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WORKSHOP 1:
WHAT IS
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DOMESTIC ABUSE?
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Teenage Relationship Abuse
Awareness Workshop
Aims:

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
Resources:
Participants to enjoy & engage in
discussions about Domestic Abuse.
For participants to have an
understanding of the types of abuse.
For participants to understand what
domestic abuse is and how victims are
affected; there is a separate workshop for
why people perpetrate abuse.
For participants to consider how abuse
might affect them & the warning signs.
For participants to consider if they had an
issue who would they discuss it with, & be
given a list of options for support.
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Workshop guide & appendices.
Flip chart/white board.
Pens of varying colour for participants
& facilitators.
Video clip
Technology/equipment to display clip.
Tissues, in case participants become
upset.
Time out space/room available.
x2 Facilitators, although only one
needs to be trained & lead it is best to
have a support in case any one uses
the time out option.
Time: This workshop can run for 2-3 hours; or you can expand it to fill a day/run it over
two or you can take each of the seven main exercises and do a session on each
lasting no more than an hour. If you run sessional ensure you use the Introduction
and closing exercise at each.
INTRODUCTION
Begin by introducing the facilitators, if required, & ask young people their names.
At this point, again if required, you can set some group rules such as; phones off,
respect each others opinion, if said in the room it stays in the room, one person
speaks at a time, and so on. In school settings or groups who meet regularly this may
not be required. Also do house rules; fire, toilet, and so on.
Explain that the session is talking about Domestic Abuse, and ask participants if they
have any understanding already. Be clear that this is a serious subject, no one is
expected to share anything personal, & that if they need to take time out from the
session they can.
It‟s up to facilitators how time out works, where they can go but be clear that they‟ll
be given 5 minutes maximum before someone comes to see if they‟re okay.
However, be clear that you want the session to be interesting & enjoyable. If this is
the first time the groups come together an icebreaker would be appropriate.
Please complete appendix one question and return copies to [email protected]
Page
1
– this is not a requirement; but it aids us in mapping to use of material and educational impact.
These resources have been gathered& adapted from The Recovery Toolkit ©Sue Penna Associates, & Acorns,
Changing Places Programmes ©Protagoras Forensic Services & Interventions Ltd.
Teenage Relationship Abuse
Awareness Workshop
Exercise One: The Dictator Island (There are the parts to the exercise, use different colours for
each sections answers. See appendix 2 for more detailed example)
Draw a triangle on a flip chart or white board & write a „D‟ at the top.
Then ask young people to consider an Island with a dictator; you may
need to explain what a Dictator is with examples from history. First
talk about whose on the Island.
Then ask the young people to suggest what the Dictator
controls.
For Example:
Who can come and go from the Island.
Where people can live.
What people have; jobs, food, water, money.
Who can marry
Curfews
Let the discussion run until most things have been covered.
Then ask how the Dictator gets his people to comply with their rules; this may
have been covered in the first part.
-
For Example:
Fear of the Army, or police. You can use Hitler‟s Gestapo as an example.
The Media, positive messages are shown about the Government/negative
images of other countries.
Borders so that no body can leave.
Their might be rewards, thinking of income & controlling benefits.
Laws & punishment.
Again let this conversation run until they have no more ideas.
The final part of this is to ask them how people could feel safe on the Island.
The four keys answers are:
Escape
Rebel
Comply – „follow the rules‟
Join the Dictator
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2
-
These resources have been gathered& adapted from The Recovery Toolkit ©Sue Penna Associates, &
Acorns, Changing Places Programmes ©Protagoras Forensic Services & Interventions Ltd.
Teenage Relationship Abuse
Awareness Workshop
Exercise Two: Outlining Domestic Abuse
We now begin to explain the five types of Domestic Abuse; it is best to ask the young
people first to discover their understanding.
Emotional Verbal Physical Sexual Financial
Ask the young people to provide a few examples of each just to clarify their
understanding.
Emotional: Using words, voice, action or lack of action meant to control, hurt or
demean another person.
Verbal: Using words to control, hurt, or demean another person.
Physical: Using physical actions to control, hurt, or demean another person.
Sexual: Saying things of a sexual nature to control, hurt, or demean another person.
Forcing another person to perform sexual acts against their will either physically or by
coercion.
Financial: Controlling the money in the relationship or forcing someone to take full
responsibility for the finances.
See appendix Three for examples of each type.
Exercise Three: Return to Dictator Island
Split the young people into groups (or if smaller group stay as a whole) and ask them
to look again at the Island that was created. Ask the young people to think of this as
a relationship, be clear some examples may not apply like borders but ask them to
think how that might be different in a relationship so locking up in a house, and split
the examples into the five areas.
Be clear some examples may fit in to one or more areas which is fine.
Feed back & correct if necessary.
-BREAKExercise Four: Video
You can use a different clip if you feel it would be more appropriate or more benefit
to the young people in your group.
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3
After the video have a discussion about what types of abuse were seen & check in
with how each person feels.
These resources have been gathered& adapted from The Recovery Toolkit ©Sue Penna Associates, &
Acorns, Changing Places Programmes ©Protagoras Forensic Services & Interventions Ltd.
Teenage Relationship Abuse
Awareness Workshop
Exercise Five: Recognising the signs of abuse
At this point you need to be clear with the young people that abuse is only when a
person is not comfortable. You can use financial abuse as an example, some
people are happy with their partners paying the bills. Ask the young people what is
the different between someone being told to pay all the bills & a couple agreeing
one person is going to be in charge of the money. The answer is in the question,
AGREEMENT.
You can go on to discuss other examples from different areas. Some may suggest
sexual and the difference between BDSM (Bondage & Discipline Dominance &
Submission Sadism and Masochism) & Rape. It is important not to shy away from this
area, even if you feel that it‟s being raised to ridicule/entertainment purposes but
ask them what the difference is; which again is agreement/consent.
Healthy Relationship = Mutual Respect
Abusive Relationship = Respect is not Mutual
Warning Signs
(See appendix four & five)
Ask the young people to draw an outline of a
person/use worksheet provided and have them
write or draw any warning signs they can think of
that someone is being abused. Then feedback, if
in smaller group you can just do this all together
on a flip chart.
Discuss feedback and cover any areas missed.
Exercise Six: Where you for help?
Word storm with the young people where they would feel comfortable asking for
help; some examples could be parents, teachers, police.
This can be done together, in small groups, or individually but feedback as a group.
Then provide them with different routes of support or people to talk to.
Page
4
(see Appendix Eight)
These resources have been gathered& adapted from The Recovery Toolkit ©Sue Penna Associates, &
Acorns, Changing Places Programmes ©Protagoras Forensic Services & Interventions Ltd.
Teenage Relationship Abuse
Awareness Workshop
Exercise Seven: Quiz (Appendices Six & Seven)
Using appendix three ask the young people to complete the Quiz. You can lead this
as you feel appropriate, whether asking the questions aloud, use the power point, or
they complete individually.
Feedback as a group & spend some time asking the young people how they feel
about the answers. Explain the reason you‟ve done the quiz is to highlight how
serious the issue is, and the number of people Domestic Abuse can affect.
Exercise Eight: Closing the session (Appendix Nine)
It is important when discussing these issues to close the session down.
There is also a post group questionnaire to complete; again please send copies to
[email protected]
Firstly check in with how each person is feeling about the session, you may ask one
positive thing they‟re taking away. Ensure that you offer time either after the session
or fix a date/time if anyone would like to come and discuss any issues or ask further
questions.
To refocus their thoughts you can play or game or ask each person a question;
“What are you doing this weekend?”
“What‟s your favourite food/Television programme/song/band?”
Page
5
-END-
These resources have been gathered& adapted from The Recovery Toolkit ©Sue Penna Associates, &
Acorns, Changing Places Programmes ©Protagoras Forensic Services & Interventions Ltd.
Teenage Relationship Abuse
Awareness Workshop
Appendix One: Pre-group Questionnaire
1). Have you attended any work shops about Domestic Abuse before today?
□ YES
□ NO
□ Not Sure
If yes, please tell us about it (where, what, when, & who lead it. As much as you can remember)
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
2). If you had a friend that had a problem with an abusive family member or partner
would you feel comfortable to offer help and advice?
□ YES
□ NO
□ Not Sure
If yes, please tell us about what you might do/say
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
3). If you had a problem with an abusive family member or partner would you know
what to do or who to turn to for support?
□ YES
□ NO
□ Not Sure
If yes, please tell us about what you might do or who you‟d ask for support
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
4). What services or support do you know of that you‟d be happy approaching to
find out more about Domestic Abuse?
(Examples: School Teachers/Parents/Police/websites. List as many as you can think of)
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6
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
These resources have been gathered& adapted from The Recovery Toolkit ©Sue Penna Associates, &
Acorns, Changing Places Programmes ©Protagoras Forensic Services & Interventions Ltd.
Teenage Relationship Abuse
Awareness Workshop
Appendix Two: Dictator Island Example (FOR FACILITATORS ONLY)
What the Dictator Controls
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How the Dictator keeps control
The Laws &
consequences
Jobs & money
Benefits
Health services
Support services
Education & schools
Borders, who can leave or
come in
Curfews
Marriage & relationships
Sexuality
Supplies
What comes in & out of
the country
Security, police & army
The Media
Freedom of speech
The list is endless
D
Beneath
the Dictator
are those who
advise or help.
Possibly friends or
those who also want
to become the
Dictator.
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Maintaining Fear
Corporal punishments
Brute force of
army/police
Making examples of
people
Showing negative
images of other
countries
Showing negative life
without the Dictator
Banning ways of life &
removing those who
rebel
Educating young
people & making the
Dictatorship
Above the public are those who help to control the
people. This might be the army/police/spies in the
community watching the other people.
Dictator Triangle as „the masses‟ or the public are at the bottom & more important
people are above. This is why the (D) Dictator is at the very top.
How to feel safe
-Comply by the rules. –Support the Dictator or
join their inner circle.
-Join the security force. – Escape. –Rebel.
With rebel highlight what risks there might be, and with
escape question how easy it would be to escape.
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7
Questions Key:
1). Ask whose on the Island with the dictator; you can even
go into specific jobs, roles like Mothers, and so on
2). Ask what the Dictator controls.
3). Ask how the Dictator maintains control.
4). Ask how people can FEEL (be sure to highlight you can’t
be sure) safe.
These resources have been gathered& adapted from The Recovery Toolkit ©Sue Penna Associates, &
Acorns, Changing Places Programmes ©Protagoras Forensic Services & Interventions Ltd.
Teenage Relationship Abuse
Awareness Workshop
Appendix Three: Examples of the Five Types of Abuse
Emotional
 Verbal threats
 Humiliation
 Insults
 Constant criticism
 Disproportionate anger
or yelling to intimidate
 Blaming the partner
 Withholding affection
 Obsessive jealousy
 Use of intimate
knowledge
 Threats/abuse to the
children/pets
 Lying in order to confuse
 Blaming the partner for
the abuse
 Telling tales and false
stories or playing mind
games
 Manipulating the
partner with words,
ideas or lies
 Denying behaviours
Verbal
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Insults
Shouting
Swearing
Threats
Snide remarks/put
downs
Providing false hope
Jokes
Financial

Taking the income

Fraud

Providing an
allowance

Wasting money

Forcing partner to pay
all bills

Not allowing equal
terms, joint tenancy or
mortgage
Physical
 Hitting, beating,
choking, pushing,
slapping, kicking, pulling
hair, biting, punching,
backhanding, arm
twisting, shoving, kicking
or burning
 Holding the partner
down or preventing the
partner from leaving
 Throwing and/or
threatening with objects
 Locking the partner out
of the home
 Refusal to get the
partner help or medical
attention
 Forced use of
substances (e.g. alcohol
and drugs
 Depriving the partner of
medication
 Denying or interfering
with the partner meeting
his basic physical needs
(e.g. eating and
sleeping)
 Smashing, damaging,
stealing or selling the
partner‟s possessions
 Threatening to use or the
use of a weapon against
the partner (e.g.
hammer, knife, gun,
etc.)
 Driving recklessly
 Punching walls or doors
 Stalking
Sexual
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Unwanted touching
Demeaning remarks
about the partner‟s
body or appearance
Minimization of the
partner‟s sexual needs
Berating the partner
about his sexual history
Demeaning remarks
about the partner being
too femme or butch
Forcing sex or sexual
actions on the partner
without consent
Using force or roughness
that is not consensual,
including forced sex
(rape)
Rape with an object
Refusing to comply with
the partner‟s request for
safe sex
Coercing the partner
into sex with others
Purposefully and
repeatedly crossing the
partner‟s sexual
boundaries
Violating an agreement
for monogamy by
having sex with others
Exposing the partner to
sexually transmitted
diseases
Treating the partner as a
sex object
Criticizing sexual
performance or
desirability
Withholding sex as a
punishment
Unwanted sadistic
sexual acts
Page
8
These are just a few examples of each type.
These resources have been gathered& adapted from The Recovery Toolkit ©Sue Penna Associates, &
Acorns, Changing Places Programmes ©Protagoras Forensic Services & Interventions Ltd.
Teenage Relationship Abuse
Awareness Workshop
Appendix Four: Warning Signs Worksheet
Page
9
Use the outline below to draw or write any warning signs you can think of that might
show a relationship is abusive.
These resources have been gathered& adapted from The Recovery Toolkit ©Sue Penna Associates, &
Acorns, Changing Places Programmes ©Protagoras Forensic Services & Interventions Ltd.
Teenage Relationship Abuse
Awareness Workshop
Appendix Five: Warning Signs Worksheet (EXAMPLE FOR FACILITATOR ONLY)
Unhappy, tearful, or sweating
Physical injuries, bruises,
cuts, burns. Pulling hair
Hearing constant insults
or criticisms
Dirty presentation,
ripped clothes
or humiliating outfits
Unwanted touching,
coercion into sexual acts
Page
This is just an example, there is more that could be put
10
Mobile taken away,
or other property.
Constant texting, phoning,
checking whereabouts
These resources have been gathered& adapted from The Recovery Toolkit ©Sue Penna Associates, &
Acorns, Changing Places Programmes ©Protagoras Forensic Services & Interventions Ltd.
Teenage Relationship Abuse
Awareness Workshop
Appendix Six: Domestic Abuse Quiz
1) How much of violent crime in Britain is domestic violence (i.e. violence between
partners or family)?
a. 2%
b. 10%
c. 20%
d. 50%
2) In domestic violence incidents, the victim is a woman:
a. In half of the incidents
b. In one out of every 5 cases
c. In almost 100% of cases
d. In four out of every 5 cases
3) How many women die per year in the UK as a result of domestic violence?
a. 20 or less
b. 50
c. 75
d. 100
4) Children are not seriously affected by domestic violence. It‟s something that goes
on between adults, and the kids are usually left out of it.
a. True
b. False
5) Physical Abuse (slapping, punching, kicking) is more harmful to victims than
emotional/ psychological abuse (bullying, intimidating, criticising, humiliating).
a. True
b. False
Social Work □
Student □
Waiter □
Teenager □
Bus Driver □
Teacher □
Man □
Nurse □
Doctor □
A Parent □
Child aged 5 □
These resources have been gathered& adapted from The Recovery Toolkit ©Sue Penna Associates, &
Acorns, Changing Places Programmes ©Protagoras Forensic Services & Interventions Ltd.
Page
Woman □
11
6). Which of these people could be a victim of abuse? (tick as many boxes as you
want)
Teenage Relationship Abuse
Awareness Workshop
Appendix Seven: Domestic Abuse Quiz (Answers)
1. Correct Answer c- 20% of violent crime reported in the UK is domestic violence.
This is over 500,000 incidents a year- and this is only the crimes that are actually
reported to the police. The actual number of incidents each year is estimated to be
closer to 1.5 million.
2. Correct Answer d- Four out of every five cases of domestic violence in the UK
involve a female victim, that‟s 80% (in the US 92% of reported cases involve a female
victim).
So in the UK, it is estimated that men are victims of domestic violence in 20% of
cases. Men can find it very hard to come forward due to the social stigma.
It should be noted that men are less likely to be repeat victims than women and
they are also less likely to be seriously injured or hospitalised. A Scottish Crime Survey
found that the majority of men who reported they were victims of domestic
violence, said they also hit their partner. So this is a problem for both genders, but
when the victim is a woman the consequences tend to be more severe.
3. Correct Answer d- In 2001, 102 women were murdered by former or current
partners.
This is an average of 2 women every week. 42% of all women killed in the UK die at
the hands of their partners, compared to only 4% of men who are murdered (1 per
month on average).
4. Correct Answer is b- False
The Dept. of Health in the UK estimates that 750,000 children a year witness domestic
violence in their homes.
Children who witness domestic violence at home can blame themselves, feel low
self-esteem, have nightmares, and may feel really angry towards their mates, family
members and other people.
Recent studies have found that children who just hear the violence are just as upset
by it as those who actually see it happen.
6. Correct Answer is All, anyone can be a victim of Domestic Abuse.
These resources have been gathered& adapted from The Recovery Toolkit ©Sue Penna Associates, &
Acorns, Changing Places Programmes ©Protagoras Forensic Services & Interventions Ltd.
Page
Physical violence is obviously damaging to a victim‟s well-being. However, studies
have found that relationships where there are high levels of psychological and
emotionally abusive behaviours create more negative outcomes for the victim (e.g.
depression, anxiety disorders, substance abuse, suicidal, sexual dysfunction).
12
5. Correct Answer is b- False
Teenage Relationship Abuse
Awareness Workshop
Appendix Eight: Routes of Help & Support
In an emergency always ring 999
Local Support
Domestic Abuse
0300 123 5101
National Organisations
Partnership*
Hub:
Child Line: 0800 1111
http://www.childline.org.uk/
*Cheshire Without Abuse: 01270
250391
www.cheshirewithoutabuse.org.uk
Samaritans: 08457 90 90 90
http://www.samaritans.org/
*Barnardo‟s: 01625 501651
http://www.barnardos.org.uk/what_w
e_do/our_work/domestic_violence.ht
m
*Arch: 01270 253957
www.archnorthstaffs.org.uk
National Centre for Domestic Violence
(NCDV): 0844 8044 999
http://www.ncdv.org.uk/
Women‟s Aid: 0808 2000 247
http://www.womensaid.org.uk/
Refuge: 0808 2000 247 (in partnership
with Women‟s Aid)
http://www.refuge.org.uk/
Outrite: 01270 653 156
http://www.outrite.org/
Men‟s Advice Line: 0808 801 0327
http://www.mensadviceline.org.uk/
Victim Support: 0300 303 1979
https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/
Rape & Sexual Support: 01625 439197
or 01925 221546
http://www.rapecentre.org.uk/
Respect: 0808 802 4040
http://respect.uk.net/
Useful Website
http://www.cheshireeast.gov.uk/social_care_and_health/domestic_abuse/children_
and_domestic_abuse.aspx
http://www.thehideout.org.uk/
http://www.reducingtherisk.org.uk/
http://www.nhs.uk/livewell/abuse/pages/domestic-violence-help.aspx
Page
http://www.dvmen.co.uk/
13
http://www.caada.org.uk/resources/resources.html
These resources have been gathered& adapted from The Recovery Toolkit ©Sue Penna Associates, &
Acorns, Changing Places Programmes ©Protagoras Forensic Services & Interventions Ltd.
Teenage Relationship Abuse
Awareness Workshop
Appendix Nine: Post Group Questionnaire
1). What did you think of the workshop?
Comments:
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
2). What did you think of the resources used?
What did you like/dislike:
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
3). Is there anything you would improve or like to see done differently?
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
4). After completing the workshop how do you feel about finding support for a
friend?
5). After completing the workshop how do you feel about finding support for
yourself?
Page
14
6). Select who you‟d speak to if you or a friend had a problem with Domestic
Abuse?
Parent/Guardian
Teacher
Youth Worker
Doctor
Police
Other (please state)
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
These resources have been gathered& adapted from The Recovery Toolkit ©Sue Penna Associates, &
Acorns, Changing Places Programmes ©Protagoras Forensic Services & Interventions Ltd.