My Big Fat Zombie Goldfish:
The Seaquel Script
For this Book Talk you will need:
•5 actors (Pradeep, Tom, Mark, Dad, Old Lighthouse
Keeper (a.k.a. OLK))
•Pradeep: shirt, jeans, running shoes, eyeglasses, air sick bag
• Tom: shirt, jeans, running shoes, flashlight
• Mark: oversized shirt, jeans, running shoes, earbuds, backpack
• Dad: short-sleeved shirt, pants, work boots, fishing hat, tackle box, fishing pole
• Old Lighthouse Keeper (a.k.a. OLK): green raincoat, wool cap pulled down over one eye, rainboots
•Additional props: 8 chairs set up 3 rows of pairs – one behind the other – & one pair facing the
opposite direction at the back to simulate the trunk of the car, sign with the following written on it:
“Welcome to EEL BAY. Don’t feed the eels! ESPECIALLY THE EVIL ONE!”, picnic cooler, copy of
My Big Fat Zombie Goldfish: The Seaquel
(4 characters are sitting in simulated car: John is in drivers seat, Tom & Pradeep are sitting
side-by-side in second row & Mark is on seat behind them, with earbuds in his ears; fishing
pole, tackle box & 2 small suitcases are stacked in makeshift trunk of car; the “Welcome to
EEL BAY…’ sign is posted nearby)
Pradeep: (peering out imaginary window, sounding nervous) That sign said there was an evil eel!
Why is it everywhere we go there is something evil?!
Tom: (looking out his window & replying excitedly) We SO have to find out about that!
Mark: ( getting out of car, pulling earbuds out, flinging backpack over one shoulder & sauntering
away from car; looking off in the distance & sounding annoyed) RIDICULOUS lighthouse…
(looking over at Tom & Pradeep) RIDICULOUS fools... (looking around) RIDICULOUS
vacation.
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Dad: ( Tom jumping out of car & motioning to
Pradeep to help him lug picnic cooler; John
getting out of car, unloading luggage, walking
over to Mark & trying to sound enthusiastic)
Come on, Mark. It’ll be fun! We’ll go fishing
tomorrow. (patting Mark on shoulder for
reassurance; Mark remaining sullen)
Tom: (picnic cooler bouncing around uncontrollably
as boys are holding it; Tom nodding to Pradeep
to set it down & putting his foot on the cooler lid) I, um, don’t want to catch fish, Dad.
Dad: ( looking at Tom & answering matter-of-factly) Well, if you don’t help catch them, you can’t eat
them. That’s the deal on these vacations, isn’t it, Mark? (smiling at Mark; Mark glaring at Tom &
Pradeep then shrugging)
Tom: ( speaking louder, glancing down at cooler) But I don’t WANT to eat – or CATCH – ANY fish…
(taking a quick peak inside cooler)
Pradeep: (putting his hand on cooler to steady it & interjecting supportively) I’ve decided to become a
pescatarian…so I won’t eat fish either.
Dad: (chuckling quietly) Actually, pescatarians eat fish, but no OTHER meat.
Pradeep: (without hesitating) Then I’ll be whatever it is that DOESN’T eat fish. An…anti-pescatarian?
OLK: (limping onstage, speaking in a gravelly mumbling voice) You the city folk? (Tom & Pradeep
exchanging frightened glances) What’s the matter? Cat got your tongues?
Dad: ( extending hand) I’m John, these are my sons, Mark (gesturing to Mark) and Tom (gesturing to
Tom), and this is Tom’s friend, Pradeep (motioning toward Pradeep).
OLK: (nodding at all 3 boys, turning to walk offstage then stopping abruptly & grunting) There’s only
1 rule around her: NO GOING IN THE WATER AT NIGHT. (looking meaningfully at boys) It’s
dangerous enough in the daytime, when we can SEE the eels…but at night they can sneak up
on ya!
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Tom: (gulping) Do you mean the evil eel?
OLK: (spinning around & glaring at Tom, with sign
right between them) Where did you hear about
the evil eel? (sounding agitated)
Pradeep: (matter-of-factly pointing to sign) Um, it says so
right here. (adding) So is it really evil…or just
mostly evil?
Mark: (brightening & nodding lightly) There’s an EVIL
eel? C-O-O-O-O-L!
OLK: (sounding annoyed) It is NOT cool, young man. It’s evil, nasty and a danger to man and boat
alike… (pausing) No one knows where it came from. But, he’s the biggest eel ever to pass
through these waters, and has a jaw that can SNAP an oar in TWO! (muttering under his
breath) Kids today… (shuffling toward the side of the stage)
Dad: ( whispering loudly to Tom & Pradeep) I’m sure he just tells these stories to keep the tourists
interested…
OLK: (stopping, turning around & sternly warning) I wish it WAS just some story. The monster keeps
jumping out of the water, nearly capsizing the boats. People are scared to death of it! (pausing
then adding over his shoulder in a more casual tone) Let’s get some dinner. (exiting with Dad)
Mark: (to Tom) You BETTER not wreck my evil plan. (putting earbuds back in & heading offstage)
Tom: (sitting on picnic cooler & moving around as if something inside is shaking it; speaking to
audience) Wondering what dastardly scheme my mad scientist brother is planning? AND
what’s inside this picnic cooler? Find out by looking for (holding up copy of My Big Fat Zombie
Goldfish: The Seaquel & reading title)
Pradeep: At your Scholastic Book Fair!
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