Making Room – Joseph
2. Pondering What to Do
Matthew 1:18-25
Sid Batts
First Presbyterian Church
Greensboro, North Carolina
December 7, 2014
Second Sunday of Advent
Making room is a theme running all through the original Christmas story. And in American
culture, we struggle with making room for Christmas with all that goes on during the season.
Last week we heard about Mary and Elizabeth and how Mary made room for God and pregnancy
after receiving that startling announcement, and how Elizabeth, Mary’s older cousin, made room
for her in the aftermath.
When it comes to the Christmas story, we go out of our way to make room for Mary, the mother
of Jesus. But when it comes to Joseph…not so much! I mean, next to the baby Jesus, Mary is the
star of our Christmas drama…this innocent, adolescent, young woman who finds herself
strangely visited by God’s spirit and told that she is to be the mother of God’s child. Our hearts
get tugged when thinking about the position Mary found herself in. And then we remember the
brutal trip she made, nine months pregnant, from Nazareth to Bethlehem, sixty miles riding on
the back of a donkey, and wondering how she could do it…physically and emotionally. Mary has
our heart. But what about Joseph?
Through the years we have relegated Joseph to a bit part in the Christmas drama, making him an
obscure figure, receiving little press and few accolades for his role in the birth of Jesus.
Somewhere I hear the late comedian, Rodney Dangerfield saying about Joseph: “I don’t get no
respect.”
Think about it. Where are the songs that celebrate Joseph? No Magnificat for Joseph! Have you
seen art, iconic, or from the great Renaissance artists, that somehow lifts up Joseph . . . or Joseph
holding the baby Jesus? The only art I have seen shows Joseph as an old man, twice the age of
Mary, which is based on legend and conjecture, not fact.
And, whereas Mary is nominated every year for her role as best actress, Joseph hardly even
receives an honorable mention as best actor in a supporting role. In our manager scenes, Joseph
is the silent one, always standing next to Mary, always a background figure and never given any
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real personality. No Joseph is more like a Christmas ornament than a real person in the
Christmas story. However, through Matthew’s telling of the first Christmas, I think there is
another story . . . the story of a person of substance and character, a man who makes room and
teaches us something about the meaning of Christmas.
***
It is a rather amazing story, this story of Joseph. According to Matthew and Luke, he was
engaged to marry Mary. The custom of ancient Israel was for families to arrange the marriages
of their children. For most of us that is an appalling idea –but if you have been around as many
marriages and weddings as I have, I’ll just say there are worse things!
Anyway, families negotiated the marriages and with Nazareth being a small town, we can
assume (more than likely) that Mary and Joseph probably knew each other growing up.
Engagement was different from our practices today. It was then a formal and binding
arrangement between a couple; they were considered as married except that they did not live
with each other or have intimate relations. If for some reason one of the two decided to end the
engagement, a legal divorce was required. It was tradition that the engagement would last about
a year and then the marriage ceremony would take place, with the whole town gathered for a
week of festivities and celebration.
It was during this engagement period that Matthew says (Mary) was found to be with child from
the Holy Spirit. Luke tells us how Mary discovered this, but neither Luke or Matthew tells us
how Joseph is given this news…the news that his bride-to-be is now pregnant.
Think about that! Do you think that one day, Mary, through tears perhaps and with a trembling
voice, said, “Joseph, I know you are not going to believe this but…”
Or, do you think that maybe Joseph noticed Mary’s expanding stomach and questioned her?
We don’t know. But we can believe, I think, that on that day of discovery, Joseph’s world fell
apart…perhaps with disbelief, or with anger, with shock, with disappointment, with
confusion…or perhaps all of the above.
There was a young husband who had had a fight with his wife and decided to send her flowers to
make amends. He told the florist to put two sentences on the card, “I’m sorry.” and “I love you.”
However, the florist was not precise – so when the wife received the flowers, the card was
missing an important period. It said, “I’m sorry I love you.”i
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On the day Joseph discovered Mary’s pregnancy, my guess is he had some thought of being
sorry he loved her.
***
Now much has been written about the differences in men and women, especially in how we
handle stress or problems. We remember that when Mary was tapped to be the mother of God,
after she agreed, in the next scene we see her visit with cousin Elizabeth. The psychological
community, noting our differences, will say that women, when in a jam, need someone with
whom to talk things through. So Mary went to Elizabeth to talk things through.
Joseph, however, seems like a typical guy. When we are confused, under stress or facing a
problem, most of the time we men go into isolation, go into our caves, so that we can figure out
our problem. It may not be the best way . . . but it is our way . . . and often our first step.
So, we can imagine Joseph in shock from the stunning news that his girlfriend is pregnant and
wondering what he will do. Alone, it seems, he tries to sort out his options. And his options
were:
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He could move up the wedding date, marry Mary sooner, and hope people were not keeping
up with the number of months involved in such things;
He could divorce her quietly;
He could expose Mary publicly, destroying her reputation in the eyes of the community, and
by doing so, win accolades from the religious hardliners for being a “righteous man,” for
standing up against sin and adultery. It was rare, but not unheard of in First Century Jewish
culture, that unmarried pregnant women were stoned for their sin once the news was out.
In his isolation Joseph apparently made his decision. Matthew writes: Joseph, being a righteous
man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to dismiss her quietly.
Joseph, being a righteous man…What that means, I think, is that Joseph as a deeply religious
man could not live with what he believed was Mary’s adultery. But part of his righteousness was
his kind heart, a kind heart that certainly was breaking because of what I want to believe was his
love and affection for Mary. Therefore, he did not want her to be publicly disgraced. Call it a
romantic notion, but I believe that Joseph really loved Mary, despite the less-than-romantic
custom of having arranged marriages.
When I was a kid, I remember seeing billboards saying, “Impeach Earl Warren.” Not sure I knew
who Earl Warren was but now I know he was Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, and led a court
that reformed civil rights, voting rights and desegregation in public schools. In the 1960s, signs
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declaring “Impeach Earl Warren” could be seen around the country, the work of the infamous
John Birch Society.
So this story I found intriguing. Also back in the ‘60s, our country went through the Cuban
Missile Crisis. As an elementary school student I remember it just a little. Apparently we were
close to war with the Soviet Union over missiles in nearby Cuba. A later article from the New
York Times adds a footnote to the crisis. It reads:
Some 2000 of the most important people in the government were issued laminated
passes, with gold wire threaded through their ID photos to prevent counterfeiting. These
imposing cards provided entry, in a crisis, to an alternate seat of government, a
cavernous nuclear bomb shelter dug into a rural Virginia mountainside. Among the
windowless offices stretching down its long fluorescent corridors were quarters for the
Supreme Court, and among the passes were nine for the justices. But when officials came
to give Chief Earl Warren his pass, he had a question – he did not notice a pass for Mrs.
Warren.
“Well, ah, there’s not room for…wives,” he was told.
“Well, in that case, now you have room for another VIP,” as he handed his pass back.
I want to believe that is the kind of love Joseph had for Mary.
***
Anyway, Joseph had decided to quietly dissolve the engagement. But at the eleventh hour,
perhaps on the very evening before he was planning to tell Mary of his decision, he found
himself in dreamland.
If you have ever been in a place of much-stress, you may have experienced how our dreams
reflect our anxiety. In our dilemmas our dreams are sometimes haunting or unclear. But
sometimes our dreams are helpful…very helpful. I remember reading that famed golfer Jack
Nicklaus was in a terrible slump, causing him much anxiety. But he had a dream one night that
tipped him to his problem. It was his grip . . . how he was holding the golf club! And that dream
helped him fix the problem.
For me, one such time occurred when I was grieving the death of my father. I had a dream in
which my father spoke important words to me. I can’t explain that but I do treasure it.
Joseph found himself in a dream and an angel spoke to him about making room saying,
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Joseph…do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the
Holy Spirit. She is to bear a son and you are to name him Jesus...
Now what do you think Joseph thought when he woke up?
Had an angel of the Lord really spoken to him? Remember Scrooge when the first ghost visits
him? He thinks it was something he ate? Was it really an angel of the Lord or bad food? Was
God really speaking to Joseph, or did he love Mary so much that he wanted a justifiable way to
marry her? Joseph could have dismissed the dream as “just a dream” and gone about his wellthought-out plan of quietly divorcing Mary.
And Matthew writes: When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord
commanded him; he took (Mary) as his wife…
Which was Joseph making room and exhibiting remarkable faith…and in my mind it's one of
the great moments of our Christmas story.
Joseph makes room.
When he decided the dream really was a message from God, it was a moment of great trust, a
leap into the unknown. And when we think about it – that, really is what our life of faith is about,
isn’t it? It is trusting that God is real, trusting that this story of a baby born in a Bethlehem stable
is not some made-up fairy tale out of the Middle East, but the story of God’s Redeemer born for
you and me. Faith is always a matter of trust….so much more than weighing the probabilities
and making our logical decisions. It’s a trust we see in Joseph.
Where are we on the Christmas story? Making room can make all the difference.