Parent and Child
Dedication
Published by:
Clayton Baptist Church
110 South Delsea Drive
Clayton, New Jersey 08312
(856)881-5454
YOU HAVE MADE A WISE DECISION!
NOTES
Congratulations! You have made a wise decision to share in our parent/
child dedication. Just as Abraham offered his son and Hannah dedicated
hers, so you have committed yourself to dedicating your precious son or
daughter to the Lord.
Hopefully this little booklet will help you prepare your own heart to
make this serious commitment. This ceremony is called a Parent/Child
dedication because actually this will be a time of presenting your child
officially before the Lord and committing yourself to raising your little
one for the Lord.
I have never met a parent who wanted to be a failure as a parent, but I
have met many who wish with all their hearts they had it to do all over
again. If you put Jesus first in your own life, and help your child to do
the same, you can be a successful parent. The challenge before you,
however, is an awesome one. It will require everything you can bring to
it. A woman was visiting a friend who had two beautiful children. With
apparently no thought to the meaning of her words, the guest said, "I'd
give my life to have two such children." To which the mother replied
with earnestness, "That's exactly what it takes."
At this parent/child dedication, you will be saying you are prepared to
give the task your very best effort.
PARENT/CHILD DEDICATION: WHAT IT’S
NOT!
Many people are confused about what a Parent/Child dedication is, so
we will begin with an explanation of what it isn’t.
Dedication is not baptism
A dedication service is not the same as an infant baptism or a
“Christening.” Some churches encourage parents in their membership to
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Friends
God has made us as social beings. We really need friends- especially
friends who will help us grow in the Lord. Some suggestions:

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Always be ready to have friends visit with your child at your house
or at the home of a Christian friend of yours who you know has the
same standards as you. It may be less of a hassle to just let your
kids go somewhere else, but why not let your home be the one kids
like to come to? This way you get to know your children’s friends
and their parents firsthand.
It is especially helpful if your whole family can find another
Christian family you can begin to build friendships with. Then you
can even plan family trips together or alternate baby-sitting. Maybe
one day you can all go on a mission trip together! Who knows?
Pray seriously about whether you can somehow afford a Christian
school for your kids. Such a school will not guarantee Christian
friends, but it will go a long way toward encouraging the formation
of lifelong friendships with other kids who love God.
In Conclusion:
Perhaps you thought a Parent/Child Dedication wasn’t such a big thing!
But like so much in life, your degree of success in raising children is
directly proportional to the amount of effort you put into it. Remember
that God has begun a good work in your life and in your home. What
He begins He sticks to.
Phil 1:6
… he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion
until the day of Christ Jesus.
May our Lord richly bless you as you present your children before him
in dedication and as seek to “raise them in the training and instruction
of the Lord.”
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baptize their children. This is often done by sprinkling water on the
child or by some other means.
However, baptism is always portrayed throughout the New Testament
as something which someone who has already trusted in Christ receives
as an outward expression of an inward faith. Since many children are
dedicated as infants, this could never be the equivalent of baptism or
“Christening.”
Dedication is not salvation
The parent/child dedication cannot assure our children of salvation.
Neither can our faith guarantee that our little ones will go to heaven.
Bringing them to church will not get them to heaven. Having them
participate in a service such as a parent/child dedication will not assure
them of heaven.
At the youngest possible age we need to help our children understand
the gospel so they can trust in Christ the way you have. Each of the
following truths are foundational truths which your child needs to
understand. Please avoid unbiblical expressions like, “accept Jesus into
your heart.” These popular phrases actually confuse a child. Pray that
God will give you wisdom in communicating the following truths from
the earliest age.
 We are all sinners.:
Rom 3:23
“… all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”
You and I have lived long enough to prove this statement. And
when your little is old enough he or she will prove it too. For the
small child explain that sinning is “doing bad things.”
 Sin has a terrible result
Rom 6:23a
“For the wages of sin is death
The Bible speaks of three different forms of death. The first is
physical death when the body is separated from the soul. This
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separation is only temporary for those who receive Christ by faith. The
second is spiritual death (Ephesians 2:1) which is separation from God.
We were all born like this but by trusting in Christ we are brought
back to Him. The third is eternal separation from God in Hell. This is
the terrible fate of all who do not respond to the gospel. Of course, a
small child cannot understand all of this, but he or she should certainly
understand that God must punish sin.
Here are some suggestions:

Make Sunday morning worship a non-negotiable item in your
home.
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Take your children to a Sunday School where there are some other
kids their age and where teachers obviously care about the students.
At the same time, attend Sunday School yourself.
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Spend time reviewing any Sunday School and Junior Church papers
or crafts your child may bring home. Avoid an “I already know all
of this stuff” attitude and get excited about what excites your
children. Maybe you should “prime the pump” by saying, “We’ll
see you after Sunday School and you can show us what you’ve
learned.”
Christ died in our place to take the penalty for our sins so that we
would not receive that penalty of death, but rather the gift of eternal
life.

Do discuss with each other or with your children what you learned
in church today. Didn’t learn anything? Perhaps you need to
establish the habit of searching for one truth you can get a hold of
each week.
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Give the Sunday evening service a try. In this way you begin
Sunday with church and end Sunday with church- what a great way
to start the new week!

Do not ever criticize another church member in your children’s
presence. Long after you have forgotten what bothered you, your
child is left with the impression that maybe he has missed how bad
these church people really are.
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Please remember that club programs such as AWANA and
Stockade, youth programs, kid’s choirs are all things that help your
child find a place of fulfillment and friendship in the church. Many
would have trouble believing that my 8 year old daughter cries
bitterly when she can’t get to Kid’s Korner on Wednesday night.
Believe me, if you take the effort to interest your child in church
when she is little, by the time she is a pre-teen you’ll have to hold
her back.
Jesus received our punishment so we wouldn’t
have to:
Rom 5:8
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we
were still sinners, Christ died for us.
 We receive eternal life by faith alone:
Ephesians 2:8-9
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-- and
this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-- not by works, so
that no one can boast.
Faith simply means to trust in God’s promise that He will save us by
believing that Jesus died in our place and for our sins.
No ceremony could ever accomplish the wonderful salvation which we
have through faith in Christ. Instead, in this ceremony we officially
commit ourselves to raising our children in such a way that at the earliest
possible age they will trust in Christ and live faithfully for Him always.
Dedication is not the decision of your child
This service is not the dedication of the child, rather it is the dedication of
the parents. When you stand in front of the congregation, your child will
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Have regular times of family devotions. At the very least, by praying
at every meal you establish the fact that as a family we look to God
for everything. Family devotions should be regular, brief and as
enjoyable as you can make them. Using a book such as Kenneth
Taylor's "Bible Pictures for Little Eyes" can help make a family Bible
time fun for a child. A friend of mine once sat in on a Senior Citizens
Sunday School class. Each member was asked what they would tell a
younger family was the thing they would put most emphasis on if
they had it to do over again. Almost every one of the 30+ members of
this class said having regular family devotions would be one thing
they would wish to have the opportunity to do over again. Some of
these dear saints said this through tears of sorrow as they reflected
upon children who no longer seemed to have any heart for God.
Listen and learn.
have little idea of what is happening. But as you hold or stand beside
your child you are making a public statement of your intent to “train up
(your) child in the way he should go” (Prov. 22:6). Do not
underestimate the significant impact a sincere parent dedication will
have on your child.
TRAINING GODLY CHILDREN
We have discussed what this dedication is not. Now we turn to what it
is. What is it that you will be dedicating yourself to when you stand
with your child before the congregation and the Lord in a ceremony of
dedication? The following verse gives us a brief summary statement of
what a truly dedicated parent does:
Eph 6:4
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring
them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Church Life:
Heb 10:25
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Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the
habit of doing, but let us encourage one another-- and all the more
as you see the Day approaching.
Many no longer appreciate how essential regular involvement in the local
church is for their families. Please note the use of the word “habit” in the
text above. Not all habits are bad, but the habit of missing church most
certainly is. Many modern Christians make a very big mistake by
deciding anew each week whether they will attend Sunday School and
church. A regular habit of church attendance makes this decision process
unnecessary and painless.
Parents sometimes say, “but I don’t want to force my children to go to
church. I was forced and didn’t like it.” Would you take a similar
approach to school attendance? Of course not! You wouldn’t argue the
matter because you would see a value which your children could not see.
That’s why God gave them parents.
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(please note that the word “fathers” can also translated
“parents.” This word indicates that when there is a father in the
home, he is ultimately responsible for the godly upbringing of
his children.)
Purposefully endeavor to have a home which
encourages godliness:
Speaking to both parents, but especially to dads, God says, “do not
create such an atmosphere in your home that you produce exasperated
children.” This term “exasperate” means literally to “lose heart”. Let’s
be honest about this. Too many kids who grow up in “Christian” homes
have very little interest in the things of God. Though there can be many
reasons for this sad reality, this text suggests the primary one.
Too many church kids are simply exasperated with a “Christianity” that
has very little appeal for them. Often times they have just given up- on
their parents, on the church, on the Lord. By thinking about the reasons
for such “losing heart” you can be sure to create a home which will
encourage your precious child to live for the Lord.
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Parenting positive, happy and godly kids is most definitely within your
reach. “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will
not turn from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)
24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother
and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
You and your spouse have a covenant relationship which is a
permanent bond. Your relationship with your children is a
temporary one which prepares them for independence. Your
children prosper best and feel most secure when they sense that
mom and dad are profoundly committed to each other
Following are some enduring Biblical principles of child training and
some tried-and-true practical suggestions which can help you be the
parent God wants and will help you to be.
Live the way you want your children to live
Some Christians are highly regarded by everyone in church except their
own children. Our kids notice when we look ever so spiritual in church
but can’t wait to get home to tear down the pastor, the music, the “poorly
dressed” people in church or whatever else they can find to criticize.
Think about it. Why would a kid want to sit still for a service with
people who he knows his mom and dad find intolerable? It’s utterly
exasperating!
One surefire, tested and true way to produce a child who will lose all
heart for God is to insist that she be respectful and courteous while Mom
and Dad are disrespectful and rude to one another or to her. Frequently
ask yourself, “How would I feel if someone treated me the way I treat
my children?”
It has been correctly said, “the greatest gift a man can give to his
children is to love his wife.” When the scripture says that the marriage is
a picture of the relationship between Christ and his church (Ephesians
5:25), we can easily see why marital disharmony makes it really difficult
for some kids to desire the things of God. The understanding your
children have about God will be strongly influenced by what kind of a
person you are. Will you help them to see a small picture of what a
loving and wise God would be like?
Further, if we would avoid exasperating our kids, we need to make sure
that they know they are our priority. Pastor Tony Evans tells of a former
major league baseball super-star. As a boy, he, his friends, and his father
were playing ball. They played regularly and the grass had really taken a
beating as a result. One day as he and the children were playing ball in
their yard, the boy's mother leaned out of the window and called, "Can't
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Consider whether it is in any way possible for Mom to stay at
home. We often sacrifice eternal things for temporary ones. Many
who “can’t afford to have Mom stay home” have new cars and nice
homes. Consider driving the old clunker, staying in a smaller home,
wearing clothes purchased at “Goodwill” or the “Salvation Army
Store.” By doing this, you can teach your kids to value what God
values and you may well be able to give them the great gift of a
Mom who is there for them. As with so many things in life, the
hardest and least appreciated tasks are often the most important.
How true this is of a mom who sacrifices career and nice things
because she puts her kids’ needs first. Being that kind of a mom is a
challenging assignment, but God has a wonderful promise for her:
Prov 31:28-31
28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and
he praises her:
29 "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who
fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring
her praise at the city gate.
Read to your children. Few practices have been more frequently shown
to help kids succeed in school and life than reading to them when they
are little. My daughter is totally excited about learning of missionaries
in China because my wife has read her the story of Gladys Ahlward.
Christian book stores and many church libraries are full of fun and
beneficial books to read to your children.
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consistently, diligently and early will head off endless headaches and
regrets later.
Effective discipline aims for the child’s best long term
interests
“Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best;
but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his
holiness.” (Hebrews 12:10)
God disciplines His people for our good, not just for His. We should not
discipline a disrespectful child because her disrespect aggravates us.
Rather, we want to change her behavior so she will not grow up with
the curse of being a disrespectful person! This distinction may sound
like hair-splitting but, I assure you, it is infinitely important. To punish
a child because the child’s behavior is annoying you is wrong (though,
admittedly, this is better than not being disciplined at all!). We
discipline our kids because we have learned that an undisciplined child
will be an unhappy adult. One day our children will enter a world full of
people who really feel no special attachment to them. Instead, they will
evaluate them primarily on the basis of their character. Character
formation is the task to which all parents are called.
GUIDING YOUR CHILD IN THE WAYS OF
THE LORD
By participating in a Parent/Child Dedication, you are committing
yourself to spiritual training. Here are some tried-and-true suggestions
that can help you.
Your parent/child dedication says that you are committed to living a
lifestyle which is consistent with Christian values so that your child can
see in you the love, the integrity and the wisdom of God. Since you
have the Holy Spirit living in you through faith, not only is this possible
but, actually, our Lord expects it of you. You can do it!
Phil 4:13
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I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Training requires discipline
Both training and instruction are necessary to raise godly kids. Training
can be defined as “teaching with teeth.” When I tell my three-year-old
not to talk back to her mother, I am instructing her to obey the 5th
Commandment. When I demonstrate a respectful attitude toward my
wife, explain to my daughter what is required and discipline her when
she disobeys, I am training her. Both aspects of child rearing are
absolutely essential. The more difficult of the two is training- but it’s
really not all that hard! Furthermore, though many can instruct your
child only you can really train your son or daughter. As you stand
before the Lord in a service of Parent/Child Dedication you are, in
effect, declaring that you want God’s help as you seriously go about the
task of training your little one to live in the ways of the Lord.
Discipline works
Family Life:
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you guys find somewhere else to play? You're killing the grass." The
man looked at his wife and answered, "Honey, we aren't raising grass,
we're raising kids!"
Make sure your relationship with your spouse is more important to
you than your relationship with your child.
Gen 2:23-24
23 The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of
my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out
of man."
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“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on,
however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for
those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12:11)
Effective discipline has four basic characteristics. First, effective
discipline has the goal of reinforcing godly behavior. Second, effective
discipline is reasonable and age- adjusted. Third, effective discipline is
consistent and diligent. Fourth, effective discipline is for the sake of
your child, not yourself.
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Effective discipline reinforces Godly behavior
I hope your realize that your child is not at all inclined to naturally do what
pleases God. This is what David meant went he said, “Surely I was sinful
at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.” (Psalm 51:6) You
will discover, if you have not already done so, that David was not a unique
case.
You and I were born sinners and so was your child. It is important to
remember this for at least three reasons.
 First, please don’t be shocked when your child misbehaves. What else
would you expect that a sinner would do? Mary is not talking back and
disobeying because she ate too much candy! The real problem is
almost always far less mysterious and more serious. Our children are
sinners, just like us!
 Second, please remember that the parenting task involves lovingly
turning a child from a naturally wayward direction towards one that
pleases God and, ultimately, the child as well. Folly is bound up in
the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from
him. (Prov 22:15)
 Third, we are responsible before God to teach and train our children in
godly behavior. In order to do this properly, we need to know what
God says. In other words, we need to become experts in what God
requires of us and our children, so we can know what they must learn.
Effective discipline is reasonable and age- adjusted
An overabundance of rules and regulations is a grief to anyone. Some
parents seem determined to prove they are the boss by loading their kids
up with so many rules that are simply unreasonable or meaningless. There
is a certain type of leader who gives you rules just to remind you he is in
charge. Don’t do it. It will be totally frustrating to your child and a great
burden to you.
If you stick to disciplining for purposeful defiance of godly standards
you’ll be on the right track. We don’t discipline childish forgetfulness or
lack of understanding or for having difficulty learning arithmetic. When
your child starts school, always remember to be more concerned about the
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right side of the report card than about the left. Left side generally
evaluates academic achievement but the right side tells us about
character.
Also, there are discipline methods which are appropriate for a four-yearold, such as spanking, that are not appropriate to a teen. I believe it was
Dr. James Dobson who said about discipline, “Pick your battles carefully
and win decisively.” Excellent advice.
Effective discipline is consistent and diligent
He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is
careful to discipline him. (Prov 13:24)
Correcting or punishing a child for disobedience can be a real hassle at
times. It is often easier to simply ignore a problem than to deal with it.
But experience indicates that small problems not dealt with now always
lead to bigger ones later. If you are diligent to discipline when your child
is young, he’ll be a joy as he grows. If you are lazy or unreasonable
regarding discipline both you and you child will come to regret it.
Suppose you were playing on a softball team, but the rules for the game
changed every time you went to play. What a frustration. That’s how
children feel when discipline is based upon the energy or mood of the
parent. Instead, your child will be greatly helped if he knows that the
rules are always the same and the punishment for breaking them is also
the same.
Your children are the most likely to succeed and be happy in life if you
will discipline them diligently. When our first child was born, many said,
“Oh, you’re excited now, but just wait until he reaches the ‘terrible
twos’.” When he was a greater joy at two than he had been before, many
said, “Just wait until he starts school- then you’ll see how bad it can get.”
When we were prouder and even happier when Stephen was in
elementary school, they pulled out the reliable, “Just wait until he’s a
teenager- they’re agony.” Wrong again! You know what? Linda and I
are imperfect parents who have now raised three children through high
school and into college. We also have a daughter in elementary school.
Our first is almost finished graduate school and is married and each of
these four has been a joy in every age. Do not allow the negativity of
our culture to discourage you from the task. Discipline applied
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