:: Dana’s Weekly Insight ::
05.28.07 – Never Forget But Always Remember
It was a Saturday morning the day after trick or treat.
The mood in the house was tense and expectant. The phone kept
ringing and my Mom would take the calls in the other room upstairs.
The five of us sat eating our breakfast oat flakes when my Mom came
down to join us and to fill us in on what was going on. Pompey, our
grandfather was sick and it was very serious. She told us that she was
very worried about whether or not he would be O.K.
We all agreed to pray and keep praying until we knew for sure he'd be
better.
About an hour or so later we watched as my Mom's cousin Tommy
walked from his car, toward the back door. We all just stood silently on
the steps bracing for what we knew he would say. Pompey had just
died.
I will never forget that day; the day of the very bad news.
Several years later, it would happen again.
It was a Friday morning the day after my very first Yankee game.
I had just gotten up and made my way to the bathroom to shower and
get ready for work. The phone rang. Auguste and I looked at the clock
which read 6:40 AM. There was something about the way that phone
rang that made us suspicious and reluctant to respond. We
simultaneously looked at one another as if to say "this can't be good
news".
Only, which one of us would the phone call be for?
"Hello" I answered. "Dana, it's Mom. Is Auguste there?"
Oh, no. Why is she saying this to me? I felt the blood rush from the
upper part of my body and then I heard words that would change my
life, "grandma's dead". I screamed and I heard her on the other end of
the line insisting that I put Auguste on the phone. I walked with heavy
feet across the room to the empty spot by the front door and I stood
with my face to the corner trying to erase the words that my mother
had just spoken.
I will never forget that day; the day that I got the bad news.
Ernie and Mae. Pompey and Gram. How do you memorialize someone
who meant so much? On this day that the nation has carved out as the
day to remember together -I choose to remember both of you.
Pompey -- I remember that you made everything safe. You made
everything safe and because of you, we were never afraid.
I remember running onto the school yard every day after school,
holding my sister's hand and looking for that white Pontiac. It was
always faithfully there to pick us up and take us home. I remember
your famous sweet rolls and how good they tasted. I remember how
you would work hard all day and then come home with bread dough all
over your work shoes. We would pick the dough off those work shoes
and pretend that we were chefs just like you. I remember how you
loved packing all of us grand kids in the car for summer picnics and
outdoor fun. We could talk you into anything -- ice cream, playground.
You would run with us when your illness made it hard for you to even
walk. We would play with your prickly face and run our fingers through
your dark curly hair as you sat in "your" chair. I remember "Pompey's
chair".
I remember how we used to love to spend the night at Pompey's and I
remember on that trick or treat night, you kept calling on the telephone
and asking Mom if we could come over to spend that night with you.
I remember that you loved.
Gram -- I remember how you were always there. You were just always
there -- for everyone. I remember that you would give "the shirt off
your back".
I remember the snacks. You always had a snack for after school and the
dinners that you would prepare were often taken for granted. I
remember the beautiful white lace dress that you made for me when I
graduated from charm school; the dress that was made to my exact
specifications. And, when I moved far far away I remember that not a
Sunday passed by that you did not call. I can remember the time when
you told me that I had let you down because I called in sick for my
summer job. I called in sick when I wasn't. You said that I lied and that
I was being irresponsible. You said that you had no respect for that at
all. I remember I got up, got on my bike, rode to work that day and
never ever lied like that again. I heard you cry one night because you
thought that I was mad at you and I remember how you told me that
you would always love me no matter what. I remember "our" breakfast
on my first morning back, each and every time I came home to visit.
You met Auguste once and I remember that you liked him.
Our last hug -- I remember that well. It was two days after Christmas
and I stopped by on my way to the airport. I remember just days before
my first Yankee game, you sent me the ceramic toothpaste holder that I
had been begging you for, for years. I remember that it came with a
card that said your goodbye:
"Think of those you love, and know that they love you too. No
matter how difficult it may seem, you have within you the
power, the ability, and the knowledge to make it better. God
loves you and He will take care of you. I love you very very
much. Stay as sweet as you are. Grandma".
I remember that you embodied love.
How do you memorialize someone who meant so much? You remember.
You simply remember.
So, today, I remember you.
I will never forget that day; "the day that I got the bad news".
And, what I choose to do is remember! I choose to remember that you
taught me love. I will remember that other people knew blessing
because of who you two were and I honor you by being there for
someone else the way that you were there for so many. I can make
someone feel safe today, in honor of how you two lived.
I will remember that I can be, for someone, who you guys were for me.
I will not overlook that opportunity -today.
And you?
Who will you choose to remember? How will you choose to show love?
Dana
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