Congratulations! You have been entrusted with
precious copyrighted material.
What that means is…
POSTING ANY PORTION OF THE SCRIPT OR AUDIO FILES
ONLINE IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED, unless the site is passwordprotected and only then to distribute materials to actors. Most classroom
websites are public—DO NOT post our files there. Our super-sleuths
will find them and ask you to take them down.
ONLY the individual or school/organization named in the footer below
is authorized to use this play, edit it as needed, and print/photocopy it for
the actors. This is a lifetime license (woohoo!). No performance
royalties are due as long as ticket prices do not exceed $5.
If this is an individual license (see footer), it may only be used by one
teacher/director at a time. Additional teachers/directors will need to
purchase their own licenses, or the school/organization can purchase a
site license.
To purchase licenses or ask any questions, please contact us any time at
badwolfpress.com.
If you’re still thinking of infringing on our copyright, please
click here to see a picture of how this makes us feel. We want to be in business
forever and continue writing great plays. If you like what we do, please
encourage your friends and colleagues to do the right thing and resist the lure of
illegal copying.
Thank you for your purchase, and we hope you have a
wonderful experience with this show!
Alice’s Adventures
with Idioms
A Musical Play for Kids
Script, teacher’s guide, and audio recording
with songs and instrumental accompaniment
Book and lyrics by John Heath
Music by Mike Fishell
Illustrations by Cara Burns Design
Bad Wolf Press
Santa Cruz, California
Acknowledgements
All instruments were played by Mike Fishell and Roy Fishell. Special thanks to
the following singers who added so much to the recordings: Dana Shaw, who
sang on songs 1, 2, 5, 9, and 10; and Marcella Quirin, who sang on songs 3, 4,
6, 7, 8. Audio mastering by Troy Tilkens.
A Word About Copyright and Copying
• The purchaser is given lifetime performance rights for this play. No royalty
is due as long as the play is used for educational/non-commercial purposes
and ticket prices do not exceed $5 each.
• The purchaser is given permission to reproduce ONE copy of this script for
each student/actor.
• The purchaser is given permission to reproduce ONE or TWO songs for
each student/actor to help them learn solos or small group parts.
• The purchaser is given permission to edit, add to, or omit any portion of
the content of this script as needed.
• Unless a site license has been purchased from Bad Wolf Press, the
reproduction of any part of the script or audio recording for more than
one teacher/director in a school or theater program is strictly prohibited.
Each teacher/director involved with the play MUST have a legal copy of the
script and audio recording (either individual or site license).
• NO PART of script or audio files MAY BE POSTED ONLINE unless the
site is password-protected, and then only to distribute materials to actors.
• Video recording for non-commercial use is permitted. Any shared/posted
recordings must include “by Bad Wolf Press” and link to badwolfpress.com.
• These materials may not be read or performed for commercial use without
written permission from, and royalty agreement with, Bad Wolf Press.
From the Authors
We’ve spent a tremendous amount of time writing this musical, so we hope
that you will do the honest thing and avoid illegal copying. Please encourage
your friends and colleagues to purchase their very own copies rather than
steal from friendly writers such as us.
© 2013 by Bad Wolf Press, LLC
All rights reserved
ISBN 978-1-886588-58-5
BWP 0580 2nd Edition
Bad Wolf Press
216 Mt. Hermon Road Ste E372
Scotts Valley, CA 95066
Toll free: 1-888-827-8661
www.badwolfpress.com
What Other Plays Does Bad Wolf Publish?
1
You can read the first third of any of these plays, listen to sample songs, read reviews, and
learn more about the curriculum, standards, and vocabulary at badwolfpress.com.
Click any title or category below to go directly to its web page.
Character Education & Life Skills
Language Arts
Bullies Anonymous (Grades 3-7)
Character Matters (1-5)
Character Matters II (1-5)
Good Manners (2-6)
Mother Goose’s Character Camp (K-3)
Munchkin Mediation: Conflict Resolution in Oz (3-7)
Social Skills: How to Interact with Human Beings (3-7)
Test-Taking Strategies (2-6)
Aesop’s Fables Deluxe (K-3)
Alice’s Adventures with Idioms (2-7)
America’s Tallest Tales (2-6)
Anansi and the Moss-Covered Rock (1-4)
The Case of the Missing Paragraph (3-8)
Cinderella: A Modern Makeover (2-6)
Coyote Steals the Summer (1-4)
The Emperor’s New Clothes (1-5)
Goldilocks and the Three Bears (K-3)
History and Social Studies
Grammarosaurus (1-4)
Jack and the Beanstalk (1-5)
13 Colonies (3-8)
Little Red Riding Hood (2-6)
The American Revolution: 1763-1789 (3-8)
Macbeth, the Musical Comedy (4-9+)
American Symbols (K-4)
Martina y Pérez: A Bilingual Tale (2-6)
California Missions—and More! (2-6)
Noun and Verb (10-Minute Mini Collection) (3-8)
European Explorers in the New World (3-8)
Pirates from Grammar Island (2-6)
Friendly Neighborhood Helpers (K-3)
Shakespeare Unshackled (5-9+)
Gold Dust or Bust (2-6)
The Tale of the Chinese Zodiac (2-6)
Government & Citizenship (1-5)
Theseus and the Minotaur (2-6)
Great Americans of the 20th Century (3-8)
Hatshepsut, Queen of Denial (3-8)
Holidays
The Incredible Westward Movement (2-6)
Map of the World (10-Minute Mini Collection) (3-7)
Bad Wolf ’s Holiday Songs for the Classroom (K-2)
Martin Luther King, Jr. (10-Minute Mini Collection) (3-7)
The Really Goofy Purim Play (2-6)
The Texans: Birth of the Lone Star State (2-6)
The Turkeys Go on Strike (2-6)
U.S. Constitution (3-8)
The Winter Holiday Show: A Multi-Species
U.S. Geography (2-6)
Celebration (1-5)
U.S. Presidents: Washington to Lincoln (3-8)
We Come From Everywhere (1-5)
Science and Math
Biomes: Animals & Plants in their Habitats (1-5)
Conservation (10-Minute Mini Collection) (3-7)
Earthworms Make America Great (K-3)
The Environmental Show (2-7)
Forces & Motion (Non-Musical) (2-8)
The Garden Show (1-5)
Geology ROCKS! (2-6)
Geometry (10-Minute Mini Collection) (3-7)
It’s Electrifying (2-6) Life Cycles (1-4)
Mastering Math (2-6)
Name that Internal Organ (3-7)
The Nutrition Show: Hansel and Gretel Eat Right (K-3)
The Oceanography Show: Tide Pool Condos (2-6)
The Rumpus in the Rainforest (1-5)
Vacation on Mars (1-5)
The Weather Show (1-4)
Questions?
Email us at
[email protected]
or call us toll-free at
(888) 827-8661
Table of Contents
Alice’s Adventures with Idioms Script 4-34
Teacher’s Guide35-49
Introduction for the Teacher35
Getting Started36-7
Music37-8
Casting39
Costumes40
The Set 41
Staging 42-3
Rehearsals and Assessment44
A Four-Week Timetable45
Emphasis: Making the Words Come Alive
46
Final Performance46-7
A Last Bit of Advice47
Curriculum Concepts and Vocabulary-Building
in Alice’s Adventures with Idioms48-9
Ordering Sheet Music and Other Goodies50-1
Song List
1. “Alice’s Adventures with Idioms”
Entire Class
pages
2. “We Can’t Be Late”
White Rabbits, Chorus 3. “Down, Down, Down”
Tweedledee, Tweedledum, Chorus
4. “Say What You Mean”
Caterpillars, Chorus
5. “Give Her a Simile” Servants, Chorus
6. “Crazy ’Bout Food”
Hatter, Hare, Doormouse, Chorus
7. “Have a Heart”
Queen, Flamingo, Hedgehog, Chorus
8. “The Alliteration Zoo”
Cheshire Cats, Chorus
9. “Idioms Have Tales to Tell”Choir, Chorus
10. “Alice’s Adventures with Idioms” (reprise) Entire Class
3
5
7-8
10-11
14
17-18
22
25-27
28-29
32-33
34
Alice’s Adventures
with Idioms
Book and lyrics by John Heath
Music by Mike Fishell
The duration of the show is about 40 minutes
CHARACTERS:
FLEXIBLE CASTING:
From 11-40 students. Use
as many White Rabbits,
Caterpillars, Prosecutors, etc.
in each scene as desired. One
student can easily play several
roles if needed, and individual
roles can be doubled up. The
larger speaking parts of Alice,
Dinah, and Micah can be
divided into additional parts
(add a friend for Alice or a few
more pets). Note that all roles
can be played by either boys or
girls; see our comments on page
41 of the Teacher’s Guide.
ALICE
DINAH, her cat
MICAH, her dog
SISTER (off stage)
WHITE RABBITS
TWEEDLEDEE
TWEEDLEDUM
CATERPILLARS
DUCHESS
SERVANTS
MAD HATTER
MARCH HARE
DOORMOUSE
FLAMINGO
HEDGEHOG
QUEEN OF HEARTS
CHESHIRE CATS
KING OF HEARTS
PROSECUTORS
CHOIR MEMBERS
and a CHORUS composed of all students who are not playing roles on stage at the time.
4
CLASS:
Here’s a classic done up new
Wonderland revised for you
Here’s Alice’s Adventures with Idioms
We’ve changed the book for your delight
Good thing it’s out of copyright
It’s Alice’s Adventures with Idioms.
We’ve got phrases like “a piece of cake”
And “break the ice” and “hold the phone”
We’re learning and we’re having fun
We’re killing two birds with one stone.
Song 1/11
NOTE: The numbers
above refer to the track
numbers on the audio
recording. The first is the
vocal version of the song;
the second is the karaoke
version.
ONE STUDENT (spoken to audience): Not really. It’s just an
idiom.
Instrumentation for
SONG 1: Drums, bass,
acoustic guitar, 2 electric
guitars, piano, organ,
tambourine
CLASS:
We also have some similes
Easy as your ABCs
It’s Alice’s Adventures with Idioms
We hope this show’s your cup of tea
You’ll go hog wild for Tweedledee
Here’s Alice’s Adventures with Idioms.
Here’s Alice’s Adventures with Idioms.
(THEY sit down/exit. ALICE enters with DINAH the Cat and MICAH the Dog. SHE carries a picnic basket.)
SISTER (from off stage): Alice, don’t get too close to the river. And
try to keep the cat and dog from jumping in. They smell horrible
when they get wet. Especially the dog.
(MICAH shakes his fist in the direction of the SISTER’s voice.)
5
ALICE (to pets): My sister is such a worrier. What could happen to
us on such a fine summer day?
(THEY sit down.)
Let’s have our sandwiches. Of course, cats and dogs don’t like
sandwiches, so I’ll eat yours for you.
(MICAH, who had been quite excited at the word “sandwiches,” slumps in disappointment. DINAH is too cool
to care. Just then, WHITE RABBITS enter. THEY each have
a pocket watch and are in a flustered rush.)
RABBIT #1 (looking at watch): Oh
dear, oh dear! We’re late!
RABBIT #2: The Duchess! The
Duchess! She’s waiting for us!
RABBIT #3: Oh my fur and
whiskers! We can NOT be late!
ALICE (standing up): Dinah!
Micah! Look! THIS is very curious!
Three white rabbits. With pocket
watches.
RABBIT #1: Oh dear. We’ll be thrown to the wolves.
ALICE: Excuse me.
RABBIT #2: Sorry, no time, no time!
RABBIT #3: We’re not crying wolf!
6
WHITE RABBITS:
We’ve gotta make a beeline
We cannot weasel out
No time for horsing ’round now
We’re sitting ducks, no doubt.
Song 2/12
No time for playing possum
Our cash cow has been spent
No time to take a catnap
Or fish for compliments.
We’ll all be in the Duchess’s doghouse now
If we’re not on time she’ll have a cow.
We can’t be late
We can’t be late
RABBIT #1:
Maybe we’ll sneak by
Instrumentation for
SONG 2: Drums,
double bass, acoustic
guitar, mandolin,
violin, organ
RABBITS #2 and #3:
Yeah, when pigs can fly.
ALL WHITE RABBITS:
We can’t be late
We can’t be late
RABBIT #1:
She’ll badger us
RABBIT #2:
We’ll drop like flies
RABBIT #3:
If we make her wait
ALL WHITE RABBITS:
Oh no we can’t be late.
No time to hold our horses
And no frog in the throat
We’re fishes out of water
She’s gonna get our goat.
7
WHITE RABBITS and CHORUS:
We can’t be late
We can’t be late
RABBIT #1:
Maybe we’ll sneak by
RABBITS #2 and #3:
Yeah, when pigs can fly.
WHITE RABBITS and CHORUS:
We can’t be late
We can’t be late
RABBIT #1:
She’ll badger us
RABBIT #2: We’ll drop like flies
RABBIT #3: If we make her wait
WHITE RABBITS and CHORUS:
Oh no we can’t be late.
We can’t be late.
(The RABBITS disappear down a rabbit hole. DINAH and MICAH run after them.)
ALICE (shouting at her pets): Dinah! Micah! NO!
(DINAH and MICAH go down the rabbit hole as well. SHE shouts down hole.)
You get back here this instant! I am NOT going down this filthy
rabbit hole to fetch you.
(TWEEDLEDUM and TWEEDLEDEE enter, arms around each other’s necks.)
How should you depict the actors going down the rabbit hole?
Well—that’s up to you. You could have the actors step through a
hula hoop, go behind a desk, crawl into a large cardboard box with
a rabbit hole painted on it, spin around and pretend to be falling, or
simply run offstage. So many silly options! Feel free to be creative.
8
TWEEDLEDUM (to ALICE): There’s no need to yell your head
off.
TWEEDLEDEE: Unless you’re already out of your head.
ALICE (startled, looking up from the hole): Oh! Who are you?
TWEEDLEDUM: I’m Tweedledum.
TWEEDLEDEE: And I’m Tweedledee. But you should keep that
under your hat.
ALICE: What should I keep under my hat?
TWEEDLEDUM: Your head, of course.
ALICE: You seem to be full of uncommon nonsense.
TWEEDLEDEE (turning to go): Perhaps we should head off.
ALICE: No, please wait. Did you happen to see my dog and cat?
They just chased three talking rabbits down this rabbit hole.
(SHE points to hole.)
TWEEDLEDEE: Yep. They’ve gone to the land of idioms.
ALICE: Where?
TWEEDLEDUM: The land of idioms.
ALICE: I’m afraid that went right over my head.
TWEEDLEDEE and TWEEDLEDUM (delighted): Exactly!
ALICE: Exactly WHAT? You two are very odd. My point is, I’m
wondering if I should go down the rabbit hole as well.
TWEEDLEDEE: Well of course you must go DOWN the rabbit
hole.
ALICE: I must?
9
TWEEDLEDUM: You can’t very well go UP the rabbit hole!
TWEEDLEDEE: And going ACROSS it or BEYOND it would be
of no use whatsoever.
ALICE: What do prepositions have to do with anything?
TWEEDLEDEE: Everything!
TWEEDLEDUM and TWEEDLEDEE:
Down, down, down the rabbit hole
Down, down, down that is your goal.
It’s clear from your position
That there’s just one preposition
It’s down, down, down the rabbit hole.
Song 3/13
You may be on the ball or way out on a limb
Perhaps you’re on thin ice and now it’s sink or swim
Off the hook
Under the weather
Knock you over with a feather
Instrumentation for
SONG 3: Drums, bass,
You’re out of steam, I know
acoustic guitar, 5-string
And there’s just one way to go…
banjo, pedal steel guitar,
TWEEDLES and CHORUS:
Down, down, down the rabbit hole
Down, down, down that is your goal.
It’s clear from your position
That there’s just one preposition
It’s down, down, down the rabbit hole.
Telecaster electric guitar,
tambourine
TWEEDLES:
You may be up the creek or working ’round the clock
Just sitting on the fence or been around the block.
Down to earth
Down to the wire
In the same boat or on fire
You’ll jump through hoops, I know
But there’s just one way to go…
10
TWEEDLES and CHORUS:
Down, down, down the rabbit hole
Down, down, down that is your goal.
It’s clear from your position
That there’s just one preposition
It’s down, down, down the rabbit hole.
(At the end of the song, ALICE goes down the rabbit hole and disappears. The TWEEDLES exit. From the other side of the stage, DINAH and MICAH enter. THEY are arguing.)
DINAH: I TOLD you this was a strange place. Play it cool, I said.
Don’t do anything rash, I said. We’re down a rabbit hole in some
weird land, I said. But NOOO. You had to drink the potion.
MICAH: But Dinah, it said “Drink Me.” Right there on the bottle.
DINAH (disgusted): You’re such a DOG. It made you grow to be
ten feet tall.
MICAH: Did you see the size of my tail? It could level forests!
DINAH: And after that, you went ahead and ate the piece of cake!
Where’s the learning curve?
MICAH: Hey, I’m a DOG. It said “Eat Me.” And it was cake!
Besides, you ate some too.
DINAH: That’s because you shrank down to three inches, and the
one door in the place was three inches tall. It was the only way out.
But now what are we going to do, Micah?
MICAH: Let’s look for some more food that tells us what to do.
DINAH: Let’s NOT. I HATE being so tiny.
(coolly)
It reduces the impact of my feline aloofness.
(CATERPILLARS enter)
11
CATERPILLAR #1: I think three inches is the perfect size.
CATERPILLAR #2: It’s a very good height indeed.
DINAH: Well, we are not used to it. Who are YOU?
CATERPILLAR #3: We’re caterpillars, and we live under that
mushroom over there.
CATERPILLAR #1: If you want to return to your regular size, you
will need to nibble on the mushroom.
DINAH: Well, that is the best advice we’ve heard since we got here,
hands down.
(BOTH DINAH and MICAH immediately hit the floor.
Their hands stick to it.)
MICAH: Whoa! What happened? My paws are stuck.
CATERPILLAR #2 (snapping fingers, which releases DINAH and
MICAH): You must be very careful what you say in this part of the
forest. Idioms are taken quite literally.
MICAH: Idioms?
CATERPILLAR #1: Expressions. You know, common phrases that
mean something different from what the individual words say.
MICAH (looking excited): OH!
(then looking confused)
I don’t get it.
CATERPILLAR #3: Most of the time we speak in literal words. For
example, when you say, “I like being three inches tall,” you mean
exactly that. It IS the perfect size, after all.
CATERPILLAR #2: But idioms work differently. They’re figurative
rather than literal.
(looks at #3)
C’mon, let’s show them.
12
CATERPILLAR #3: NO! Bad things happen when we demonstrate!
CATERPILLAR #2: Come on, we’re best friends. You could even
say we’re…joined at the hip?
(The two CATERPILLARS instantly stick together at the hip. #3 looks very unhappy.)
CATERPILLAR #1: See what happened there? What he meant
was that they are such good friends that they are always together.
But you can’t use those kinds of expressions here. In this forest,
everything becomes literal.
DINAH: You hear that, Micah? You’d better speak carefully.
Being stuck to you for even ten seconds would ruin my reputation
forever!
MICAH: Mine too! We need to hold our tongues.
(Immediately DINAH and MICAH grab their own tongues.)
DINAH (unintelligible): Thee uh ooo eh?
CATERPILLAR #3 (to DINAH): What’s the matter—cat got your
tongue?
CATERPILLAR #1 (giving high five to #3): That one never gets
old.
CATERPILLAR #2 (snapping fingers, which releases DINAH and
MICAH): You must pay better attention.
DINAH: Micah! Jeesh.
(to CATERPILLARS)
You see the problem.
(points)
Cat. Dog. We don’t always see eye to eye.
(Immediately THEY face and stare at each other, their foreheads almost touching.)
13
CATERPILLAR #3 (snapping fingers, releasing THEM): Are you
listening?
Song 4/14
CATERPILLARS:
Don’t hold your tongue or lose your head while in this land
Don’t pull somebody’s leg or lend someone a hand.
And if your heart is on your sleeve put it back in
And try hard not to get under somebody’s skin.
Say what you mean
Mean what you say
If you say “smarty pants”
Your pants will get an A.
If you say you’ll play it by ear
Your ear is gonna play
Say what you mean
Mean what you say.
Instrumentation for
SONG 4: Drums,
bass, 2 electric guitars,
organ, Wurlitzer piano
Don’t keep your eye on anyone or pick their brains
And please don’t cry your eyes out ’cause that always stains.
And paying through the nose is a bad stratagem
’Cause soon your nostrils will become an ATM.
CATERPILLARS and CHORUS:
Say what you mean
Mean what you say
If you say “smarty pants”
Your pants will get an A.
If you say you’ll play it by ear
Your ear is gonna play
Say what you mean
Mean what you say.
Say what you mean
Mean what you say.
(CATERPILLARS exit.)
14
DINAH: Come on, Micah. Let’s get out of this forest before we use
another expression.
MICAH: Yeah, we’d better hit the road.
(Immediately DINAH and MICAH are on all fours and smacking the ground with their hands/paws.)
DINAH (annoyed): There’s something wrong with you.
(CATERPILLAR #1 walks back on stage, snaps fingers and releases them, turns to audience and shakes his head, and then exits.)
MICAH: Sorry. I always seem to put my foot in my…
DINAH (interrupting): STOP!
(ALICE enters)
ALICE (happy): Dinah! Micah! I’m so happy
to see you.
DINAH: How did you find us? And how did
you get to be so small?
ALICE: I went down the rabbit hole. And
there was this room with a potion that said
“Drink me!” and a piece of cake that said
“Eat me!”—and, well, I just had to try.
MICAH (to DINAH): SEE!?
ALICE: Wait! I didn’t know you could talk!
MICAH: We can talk?!
DINAH: Neither did we. This is a very strange world.
(holding out a piece of something)
Here, we found a piece of mushroom that will restore us to our
original sizes.
15
(THEY all take a bite, and happily watch themselves “grow.”)
ALICE (looking over herself closely): Curiouser and curiouser.
Well, that’s better. I saw a lovely garden through a window in that
room. I would very much like to find it.
MICAH: There’s a house right over there. Maybe it has a garden. I
could use a bush right about now.
DINAH (shaking head): Dogs.
(looking in the direction MICAH pointed)
Hey, look, someone’s coming. Should we act aloof?
(DUCHESS and THREE SERVANTS approach from direction of house)
ALICE: Excuse me? We’re trying to find a beautiful garden. Could
you help us?
DUCHESS (scowling): I am the Duchess! By the horrible
expression on my face, it should be as plain as day that I don’t have
a beautiful garden. Perhaps you should visit the garden of the King
and Queen of Hearts.
MICAH: Does it have any bushes? Bushes are my best friends!
DUCHESS: Aaaach! What did you say?
DINAH: Forgive him, Duchess—he has NO manners. Talking
about bushes to someone we just met! Today has been a real eyeopener.
DUCHESS (to SERVANTS): EEEECK! Take them both away!
ALICE: But what did they do?
DUCHESS: AAAAAACH! To the dungeon! And throw away the
key—they look as slippery as an eel.
(ONE SERVANT leads off DINAH and MICAH as the DUCHESS follows THEM in a huff.)
16
ALICE (to the other two SERVANTS): What happened? Why is
she so upset?
SERVANT #1: They both used a metaphor.
ALICE: A metaphor?
SERVANT #2: It’s when you compare one thing to another without
using “like” or “as.” The dog said that bushes ARE his best friends.
The cat said that today IS an “eye-opener.”
ALICE: What’s so bad about that?
SERVANT #1: The Duchess HATES metaphors.
ALICE: Oh. Well, how will I get my pets back?
SERVANT #2: Don’t worry. You just need to use some similes.
Similes are DIRECT comparisons using “like” or “as.”
SERVANTS:
Give her a simile
She’s as gentle as a lamb
Give her a simile
She’s as happy as a clam.
Pretty as a picture
At least that’s what she’s told
Give her a simile
And she’s as good as gold.
Song 5/15
Instrumentation for
SONG 5: Drums, bass,
electric guitar, acoustic
guitar, accordion,
tambourine, washboard
Give her a simile
And there’s no need for alarm
Give her a simile
It’ll work just like a charm.
Say she’s quick as lightning
As pure as driven snow
Give her a simile
And she will let you go.
17
Direct comparisons
She’s a sucker for that jazz
She will melt like butter
When you use “like” or “as.”
CHORUS: Give her a simile
SERVANTS: And she’ll be as smooth as silk
CHORUS: Give her a simile
SERVANTS: And you’re in the land of milk…
CHORUS (shouts): …and honey!
SERVANTS and CHORUS:
Don’t be slow as snails
Or timid as a fawn
Give her a simile
And you’re as good as gone!
Give her a simile
And you’re as good as gone!
(All SERVANTS but ONE exit. DUCHESS enters.)
DUCHESS: Well, those two … (with a sneer)
…“metaphorians” are locked up as snug as a bug in rug.
ALICE: Duchess, please, won’t you have pity on them?
DUCHESS: Never. I’m as stubborn as a mule.
ALICE: I know those two fight like cats and dogs…
DUCHESS: Indeed.
ALICE: …and that you can be as hard as nails…
DUCHESS (smiles): Yes, that’s true.
ALICE: …but they’re cute as a button…
DUCHESS: Well…
ALICE: …and sweet as honey…
18
DUCHESS (softening): I see your point…
ALICE: …and fun as a barrel of monkeys!
DUCHESS (delighted): Why didn’t you say so!
(to SERVANT)
Release the prisoners!
(SERVANT exits)
ALICE: Thank you, Duchess.
DUCHESS: Speaking of cats and dogs, my Cheshire cat has
disappeared again.
ALICE: He’s run off?
DUCHESS: No. I mean exactly that—he
has disappeared. He has this strange habit of
vanishing right in front of my eyes. Sometimes
all I can see is his grin. Then he’s just gone like
the wind.
(SERVANT enters with DINAH and MICAH)
DUCHESS: Ah, here come your friends now.
(to DINAH and MICAH)
You have been released.
DINAH: Thank you, Duchess. We feel as free as a bird.
DUCHESS: Excellent!
MICAH: Yeah, that’s cool...
(Yikes, it’s a metaphor! ALICE and DINAH give him a dirty look; the DUCHESS starts to look upset; MICAH quickly adds)
…as a cucumber.
19
DUCHESS: Farewell. If you want an invitation to the croquet
match in the Queen’s garden, then I suggest you visit the March
Hare and the Mad Hatter. They know her very well. I’m still
waiting for the Rabbits to bring me my invitation. Of course, the
Hare and Hatter have been having a tea party since last May. They
are both raving mad—I should think you will fit in quite nicely.
Like a glove!
(SHE exits, smiling, with SERVANTS.)
MICAH: Come on, I smell food this direction.
(THEY all start walking.)
ALICE: I’m quite hungry, actually. I never ate our sandwiches.
MICAH (grumbling, to audience): Neither did I.
DINAH: Look. I think we found the tea party.
(MAD HATTER, MARCH HARE, and DOORMOUSE are sitting at a table. Or THEY can be standing, sipping tea. The DOORMOUSE, however, is asleep.)
MARCH HARE: Welcome! Welcome to our tea party. I am the
March Hare. And this is the Mad Hatter.
HATTER: However did you find us? Did you take the gravy train?
Perhaps a gravy boat? And what did you bring to eat?
ALICE: I’m sorry, but we don’t have any food. I left the sandwiches
by the river.
HATTER: No matter. You can eat my words.
ALICE: Excuse me?
MARCH HARE: It’s food for thought.
MICAH: That doesn’t sound very tasty.
20
HATTER: Au contraire! Just add a little spice of life and salt of the
earth.
MARCH HARE: And for dessert there’s pie in the sky.
DINAH: Do you have anything to drink?
HATTER: Absolutely. The perfect thing for a cat.
(looking around)
Now where did I put that milk of human kindness?
MARCH HARE: Meanwhile, take some more tea!
DINAH: We haven’t had any yet so we can’t take more.
HATTER: You mean you can’t take LESS. It’s very easy to take
more.
ALICE: This is a very strange tea party.
DOORMOUSE (waking suddenly, shouts): Is it soup yet?
MARCH HARE: Oh look. You’ve awakened the Doormouse!
HATTER and MARCH HARE: Excellent!
HATTER (to the THREE): Come, join our party!
21
MARCH HARE, MAD HATTER, DOORMOUSE:
Song 6/16
Sit down, chew the fat, it’s so tasty when fried
With nice couch potato that’s served on the side.
Go nuts, go bananas, but don’t spill the beans
And have a tough cookie straight from the Marines.
We’re crazy ’bout food, don’t you see?
We hope that it’s your cup of tea.
Don’t you agree that there’s no recipe for disaster that’s faster than listening to me?
We’re crazy ’bout food, don’t you see?
Yes here you can bite off more than you can chew
You’re having your cake and you’re eating it too.
It’s our bread and butter, as easy as pie
For dessert, baked apple of somebody’s eye.
Instrumentation
for SONG 6:
Drums, double
bass, tenor banjo,
electric, vibraphone,
alto saxophone, 2
tenor saxophones,
trombone, and
trumpet, organ
We’re crazy ’bout food, don’t you see?
We hope that it’s your cup of tea.
Don’t you agree that there’s no recipe for disaster
that’s faster than listening to me?
We’re crazy ’bout food, don’t you see?
If it’s hard to swallow and you have a bone to pick
Take it with a grain of salt
And if it still leaves a bad taste in your mouth
It is completely HIS fault!
(THEY all point to each other)
This nice fruity beverage can pack quite a punch
And who says there’s no such thing as a free lunch?
We’re serving it all with great zest and great zeal
You cannot cut corners and have a square meal.
MARCH HARE, MAD HATTER, DOORMOUSE, and CHORUS:
We’re crazy ’bout food, don’t you see?
We hope that it’s your cup of tea.
Don’t you agree that there’s no recipe for disaster
that’s faster than listening to me?
We’re crazy ’bout food, don’t you see?
22
(At the end of the song, the DOORMOUSE immediately falls asleep again.)
ALICE: Could you tell me where we can find the garden of the
Queen of Hearts?
HATTER: Have you been invited to the croquet match?
MICAH: Yes we have! Absolutely.
HATTER: Splendid! Then you will need a flamingo.
ALICE: A flamingo? What for?
MARCH HARE: To hit the hedgehog with, of course. Have you
never played croquet?
DINAH: It’s, uh, been a while. Would you have a flamingo we
could borrow?
HATTER: I always carry a flamingo with me, in case it rains. Here.
(Hands over a pink FLAMINGO, who is an actor.)
MARCH HARE: And take this hedgehog. The Queen’s garden is
right down this road.
(Hands over a HEDGEHOG, who is also an actor.)
ALICE: Thank you. And thank you for the tea.
MICAH: But I didn’t get anything to eat!
DOORMOUSE: That’s the way the cookie crumbles.
HATTER: Look! The Doormouse has awakened again. Twice in
one day! Isn’t that just frosting on the cake!
(HATTER, DOORMOUSE, and HARE all sing/hum and skip off stage. ALICE, DINAH, and MICAH walk down the road.)
23
DINAH: I hope this garden is worth all the fuss.
HEDGEHOG: Oh, it’s lovely. Although I don’t like being bashed
around all day.
FLAMINGO: It’s MY head that bashes you around, and I’m not
too thrilled about that either.
ALICE: Then why do you do it?
HEDGEHOG: You clearly have not met the Queen. She’s always
threatening to cut off people’s heads if they do the slightest thing
she doesn’t like.
FLAMINGO: It never happens, mind you. But she’s very dramatic.
HEDGEHOG: Quiet! Here she is!
(hides behind ALICE)
QUEEN (entering and walking quickly up to ALICE): Ah! Just
who I was looking for!
ALICE: Who, me?
QUEEN: You HAVE come to play croquet, haven’t you?
ALICE: Well…
QUEEN: You must! I insist! You have a flamingo—come smack
that hedgehog around my garden.
HEDGEHOG: Not again.
QUEEN: Who said that?
(looking around at everyone)
Off with his head!
(noticing DINAH; looks HER over)
Are you a CAT?
DINAH: Yes I am. Can’t you tell by my aloofness?
24
QUEEN: You’re not a cat BURGLAR, are you?
DINAH: No. Just a cat.
QUEEN: Good. I hate people who steal cats.
MICAH: So THAT’s what that means.
QUEEN: WHO SAID THAT?
(looking around frantically)
Off with his head!
ALICE: You were talking about croquet.
QUEEN: Oh yes, quite right. You see, I am the Queen of Hearts.
Every year we have a croquet match in my garden, and every year
we lose to the Clubs, Diamonds, and Spades. This year we simply
MUST win.
DINAH: Why do you lose?
QUEEN (frantic): Why do we lose? Why do we lose?! Because
we’re TERRIBLE, that’s why. To get to the heart of it, none of the
Hearts has any talent. I can’t get half the suit to play at all anymore.
They’ve lost heart.
FLAMINGO: We’ve seen them. She’s right. Last year the Six of
Hearts poked his eye out with a flamingo.
HEDGEHOG: It’s true—the King is the only decent player.
QUEEN: And he’s away presiding over a trial. Oh, it just breaks my
heart.
QUEEN, HEDGEHOG, FLAMINGO:
The ace has got a one-track mind
The two has two left feet
The three just got the third degree
The four took five and won’t compete.
25
Song 7/17
Instrumentation for
SONG 7: Drums, bass,
piano, organ, trombone,
trumpet, 2 tenor
saxophones, 2 electric
guitars
The six and seven just ate nine
The ten is just one zero
The Jack’s a knave
Oh who will save our game?
We need a hero!
Have a heart
CHORUS: Come on and play
Have a heart
CHORUS: You’ll love croquet.
It’s sure to suit you
We’ll all salute you
CHORUS: From the heart today!
Have a heart
CHORUS: Come on and play
Have a heart
CHORUS: You’ll love croquet.
Put your heart in it
And we can win it
CHORUS: Come and play your part
Have a heart!
The ace looks out for number one
And two can’t play that game
The three’s a crowd and won’t come forth
Don’t give me five—he’s got bad aim.
The six and seven just ate nine
The ten is just one zero
The Jack’s a knave
Oh who will save our game?
We need a hero!
Have a heart
CHORUS: Come on and play
Have a heart
CHORUS: You’ll love croquet.
It’s sure to suit you
We’ll all salute you
CHORUS: From the heart today!
26
Have a heart
CHORUS: Come on and play
Have a heart
CHORUS: You’ll love croquet.
Put your heart in it
And we can win it
CHORUS: Come and play your part
QUEEN, HEDGEHOG, FLAMINGO, and CHORUS:
Have a heart!
Have a heart!
QUEEN (excited): I must go have a heart-to-heart with the umpire
to add your name to our suit. Hurry along.
(SHE starts to leave, then turns around and says rather cheerily)
And remember, if you don’t win, it’s off with your heads!
(QUEEN, FLAMINGO, and HEDGEHOG exit.)
MICAH: Did she use the plural? I thought I heard a plural.
DINAH: The Flamingo said that no one actually loses his head.
MICAH: The Flamingo is also a croquet mallet. He probably has
brain damage.
ALICE: What have I done? We can’t risk losing our heads. Why
must all the creatures in this place be so easily offended?
CHESHIRE CAT #1 (appearing): So, how
are you getting on?
MICAH: Yikes! A cat!
CHESHIRE CAT #1: I am a Cheshire Cat.
CHESHIRE CAT #2 (appearing): And I
am also a Cheshire Cat.
27
MICAH: Another one! And they’re grinning! Cats shouldn’t grin.
It’s eerie.
CAT #1: That’s what we do.
CAT #2: Sometimes that’s all there is—just our grin.
ALICE: Well! I have often seen a cat without a grin, but a grin
without a cat! It’s the most curious thing I ever heard of.
CAT #1: Oh, we have lots more curious things than that in our
zoo. It’s a very peculiar kind of zoo.
MICAH: Why doesn’t that surprise me?
CAT #2: It’s the Alliteration Zoo.
CHESHIRE CATS:
Baboons are busy building bikes
And crocodiles are cracking codes
Deer display a derring-do
At the alliteration zoo.
Feel free to feed your favorite frog
While giggling gibbons greet the guests
Hedgehogs have a handsome hue
At the alliteration zoo.
The jaguars jump
Koalas cook
There’re laughing llamas too
The mice make mints
The newts make news
And porcupines play peek-a-boo.
The quail request a quid pro quo
The rocks are rife with roguish rats
Seals sup on savory stew
At the alliteration zoo.
28
Song 8/18
Instrumentation for
SONG 8: Drums, bass,
3 acoustic guitars, 2
electric guitars, organ,
tambourine
The turtles trot until they’re tired
The vultures veto vegetables
Weasels wonder who is who
At the alliteration zoo.
CHESHIRE CATS and CHORUS:
The yaks can yell
And zebras zing
Across exotic grounds
And there’s one thing
That they all share
They all repeat initial sounds.
There’re lots more animals to see
Chinchilla, cheetah, chimpanzee
They’re all waiting here for you
At the alliteration zoo.
(CHESHIRE CATS exit. WHITE RABBIT #1 enters quickly, flustered.)
RABBIT #1 (to ALICE): My oh my, there
you are. You’re late! You’re late!
ALICE: Late for what?
RABBIT: Your trial, of course. Well, don’t
just stand there, come along!
DINAH: Where?
RABBIT: Exactly where you are. Are you
paying attention?
ALICE: I’m afraid I will never get used to
this place.
RABBIT (nudging ALICE towards the other side of the stage): Go
on. Don’t keep the King of Hearts and his Prosecutors waiting.
29
(TWO PROSECUTORS and the KING OF HEARTS appear. The KING is seated behind a desk. The PROSECUTORS stand in front of it. ALICE, DINAH, and MICAH all face the KING.)
KING: Aha! Which one of you stole the tarts?
PROSECUTOR #1: Pardon me, Your Majesty. But we already
established that the Knave of Hearts stole your wife’s tarts.
KING: We did?
PROSECUTOR #2: Remember?
(recites nursery rhyme)
The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts,
All on a summer day:
The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts,
And took them quite away.
KING: I LOVE tarts!
PROSECUTOR #1: Yes, Your Majesty. But let’s try to move past the
tarts.
PROSECUTOR #2 (pointing at ALICE): This girl is guilty of far
greater crimes.
KING: Read the accusation.
PROSECUTOR #1 (reading from paper): Arson! She once burned
her bridges.
PROSECUTOR #2 (reading from paper): And vandalism! She’s
broken bread, stride, silence, and a habit.
KING: The nerve!
PROSECUTOR #1: That’s just it, Your Majesty. She has no nerve.
KING: No nerve?
30
PROSECUTOR #2: She lost it. She loses everything.
PROSECUTOR #1 (reading from list): She also lost count, touch,
ground, sleep, and track.
ALICE (upset): This is absolutely ridiculous!
PROSECUTOR #2: You see? She just lost her temper.
KING: How very irresponsible.
MICAH: Let me defend you, Alice.
You can beat this rap.
PROSECUTOR #1: She wants to
beat a rap! Why, that’s aggravated
assault! I’ve heard she has also beaten
the clock.
KING: Where does she do all this
beating?
PROSECUTOR #2: Around the
bush.
PROSECUTOR #1: And we have it
on good authority that she has hit a snag.
KING: No!
PROSECUTOR #2: And a wall.
PROSECUTOR #1: Why, last year alone she hit the books, the
brakes, the dirt, and the sack.
KING (to ALICE): What do you have to say for yourself?
PROSECUTOR #2: Be careful, Your Majesty. She may hit the roof.
KING: Do you deny the charges?
31
ALICE: You are taking all these idioms literally! I have never
actually hit or beaten anything!
PROSECUTOR #1: You see how dangerous she is, Your Majesty?
Even here in court she’s killing time.
DINAH: You haven’t told her how she might acquire a defense.
KING: She wants a choir for defense? Why didn’t you say so?
DINAH: No, that’s not what…
KING: Bring in the Choir for the Defense!
(CHOIR enters)
CHOIR MEMBER #1: What’s missing here, Your Majesty, is an
appreciation for the history of the charges against Alice.
CHOIR MEMBER #2: These idioms are frozen bits of language
that have cool origins.
CHOIR MEMBER #3: Once you know how an idiom began, you’ll
understand what it’s really trying to say.
CHOIR:
Idioms have tales to tell
Idioms have tales to tell
Full of history as well
Idioms have tales to tell.
Song 9/19
They say it’s raining cats and dogs
But why not elephants and hogs?
Now that would be some heavy rain
And even worse than a Great Dane.
White lies are minor falsehoods, true,
But why can’t they be green or blue?
So if you are a language fan
Go see how idioms began!
32
Instrumentation for
SONG 9: Drums, bass,
lap steel guitar, organ,
piano, tambourine,
handclaps
CHOIR and CHORUS (CHORUS can clap):
Idioms have tales to tell
Idioms have tales to tell
Full of history as well
Idioms have tales to tell.
CHOIR:
Been in a pickle? I submit
You probably did not relish it.
Did you cut the mustard? What was meant?
Who gets to choose the condiment?
These idioms you learn by heart
But how did each one get its start?
Since it’s a runneth-over cup
Pick out just one and look it up!
CHOIR and CHORUS:
Idioms have tales to tell
Idioms have tales to tell
Full of history as well
Idioms have tales to tell.
Idioms have tales to tell.
(CHOIR exits.)
KING: What a splendid defense! You certainly pulled out all the
stops. I feel I must change my tune: case dismissed!
MICAH: That’s music to my ears.
DINAH: You’ve certainly hit the right note with me.
ALICE: If you would all stop with the music idioms for a moment,
perhaps you could tell me how we are ever going to get out of here.
MICAH: I guess we’ll just have to play it by ear.
DINAH: Micah, stop it.
33
ALICE: No, he’s right. There’s only one way back home: we have
to…
CLASS: Face the music!
CLASS:
If you feel a bit perplexed
Wondering what will happen next
In Alice’s Adventures with Idioms
Well you are not the only one
’Cause I’m afraid that we are done
With Alice’s Adventures with Idioms.
If we told ya that the story’s true
Well we all know that you might scoff
We hope that you enjoyed the show
We hope we knocked your socks right off.
Song 10/20
Instrumentation for
SONG 10: Drums,
bass, acoustic guitar, 2
electric guitars, piano,
organ, tambourine
CLASS: Ooooo!
ONE STUDENT (spoken to audience): Please—it’s just an idiom!
CLASS:
The real book will make you scream
It turns out it’s all a dream
Of Alice’s Adventures with Idioms
So let’s just say it ended fine
And everyone is on cloud nine
In Alice’s Adventures with Idioms.
In Alice’s Adventures with Idioms.
THE END
34
Teacher’s Guide
Introduction
Alice’s Adventures with Idioms is a musical play
designed to be performed by elementary school
classes, particularly by students in the second
through seventh grades. The older students will
of course do a more polished job, but please don’t be afraid of having your
younger students perform this show. They’ll have a great time (this is not your
regular school play) and their parents will have a ball.
In fact, one of the really nice things about this musical play is the response
you’ll get from parents. You’ll find them grateful for the opportunity to see
their child perform in a truly fun show full of melody and wit. Indeed, rumor
has it that some parents have so thoroughly enjoyed the performance that they
have had to have the smiles surgically removed from their faces in order to be
taken seriously at work.
If you’re an experienced producer of classroom shows, then Alice’s Adventures
with Idioms will be a snap. If you’re new to this sort of thing, relax! Putting
on a play is a wonderful experience for your kids, and it’s a heck of a lot easier
than you probably think. This introduction is designed to provide you with all
the necessary tips for a smooth and joyous production. We consulted teachers
whose classes have performed our shows and asked them what they wished
they had known before they started. We listened carefully, and now it’s all here
for you.
Doing a little script-tease
We strongly suggest that you do not send
home copies of the script with each student.
The problem is that the parents will read the
script and when they come to watch the play,
well, they’ll already know what to expect. We
think your best bet is to copy only the lyrics
and dialogue for your actors. Let Mom and
Dad help their child learn their parts, but
give your parents the gift of being pleasantly
surprised when they see the performance.
35
Even if you can’t sing or play an
instrument! Honest! We know
a teacher who has successfully
produced a number of
musicals in her classes
without singing or playing
a note (she’s very shy). All
you have to do is move your
lips! Remember, the audio
recording demonstrates all the
songs.
Getting Started
Figure on about a month from first introduction
to final performance. This may sound like a lot of
time, but most of the days you won’t work for very
long, perhaps just singing a few songs together. We
have an example of one reasonable timetable on
page 45. We suggest that you play the recording of
the show for several days before you start singing
songs. Then after the kids get the hang of the songs,
you can sing them whenever the class has a few
extra minutes. When you get around to casting
and staging the show you’ll need more time again.
You’ll also want to schedule additional time for the creation of sets, props, and
costumes (if you decide to use them—see our advice below).
Lately educators have been talking about teaching “across the curriculum,”
that is, using large projects and themes to connect the various skills and
subjects to be studied. Alice’s Adventures with Idioms is ideal for this since you
can easily connect your study of figurative language with art, music, theater,
and reading under the guise of a fun show.
Now, relax and have some fun. We’ve
written this show so you can get out of it
what you want. If you choose to work very
hard, managing every detail—go ahead!
Really! You’ll probably have a high quality
performance. But make sure that’s the level
of activity and stress you’re comfortable
with. Don’t let the parents turn this into a
Broadway production. You can also choose
to be low-key about it all. Tell yourself
that these are just kids, your audience
isn’t paying fifty dollars a ticket, and you
won’t have a perfect show. You’ll stay more
relaxed and enjoy the experience. It just
depends upon your own personality and
the students themselves. No matter how
you approach this show, remember it’s the
process that is important for the students’
education: the reading, creating, singing,
thinking, and developing self-esteem that
go into learning the show are the real point
to the final performance anyway. There’s
no reason you shouldn’t have as much fun
doing all this as your students!
Is Alice’s Adventures
with Idioms an opera
or a musical?
And what’s the difference,
anyway? According to our
dictionary, in an opera most or
all of the story is sung, but in a
musical the dialogue plays the
more important role. Beyond
that, musicals tend to be written
in a popular style while operas
are supposed to be “artistic.”
In truth, there’s no meaningful
distinction and you can call
this show whatever you like
without offending us. (Our own
expression for this show is “a
stunning piece of contemporary
American theater.” Go figure.)
36
Here’s a bit of time-tested advice if you’re new to this type of musical
production: get another teacher at your school to put on Alice’s Adventures
with Idioms at the same time. You can share sets and costumes and bounce
ideas off one another. Your classes can watch each other rehearse and the
students can give feedback to their peers. This process has proven to be a
great aid to novice directors, and students learn a lot by participating in the
assessment and development of the show (more on this later). (Note: Under
the Bad Wolf Copyright arrangement, you can copy this script all you want for
your students. Your fellow teachers, however, will need to purchase their own
copy —hey, who wouldn’t want their own copy?—if they are putting on the
show at the same time.)
Some teachers like to have as much parental help in the classroom as possible;
others prefer to work with the kids without interference. Wherever you fall
on this continuum, you’ll probably find it useful to ask for a certain amount
of help. Be sure you send a parents’ letter at the onset of the project. Include
performance dates and tell exactly what sort of assistance you’ll be looking for.
If putting on plays is new to your school, you may want to outline some of the
educational advantages as well. (See our web site for a template you can use!)
Music (and the enclosed audio recording)
The audio recording is a teaching tool for helping your children learn all the
songs. The first recorded version features some talented musicians singing the
songs with dazzling musical accompaniment. The second version of the show
has just the accompaniments to all the songs. We strongly encourage you to
make a backup CD or computer file of the audio recording in case it gets lost
or damaged. You can also purchase replacements from Bad Wolf Press.
We suggest you introduce the music to your class by playing the recording
during a class work session. You might do this several times, starting well in
advance of your actual rehearsal of the show. The music will seem easy and
familiar when your students finally begin to sing the songs. Have all your
students learn all the songs. This is much more fun for the class, and it will
give you great flexibility in casting and substituting for absent performers.
37
Ready for some controversy? The easiest way of getting older students to learn
the show is probably to copy the script and give it to them. Some teachers,
however, like to write all the lyrics to the songs on large poster-size sheets.
This is a lot of work. If you choose to do this, we have two suggestions: get
some parents to divide the work between them, or photocopy the lyrics onto
transparencies and use an overhead projector. Other teachers like the students
to learn the songs by ear without looking at the script—this works especially
well with younger students. They play the songs for a week or so during
class, and then play the version of the recording without the words. You’ll be
surprised how well students respond to the challenge of singing along.
You can perform the show to great applause by simply using the accompanying
recording. If you choose to use the CD for the performance, get a volunteer
to be in charge of boombox. It’s very important that this be the same person
throughout the rehearsals and the final performance. The volunteer needs a
script and lots of practice with the class. If you can’t find a parent, then try
to snag an older student. Don’t try to handle this yourself—you need to keep
your eyes on the students and be free to solve problems as they occur.
Using a musician
If you know of a parent or other
community member who might be willing
to play piano or guitar, contact them
early. Play them the audio recording and
show them the samples of music on page
50 of this book to be certain they are
comfortable with it (to order the sheet
music for Alice’s Adventures with Idioms,
contact the publisher—flip to the back
of this book). Another option is to hire
a professional. You may find someone
to work for less than you’d think—even
starving musicians like to help the
schools. Maybe you can get some money
from your school PTA. Regardless of who
your musician is, paid or not, be sure to
schedule at least one rehearsal with them
before the performance. Your students
will need to get used to the sound of a
live player, and the musician needs to
learn the cues and get a sense of what the
children sound like.
38
If you have access to the right
equipment you can manufacture
copies of the entire recording.
Please don’t! It’s strictly illegal,
absolutely immoral, and
government tests indicate it
is probably fattening. Really,
we expect better things from
someone as nice as you. (Did
you see our Official Policy on
fair use, photocopying and audio
duplication on the second page?
It’s a masterful blend of tact,
threat, and blatant begging, so
maybe this would be a good time
to review it.) What you can do
is provide one or two songs to
each student to help them learn
solos or small group parts. They
can sing along with the recording
daily. This kind of repetition
really helps!
Casting
Alice’s Adventures with Idioms was originally
written to be performed by a class of from
eighteen to thirty kids, but the show is very
flexible. How many Caterpillars? How many
Choir Members? Three? Five? Experiment a
bit, keeping at least one strong singer in each
group. We recommend that you don’t create
groups with more than seven students, or the
stage begins to look and sound like a rugby
scrum. And kids can play more than one part too!
We suggest waiting until the last week or two before you pick specific
children for each part. We don’t recommend a formal audition. Instead,
let various children experiment with different roles and try out different
combinations. Perhaps a few friends will discover they enjoy singing “Crazy
‘Bout Food” together. Or perhaps several children will express interest in being
a Prosecutor (doesn’t everyone at some point?). Our one recommendation is
that if you choose to have soloists, be sure to pick actors who can sing loudly
enough to be heard over a possibly noisy audience.
As you know, some children are
a little shy about performing
and especially about singing in
public. (The lyricist intentionally
swallowed his history book in
the third grade in order to be
excused from singing “I’ve Got A
Hammer” in front of the class.)
You might want to ask if there
are any children who would
prefer a speaking part instead
of a singing one. Respect their
fears, but if you provide regular
opportunities for performance
you’ll be pleased to see your
students gain confidence.
Learning About Musical
Instruments
You will notice that at the beginning of
each song in the script we’ve included a
little box that lists the instruments used
in the recording of that song. This is a
great chance for your students to start to
learn to recognize the sounds of different
musical instruments. You can play the
audio recording and have the students pick
out the different sounds. Your students
may want to do some research: what’s a
Telecaster electric guitar, for example?
Eventually, of course, you’ll need to make a choice and probably a student
or two will feel hurt by the selection. We have attempted to write in as many
parts as possible and to spread the singing roles evenly throughout the cast,
but somebody is still bound to be disappointed. Try to help them understand
that the selection in no way reflects poorly on them. If you put on more than
one performance each year you will be able to give different children the
opportunity to have a “starring” role.
39
If you’re not an experienced director,
keep costumes, sets and staging as
simple as possible.
Costumes
You don’t really need any costumes, but most kids (and certainly most
audiences) like them. However there is a very real danger that some parents
will start competing with each other to provide the fanciest costumes. We
suggest that when you first tell parents about the play, explain that the
costumes will be designed by you and the class, and so please don’t send in any
costume without asking you first. Try to be firm on this.
In general, the fancier the costumes, the more self-conscious the performers—
and the quieter they will sing. Make sure what they wear is comfortable,
especially the hats (which, unless they fit perfectly, tend to be very distracting).
Keep hats, wigs, and beards to a minimum. When in doubt, simplify!
The easiest way for an actor to “become” a character is to wear a simple sign
around his/her neck with the appropriate label (e.g. “Tweedledum”) and/or a
decorated baseball cap or t-shirt. An easy way to unify the cast visually is to
have everyone wear a black t-shirt, or assign a different color to each scene/
group (e.g. white for White Rabbits, red for Cheshire Cats). If you want to go
the t-shirt route, check out our online
shop at badwolfshirts.com. You can use
our illustrations plus standard clip art to
design custom shirts for your actors.
The audience will accept whatever you
do, as long as it doesn’t distract them
from what’s going on in the play. It’s all
up to you, of course, but again, we think
your life will be happier, and the show
just as good, if you keep this as simple
and easy as possible!
40
The Set
You don’t really need a set to put on a successful performance, so don’t
worry. We think the show can best be performed on a bare stage or in your
classroom. (If you have access to an auditorium or stage, you will have a bit
more flexibility.) If you want to make a “stage” so the audience can see better,
you can put students’ tables together.
Alice’s Adventures with Idioms does not need to have a “realistic” setting. That
is, the action occurs in the mysterious place of theatrical convention, so there’s
no need for distinct backgrounds for each scene. The action takes place in
the (Wonderland-esque) Land of Idioms. You can have the students paint a
backdrop with the title of the show on it and some familiar Alice characters.
However you set it up, remember that all songs must be sung to, and dialog
directed at, the audience with the actors in the front, middle part of the stage.
See our sample stage setup on page 43.
By all means have the kids do most of the set-planning and building—it’s a
great art project. If you can get some grown-up assistance the whole thing will
flow smoothly and your kids will have a wonderful time. Once everything is
ready they’ll feel a real sense of pride and ownership.
Blending Genders
Do not feel bound by gender in your casting of these or any parts.
All the parts in this show can be played by boys or girls or any
combination; even Alice can become Alex. And don’t hesitate to
add actors or double up roles if that works best for the size of
your class. If you’re concerned about soloists, then have two or
three kids play a part. This is theater, and no one in the audience
will mind once they understand the convention.
41
Staging
Whether you have access to a “real” stage or are performing in a classroom
with a constricted space, we recommend that you keep all the actors on
the “stage” at all times. You can have the students sit down on the floor or
on chairs until it is their turn to perform. These actors form the chorus for
the show and sing on every song, so they need to be present and facing the
audience at all times.
On the next page there is an aerial view of this kind of setup in a classroom.
You’ll notice that the kids’ chairs are being used by the audience (which is also
probably sitting in front of the chairs as well as standing in back).
We’ve also positioned the students
in groups on the stage. This is
just one possibility. You’ll need to
experiment with this. The challenge
is to place the students so they are
not in the way when they are not
performing, so they can get where
they need to be easily during the
show, so they can move about
during their “numbers” as they
need to, and so they can be heard
when they sing. Here are a few
ideas we’ve gathered from teachers
who have performed our shows:
The Joys of Tape
You will want to mark the spots on the
stage where students are to stand and/
or sit throughout the performance.
These “marks” can easily be set out
with painter’s (removable) tape on the
floor. Mark where soloists, small groups,
and the chorus will stand during each
scene. This will keep everyone in place
and make your job of managing thirty
energetic actors much easier.
❖
Most of the action of the play—
the singing, narration, and movement—should take place at the front of
the stage. The audience cannot see or hear clearly what’s going on in the
back.
❖
Make certain that when the students sing and speak they are facing
the audience. They can move around, look at each other, do whatever you
want before and after their song, but they must move to the front of the
stage and face the audience when it is their turn to talk or sing. They can
stand side by side, or the taller ones can be behind the shorter ones, or
those in front can sit down—whatever you like—but their mouths should
be turned towards the front.
❖
Don’t put all the actors and groups of actors in straight lines. This is
not very exciting and too regimented—the stage begins to look like a face
off between the British and the colonists in the Revolutionary War. Bunch
them together in different formations as they wait for their moment to
“star” at the front of the stage.
42
❖
Don’t have the students “dance” while they are singing. Making music
of any kind while moving is extremely difficult for anyone of any age to do.
Moreover, the students are likely to turn away from the audience during
their dance, and that, you will remember, is a no-no.
❖
And you’ll notice we keep writing “dance” instead of dance. Isn’t
that annoying? The point here is that you don’t have to choreograph
a Broadway number and the students don’t have to know anything
about formal dance. We want you to think of this as an opportunity for
MOVEMENT. What we’re after, and the audience is craving, is some visual
excitement to match the musical fun. No need to get fancy. When in doubt,
think silly and simple.
Painted Backdrop
Students (seated or standing as Chorus)
Audience
Teacher (on a chair or desk)
43
Rehearsals and Assessment
After the students have learned the songs and the show has been cast, you will
need to start teaching them where to stand and how and when to move. You
will also need to work on individual songs, and especially on their behavior
when they are NOT on center stage. Don’t worry about the quality of the
performance when you begin. Remember, this is all part of the learning
process, so take advantage of the opportunities for teaching and assessment.
Again, teachers have come up with a wonderful variety of ways to make
rehearsals a central part of their students’ learning. Here are some of their tips:
❖
Don’t panic. Rehearsals early on, and even up to the day of the
performance, can be quite rough. The kids will pull through when it counts.
❖
Each day ask the students to give suggestions on improvement: What can
everyone do to make the show better?
❖
Ask the students to self-evaluate as well: How did I do my job? How can I
do better next time? (This can be done verbally or in writing.)
❖
It is best to have a couple dress rehearsals so students can get used to them.
Do these in front of an audience so students learn to project.
❖
Video-record a rehearsal and have the students analyze it. What was good?
What could have been done better? This is a very valuable tool. When the
students see themselves fidgeting and fooling around, when they can’t hear
themselves sing, they will discover for themselves what they need to work on.
❖
Ask a student audience to think like a director and then write anonymous
comments. It’s surprising how helpful these comments can be.
Third-Grade Kids Recommend the Following:
* Everyone has to work together as a team.
* Cast members don’t need to give directions to
others while on stage. It’s distracting. Let the
person have some “wait” time and the teacher
will help get them back on track.
* Don’t worry about making a mistake. The
audience probably won’t pick it up.
* Use expression.
* Don’t talk or play while on stage.
* Background needs to sit still and be quiet so
as not to be distracting.
* Pay attention.
* Wait for the audience to stop clapping before
speaking again.
44
A Four-Week Timetable
* You will likely want to build extra time into this schedule (either before
or during rehearsals) to explore the meanings of the expressions in the
show, especially if you are working with English Language Learners. See
our notes on the curriculum on page 48.
Week One
1. 20 minutes a day listening to songs
Week Two
1. 20 minutes a day listening to and singing the songs
2. Review curriculum connections with class. *
3. Maybe move to the songs a bit
Week Three
1. 30 minutes a day singing songs, moving around
2. Read script together, taking turns with different parts.
3. Plan physical production: costumes (if using), props, staging.
4. Halfway through the week, ask students to write down or tell you the parts they most want (in order) and make your selections by the end of the week.
Week Four
1. One hour daily
2. Get the play on its feet where you will be performing.
3. Use removable tape to mark where students will be (you can
color code).
4. Perform for another class and invite that class to write reviews.
5. Video-record the rehearsals/performances so your students can see and hear what they’re really doing.
6. Do more performances for other classes. Aim for at least three
performances in front of kids before performing for
families.
7. Perform for families. Don’t worry, it doesn’t have to be perfect.
8. Don’t worry, it doesn’t have to be perfect.
9. Don’t worry, it doesn’t have to be perfect.
45
Emphasis: Making the Words Come Alive
One of the challenges in putting on children’s plays is to get your students to
treat the lyrics and dialogue as language, to speak and sing in natural rhythms.
The key is to have the students emphasize the right words and syllables. Kids
often sound great when they’re singing but terrible during dialogue. You need
to model speaking with expression. Have them analyze their lines for action
words—exciting words that make the lines come alive. Then show them how
to stress these words to bring out the meaning. Scenes always work best when
the actors know which words need to be stressed. Again, we suggest videorecording a rehearsal so students can discover what they really sound like.
Final Performance
Your most important performance will probably be for the students’ parents
and families. There is a trade-off in setting the time. More people can come
if you do it in the evening, but the problem is that you’ll have to go back to
school and all your kids will have to remember (and be able) to return. Many
teachers perform only during regular school hours.
If Something Goes Wrong: Ignore it!
Tell your students that if something goes wrong, they should
continue with the play as though nothing was amiss. It
won’t help to stop and tell fellow actors what to do.
If you’re new to this you might be a bit nervous. Remember that the parents
are there to watch their children and they’ll be pleased with almost anything.
When it comes out well, you’ll be a star. If it comes out wonderfully, you’ll be
nominated for Teacher of the Century. As we suggested above, we strongly
urge you to do a number of informal performances (dress rehearsals) for
other classes. You might start with younger kids, since they tend to be
easily impressed. Then move up to the students’ peers and older kids. Since
the shows are informal it’s okay to stop the action if the kids are having
some problems. The main thing is to let them get
used to performing. Don’t worry if your musician (if
you have chosen to use one) isn’t available for every
performance—just use the audio recording.
46
During the show you should be in clear view of the students. You’re there to
help the kids remember what they need to do and encourage them when they
do well. You can cue all group singing and mouth the lyrics to help keep the
class together. If some of the lyrics seem difficult to memorize, you may want
to hold up signs with key words or pictures to remind the kids what comes
next. Some teachers just go ahead and sing along on the group songs.
Print up a program, and don’t forget the invitations to the parents. A cast party
is traditional after the last performance of a play. The kids will really enjoy it
and it will provide a great chance for the parents to talk with one another and
congratulate themselves for managing to arrange such a wonderful teacher
for their kids. (This may sound flippant but we’ve heard people say things like
this at every post-performance party we’ve attended. There’s nothing like a
genuinely good school play to fill parents with joy and gratitude.)
Turning on the Applause Sign
The audience wants to applaud, but it needs to be told when it’s the right
time to clap. Since you have no applause sign, the actions themselves of
the student actors must say loudly and clearly, “Okay, we’re done with the
scene, you can applaud now.” To convey this message to the audience, the
performing students need to do two things: they must stop all movement,
and they must face the audience. If they start moving the second they finish
the song, the audience will not know the scene is completed. Finally, don’t
be afraid to clap yourself at the right moment. The students deserve it, and
the audience will follow your lead. This is especially important after the
very first song. If those watching the show understand at the beginning
that they are allowed and expected to show their appreciation, they will
continue to do so throughout the show.
Last Bit of Advice
When you’re learning to cook, you follow the cookbook to the letter. If the
recipe calls for 1 1/2 cups of fresh smelt, you put in 1 1/2 cups of fresh smelt.
Later, after you gain some confidence, you loosen up and take some chances.
The same thing happens with putting on a play—after a few tries, you’ll be
spicing up the show at every turn. We’ve tried to give you an accurate and
workable recipe for a really fun show, but feel free to do anything that seems
best for you and your class. And if you have any great ideas, or even good
ones, please contact us so we can include them in the next version of this
show.
47
Curriculum and Vocabulary-Building
in Alice’s Adventures with Idioms
Key Concepts
In addition to the 150+ idioms and similes included in the show, Alice’s
Adventures with Idioms refers to and reinforces students’ familiarity with the
following:
❖ What idioms, similes, metaphors, and alliteration are
❖ Figurative vs. literal language
❖ Historical basis of idioms
Notes on the Curriculum
Yes, we went to town—we tried our darnedest to include
as many idioms and similes as we could in the songs and
dialogue. But had we actually defined them all, the play
would be about forty hours long! So naturally you will want
to spend some time parsing out the meanings of the idioms
and similes in the show. Having your students research the
origins of individual expressions can be an extremely fruitful task. This kind
of investigation solidifies their understanding of not only the chosen idiom,
but the very nature of English as an evolving language.
General Vocabulary-Building
idiomscopyrightduchessuncommon
preposition
potionlevel (verb)
felinealoofnessfigurative
literal“smarty pants”
stratagematmeye-opener
croquet
“raving mad”
au contraire
bash
dramatic
suit (of cards)
knavemalleteeriepeculiar
alliteration
“crack a code” derring-do
hue
“make news”
quid pro quo
riferoguishsavoryveto
exoticzingprosecutor
tart (food)
accusation
vandalism
learning curve irresponsible
acquire
appreciation
originscondiment
perplexedscoffaggravated assault
“land of milk and honey”
jazz (= “kind of stuff ”)
“on good authority”
Similes
Cool as a cucumber
Fight like cats and dogs
Gone like the wind
Good as gone
Pretty as a picture
Slippery as an eel
Stubborn as a mule
Cute as a button
Fit like a glove
Good as gold Hard as nails
Pure as driven snow
Slow as snails
Sweet as honey
48
Easy as A, B, C Easy as pie
Free as a bird
Gentle as a lamb
Fun as a barrel of monkeys
Melt like butter Plain as day
Quick as lightning
Smooth as silk Snug as a bug in a rug
Timid as a fawn Works like a charm
Idioms
Apple of (someone’s) eye
Beat the rap
Break (one’s) heart
Burn (one’s) bridges
Catnap
Crazy about (something) Cup runneth over
Down to the wire
Fish out of water
Frosting on the cake
Go bananas
Gravy train
Have a cow
Heart on (one’s) sleeve
Hit the roof
Hold (one’s) tongue
In a pickle
Jump through hoops
Knock (one’s) socks off
Look out for number one
Lose (one’s) temper
Milk of human kindness On thin ice
Out on a limb
Pick (someone’s) brains
Pull (somebody’s) leg
Recipe for disaster
Sit on the fence
Square meal
Thrown to the wolves
Two can play that game
White lies
Beat the clock Badger (someone)
Bread and butter Break bread
Break the ice
Break silence
Cash cow
Cat burglar
Chew the fat
Cloud nine
Cry your eyes outCry wolf
Cut corners
Cut the mustard
Drop like flies Eat (one’s) words
Food for thought From the heart Get (one’s) goat Give (someone) five
Go nuts
Grain of salt
Hands down
Hard to swallow
Head off
Heart to heart Hit the brakes Hit the dirt
Hit the sack
Hit a snag
Hold the phone Hold your horses
In the doghouse In the same boat
Keep your eye on Kill time
Lose count
Lose ground
Lose heart
Lose (one’s) nerve Lose touch
Lose track
Off the hook
On fire
One-track mind Out of (one’s) head
Over (one’s) headPack a punch
Pie in the sky
Piece of cake
Play possum
Raining cats and dogs
Sink or swim
See eye to eye
“Smarty pants” Spice of life
Take five
(the) third degree
Tough cookie
Two left feet
Up the creek
Weasel out
(been) around the block Get under (somebody’s) skin
Have a bone to pick (with someone)
Keep it under (one’s) hat Knock (someone) over with a feather
No such thing as a free lunch
Put (one’s) heart in (something)
Work around the clock
Beat around the bush
Break a habit
Break stride
Cat got your tongue?
Couch potato
Cup of tea
Down to earth
Fish for compliments
Frog in the throat
Go hog wild
Gravy boat
Have a heart Hit the books
Hit the road
Hit a wall
Horse around
Joined at the hip
Lend a hand
Lose (one’s) head
Lose sleep
Make a beeline
On the ball
Out of steam
Pay through the nose
Play by ear
Salt of the earth
Sitting ducks
Spill the beans
Three’s a crowd
Under the weather
When pigs fly
Bite off more than (one) can chew
Get to the heart of (something)
Have (one’s) cake and eat it too
Kill two birds with one stone
Leave a bad taste in (one’s) mouth
Put (one’s) foot in (one’s) mouth
That’s the way the cookie crumbles
Yell (one’s) head off
49
The Complete Vocal Score for
Alice’s Adventures with Idioms
The written music for this show is available from Bad Wolf Press in lead sheet
format: the melody, words, and chord symbols.
This compilation includes all the songs for Alice’s Adventures with Idioms and
is highly suitable for musicians on the go. It is absolutely necessary if you plan
live musical accompaniment of the show.
50
But Wait...There’s More!
Complete Your Collection
Can’t get enough of this play? We don’t blame you. You can also purchase
sheet music (printed or downloadable) and extra/replacement audio
recordings (CD or digital download). Just visit our web site, send in a
purchase order, or use the order form in our catalog.
Costumes
Many teachers use custom t-shirts as costumes for our plays, and now you
can design and buy them directly from us! Our t-shirt shop features tons of
illustrations from our shows, as well as standard clip art, that you can use to
create inexpensive costumes for your actors. We also have pre-existing designs
for each play to save you time. Visit the shop at badwolfshirts.com.
Discounts
We offer money-saving site licenses and school packs for entire grade levels or
schools. See our web site or catalog for more details.
Though you are not required to buy scripts or audio recordings for students,
they are available at half-price as long as at least ten books or CDs are
purchased in one transaction. We will ship all the materials to the same
address. It’s the perfect and inexpensive way for a teacher to put high-quality
literature and music into young impressionable minds. Contact us to order!
The fine print: this offer is for student use only. Teachers/directors may
purchase copies at regular retail price only. We are cheerfully making
this show available to students at a price barely above cost. Please don’t
take unauthorized advantage of our simple-mindedness and turn us
into just another crestfallen and cynical team of songwriters squeezing
the last nickel out of the innocent children of America.
To order from Bad Wolf Press
If you have any questions about ordering from Bad Wolf Press, please contact
us at any of the addresses or numbers listed below. Be sure to check out our
web site for tips on producing plays, as well as partial scripts and songs from
all our shows.
Have you any ideas or suggestions regarding musicals? Let us know so we can
alert the rest of the civilized world!
Please contact us at: Bad Wolf Press
216 Mt. Hermon Rd Ste E372
Scotts Valley, CA 95066
Toll Free: 1-888-827-8661
badwolfpress.com
1