Antinarella
Session 7
A Tale of Two Disciplines
Fundamental Writing Technique
THE “TO BE” VERB
Watch out for the “to be” verb and all its forms; it will infiltrate your writing and smother your voice. It can
leave your writing expressionless, wooden and flat. With an attentive eye and a willingness to revise your
language, you can prevent these verbs from diminishing the power your writing should possess.
“To be” verbs appear most often when a writer feels a need to tell a reader something quickly and
definitively, but the power, emotion, and depth of meaning may disappear. When appropriate, reduce “to
be” use (depending on your audience, subject and purpose).
Don’t merely avoid using “to be” words in your writing; make it a conscious decision!
“To be” verbs include the following: is, are, was, be, being, been, were, and am. Read the paragraphs belo
w to see how they work on your writing!
Passage 1
The old village was quiet and was at the base of the mountain. In a nearby field, a shepherd was working long
hours to tend his flock. Diligently, he had been working to protect his small flock of sheep from wolves. He was by
himself, so it was impossible to guard them all night. In the other villages, wolves were attacking sheep and were
making kills every night. The man was alone and was determined to save his flock from these nightly raids.
Marco was standing watch late one night when it happened. He heard the wolves before he was able to see
them in the darkness. Because he was standing in dark shadows and was not moving, the leader of the pack passed by
without noticing him. He estimated that there were almost twenty wolves in the pack.
Now there would be an end to this killing he decided. His teeth were clenched, and his rifle was shifted into
position. Marco’s gun was raised and was aimed at the leader’s head.
Antinarella
Session 7
A Tale of Two Disciplines
(172 words)
Recast one or two sentences with no to be verbs: zero tolerance for the to be verb!
Passage 2 (revised)
The quiet village jutted out from the base of the mountain. In a nearby field, a solitary shepherd worked
long hours tending his flock of sheep. He labored to protect his small flock from wolves, but he found it difficult to
keep watch continuously. In other nearby villages, wolves had attacked sheep and eaten them. Marco vowed he would
protect his flock from these nightly raids.
Late one night, while he stood watch—it happened. Before he could see the pack of wolves, he heard them
moving in the darkness. Marco stood motionless in the dark shadows as the leader of the pack passed by without
noticing him. He counted twenty wolves in the pack.
Resolved to end these killings, Marco clenched his teeth as he shifted his rifle into position. He raised the gun
slowly, aiming it directly at the leader’s head.
(143 words)