A DVERSITY
OVERCOMING
Determined to Succeed
by
Paula Tancredi Penman
M
y father was my mentor; the first in the family to go
the time I had to work harder because I didn’t have emoto college. Known to be an intelligent man, he was
tional support at home. How do you overcome that except
a computer programmer when such a job was new
for determination? And independence naturally follows
and the territory was not yet established. We had a comwhen you feel you are forging ahead alone. I worked all
puter at home long before there were computers in nearly
through college, two to three jobs during the summer, and
every household. I knew my father was smart and felt that
two months after graduation I moved out on my own.
what he did was important. I wanted to emulate that. I was
I went on to not only earn a Bachelor’s degree from
repeatedly told, “You are just like your father.” That was a
Rutgers University, but my M.B.A. from Yale University. I
positive in my mind.
had to defy one parent, but I know I made the other one
My father became terminally ill
very proud.
when I was 10 and died when I was
EDUCATION AND BEYOND
14. Life changes significantly when a
Education is empowerment. It taught
parent becomes ill and passes away.
me to set short- and long-term goals. It
Nothing is the same and nothing can
helped me determine who I was. And
or will ever be the same. I was close to
since college campuses are very political
my father, I look like my father, and I
places, I learned what my political leanwas a constant reminder of my father.
ings were. Education is not merely about
Suddenly the phrase, “You are just like
getting smarter, but about having better
your father,” was not a positive. It felt
self-awareness so you can make better
accusatory because he died and left
choices in life.
us. My mother was grieving and I was
One of my goals in high school was
a constant reminder of the person she
to attend an Ivy League school. With
thought would always take care of our
the help of a friend who suggested I go
family. So life got harder.
to business school and then supported
After my father’s death, my mother
my efforts, I succeeded.
Paula with her son Landon.
tried to talk me out of college. “That’s
My 30s were about establishing a
not what girls do,” she advised. I knew
solid career; I worked hard and found mentors who helped
my father would never have agreed. Fortunately, during
me succeed. Who didn’t help me? Unfortunately, it was my
high school I was sent to a few leadership conferences. They
mother who simply could not see the positive in my efforts.
were held on college campuses, so that enabled me to visit
We no longer have a relationship because the energy of
some schools. Since my mother was not supportive of my
maintaining that relationship required too much relative to
education, I had two choices, either give it up or go it on
what I needed to give to myself at the time.
my own. My choice was obvious.
My 40s are about using my experience to help others; my energy and the wisdom I have gained are
In order to fulfill my dream of going to
directed at my husband and son in addition to some
new areas of my career. I currently work as a marketing
college, I had to defy my mother.
consultant as well as run a small business, Babysmartees.
com, allowing a more flexible schedule that suits my
I didn’t really think too big at that time, and I applied
family. I have also recently become an adjunct profesto three schools that were not very far away. I had the best
sor where I hope to be able to positively guide the next
time at a conference at Douglass College at Rutgers Univergeneration of students.
sity so I made that my first choice. It was a great choice for
I had to overcome obstacles to get where I am today.
me. Douglass is a women’s college within the University.
Through
my experiences I’ve learned the truth of the old
Therefore I was surrounded by many wonderful female role
saying,
“You
get what you give.” So be good to yourself and
models located within a fabulous university with its vastly
be
good
to
others.
You only get one life: live it, love it.
diverse student body and so many educational opportunities. This was the environment that I needed to support the
success I wanted to have.
Determined and independent were probably the two
words used most to describe me – and at times still are. At
12 THE EXCHANGE www.HMExchange.com
Paula Tancredi Penman is a marketing consultant working
from Saratoga Springs, NY. She can be reached at 518-581-8187
or [email protected]
JANUARY 2012