My Soon-To-Be
Legendary-Cuz-It’s-Dead-On
AMEX Black Card Interview
I gotta post some of it below so that those who are too lazy to click links can see what all the hype is
about…
These are just a few select questions-and-answers, see the full article H
​ERE:​
So Tim, what are your thoughts on the black card?
I think it’s got some great benefits and features and it’s definitely bragworthy, but I doubt it’s right
for anybody who doesn’t own their own biz, is worth less than a few mil or for any cheap Jews. In
fact, I think the Torah specifically states in Cheapjewonomy 3:23-7:11: “Thou shalt not spend
$2,500/year on something so superficial”
In order to be in the Who’s Who on Wall Street, is a black card a
requirement? If not, is there another card that people are starting to
flaunt now?
No, in order to be WWoWS you just have to be a prick and willing to lie, cheat and steal—depending
on the situation/client. A black card is just one of the many possible trophies you receive for being
such a shitty human being/above-average financier.
The card now being flaunted around is the BOB card, or Banking On Bankruptcy card—as in “I’m
banking from betting that your firm is going bankrupt.” It’s getting more popular by the day,
especially among the hedge fund crowd.
Does it seem like everyone on Wall Street has one, or is still a symbol
of having “arrived”?
Many of the true higher ups—and even moreso the
wanna-appear-to-be-higher-ups-but-really-have-little-talent-importance-or-intelligence-just-family
-money-connections-or-coke-problems-usually-all-three—definitely have one. Throw a bag of blow
at anyone dining at Per Se, Masa or Daniel on any given night and chances are you’ll hit a black
cardmember, not to mention you’d get a good laugh from watching the mad scramble for the bag
itself as if it were Barry Bonds’ 756th home run ball. (If anyone takes me up on that suggestion,
please put the video on ​
youtube,​
it’s got viral written all over it!)
What is the largest purchase, with the card, you have heard of
someone making?
One of my fund manager acquaintances booked a week and a half stay at the Bellagio Villas, which
at $6,000/night, came to $60,000 or so (see the pics ​
HERE)​and that was before all his costly “perks”.
I was invited to go, but there were three problems a.) I don’t do coke so I would’ve been the oddball
of the group b.) I was in the middle of a big stock trade so I didn’t want any distractions and c.) I had
just come down with a nasty sinus infection.
Story of my life, my Jewishness, stock trading and lack of a drug addiction combined to prevent me
from having fun at someone else’s expense. Life could be worse.