Unconditional Love – Embracing the One Who Embraces You
But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless. When I was a
child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.
Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything
with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything
completely, just as God now knows me completely. Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and
love—and the greatest of these is love.—1 Corinthians 13:10-13 (NLT)
Some people get a pet for unconditional love, so I hear. Other people, like the wicked queen
in Snow White, have a mirror. Most of us know the queen’s daily ritual of asking her mirror,
“Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?” To which the mirror always
replied she was, at least until Snow White grew up and changed everything. The Wicked
Queen, bless her heart, imperfectly saw herself as a gorgeous supermodel until one day she
finally saw on the outside what she was on the inside…perfectly hideous.
One day, as the Word tells us, there will be a time of perfection, or as the NIV puts it, a time of
completeness. It is the day we meet our Maker and the day we can finally put all our useless
toils and troubles behind us, at least if we are part of God’s family through Christ. If you’re
curious enough, go to Revelation 20:11-15. It ain’t pretty if you aren’t part of God’s family.
I find it interesting that many weddings, including mine, have someone read 1 Corinthians
13:1-7, skip verses 8-12 and then tack on verse 13 for good measure. If we actually read 1
Corinthians 13 by beginning in 1 Corinthians 12, we find what Paul is referencing in those
skipped verses. He’s telling the Corinthians that while all the spiritual gifts are good, they
are putting too much emphasis on who has and how to get what gifts without putting any
emphasis on the most excellent way he refers to 1 Corinthians 12:31 – enter, Love.
Paul knew love is the most excellent way because Jesus said so, “Love the Lord your God with
all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The
second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than
these.”—Mark 12:30-31
Ironically enough, weddings celebrate the love between two people, but often a different
love entirely is celebrated than the love Paul is speaking about! In fact, if the King James
Version of the Bible rather than almost any other version was read from, it is likely no one
would read the passage at weddings since the KJV uses the word charity instead of love. If it
were read in the original Greek language we would call it agape love.
Yes, another word lesson. The Greeks have four words for love. C.S. Lewis even wrote a
book on them called, simply enough, The Four Loves. The first is storge, which is an
affectionate love, much like you would have for your pet, if you had one you liked. Next
comes philia, or brotherly love. This love comes with mutual expectations. In other words,
I’ll do for you and you will do for me if we are going to keep at this relationship. Then we
have eros, which may be the closest thing to what many people think love is judging by
Hollywood. Eros love is the sexual, sensual attraction between two people.
Unconditional Love – Embracing the One Who Embraces You
None of these are the 1 Corinthians 13 love. Agape is the charity or love Paul writes about to
the Corinthian church. And what does this love mean? Unconditional is what it has come to
be defined as. In fact, nearly 28 years ago my pastor tried counseling a 19 year old child
prior to her wedding day on it, using the words agape and unconditional and asking her if
she understood it. I nodded and smiled at him, but looking back now I can see that I was
thinking and reasoning just like a child who wanted to skip agape and move right into eros.
Fast forward a quarter century. I’m dropping my daughter off at college, perusing the
bookstore and come across a sign I have to have. “Mirror, mirror on the wall…what the heck
happened?” I prop it behind my bathroom sink against the mirror so I can see it every
morning while I slather on my war paints (some call it makeup). It keeps me humble. The
Wicked Queen would have done well to have her mirror speak the truth. She was ugly on the
inside. And you know what? I am too. And so are you. Don’t smack me.
You might be asking at this point, what on earth does any of this have to do with
unconditional love? Or embracing…like the chapter title suggests??!! The answer is
unconditional love has nothing to do with anything on earth. You can’t muster it. You can’t
work at it. You can’t do it. And what’s worse, no one on earth is capable of giving it away,
not even you. Want to know why? Because as 1 John 4:16 says, agape, or love is…God.
And so we know and rely on the love (agape) God has for us. God is love (agape). Whoever lives
in love (agape) lives in God, and God in them.
The same word Paul uses in all of 1 Corinthians 13…agape…is the same word John uses to
tell us what God is. Agape. All love comes from God because God is love. And He isn’t the
affectionate, the brotherly or the sensual love. He’s the charity love. So what does that look
like? It’s interesting that today we know charity as an entity that helps the down and out, or
that charity is something we give to someone in need of help without expecting anything in
return. As we take a closer look, that is exactly what Paul describes in 1 Corinthians 13.
Circle the word love every time it appears in 1 Corinthians 13. Then complete the
instructions that follow as your assignment for our next meeting together.
1 Corinthians 13 New International Version (NIV)
13 If I speak in the tongues
of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a
resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all
mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have
love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I
may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4
[a]
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not
dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of
wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always
trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Unconditional Love – Embracing the One Who Embraces You
8
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are
tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in
part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part
disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a
child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.12 For now we see only a
reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know
fully, even as I am fully known.
13
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1. Read the entire chapter of 1 Corinthians 13 out loud. Then, in verses 1 through 3, cross
out the word love and replace it with JESUS, who is both the Word and God (John 1:1,14).
2. Now, in verses 4 through 13 replace the words love and it when it refers to love) with
YOUR NAME. Re-read ONLY 1 Corinthians 13:1-7 out loud with the changes you made,
keeping JESUS in verses 1 through 3. What do you imagine “the mirror” would say to you
if “the fairest” were replaced with “the most loving”? Describe in your journal/notebook
how the meaning of 1 Corinthians 13 changed when you substituted your name for love.
3. Now, in verses 4 through 13 replace the word love with JESUS. Re-read ONLY 1
Corinthians 13:1-7 out loud with the changes you made (keeping JESUS in verses 1
through 3). Describe in your journal/notebook how the meaning of 1 Corinthians 13
changed when you substituted JESUS for love.
4. Verse 12 says we see and know only part of the picture now. It also says we are fully
known by God. How does it make you feel knowing you are fully known and fully loved,
regardless of what you know of yourself or anyone else says about you? Can you God
embracing you? What are some implications of unconditional love towards others?
5. Read the verses in your handout that lists Charity-Agape Love verses. These are all
verses resulting from a word search on www.BlueLetterBible.org of the Greek word
agape, denoted with the G26. Using these verses, try to identify one or two that
represent expressions of love that expects something in return. Describe in your
journal/notebook how this is similar to your life.
6. Using the Charity-Agape love verses, try to identify one or two that represent expressions
of love that require some kind of sacrifice from the giver. How is this similar to your life?
7. Using to the Charity-Agape love verses, try to identify a person or circumstance where
love is withheld. Describe in your journal/notebook how this is similar to your life.
8. Re-read Mark 12:30-31 and 1 Corinthians 13:13 and consider what God’s Word has
said/is saying about your walk in unconditional love. Be prepared to share so we can
support one another in prayer.