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‘AMERICA’S CHOICE’
ALEXIS WINEMAN
TELLS HER STORY
Five Simple, Inexpensive Therapies
the Scientists Say ‘Work’
TEMPLE GRANDIN’S Tips on
Solving Behavior Problems
‘America’s Choice’
Alexis
Wineman
Tells Her Story
Lyn Dunsavage Young
Photo courtesy Kim Butterworth
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Autism Asperger’s Digest | February–April 2016
A
lexis Wineman seems
informed that one of her first “duties”
Fox and Friends, NBC World News,
like most of us, except
was to represent Montana in the Miss
Glamour magazine, and Neurology Now.
she’s prettier. But that
America competition.
would be expected
because, after all, she
There, she was told she had to have a
She says she really only wants to
tell her story to help people understand
platform and, also, she’d have to come
about autism and to advocate for
did win the Miss Montana contest at
up with about a minute speech on “Why
people with autism so parents, siblings
age 17.
you should vote for me,” which would
and others know how important they
be broadcast to people all over America
are to their child’s survival.
Ironically, she doesn’t see herself as
“a girlie girl,” and she never was much of
one for beauty contests.
“You wouldn’t have recognized me
and, well, the world too, so they could
vote for their favorite competitor.
She made a crucial decision. She
three to four years before that,” she
decided to make her platform about
She has a great model in her mother,
Kim Butterworth, and a sibling story to
tell that is riveting.
Alexis has a twin, Amanda, who
muses. “I wore oversized clothing,
awareness and acceptance of autism—
really looks less like Alexis than her
often with hoodies or a hat so people
a spectrum disorder for which she had
older sister Danielle. Because Danielle
wouldn’t notice me.”
been diagnosed just seven years earlier.
Beauty and make-up just weren’t
her things. Actually, she confides, she
and her older brother Nick always
ducked out into the basement of their
home to watch something on TV other
than the Miss America competition
when it came on annually, because
her mother and sisters Danielle and
Amanda looked forward to seeing it
“because they really were into all that.
It was Danielle who was really into
make-up, which I never wore until I
graduated from middle school. She
made me up for that day, and I actually
“[Alexis] wants to tell
her story to help people
understand about autism
and to advocate for people
with autism so parents,
siblings and others know
how important they are to
their child’s survival.”
wore something other than my usual
Her speech title is insightful:
really crazy. They really didn’t know
“Normal Is Just a Dryer Setting. Living
So how did she become a beauty
and her older brother as her idol.
Because she had a twin, who spoke
and walked early, Alexis’ mother had
a reference point to note that Alexis
didn’t walk until she was two and talk
until age three. Even at a very early age,
Alexis felt “different” from her twin.
Alexis also had a speech
impediment, which made her feel
self-conscious outside the family,
which her parents immediately began
working with her to correct in her preWhen she entered school, other
aisle, no one recognized me! It was
contestant, given her penchant for
Danielle almost like a second mother
school period.
‘uniform.’ When I walked down the
who I was!”
is older—as is her brother Nick, the
first-born child—Alexis considered
children made fun of the way she spoke
and bullied her. Even though her twin
with Autism.” As they say in show
was in another classroom, she still
business, it has a great “backstory.”
could see her during the day, which
Her “coming out” as a young woman
helped her through the days of early
hiding in oversized clothes even she
with autism and telling the world of 10
elementary school because they were
considered “weird” sometimes?
million viewers something about who
so close. However—unlike her sister,
she was apparently was so moving
who Alexis says even at an early age
would be a way she could get a
Her mother suggested the contest
she won the hearts of the public, who
was “competitive, brilliant” and almost
scholarship for college, and she really
voted on line, netting her the title of
the ideal student—Alexis would have
wanted to follow her other siblings and
the “America’s Choice Award.” It was
major meltdowns, throwing tantrums
go to college.
also unique—given she was the first
in school—perhaps because of social
contestant ever with autism in the Miss
isolation and academic difficulties—
and dolled her up with make-up. She
America’s 92-year old history as well
something typical of a child on the
took a comedy routine from her 10th
as the fact that she was the youngest
spectrum if they can’t articulate what
grade speech class as her “talent” and,
contestant at age 18 that year.
So her sisters loaned her a swimsuit
to her huge surprise, she won. She really
Overnight, she was transformed
had no idea what a “Miss Montana” was
into a celebrity and spokesperson for
supposed to do after that, until she was
autism. She was featured on ABC News,
things are frustrating them or because
of sensory issues.
When her twin was promoted into
another grade in another building a
www.autismdigest.com | February–April 2016
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year ahead of Alexis, Alexis became
mom took me to our family doctor—
or hoodies—had about 45 minutes in
convinced by her peers that she was
who asked routinely if I was taking any
the morning while her siblings were
retarded. She found it easier to keep
medications, which he did routinely
dressing. She elevated her earlier
to herself, basically trying to be as
before prescribing anything for the flu.
stimming activities into walking in
inconspicuous as possible. “I felt stupid,
When she told him I was on Zoloft, the
larger circles around the inside of the
because she was a genius, and I was
doctor became furious, demanding I be
house, opening the doors to all the
not, and I didn’t have any friends, so
taken off of Zoloft immediately.
the bullying was really horrible, but
“That’s the first time we heard
Amanda experienced it too because she
the word ‘autism,’ which the doctor
was the youngest in her class.”
suggested could be the problem, so
By fifth grade, Alexis was in a
rooms, Her family now understood her
circle turning was a calming tool she
used to deal with stress.
“I could completely shut down and
my mother made an appointment with
not have to think,” she explains about
one doctor after another until, finally, a
her walking routine. “I still do it today
and her mother visited their pastor
pediatric neurologist—the only one in
to take control and deal with stress.”
about Alexis’ problems. He told them
Montana at that time—confirmed what
She pauses and laughs. “You know,
she probably needed a specialist to
our family doctor thought.
downward spiral in school, so she
evaluate what might be causing her
“I wouldn’t be talking to you today if it
extreme distress. Alexis’ mother took
weren’t for our family doctor and the flu
on the challenge of finding a doctor
and my mother.
who could tell them what was going on.
Because they lived in a small town
She’s one of my
in Montana (less than 3,000 population
tell parents they
shouldn’t blame
with a state that has a total population
themselves for
less than Seattle, WA), appointments
what no one
with any specialist anywhere in
tells them and
the state are difficult to obtain, but
what they can’t
her mother was not-to-be-denied,
easily find out
according to Alexis.
for themselves.
“She’s the strongest woman I know,”
“We went to (the first) specialist,
but someone who wants to buy it—if
heroes. I like to
at that time, which isn’t incongruent
remembers Alexis. “She never gave up.”
we’re selling that house now I loved so
much. It’s a beautiful, wonderful home,
Think of the
doctors I saw
(at least four or
one so boring he never looked at me
five), who didn’t
and looked at his clipbook the whole
come to that
time. If I would have been swapped out
same diagnosis.”
(photo © 2015 Chris Hatchett)
they look closely—will see a weird divot
(with some other person), he wouldn’t
Finally diagnosed at the age
in the floor, which I carved by walking
have known it. I watched the clock the
of 11 with PDD-NOS (Pervasive
the same path every day for almost an
whole time, so it took seven minutes
Developmental Disorder- Not
hour every morning and afternoon all
and 58 seconds for him to declare I was
Otherwise Specified), an autism
those years.”
‘depressed,’ so he prescribed Zoloft to a
spectrum disorder, Alexis’ first thought
nine-year-old going on ten.
was she was “a freak and weird.”
Her brother and sisters also began
gently pushing or pulling her into
“The pills made me black out. I
But, as life often does, it began a
almost killed myself two times. I’m
slow assent, with the help of her family,
social relationships with others in
school. Her brother Nick was a senior
not saying I’m against antidepressants
now with a greater understanding of
who ran cross country when Alexis
or they’re a bad thing, because they
what provoked her meltdowns. Among
was in the seventh grade, so he told
may work for someone other than a
other things, her older sister Danielle
her that “this is going to be the last
prepubescent teen. I’m saying I had no
helped her routinely with homework
year they’d have together” before he
idea what was going on and neither did
and organization after school—areas in
went off to college, suggesting she run
anyone else.
which she had been having problems.
cross country with him so they could
“The best thing that happened to me
at that time was when I got the flu. My
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Autism Asperger’s Digest | February–April 2016
Alexis—still not interested in makeup and hair, because she now wore hats
spend some time together his last year.
“Hanging out with my brother was the
BEST thing, “she remembers, “but he
her twin sister Amanda was the first
tricked me on this one.”
rated finalist in the state’s speech and
She went out for cross country
drama competition. Since the third
to run with him, but in Cut Back,
grade, when Amanda was promoted
Montana, cross country doesn’t have
and they were separated by schools,
a track or a standard course that big
the two of them basically had taken
cities might have. There, the students—
separate paths, Amanda achieving
all grades of cross country runners,
great success academically and Alexis
from seventh grade to seniors—would
struggling, among other things.
be hauled out “to nowhere,” says Alexis,
“and we’d have to get back!
“The first day, I had run, maybe, a
mile and a half, and I was dying—
literally coughing and sick—because
I had never run before. I really was all
by myself in the middle of nowhere.
No one was there! And, then, I heard
some bag pipe music playing. I
thought I had died and was hearing
Alexis knew Amanda was speaking
Alexis (right) with Dr. Temple Grandin
(photo courtesy Teresa Corey, Future Horizons)
“She, like Temple Grandin, says
that having autism doesn’t mean
you’re less. It definitely translates
into ‘different’...”
music on my way to heaven, but, then,
idea what Amanda’s speech was about.
She decided to attend the competition
without telling her sister because
it would be her last chance to hear
Amanda’s presentation.
Alexis showed up in her “hat filled
with button pins, an obnoxious pink
capri and rainbow socks” and sat
down to hear the presentations. When
all-of-a-sudden, up comes Coach
Reynolds in a beat old van, smoking
in the competition, but she had no
Amanda saw her, Alexis said Amanda
shocked when another mime came
made this face, which she subsequently
and playing this horrible bag pipe
up to her and talked to her, because
came to understand was an expression
music, which was literally blaring out
she had become so used to the silence
of “Oh, no. I’m screwed.”
of his van. He leaned out and yelled at
in the acts, she thought all the mimes
me, “There’s only one way to get the
were like her. She had an Eureka
music to stop, and it’s to run faster!
moment that changed her definition
“It was like the hazing in cross
and expectations of others, including
Alexis was in for the surprise of her life.
Amanda’s talk was about autism,
a subject she told the audience she
country,” she continued on. “I learned
herself, so she, also, began talking to
wanted to address because she had
that you’re not competing against
others when not acting as a mime.
a sister with autism, which she felt
other people; you’re competing
Also, she was encouraged to be a
most people didn’t understand. In the
cheerleader her freshman year, which
middle of her description about her life
concept I’ve lived by since then. I’m
she says she “truly hated, because the
with her sister and her struggles, Alexis
really not a competitor.”
girls would spend a lot of time talking
began crying because it was so moving.
against yourself, and that’s sort of my
In her ninth grade, she was
about others.” Her mom became the
encouraged by Danielle to take
coach and told her, “You stay in it until
a speech and drama course.
the end of the year, no matter what.”
Remember, Alexis still had a speech
Amanda did too.
Alexis looks back on these moments
Her lesson in tenacity had more
as life-changing. “To hear I was okay
impediment, although she’d been
attributes than the achievement of
to Amanda was the best thing ever. I
working with professionals for years
surviving the year. She also learned
just didn’t think that or know that until
towards improvement. When Alexis
the reciprocity in appreciation. She
then,” Alexis remembers. “That made
complained she couldn’t speak in front
continued on for three more years and
me the happiest I had ever been.”
of others, Danielle simply put her hand
was elected captain her senior year.
on her shoulder and told her, “It’s okay,
She now looks back on it and
because you can be a mime.”
Alexis realized she was who she was,
and she could be loved and appreciated
says, “All my siblings got me out of my
for that. “I realized it’s good we’re
comfort zone. They tricked me and
different, even if we’re similar in that
a mime, where she didn’t have to
pulled me, which forced me into social
we drive each other up the wall.”
talk “and I was really a good mime,
relationships, and I began to survive.”
So, Alexis signed on and became
so I made it to state in a speech and
theater competition.” There, she was
Her “biggest, best day ever,”
however, was in her junior year, when
Because Amanda basically fell
apart in the competition, she dropped
from first place to fourth.
www.autismdigest.com | February–April 2016
9
“Of course, that’s something she’ll
Her family has moved to South
never let me live down,” laughs Alexis.
Carolina, where they all get together
Today, Amanda has finished college
as frequently as possible. “My family
and is on her way in law school. Alexis’
older sister, Danielle, is the reigning
is everything to me,” claims Alexis.
“We’re very close, very close.”
Miss Montana (also having attained
Alexis is in college in her junior
a scholarship) and is doing her year’s
year, just recently having changed her
service visiting schools and other
major from communications to art.
events. Alexis is quick to point out
She also is speaking at conferences
that “she’s really a great Miss Montana
and events around the country—
because she’s really good at it and
realizing her dream to advocate for
knows what to do. She hasn’t had a day
those on the autism spectrum and to
off,” Alexis proudly claims.
promote understanding.
When Alexis wanted to go see
She, like Temple Grandin, says that
her sister compete in the Miss
having autism doesn’t mean you’re less.
America competition, Alexis
It definitely translates into “different,”
deliberately chopped off her long
but, from the title of Alexis’ Miss
tresses because she and her older
America’s platform, it very well may be
sister look so much alike, and she
a whole lot more!
didn’t want anyone to mistake her
Remember the title? “Normal is just
sister for her or take anything away
a dryer setting.” Alexis looks back over
from Danielle in her time in the
her 22 years and reflects on the hard
contest she has always loved.
times to let people know what life can
“Alexis is in college in her
junior year ... She also is
speaking at conferences
and events around the
country—realizing her dream
to advocate for those on
the autism spectrum and to
promote understanding.”
be like growing up with autism, but she
understands also that her family gave
her the greatest gifts anyone can have—
the understanding and appreciation of
who she is as a unique, talented, and—
well—beautiful (inside) individual.
At age 22, Alexis is realizing her
dream of telling her story to create
understanding of autism. She may
not have the name recognition of
Temple Grandin, but, once she starts
speaking with her mixture of hard
knock experience, misdiagnosis, late
diagnosis, humor, and heart, the
crowds throng about her—wanting
her advice, asking more questions,
thanking her profusely for her insights,
and wanting her to sign something.
She’s working on a book, so she may
have something to sign soon. 
Lyn Dunsavage Young is a journalist and
was the founder/publisher of the Dallas
Downtown News, a newspaper that
won numerous Katie Awards, one for
the most outstanding weekly in Texas;
recipient of the WICI Award for the
Most Outstanding Journalist in Texas
(of three) and recipient of the Sigma
Delta Chi/Press Club’s Outstanding
Journalism Career Award; and co-author
or primary editor of six books. She works
for Future Horizons as their media
Alexis won the “America’s Choice” award at the Miss America 2013 Pageant.
(photo courtesy Danielle Wineman Photography)
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Autism Asperger’s Digest | February–April 2016
coordinator and Director of Advertising
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Her email is [email protected].