[Un]Settling for the Long Haul: The Interplay of Complacency, Stagnation, and Psychiatric
Drugs
As we age, we stop following our physical bliss. The body is pampered rather than
challenged. It is told to be quiet, and becomes no more than a receptacle for the mind
and spirit. Life becomes a matter of creature comforts. The challenge becomes its
ability to withstand the effects of our bad habits. We are no longer athletes. We have
become spectators. This will never do . . . Life is not a spectator sport. Only to the
good animal come the peak experiences, the joys, the epiphanies.
- George Sheehan
At the age of 45, George Sheehan’s life had already been a smashing success by most societal
standards. As an illustrious cardiologist and father of twelve, his days were full to the brim. But
he began to feel himself settling into a comfortable existence, and with that came increased
feelings of depression and disconnection. So he returned to his roots as a college track star, and
began running laps around his backyard often with his kids in tow. At the age of fifty, he became
the first man of his age or older to run a sub five minute mile. By the time he died of prostate
cancer at seventy-four, he had published eight books on running and life while completing the
Boston Marathon 21 consecutive times.
By the time most of us have gotten into our 30’s and 40’s, a certain order has started to take
place. Many have begun to think of, or even plan for, retirement. Our insurance costs rise as our
families and assets grow. Our schedules start to fill up with meetings and practices. Our homes
often grow from the inside, and become meccas for entertainment, décor, and practicalities. We
suddenly find that we need more space because our family grows in size or the stuff we acquire
grows in mass. We look for ways to increase convenience and amusement in the midst of our
busy lives. We often purge those practices that don’t seem necessary to get through the day. We
tend to avoid areas that unnecessarily challenge us to think differently, remain flexible, and push
the envelope. For us men especially, pride seems to emerge from our “man caves”, entertainment
rooms, zero degree-turn riding mowers, and barbecue shrines. A time-honored tradition begins to
take hold. Like George Sheehan, we start settling in for the long haul.
Much of this is the American dream, right? We have gotten through school, worked hard to get a
job, and are forging ahead at work. We deserve the right to relax when the time presents itself.
We have passed all the tests we need to get us to this point. Now, much of what we have come to
know is that we need to start protecting what we have and enjoying where we are. We become
complacent. Makes sense.
But a couple of things challenge this complacency. For many, one is children. If there was ever a
time in your life that you needed to think critically, be creative, practice flexibility, learn new
skills, remain in great shape, and have the ability to take on challenges, it is when those kids
arrive. Personally, I have never known a period in my life that demanded it more. My children
seem unaware that I have already passed all the exams. Settling in is not on their radar. They
scream otherwise. They demand that I think “on my toes”, figure out the answers, endure long
nights, and strive to find new ways to survive and recognize the beautiful sights they bring.
James F. Schroeder, Ph.D., HSPP
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But when parents relegate their role to that of a full-time spectator, and take on the noble cause
of maternal (and paternal) martyrdom, a critical balance often shifts. Spectating is a necessary
and joyful part of being a parent; but being a full-time spectator, without personal pursuits and
close attention to our lifestyle choices, often leads to declining health and increased negative
mood. This in turn can make each day a greater struggle to renew and revitalize ourselves for the
next, and for our kids. For mothers especially, this slide backwards often leads to depression,
which remains one of the most robust threats to their children’s well-being.
But whether or not we have children, it is easy to find us in another spectator role. This is the
role in which we watch our life passively go by, and increasingly find ourselves in pathways and
states of being that we never intended. According to Erik Erikson and others, the psychosocial
conflict from age 40 to 65 is generativity versus stagnation. It is the period in which adults often
seek out meaning and purpose through raising their children and/or creating positive change at
work. Failure to do this often leads to feelings of stagnation, depression, and despair.
When complacency and stagnation set in, our human nature, especially of today, seeks
immediate promises of relief. And marketers know this. This is where psychotropic drugs,
among other artificial endeavors, enter the equation. Recent statistics (e.g., NCHS Data Brief, 76,
October 2011) indicate that in the United States, use of antidepressants has increased almost
400% among all ages from 1988. Individuals from 40 to 59 are the largest consumer of
antidepressant medications. Twenty-three percent of women in this age group take
antidepressants, making them the largest user of any age-sex combo. Females in general are 2.5
times more likely to take antidepressants than men, although statistics suggest that men
disproportionally self-medicate in other ways, such as with alcohol (National Institute on
Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. Women and Alcohol. February 2011). Less than one-third of
people taking anti-depressants have seen a mental health professional in the past year. But this
search for immediate relief extends beyond antidepressants. Last year, Abilify, an antipsychotic,
stunningly became the number one seller (in total sales) for all pharmaceuticals, grossing nearly
6.5 billion dollars. Not just psychiatric drugs, all drugs. As it continues to be marketed for wider,
adjunctive purposes, including anxiety and depression, it becomes just one more “answer” to the
blues that middle aged Americans are increasingly reporting.
So, where does this leave us? Well, in some ways, it leaves us with a great opportunity if we
choose to look at it in this way, although right now it seems rather depressing. We can certainly
hang on, if we want. Or, we can begin to challenge the prevailing conventions. We can reassess
what is most important to our vitality and what is most central to our contentment.
For starters, it seems that we can’t stop thinking and learning no matter what age we are. As John
Wooden once famously said, “When you are through learning, you are through.” It sounds
obvious, but by thinking and learning we are talking about the process of satisfying our curiosity
by seeking out new knowledge and wisdom. Of reading about things we don’t know, and asking
frequent questions about things that don’t make sense. Of seeking out new ideas, and
understanding why we believe what we do and why we do what we believe. Simply put, we can
never stop learning. George Dawson understood this. As beautifully detailed in the book, “Life is
So Good”, he described his life of illiteracy until at the youthful age of 98, when he decided it
James F. Schroeder, Ph.D., HSPP
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was time to learn how to read. Reading for a release is great, but reading for curiosity can take
you back to those days when everything was still new.
Our fitness can’t be something we finagle into our busy schedules. It can’t be an afterthought.
Not only because kids require the greatest amount of endurance we will ever know, but so that
the life we have is one that we choose. We are coached to plan for retirement by investing and
saving money. But, how many of us have sat down with our financial planner, only to find out
that the cheapest insurance goes to those who are healthiest? The single best predictor of our
ability to think after fifty, and therefore have an opportunity to truly enjoy our golden years, is
one thing: our physical health. No insurance policy in the world can guarantee this. Only we can
try. And it doesn’t start magically the day retirement begins.
Which brings us back full circle, to another problem. It all makes sense, except for one thing:
WHERE DO WE FIND THE TIME? The answer seems to lie in the very routines that we have
adopted which many would say “get them through the day” (but may in fact do little more, or
even the opposite). Let’s start with TV. The average adult American watches five hours of
television a day. Although certain programs may be considered educational or thoughtprovoking, even these remarkably edited shows really require little more than finding the right
channel (By the way, a check of the Nielsen ratings tells the true story).
This is just for starters. So, what if we do have more time than we think? And if TV is just
helping us to survive, then maybe most of the time is better spent with something that will help
us thrive. In 1966, Winston Churchill published a book entitled, “Painting as a Pastime”. It was a
collection of paintings and writings from much of his life, which had certainly been one of great
challenge and strife as the Prime Minister of England during and after World War II. It
demanded constant vigilance, thought, energy, and flexibility. In the midst of it all, he resorted to
painting as a way to rejuvenate his spirit and his mind. He once said, “Change is the master
key…the tired parts of the mind can be rested and strengthened, but not merely by rest, but by
using other parts. It is not enough merely to switch off the lights which play upon the main and
ordinary field of interest; a new field of interest must be illuminated.”
There is great news about all of this. Our minds and our bodies are fully equipped to embrace
this philosophy. Recent analysis of runners in the Boston Marathon found that the average runner
in their mid 50’s was just as fast as those who were 18. By the way, George Sheehan set his
personal best in the Boston Marathon of 3:01 at the spry age of 60. And while many of our
cognitive abilities start to decline in our 30’s, our vocabulary skills continue to climb almost into
retirement age.
In the United States, the average life expectancy for females is nearly 82 years of age. The
average male lives to about 77. Seems kind of early to start settling in.
James F. Schroeder, Ph.D., HSPP
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