OPENNESSINADOPTION
SofieStergianis,M.S.W.,R.S.W.&
SharonGollert,M.S.W.,R.S.W.,AccFM
OnbehalfoftheOpennessCommittee,Adopt4Life
Openness in Adoption - Understanding how this could be beneficial for everyone
involved, especially the child
When embarking on the road to adoption, for reasons that are outlined below, we ask
you to keep an open mind about open adoption. For most adoptions, some form of
openness will benefit your child, and ultimately we all want what is best for our
children. We have learned how important it is for adoptees to have a connection with
their birth family, after living through years in a closed adoption system.
The legal definition of open adoption in Ontario is as follows: “includes written, verbal
or face-to-face contact or communication, where the communication may be direct or
indirect and may permit the disclosure of identifying or non-identifying information
and the frequency of contact or communication may vary from episodic to ongoing”
(Ontario Regulation 70, subsection 49.1(2)).
As we see from this definition, openness can mean anything from the adoptive family
sending pictures and letters to the birth family, to regular visits between birth and
adoptive families as the child grows. Openness is about the child maintaining important
connections, in order to develop a healthy sense of self – there is no secrecy or shame
about their adoption. The contact may be with the birth parents, with birth siblings,
with other birth family members, or, a significant person or community member in the
child’s life. Openness is not co-parenting. Adoptive parents are the legal guardians of
their child and make all the decisions.
In the private domestic adoption system in Ontario, most likely you will have some
level of openness with the birth family of your child. An agreement is signed by the
adoptive family and the birth parent(s) about what this contact will look like through
the years. In a public adoption (with the Children’s Aid Society), an openness
agreement may be signed between the parties, or, the openness may be court ordered.
This would only happen if the court is satisfied that the openness is in the best interests
of a child and that the openness order will permit the continuation of a relationship that
is beneficial and meaningful to the child.
There are so many benefits in having an open adoption, and most importantly, benefits
for the child:
For children open adoption allows them to better understand why they were adopted
and the circumstances of their early life. It can help answer their questions about their
own medical history and about their birth parents and why they could not raise them.
The information diminishes issues of abandonment, and can help establish a healthy
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sense of identity. A relationship with their birth family lessens the impact of loss and
grief, eliminating the energy used for adoption searching later on.
For adoptive parents openness allows them to ask questions of the birth family, either
medical or about other significant areas. Most importantly, contact in openness allows
them to demonstrate to their child that they understand and are supportive of their
needs and feelings. The adoptive parents are able to answer questions much easier, and
greatly benefit from having a more well-balanced child.
For birth parents open adoption allows them to have information about how their child
is doing in their adoptive family as they grow up. It minimizes their loss and grief, and
they are able to share their history and possibly cultural information.
During the homestudy and the PRIDE training, you will learn a great deal more about
openness. Your thoughts and opinions will evolve during this process. Here are some
tips and strategies as outlined on the Adoption Council of Ontario (ACO) website that
may help.
• Read about openness – see some books and websites below
• Talk with families who have openness
• Openly discuss fears and challenges with your practitioner
• Discuss views on openness during Homestudy process and ensure your views
are included in HS and profile. If your views and perspective change make sure your
adoption worker is aware of this and your homestudy is updated to reflect new
information.
Helpful Links or Resources for Openness
Adopt4Life – http://www.adopt4life.com/
ACO -http://www.adoptontario.ca/openness
Ontario Association of Children’s Aid Societies
http://www.oacas.org/adoptionopenness/faq.htm#5
Books
Open Adoption Experience Authors: Lois Ruskai Melina and Sharon Kaplan Roszia http://www.amazon.com/The-Open-Adoption-Experience-Complete/dp/0060969571
Making Room in Our Hearts: Keeping Family Ties Through Open Adoption Author: Micky Duxbury http://www.amazon.ca/Making-Room-Our-Hearts-Adoption/dp/0415955025
Openness in Adoption: Exploring Family Connections Author: Harold D. Grotevant and Ruth G. McRoyhttp://www.amazon.com/Openness-Adoption-Exploring-Connections-Research/dp/0803957793
Spirit of Open Adoption Author: James L. Gritter http://www.amazon.ca/Spirit-Open-Adoption-James-Gritter/dp/0878686371
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[email protected]