Sample Graded In-Class Writings
For
Levels 1-6
(Novice-Mid to Advanced)
Disclaimer: These are writing samples collected at my request by teachers in six ESL levels at one of
my institutions. Names and other identifying information have been changed. The “grades” are not official.
I asked the teachers to provide samples of a range of performances on each writing task, from Excellent
to Unsatisfactory.
In-Class Writing: Level 1
Proficiency Level:
Novice-Mid by end of course.
Task:
Write a simple self-introduction or introduction of a classmate.
Task Conditions:
In-class single draft writing. Highly scaffolded and controlled. Model sentences are provided, and
the task is practiced orally beforehand. No strictly enforced time limit.
“A” Papers
This is Julio.
He is from Tijuana Mex.
He speaksspanish.
He is studying english.
He is a student at palomar college.
His teacher is Joanna.
His class is in room A-11.
He is my FRIEND.
He is friendly. (A)
My name is Ma Guadalupe. I am from Mexico. I came to California in 2004. I live in San Marcos. I study
English at Palomar College. My teacher is Angela. (A)
“B” Papers
My name is Efrain. I am from Queretaro. I came California in November 2009. I live in Vista C.A. I study
English at Palomar college. My teacher is Angela. (B+)
My name is Maria
I am from Mexico.
Came to California in
I live in San Marcos. I studay English at palomar college. My teacher is Angela.
he is leonel, his from is oaxaca.
he is a student at Palomar college.
her teacher is Joanna
his class is in ROOM A11. He studying speaks English. (B-)
(B)
“C” Papers
My name is – Calixtra
I am from – Honduras
Came to California in. San Marcos agosto 2,008
I live in San Marcos. CA
English at Palomar college My teacher is Angela.
(C+)
This is Nagely. She is from Mexico DF
She is study English in college. palomar. Her class in Room A 11,
her teacher is joanna, She speak Spanish for your friend (C)
In-Class Writing: Level 2
Proficiency Level:
Novice-High by end of course.
Task:
Write about your daily routine.
Task Conditions:
In-class single draft writing. Highly scaffolded and controlled. The task is practiced orally and with
sample sentences beforehand. Dictionary or notes OK. No strictly enforced time limit.
“A” Paper
I set the alarm clak every night so I can get up at 4:45 am. I walkinto the bathroom. brush my teeth, and
comb my hair. After, I go to the kitchen and make breakfast for my husband and me. After, I call my
husband, and say, “Breakfast is ready” and then I say good-bye to my husband. Then I go make lunch for
my husband and me because during the day I don’t have time. At 7:00 am I eat breakfast; after-may be
7:15 – 7:20 am., I wait outside my house for my co-worker. She picks me up at home and takes me to
work. We take lunch at 12:00 pm – 1:00 pm. I leave work between 4:40 pm – 4:50 pm. I go home, take a
shower, put on my clothes, and after, we go to computer class. It starts at 6:00 pm. After this we go to
English class at 7:00 pm – 9:20 pm. And then we go home, and then we go to bed at 10:00 pm. (A)
“B” Paper
I get up at 5:00 am I walk in to the bathroom and wash my face and brush my teeth Then I take a
shower I get dressed before I eat and drink a cup of coffee Then I do my home-work en the morning
later I get in my car and drive to work I start work at 8:15 in the cable factory I like my work because it
gives me a lot hours (B)
“C” Paper
I get Up at 6:30 am and I walk in to the bathroom and take a shower, Ther I brush my teeth and hair and I
put on my Clothes After this I go to the kitchen and I drink a Cup of COFFee and eat my bread. at 7:40
am I go to work, I start at 8:00 am and Finish at 5:00 pm. and Then I return at home I cook Soup, eat and
Then Im ready for come to school because my class start at 6:00 pm (C)
In-Class Writing: Level 3
Proficiency Level:
Intermediate-Low by end of course.
Task:
Write a description of your hometown.
Task Conditions:
In-class single draft writing. Moderately scaffolded and controlled. The task is practiced orally
beforehand. Dictionary or notes OK. No strictly enforced time limit.
“A” Papers
I’m from Oaxaca – Mexico where the life is so beauty. In my Home Town all the people live there
are so friendly with every body. Most of them are farmers they like to produce vegetables. All the womens
cook every day 3 times a day sometimes, They also make corn tortillas early mornings.
Some womens wash they clothes by hand. The men use donkeys for work and like transportation
when they go far distance. The kids do not watch television all the time or after school, because they
have to help Mom and Dad.
In my town we do not have many cars for transportation, we only use one bus the village have for
go to the city. We do not have Restaurants and movie theathres. In the town the community service is
very important. We do not have supermarkets only open market. Most of the people only eat what they
produce. (A)
I lived in a small village in Guatemala. It is a quiet village. Most of the people work every day. Children are
free to go with their friends out. Children like to play soccer. Dogs are allowed to walk in the
neighborhood’s property. Many people like to have rabbits as their pets.
People in my villag don’t ride the public transportation. (A-)
“B” Papers
In my town, the people are friendly. It is a little town some people work on the field. They sowing corn,
bean, pumpkin and other more things.
They feed cows, hens, sheps, horses differents animals.
Somebody go to the mountain to bring wood for make food.
The children play in the river. They play marbles, hide-and-seek. They walk to school. The students wear
uniforms.
The life in my town is a little hard. Many peple have electrical appliance, but many people don’t have.
Some women make tortillas of corn. (B+)
I’m from Mexico. My city is Oaxaca. My town name is Zooquiapan. It is a small. In my town live almos
2000 peple. The people are friendly, they usually speak their nalive language the children too. Some
people use the animals to help in theire job. Example they use the horse to take firewood, an other tings.
My town don’t have big Super Market the people go to the city to buy tings to they need they use the
buss to go the city.
the woman use the firewood to make tortilla and cook. My town are beatiful (B)
In my town most people work with the land. Plant the corn and beens. Most people have course, dogs,
and cats.
In my town we have a party on january ferts por the new years and Febrary 14 valentin days, May 10
mothers day and, September 15 independence days. Usually we celebrate the birdtday.
In my town the people almost always say how are you. And the neiglhbor sometime are freindle,
beaucase don’t like to pass the dog on his owners. In my town almost always use the course for bring fire
wood or different things.
The people in my town almost always work 8 ours and six days a week.
In my town usually the people have to chicken. The people almost always cry when dead by our famile.
The people almost always have to family in the U.S. (B-)
“C” Papers
May city is Goiauru, Capital the State Goias. My city is in the plateau central, next the DF Brasilia, Capital
of Brazil.
The City have two millions the peoples, it is at big city, with bigs building, then big shopping, good race
track, good stadium the play soccer, fourteen universities, good commerce, the City is good commerce of
agriculture and meat.
May city have big places, good center the medicine and ingeneer.
The City is beautiful, I like my city. (C+)
My hometown is small. the people are friendly. some people like the animals horses caws porks and hens.
some people work hard and save their mony.
my town is beautiful. have beach near some American like.
people don’t use shoes becose is hot.
I love my town. (C)
In-Class Writing: Level 4
Proficiency Level:
Intermediate-Mid by end of course.
Task:
Write a paragraph about a past memory, personal event, or future plan.
Task Conditions:
In-class single-draft writing. The topic is discussed orally beforehand. Dictionary use OK. Time
limit of one hour.
“A” Paper
The day before of the trip I was really ancius to see what will be my first day in the states. Once the plane
started landing I saw all the houses from the air like a blue print, all at the same distance, same shape
and color. Once we arrived to the gate I noticed the difference, everything looked more organize and
clean.
After imigration process I found the first problem that was where did “I need to pick up my luggage?
Surprise never arrived, I was in San Francisco on winter at 11:00 pm with a sweter and my wallet, so I try
to rent the car and my credit card didn’t work so I had to call the hotel to find if they had shuttle service for
pick me up. Once I arrived to the hotel I didn’t have the time to rest because my flight was delayed and I
supposed to be at work at 2:00 am for a inspection of some produce.
I had to ask to the driver if he was able to drive me to the warehouse and pick me up later and fortunally
he had the time. Once I arrived to the warehouse a chinise guy didn’t asked anithing and I had to started
working in a cooler at 35° F without jacket. After eight long hours I return to the hotel, freezing and readey
to go to bed. (A)
“B” Paper
Long time ago wen I crossed the board as ilegal I was very confuse and scared, I still remember
that day.
I went to a seven eleven because I was very thirsty I was confuse, I asked for water, the tender
told me to get it, I walked through the store, my legs was shaking I paid the water with a bill of five and I
left with out my change. (B)
“C” Paper
When I got in the U.S. I was really sorprise special when my brother took me to the mall, for shopping,
than he asked me if I was okay because just for a moment I stayed silent, after that I felt like litle girl
because I never been a place like that. It was so big and nice. (C)
Unsatisfactory Paper
On my first day in the U.S., I was frustrated become my language is not English. Sometime I was feeling
confused become not undarstanding when someone I asking for anything.
To be scared want I need going to go to school because the school is a fair a way.
My surprised more big is want was on the school because to think about the people speak only English.
In-Class Writing: Level 5
Proficiency Level:
Intermediate-High by end of course.
Task:
Write a composition (±250 words) about a past memory, personal event, or future plan.
Task Conditions:
Written in class, or assigned as homework and evaluated as a first draft. The topic is discussed
orally beforehand. Dictionary use OK.
“A” Paper
I remember when I was eight years old, I was playing with one of my brothers. We were cutting
an avocado when I cut myself with a knife one of my fingers of my left hand. That cut was very painful
and I frihtned a lot. My father saw it and he quikly took me to the hospital. There a doctor made me a
surgery. After that on way back home my father scolded me and forbade me to play with a knife no more.
That incident was a big trauma for me. Since then I have a scar on my finger and I’m afraid of the
surgery. (A)
“B” Papers
When I was 14, I liked to play basketball very much with the team in the school. Soon after, our
PE teacher desided to make a big team, we played competition with anothers schools in the same city.
With the time the competitions were much better, then the teacher disided to go against with different
schools in another towns around my city, but that is what started the problems because my parents didn’t
give me permision to play out of the city, because usually those competitions were at night.
I felt very disappointed, and I cried because I didn’t had the permision to play basketball ous side
of the city. For many years I had that trauma of thinking the cause, I didn’t had the support of something
that was very important for me. (B)
My early memory was a trauma. When I was 7, I played with my girlhood friends around the
house. A lot of trees were around the house. When I was climbing a high tree, I heard my brother was
calling me. So I turned around and I fell down from the tree. “Hong, are your OK? Your head has bleeding.
I’ll call mom and dad come here”, my brother said. I felt pain and shock. I was touching my head, my
parents came and lifted me up and hugged me to the clinic. I saw my mom and brother cried. My father
told me, “Don’t be scary. You’ll be fine, baby.”
My girlhood friends followed us. My parents scolded me after a doctor treated me. I knew my
parents loved and looked out for me. I promised my parents, “I won’t climb any tree in the future.” The
people laughed at me. I thought the sounds were hilarious. (B-)
“C” Paper
My name is Samuel. I was born in Lima, Peru, on October 21, 1955. I am living in Carlsbad, CA. I
speak Spanish as my first language.
My earliest memories did not envolve any trauma, but something important happened in my life.
When I was five year old my father died after an automotive accident on Peruvian freeway in
circumstancy that he was driving his truck at nighttime Other driver made an drratic action of it car and a
result my father loose of the car’s control.
So this event generated that my mother had to assumed all my family responsibility and she
started to addresses the education of my sibbius and mine. (C-)
Unsatisfactory Papers
I remember many year ago when I was in an elementary school in Mexico. I remember when the
recess being I see some friends who were playing soccer on a basketball court and I decided go to them
to play, so I went to the basketball court to see if they let me play with them when they let me play they
put me as goalkeeper. When I had the opportunity to score a goal, because the ball was alone, I kicked
and a missing that was very embarrassing because there was nobody covering the soccer goaling. (D)
I rember one of those days when were childrens my with brother one day in the morning looking for
something to do we started to play climb on the trees on top of trees we jump the branch to branch
Sundenly one brach got broken my brother fell down and him got injury but anybody was there to help us
I had to carry my brother to home when we got home my mom said what happen I said the accident she
tell us need to be more carefell. (D-)
In-Class Writing: Level 6
Proficiency Level:
Advanced by end of course.
Task:
Write a composition (±250 words) about a person or event that was influential in your life.
Task Conditions:
Written in class, or assigned as homework and evaluated as a first draft. The topic is discussed
orally beforehand. Dictionary use OK.
“A” Paper
When I was 12 years old, I had a experience that change my way of thinking forever. I went with
my parents and my two brothers to visit my father’s family in a town far away from my town. After 12
hours in the car, we got on the top of a beautiful mountains and finally we found my aunt’s house. It was
the only house in the top of those mountains and had the most beautiful view I ever saw.
The house had only one room with no bed or kitchen. They used to make fire outside to cook
their meals. They also used to eat outside on a old table they had in the patio. It was no electricity or
drinkable water. They used to sleep on the floor, take showers and wash their clothes in the river. But,
they were happy with whatever they had and I learned that weekend that you don’t need much to be
happy. You just need to enjoy what you have. (A)
“B” Paper
Almost 8 years ago, when I was fifteen years old my sister invited me to church. I used to go to
church when I was a little child but I didn’t pay that much attention because of my age. So I went to
church with my sister and when entered the church I felt a peace that I never felt before. I don’t really
remember what the preacher spoke up that day, all I know is that those words changed my life.
That day I realized that there was a great God who loved me, and who wanted to save me.
Before that day He was just a religion for me something that my parents thought me. But since that day I
understood that it is all about having a relationship with him. It really changed my life and the person I’m
now its because of the beautiful day when I received Jesus as my personal savior.
Comments:
“B” paper. A single-draft take home assignment.
“C” Paper
One day I saw a person on the street asking for help, while I was driving I stopped and ask her
what was the problem, of what she replied a person just stole my purse and he is running down the street,
she said he is there wearing a white shirt, so I pressed the gas on my car and went after the person. I cut
his way with my car and this person fell on the ground. I got out of my car and took the purse away, this
person got up really fast and jumped in to a house. So after that we recovered the purse, gave it back to
the woman, she was very happy with tears, hugged me and thank me.
Unsatisfactory Paper
I had got in a car accident four mouths a ago. That sounds like perty awful, but it makes my
realationship between me and my family changed. It let me knew everyone in my family are really care
about me and how important it is, before I got accident. I was thought my parents push me too much.
They always talking about I should get a job to make some money for help family for monthly fee. I didn’t
understant why they doing this is because they worried me not able to get a job without any exprent. But
because that accident I got a change to talk with my parents. So I could knew more about my parents.
Event accident is a bad happen, but it don’t seems bad at all.