Tips for Parents by Susie Kohl
‘The Hardest Word to Say’
“W
HAT’S THE HARDEST WORD IN THE WORLD TO SAY?”
“Mr. Chris” Cameron asked
his three- and four-year-old students at Circle Time. I thought the word might be
“antidisestablishmentarianism.” Many of the preschoolers raised their hands to
proclaim the words they found most challenging. After the flurry, Chris said the most difficult
word for anyone to say is “sorry.” He went on to explain the reason: because it is hard for us to
admit that we’ve made a mistake and simply apologize.
When we ask children if they want to make amends, they sometimes remain silent or say “sorry”
in a quick, almost sarcastic way. We don’t want to force children to say “sorry” when they don’t
mean it, but how do we teach them the value of apologizing, as a cornerstone of relating to others? We know offering a sincere apology will relieve them of guilt and revive the possibility of
positive interaction to continue.
To make children feel comfortable expressing remorse, we start by not reacting intensely when
they make a mistake. They need to feel safe talking about what they’ve done wrong. In addition,
we need to be role models of courageous accountability, admitting when we’ve erred. “I’m sorry,
I shouldn’t have been so abrupt with you when you asked me a question in the car!” We need to
demonstrate that asking for someone’s pardon doesn’t mean that we are inadequate but strong
enough to admit freely when we are wrong.
January 11, 2017
© 2017 The Meher Schools