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ENTER
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WHAT IT’S ABOUT
www.gwynedd.gov.uk/safeguarding-children-board
www.anglesey.gov.uk/safeguarding-children-board
WHAT IT’S ABOUT
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Hello
We are here to help make life safe and easier for all our young
people and this handbook is for you.
You can find all sorts of information on dealing with stress,
substances, eating disorders, sexual exploitation and help and
advice on things you need to know like relationships, health,
staying safe and your rights.
Each subject has a series of icons with helpful hints and tips on
how to deal with situations and local as well as national
contacts, for you to get more help if you need it.
We hope you find the handbook helpful.
Iwan Trefor Jones.
Chair - Gwynedd and Môn Local Safeguarding Children Board.
www.gwynedd.gov.uk/safeguarding-children-board
www.anglesey.gov.uk/safeguarding-children-board
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Signs of anorexia include:
• Eating less and less.
• Losing a lot of weight very quickly.
• Growing more body hair (usually girls).
Signs of bulimia include:
• Eating a lot in one go.
• Going to the toilet after eating to be sick.
• Sore throat and mouth infections from
being sick.
Have you got an eating disorder?
• It’s hard to cope with an eating disorder
alone - talk to someone you trust.
• See your Doctor, who can get you some
counselling*.
• Remember that the sooner you get some
help, the easier it will be for you to beat
your problem.
Has your friend got an eating
disorder?
• Tell them that you’re worried and that
you’re there for them.
• Try and get them to see their Doctor.
• Don’t change what you eat - show your
friend how important it is to have a
healthy diet.
• Don’t give up - it might take time before
they accept they have a problem.
“Most of my friends are always
dieting and trying to lose weight
because they want to look more
like celebrities. I’m happy with my
body though and just try to make
the most of what I’ve got.”
Turn on the TV or flick through a magazine
and chances are you’ll see images of perfectlooking celebrities staring back. This might
affect your body image* and could make you
feel bad about yourself.
It’s a good idea to eat well and stay a healthy
weight. Eating disorders* don’t just affect
young women; currently 1.15 million people in
the UK have an eating disorder. 15% of these
are men.
The two main types of eating disorders are:
Anorexia Nervosa, which is when you starve*
yourself and Bulimia Nervosa, which is
when you make yourself sick after you eat
or take laxatives*. They are both very bad
for your health.
Eating disorders can also be caused by stress
or bad experiences like being abused*.
• Young Person’s Health Advisor
• Beating Eating Disorders
0845 634 7650
www.b-eat.co.uk
• www.need2know.co.uk
* Counselling - Talking to a specially trained person about how
you’re feeling.
* Body image - What you think about your body.
* Eating disorder - A problem with how you think about food.
* Starve - Eat as little as possible.
* Laxatives - Pills or medicine that make you go to the toilet.
* Abused - When you’re hurt or treated badly by someone.
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Signs someone’s self-harming:
• They have cuts, bruises or burns which
are unexplained.
• They wear clothes which keep injuries
hidden even when it’s hot outside.
Are you self-harming?
• You don’t need to keep it a secret. Talk to
someone you can trust.
• Write down in a diary how you feel when
you want to self-harm.
• Keep wounds* clean or they might make
you ill.
Is your friend self-harming?
• Listen to them and let them talk about
how they feel.
• It might help them if they know you’re
there for them.
• Encourage them to see their Doctor, who
will be able to get them some
counselling*.
This will help them talk about why they
self-harm.
• Visit websites and contacts below for
support.
• Speak to your Young Person’s Health
Advisor.
• ChildLine 0800 1111
www.childline.org.uk
• Samaritans 08457 90 90 90
www.samaritans.org
• www.youngminds.org.uk
• www.selfharm.org.uk
• NHS Direct 0845 4647
www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk
• www.actionforchildren.org.uk
• www.nshn.co.uk
“I felt like I was worth nothing,
so started cutting my arms with a
razor. It was the only way I could
make myself feel better and
forget my problems.”
Self-harm is injuring yourself on purpose so
you bleed, leave a scar, mark or bruise. The
most common ways to self-harm are cutting,
scratching, hair pulling and burning. More girls
self-harm than boys.
People self-harm for different reasons. Some
people feel bad because they’re being bullied or
abused* and they say it helps make them feel a
bit better. Or they do it to show other people
they’re unhappy and have other problems.
People who self-harm often don’t ask for help
because they feel ashamed of doing it, but
there is support out there and it needn’t rule
someone’s life.
* Wound - A place on your body that you’ve cut or hurt.
* Counselling - Talk to a specially trained person about how
you’re feeling.
* Abused - When you are hurt or treated badly by someone.
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If you’re stressed you might:
• Have a headache, upset stomach or
skin rash.
• Feel anxious* and irritable*.
• Be unable to sleep at night even though
you feel tired during the day.
• Want to cry a lot.
• Not want to eat or want to eat more
than usual.
• Feel you have no control and are useless.
Do you feel stressed?
• If your parents/carers are putting
pressure on you to do well in exams, talk
to them about how this is making you
feel. Remember that they’re only trying
to encourage you and might not see that
they’re making you anxious.
• Take a deep breath and walk away from
the thing that’s stressing you out, even if
it’s only for a few minutes.
• Eat a healthy diet and try to get enough
sleep.
• Don’t smoke or drink to cope with stress.
It’ll just make you feel worse.
“I’m revising for my exams and
I’ve got so much work to do that
everything’s getting on top of me.
My parents are expecting me to
do really well and I don’t want to
let them down. I can’t cope any
more - help!”
When you worry a lot about something, that
means you’re stressed, or you’re stressed out.
Lots of things can cause this; school and exam
pressure, being bullied, family problems or
when someone you love is ill or dies.
People cope with stress in different ways. You
might feel everything’s getting on top of you
and it can really help to have someone to talk
to about things. Have a break from revision
such as socialising with friends, a visit to the
cinema or the local youth club.
If you’re really anxious, it can make it hard
to cope. You must get help if you feel so bad
you think about skipping school, running
away, taking an overdose, self-harming*, or
if you feel that life is not worth living. If you
are really stressed-out see your Doctor or
Young Person’s Health Advisor.
• www.channel4.com/health
• www.youngminds.org.uk
• www.ru-ok.org.uk
• Your Doctor
• http://kidshealth.org/teen
* Self-harm - Injuring yourself on purpose, could be cutting or burning
skin for example.
* Anxious
- Very
worried.
* Anxious
- Very
worried.
*
Irritable
Feeling
moody
and
edge.
* Irritable - Feeling moody
and
onon
edge.
* Self-harm - Injuring yourself on purpose - could be cutting
for example.
9
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• When people try to get you to do or try
something they might say ‘Everyone else
is doing it, so why aren’t you?’
• If you don’t want to do something but
you do it anyway, you’ll probably regret it.
• Nobody should be made to do anything
they don’t want to.
Are you feeling peer pressure?
• It’s hard if you’re the only one saying ‘no’
to something, but be brave.
• If your friends want you to do something
and you’re not sure, ask yourself how
you really feel about it and stick to what
you believe.
• If you say ‘no’ to something, real friends
should respect your decision*. If they
don’t, maybe you need to find new friends.
• It’s better to have a few friends who want
the best for you than lots of friends who
try and make you do things you don’t want
to do.
Is a friend of yours feeling peer
pressure?
• If your friend doesn’t want to do
something either, back them up by saying
‘no’, too.
• This can really help them and it’ll make
peer pressure easier to resist.
• Help them to make their own choices they will gain confidence.
• Be careful not to put pressure on your
friends.
• Sexual Health Helpline
0800 567 123
www.nhs.uk
• www.likeitis.org.uk
• http://kidshealth.org/teen
“I don’t really care what my
parents think of me, but I want
friends to rate me. That’s why
I’ve started smoking - everyone
else is doing it and I can’t stand
not fitting in.”
Peer pressure is when you think you should do
something because other people your age say
you should, or because everyone else is doing
it too.
This could mean wearing certain clothes, or
maybe smoking, skipping school or even
having sex for the first time.
Sometimes people do things because they
want to be liked, or they worry that they’ll get
teased if they don’t follow the crowd.
It’s normal to want to fit in with everyone else,
but in the end people will think you’re a lot
cooler if you learn to make your own decisions.
* Respect your decision - When people don’t try to change your mind.
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Missing too much school is a bad
idea because:
• You’ll fall behind in important lessons.
• You’ll miss out on being with your
friends everyday.
• It can be hard to catch up with what
everyone else has learnt.
• You might not learn enough
information to pass exams.
“The more lessons I missed, the
harder it was for me to catch up.
In the end, I just stopped going to
school altogether and now I really
wish I hadn’t.”
Everyone has days when they don’t want to
go to school. But if you decide not to go to
lessons when you should, this is called
playing truant, or bunking off. Even missing
one lesson can make a difference to you and
it is still truanting.
Here’s what happens if you miss too
much school:
• Your teacher will want to talk to you
about why you’re bunking off.
• Your school will want to talk to your
parents/carers.
People play truant* for lots of different
reasons. Maybe you’re not doing well enough
in lessons or haven’t done your homework.
Perhaps you feel bored or all your friends
are bunking off too. Or maybe you’re
being bullied.
Worried about a friend or sibling?
• Is your friend or sibling playing truant?
• Don't be pressured by your friend or
sibling to truant or bunk off.
• Try and persuade them to talk to
someone about why they are doing this.
• Kidscape
08451 205 204
www.kidscape.org.uk
• www.youngminds.org.uk
* Play truant - Staying away from school without permission.
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Worried about a friend’s behaviour?
• Signs that someone is at risk of antisocial behaviour include: missing school
or being in trouble at school, stealing or
shop-lifting, having unexplained amounts
of money, mixing with a bad crowd,
using drugs and/or alcohol, violence
towards others.
Worried about your behaviour?
• Be aware of the impact you can have on
others. You might feel that going around
in a big gang of friends is safer, but it
might intimidate other people.
• Adults and young people have the right
to live without fear.
• Remember that if you get into trouble for
misbehaving, it can affect your chances
of getting a good job later on in life.
The government is encouraging
young people to behave well with
these things:
• Youth Inclusion Support Programmes
(YISP) to help young people between 8-17
who might commit anti-social behaviour.
• Acceptable Behaviour Contracts (ABCs),
a written agreement between a young
person and their local authority to stop
problems before they start.
• Anti-social Behaviour Orders (ASBOs), a
set of rules given to a person whose
behaviour is causing problems. The rules
may prevent them from going places or
meeting certain people.
“Some people in my class have
ASBOs because they kept getting
drunk and abusive in the street,
and they seem proud of them.
But why brag if you’ve caused
so many problems.”
The term ‘anti-social behaviour’ means you’re
either harassing someone else or causing him
or her alarm or distress.
When we talk about young people with antisocial behaviour, we mean things like getting
drunk, fighting in the street, threatening*
other people, using abusive* language, shoplifting* or vandalising* property.
Some young people blame peer pressure on
being bored. Anti-social behaviour has to be
paid for; which would you prefer - £160,000
spent on cleaning graffiti or spent on skate
parks and activities for young people?
The government wants young people to grow
up to be good, happy citizens and that means
respecting people and things around them.
* Threaten - To make someone think you are going to hurt them.
* Abusive - Rude.
* Shop-lift - To steal from a shop.
* Vandalise - To damage something.
• In an emergency dial 999
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• Drugs can affect people differently, but
they can harm your body and change the
way your mind works so that you don’t
have so much control of yourself.
• Smoking can lead to cancer and heart
disease.
• Solvents* can cause blackouts, vomiting,
heart problems and even instant death.
• Some people get dependent on drugs
including alcohol and cigarettes if they
are using them often and regularly.
• There is no such thing as a safe drug.
Worried about what you’re taking?
• Ask yourself whether it’s because your
friends are doing it too.
• It takes guts to say no when you’re
offered drugs, but people will think more
of you if you make your own choices.
Worried about a friend?
• Sometimes people may not realise that
they have a problem. To help, inform
yourself of the facts and talk to your
local service for advice.
• They have to want to change for
themselves. You can’t do it for them.
“Most people I know smoke dope
occasionally and two of my friends
have even taken crack. I don’t like
feeling out of it though - I reckon
it’s cooler to be ‘high on life’.”
Being young is all about having new
experiences* and that could include trying
cigarettes and drugs*. It’s normal to want to
have a go at new things, even if you know
they’re bad for you - learning from your own
mistakes is part of growing up.
Maybe you’ve started smoking because you’re
stressed at school. Or you might have tried
drugs, like cannabis, because your friends
have too. But if you know how these things
affect you, you’ll be able to make good choices
for yourself.
The effect of any substance will depend on the
type and amount of drug, how you are already
feeling, where you are when taking it and who
you are with.
• FRANK 0800 77 66 00
www.talktofrank.com
• NHS Smoking Helpline
0800 022 4 332
http://smokefree.nhs.uk
• Narcotics Anonymous helpline
0845 3733366 or 020 7730 0009
www.ukna.org
Smokers skin can be prematurely aged by
between 10-20 years and, although the
damaging effects of cigarette smoke on the
skin are irreversible, further deterioration can
be avoided by stopping smoking.
* Solvents - Things that people sniff, like gas lighter refills or glue.
* Experiences - Doing new things.
* Drug - A drug is anything that changes the way you think, feel or act.
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How much is too much?
• If you’re a male over 18, the safe
recommended limits are no more than
3-4 units a day but not everyday and no
more than 28 units in a week.
• If you’re a female over 18, the safe
recommended limits are no more than
2-3 units a day but not everyday and no
more than 21 units in a week.
• A unit is half a pint of beer or a single
measure of spirits.
• When you drink more than this in one
day it’s called binge drinking, and it’s
bad for your health.
Are you drinking too much?
• Are you drinking because you’ve got
problems at school or at home? Try to
solve the problem so you don’t need to
rely on alcohol.
• Are your friends drinking a lot too? It can
be hard to do things differently from your
friends, but people will respect you more
for it.
“Sometimes I’m so hungover from
the night before that I can’t
concentrate in school and actually
fall asleep in lessons.”
Most people say they drink alcohol because it
makes them feel happy and more confident.
But alcohol can also give you a hangover and
make you feel sick, tired, dehydrated* and
depressed. It can also make you do things you
might regret, like have unprotected sex*.
Lots of people can enjoy drinking without it
causing them any problems. But some people
can get addicted to it, which means they start
to rely on it.
Is your friend drinking too much?
• Sometimes people may not realise that
they have a problem. To help, inform
yourself of the facts and talk to your
friend. Talk to your local service for advice.
• Remember that they have to want to
change their habits - you can’t do it
for them.
• FRANK 0800 77 66 00
www.talktofrank.com
• Drinkline 0800 917 8282
• Alcoholics Anonymous 0845 769 7555
www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk
* Dehydrated - When you need to drink more water.
* Unprotected sex - Sex without a condom.
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• 1/4 of girls and nearly a 1/3 of boys
under 16 have had sex, but the
average age for both sexes is 16.
• 67% of young men and 84% of young
women aged 13-14 regret having
early sex.
• Go to your Doctor or a sexual health
clinic to find out about different types
of contraception*.
• If you’ve had sex without
contraception or the condom has split
or come off the penis, you need to take
Emergency hormonal contraception
within 72 hours. Seek advice from your
Doctor or family planning clinic if you
have had unprotected sex, even if it is
longer than 72 hours.
• If you think you’re pregnant, talk to
your parents/carers about what to do.
• Ask Brook
0808 802 1234
www.brook.org.uk
• Sexual Health Helpline
0800 567 123
www.nhs.uk
• www.sensecds.com
• www.likeitis.org.uk
• www.fpa.org.uk
“My boyfriend said that he’d
finish with me if I didn’t sleep
with him. I agreed but now I wish
I hadn’t, because he chucked me a
few weeks afterwards anyway.”
Part of growing up is going out with people
and then maybe, when the time is right,
having sex for the first time. In the UK, the
age of consent* for sex is 16.
But only you know if you’re ready to have sex
with someone. It’s vital to have safe sex and
use contraception. A condom is best - it stops
you getting pregnant and can also stop you
catching an STI*.
RU READY - OR NOT QUITE YET?
• You feel you could say no if you wanted to
• You can have fun together without
anything sexual involved
• You each want it for yourself, not for the
other person or to fit in with friends
• Nobody's forcing, pressuring you or
making you
• You have discussed using condoms and
contraception
❏
❏
❏
❏
❏
You probably won’t be ready for sex until you
can tick all these boxes - but remember even
if you are, it still doesn’t mean you have to!
It’s your choice and no-one else’s.
* Contraception - Something you use to stop you getting pregnant
when you have sex, like a condom or the pill.
* Age of consent - When the law says you’re old enough to have sex.
This applies to both heterosexual and homosexual individuals.
* STI - Sexually Transmitted Infection that you can catch by having
unprotected sex.
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About half of men and 70% of women
with chlamydia have no symptoms, so
don’t know they have it. If you do have
symptoms*, these can include:
• Unusual vaginal discharge.
• Pain when you pass urine or have sex.
• Bleeding after sex or between periods.
• Pain in your lower abdomen or testicles.
“It’s scary to think that I could be
carrying around an STI without
knowing it. I’m having a test to
make sure, then I will always use
a condom when having sex.”
Chlamydia is the most common Sexually
Transmitted Infection, or STI in the UK.
• Using condoms every time you have sex
can reduce the risks of getting chlamydia
and other STIs, including HIV.
• It’s a good idea to get tested if you have
a new partner or are planning to stop
using condoms during sex.
• If you have chlamydia, always finish the
antibiotics and don’t have sex until
seven days after your treatment. Any
sexual partners you’ve had in the last six
months will also need to be tested.
• Sexual Health Helpline
0800 567 123
www.nhs.uk
• GUM
08451 558189
• Family Planning clinics
08451 434429
• NHS Direct
0845 4647
www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk
• www.chlamydiascreening.nhs.uk
In women, it can lead to pelvic pain, infertility,*
ectopic pregnancies and miscarriages. Pregnant
women who have chlamydia can give their
babies conjunctivitis and pneumonia. Men who
have it can also become infertile and even
develop arthritis. Inflammation of the testicles
for men is a symptom.
If you have chlamydia you might not know it,
as not everyone has symptoms. If you do have
symptoms, they usually appear between one
and three weeks after you come into contact
with someone who has chlamydia. Some
people don’t notice symptoms until months
after the infection has spread to another part
of their body.
That’s why it’s good to take the simple,
confidential* test. It’s a urine test for men and
self taken vaginal swab for women. If you have
the infection you can be treated with a free
course of oral antibiotics*.
The best way to avoid getting a Sexually
Transmitted Infection like chlamydia is to use
a condom during sex.
* Symptoms - The signs your body shows if there is something
wrong with it.
* Infertility - When you are not able to have a baby.
* Confidential - Without anyone knowing.
* Oral antibiotics - A medicine, which you swallow such as penicillin,
which kills bacteria.
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Don’t have sex because your boyfriend or
girlfriend wants you to but you’re not sure.
It’s completely up to you. Remember it’s
against the law to have sex if you’re
under 16.
Signs you may be pregnant:
• Your period is late.
• You feel sick.
• You have a metallic taste in your mouth.
• Your breasts are sore.
“When my best friend had a baby
it changed her life so much. I
want to be a mum one day, but
would rather wait until I’m older
and am more mature.”
Becoming a parent can be a wonderful and
fulfilling thing in life, but it’s important that
you’re ready for it.
• Go to your Doctor or sexual health
clinic to find out about different types
of contraception*.
• If you’ve had unprotected sex* and
your period is late, take a pregnancy
test at your Doctor, chemist or family
planning clinic*. Talk to your parents
about what to do. If you feel you can’t,
there are lots of places to go to get
help and advice.
• If you’ve had unprotected sex,
emergency contraception can stop you
getting pregnant as long as you take it
within 72 hours. Ask your Doctor or
family planning clinic.
Bringing up a baby will put you under huge
pressure and stress and can be really hard
work. That’s why many people wait until
they’re a bit older to start a family.
If you have unprotected sex, you might get
pregnant. Using contraception, for example
condoms, the pill, cap or coil, will prevent
this. Condoms are best as they stop you
catching STIs like chlamydia, candida, herpes
and HIV too.
Don’t be embarrassed to talk about
contraception early on, so you don’t get
carried away before it’s too late. It’s worth it
to stay safe and healthy.
• Sexual Health Helpline
0800 567 123
www.nhs.uk
• www.sensecds.com
• www.likeitis.org.uk
• www.fpa.org.uk
• www.nhs.uk/worthtalkingabout
If you’ve had unprotected sex and your period
is late, don’t panic. The next step is to find out
if you’re pregnant and decide what to do.
* Contraception - Something you use to stop you getting pregnant
when you have sex, like a condom.
* Unprotected sex - Sex without using a condom.
* Family Planning Clinic - Somewhere you can go for free advice on
sex and contraception.
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• If you’re pregnant*, don’t hide it. The
sooner you tell someone, the better.
That way, you can plan what’s going to
happen in the future.
• If you think your friend is pregnant,
encourage them to talk about how
they’re feeling. They’ll probably need a
lot of support.
When you go to see your Doctor,
they will:
• Ask the date of your last period so you
know how far along your pregnancy is.
• Examine you.
• Take blood tests, a urine test and tests
for sexually transmitted infections*.
• Encourage you to start taking vitamins
to make sure you and your baby are
healthy.
If you’re pregnant but not sure what you’re
going to do, contact your local family
planning clinic to discuss your options.
You can still get a good education if you
have a baby. There’s lots of help out there
for you.
• Sexual Health Helpline
0800 567 123
www.nhs.uk
• Ask Brook
0808 802 1234
www.brook.org.uk
• www.fpa.org.uk
0845 122 8690
• Careers Wales
www.careerswales.com
• Ty Bach Twt
01492 540757
“When I fell pregnant I thought
that was the end of my education.
But my school gave me lots of
support. Two years on and I’ve
got a gorgeous son - and my
GCSEs!”
Finding out you’re pregnant can be a big
surprise if you haven’t planned it.
You might feel scared about telling anyone, or
worried about how life will change. Expecting
a baby can be a really exciting time too.
It’s a good idea to tell someone close to you.
If you don’t feel ready to talk to your parents
yet, confide in a friend.
Taking good care of yourself will help you and
your baby stay healthy, and it’s important to
see your Doctor as soon as possible. Make sure
you go to your appointments.
Smoking, drinking alcohol and taking drugs
are bad for you and your baby.
If you’re still at school, you’ll get help to
continue your education. There’s also help to
find you a job if you’re old enough to leave
school. Just because you are a parent doesn’t
mean your education has to end. Find out your
entitlements and benefits.
* Pregnant - Going to have a baby.
* Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI) - Infections you catch through
unprotected sex (e.g. Chlamydia).
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Living on your own or in a shared
house* isn't easy. You're probably used
to your parents/carers doing everything
for you, so find out:
• How much rent* and deposit* the
landlord* is asking for and who will pay it.
• How much bills will be (for example,
money you have to spend on food,
electricity, gas, council tax).
• If you'll have any money left over to
spend on yourself.
• If you're happy doing your own washing,
cooking and cleaning.
• What furniture you'll need (for example, a
bed, sofa, table, chairs).
• Work out your budget, which is how
much money you can afford to pay on
rent and bills.
• Try and give yourself as much time as
possible before you leave home, because
there are lots of things to plan and
sort out.
• If you want to leave home because of
problems with your family, try and talk to
your parents/carers to see if you can
make things better. Do you have any
relatives you can stay with instead?
• If you have no choice and must leave
home because of family problems, there
are lots of places you can go for help and
advice (see below for information).
• Careers Wales
www.careerswales.com
• www.thesite.org.uk
• www.refugeecouncil.org.uk
“Leaving home to go to college was
a real shock. I was used to my mum
doing everything for me - cooking,
cleaning, washing, ironing, even
buying my toothpaste!”
Nearly everyone leaves home at some point and
it can be exciting as well as scary. Maybe you're
leaving your area to start college or university
somewhere else. Or perhaps you're moving in
with your friends, boyfriend or girlfriend.
You might not be so lucky though and may
feel that moving out is your only option
because you're not getting on with your family.
Leaving home is a big step and it's best to
know as much as you can about what it'll be
like before it happens.
* Living in a shared house - Living with other people, for example
housemates.
* Rent - Money you have to pay to live somewhere. You usually pay
it every week or every month.
* Deposit - Money you have to pay when you first move in somewhere.
You get it back when you move out if you've paid all the rent and
haven't damaged the place.
* Landlord - Person who owns the house/flat you want to live in.
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Signs someone’s being abused:
• They become quiet and withdrawn.
• They have injuries they can’t explain.
• They wear clothes that cover them up
even when it is hot.
• They don’t like being touched.
• They put themselves down.
“I keep pretending to forget my
PE kit so I don’t have to do games
lessons, but really I don’t want
anyone to see the bruises on
my legs.”
Most young people get enough care and love to
grow up into happy, healthy adults. But some
aren’t so lucky, and experience abuse - either to
themselves or to someone they live with.
Are you being abused?
• Remember that it’s not your fault - the
person who’s abused you is to blame.
• Remember that you have the right to
feel safe.
• Tell someone you can trust, like a
parent/carer, teacher or friend.
Is someone you live with being
abused?
• Keep safe. Find a safe place in the
house or somewhere else you can go
to when things get hard at home.
• Tell someone you can trust, like a
teacher or friend, or call one of the
helplines listed under Contacts.
• Try to get them to seek help, and point
out the helplines listed under Contacts.
There are four kinds of abuse:
Physical which is hitting, punching, burning,
wounding, etc.
Sexual which is when you’re forced to have
sex, someone touches you in a way that makes
you feel uncomfortable, etc.
Emotional which is when someone criticises
you all the time or shouts at you, etc.
Neglect which is when you don’t get enough
food or don’t have clothes to keep you
warm, etc.
A young person usually knows the person who
is hurting them or making them do things that
they should not. Abuse can happen anywhere.
If you are being abused it can be very
upsetting and it can make you feel frightened,
angry, alone, guilty and unloved.
Remember abuse is never right.
No one chooses to be abused.
• ChildLine 0800 1111
www.childline.org.uk
• NSPCC 0808 800 5000
www.nspcc.org.uk
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Signs of an abusive relationship are
when:
• The other person does not let you spend
time with family and friends.
• You always feel like you need to watch
what you say and do.
• You are put down and humiliated.
• You are hurt, threatened or told that the
other person will harm themselves
because of you.
• You are scared to say ‘no’.
• You are not allowed to make you own
decisions.
Are you being abused?
• Remember that it’s not your fault - the
person who’s abused you is to blame.
• Remember that you have the right to feel
safe at home.
• Tell someone you can trust, like a
parent/carer, teacher or friend.
• Don’t suffer in silence, even if you might
be worried if you tell.
Is one of your parents/carers being
abused?
• Keep safe. Find a place in the house you
can go to when things get hard at home.
• Tell someone you can trust, like a teacher,
friend, or call a one of the helplines listed.
• Welsh Domestic Abuse Helpline
0808 8010 800
• National Domestic Violence Helpline
0808 2000 247
www.womensaid.org.uk
“He gets mad over small things, like
who I’ve been talking to. He sulks
and goes into a temper so quickly,
it frightens me, so I’m always
careful about everything I say and
do. He scares me and it’s just easier
to do whatever he wants.”
Domestic abuse happens when one person
tries to control, bully or hurt another they are
in a relationship with. Domestic abuse is
closely linked to child abuse and it may be that
some children and young people are caused
harm by living in an environment where
domestic abuse occurs.
The first step to changing what is happening,
is to understand the abuse: Physical Abuse - is
when someone is violent (or threatens you
with violence), such as pushing, hitting,
punching, smashing things around you or
maybe scaring you by driving dangerously.
Emotional Abuse - is when someone puts you
down and humiliates you. They will constantly
check up on you and stop you from seeing
friends and family. This type of abuse is very
powerful and can be a warning sign that the
person may become violent in the future.
Sexual Abuse - is when someone pressures you
or forces you into doing sexual things that you
don’t want to, including rape, touching you in
a way that makes you feel uncomfortable,
taking sexualised pictures of you or
making you watch pornography.
Financial Abuse - is when someone does
not allow you to have your own money or
make your own financial decisions. They may
buy everything for you and make you give
them any money you earn yourself. They
may prevent you from having you
own job. Honour Based Violence is when family, friends and
communities seek to ‘punish’ a
person for what they think is
disrespect and shame brought
to their culture or religion.
It is against the law for someone
to physically hurt you, threaten to
hurt you or sexually abuse you. If you
are experiencing domestic abuse or
living in an environment where
domestic abuse is affecting you, you
should talk to someone such as a
friend, relative, a teacher, call a helpline
or contact an appropriate website.
You must always call the Police on
999 if you are in danger.
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• Not going to school or staying away
from home, evidence of drug or
alcohol abuse, changes in mood or
behaviour, loss of contact with former
friends and new relationships with an
older age group, lack of self-esteem.
“I used to blame myself. How
could I be so stupid to get into
this! Now I know better. I was
thirteen; he was twenty. He said
he loved me, but all along he
knew exactly what he was doing.”
It may be hard to imagine how any child could
be drawn into prostitution.
• Talk to someone you trust about what
is happening. Remember you are not
to blame.
• Get in touch with information and
support agencies that can help you and
your child. It is never too early or too
late to get help.
The sad fact is that those adults who benefit
from child prostitution use clever methods to
catch their victims and keep them. This is
against the law and a form of sexual abuse,
which puts you at risk and can cause physical,
emotional and psychological* damage.
Even with the best parents in the world, some
children will find themselves open to this form
of abuse. Keeping or getting out of this
situation can require specialist help - but
remember it is never too early or too late to
get help.
• NSPCC
0808 800 5000
www.nspcc.org.uk
• Save the Children (National)
020 7703 5400
www.savethechildren.org.uk
• Barnardo’s
www.barnardos.org.uk
* Psychological - Mental or emotional state of mind.
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Signs someone’s being bullied:
• They suddenly become unhappy or
withdrawn.
• They start missing school.
• They’ve got physical injuries they don’t
want to talk about.
Are you being bullied?
• It probably won’t stop until you tell
someone you trust - a friend, your
parents/carers, a teacher.
• Act confidently to send out the message
that you’re not afraid.
• Stay with others - you’re more likely to
be picked on if you’re on your own.
• Keep a diary and keep all text messages
as evidence of what happens. You can use
it later to show you’re telling the truth.
Is your friend being bullied?
• Take their worries seriously.
• Stick up for them if you see they’re being
picked on.
• They might want you to be with them
when they tell their parents/carers or a
teacher they’re being bullied.
“Most evenings, I get a text
saying a group of them will be
waiting to get me at school the
next morning. I can’t sleep and
dread going in every day.”
Bullying at school can often be things like
name-calling, hitting, happy-slapping or
stealing someone’s things. It also includes stuff
that’s less visible, like sending nasty texts or
spreading false rumours about someone.
People get picked on for lots of reasons. Being
bullied can make you dread going to school
and can also make you feel depressed, lonely
and even suicidal.
If you’re being bullied, you’re not alone - every
seven seconds another young person in Britain
is going through it too. You might feel that
there’s no way out, but there are lots of ways to
get help. Remember, it’s not your fault and you
have the right to live without being picked on.
• Your parent/carer
• www.kidscape.org.uk
• www.nspcc.org.uk
• www.bullying.co.uk
• Samaritans
08457 90 90 90
www.samaritans.org
• ChildLine
0800 1111
www.childline.org.uk
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Here’s how to stay safe in chatrooms:
• Don’t use your real name.
• Don’t lie about your age.
• Don’t give out your email address,
mobile number, home address or
school address.
• Don’t post your photo in a chatroom.
• Use public chatrooms where there are
lots of people, not private chatrooms
where there are only two people.
• Don’t agree to meet anyone you’ve met
in a chatroom unless you can take one
of your parents/carers along too.
“Most people I talk to in chatrooms
are fine, but once someone kept
asking me to go round to their
house on my own. It sounded a
bit dodgy so I said no.”
Going into an Internet chatroom* is a great
way to have fun and make new friends.
• If you think that someone in a chatroom
is lying about who they are, email the
person who’s in charge of the chatroom.
• Warn your friends about this chatroom.
• Don’t use that chatroom again - find
another one that’s safer.
Is your friend in danger?
• Tell them not to meet up with anyone
they have met in a chatroom.
• Tell them not to give out personal details.
• Support them and encourage them to
tell someone about what is happening.
• www.ceop.gov.uk
• www.chatdanger.com
But you need to be careful. You can’t see or
hear the people you talk to in chatrooms and
sometimes they lie about who they say they
are. They may be men who are a lot older than
you, for example. They could lie about their age.
Some men or women go to young people’s
chatrooms because they want to meet young
people on their own to have sex with them, or
sexually abuse* them. These people are called
paedophiles and they can be very dangerous.
* Chatroom - A web page that you type text into and ‘chat’ with
other people.
* Abuse - When someone hurts you.
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• Puberty* changes how boys and girls
see each other and it’s important to
have healthy relationships.
• If you’re a boy, learn to know your own
strength. You might think that pushing a
girl you’re interested in is okay and
playful, but she now might find it
intimidating*.
• If you like someone, they’ll like you more
if you’re polite and kind to them - not
rude and threatening.
“I used to be so shy that if
someone ever made me feel
uncomfortable, I’d say nothing.
But these days I’m more confident
and am not afraid to stand up for
myself if I don’t like what’s
happening.”
• If someone’s behaviour is making you
uncomfortable - how they act around you,
things they say or do - be firm with them.
• Tell them you don’t like it and that you
want them to stop. If they don’t stop,
get help.
• Talk to someone you trust like a friend,
parent/carer or teacher. It’s better to do
something about it now so it doesn’t
carry on.
No one has the right to make you feel
uncomfortable. So if someone is behaving in a
way that you don’t like, it’s important to speak
up and ask them to stop doing it.
An adult might say something or do something
to you that you think is wrong. Growing up
can also give you the tools you need to stand
up for yourself* and get help so it doesn’t
happen again.
Going through puberty brings on many
changes in people’s bodies and in their minds
too. All these changes mean that boys and
girls start to see each other differently and
need to show each other more respect and
consideration.
• For support and advice speak to your
School Nurse
• ChildLine 0800 1111
www.childline.org.uk
* Puberty - When you change from being a child to an adult.
* Intimidating - Threatening.
* Stand up for yourself - Do something to help yourself.
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There are many different sorts of
disabilities:
• You might use a wheelchair, or you may
be hearing or speech-impaired*, or you
might have a learning disability.
• If you have a disabled friend or relative,
try to see things from their point of view.
Chances are they don’t want your
sympathy just understanding.
“I used to think the world was
against me. Now I’m really excited
about my new school and the
future.”
Being disabled could mean you are unable to
do some of the things that other people can do.
You may face more challenges but life can still
be as fun and full of personal achievement.
Think about:
• Joining a club or group where you can
chat to other people with similar
difficulties.
• If you are feeling down, or there are
things your school could do to make it a
better place for you to be, tell someone.
Being a young person can be a tough time,
sometimes it’s even harder with a disability.
Everyone wants to fit in and it can be easy to
feel you are alone. Remember you don’t have to
go it alone - there’s loads of support out there
for you.
Up until now, your parents have probably made
all your decisions - now you may be able to
start to make some choices for yourself.
A good education can improve your chances
later in life, education is important for everyone.
Just because you are disabled in some way
does not mean you can’t live a full and exciting
life. Aim high and you’ll achieve.
• Your School Nurse
• www.whizz-kidz.org.uk
• www.barnardos.org.uk
• www.actionforkids.org
• www.mencap.org.uk
0808 808 1111
* Hearing or speech-impaired - Someone who can’t hear or speak
very well.
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• Being a carer means looking after
someone, even if it’s just for a few
hours a week.
• Not talking about how you feel means
you might miss out on getting the
support* you need.
• Unfortunately some young carers are
bullied* at school or fall behind in
lessons.
“I love my mum, but it’s not
always easy to look after her. It
helps to talk to other young carers
who know how I’m feeling.”
If you look after a parent, relative or brother
or sister who is ill, physically or mentally
disabled*, a drug addict or alcoholic*, then
you could be a young carer.
• If you’re finding things hard, is there
anyone else who can share the caring
you do?
• If you’re being bullied at school or your
school work is affected, talk to your
parents, teacher or an adult you trust.
• You can meet other young people like
you at Young Carers Projects - it might
be a club or a day out.
• If you’re planning to work in the future,
some companies have Carers Policies to
make it easy as possible for you.
• The government has started New Deal
for Carers to try to take some pressure*
off young carers.
• NCH Young Carers Project
01248 353095/364614
www.actionforchildren.org.uk
• The Princess Royal Trust for Young Carers
02920 221788 www.youngcarers.net
• The National Young Carers Initiative
www.youngcarer.com
Sometimes it might be too much to cope with
and make you feel alone, angry or worried. It’s
good to talk about how you feel and ask for
help if you need it.
Caring for someone can make you feel tired so
try to look after yourself, too. It’s okay to have
some time doing things you enjoy, like relaxing
with friends or listening to music.
It can be hard to think about your future,
whether you plan to get a job or
apprenticeship*, or go to college or university.
But you have to live your life too. That doesn’t
mean that you love your family any less.
* Support - Help.
* Bullied - When someone hurts or frightens another person.
* Pressure - When you feel you must do something.
* Disabled - Someone who has part of their body or brain that
doesn’t work fully.
* Alcoholic - Someone who is addicted to alcohol.
* Apprenticeship - When you train on the job, maybe having a day or
two each week at a college.
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U s e f u l c o n t ac t s
www.gwynedd.gov.uk/safeguarding-children-board
Anglesey Children and Young People’s
Information Service
01248 725800
Anglesey Educational Welfare Service
01248 752909
Anglesey Health Visiting and School
Nursing Service
01248 753136
Anglesey Social Services Child Assessment
Team
01248 752733
Anglesey Women’s Aid
01248 750903
Bangor and District Women’s Aid
01248 370877
Barnardos
Blaenau Ffestiniog 01766 832546
Caernarfon 01286 675847
Anglesey 01248 751194
Bt Malicious Caller Freephone
0800 661 441
CAIS
01248 718030
ChildLine
0800 1111
ChildLine Bullying Line
0800 449 944
Emergency Out Of Hours Team
01286 675502
Gum Clinics Ysbyty Gwynedd, Bangor
01248 384054
Gwynedd Educational Welfare Service
01286 679607
Gwynedd Health Visiting Service
01286 684005
Gwynedd - Mon Substance Misuse Service
01248 351829
Gwynedd - Ni (Information Service for
Children,Young People and Families)
01286 675570
Gwynedd School Nurse Service
01286 684002
Gwynedd Social Services Intake and Referral
Team
01758 704455
Health Clinic Gum Dept, Pwllheli
01758 701000
Kidscape
08451 205 204
Missing Persons Helpline
0500 700 700
NCH Young Carers Project
01248 353095/364614
North Wales Police
0845 607 1002
North West Wales Family Planning Clinics Info
01286 684015
NSPCC
0808 800 5000
Project Lydia - Anglesey
01407 765914
Samaritans
08457 90 90 90
Sexual Health Wales
0800 657 123
South Gwynedd Women’s Aid
01766 830 878/01758 721761
Ysbyty Penrhos Stanley, Holyhead
01407 766026
Weblinks
www.gwynedd-ni.org.uk
www.younganglesey.org.uk
Check the Gwynedd website for the latest phone
numbers on
www.gwynedd.gov.uk
Check the Mon website for the latest phone
numbers on
www.anglesey.gov.uk
Designed & marketed by Coles McConnell Ltd, Maidstone. © 2010. All rights reserved. Telephone: 01622 685959 www.coles-mcconnell.com
www.anglesey.gov.uk/safeguarding-children-board
Contacts were correct at time of press.
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