3 All Rights Reserved © 2014 When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed… Not a bad start for a brand new country! You can hear greatness in these words! If you want to read the whole PUBLISHED AND DISTRIBUTED WEEKLY BY PASSTIMES OF ARIZONA, LLC - [email protected] - 480.983.9143 YOUR MIND ISN'T SO MUCH TWISTED AS BADLY SPRAINED PAMPERED COWS PRODUCE SPOILED MILK BY PERSEVERANCE THE SNAIL REACHED THE ARK WHAT DO YOU CALL A BIG PILE OF KITTENS? A MEOWNTAIN THERE ARE MORE THAN 2 MILLION MI. OF PAVED ROADS IN THE UNITED STATES HERSHEY BECAME FAMOUS ONCE HE ADDED MILK TO CHOCOLATE WHAT’S THE BEST PART ABOUT LIVING IN SWITZERLAND? NOT SURE, BUT THE FLAG IS A BIG PLUS NO ONE IS SO MISERABLE AS THE POOR PERSON WHO TRIES TO MAINTAIN THE APPEARANCE OF WEALTH I CAN’T DO THAT, BOSS! MY POWERS CAN ONLY BE USED FOR GOOD! PRAYER IS AS NATURAL AN EXPRESSION OF FAITH AS BREATHING IS OF LIFE TWO FISH ARE IN A TANK. ONE TURNS TO THE OTHER AND ASKS, “DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE THIS THING?” A POSITIVE ATTITUDE CAN MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD ¥ On July 9, 1777, New York elects Brig. Gen. George Clinton as the first governor of the independent state of New York. Clinton's career was marked by his hatred of British loyalists, called Tories. He kept the public's tax burden low by confiscating and selling land belonging to Tories to maintain state coffers. ¥ On July 7, 1865, Mary Surratt is executed for her role as a conspirator in Abraham Lincoln's assassination. Surratt's boardinghouse, a few blocks from Ford's Theatre, where Lincoln was murdered, served as the place where a group of Confederate supporters conspired to assassinate the president. ¥ On July 8, 1898, notorious con man "Soapy" Smith is murdered in Skagway, Alaska. Smith earned his nickname "Soapy" selling bars of soap wrapped in blue tissue paper. He promised crowds that a few lucky purchasers would find a $100 bill wrapped inside the $5 bars of soap. NONE ARE MORE UNJUST IN THEIR JUDGMENTS OF OTHERS THAN THOSE WHO HAVE A HIGH OPINION OF THEMSELVES ¥ On July 13, 1951, rivers across eastern Kansas crest well above flood stage, and 500,000 people are left homeless. Two million acres of farmlands were lost. In addition, the flooding caused fires and explosions in refinery oil tanks on the banks of the Kansas River. ¥ On July 11, 1960, novelty song "Alley Oop" tops the Billboard pop chart. Alley Oop was the name of a time-traveling caveman in a comic strip of the same name created in 1932 by cartoonist V.T. Hamlin. ¥ On July 12, 1984, Walter Mondale, Democratic presidential candidate, announces that he has chosen Geraldine Ferraro as his running mate, the first woman nominated by a major party for the vice presidency. ¥ On July 10, 1992, the Alaska court of appeals overturns the conviction of Joseph Hazelwood, the former captain of the oil tanker Exxon Valdez. Hazelwood, who was found guilty of negligence for his role in the massive oil spill in Prince William Sound in 1989, successfully argued that he was entitled to immunity from prosecution because he had reported the oil spill to authorities 20 minutes after the ship ran aground. (c) 2014 King Features Synd., Inc. WARNING - DON'T GET SCAMMED....... I LOVE LIFE - I JUST WISH I WERE BETTER AT IT Microsoft says the number of telephone scams involving fake Windows support technicians is on the rise. That means more criminals are duping legitimate Windows users out of their hard-earned money. Most of the scams involve cold callers claiming to work for Microsoft. In this scenario, the victim is told that their computer is infected with damaging malware, Oftentimes the calls originate overseas - usually from India, with the caller having a thick accent. In many cases, scammers point to harmless or low-level log errors in an effort to convince the victim that their computer is infected. Scammers then ask for money for a one-time "fix". These scams are becoming far more prevalent as time goes on. "There are no signs of this scam slowing down," noted a Microsoft customer service executive. "These scammers are targeting not only individuals but also businesses." Windows users can take several steps to protect themselves from these scams. First: if you receive an unsolicited phone call about your computer hang up immediately. If you stay on the line with a suspected scammer, listen carefully -- does the caller know or understand your system specifically? If not, hang up the phone. Secondly, you should avoid giving out personal information, such as phone numbers, addresses, or credit card data. If you are called, US residents can report the incident by calling the MSN's help desk at 1-800-426-9400, or the FTC at (202) 326-2222. For its part, the FTC says such reports "help us and our law enforcement partners detect patterns of fraud and abuse." Microsoft adds that scammers tend to get quite belligerent when they don't get their way. It's a type of behavior most legitimate Microsoft customer representatives avoid at all costs. Remember: Most reputable companies will not call you they will ask that you go to their website concerning any problems. Tips & Tricks from Bits n' Bytes Computers SANTIFY THE PEOPLE THROUGH TRUTH WHEN CONFRONTED BY TWO EVILS, CHOOSE NEITHER THE FUNCTION OF A PREACHER IS TO MAKE THE PEOPLE UNDERSTAND WHAT IS IN GOD’S WORD 1. TELEVISION: Which television sitcom was set at the Stratford Inn? 2. GEOGRAPHY: Where is the Bay of Fundy? 3. SCIENCE: How much faster does sound travel in water than in air? 4. MATH: What is the origin of the word "zero"? 5. ENTERTAINERS: Which famous comedian/actor had a brief boxing career? 6. ANATOMY: Where is the macula in the human body? 7. LANGUAGE: What is a "beau geste"? 8. MEASUREMENTS: What does a "gill" measure? 9. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: What is the color of the circle on Japan's national flag? 10. AD SLOGANS: Which company urged customers to "make a run for the border"? Answers 1. "Newhart" 2. Between the Canadian provinces of New Brunswick and Nova Scotia 3. About four times faster 4. Arabic, from the word "sifr," which means empty (c) 2014 King Features Synd., Inc. 5. Bob Hope 6. The eye 7. A magnanimous gesture 8. Liquids, about one-quarter of a pint 9. Red 10. Taco Bell THE BIBLE IS FOR THE PEOPLE WHAT DID JAY-Z CALL HIS GIRLFRIEND BEFORE THEY GOT MARRIED? FEYONCÉ WHAT DO YOU CALL A DINOSAUR WITH A EXTENSIVE VOCABULARY? A THESAURUS RESOLUTION ONE: I WILL LIVE FOR GOD. RESOLUTION TWO: IF NO ONE ELSE DOES, I STILL WILL THERE IS NOTHING NEW UNDER THE SUN, BUT THERE ARE LOTS OF OLD THINGS WE DON'T KNOW ¥ It was Martin Luther King Jr. who made the following sage observation: "In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." YOUR CHILD MAY BE AN HONOR STUDENT BUT YOU STILL DRIVE BAD ¥ If you head up to the top floor of the U.S. Supreme Court building, you'll find a basketball court. It's known, of course, as "the highest court in the land." ¥ Those who study such things say that goats have accents. ¥ In Germany in the 1500s, a court physician by the name of Oswaldt Gabelthouer wrote a medical book full of remedies that he guaranteed would be effective. For insanity, the patient must cut his or her hair close to the head, then tie two halves of a ram's liver to the head. A severe case of epilepsy, he claimed, could be cured if the patient wore the right eye of a wolf and the left eye of a she-wolf on a thong about the neck for three months; also, the patient had to forgo bathing during that time. There's no mention in the record at hand of how a patient would go about redeeming the guarantee. AT TIMES INACTIVITY IS PREFERABLE TO MINDLESS FUNCTIONING ¥ If you're suffering from xanthodontia, don't worry; a dentist can help whiten those yellow teeth. ¥ During the filming of the classic film "The Wizard of Oz," the dog that played Toto was paid $125 per week. In contrast, the actors who played the munchkins were paid $100 per week -- and their manager, Leo Singer, kept half of that. *** Thought for the Day: "The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it."-- George Bernard Shaw (c) 2014 King Features Synd., Inc. PUBLISHED AND DISTRIBUTED WEEKLY BY PASSTIMES OF ARIZONA, LLC - [email protected] - 480.983.9143
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