The Iowa Review
Volume 17
Issue 3 Fall
1987
If I'm Bored Saying If I Tell
Robin Reagler
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Recommended Citation
Reagler, Robin. "If I'm Bored Saying If I Tell." The Iowa Review 17.3 (1987): 51-54. Web.
Available at: http://ir.uiowa.edu/iowareview/vol17/iss3/11
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Article 11
run from
We
the sanctified
moon
machine.
If Pm Bored Saying If ITell
1
What
Bodies
I am really thinking:
of insects
Sliced?sliced open
So all the jelly shows from theirworm body
About
Onto
to be
squeezed
the table.
out
I like the pink parts best.
I like the gook inside.
Can I help my hands wanting
to do things to their body?
2
No. But Iwill sit here andwait,
my
Drinking
tea.
Blooding tea (fine fine)
Iwill let you know
When I feel my teeth andwant to do things
To
other
things.
around in a bad way.
I look for a correct thing.
I look
Sometimes
Then
I look at my wrists,
hands start screaming.
my
My hands stop reading
And just scream.
3
I love
Things
I don't
Or
not,
to watch
on television.
care about
just
a story
to watch
people
do things.
51
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I like that.
I feel like doing against-things.
But
I just
then
sit there and watch.
Waiting.
4
Someday I bet something huge
Fucking-to-hell life (and all else) will happen with me in it
People will
have misrealized
what
was
there
Inme (it's inme right now) all that time inme
say little
They'll
there?
surprise-things?so
And I just nod my head.
I drink my tea.
I take care of myself.
Iwait for the huge thing that is going to happen.
It will
come with
silence,
leaving marks
on my
skull.
5
Winter
looked
at me with
horse-eyes
That I believed in.
I believed
that warm
Then
to feel better.
I got
tired of being
would
come,
that way.
The house was full of garbage that I could smell.
I said, "Somebody
should do something."
But no one was in the house when
I said it, not
I figure an answer
Then
I think inmath andwrite down lots of numbers
And shapes. Iwrite little hieroglyphic
Fish fish fish fish antelope
With
white
ears and antlers
crawling
up out
The head. Jelly in the eyes,
La la la looking
Me? Call me
52
into
the eyes. Do
you
trust
even me.
Hmmmmm.
6
On the telephone. I like
To talk on
The phone. I like
Movies
I like
about prostitutes.
Girls but I don't like
Being a girl. I like to cut
My hair short. (If the gnome
In the story iswicked, he will
Wear clothes branding him
With CRIME and he will have evil
to
Gestures,
I am flailing
But
boot.)
Off my glossary of words to let
You
understand
What
to tell
things,
I feel in the fastness
Do
Of
never-stop.
Tap into my
you
slick dictionary
speed, my
of "consternation?"
7
We
Numbers.
They help
Faster time
Music,
read numbers
us
so nerfous.
along. I shake
in me than you I bet.
crush me
on
the inside,
Iwant to be lifted up.
a message,
Send me
Iwant
here.
to talk Iwant
Safe. But
until
to write
I don't
then,
myself
have a thing
8
To
say. Nobody
does.
9
My bones are lying inmiddle of me.
Count
them. They
are
taking
a bath.
53
10
I know
what
I know
what
to do,
to do:
too.
Iwill stare the fizz out of my wrists and drink my tea
tanks of water.
And
Fish. Fish. Iwill survive
This little speak (this little speck) and another and another.
Iwill go on. Itwill bring me a friend.
Life
All
For
instance,
To
if we
took
this here door because
end up where we
Isn't that right? Because
We'd
a
ram
battering
it's in our way,
to be.
always wanted
good
things
come
Our way but only in tiny throbbings. Hell,
Iwouldn't
Cokes
sell my
in the world.
do what
And
soul for all the rum
love me
honey,
all J tell you, no one else:
Oh,
on
your good eye on the road and if you're driving,
so the deadbeats know what
all you're doing.
Signal,
is a long time on
Give them a chance. Forever
The freeway. You make
the access lane, you hope
Keep
To merge. It's like joining other blood cells
In a vein,
swimming
I'm Talking
From
Like
against
To You
never
You
To
in that stuff,
said lonely would
feel this way.
can
see
nose on in
I
the
here,
ferry
the phrases from songs I can't wait
forget.
Sea birds,
saying
the same thing
the pulse.