substances
 Getting into legal trouble due to substance use
 Problems created in relationships due to substance use
 Having a drug tolerance
 Losing control over drug use
 Leaving activities one used to enjoy
 Substance use controls much of one’s life
 Using substances even though one knows that they are hurting themselves
 Resorting to substance use to deal with problems
What are some warning signs of substance abuse that I can look for in my
children?
 Unusual smells on body, clothing or in breath
 Impaired coordination
 Slurred speech
 Changes in sleeping patterns
 Changes in appetite
 Deterioration in physical appearance
 Unexplained need for money
 Getting into trouble frequently
 Decreased attendance or performance in work or school
 Sudden change in friends, habits and hobbies
 Unexplained change in personality
 Frequent and sudden mood swings and outbursts
 Lack of motivation
 Seeming fearful or paranoid with no reason
 Periods of unusual hyperactivity, agitation or giddiness
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How can I help someone who has a substance abuse problem?
 Speak to them about your concerns
 Offer to help them
 Do not try to punish them, preach to them or threaten them
 Do not take over their responsibilities as they will feel no sense of purpose or
importance
Expect to hear excuses and emotional appeals, but do not fall for them. It is important that
you do express to them the reasons for your concerns and that you only mean to help
them.
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STORIES
FROM A MOTHER’S PERSPECTIVE
Anu’s 14 year old daughter has become very distant from her recently. She is
always in her room, using her computer, or on the phone to friends. Every time
she goes to the toilet, she spends extra time in there and always comes out with
an uncomfortable face. It seems like she is always hiding something. Anu has
noticed additional behavioural changes in her daughter, such as extreme mood
swings with her siblings. Her daughter’s body has also been developing.
Ending 1: Anu feels as though her daughter has begun
menstruation but feels uneasy talking to her about it. She thinks
her daughter will only be more distant from her and not
appreciate the help that she can give. Anu’s own mother never
told her about these things until Anu had the courage to ask her
at 18 years. She thinks that her daughter will ask her by herself
if she wants to. Anu just does not want her daughter to lose
respect for her.
Ending 2: Anu decides to talk to her daughter about
puberty and menstruation, explaining what her body is
going through and that it is normal for every girl. She tells
her daughter that it is a sign of a healthy body and that she
is proud that her daughter is becoming a woman now.
Their relationship is no longer distant and Anu’s daughter
feels as though she can come to her mother at any time
for support because she trusts her. She also has so much
more respect for her mother now. Anu is thankful that she
took the step to speak to her daughter about this.
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FROM A DAUGHTER’S PERSPECTIVE
Lily is 13 years old. She has noticed slight changes in her body, especially how
curvy it is becoming. She knows she is growing up, becoming a woman like her
mother. One day, before taking a bath, she noticed blood on her underwear. She
was shocked. It felt as if a lot more blood was coming out of her too. Instead of
bathing, she sat on the floor of the bathroom and cried, thinking something was
really wrong with her. About 10 minutes later, Lily’s mother made her way into
the bathroom, wondering what was wrong, and found Lily in a horrible state.
Ending 1: Lily’s mother quickly explains that the
blood is normal, and gives her a napkin. She
explains that the napkin must be changed whenever
it gets full, and that she will keep some in her room.
She leaves her daughter in the bathroom and never
says anything about it again. Lily feels shy to talk to
her mother now and stays away from her.
Ending 2: Lily’s mother hugs her daughter and explains
that this is part of growing up and becoming a woman.
She tells her how often her periods will come and some
of the side effects she might face while having them. She
provides her daughter with all the supplies she needs
and encourages her to ask her any questions at any time.
She also checks up on her daughter at different times to
make sure she is alright, and to let her know that she is
there for her.
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