Narrative writing – build your own adventure story
Read the following paragraphs from the novel The Hobbit by J.R.R Tolkien.
This excerpt of the novel comes from the part when the dwarves, in an underground
cave, leave Bilbo Baggins alone. He meets Gollum in this cave for the first time. He
also finds the ring, which becomes so important in the trilogy The Lord of the Rings.
1
When Bilbo opened his eyes, he wondered if he had; for it was just
2
as dark as with them shut. No one was anywhere near him. Just
3
imagine his fright! He could hear nothing, see nothing, and he
4
could feel nothing except the stone of the floor.
5
Very slowly, he got up and groped about on all fours, till he touched
6
the wall of the tunnel; but neither up nor down it could he find
7
anything: nothing at all, no sign of goblins, no sign of dwarves. His
8
head was swimming, and he was far from certain even of the
9
direction they had been going in when he had his fall. He guessed
10
as well as he could, and crawled along for a good way, till suddenly
11
his hand met what felt like a tiny ring of cold metal lying on the
12
floor of the tunnel. It was a turning point in his career, but he did
13
not know it. He put the ring in his pocket almost without thinking;
14
certainly it did not seem of any particular use at the moment. He
15
did not go much further, but sat down on the cold floor and gave
16
himself up to complete miserableness, for a long while. He thought
17
of himself frying bacon and eggs in his own kitchen at home – for he
18
could feel inside that it was high time for some meal of other; but
19
that only made him miserabler.
20
He could not think what to do; nor could he think what had
21
happened; or why he had been left behind; or why, if he had been
22
left behind, the goblins had not caught him; or why even his head
23
was so sore. The truth was he had been lying quiet, out of sight
24
and out of mind, in a very dark corner for a long while.
© www.teachit.co.uk 2015
24430
Page 1 of 7
Narrative writing – build your own adventure story
Look at how Tolkien describes Bilbo’s experience in a dark tunnel.
Pay close attention because you will soon be writing about being in a dark tunnel!
1)
How does Tolkien show that it was really dark in lines 1-4?
2)
Look at lines 5-6. Find a word that means the same as ‘fumble about’.
3)
Write down two examples of how we know that Bilbo is totally alone.
4)
Look at lines 8-10. Write down a metaphor that shows that Bilbo is confused.
5)
Look at lines 11-13. Write down two adjectives Tolkien uses to describe the ring
Bilbo finds in the dark.
6)
Look at lines 13-15. Write down two things that show that Bilbo does not
understand how significant the ring will become.
7)
Look at lines 16-18. Write down one word that shows Bilbo’s emotions.
8)
Look at lines 16-19. What made Bilbo feel even more upset?
9)
Look at lines 20-23. In your own words, write down the five different things Bilbo
has to ask himself.
10)
Look at lines 23-24. Write down an expression that shows that Bilbo was so quiet
and unmoving that no one would be able to see him or even remember he existed.
© www.teachit.co.uk 2015
24430
Page 2 of 7
Narrative writing – build your own adventure story
Falling into the tunnel
Now it’s your turn to write a story. Imagine that
you have fallen, accidentally, into a dark tunnel,
like the one above. You fall quite a long way
down and land – on what? What can you smell?
What can you hear?
Complete the following table to help you plan.
Try to think of as many ideas as possible.
What do you
see?
What do you
smell?
What do you
hear?
What can you
touch?
What emotions
do you feel?
silhouettes
stagnant water
drips of water
crumbling earth
of the tunnel
fear
nothingness
sweat
darkness like a
blanket
Once you have completed the table of senses, you are ready to start writing the start of
your story. You can use the following paragraph to help you start …
My brothers and I had been playing hide and seek for many hours in the fields behind our
house. It was my older brother, Allan’s turn to seek us out. Joe and I ran our separate
ways and I decided to wade through the deep grass at the back of the field: exactly
where my mother has told us many times, not to go. I thought that it would be the
perfect place to hide. I was wrong …
In this paragraph:

describe falling down into the hole/tunnel

describe how you walked through the tunnel. Describe what you
saw/heard/smelled/touched/tasted.

finish with a sentence about how you might get out of the tunnel.
You could use the following to help you finish the paragraph:
As I was about to give up hope of ever getting out, I spotted a slanting light burning
through tree roots, which were hanging down into the tunnel.
© www.teachit.co.uk 2015
24430
Page 3 of 7
Narrative writing – build your own adventure story
Seeing new land for the first time
For the next part of your story, you have to try to imagine that you have come out of the
tunnel only to realise that you are in a fantasy world you have never seen before.
To help you describe this new fantasy world, think about what it will be like and what
sort of animals/buildings/landscape you will find there.
For example you could have some of the following:

unicorns

a chocolate river

a gingerbread house

a magic waterfall

a magic bridge

a frightening forest.
Next, draw a map of this new world you’ve discovered. Include:

the tunnel you came out of

four ‘obstacle areas’(e.g. a burning
well, a swamp marsh etc.)

and a place for the ‘monster’ to
hide (we’ll get to the monster
next!), e.g. a cave, a giant nest, a
skull island, underground tunnel, a
mountain.
© www.teachit.co.uk 2015
24430
Page 4 of 7
Narrative writing – build your own adventure story
Noun
(person or
thing)
Adjective
(describing
word)
Verb
(doing word)
Adverb
(describes
verb -ly)
Simile
(comparison)
sky
silver
ripples
quickly
like snakes
clouds
sun
moon
sea
trees
hills
birds
Once you have completed your table, start a new section of your story, describing this
new, fantasy world you have discovered. You could use the following to help you:
I managed to haul myself out of my dark prison. Immediately I was almost blinded by
the light. This was no ordinary light and this was no ordinary place. I was no longer in
the fields and my brothers were nowhere to be seen. I looked up into the silver sky and
realised that it was moving; it was rippling quickly like a million slimy, slithering snakes
in the same barrel.
Once you have finished describing the landscape, you must decide to explore this new
and amazing world.
I decided that I was definitely not going back down that horrible tunnel so instead, I
resolved to take my feet on an adventure!
Now draw tiny footsteps on your map from the tunnel you came out of, through the
fantasy world, past or through all of the obstacles, ending at the monster’s hiding place.
Your footprints will help you to plan each paragraph you are about to write.
Now write one paragraph about each obstacle you come across and how you manage to
overcome it. Don’t write about your meeting with the monster yet …
© www.teachit.co.uk 2015
24430
Page 5 of 7
Narrative writing – build your own adventure story
Meeting your monster
Now it’s time to create your monster.
Think about what it will look like and what its distinguishing
features are, i.e. spiky skin, glows in the dark etc. then draw
and colour in your monster.
Give your monster a name.
Now label your monster with some behavioural features, for
example, gets very angry when hungry, doesn’t like children,
knocks people out with its bad breath.
Now you have designed your monster, you are ready to meet it!
Before you go on to fight your monster, it is worthwhile doing some revision on how to
use speech marks – you may want to talk to it!
Using speech marks:
> Start a new line when someone else speaks.
> Put other punctuation like ! . ? inside the speech marks.
For example
1 . Why do we have to do homework asked the pupil miserably.
‘Why do we have to do homework?’ asked the pupil miserably.
Add the speech marks to these sentences.
2. Susan shouted watch out!
3. What’s on TV I said.
4. What’s the time asked Mark. It’s 9 o’clock replied Tom.
5. I watched carefully as the teacher did the example. Now have a go at doing it
yourself she said. I still wasn’t sure so I asked her to go through it again.
6. What do you want to do when you grow up said John. I don’t know replied Dan I
might be a pilot.
7. What are your hobbies asked Jill. Well said Jack I like collecting model cars. How dull
laughed Jill. Jack sulked and wouldn’t speak to Jill for the rest of the day.
© www.teachit.co.uk 2015
24430
Page 6 of 7
Narrative writing – build your own adventure story
Defeating your monster
Now, write about how you manage to defeat your monster.
Include:

how you discovered the monster

what it looked like when you first saw it

what it smelled like or sounded like when you first saw it

what it did to you to show you that it was dangerous

what you did to it in order to get out of the situation.
When you have written this, it’s time to finish your story. You should end up back where
you started - be imaginative about how you get there!
© www.teachit.co.uk 2015
24430
Page 7 of 7