Coaching Females
Soccer and Girls’
Self-Esteem
By Dr. Jack Levine
Coaches of girls’ soccer teams face a
disturbing problem that goes beyond youth
sports. Many young girls are losing their
enthusiasm, confidence and self-esteem by the
time they reach high school.
A 1990 study by the American Association
of University Women, “Shortchanging Girls,
Shortchanging America,” showed that although
60 percent of elementary school girls say, “I am
happy the way I am,” only 29 percent of high
school girls feel the same way. This striking drop
in self-esteem and confidence, along with increasing conflict and negative body image, begins in
junior high school at about age 11 or 12.
The causes of the drop in self-esteem are
complicated. Girls change dramatically during adolescence both in body and mind. It
is usually a time of turmoil and conflict. In
school, where there often is a male-oriented
curriculum, unequal testament still exists, as in
scholastic sports. Adolescent girls begin to feel
the conflicts and contradictions that surround
a woman’s role in our society.
Today, more than ever, women (and men)
tend to be judged by their appearance. The
media define “attractiveness” in ways that very
few girls can attain. Some positive inner qualities, such as compassion and gentleness, often
are considered stumbling blocks to success.
The feelings of rejections from friends and
conflicts with parents can be very stressful.
Self-esteem is how we think of ourselves as
an individual and in comparison with others.
High self-esteem means we think that we are a
“good” person. It reflects the self-confidence to
take a chance and try something new, the ability to risk failure and be able to bounce back.
Positive self-esteem lets persons share themselves with others and develop cooperative relationships. Low self-esteem leaves one vulnerable
to the negative influences of others. It becomes
difficult to connect with other people. There is
doubt when trying to accomplish new tasks. It
may even lead to sadness or depression.
The family is the strongest force in shaping
self-esteem. But youth sports and girls soccer, in
particular, can help to develop positive self-esteem.
When girls play soccer they are judged by
their performance on the field, not by their looks.
Soccer encourages taking risks and independent
thinking. Girls must make hundreds of decisions
during each game. Some are right, and others
are wrong. Learning from mistakes helps build
character. Creative problem-solving in games and
practices helps build confident minds. Learning
skills in practice and applying them successfully
on the field also builds confidence.
Gaining strength, endurance and athletic
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ability improves self-concept and body image.
Soccer also requires cooperation and teamwork. When girls develop trust in each other,
they feel good about themselves.
important at this age when many adolescent
girls drop out of sports.
DO read and learn about the psychological development of adolescent girls (see references).
The causes of the drop in self-esteem are
complicated. Girls change dramatically
during adolescence both in body and mind. It is
usually a time of turmoil and conflict.
As coaches, how can we help? Here are
some dos and don’ts:
Do’s
DO be committed to your vision and goals for
the team. Communicate this with the players and parents. Provide leadership and
guidance. Make being on your team a special experience.
DO stress basic skills. With solid fundamental
skills, the girls will develop competency.
They can feel confident in their soccerplaying ability.
DO treat everyone with the respect that she
deserves. Admit it when you make mistakes.
Learn from the girls.
DO communicate openly and honestly with
your team. Explain your decisions and give
reasons. Most people can accept an honest
explanation. Otherwise, some girls may misunderstand you, take things too personally,
or incorrectly blame themselves.
DO teach and stress sportsmanship, clean play,
teamwork and cooperation. By appreciating
teammates, opponents and referees, the girls
will better understand themselves.
DO stress the idea of playing hard to win rather
than winning as an end in itself. Reward
girls who take risks and try new things regardless of the outcome.
DO maximize positive and successful experiences.
Play at an appropriate level of competition.
Always losing badly becomes frustrating and
winning easily is no challenge.
DO compliment the girls frequently about their
play, appearance and attitude. Treat them
with kindness and concern. Show them that
they are appreciated.
DO encourage all family members, female and
male, to come to games. Stress the importance of family support. It is particularly
DO become an advocate for girls’ and women’s
sports (join the Women’s Sports Foundation,
East Meadow, N.Y.).
DO serve as a good role model. A female coach
can be an excellent example for young girls to
aspire to. A male coach should exemplify the
type of non-aggressive, non-threatening behavior that we would like girls to experience
as they grow up.
Don’ts
DON’T embarrass a player. Use a gentle approach without singling out anyone. Adolescents are very sensitive.
DON’T yell instructions from the sidelines. The
players need to be able to make their own
decisions comfortably. Yelling may be misinterpreted as anger.
DON’T set up players for failure. Maximize a
player’s success by carefully matching her
position and role on the team with her skills
and attitude.
DON’T tease or criticize the girls about their
physical appearance
DON’T talk about or encourage weight loss.
The incidence of eating disorders in female
athletes is extraordinarily high. Teenage girls
are the most at risk.
DON’T tolerate sexist remarks from parents,
coaches, referees, spectators or friends.
Speak up for what you know is right.
As the coaches of adolescent girls, we
have a great responsibility beyond teaching
soccer and winning games. We need to work
hard to increase self-confidence and improve
self-esteem. Girls’ participation in youth soccer
should be a stepping-stone to becoming selfassured, confident women.
Soccer Journal November-December 2011