Title of Session: Embracing Tension as a Key to Fitness
Speaker: Dr Matt Rawlins
Dr Rawlins’ session helped practitioners gain an awareness of tension and the impact it can have on
behaviours and communication with others as part of their personal growth. The session also
highlighted the connection between tension and personal values, and why it is needed in the
leadership and organisation context. In his session, Matt explained that tension is healthy and not an
indicator that there is something wrong in the situation. Tension can help us facilitate meeting our
goals, if we manage and address it appropriately. It is fundamentally more important to learn how to
manage and deal with tension than attempting to eliminate it entirely.
Core Competencies for Uncertainty
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Tension: A difference in relational opinion, focus, gifting or awareness of what is happening
and how to interpret it. It is healthy, normal and needed. It is important to get comfortable
with tension.
Inquiry: To have a voice, perspective and focus that matters. Because I am limited and can’t
(and will never) know everything, I need to ask questions to get clarity. Questions are an
expression of my commitment to the team and organisation. Giving permission to not know
everything and demonstrating a sense of vulnerability by asking questions.
The first thing we lose when we are defensive is our questions. Sometimes people use
questions to make statements, e.g. don’t you think that…, that individual has already
become defensive. In such situations, it’s important to question the individual’s
assumptions.
Fundamentally, it is important to create a culture which has engaged individuals. In our
cultural framework asking questions can be a sign of disrespect. Millennials have been
taught to question but how about other demographic groups? The strength of a group
culture is that we are aware of what’s going on in the group; the weakness of it is that we
are not aware of what’s going on within the individual.
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Defensive: The power to choose how I respond to tension in me. I have the authority to
make my own choices and own them. It is a healthy capacity I need to nurture and learn to
work with. We have two basic options:
 React – I don’t think about it, but just have an automated reaction with little
thought (react on impulse).
 Reflective choice – After stepping back and reflecting, I act/respond in an
appropriate way.
Naming: The creative ability to use the power of words to choose how I will name, describe
or frame a situation. The words I use create my ‘map’ of the world that I use to relate to
others and live by. We define our world by naming it, it affects the way we relate to others
and how we teach others to relate to us.
Values: Matters of the heart and the basis for the choices I make. It is the basis for selfmotivation. The language that values use to communicate is emotions. All of this takes
place within a relational ‘system’. There are 5 levels in any relational system: (i) Personal,
(ii) Interpersonal, (iii) Team, (iv) Organisation, (v) Whole system.
Therefore, it is essential to think holistically/systemically about the context of what is going on in
others and the system we are all in. Choices are rooted in the values we hold. The system reflects
the people in the system, if people are unwilling to change, the system will not change.
Tension
If tension is defined as conflict, it will result in the experience of negative emotions. One of a leader’s
key tasks is to help individuals to deal with tension and help others to deal with it in a positive way.
A good leader creates tension and allows people to work on the tension. Tension provides direction,
opportunity to communicate, helps to figure out where you are, providing a reference point of
where the other person is. Channel resources to help, who should go where and what they should
do, feedback mechanism, providing boundaries, helping to define roles and responsibilities.
Tension is a sign that there is life. Without tension there is no movement, no relationship, and no
life. Tension is an indication that there is a difference in expectations and that we need to
communicate. Important to make tension your friend in order to work in systems change, if you
can’t produce it in yourself and telling other to do it, just relying on power and power does not
change anything.
Values
Emotive rather than logical, our feelings are value based. Knowledge rarely leads to change, people
are not going to change just because we tell them information about change.
If you see something with greater value, you will automatically choose it. If you don’t let individuals
choose something they that feel is of greater value, it will end up as a top down initiative. For
instance, choosing between different currencies of the same absolute value. If people don’t see the
value set of what’s being presented (i.e. the currency conversion rate), people will tend to choose
the familiar over the unfamiliar every time. Values don’t just come through facts. Choice is easy
when people are aware of the value of each choice. The fundamental ability is to be able to
communicate the value of each choice to the individual you are trying to communicate with, this can
be done through having helpful conversations. People may find it difficult to ask questions to
ascertain the value because it may indicate a lack of knowledge.
Choice = Perceived value
Identity is a balancing act between the group and the individual. Important to have tension to hold
the balance between two competing sides, there will always be tension between the government
and the people. It should be managed not eliminated. If there is no tension, there may be other
problems. Tension as a mechanism for achieving desired outcomes.