the good life
//
travel
Fit for a tsar
Peter Allen samples the high life at sea level, aboard a superyacht
where your every wish is someone else’s command
A
mong numerous fascinating facts I
learned about the Axioma superyacht
during a long weekend aboard was that
she was originally called Red Square. The
thought puzzled me at first: what on
earth did a £50 million-plus floating palace have to
do with a Moscow landmark still firmly associated
with Soviet parades and the last resting place of
Vladimir Lenin? Gliding majestically around billionaire playgrounds such as St Barts in the Caribbean, it
struck me that it would be a bit like naming your
Mayfair mansion after Chairman Mao, or your Cheltenham Gold Cup-winning racehorse Jeremy Corbyn.
In fact, Red Square pre-dates communism and is
as much a testament to Tsarist majesty as the miseries of a failed socio-economic order championing
bland conformity over dazzling excess. In turn, the
Axioma is everything that modern multibillionaire
oligarchs cherish — a private island of luxurious perfection in a global sea of security threats, high taxes
and potential revolution.
Holidays should be all about distraction — a
chance to make the trials and setbacks of ordinary
life disappear for a set period — and the Axioma
really is the ultimate escape. For three incredible
days I was able to lose myself in a fantastical world
that is technically only really available to the fabulously wealthy. Assisting in the process were exceptionally calm seas, warm January sunshine, a galley
full of Michelin-starred food and fine wines, and the
kind of good-looking and hugely talented crew you
usually see staffing hi-tech secret bunkers in James
Bond movies.
My adventure started with a nine-hour flight from
Paris, a night in the Dutch island territory of Sint
Maarten, and then a short burn out to the Axioma
on one of her sleek, super-fast tenders. Fittingly, the
£300 million-plus Eclipse, one of Roman Abramovich’s yachts, was moored alongside. The distant figure jogging up and down on the aft deck in a white
tracksuit could easily have been the Russian owner
of Chelsea FC himself, but I pretended not to notice.
Celebrities pop up everywhere when you’re on the
Axioma, but relaxed indifference is the key to dealing with them. When we dropped anchor close to St
110
Barts, Mariah Carey was aboard the neighbouring
Arctic P, which belongs to her fiancé, James Packer.
We also cruised past the yacht in which Rupert Murdoch and Jerry Hall were celebrating their engagement. If you’re lucky, you might bump into a few big
names on board the Axioma herself: Formula One
motor-racing champ Lewis Hamilton enjoyed some
time on her last summer, along with reality TV star
Kendall Jenner.
But that’s enough about the celebs: the impeccably mannered Axioma crew members treat all their
passengers like stars. There are more than twenty,
including qualified masseurs, diving instructors and
those offering expertise in numerous other fields,
including how to get the best out of your air guitar
on karaoke night. You could get them to sort out a
couple of jet-skis for you from the toys centre down
below, or activate the vast blow-up contraption
which allows you to slide into the sea from amidships while screaming maniacally.
Space ship
A maximum of twelve passengers are allowed on the
72-metre yacht, meaning everybody has a huge
amount of space. There are six bedrooms in all — a
master suite, three VIP staterooms, and two twin
cabins. I was assigned the so-called Yellow Cabin,
which felt like one of the larger rooms in an upmarket country-house hotel. There were all kinds of fivestar essentials, and everything except the bathrobes
could be controlled by a dedicated iPad, although I
never did quite work out how to use it, instead relying on one of the crew to press all the buttons.
The late yacht designer Alberto Pinto put all the
Axioma’s passenger accommodation on the main
deck, so there’s no question of anybody being stuck
underneath the waterline. That said, the lower deck
does contain a brilliant 3-D cinema. Another guest
enjoyed it so much he spent a night down there
watching Planet of the Apes movies on loop (he was
from Indiana). Other facilities include a swimming
pool, gym, Jacuzzi, bars, and steam room.
If you’re interested in the technical details, the
Axioma has twin Caterpillar engines that allow her
to cover 6,000 nautical miles at 12 knots. During my
Despite its size,
The 72-metre
Axioma carries
a maximum of
twelve lucky
passengers
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the good life
//
travel
trip, Captain Mark Giblin first steered us across to
Anguilla, the British overseas territory, which made
for a delightful visit. There was an interesting
museum containing details of the island’s two revolutions against the Queen in 1967 and 1969 (don’t
worry, nothing was seriously damaged, apart from a
few trees) and ancient tribal sites, but the best bit
was sitting on a beach sipping freshly made piña
coladas, again served by Axioma crew (they are the
ultimate man-to-man markers of the bespoke leisure sector).
You can plan the entire itinerary for your stay, but
my small party left it all to the very capable Captain
Mark, mainly because he was always sober. This is
the whole point of being on a magnificent craft like
the Axioma — professionals take care of your every
need, leaving you to concentrate on the views, the
swimming, and the sheer, unadulterated fun of it all.
The main event at all times is the yacht itself. There’s
a non-stop party going on, and this inevitably centres on the exquisite food and drink.
Chef Stephen Paskins was happy to be scrambled
at 4am to rustle up a late-night snack, be it cheese
and tomato pizza or an Aardvark soufflé with a scattering of grated truffles from a specified Tuscan field.
Stephen’s range is exceptional — he does everything
from burgers and full English breakfasts to exotic
Asian dishes made with unpronounceable herbs.
Fresh ingredients are sourced from the islands, and
if essentials are not available they are flown in and
then couriered to the boat. This means Beluga caviar, Japanese Wagyu beef and jamón ibérico are as
ubiquitous as bottles of vintage Cristal. Everything is
made from scratch, including bread and cakes.
Beyond eating and drinking, you can do abso-
lutely anything you want on board. Chief stewardess
Suzy Sawers arranged all kind of treats, from a Bob
Marley tribute dinner to a visit by a professional
magician with a novelty French accent. When Kendall Jenner was on board, she asked if she and the
fashion model Bella Hadid could jump into the sea
from the top deck while wearing black wetsuits,
before posting a video on social media. Each to their
own, as they say…
By the time we had to disembark, I was supremely
relaxed and exhilarated. A trip on the Axioma was
not just luxurious, but absolute holiday perfection.
Our ultimate host — the yacht’s owner — was not
around to thank, unfortunately, but if he had been
I’d have given him a big hug and a massive thank
you. Needless to say, he was rumoured to be another
Russian tycoon (not all oligarchs are as upfront
about their assets as Mr Abramovich, meaning his
name was never revealed) so ‘spasibo’ would have
been the appropriate word.
Once back on dry land in Sint Maarten, I wanted
to return to sea immediately but was politely
reminded that a week on-board the Axioma costs a
minimum €525,000 (£400,000), and that’s before
food, drink, fuel and other extras including tips. The
tsars have probably got more chance of returning to
power in Russia than most of us have of enjoying
regular holidays on the Axioma, but this shouldn’t
stop any of us dreaming. S
The Axioma has some availability for charter in the
Mediterranean this summer and is now booking for
winter 2016/17 in the Caribbean exclusively
through Yachting Partners International (YPI)
ypigroup.com
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