The Illness Issue - Gappy Tooth Industries

Gappy Tooth Industries Magazine
The Wheatsheaf, Oxford
27/02/09, Doors 20.00, £4 on the door.
www.gappytooth.com
Alex Bittern
The Halecyons
Face0meter
Issue 42 January 2009
The Illness Issue
The Wheatsheaf, Oxford
20/02/09, Doors 20.00, £4 on the door.
www.myspace.com/swissconcrete
oInterviews
ooLetteRS
oooStories
Young sensation
Superman revenge club
Secret rivals
Www.gappytooth.com
Editorial
Merry new year!
of Sunshine Republic at GTI; if that was
musical sickness, is Glockenspiel aural
healing?
Here at Denture-land we found ourselves
biting off a bit more than our bodies
recommended daily intake over the festive
season. We have therefore increased our
exercise levels and are now typing
minimum 10 words a minute.
Anyways, nuff of my rambling words, the
prince of tycoons Rich and Rob, have put
together a little feast for our earbuds tonight
as we sample some very excellent music.
We hope you have a great start and an
even greater new year! Feel free to use our
credit crunch family discount voucher in the
spread!
Enjoy!
Nik
Email to the [email protected]
Contributors:
Tycoon #2
Clive Newman
The bands
G: Yep we are a tonic!
GTI: The number of acts in the (loose) area
you work in has blossomed over recent
years. Is this a good thing, or do you think
there are one too many home made drone
CDRs floating around the music world?
G: All we know is that there is never enough
good music, but if it's shit it's shit!
Cover Momoko Asuka
GTI: Glockenspiel: Rock/electronica/imrov/
classical/”Genrr names mean anything, shut
your mealy mouth, idiot”?
The Popaganda -Interviews
Featuring Tycoon #2 as GTI
Glockenspiel
GTI: I believe you
played as part
G: Names are in the eye of the beholder..
names are irrelevant.
GTI: What are your favourite records to
listen to when you’re laid up in bed with the
‘flu?
G: Crass, 'Feeding of the 5000' especially
'band from the roxy' That makes us feel
very well indeed.
Hey Clive, you crazy monkey!
Just letting you know about some of the
best locals acts I’ve been ferreting around
for to brighten up your 2009. So many to
choose from, and all with disabilities, how
ace is that? We have some funky new
wave from the Warneford in the form of
OCD Soundsystem – an amazing band in
the mould of Foals, but it does take them 5
hours to set up. Helps if you have a spirit
level. Then there’s Milton-UnderWychwood bluesman, Jet Lagged Jeffrey,
who has all these totally authentic songs
about his upbringing, although he does
tend to fall asleep at about seven, so make
sure he’s booked early. Finally, how about
Amelia 8, a vocal octet from Parkstown
who are all called Amelia (except for
Emilia), and whose subtle music could
soothe the savagest of beasts?
Beasts like you and me, partner – I’ll meet
you for an Advocaat binge any time you
like!
Terry Tacheman, BBC Provinces
Clive says: Heard your breakfast show
whilst I was vomiting into my breadbin
today –sounds like you were a little the
worse for wear after a night out with me!
Lightweight!!
clive!
messages on my my!space! (“we quite like
your cakes” – the understudies! “another
quite nice cake” - the understudies! “are
you coming to tomorrow’s gig, uncle nick?”
– the understudies!). so i should get in
free.
some idiot on the door of the academy told
me this was “irrelevant!” the other day!!
can you imagine? sorry this is a bit off
topic for the issue, but I know you’ll make
an exception for me!
nicky nokia, important man!
Clive says: Who are you again?
clive,
our latest project is a recording of digitally
treated samples of coughing recorded at
the jr hospital on december the twelfth two
thousand and four. tubercular bells shall
be available as an edition of one, encoded
into the mucus on a hankie – for fourteen
hundred and nine pounds eleven pence
the buyer receives the tissue and a full biochemical laboratory complex to discover
the mp3 data therein. i was going to have
terry tacheman advertise this, but he
wanted to run it under the heading “catarrh
hero”, which would have made us sound
silly.
monty pepper and monty moses, alembic
distillation records.
would you believe it? despite the fact that
i’m an expert in patisserie! – a tisser, as we Clive says: something funny as a reward
for those who’ve bothered to read this long.
say in the know! – and i have selflessly
As if.
baked fondant fancies and petits fours for
lots of musicians in oxford!! i still find that
sometimes venues don’t let me in for free!!
after i once gave a light to the bassist out
of mr big too, near the angel & greyhound
loos!!! i’m that nice! it’s wrong because
bands quite like my cakes, check the
ineffectual, it has also been alleged that we
have a narrow horizon – well, what about
our new event raising money for the
afflicted peoples of Zimbabwe? Dub In
The Time Of Cholera shall be a wonderful
afternoon’s fundraising entertainment at
the youth centre, with live music hi jinks
from Dreadlodocus, a world reggae outfit
formed by our parishioners, interspersed
with educational slideshows about the
epidemic. And a tombola.
All this because of that charming visiting
negro African missionary, who has some
wonderful ideas, even if he does look
somewhat “raggle taggle”. And, despite
being foreign himself he also whole
heartedly agrees with our views on smiting
the Middle Eastern heathen. Just goes to
show they’re not all the same, there are
some good ones!
In The Afternoon”, where we meditate to
minimalism whilst the organisers go to the
bank for some important book keeping (we
don’t use Different Trains, however, in case
we start thinking about Jews instead of
karmic oneness). It’s only £67 per hour,
imagine that!
They have taught me that everything I do is
valid, in my life as same much also in my
art too. You can do anything at the drop in
sessions, it’s all equally equal in spiritual
terms. They have, however, requested
that I never sing at the centre – something
to do with the emotional power of my
vocals contaminating the….I forget, but I’m
sure it made sense at the time…
G:Jaki liebezeit itus.. thats not a bad one to
get.
Lost transmission
GTI: Have you ever played a gig where you
were so
sick you
should
have
been in
I hate you and your maggazyne. Don’t be
upset by this, I love you verry much, I just
happen to hait you two! Becuase you
never put me on the front cover, I have
started mayking my own vershon of The
Dencher, with just stuff about me. Reeding
Clive
your version, with hardli any me, made me
reely ill. Luckily, I rote myself lodes of Get
I greet you as an equal. We are all on a
level field, even so me too is. After my last Wel Soon cards.
outburst in your organ I’ve managed to
Love and hate,
calm myself, by attending sessions at
Omphalos, a new Holistic Philosophy
Kev Andrews, The Strummys
Service in Greater Leys. They teach that
everything in the universe balances and
Clive says: Kev, I like you, but please stop
that we simply have to grasp the rail of
emailing me asking to go on holiday
cosmic singularity that binds the train of
together – I’m sure you can enjoy Centre
universality together in an eternal loop of
Parcs on your own.
truthity. We have many musical healing
sessions, and I’m a big fan of “Steve Reich
charity gig was probably one of the events
at the late lamented Exeter Hall, raising
money for childline.raised loads of cash,
and it was a fabulous gig, we asked
Rodrigo and Gabriela and Supergrass to
come and play at the gig, but both were on
tour..Supergrass gave us a signed LP to
auction..good lads.
GTI: What’s your favourite
symptom?
LT: I quite like the one where
you go back to bed and take
the day off work..yeah, that’s
tidy...
GTI: Why does the image on
your Myspace page look like
a Point n Click game set in a
70s living room?
Angela Starburst, Intratainment Guru Child,
Rose Hill
Clive says: Thanks for the musical Xmas
Anyway, must dash, so much to do with the card cassette – it seems to keep the
rodents from my converted barn double
“kiddie winkies”!
garage wonderfully.
Olive Bath-Bombe, The sKids Youth Club,
Clyve,
Kiddington
Clive Says: Can I have 47 in the tombola?
It’s my lucky number. A bit of harmless
superstition – unlike the Godless heathen
religion you rightly mention. Smite away!!
GTI: What’s your favourite symptom?
bed? Was it a psychedelic Benelin fuelled
trip, or just a huge pain in the bum?
LT: I had flu, very badly and did 2 gigs that
week, with Transmission, as we were then
known, at The Cellar, and with True
Rumour. The Cellar gig went really well,
right up until the end of the last song, when
everything went black, or at least quite
grey..don’t know how I got home..spooky.
GTI: You & Mark’s other bands
have done a lot of charity
gigs. Ever done one for a
healthcare charity? Which
charity event was most
rewarding?
LT: We once did a gig where
all I had to eat was a tube of
toothpaste..and also my mate,
who’s a dentist, plays the
drums..he’s incredibly well off
though, so doesn’t need any
money . Most rewarding
LT: I think that everything is
cyclical, and the 70s are on there way
back..well, not the 70s themselves,
obviously, but the stuff…there was some
funny stuff in the 70s..reminds me of when I
were a lad..lava lamps and all that, oh..and
the Sweeney, great program.
GTI: I notice you’ve been thru various
managers? Howe many? Did you drive
any of them to illness?!
LT: Hmmmmmmmmmmm..who have you
been talking to…only a few managers..
One of them was a chef, and I think, our
combined lack of taste for good food, drove
him back to the kitchen..another was a
wizard, ahem!!! And he used to cast spells
on his enemies, I think some of them might
have suffered from the odd illness..mumps,
beri-beri and the like.
GTI: A review likened you to Muse and
Liszt in the same sentence! If pressed,
which of those is your favourite?
Winehouse, Santana, Zappa and Gabriel:
which of these do you think would make
the best and worst nurse?
R: Best=Winehouse – she’s got the
greatest range of drugs to hand and will
give you a cheeky swig from the bottle
when the doctor’s not looking.
Worst=Gabriel – he’s too obsessed with
death and decay. He probably watch you
die just for musical inspiration.
GTI: You’ve had a couple of different
lineups. Without being rude to anyone (or
you can if you like!) what’s the difference
between the old and new Ropetrick?
LT: If pressed…now there’s a start to a
sentence….I would say Muse, although, I’m
currently more fuelled by Calexico and
R: More beefiness, less junk.
Rodrigo and Gabriela..Liszt takes
something of a backseat these days.
GTI: They say laughter is the best
medicine, but it’s actually a real pain when
you have acute bronchitis. Any other folk
Ropetrick
wisdom gone bad you can share with us?
GTI: Your site mentions influences from
R :There's many a
good cock that
came out of a
tatter'd bag. Scottish Proverb
INSIDE TRACKS – A harmless yet
brightly coloured critical placebo to
assist in the ongoing drug trial of
ROCK. Clive Newman, MD, in surgery.
Diagnosis: Fervour! That’s right, we at The
Denture have been pretty excited about
this illness issue. It’s a great topic – I
mean, how else could I take three days off
for a hangover after a serious session on
the Taboo with my chum Terry Tacheman
from BBC Provinces and chalk it up as
research? Mind you, they don’t know
everything do they, these modern doctors?
Despite the fact that they all come from
India now, where they have different
diseases (and, I’m sorry, but if you hail
from a nation that lets filthy bloody cows do
a dump in a shop doorway during peak
GTI: Which member has the loudest
Saturday retail hours, then I don’t trust your
sneeze?
views on health maintenance), they tend to
speak in jargon. What’s wrong with a bit of
R: Alex/Karen – both have “permacold” at
good old folk wisdom, eh, that got us
the moment
through the history of mankind, and two
GTI: Do you think Ropetrick’s music could world wars? It’s like my GP here in
be a healing force, or are you more likely to Thrupp, he believes in the truth of the
traditional saws and old wives’ tales. Just
make people feel sicker? And how would
the other day my sister turned up at his
you describe your sound, ignoring stupid
office screaming a hullaballoo about a
medical references?
utero-vaginal prolapse she’d just had.
“Better out than in”, he sagely counselled,
R: We are the placebo of the musical
and nipped outside for a cheroot and a
world. We can heal through the power of
snifter. Anyway, on with the letters!
suggestion alone or have no effect
whatsoever. Side effects are possible,
however.
When camping,
place your
trousers between
the groundsheet
and your roll mat
at night to ensure
you have a good
crease in the
morning. You
can’t let standards
slip just because
you’re on a walking holiday.
£1 Discount
Meet the Family
Swiss Concrete/Gappy Tooth
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Valid Feb 2009
Discount Code *69*
Dear Clive
I’ve had it with all the “hugger
mugger” that these poltroons quote
“willy nilly”, claiming that what we do
is “wishy washy”! “Fiddle faddle”,
say I! When they find out what
we’ve been up to, their whole
conception of The sKids will turn
“topsy turvy”, let me assure you. As
well as claiming our organisation is