Los Angeles Unified School District | Division of Adult and Career Education
Guide to Evaluating
Student Writing Samples
A d u l t
Secondary
Education
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introduction
……………………………………….
1
Content Guide
……………………………………….
2
Student Placement in English 1-4
……………………………………….
3
ASE Writing Rubric
……………………………………….
4-5
Notes on Evaluating Writing Samples ……………………………………….
6
Section 1
Section 2
Intake Writing Samples
……………………………………….
7-15
Assignments: English 1-4
……………………………………….
16
CAHSEE Scoring Guide
……………………………………….
17-18
Writing Prompts: English 1-4
……………………………………….
19
……………………………………….
20-32
Sample Writing Topics
……………………………………….
33
Guidelines for Administration
……………………………………….
33
Reproducible Writing Worksheets
……………………………………….
34-39
Section 3
Representative Student
Student Writing Samples:
English 1-4
Section 4
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
2
EVALUATING STUDENT WRITING SAMPLES
Introduction
The revised ASE Guide to Evaluating Student Writing
Samples is a ready tool to help counselors and instructors
evaluate writing samples for the purpose of appropriate
student placement within the standards-based, UC “a-g”approved ASE English Language Arts continuum.
For students who score below the recommended 9.0 on the
TABE-D and whose writing skills do not at least reflect
English 1 skills as described by the ASE Writing Rubric,
counselors should refer to the Adult Basic Education Guide
for Counselors and Instructors/Writing Rubric with Writing
Samples for more suitable language arts placement.
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
1
Content Guide
SECTION
One
PURPOSE
describes the characteristics of student writing for
placement in English 1, 2, 3, and 4
provides Adult Secondary Education Language Arts
Writing Rubric
Two
consists of a selection of student writing samples
produced by students at intake in the counseling office
Note: The student writing samples were evaluated according
to the rubric and scored for placement in English 1 through 4.
Evaluators annotated these graded essays to provide a
window into the evaluation process.
Three
collects student writing written in DACE learning centers
in response to a representative assignment from each of
the DACE learning contracts for English 1, 2, 3, and 4
presents three graded papers for the representative
assignment for each course:
1) Competent
2) Strong
3) Superior
Note: These additional writing samples offer a snapshot of
the expected performance level typical of students working
successfully in each course. Hopefully, these sample
assignments provide teachers and counselors with a helpful
context to use the ASE Writing Rubric to place students.
Four
provides suggestions for administering an evaluative
writing task
offers sample writing topics and reproducible Writing
Sample Worksheets
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
2
Section 1
ASE Writing
Rubric
Students have the right to expect a real opportunity to
succeed, and one of the keys to providing this opportunity,
particularly in language arts, is appropriate placement.
Optimal placement is possible when the entering student not
only takes the TABE-D test of reading comprehension, but
also produces a writing sample. Typically, the counselor
evaluates this writing sample; however, collaboration by the
receiving teacher and the counselor is ideal.
It is generally recommended that students who score below
9.0 on the TABE-D test of reading comprehension should be
enrolled in an ABE course. Because reading comprehension is
crucial to achieving success in all the language arts classes, a
student who scores below the recommended reading level
should be placed in ABE, even if his or her writing sample is
evaluated at the English 1 level. On the other hand, if a
student scores adequately in reading comprehension, but
produces a writing sample below the English 1 level,
placement is left to the discretion of teacher and counselor.
However, in general, a student with a solid reading score will
be able to achieve CAHSEE and GED-level writing
competency if he or she works through the English Language
Arts continuum.
The ASE Writing Rubric that follows is designed to describe
the characteristics of student writing suitable for placement in
English 1-4. When using the rubric, refer to the graded
writing samples in Section 2 for concrete illustrations.
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
3
Adult Secondary Education
English Writing Rubric for Class Placement
ENGLISH 1
(230171)
ENGLISH 2
(230172)
Response to the
Writing Task
provides a main idea, which
may be somewhat general,
but is responsive to the
writing task
provides a main idea that
is responsive to the
writing task
Organization
simply but logically ordered
shows evidence of an
organizational plan
Development
supports main idea with
details and examples, but
thinly
provides fitting specific
details without repetition
Word Choice
appropriate but narrow
vocabulary
some word choice errors
occasional lack of precise
words
tone may be inconsistent
vague sense of audience
appropriate and somewhat
varied word choice
suitable tone and some
sense of audience
Conventions
demonstrates correct syntax
with regularity
exhibits overall awareness of
sentences and complete
thoughts
usually shows correct
placement of periods and
initial capitalization
produces some fragments,
comma splices and run-ons,
but meaning is not obscured
demonstrates clear sense of
verb tense differentiation
shows some inconsistency
with subject verb agreement
exhibits fairly consistent
use of end punctuation
and initial capitalization
in complete sentences
uses a variety of sentence
structures
produces very few
fragments, comma splices
or run-ons
shows only occasional
lapses in subject-verb
agreement
and Tone
of the English
Language
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
4
Adult Secondary Education
English Writing Rubric for Class Placement
ENGLISH 3
(230173)
ENGLISH 4
(230174)
establishes a focused main
idea in response to the
writing task
fashions a meaningful
main idea to respond to
the writing task
Organization
establishes a clear and
logical organization
evidences a sound,
purposeful organization
Development
shows ease in producing
reasonable examples and
interesting details without
much repetition
thoroughly supports the
main idea with concrete
details and cogent
examples
Word Choice
employs varied vocabulary
spirit of the text is apt
suitable voice and sense of
audience
ideas are expressed in
vivid, varied vocabulary
assured tone; precise
sense of audience
uses a variety of sentence
structures: simple,
compound, and complex.
For example, correctly uses
such introductory words as:
“despite” and “although”
shows able use of commas
produces few structural
errors, such as fragments
and run-ons
exhibits a confident,
fluent control of a variety
of sentence structures
demonstrates very few
grammatical errors
Response to the
Writing Task
And Tone
Conventions
of the English
Language
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
5
Section 2
NOTES ON EVALUATING WRITING SAMPLES
™ When wavering about placing a student, the prudent evaluator will
choose the lower of two courses rather than the higher. Placing a
student at a frustration level may significantly reduce the chances for
success. The classroom teacher, with ample opportunity for
interaction and observation, is in the best position to determine that
the student has perhaps tested poorly and should be moved higher.
Moving a struggling learner to a lower course is, at the very least,
dispiriting for the student, and is easily avoided by conservative
placement.
™ Using writing samples to place students is crucial if language arts
instruction is to be truly competency-based. Nevertheless, it has
sometimes been a practice to ignore a student’s competency-based
evaluation and place the student in a higher course, by virtue of the
student’s credit needs. In an attempt to ameliorate inappropriate
placement, the receiving teacher may be directed to “remediate.”
Although done with the best of intentions, this practice has the
potential to short-change the student. Critical thinking, critical
reading, and critical writing, like all skills, are resistant to shortcuts
and require practice and development.
™ Evaluators, as a rule, should be cautious about placing students
directly into courses above English 4. However, if a student’s writing
sample is strong, evidencing the characteristics described in the rubric
for English 4 and approximating the skill levels of the English 4
sample assignments rated Strong and Superior, teacher and counselor
should use their best judgment in placing the student appropriately.
All students placed in English Composition-Contemporary, LiteratureAmerican, English Composition-Expository, and Literature-Modern
should demonstrate at least a 10th grade reading level to meet the
challenges of the 11th and 12th grade standards upon which these
courses are based.
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
6
Intake Writing
Samples
LAUSD/DACE
Teachers who regularly read intake writing samples and then
go on to teach the students who produce the samples know
that many glaring errors are actually of minor significance in
terms of language arts placement. For example, spelling
problems, irregular verb use, and some pronoun agreement
errors do not necessarily indicate low-level placement.
Typically, non-syntactical, non-structural errors are easily
addressed in a reading and writing-rich language arts class.
As illustrated by the following student writing samples,
language fluency and fluidity, considered in the light of
reading comprehension level, provide the most valid
information for determining high school Language Arts
placement.
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
7
English Level 1 Placement
Writing Topic #3
TABE Score: 8.6
The person that influences me is my older
brother Phil, hes tall, short hair, black eyes,
and hes kind of dark skined. My brother Phil,
is a very funny guy if your having a bad day he
will pretty much cheer you up with his jokes.
The reason I look up to my brother Phil is,
because hes always been there for me in the good
times and in the bad times. He is the proud
owner of a Auto Detail Company, and one day I
would love to be where he is in life.
Pretty much my brother Phil is the coolest
guy in my list. Hes thought me a lot of facts
of life, that have been helpful to me.
Writing Topic #2
TABE Score: 8.6
It all happened on a Wednesday. I was walking along a
sidewalk when I was being approached by two ball headed
thugs. They told me empty all your pockets. I din’t want
to because I had my cell, phone my ipod, and had berly
cashed my pay check. The two thugs din’t have pashience
with me so they started punching me and kicking me.
They ended up leaving me on the floor beaten up. They
took my cell phone my ipod and my money. That was the
biggest disappointment I ever had worst day ever.
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
Commentary
▪ Topic sentence
provides general main
idea
▪ Comma splice and
errors in punctuation
do not obscure a
simply organized,
coherent response to
the prompt
▪ Basic reading level
Commentary
▪ Fairly narrow
vocabulary used
effectively to present
narrative
▪ Concluding sentence
is a run-on but reveals
grasp of organization
▪ Errors in spelling and
punctuation, but good
overall sense of
sentences and
complete thoughts
▪ Basic reading level
July 2007
8
English Level 1 Placement
Writing Topic #2
(cont.)
TABE Score: 8.6
When I was just starting high school, I saw
the cutest girl in school her name was Samantha.
She was a very nice, sweat, beautiful in the
inside and out. Whenever I was sad, mad she
would make me feel better. So I asked her out
and said yes, I was so happy and proud of
myself. It was Valentines day, and I took her a
bid teddy bear and roses, lots of balloons too.
But in a few months we started arguing and
getting mad at each other so we broke up. She
hadd really disappointed me because I really
trusted her and will ever trust.
Writing Topic #2
TABE Score: 8.0
On one occasion when I was really disappointed is when I
went to a house party with one of my friends. It all
happened on one night we were out celebrating another
friends birthday. We were all coming from our friends
birthday dinner and had nothing else to do, so decided to
hit up a part we all heard about. So we went. When we
arrived the party was in full effect. There were so many
people inside people started taking the party outside. We
all went in and decided to mingle. As I’m moving swiftly
through saying hello to everyone I knew I accidently
stepped on one guys shoe. Watch where your going he
replied. Before I could apologize he pushed me. So I push
him back and we get into a scuffle. All of my friends ran to
help except one because he was talking to a girl. That
made me so angry because h e’d rather talk to a girl rather
than help me.
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
Commentary
▪ Despite comma
splices, run-ons, and
other errors, many
concrete details help
to adequately convey
main idea
▪ Basic reading level
Commentary
▪ Good basic sentence
structure and syntax
employed to clearly
describe incident
▪ Punctuation errors
▪ Uneven sense of
audience
▪ Conversational tone
▪ Basic reading level
July 2007
9
English Level 2 Placement
Writing Topic #3
TABE Score: 9.2
Commentary
▪ Clear, organized
response to prompt
▪ Appropriate tone and
sense of audience
▪ Spelling and
punctuation errors,
but good sentence
variety
▪ Adequate reading
comprehension
A person who had an important influence upon
me I would have to say one of my close friends
his names Rex he is about 5 feet 8 inches tall
dark skin short hair and skinny. The reason I
would say he’s had a great influence on my life
is because he’s gone threw a lot and still
managed to never give up and work hard achieve
what he wants to achieve. That has influenced me
a lot because it has taught me that if I really
want something in Life i have to work hard for it
and never give up even if it feels like ur never
gonna make it. That is why I look up to him. If
it wasn’t for him I don’t think i would of come
here to continue with my education.
Writing Topic #3
TABE Score: 10.5
Commentary
My dad is a very hard working man I would say dad has a
very important influence on me because he has always been
there when we need him. His a friend when you need one
and a father too. His one of those person that you can talk
too whenever youre in trouble. My dad will help you in
anything he can. I feel so proud of my dad because he has
always work just for me and my brothers. Everything he’ll
get is just for me and my brothers first and then for him.
He has really influenced from all of the things he has done.
And that’s why I look up too him so much because for him
his sons and daughters come first than anything else.
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
▪ Main idea is
responsive to the
writing task and
adequately supported
▪ Some support is
repetitious or vague
▪ Some errors of
punctuation and
sentence structure
▪ Solid reading
comprehension
July 2007
10
English Level 2 Placement (cont.)
Writing Topic #3
TABE Score: 9.2
There was a time when white people and black
people were treating different creating
segregation between them. Black people were
treating almost like slaves. Until one man
raised his head and saw how his people was
suffering. His name was Martin Luther King a
black person, a lawyer born in Virginia. He
fought for the right to be treating equal, he
said no one is different no matter their race,
their religion, their color, their sex, all of
us are human being and we have the same rights.
For me Martin Luther King was a extraordinary
man who show me that no matter how different a
person is we have been created equal and have
to be treated that way as well.
Writing Topic #3
TABE Score: 10.5
We always have someone who influenced us in life.
Some people call it a role model. The person who
influenced me was my mom. She is tall: 5 10 and abut
130 pounds. She is very hardworking unlike other mother
who alway stay home and doing nothing, my mom have
always been very active she takes care of her children,
work hard by building a very big business empire. She
could have stay home and just be a house wife because
our father makes enough to take care of us all, But she
did not. She taught us how to be independent by
combining family life and Business or work. Thanks to her
I realize that you can have both worlds to make your
dream come true.
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
Commentary
▪ A number of
structural and
punctuation and
spelling errors do not
diminish clarity and
power of main idea
▪ Good sentence variety
▪ Adequate reading
comprehension
Commentary
▪ Shows evidence of an
organizational plan in
support of main idea
▪ Little variety of
sentence structure;
some awkward syntax
▪ Solid reading
comprehension
July 2007
11
English Level 3 Placement
Writing Topic #3
TABE Score: 8.6
Long wavy black hair, with light brown skin,
not too tall, and chubby, is the person who has
had an important influence in my life. She has
taught me to not give up on what I want to
achieve and become in the future. Whenever I
have doubts about going to school and just
dropping out, she encourages me to keep going
and finish high school. In this case I told her
that I wanted to get my High School Diploma in
another school and she told me that it was fine,
as long as I was going to graduate and receive
it. My mother does not want me to feel
pressured into finishing school, because she was
pressured into studying something she did not
like and ended up not graduating and receiving
her Diploma.
Writing Topic #2
TABE Score: 8.6
When I was first arrested, I was disappointed with
myself and angry at the situation. I was disappointed in
myself for letting my mom down. She has always worked
hard in her life and fought against all kinds of problems
and struggles. I was proud of her and didn’t want to
burden her with any more problems, but I messed up, and
gave her more worries. Now I try think about my actions
and how it will help or harm my mother.
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
Commentary
▪ Sentence structure is
varied and relatively
complex
▪ Ideas are expressed in
vivid, varied
vocabulary
▪ Some errors of
agreement and
sentence structure
▪ Basic reading level
Commentary
▪ Sound, purposeful
organization supports
main idea
▪ Varied sentence
structure and
interesting vocabulary
▪ Basic reading level
July 2007
12
English Level 3 Placement
Writing Topic #2
TABE Score: 9.2
There was one time that I was disappointed
in my brother. It came about when he told me
that he was going to give me three hundred
dollars and a kitten for my birthday. So when
the time came he gave me the money and the
kitten. I was so happy and surprised when he
really gave it to me. That was actually one of
the best days in my life. So everything was
going perfect because I loved my kitten with all
my heart. And then one day I let my kitten go
outside to use the restroom and my brother told
me that he saw someone running away with my
kitten. And then a week later he told me that
had accidentally ran my kitten over when he was
coming in the drive way.
Writing Topic #1
TABE Score: 11.2
My favorite room would have to be the living room.
That is where my friends and I hang out and watch tv, and
just chill and talk tell each other what be been up to. We
also play “games” and watch movies. The living room has
so many chairs to sit on so that all my friends have
somewhere to sit at when they come over. The television
is big enough so that we can all view it from where we are
sitting at. So that is whey the living room is my favorite
room.
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
(cont.)
Commentary
▪ Narrative is effective
and moving
▪ Confident control of
sentence structure
and few errors
▪ Adequate reading
level
Commentary
▪ Establishes a focused
main idea, well
supported by
examples
▪ Diction and sentence
variety need
development
▪ Strong reading
comprehension
July 2007
13
English Level 4 Placement
Writing Topic #3
TABE Score: 12.9+
“You want to go smoke?” I was asked by a
peer. “No thanks,” I replied. That’s because I
don’t let my teen friends influence me. The
person that influences me is my grandmother,
Sandra. My grandmother stands at 5’ 7” and
she’s round with mocha colored skin. She’s very
beautiful and wears glasses. Around my third
birthday, my grandmother took me and my three
brothers and sisters in. Our mother was on
drugs at the time, so my granny took us in and
raised us. I have nothing but respect for her.
She is 53 now and looks great. We ate well as
children and still do today. She’s my influence
because she’s a strong black woman, and she
teaches me how to be a strong black man.
Writing Topic #1
TABE Score: 11.2
My favorite room would be the kitchen. It looks
terrific. When I am in the kitchen, it makes me feel like I
am in control, because in this room I am the master
creator of culinary delights. I can bake, sauté, simmer, or
just fry. My kitchen is decked out with the latest
appliances and cookware so it is a perfect sanctuary for
me to indulge my tastes and talents. All my appliances
are black and stainless steel my cabinets are virgin
lacquered, stainless steel sinks, it is very lovely, almost
too beautiful to cook in.
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
Commentary
▪ Confident use of
action and dialogue to
“show” rather than
tell
▪ A few details are
sufficient for impact
▪ Good buildup to
powerful concluding
sentence
▪ Strong reading
comprehension score
Commentary
▪ Distinctive voice
▪ Assured sense of
purpose and audience
▪ Rich, playful
vocabulary
▪ Despite comma splice
in final sentence, this
piece gives the
impression of a writer
with good command of
structure and a real
sense of style who is
ready for further
development
▪ Strong reading
comprehension
July 2007
14
English Level 4 Placement
Writing Topic #2
TABE Score: 10.5
At my age I have many experiences of
surprises and/or disappointment but the one
that is stuck in my head was when my then 17
year old daughter told me she was pregnant.
She surprised me with the news on a Saturday
morning when I was still in bed she nested in
my arms, ask if I love her and if I’ll still
love her even if she did something really,
really bad. I responded “yes of course you are
my baby girl. I’ll love you no matter what.”
And she dropped the “good” news. At first I
was shocked with surprise then I went thru
disappointment and sadness, but, then the
happiness of being a grandmother took over and
the feeling of happiness was stronger than one
of disappointment then watching my grandson
been born, it’s been the biggest and most
wonderful surprise in my life.
Writing Topic #2
TABE Score: 12.9
I took a seat near the corner of the crowded party
after the long dance. Next to me was a young guy who
seemed to be nervous. I asked him if he was okay. He
looked at me and told me “I shouldn’t be here.” I was
puzzled by his answer. Seconds later a guy wearing a
beanie comes out from a group of people and walks up to
the guy sitting next to me. For a moment I thought they
knew each other. The guy standing pulls out a gun from
his waist and points it directly at the guys face and
shoots! My body froze. I was completely shocked! The
guy looked dead. Everybody ran away and a couple
people dropped to the floor. After this day I always think
twice about sitting next to nervous people.
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
(cont.)
Commentary
▪ Confident narrative
voice: creates a sense
of drama in portrayal
of initial shock and
later acceptance
▪ Precise, evocative
vocabulary
▪ Comma splice and
other minor errors do
not diminish an
accomplished,
expressive response
to the prompt
▪ Solid reading
comprehension
Commentary
▪ Assured narrative voice:
compelling use of details
and dialogue for dramatic
effect
▪ Impressive sense of
audience: first sentence
rolls reader right into
action; concluding
sentence feels ironic, but
absolutely appropriate
for the prompt
▪ Comfortable command
of structure; ready for
polish and development
▪ Strong reading
comprehension
July 2007
15
Section 3
Representative
Student
Assignments:
English 1-4
The following writing samples were produced by students
enrolled in English 1, 2, 3, and 4 in a number of learning
centers employing the DACE Language Arts Individualized
Instruction contracts. As required by the contracts, students
received a final grade only after submitting pre-writing, a
first draft, and at least one revision.
For each contract, one representative assignment has been
selected and illustrated by three graded writing samples:
Competent: 80-87
Strong: 88-94
Superior: 95-100
These examples of student work are provided for two reasons:
1) For the evaluator placing new students, these
samples provide useful insight into the curriculum,
giving the evaluator a gauge of the rigor of the
language arts courses as he or she assesses the
more extemporaneous intake writing samples for
student placement
2) For the learning center teacher, these graded
student assignments offer examples to help the
instructor clarify his or her grading range from
competent to superior.
As an added reference, copies of the CAHSEE Scoring Guides
are included, and each sample assignment also has been
evaluated on the 1-4 scale of the CAHSEE Scoring Guide.
The rationale for this double evaluation is simple. Instructors
evaluate a course assignment based on the requirements of
the task and the underlying standards; however, given the
high stakes of the exit exam, it is reasonable to take a
regular, though informal, inventory of CAHSEE readiness.
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
16
CAHSEE SCORING GUIDE
(Response to Literature/Expository Text)
The response —
demonstrates a thoughtful, comprehensive grasp of the text.
accurately and coherently provides specific textual details and examples to support the thesis and
main ideas.
demonstrates a clear understanding of the ambiguities, nuances, and complexities of the text.
provides a variety of sentence types and uses precise, descriptive language.
contains few, if any, errors in the conventions* of the English language. (Errors are generally
first-draft in nature.)
Response to informational passages:
thoughtfully anticipates and addresses the reader’s potential misunderstandings,
biases, and expectations.
Response to literary passages:
clearly demonstrates an awareness of the author’s use of literary and/or stylistic
devices.
The response —
demonstrates a comprehensive grasp of the text.
accurately and coherently provides general textual details and examples to support
the thesis and main ideas.
demonstrates a general understanding of the ambiguities, nuances, and complexities
of the text.
provides a variety of sentence types and uses some descriptive language.
may contain some errors in the conventions* of the English language. (Errors do not
interfere with the reader’s understanding of the essay.)
Response to informational passages:
anticipates and addresses the reader’s potential misunderstandings, biases, and
expectations.
Response to literary passages:
demonstrates an awareness of the author’s use of literary and/or stylistic devices.
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
17
CAHSEE Scoring Guide
(Response to Literature/Expository Text)
The response —
demonstrates a limited grasp of the text.
provides few, if any, textual details and examples to support the thesis and main
ideas.
demonstrates limited, or no understanding of the ambiguities, nuances, and
complexities of the text.
provides few, if any, types of sentences and uses basic, predictable language.
may contain several errors in the conventions* of the English language. (Errors may
interfere with the reader’s understanding of the essay.)
Response to informational passages:
may address the reader’s potential misunderstandings, biases, and expectations, but
in a limited manner.
Response to literary passages:
may demonstrate an awareness of the author’s use of literary and/or stylistic
devices.
The response —
demonstrates minimal grasp of the text.
may provide no textual details and examples to support the thesis and main ideas.
may demonstrate no understanding of the ambiguities, nuances, and complexities of
the text.
may provide no sentence variety and uses limited vocabulary.
may contain serious errors in the conventions* of the English language. (Errors
interfere with the reader’s understanding of the essay.)
Response to informational passages:
does not address the reader’s potential misunderstandings, biases, and expectations.
Response to literary passages:
does not demonstrate awareness of the author’s use of literary and/or stylistic
devices. Non-scorable: The code “NS” will appear on the student answer document
for responses that are written in a language other than English, off-topic, illegible,
unintelligible, or otherwise non-responsive to the writing task.
*Conventions of the English language refer to grammar, punctuation, spelling, capitalization, and usage. This guide
describes the attributes of student writing at each score point. Each paper receives the score that best fits the overall
evidence provided by the student in response to the prompt. However, papers that do not meet the standard for
conventions at a 4 or a 3 score point receive a score that is at most one point lower.
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
18
Writing Prompts: English 1-4
ENGLISH 1
“The Possibility of Evil” makes us very aware of the difference between surface
appearance and inner reality. Shirley Jackson, the author, use characterization—she
describes Mrs. Strangeworth’s physical appearance, speech, thoughts, and actions to
reveal how Mrs. Strangeworth appears to be one kind of person in public, but quite
another when no one is watching.
Write an essay in which you discuss how Shirley Jackson uses characterization to
portray these two dimensions of Mrs. Strangeworth.
ENGLISH 2
In the conflict between Rainsford and General Zaroff, Rainsford not only survives but
emerges as the winner. What personal qualities or characteristics allow Rainsford to
survive and ultimately overcome Zaroff? Consider qualities like intelligence,
experience, luck, physical condition, the ability to think under pressure, and any
others you can think of.
Express your opinion in a five-paragraph essay.
ENGLISH 3
After reading and viewing To Kill A Mockingbird, you recorded examples of possible
themes--messages the author or director wishes to share with the audience. Choose
one of these themes or think of another.
Write an interpretive essay in which you state this theme and explain how you
believe this film communicates this message.
ENGLISH 4
Anton Checkhov's "The Bear" is a farce, a humorous play with characters that display
exaggerated and ridiculous behavior and dialogue, often overreacting to the situations
in the play.
Write a four-paragraph essay explaining how Mrs. Popov and Smirnov's behavior and
speech are typical of characters in a farce.
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
19
ENGLISH 1
Class Grade: 95—Superior
CAHSEE: 3.2
In “The Possibility of Evil”, the author Shirley Jackson describes the two personalities of
Mrs. Strangeworth through characterization. At first she appears to be a normal well
respected older woman, known for her beautiful manners and good housekeeping. As the
story goes on the author reveals that she has a dark side that no one would expect.
From the beginning of the story the author leads us to believe that Mrs. Strangeworth is
kind, gentle, and loved. She is described as a person who gets attention when she walks
into a room or down the street. For example, when she takes a walk her trips usually takes
longer than normal because she had to stop about “every minute or so to say good morning
to someone.” Everybody knows her for her beautiful roses, and everybody has a form of
respect towards her. She is seen as near perfect with the way she dresses and maintains
her house. Some people think that her house is so near perfect that a tourist once mistook
it for the local museum and went, “all through the place without finding out about his
mistake.” People respect her because she appears to be nice, but everything changes as
soon as the sun sets.
When darkness falls, Mrs. Strangeworth turns into a completely other person. Mrs
Strangeworth becomes devious and sneaky. She writes malignant letters to people to tell
them her opinions about some things she notices in her walks around town. The problem is
that the purpose of these letters is to hurt others, and she doesn’t write a return address.
She has a strategy of not mailing the letters until sunset so no one will see her mail the
notorious letters. This changes when a teenager sees her drop one of her letters. He picks
it up and delivers it to the address printed on the envelope. When he delivers it, he tells
the person who he saw mailing the letter. When Mrs. Strangeworth wakes up the next
morning she discovers a letter and it read, “LOOK AT WHAT USED TO BE YOUR
ROSES.” After reading the letter, she broke out in a fountain of tears. They had destroyed
the roses that she adored and was famous for.
The consequence of being a snoop turned out to be some precious roses. Although at the
beginning of the story Mrs. Strangeworth appears to be nice, later it is revealed that she is
the opposite. The author Shirley Jackson does a good job of revealing her true identity
through characterization. And when people found out the truth, she lost what she truly
loved.
Commentary
Addresses the writing task clearly and effectively
Demonstrates a solid grasp of the text and some sense of story’s nuances
Shows effective use of transitions between paragraphs
Uses specific details to support thesis
Provides a variety of sentence types and a descriptive vocabulary
Has corrected errors in the conventions of the English language
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
20
ENGLISH 1
Course Grade: 90—Strong
CAHSEE: 3.0
The author of “The Possibility of Evil” skillfully uses characterization to show the two
sides of Mrs. Strangeworth’s personality. One side of the personality is shown in public.
On her daily walks around the village she was always polite and caring; she showed an
interest in everybody and often gave friendly advice. However, the other side of her
personality was shown in the privacy of her beautiful house, where she would write
degrading letters to her neighbors.
In public, Mrs. Strangeworth acts like a kind person, caring for others’ health and
problems. One way she showed kindness, for instance, would be to stop every minute or so
to say good morning or to ask after someone’s health. For example, she told Martha, “You
don’t look well.” Also, she gave advice to Helen Crane by saying “that little girl is going to
grow up expecting luxury all her life”; in other words, spoiled. Then she told Helen “Don’t’
you think she ought to move around more? Try to sit up for instance?” These examples
show how good she is in public.
The other side of Mrs. Strangeworth’s personality is evil. In the privacy of her Home she
would write evil and degrading letters to her neighbors; for instance, she wrote a letter
saying, “Didn’t’ you ever see an Idiot child before? Some people just shouldn’t have
children should they?” Another letter she wrote was to Mrs. Harper and it said, “Have you
found out yet what they were all laughing about after you left the Bridge club on
Thursday? Or is the wife really the last to know?”
The letters that she wrote showed her evil personality. The next morning after she sent
the letters she got up and dressed herself. She went down stairs and she found the mail
there was a letter in a green envelope and unfolded the sheet of green paper inside. She
began to cry silently for wickedness of the world when she read the words: Look out at
what used to be your roses. Every evil person has some type of punishment.
Commentary
Responds explicitly and implicitly to the writing task
Evidences a good grasp of the story and general sense of story’s nuances
Supports a clear thesis with sufficient summarizing, quotes and examples
Provides some sentence variety
Lacks, at times, purposeful control of quotes
Corrects most errors in the conventions of the English language
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
21
ENGLISH 1
Course Grade: 80—Competent
CASHEE: 2.5
In the story “The Possibility of Evil” Mrs. Strangworth is well known. All the people in
town have respect for her. In private, she writes evil letters to all those same friendly
people in town.
The public personality of Mrs. Strangeworth is really friendly. Everyone in the town says
Hi to her. When she goes into a grocery store, dozens of people turn just to wave at her or
call out good morning.
Mrs. Strangeworth’s private personality is evil. She’s getting involved in personal affairs
of others by telling them what she doesn’t like. She does this by writing them letters with
funny colored paper. Finally, she sends them unsigned letters. In them, she expresses
her negative thoughts.
In public, she’s really exceptional toward others. In private, it is just the opposite. The
price that she pays for her meanness is that they destroy her charming roses. That is
something that could happen when you are like this.
Commentary
Responds to the writing task clearly, but minimally
Supports a clear thesis with summary of the plot and examples, but thinly
Employs vague or general support, as in paragraph 3
Demonstrates some sentence variety and basic command of transitions
Provides simple but effective conclusion, though final sentence is vague
Has corrected serious errors of the conventions of the English language in the final
draft
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
22
ENGLISH 2
Course Grade: 95—Superior
CAHSEE: 3.2
In the story “The Most Dangerous Game”, General Zaroff, a madman and a racist, enjoyed
hunting sailors that landed on his island, called “Ship Trap Island”. Rainsford, a writer
and professional hunter, was disgusted by Zaroff’s game and refused to take part, but he
had no choice when he became Zaroff’s prey. Thanks to his hunting experience, his
intelligence, and his ability to think under pressure, he was able to survive and win the
most dangerous game of all.
The first thing that helped Rainsford survive was his hunting experience. He set traps
like the Burmese Tiger Trap. After digging a pit up to his shoulders, he then cuts stakes
from some hard saplings and sharpened the points. Next, he planted them in the bottom
of the pit with the point sticking up and covered it with a rough carpet or branches and
weeds. Another deadly trap he used was native trick he learned in Uganda. He fastened
his hunting knife to a springy young sapling; with the blade pointed toward his enemy, he
tied back the sapling with a bit of wild grapevine. His hunting experience allows
Rainsford to fight back.
Another thing that helped Rainsford survive was his intelligence. He made sure to leave a
complicated trail; for example, he executed series of intricate loops by doubling back on his
trail again and again. Rainsford also climbed really high trees where General Zaroff could
not see him. Constantly, Rainsford used his intelligence to win the game; he found a
quicker way than walking through the jungle to get to General Zaroff’s and defeat him; he
swam.
The final factor that helped Rainsford survive was his ability to think under pressure. For
instance, when the hounds were getting closer to Rainsford, instead of freezing, he leaped
far out into the sea. In addition, Rainsford’s ability to think under pressure helped him
stay quiet when he was in the tree and General Zaroff was under him. Also, this ability
helped him to stay cool when he set up all the traps he used.
As you can see, Rainsford’s hunting experience, intelligence, and ability to think under
pressure really helped him survive, overcome Zaroff, and win the game. Now that he
knows what it’s like to be hunted, I don’t think he will hunt again.
Commentary
Responds clearly and fairly comprehensively to the writing task
Provides clear evidence of an organizational plan
Demonstrates a thoughtful grasp of the text and its nuances
Strives to support thesis in each body paragraph with multiple story examples
Demonstrates some sentence variety and complexity
Has corrected errors of conventions of the English language in the final draft
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
23
ENGLISH 2
Course Grade: 91—Strong
CAHSEE: 3.0
“The Most Dangerous Game” is about a man named Rainsford who accidentally ends up
on an island and must struggle to survive in a game. The game was created by the evil
man who owns the island, General Zaroff. Zaroff hunts people, so Rainsford becomes the
prey of Zaroff. Rainsford’s qualities, including his physical condition, the ability to think
under pressure, and his intelligence, help him win this dangerous game.
One of the qualities that helps Rainsford to survive was his physical condition. For
example, he had to swim to shore when he fell off the yacht in order to survive. He also
had to run a lot from Zaroff so that he wouldn’t be killed and could win the game.
Rainsford also had the ability to think under pressure. For example he never stopped
thinking of ways he could win the game, even though his life was close to being lost. As
the story says, “now he had got a grip on himself, had stopped, and was taking stock of
himself and the situation.” He was always thinking about things he could do to win.
Rainsford’s intelligence also helps him survive. Because in the beginning, when he fell off
the yacht and the yacht left him, he swam to where he heard the gun shots. He thinks
there has got to be land near. Also, if it wasn’t for his intelligence he wouldn’t have
slowed down Zaroff with the clever traps he built during the “game”.
Rainsford’s good physical condition, his ability to think under pressure, and his
intelligence allowed him to survive and finally kill Zaroff to stop his games. I believe this
experience will change the way he thinks in the future because now he knows how it feels
when you’re the one being hunted.
Commentary
Demonstrates a good grasp of the text
Supports thesis with brief summarizing and an adequate number of examples from
the text
Provides evidence of a clear pattern of organization and effective transitions between
ideas in paragraphs, though there is some repetitiveness in diction
Demonstrates some interesting, vivid vocabulary
Has corrected most significant errors of conventions of the English language in final
draft
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
24
ENGLISH 2
Course Grade: 84—Competent
CAHSEE: 2.7
“The Most Dangerous Game” is the title of the story. It’s a story about playing to win to
survive. There were three things that helped Rainsford to survive: bravery, intelligence,
and strength.
The first quality that helps Rainsford to survive is bravery. Rainsford, no matter what
happens, would never be scared. When Rainsford fell in the water late at night in the
dark he just kept on swimming until he got to some rocks. Then he made his way around
the jungle by himself in the darkness.
The second quality that helps Rainsford to survive is intelligence. Rainsford is so smart
that he made a Burmese tiger trap out of things in the jungle. He even used a native trick
he learned in Uganda.
The third quality that helped Rainsford to survive is strength. Because when Rainsford
was lost wandering around in the jungle looking for help, he never gave up. Rainsford
made a trap to survive. He had to kill Ivan too, and he did.
Strength, intelligence, and bravery are the three reasons why Rainsford survives. I think
it will change him in the future, because he knows how to get out of situations so next
time he will know what to do.
Commentary
Responds to the writing task and demonstrates a grasp of the text
Supports thesis adequately with thinly developed examples and insufficient
summarizing of the plot
Demonstrates a simple but clear organizational plan
Uses basic but effective sentence structure and vocabulary
Shows a developing command of transitions with some repetitiveness
Has corrected most significant errors of the conventions of the English language
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
25
ENGLISH 3
Course Grade: 96
CAHSEE 3.4
Can prejudice lead to injustice?
“To Kill a Mockingbird” clearly shows that it did. In the screenplay by Horton Foote, Tom
Robinson, a black man in the 1930’s, was being accused of raping and beating a white
woman. When he appeared on trial, his lawyer, Atticus Finch proved Tom Robinson’s
innocence and yet he was still found guilty because he was a black man being accused by a
white man and woman. In “To Kill A Mockingbird”, being black is what found Tom
Robinson guilty. If prejudice wasn’t an issue back then Tom Robinson would have been a
free man.
Atticus, Tom’s lawyer, fought hard for Tom. In the following exchange, Atticus made
several key points in order to get justice for Tom:
Tom: “…She had a back eye startin’ and…”
Atticus: “Which eye?”
Atticus: “It was her right eye, Mr. Finch.”
Through his line of questioning, Atticus was making it clear that the person that beat the
victim had to be left handed and that would eliminate Tom as a suspect.
Tom: “I can’t use my left hand at all. I got it caught in a cotton gin when I was twelve
years old. All my muscles were torn loose.”
Mayella, the victim, lied in court and said she was certain that Tom Robinson was the man
who beat and raped her, but there was another suspect in the courtroom that everyone but
Atticus was ignoring. That man was Mayella’s own father, Mr. Ewell. Mr. Ewell had
written his name on a piece of paper and Atticus noticed he was left handed. When Tom
Robinson told his side of the story he said that the reason he was with Mayela was
because she had asked him for help. While Tom was doing what he was asked inside the
house, he was thrown to the floor and then was kissed by Mayella. Mayella’s father saw
what happened and chased off Tom. Atticus tried to get everyone to come to the
conclusion that Mr. Ewell was the one responsible for his daughter’s beating.
*(continued)
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
26
*(continued from previous page)
“Miss Mayela, is your father good to you? I mean, is he easy to get along with?” This was
Atticus’s first question to Mayella in order for the jury to See Mr. Ewell as a possible
suspect. Atticus made it clear that for kissing Tom Robinson, a black man, Mayella’s
punishment was a beating given by her father. And to explain the beating it was all
blamed on Tom Robinson. Everything that Atticus said made sense, but the jury paid no
attention to it. A black man was being accused and a black man would be found guilty.
Prejudice can indeed lead to injustice and Tom Robinson was a sad example of that.
Prejudice was very strong back then and it still exists today. Though these days it’s far
less than what it was before. It’s a good thing that things have changed for the better, but
I believe that prejudice will never go away.
Commentary
Responds to the writing tasking completely and confidently
Demonstrates a thoughtful understanding of the text
Show a grasp of nuances of the text and its social/historical context
Uses quotes from the text purposefully to support a thesis
Employs a clear organizational plan to support the essay’s argument
Makes use of a variety of sentence structures
Has corrected errors in the conventions of the English language
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
27
ENGLISH 3
Course Grade: 90—Strong
CAHSEE: 3.2
Racism and injustice are the themes of “To Kill A Mockingbird”. Racism was a critical
problem in American history that affected many American lives. The book reveals to you,
through a realistic story, that judging people because of their race or their appearance is
wrong.
Tom was unjustly accused of beating up and raping Miss Mayela. Even though they
didn’t have any evidence, the majority of the town was against Tom because he was black.
Atticus realized that Tom was innocent. Everyone would turn against Atticus for
defending Tom; but he was willing to make some sacrifices and show their children what
courage and doing the right thing meant.
Racism wasn’t the only type of injustice that occurs in the story. Everybody always
seemed to accuse Boo of being a violent, psycho individual. They always told bizaare
stories about Boo trying to kill his father with a pair of scissors. Still, curiosity always
drove Scout and Jim to Boo. After Boo saved Jim from Ewell, everyone realizes that Boo
was a kind, innocent, and a gentle person; quite the opposite from somebody accused of
trying to stab their own father.
The book did send a strong message of honor and courage over prejudice and racism.
People shouldn’t judge anybody without really knowing them. The two characters who
were accused constantly were innocent, and probably the nicest people in the town. When
I read and watched “To Kill a Mockingbird” I agreed with the writer and director and
realized that people should be judged only by their character.
Commentary
Argues effectively for a simple, but clearly stated theme
Demonstrates a broad understanding of parallel story lines in text and a grasp of the
social/historical context
Supports thesis effectively by evaluating distinct dimensions of the plot, though there
is a lack of direct quotations from the text
Ties dual plot elements and theme together effectively in concluding paragraph
Employs a variety of sentence structure and uses a vivid vocabulary
Has corrected most errors in the conventions of the English language
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
28
ENGLISH 3
Course Grade: 86—Competent
CAHSEE: 3.0
“To Kill a Mockingbird” by Horton Foote is a screenplay in which appearances do not
always reflect reality. On the one hand there’s Tom Robinson being accused of something
he didn’t by the adults, just for being black. Then the kids say bad things about Boo, a
strange, lonely man. When in reality these two men are actually nice, helpful and kind
but because of their appearances they get misjudged.
Tom Robinson gets accused by a white woman that he “raped” her. The whole village
wants to make him pay for something he didn’t do. But the village is so blinded by the
color that they can’t see the reality which is right on their faces. In that village colors is
still a big difference but not to a man named Atticus. He only sees reality, and he also
believes in the truth and nothing more.
Then the kids Scout, Jem and Dill believe that a man across their house is psycho when
he’s just another shy nice man. But everyone believes these stories, like for example they
would start rumors and say that Boo was a 6ft man that ate squirrels and cats. So that’s
why even the grown ups would tell the children to stay away from him and that house.
Boo is the name of the “psycho” but in reality he’s just a man who is shy and embarrassed
to talk to people. But since he appears a little strange and doesn’t go out, the people
believe in rumors and stories instead of reality.
I think that in this village in “To Kill a Mockingbird” appearance is the reality. Like for
example, a black man got hurt, blamed on, and even killed because of his appearance.
Then another man who was shy strange lonely and left out of the village got into a
relationship with kids who were scared of him and saved their lives. But as you can see
their appearances were first in this story instead of the reality. I think that in a way
everybody looks at appearances first. But they shouldn’t because that hurts feelings. So
we should look at the reality of things and not the appearances.
Commentary
Demonstrates a grasp of the text
Argues effectively for a simple, clearly stated theme
Supports thesis by demonstrating thematic parallels in the storyline, though
examples and references are sometimes vague
Sums up theme effectively in the conclusion, making connection to plot elements and
everyday experience
Shows a need to develop sense of audience and tone
Has corrected most errors in the conventions of the English language
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
29
ENGLISH 4
Course Grade: 96—Superior
CAHSEE: 3.7
A face is a type of drama in which the main characters display exaggerated and ridiculous
behavior accompanied by dialogue. The characters often overreact to a situation or
problem in the story. In the play “The Bear”, Mrs. Popov, an inconsolable widow, is visited
by Smirnov, a boorish character that refuses to leave the house until he’s paid a sum of
money he claims he is owed by her husband. Most people that are betrayed in a
relationship, let alone are widowed, usually move on, however not Mrs. Popov. When most
people are told that something they seek isn’t available they usually decide to leave, but
not Smirnov. That’s why Mrs. Popov and Mrs. Smirnov’s behavior is clearly what one
would expect of characters in a farce.
In “The Bear” the widow Mrs. Popov constantly overreacts to different situations in the
play. For example, due to her husband’s death, Mrs. Popov decides to isolate herself from
the world and remain faithful for life, despite her husband’s infidelity. She proclaims, “I
realize that was often mean…unfaithful even, but I’ll be true to the grave and show him
how much I can love. In addition, when Smirnov feels insulted by Mrs. Popov, he demands
that she duel him; she accepts despite her not know now to fire a pistol. “But before we
start would you mind showing me how to fire them? I’ve never had a pistol in my hands
before.”
However, Mrs. Popov isn’t the only one overreacting in this play. Smirnov, the man that
demands money from Mrs. Popov, exaggerates even more. One day Smirov arrives a Mrs.
Popov’s house demanding money owed to him by her late husband. Mrs. Popov explains
that she can’t pay him at the moment, but he refuses to leave until he’s paid: “I’m not
budging; I’ll stick around here ‘till I do get my money.” In addition, after Mrs. Popov
accepts Smirnov’s proposal to duel, Smirnov suddenly realizes that she’s the woman of his
dreams. She wasn’t like the other women he had I his life. She wasn’t scared, she was
willing to duel him and she didn’t show any kind of fear. When Mrs. Popov asks him why
he refuses to fight he says, “Because er, because you, er, I like you.”
Without a doubt, Mrs Popov and Smirnov act like characters in a farce would, due to Mrs.
Popov’s over reactive mourning and Smirnov’s reluctance to accept reality. Only such a
genre’s characters would fall in love after agreeing to duel each other moments before.
This is why the play “The Bear” is a classic farce.
Commentary
Provides a rhetorically sophisticated and highly effective introduction to the writing
task
Uses a clear organizational strategy and supports thesis with cogent quotes and
examples
Employs a variety of sentences and a fluent use of transitions
Demonstrates an apt, confident tone and sense of audience
Has corrected errors in the conventions of the English language
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
30
ENGLISH 4
Course Grade: 93—Strong
CAHSEE: 3.5
A farce is a story that prompts laughter through ridiculous situations and exaggerated behaviors.
In the farce “The Bear” by Anton Chekov, there are two main ridiculous characters. Mrs. Popov
is a beautiful young woman who is shunning society. The other is Smirnov, a man who can’t
control his anger or his mouth. Mrs. Popov’s deceased husband owes money to Smirnov. The
conflict between these two characters is that Mrs. Popov can not pay Smirnov his money. Both
characters are typical of a farce, because they both overreact and behave ridiculouosly.
Mrs. Popov makes a huge deal of everything. Her reactions are always weeping, being
surprised or being offended. Some of Mrs. Popov’s over reactions are, for example, how she
says she is never going to leave her house, “I’m never going out again. My life is finished.”
She also overreacts when visitors come to see her. “Tell them I’m not home!” she says. She
screams and laughs when Smirnov tells her men are more faithful than women. In a bitter laugh
she says, “Men true and faithful, in love. That’s rich” “We’ll shoot it out!” She keeps saying
this once Smirnov tells her he doesn’t want to duel because he loves her.
Smirnov overreacts in every single situation in the story. He acts like a typical character in a
farce would. Some of his tantrums were when he got mad, because he can’t get any money. He
says, “If you won’t pay up now, I’ll hve to put my head in an oven tomorrow.” He stubbornly
says he is going to stay in Mrs. Popov’s house until she pays him; he says to her servant, “I’m
staying put chum and I don’t budge one bit until you unbelt.” He also rants about how horrible
he thinks women are, “They’re futile; they’re trivial; they’re cruel; they’re outrageously
illogical.”
Mrs. Popov and Smirnov both acted like typical characters in a farce. Mrs. Popov is a crazy,
beautiful young woman who can’t forget her dead husband. And Smirnov is a stubborn man
that gets mad at everything if it doesn’t go his way. When I finished the story I was in disbelief.
They first hated each other and by the end of the story they end up loving each other; it was
ridiculous.
Commentary
Demonstrates a grasp of the story and its nuances
Use a clear organizational strategy to fully address the writing task
Supports interpretation of major characters with appropriate examples and quotes
Employs a variety of sentences and interesting, appropriate vocabulary
Has corrected most errors of the conventions of the English language
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
31
ENGLISH 4
Course Grade: 86—Competent
CAHSEE: 3.0
A farce is a humorous play that typically involves ridiculous situations and physical
comedy. In the play The Bear, Mrs. Popov’s husband has died and she is wasting her life
away grieving his death. During that time, Smirnov comes to claim money that Mrs.
Popov’s husband owed him. This is a classic play that involves a really twisted farce
because by the end of the story, the two characters that hated each other are now in love.
In the play there are many parts in which Mrs. Popov over-reacts to things. She is young
and good looking, but she doesn’t want to move on with her life after the death of her
husband. According to her, “She will be true to the grave and show him how much she
can love.” She also over-reacts to Smirnov because by the end of the story she is in love
with him. She was to duel him, but in the end she didn’t duel him. Mrs. Popov kept
changing her mind and told him to stay then to leave, but couldn’t make up her mind.
Like Mrs. Popov there are also parts of the play in which Smirnov also overeacts. For one,
he refuses to leave the house without his money, despite the tact that Mrs. Popov has not
money to pay him with. He wouldn’t budge until he got his money. But in the end of the
story, he is so in love with Mrs. Popov that he forgets about the money she owed him.
Mrs. Popov and Smirnov are like characters in a farce because in the beginning of the
story, they hated each other to death. But at the end of the story, they were both in love.
It’s really ridiculous because they were both supposed to duel to solve a feud, but they
ended the play with a kiss.
Commentary
Demonstrates a grasp of the story
Uses a simple, clear organizational strategy to address the writing task
Supports interpretation of main characters with examples and quotes, but thinly
Employs basic, clear sentences with some repetitiveness
Has corrected most errors in the conventions of the English language
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
32
Section 4
Sample
Writing
Topics
Circumstances certainly vary from school to school, but some
general practices seem to insure the most representative
writing samples:
GUIDELINES FOR ADMINISTRATION
Administer
1)
2)
3)
4)
TABE-D
Reading Comprehension
Writing Sample
Math Placement Test
Stress the significance of the writing sample
for placement to encourage the student’s best
effort.
Allow the student ample time to think and
write. Students usually require 30-45 minutes
to complete a writing sample.
Encourage the student to write at least onehalf page.
Teachers and counselors are encouraged to devise and share
writing topics for eliciting optimal student writing samples. It
is, of course, preferable to avoid topics which may be perceived
as too psychologically probing or personal.
Three topics, tried and true—and addressed by the student
writing samples in Section 2—are provided on reproducible
masters for students to use at intake testing.
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
33
WRITING SAMPLE
Name: _______________________
Date: ________________________
Date of Birth:_________________
WRITING TOPIC #1
Describe your favorite room. What does it look like? How do you feel when you
are in that room? Use as many specific details as you can. Write a complete
paragraph in at least one-half of a page.
TABE Reading Score:_________________
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
Placement:___________________
July 2007
34
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
35
WRITING SAMPLE
Name:______________________
Date:_______________________
Date of Birth:______________
WRITING TOPIC #2
In a paragraph of at least one-half page, write about a time when you were very
surprised by, or disappointed in, a person or situation. Explain how this
surprise or disappointment came about and how it affected you.
TABE Reading Score: ________________
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
Placement: __________________
July 2007
36
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
37
WRITING SAMPLE
Name: _____________________
Date: ______________________
Date of Birth: _____________
WRITING TOPIC #3
In a paragraph of at least one-half page, write about a person who has had an
important influence upon you. Begin by describing the person physically, and
then explain how and why this person influenced you so greatly.
TABE Reading Score: ________________
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
Placement: __________________
July 2007
38
LAUSD/DACE
Adult Secondary Education
July 2007
39